Certified Yoga Instructor and Nurse, Lindsay Graves, talks about owning the free spirit persona she knew she was, but wasn’t fully living into when alcohol started limiting her more than it was helping her be free. She realized when she had a craving first things in the morning & her personal relationships were suffering, that something wasn’t right. She put her tools of yoga and meditation to work and really decided to dive into the deep exploration of self inquiry. Now she is influencing her followers on IG to live a truly free spirited life, FREE of SPIRITS, alcohol free. Lindsey will be gracing the yoga class room and her coworker for years to come with her laid back vibe by guiding them thought the deep embodiment practice of yoga and meditation. Linsey thank you for gracing us with your presence! You are a shining light.
Check out Lindsey's Super fun IG @freeofspirits
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Certified Yoga Instructor and Nurse, Lindsay Graves, talks about owning the free spirit persona she knew she was, but wasn’t fully living into when alcohol started limiting her more than it was helping her be free. She realized when she had a craving first things in the morning & her personal relationships were suffering, that something wasn’t right. She put her tools of yoga and meditation to work and really decided to dive into the deep exploration of self inquiry. Now she is influencing her followers on IG to live a truly free spirited life, FREE of SPIRITS, alcohol free. Lindsey will be gracing the yoga class room and her coworker for years to come with her laid back vibe by guiding them thought the deep embodiment practice of yoga and meditation. Linsey thank you for gracing us with your presence! You are a shining light.
Check out Lindsey's Super fun IG @freeofspirits
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a life coach who ended a 20 year relationship with alcohol without labels, counting days, or ever making excuses. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to quitting alcohol that breaks all the rules, amazing stories from women who are throwing a better party because of it, and how you can stop drinking and start living. The show is not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. Please talk to a health professional if you're alcohol consumption is a risk to your mental and physical health. Now on with the show. Hello, my beautiful listeners. It's Mary Wagstaff, thank you so much for being here for another episode. As always, I hope this finds you well and warm. And I really hope that you are taking these amazing inspired embodied interviews and seeing what you can say yes to more often. And sometimes it's not so much the process of what we're getting rid of, but adding something to our lives, to start to believe into possibility to start to prove that yes, on the other side of alcohol, there is joy, there is pleasure, there is a way into the self. And so much of that is really a process as I always talk about about remembering. And I believe that human beings are born with the desire and the the birthright of embodiment of sensuality, of pleasure, I see it, you know, even with my little boy, I mean, all he wants to do is be in his body and play I remember from a very young age as a little girl exploring my own personal pleasure in many facets. And, you know, that idea has really been shamed out of us and become so taboo. And just like so many other conversations that we're starting to have, in the collective, I do believe pleasure and embodiment. And sensuality, and sexuality really needs to be one of those things. Because if we can't express ourselves innately, as we were born into these bodies, our you know, our, our birthright of feeling into emotion. And you know, even the state of sadness being a deep catharsis, and can be pleasurable, we move from it, and we go to what's socially acceptable. And, on the last interview, freedom, talked about this idea of the facade of alcohol feeling, looking like you think you're living in your fully alive, but you're not even really experiencing your senses at all, you're not even really feeling what's happening in the moment. So it just creates these layers and layers upon illusion and lies and beliefs. And you know, without shame happens to anyone with frequency and duration. We can go to look at the subconscious of how we got to where we are, but you have to start with the process of questioning it and looking at it and choosing something different and you do have to be courageous to step into that place. So today's interview, this is amazing. Sweet Lindsay graves free of spirits, was one of the very first people before I ever recorded an episode that I reached out to I had started following her on Instagram. And since then, my Instagram days have changed. The account that I used to use is completely gone. So I do show up on there and I put some fun posts if you ever want to come find me on there. It's Mary Wagstaff coaching on Instagram. But she really inspired me because she I just loved her tagline, living a free spirited life by being alcohol free. So just she was really embracing that and you'll hear all about it. You know, she said, I always claimed myself to be this free spirit, but I was really taking the spirit out of my life. And she is a nurse and a mindful mindfulness and yoga teacher. We talk all about that we there's some amazing conversations about really the health industry and How even in the health world. You know, alcohol is used as a coping mechanism. And it's really not talked about in the education piece. And, you know, it's there's just so there's just so many layers of all of the ways that alcohol is accepted into our society making it so challenging and that courageous piece to step forward and say, No, it's not okay. It's not right. It's not the way to live a fulfilled life by choosing to be half alive, because my full sense is, in my full experience, it isn't even embodied. And without shame, of course, but it's there's just this facade that we've been sold. And as I spoke about before, we aren't shaming or blaming or taking down the alcohol industry, because we've got our own work to do, because they can do what they need to do. And we do the work to throw a better party on the other side. So I've been sharing some of my pillars of change and truth that I use in my one on one coaching sessions. And the present moment is one of them. Anyone who has studied spirituality, and mindfulness knows that the present moment is the place where we hold all of our power, because it's the only time that truly exists, the past has been and the future is unknown. So it's from this place right here, right now, where you are, where this point is, that we can either pivot to the past of that familiar subconscious loop that we live on, 90% of our thoughts just come over and over and over again. And until we interrupt them, we can't pivot into a future of possibilities, where we're responding to life rather than reacting. And so part of the five essential shifts to start controlling alcohol and to change your relationship with alcohol, is this seeing this pivot point, seeing the subconscious patterning and choosing to be honest with yourself and stepping in that into that courageous piece to saying, Oh, yeah, that thought is subjective. It's not actually fact, it's based on my limited perspective of my life leading up to this point. So that's one of the pillars that we really work with. And it's just the most powerful piece of it. And then from that place, the present moment holds all of these gifts where we're not even striving for the next thing, where we start to expand the awareness in the moment that the moment itself becomes the gift, the moment itself holds all of the power of that which you seek outside of yourself that fulfillment, that pleasure, that desire is inside of this moment right now. And so all you really have to do and you can do it right now is sit back, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath and really scan the space around, you tune into the senses. And find that right now, in this moment. Everything is okay. In this moment. Everything is okay. So then you give yourself permission to make worry and stress optional. And that is one of the biggest pieces that we come up to resistance against because we've spent so much of our time and so much of our energy in optional worry in optional stress in optional buisiness in optional to do lists that now what now we're face to face with who we are. And so you can choose to take that as an opportunity to go deeper and dive into like holy crap, there is like an entire world that I'm missing out on because I'm spending all of my time worried about what other people are doing, and worried about the unknown future or I can live I can just simply live. Enjoy this amazing, amazing episode, check out all of Lindsay's work. She's an amazing I Instagram. And I will leave a link to my scheduling app in the show notes. So that as you decide you're really ready to just see what's possible on the other side of it. We don't taking your last sip is not the first step starting to recognize the subconscious patterning in your brain. And realizing that these aren't truths that are that are yours anymore. They're just imprints of the past. That's the first step and getting the support of someone else to help you navigate those waters is really so so crucial. I hope you're doing amazing. I hope you're enjoying this beautiful day. Have a wonderful, wonderful week. Talk to you guys next week. Bye. Welcome back to the show my beautiful listeners, thank you so much for being here for another episode. And I am just thrilled. This has been a long time in the making, to have an interview with this beautiful woman who I am meeting for the first time outside of the spaces of the interweb. And so I just wanted to welcome Lindsay graves to the show. Lindsay, thank you so much for being here. Yes, I'm so so grateful to be here. Mary, I appreciate you having me. It's an honor. Yeah, it's awesome to see you in person. It's so it's like you get just this, like small sense of people, you know, on social, but then seeing someone and is like, you know, and their energy is a totally different experience. So, um, yeah, I just like to start out by having you tell our guests a little bit about yourself and what you're up to most days. And, you know, I started following you because of your of your Instagram. And you're, you know, sharing your message of your sober living and your alcohol free living. So, but yeah, let us know what you're up to. Yeah. Um, so I'm Lindsey. And I have been, I was actually pretty busy. The last four months, I was undergoing a yoga teacher training, it was a 200 hour yoga certification. And I finished that at the end of May, May 31, to be exact. So I am officially a yoga teacher. And it's just been such a treat, and something I've always aspired to do. So it's really great, just kind of seeing that come full circle, and to like, finally manifest that in my life, and to be able to offer such a beautiful service to others. And what else so I'm a nurse, I'm a pediatric nurse, and I work in a hospital. So I have been pretty busy with, you know, being at work and with COVID. And you know, everything that's kind of going on. So of course, work has been keeping me busy. I really wish I could work online right now. But that's just not the type of work that I do. And that's okay, I'm really grateful that I'm able to be of service to others, especially in the healthcare field. And what else I just actually finished moving into a really beautiful space that I find was kind of meant to be. So that has been keeping me busy. So as of now, I am starting to work on building a website, and also trying to build a yoga business and just really honing into the mind, body spirit and just offering holistic health to others. And I'm also a plant lady. So a lot of times I spend my days watering my plants and just watching them flourish. And yeah, I'm kind of kind of simple. And I love that so much do you think that you'll do and congratulations, yoga teacher training really is like one of the best gifts you can give to yourself too, because it's such a deep dive into into the self. Right? Yeah. Um, do you will you plan on incorporating that into some of the health work that you're doing as well? Do you think I actually would like to i, the certification also had a little bit of a meditation component to it. And I really, I love meditation. Meditation was actually what led me to start my free of spirit page. And I would love to incorporate meditation to not only patients and their families, but also to my health, like to my colleagues, Mm hmm. I would love to kind of incorporate that and even offering yoga to physicians and nurses and pharmacists, whoever's whoever wants it. That's amazing. And I definitely want to get to that because, you know, one of the big components of the work that I do with my clients is we just start through observation, right? We start to watch the process of our relationship with alcohol and, and from a different perspective. And so just simply simply being as part of the process, and so I'm really curious about how that showed up for you. And we'll definitely get to that. So I wanted to just since we're here to talk about your relationship with alcohol, do you want to just take us back on a little journey of kind of when alcohol first showed up in your life and what that looked like? Yeah, absolutely. I was, I want to say I was 16 years old. And I was with my cousins. And it was I remember, we went out one night and I remember having a drink and little did I know that I was going to be hooked after that. That first step. And after I took that first step, I wasn't drinking a lot, I was a teenager, I, you know, I was pretty, I was a swimmer. And I was pretty active in sports and, you know, academics, I really didn't have the time to go to parties. But once I turned 1718, I started drinking more heavily as in a party's, I was, you know, kind of seeking it out, I was always this awkward girl growing up, I always was like, I was teased, I was made fun of I was picked on. And when I would drink, I would just feel that competence, quote, unquote, emerge. And I wouldn't feel like this little, you know, girl who was picked on and teased, I was kind of like the life of the party. So once I got to college, I that's when my drinking really spiraled, you know, a lot of college kids you drink, and you party and I was a student athlete. So I was, you know, amongst a lot of other athletes, and we would drink on the weekends, and even the weekdays. And so, fast forward, I'm, like, I was in nursing, I got I was in, I transitioned to nursing school, and I find that so my drinking also really escalated. During that time, just because of the stress of finals. And studying and after tests, you know, our, the thing that we would do it, we would go out and drink and, and get heavily, heavily intoxicated. And so it was kind of like this off and on journey throughout my 20s, where alcohol just really kind of hooked me in and just made me feel like I was this confidence person, I struggled with social anxiety. So I used alcohol to kind of help with my social anxiety. And it was starting to really affect my relationships, I find, as I got older, I started noticing that alcohol was affecting me differently. In a sense, where I would become emotional, I would get angry. My intimate relationships also suffer, excuse me suffered when I was drinking. And yeah, that's kind of kind of my journey. I grew up my both of my, both sides of my family are also heavy drinkers, originally from New Orleans. So that's kind of what what we do. So even when I would go home to family functions, and I was drinking age, you know, that's what I would look forward to on for holidays and parties. And it was like my world, it almost became that in a way where I needed alcohol to feel like I could socialize. Mm hmm. If I didn't have that alcohol, it was I was just awkward. I was I felt weird, it felt strange. And it probably like when I when I stopped drinking, like around 27 through like 2008, I would say my drinking escalated a lot because I was a travel nurse at the time. And I was, you know, getting out of relationship. But then I got into another relationship that was causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. And that's when I noticed my drinking really started to spiral. Mm hmm. And I remember one morning I actually woke up. And I was craving alcohol. And I was like, wow, you know, this is this is interesting. And I kind of pushed aside and it was like, Well, you know, you come home from work, and you can have your drink. But I remember waking up craving, like my body wanted alcohol. And that was kind of the first time that's ever happened to me. And it kind of freaked me out a little bit, huh. Yeah. So what happened at that point was, were you I mean, you were saying you had noticed some shifts in your relationships and being emotional. And what I like to kind of say is that you're solving for problems that you don't even really realize you have, because it seems normal, right? Like the socializing part of it. It's like, it really is kind of a problem to not be able to just be social without drinking, but we think it's normal. So it's not until like on the other side of it, you're like, Oh, no, I need to relearn how to do this. Um, so yeah, so what so you Was that something that became a trend was that you were having more cravings for alcohol when you decided that this was not exactly how you wanted your life to look? Yeah. And I wouldn't say like, there was times where I would go a few weeks without even drinking. I noticed that whenever I would drink. I would kind of just, I would I was a binge drinker. You know, how to stop. But yeah, there was a moment where I reflected on that, and I knew it was starting to become a problem. Where I felt like if something didn't change, I would keep reliving these the same habits and patterns. And I remember, it was like, it was December 16 17th. Morning, December 17, my boyfriend and I, at the time got into a really bad fight. And I had been i'd heavily drink that night. And I told him, I was like, Okay, I only have two because there was a pattern where we would keep where we get in fights after I would drink heavily. Mm hmm. And that was kind of the pattern that kind of pursued in previous relationships. So I remember waking up December 17. got into a fight. And you know, my ex, he's like, Lindsay, I think you I think you may need to give up alcohol, or stop drinking for a little bit. And of course, I played the victim and like, no, no. And I remember waking up December 18. And I told myself, okay, something told me, Lindsay, if you keep doing this, you're just going to be, it's going to be the same story. Something needs to change. So I told myself, I was going to stop drinking for a month. And then here I am, I think 573 days later with. Amazing. Yeah. So tell us about that month and what that process looked like. And then what made you just not go back? Yeah, so the month was hard. And it was, it was kind of just something I was like, nice, nice. I'm gonna do something, I stick to it. And I do it. I follow through. So that month, I think it was like two weeks in, I noticed I'm starting to have more energy. There was another thing, Mary whenever I was drinking, like, during like my late 20s, I noticed I was always so fatigued. It was to the point where I had to drink tons of caffeine during the day it was it was just energetically, I just wasn't, I just knew something was off. So during that month period, I noticed like random two to three week mark, some of that fatigue started melting away, and I started having more energy. And I also struggled with anxiety. And I noticed my anxiety kind of melted away. And I was like, wow, this is really nice. I was like, two months, I was like, Okay, I'll do two months. And the shift for me was actually during that month, I went to a house party on New Year's Eve. And of course, every New Year's Eve, you know, drink, you party. That's just what you do, or what I would do. And I went to this new year's eve party, and I had a great time without alcohol. And that was the shift for me that I needed. Like, wow, I had a really great time. My boyfriend and I didn't get into a fight. I was still confident and I had fun. I remember the night I go to work the next morning. And that's what kind of led to that shift for me where I wanted to keep going. Yeah, amazing. Yeah. And it's like, you just don't know until you prove it to yourself. You know, where do you remember being nervous going into that situation? Oh, my gosh, yes. I honestly didn't want to go because in my in my mind before, like, all day, I was thinking it was like, maybe I don't go home and go do go because I thought you know, you can't go to this and have a good time. Like, how can you go to a party and not drink? So weird. So I kind of grappled this my mind all day. And finally I said, You know what, I'm just gonna go I put on a cute outfit. And I was like, oh, wow, like, okay, like, I feel really cute. Maybe I will go and I went. And but it was hard. It was hard going. I really had to like push myself to go for sure. Yeah, absolutely. I love that though. It's like you have to just make it about something else. And then you realize that all of the other components that you love about the party are still the same. It's just that the alcohol is not there. You know what I mean? Like, you still have good friends, you still have good music, you still have a cute dress, you still have a cute boyfriend, you know, like, you know, it's like until you kind of like realize what's happening that nothing else is really changing except in your head that like oh, yeah, I can do this without alcohol. So that's amazing. Thank you. Yeah, do you How long do you think it was? I mean, it sounds like you had a shift pretty quickly. And I i those stories are so amazing. It sounds like you kind of had a you know what I say is a calling from your higher self answer and you answered the call, which is beautiful. When do you think that it was kind of like where you're like I'm never going back and you know where I just started to feel like no, this is this is the life for me. I would say probably Around month, seven leading into month eight. Mm hmm. Um, because when I, I kept going with the journey like, okay, like, I'll give it three months and then four months, I won't drink. And then finally I told myself, okay, I'll give it a year. And I remember like months six, seven, I told us like, okay, yeah, I'm definitely going to go back to drinking after the year mark. But I and I didn't at this time, though. I didn't have any friends who were also alcohol free. So I felt so alone. And that's the reason why I was gonna go back to drinking so that way I could have those friends again and not feel so lonely. But I went to a meetup. It was a San Diego recovered a women's recovery meetup. And I went to that meetup. It was August 17. And after that meetup, I was like, wow, okay, like, I'm done. Just after hearing some of the girls stories, I found that I had, like, friends who were so we're it just like, it opened up my eyes and opened up my world to this to this new life where I said, Okay, you know, I have the support now. And it's true, like, okay, I don't need this alcohol. And I think I'm done. Like, I think alcohol is not serving me. Hmm. I can't go back. Beautiful. I love that. Yeah, I think that it's, it's so nice. And that's why I love doing these interviews, because it's just so supportive. Although, you know, it starts and ends with you, of course, it's an inner journey, but it just knowing that like, no, there's amazing people in the world, that it's not about deprivation, and you are thriving. I mean, look at all the stuff that you're doing, like, do you know, it's just awesome. Um, so what, what do you think? Do you have any current? Um, is there anything that still shows up for you that you feel like is challenging when it comes to alcohol? I would have to say, sometimes, like stressful, stressful events are can still be triggering for me sometimes. And I haven't been to a party in a while, just because with quarantine, COVID and everything. But a lot of times, like, that's a struggle for me just being around others who drink. Sometimes I kind of get that feeling like, Oh, I'm missing out. Mm hmm. And I'm recently, you know, went through a breakup. And it's my first alcohol free breakup. And that was hard, you know, just with all the transitions and the Black Lives Matter movement, and COVID and the breakup and move. I it was a lot for me to handle. And I did feel triggered at times, like, man, like if I just drink, you know, at least I could just numb this out for a little bit. So sometimes I do have those those moments where I feel triggered when I'm stressed. Sure. Yeah. What is your What do you tell yourself? What are what's your thought process? Like during that time? Yeah. That's a good question. I actually play the tape forward. Hmm. I love that. Yeah. And I think about it. And like, for instance, like the breakup, you know, I told myself, okay, like you can, you would drink, but then you wouldn't be able to reflect, and you wouldn't be able to process everything that's happening. And this is the best breakup for me I've ever gone through because I'm able to reflect, and I'm able to think about the things that I did wrong, and things that I like, now look for in my future person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. And had I returned to drinking, I know that I would have woken up the next morning, I would have felt bad because of the breakup, I would have felt bad, because who knows what I would have done. You know, I could have, you know, had a fling. And that would have made me feel more bad. Because like, I got a relationship and I just hooked up with this like, random person. Sorry, I'm talking about hooking up. I don't know how that feels. I don't know if this is like, this is why. Yeah, cuz it's like I was hooked up with this person. And then then you would have had more shame and more guilt. So Oh, well, yeah. So long story short, that's kind of what I do to help kind of, like, kind of resist those urges and that temptation to play take forward. And when I find other ways to cope, I dive into my toolbox, and that helps me a lot. Yes, I love that. I talk about that, too. I do I call a 24 hour fast forward. And it's just like, then you can just because the the triggers of the brain are just like this nostalgic feeling of that it'll fix something. But when you play it forward, you realize like, no, that's not going to fix any. It's not going to actually help in any way. Oh, And using your toolbox like it's such a, you know, we can conceptually know how to do breath work and how to you know, meditate, but until you actually use it, then you're like, wow, these actually work. So tell us a little bit about some of the tools that you do that you do like to use on a regular basis. Yeah, I, I have a pretty steadfast yoga and meditation practice. That helps me a lot. Just when I'm feeling stressed and anxious. I find that going, going to my mat really helps. I also, I love reflexology. So it's a pretty inexpensive Thai style massage. No, I do that. And then i cap it off with cold stone ice cream. Yeah. So that's just like my go to and some I don't do the reflexology all the time, because that adds up. But a lot of times, I'll go get my ice cream. I'll meditate. I'll do yoga, I'll tap into my friendships. Who are all you know, women who are also alcohol four years sober. And that's really helps me a lot. Yeah. And then also exercise like running and yeah, processing emotion, actually, through the body is I mean, like you were saying, the mind body spirit really, is how we, you know, make that connection. I wanted to kind of go back when you were talking a little bit about your family. And I because I know that this is a huge thing for so many people is socializing. And you found like some other groups of friends, but like, when you go home, and what was what was that like transitioning around your family? And some, you know, maybe even an old community when you go back home to visit? Yeah, I would say my, my parents were very supportive, like, me, like, that's great. Like, I couldn't do that. And initially, a lot of people especially like my brother, and even my, my mom, like Lindsay, did you have a drinking problem. And it was more so kind of shock. Because a lot of people, you know, they perceive me, especially on Instagram, social media, they perceive me as this holistic because I always portrayed myself and I was I was very active, and to my health and yoga and yoga meditation. And throughout the years, even though I was drinking, my health, in my mind, body spirit connection was still pretty important to me. So I think a lot of people were just confused as to why I stopped drinking. You know, like, Whoa, did you have an alcohol problem? And then, after a while, people, you know, like, my family started to understand and they started to to get it, but it was hard in the beginning, because initially, a lot of people, you know, family members would ask, Well, were you an alcoholic? Or you really didn't, it's okay to have a few beers. I mean, I like, you know, what's the big deal? You know, and so it was kind of a little bit of pushback there. But now, when I go home, you know, my mom has her alcohol free wine. And I've inspired I think, I feel like I've inspired my family. A lot. Yeah, that's amazing. So what did you What was your response to them? It was more. So initially, I was a little shame, like shameful about it. And I didn't have a drinking problem. I just kind of wanted to give up, do not do it for a month, and just see what happens. And I feel so good. But really, truthfully, I wouldn't say I was the quote unquote, like alcoholic and there's nothing wrong. Even labeling yourself as that, you know, I don't want that to be like a taboo word. But I will say I did have a drinking problem, per se, because I would drink heavily and then it would lead to other issues. I remember, one time I drove home, this is my early 20s. And I don't even remember driving home on the highway, and I could have killed somebody. And there's all these little things that happen where it's like, okay, I don't drink every day, but alcohol is affecting me and it is problematic for me. Yeah. So after I kind of got over that shame that you know, that that sense of pride, I opened up to my family, and I told them certain ways how alcohol affected me and I felt like it was a problem. And I kind of related it back to, you know, our family history and, you know, things that I saw growing up and things I how alcohol affected me and affected our household. So yeah, I definitely found that power to finally open up and become more real. Yeah, beautiful. I love that. And I just love your story too, because there's no right or wrong way to change your relationship to others. All and it's just really what I want to impress upon our listeners is there's no, you know, one size fits all. And sometimes like without excuses, and I love, you know, you're going into it say, you know, I just wanted to check it out. And then once you kind of got your own confidence and personally back and you're strengthen the alcohol was out of your system and you could really stand on, you know that strong ground knowing that your life was definitely better without it, then you could kind of go in and then be the inspiration. And I find that so true is like, without judgment for anyone else, you're just like, here I am. And this is how my life's changed. And now you're inspiring your family and you know, your followers. And I just think that that's, that's so awesome. And you know, not having to like count days or like you said, label yourself or any of that. It's just like, this is me, this is what I want. This is what I don't want. But I wanted to ask you a little bit about both kind of nursing and you're in like the wellness world, because i and this is maybe why and it was following you at first because I too lived a parallel life of yoga and drinking for many, many years as a practitioner and as like a huge advocate. I mean, I believe in that. In that science and that practice. It's changed my life in so many ways. Was alcohol, something that they taught it like you guys talked about in nursing school at all, or like, and then also even in your yoga journey, like, as you were drinking and nert? Like, you know, studying nursing and also studying yoga. Was that something that you ever felt like in conflict with? I'm just curious about that? Yeah, that's a good question. We, you know, to be honest, in nursing school, we never talked about alcohol. When I look back on it, we never had, excuse me and curriculum on, you know, alcohol. I mean, we I think we talked a little bit about psych nursing, and you always see like smoking, smoking, smoking is bad. But no one ever talks about alcohol, because it's so ingrained in our culture, and no one wants to talk about that. Mm hmm. Um, so one to answer your question, or since was not something really talked about. And I'm trying to think especially So, whenever I first started yoga about practicing, about seven years ago, I was still drinking, but I honestly didn't even think I wasn't even. I wasn't even aware of what alcohol wasn't doing doing to me, in a way when I was so in my early 20s, in a way, alcohol was like, my, my, like, best friend, no, I didn't even think about it that way. You know, it's, I was like, Oh, I'm doing yoga, and I feel so great. And I feel so, like, so relaxed. And so let me cap it off with some wine, right? Better. wine, alcohol is your friend. You know, like, that's how you see it, it makes you more relaxed and more at ease. And so I never really thought about it in that sense, until I maybe got like, mid 20s when alcohol started affecting me differently, and I was a little bit more ingrained or rooted and more rooted in my yoga practice, I it just didn't feel in alignment with me right to, to drink after doing a yoga practice, practicing yoga. So I wasn't when I was a little bit more rooted in my practice, I really wasn't drinking as much just because of that connection with mind body spirit, I wanted to feel good. I wanted to pour goodness in my body, I want to feed my body, you know, healthy food and nourish it. So I kind of strayed away a little bit, but now, excuse me, sorry. But now going, looking back on it, and actually going through my yoga, teacher training and not drinking, I find that I'm more in tune. Where I'm more connected with like, the divine. And yeah, I'm, it's, I don't know, I'm kind of going on a tangent. No, I asked you kind of around a couple round about questions. And it's, you know, it's only because, you know, nursing and yoga, both being you know, health fields. Just it's so fascinating to me to how there is so much left out of, you know, the medical field, even even when it comes to nutrition and the things that we put into our body. It's like they're like, yeah, like they're just like separate things when we know that it's really a holistic thing, but like saying, you know, it's so ingrained in our culture, and no one wants to talk about it. It's just fascinating. Do you think oh, sorry, I wanted to I'm so sorry to interrupt. I didn't seem part like actually working in the field. Nursing. Is that okay? If I touch on that real quick? Yeah, please. Yeah, just and also like, so actually being a nurse, um, alcohol is used so heavily in the medical field. And a lot of nurses and doctors and you know, you have a stressful day, it's so normal to say, Oh my gosh, like, I need to have a drink. I was so stressed, like, this day was horrible. Like, I need to just, I can't wait to go like have a bottle of wine. And it's really interesting because that we're healthcare providers, and we're supposed to be offering health and, and healing. And then we're like, giving so much of ourselves to other people and like helping them but then we go home, and we treat our bodies like crap, basically filling it with toxins, and then we do it the next day. And it's just like, there definitely is this contra contraindication. There. So I did want to touch on that, like, alcohol is definitely used heavily in the healthcare field, for sure. Yeah. And I think I mean, it would be so awesome to implement some programs where people do have alternative tools. You know, and it's like, a lot of times, conceptually, we know about these things. Like, I'm sure there's probably doctors and nurses that do practice yoga, but it's like, it's the separation. It's like, you know, I'm on the mat in the morning, and I do my exercise in the morning, then I go to work. And then at night, I have wine, but instead of like, what about just like using that practice, you know, instead of the line and it's like, it's that slowing down piece? Do you would you do you think at all and I'm just curious about this, that because I do believe that Yoga is an evolutionary science that it no matter where you start it and how you start it, if you keep practicing, it does evolve inside of you. And it sounds like that happened to you? Would you say that that was a piece that supported your like awakening or that that lit hearing that kind of calling home of your higher self? That the practice of yoga helps support that in your alcohol free journey? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And in the beginning, I, my focus was just not I just was not to drink, you know, now, I kind of put in my yoga practice was on and off for the last seven years. And then finally, I decided to like step back on my man within, I think like month five or six of being alcohol free. And yeah, it just felt like I just felt so aligned, it all made sense, I would come home after a stressful day and get on my mat, and meditate. And, you know, it was it was like, I stopped doing the practice because I was drinking so heavily and I wasn't aligned. And so as soon as I was became alcohol free and got back on my mat, it was like, my journey was unfolded to me, and so aware, Mary, and so in tune. And I just I do feel like I'm undergoing this, like spiritual awakening. And I think it's all because I've tapped back into my divine, into my breath into my meditation and yoga practice, and I don't do it every day, just with the move. I it's just been kind of busy. But when I don't do it, I can tell Yeah, now that I'm done with the move, I'm, you know, practicing more regularly now. And it's just like, all these little nudges from the universe have just, like, unfolded. And now I don't have anything obscuring that, like, like alcohol, you know, obscuring all of those, those thoughts. I'm so aware and so aligned in every way. Yeah, beautiful. I just I kind of got chills thinking about that. Because, you know, regardless of your on your mat or not, it's really a like, a lifestyle, you know, in the way that you observe the world and observe yourself and your thoughts and, you know, not judging people. And you know, just all the ways in which we engage in the world. And I always just think every day, I'm so grateful for my practice, because it's this tool that I don't need a tool bag for, I just can carry it with me. And it's just there and like, Wherever I am, I can tap into it. And it is, it is the bend the best key to my life. And so I'm just so glad that it's unfolding for you because it does and it's like this gift that keeps on giving like it just keeps getting better, right. I love it. Oh, yeah. And it's so exciting, especially when you get to share it with people and then they're they start opening up their heart to and it's really just like the pathway to life more filled with love, you know, is the way that I see it. Um, so what do you think you what is a belief that you had and you probably talked about this, but what is a really strong belief that you had when you were drinking that you just like would never have thought possible on the other side of it? Oh, yeah. Um Oh, there's a lot So I probably like confidence. Mm hmm. You know, I, I always thought that, you know, alcohol made me more confident and more bubbly and social. And had I'd never would have thought that me not drinking would have helped with my social anxiety, I would be be more confident in have just been more secure in myself, or more secure with myself per se. You know, I was so insecure and alcohol was kind of like my, quote unquote saving grace. Mm hmm. And I didn't know that giving all of that up would help with all the things I was trying to fix with alcohol. I hear that a lot too. And it's almost like, like, you kind of have to go through it to come out on the other side to see like, no way. I'm like, I'm way better without that. So yeah, how do you? How do you show up differently? Like at social events? Now? What is what are some of the tools you use when you go out? Yeah, I show up with, you know, confidence. Now that I've been to a lot of different experiences and events without alcohol, I show up confident. I'm like happy I'm not in my head as much. I'm not insecure about every little thing. I grab my tonic water or my like special drink, you know, of course non alcoholic. And I feel like I show up as an inspiration. People will observe me, and they'll know that I people know now that I don't drink and then they'll see me, you know, dancing on the dance floor and having a good time. And then I always I show up, and I find that I feel like I'm an inspiration. That's awesome. Yeah, I was just thinking about this just like the like, instead of feeling shameful, like being being proud of who you are, you know that you can show up in that way. And that's so awesome. I just love like, I can see you out there, your sparkling sparkles on? And I think that this kind of leads into my next question is, for me, I found and I because I work exclusively with women and that's who has been on the show. But is that really the the Divine Feminine essence has this opportunity to unfold and blossom in this new way. And that's kind of like the picture that I got of you is like your, you know, your beautiful feminine essence coming out who needs no AIDS? Who needs no crutches like just know, what has been your experience with with the Divine Feminine? Since You've Been alcohol free? Or having it kind of show up and expose to you? Yeah, whoo, I can think about this, like, in multiple ways, I find like the divine feminine, like, the minute femininity. I guess that's the word I want to use. Um, yeah, I just find that I'm just more I embrace myself more, I guess, like, I just have this like, confidence about me that I I didn't have before. And I love being a woman. And I feel like whenever I'm just flowing on my mat, I just feel like sexy and empowered. And I find that I use my voice more. I tapped into my, you know, feminine or feminine friendships. And I find that since going alcohol free, honestly. So like I never I always wanted and this is kind of going into like friendships, but I always wanted girlfriends that I could be like I wanted more like my friendships, friendships where I didn't just go out and party with I want it to be able to connect, and relate in talk. And I feel like the universe now that I'm not out nothing, I'm not drinking, the universe finally gave me what I was looking for, you know, and it was like now, like, I'm able to have these beautiful friendships that allow me to, to be my divine and to, to really just be an inspiration and just to show up, you know, my best self and, you know, just you all these creative things like my friends like write books, and you know, they have blogs and they just doing all these wonderful things. And I feel like the divine, you know, feminism has just really, like, I've tapped into that a lot more now that I'm not drinking. I feel like I don't know if all that made sense. I feel like Yeah, absolutely. I think I mean the alignment piece is so huge is you know, you can't be in alignment when they're when you're when your senses are being dulled, and you're not You're not conscious, like you can't be fully present and aware. And so how can you be in alignment with the truth of who you are. And I think that's so awesome. And I found this personally in myself too, you know, the, the shift of feminine relationships is so much different and feel so much more nurturing. And, and you know, that the idea of like, kind of a sacred sisterhood, you know, just being able to be who you are without any pretense. So, yeah, I think that that's amazing. I did what I had wanted to ask you, and we talked about briefly before, what was your and you said, you know, about coming from a drinking family and, and growing up in New Orleans? And I can only imagine that it was very prevalent there. But did you have exposure to what support looked like? Because it sounds like you are just really, you know, kind of did it on your own? And you said, you went to that one meetup. But when you had decided to not drink? Did you? Did you feel like that there was a support available to you? Or did that seem like it was kind of a taboo thing? It seemed like a taboo thing to me. You know, I honestly didn't. When I stopped drinking, I didn't. Like I said, I didn't go to a I, I didn't know that there was that there was a world out there full of community and connection and support. So, you know, I didn't really know anybody that was sober. So I kind of did it on my own. And I knew I could go to a, but I just, I just had so much pushback around it. You know, I didn't feel like I wanted to a so I mean, yeah, I kind of really the support I had was people from like afar, like who's still drinking? Like, yeah, like, that's awesome. I keep going. But as they're like checking their drink, they're wanting me on my neck. So yeah, I like, I don't know if that answers your question. But um, I did a lot of reading. Yeah. I mean, I read alcohol lied to me by Craig back that helped me. I didn't even know about podcasts at that time, like, so I just did a lot of like googling on it. And I did read it. And I started to understand, you know, alcohol, and what it was doing to me, and I was curious, I want to fill myself up with knowledge as to why I started feeling better without alcohol, searching alcohol, anxiety, and then alcohol and depression, and an alcohol in, in, you know, like, domestic violence. And there's just so many things that I was like, Oh, my gosh, why is anyone talking about this? Right. I was like, why? And so, you know, that's that. And then when I went up to went to the meetup, you know, that's when all these other tools were made known to me, like podcasts and Instagram and all the fun. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. And I know that is the question, Why is no one talking about it, because in, you know, advertising, and then the media, it's like, it's sold to us as the best version of our life and it's gonna you know, we'll have this vacation, this like sexy vacation lifestyle, and then ends up being the opposite of that. And like stealing actually, the gifts of like, a sexy vacation away from you. This is not like after you wake up, like all the time. Like, it's never sexy, and like your makeups running, like, stumbling. I'm like, I was not cute when I was drunk. And I was like, oh, maybe that's why I never like found like, my lifelong partner when I was like, drunk. Yeah, I just had a friend say to me, she was like, you know, it's like, just, she's like, the way that I want to her tools was she just thinks, sloppy, she's like, you could have one, maybe everything after that is just kind of sloppy, like your whole life. And she's like, I just don't want to be that I want to be graceful and sexy. And I just, I kind of want to do a whole episode on that. It's like, you have to think about really like, the image of, of what the effects of alcohol are. And they are just kind of sloppy, and it's not. And it's not what you see in the commercials. It's not like, the girls in the little bikinis, like holding the corona lights, like, a good time, but it's like, it's more like falling over and stumbling and, and not being graceful and sexy. And yeah, I love that you said that like, or that she mentioned that like, graceful and just so like, sexy, and I just like I just move when I say what makes me feel like and I see like I've seen like your videos and I'm like, ooh, like you just are so like, beautiful and just like so. in tune and I that's like, what alcohol does for me. Yeah, what not, I'm sorry, not alcohol, but like that's what not drinking does for me. Right? Yeah, it's so funny because and really, and that's one of the biggest, the hardest things to wrap your mind around in the beginning of the process is you think that it does that. But it doesn't it like the brain is so hardwired to want to get that pleasure response that it will trick you into thinking you are that graceful like sexy hula hoop dancer, what is the complete opposite of that? And, yeah, it just takes the belief that on the other side of it, you know, things are going to be better. And then you just have to have to prove it to yourself. And I'm just so proud of you for doing the work. And being a sexy, embodied yoga teacher. Now. It's so exciting. And I, I hope that I'm just so thrilled that there is, you know, there are people that have to pave the way like you and showing up and you know, just kind of unapologetically like, this is the better version of my life that I want to live in now that especially more women that are going out into the world and saying, Oh, no, this is this is a better way. And this is possible. Not better way. But it's a better version of life, right? And without judgment, that now more people can be exposed to it. Because otherwise you're you know, you have so much shame and isolation from drinking, and then you can't seek to find support. So you're kind of like hiding in the corner. And that's why I knew I had been coaching but when I kind of like nailed it, and I figured out like this, you know, when I knew I had some answers around shifting your mindset around alcohol free life, like I just knew that that was the direction I had to take my coaching and because there wasn't, you know, there's not a lot of support around it. And so I just it's so exciting to know that it's out there and you're sharing that message and so, um, what do you what would you say is your big why like your unflinching? Why for keeping keeping going on this path of a free alcohol free life? Yeah, I would say it goes back into my like, handle and like my, what I believe about myself about being this free spirit. And my huge why to to keeping up this journey is I'm able to live this like free spirited life by being free of alcohol. And that's like my huge why, you know, like, I'm finally free again. I'm actually more free now than I was when I was drinking. And I always have this free spirit tattoo. And I've always deep like coined myself as this free spirit. I thought alcohol was what I needed to be this free spirit. And now I'm realizing that I'm a more of a free spirit without alcohol. And my light shines so bright now. I'm just more in tuned, more aware, more productive. Oh, yeah, I just, that's why that's one reason why I love Yeah, I love that and so many people, because they'd have that conflicting thoughts in their brain of like, oh, it makes it creates freedom in my life. But at the same time, it's actually what's keeping me in shackles, you know? And until you prove it to yourself, you don't know, Lindsey to wrap up, if you had any piece of advice for anyone that's listening today that's starting their alcohol free journey or had that calling of their higher self to say, if you keep going on this road, you know, things are probably going to be the same what would what piece of advice would you give to someone starting out on this journey? I would tell them, it's very, it can be very hard at first. But honestly, it's a beautiful experience. It can be messy, it, you feel all the feels, but it's so worth it. And it's it's just a beautiful, there's a beautiful life on the other side. And you know, you really don't need alcohol to to fix things. You know, you have the power and the capability to to handle it without a substance that hinders you and hinders your growth and your spirit, and your health and your wellness and, you know, you can do this, I'm rooting for you. And, you know, it's so worth it. I promise it's worth it. Yeah, and you are proving that to yourself over and over again. I mean, from all the stuff you talked about, you know, all these big transitions that you've had in your life and that you you know the that the world has had. It's like your capacity to handle that to handle stressors and change grows because you're not relying on an external tool like you Have to find it inside. So within yourself. Yeah. Beautiful. Lindsay, thank you so much for everything that you offered to our audience today. Is there anything else that you want to say? Um, no, not really. Maybe just thank you for listening. And thank you so much for having me, Mary, and thank you for all of the work that you do and that you're doing. And it's just amazing and keep it up. And I just feel so delighted to finally met you. And, you know, to have had this chat. I love talking about being free spirited. As Yes. And Lindsey tell us, that's what I wanted to ask you tell us where we can find you and where we'll be able to find more about your yoga journey and all of that stuff. Yeah, so as of now, you can find me on Instagram at free of spirits and then underscore so free of spirits underscore and I'm you know, hopefully and I'm in the works of curating a website and maybe even a Facebook support group. So as of now just go to my Instagram, and stay tuned for recent, our, you know, upcoming events, and maybe even a support group. And yeah, so yeah, that's so awesome. And I will put all of that in our show notes. And, you know, who knows, maybe in the future after, after we can all be together again, we'll have you can have a gathering of, of the yoga minds, the alcohol free yoga minds would be so awesome. Yes, I would actually really love that. That'd be Yeah, it will be awesome. Lindsey, thank you so much for being here. Have an awesome day. Mary, thank you so much. The process of unraveling your story outside of the confines of alcohol is truly a sacred and beautiful journey of the South. rediscover who you are in a whole new world again. Stop by my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com, to get instant access to the on demand workshop of my revolutionary five shifts approach. And while you're there, you can sign up for a one on one consultation, where we will create together your life intention. This is the framework for which all of your decisions around alcohol are made from your truest and highest self. In addition to working remotely worldwide. I host private one healing retreats at my sanctuary in Mount Hood for again, I can't wait to connect