CHARISMA: the Gift of Energetic Grace

Think you know grace? Think again. In this episode of the UNCOMMODiFiED podcast, Tim Windsor flips the script on grace, stripping away its soft and squishy connotations and revealing it for what it truly is—a raw, untamed power that transforms everything it touches. Grace isn’t a free pass or a sign of weakness; it’s fire. It’s grit. It’s the kind of force that doesn’t just build bridges but blasts through walls of fear, defensiveness, and shame.

Drawing inspiration from the story of civil rights leader Dorothy Height and backed by neuroscience, Tim delves into why charisma and grace are more than just feel-good concepts. They are catalysts that propel us from survival mode into a space where creativity, problem-solving, and authentic connection thrive. He doesn’t hold back—he challenges you to extend grace not just to others but to yourself, and shows you how to wield it as a tool for growth, not an excuse for mediocrity.

But this episode isn’t just about theory and inspiration—it’s filled with actionable takeaways. You’ll discover how to reframe mistakes, leverage vulnerability as a leadership superpower, and transform charisma from a manipulative tactic into a servant-driven force for good. Prepare to shift your mindset, elevate your influence, and become graciously charismatic. 

Listen now and unlock the charisma and energetic grace that can transform your life and the world.

Tim Windsor
 the UNCOMMODiFiED Podcast – Host & Guide
 tim@uncommodified.com
 https://uncommodified.com/
  
 PRODUCERS: Kris MacQueen & Alyne Gagne
 MUSIC BY: https://themacqueens.ca/

Transcript

PLEASE NOTE: UNCOMMODiFiED Podcast episode transcriptions are raw text files and have not been proofed or edited. They are what they are … Happy Reading.

© UNCOMMODiFiED & TIM WINDSOR

[00:00:00] Hey, my friends, welcome back to the uncommodified 

Podcast where comfort zones come to die and transformation is born. I'm Tim Windsor, and today we're going to dive into a topic that's been cheapened by misunderstanding and superficiality. The topic is grace. Yep, you heard me, grace. You've been lied to about grace, and so have I over the years.

We've been told it's weakness. But it's not. We've been told it's about lowering our expectations or giving people a free pass. That's garbage. Grace is power. Grace is fire. And you wield grace to create connection and inspire change and build. This episode was inspired actually by a LinkedIn article post that I read by woman by the name of Suzanne Taylor King entitled Charisma and Gender Bias.

You should read that. Go to LinkedIn and look that up. I was recently a guest on Suzanne's Unlock Your Way with STK podcast and that's how I met her and came across that article. Look it up. It's great. But here's what me to think about. The word charisma [00:01:00] traces back to the Greek, the word charis, meaning grace or a gift of grace.

Charisma isn't just a magnetic charm. It's the ability to speak and act with an energetic grace that transforms everyone and everything it touches. Grace isn't soft or weak. It's sharp. It's deliberate. And today we're going to explore how to unleash its raw, untamed power on ourselves and on others.

Grace isn't about excusing failure or mediocrity. It's about creating space for growth for yourself and others. Grace says, I see you where you are. I see where you can go. Let's bridge that gap together. Now here's the science behind it. When you extend grace, whether to yourself or someone else, your brain releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone.

While it activates the prefrontal cortex. That's the part of the brain that's responsible for creativity, problem solving, and big picture thinking. Grace literally shifts us out of survival mode, fear, [00:02:00] defensiveness, and shame. And he puts us into a space where we can thrive. But when Grace's absence, the opposite happens.

The amygdala takes over. Fear, shame, and anger dominate. People don't grow when they're stuck in fight or flight mode. They freeze. They wither. Grace is that antidote. Now let's talk about a story of Grace's raw power. Uh, one you've never probably heard before. It's a story of a woman named Dorothy Height.

Dorothy was a civil rights leader who stood at the intersection of activism and grace and in the 1960s during that tremendous racial tension, she played a significant part. Height led negotiations between civil rights leaders and government officials. She faced hostility, she faced and outright hatred.

But she didn't respond with venom, she responded. with grace. She listened. She didn't compromise her values, but she created space for dialogue. Her grace didn't make her weak. [00:03:00] It made her unstoppable. It, it allowed her to navigate egos, contentions, and open doors that were slammed shut, nailed shut, in fact.

Her ability to extend grace to people who didn't deserve it became her superpower. And this is why Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. called her the unseen hands behind the civil rights movement. Grace is not passive. It is a force that breaks barriers and builds bridges. It's the grace that was part of Dorothy's power.

Now, let's shift gear a little bit and talk about you. how often do you extend grace to yourself? No, really. Think about it. How often do you pause, acknowledge yourself and your imperfections and create room for growth? Grace isn't about letting yourself off the hook. It's about getting yourself back on track.

And if your own harshness becomes problematic for you, if you're your [00:04:00] most harshest critic, you're not tough, you're just scared at the end of the day. See, grace takes more guts than loathing ever will. And neuroscience backs this up as well. Self compassion, a form of grace, reduces cortisol, the stress hormone, and it builds resistance and resilience in us. When you extend grace to yourself, you're not being weak. You're recharging your strength. So, here's how to start. The next time you mess up, resist the urge to spiral into shame. Instead, ask yourself, What can I learn from this?

And then move forward. Because grace is a forward moving action. It's not stagnation. Now, let's flip it for a second. How do you use grace to elevate the people around you? Grace isn't about lowering your expectations. It's about raising your beliefs. It says, I see your potential and I'm not going to let you settle for less.

I think of a leader who transformed your life. For instance, chances are they [00:05:00] extended grace when you didn't deserve it. They, they didn't shame you. They didn't abandon you. They invested in you. And investment created trust. And trust is the foundation of high performance. Google's project Aristotle, found that psychological safety, where people feel safe to take risks, is the top predictor of team success, because grace creates safety.

Now, practically, here's what this looks like. When, when someone messes up, address it with empathy. Say, here's what went wrong. I, uh, I believe you can fix it. Let's make it better together. Grace doesn't ignore failure. It uses failure as a stepping stone towards something better and greater. Now, let's talk about charisma.

Let's talk about that part of the equation again. When we think of charisma, we picture people who captivate a room. Leaders who are influential and visionaries who seem to command attention effortlessly. But here's the trap. Charisma isn't about using your magnetism to manipulate others.

It's about motivating them. It's [00:06:00] about using your presence and energy to call people into something greater and higher. True charisma, grounded in grace and empowered by grace, isn't about making people admire you. It's about making them believe in themselves. It's about saying, I see you. I see what you can become.

Let's get there together. And that's the difference between selfish charisma and servant. One inflates egos, your ego, and the other empowers everyone's opportunities and abilities. Now here's three practical ways that you can increase your charisma, but make sure it's energized by grace. One, be fully present.

Charisma isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's about making the person in front of you feel like they're the only one that matters. Listen deeply. Respond thoughtfully. is power Secondly, share the Instead of hugging attention, redirect it. Highlight others achievements, their contributions.

Celebrate [00:07:00] their wins. Charisma grows when people feel seen and valued. Lead with vulnerability. Lead with vulnerability. This is the last thing I want you to think about. People with authenticity, not perfection. Share your struggles, show your humanity.

When you lead with vulnerability, you invite others to step into their own courage. Charisma infused with grace becomes a force for good. It stops being about you and starts being about what you can create in and through others. So, now let's move back to grace for a second. So, so how do you and wield grace?

Here's five things for you to consider. Number one, reframe mistakes. Start seeing mistakes as data points, not death sentences. Each mistake teaches you and others something new. Secondly, pause before reacting. When someone frustrates you, pause, take a deep breath. Ask yourself, what's really going on here?

Grace requires patience and perspective. Thirdly, speak life. Replace [00:08:00] criticism with constructive feedback. Instead of saying you failed, say, here's how we can succeed together. Words are powerful, so use them wisely. Fourthly, celebrate progress. Public of growth is important. When someone improves, call it out.

Grace thrives in an environment of acknowledgement and encouragement. And lastly, model it. Model grace. People mirror what they see. If you want a culture of grace around you, be the first to extend it. when the going is difficult and it's hard to do so. So here's a challenge for you. Choose one person to intentionally extend grace to.

Maybe it's someone who's frustrated you. Maybe someone who's failed you. Or maybe it's you yourself. Extend grace, not as an excuse, but as an act of belief in their ability or your ability to grow. And grace is not weakness. It is charismatic in its purest form. It [00:09:00] is the catalyst that turns fear into courage, failure into progress, and division into connection.

So unleash it, use it, and watch the transformation unfold. Until next time, stay bold, stay brave, and be graciously charismatic. Cheers, have an excellent day.