Today we pose the question: What do you really want your relationship with alcohol to look like and why? It's good to start with a question to start to understand the process of what you want. I review the 5 shifts to getting alcohol out of your way that I teach my clients.
I also give you the recipe to my favorite holiday elixir also.
For Podcast Inquiries: mary@marywagstaffcoach.com
Schedule your Free Alignment session with Mary HERE!
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Today we pose the question: What do you really want your relationship with alcohol to look like and why? It's good to start with a question to start to understand the process of what you want. I review the 5 shifts to getting alcohol out of your way that I teach my clients.
I also give you the recipe to my favorite holiday elixir also.
For Podcast Inquiries: mary@marywagstaffcoach.com
Schedule your Free Alignment session with Mary HERE!
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship with alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools that make not drinking fun and easy, and the profound and sacred journey than it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. It's time to answer the calling of the woman who is ready to be fully embodied, to stop drinking and start living. The show is not a substitution for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. So please talk to a medical professional if your alcohol consumption is at risk to your mental or physical health. Now on with the show. Good morning, my beautiful listeners. It's Mary Wagstaff. It's Monday morning, I have to say it is kind of fun recording in live time because I feel a little bit like I have a radio show. I hope you're feeling well. This Monday morning, and you are looking forward to a new week with new possibilities and a new day. Every moment is a new opportunity to decide something different. One of my favorite thoughts is it's not too late to turn this around. So you know, if I have been kind of off my schedule, or procrastinating a little bit not sticking to the task at hand, I can always just pause, stop and say okay, what kind of time do I have left in the day? What do I really want to accomplish? What's the most important thing for me and just turn this around. So wherever you are, know that you have that opportunity also, today, I just wanted to pop on briefly and talk about not wanting alcohol. So what I've noticed through my own history with alcohol and through coaching, a diversity of women is that you really have to get clear about what kind of relationship you want with alcohol, or at least start exploring the idea. Because it can come in many shapes and forms. But what you want your result to be with alcohol is really where your beliefs will be settled. So for me, when I finally started to dive deeper, and really look at my relationship with alcohol, drinking, or not drinking, from this place of curiosity, and from this place of the observer, I really truly wanted to no longer want it. I wanted the desire of alcohol to be gone. Now whether or not I was fully convinced of my belief yet that I had completely one my belief that life was going to be better than I could ever have imagined. I probably wasn't quite there at the beginning, but I knew whatever it was, was going to be better than the pain. And the daily mind drama that was was happening for me at that point, I was just at this point where I had really, really wanted it to not be in my life anymore. I saw myself in a completely new vision, I was ready to get on with my goals that I had put off for too long. And my life had presented me with the opportunity to really shift gears, and it needed to go It was in my way, not just because of the way that it was physically making me feel. But it was taking up so much of my time. Now there's people that start this journey that, you know, it's like, can't I still drink in moderation and you're really holding on to that, you know that you think that if you stop drinking altogether, that your life will be full of deprivation and it won't be amazing and that you'll always want to, you'll always want to drink. And that was something I thought Also, before I started doing the work of the five shifts that I teach my clients was I thought that there would always be this lingering there of wanting to drink and I would have to To simply kind of bear with it. So at the beginning, you will have times where you are triggered to drink. This is called a habit, right? This is called your brain, doing the work that it's supposed to be doing, which is saving energy and being efficient, and receiving pleasure and avoiding pain. That is all that it's doing. And it's working totally normally. Now in the in your day to day life, it looks and feels much different. But that's all you need to know. And you need to know that's happening and just look at it from a different perspective. And then also, when you're asking yourself, what do I really want my relationship with alcohol to look like? If you still want to be able to partake and you, you desire to have alcohol in your life, but not creating pain? You have to really write down and look at what the facts are. Why do you still want alcohol in your life? Why would do you still want to alter your emotions, even in the slightest way? Even one drink does alter chemically, our brain? So without judgment without shame? inquiring? Why do I still want that? What will I be gaining from that? What will alcohol be showing me for my future that I haven't already experienced? Because my guess is Is that you, you kind of hit the the point in alcohol where you're you have experienced all the alcohol will ever be. And there's also this other piece of still thinking that alcohol holds some sort of solution or answers more than it does that you want it to be something that it never, ever, ever, ever will be. And the thing that you want it to be, is the thing that you need to become. That is the straight answer 100% for everyone, the thing that you're searching for an alcohol is the thing that you need to search for inside of you. And it is in there and she is ready, and she is waiting for you to just give her attention. Nothing needs to change. You don't need to make a big declaration. There are no rules, I'm here to tell you that you need to do you you can do this inside of your brain quietly without anyone even knowing that it's happening. So whatever other drama that you're thinking about me is going to take place because of your changing your relationship with alcohol. really put that on the back burner and deal with situations as they arise, I cannot emphasize this moment in time is the perfect opportunity to change your relationship with alcohol to really dive into no longer desiring it no longer wanting it in that is possible. And it can be possible in a relatively short amount of time. If you start the work you have to start. And that doesn't mean you have to stop drinking. But you have to start that process of of confronting the issue. Just being honest with yourself about it. No one else needs to know. compassion for yourself. Of course, you want to have a drink. You've been doing it for 30 years. Of course, there's a habit there. Just compassion for the fact that you created this really strong habit in your brain, you're totally normal. And then you dive into the curiosity, what is it that I really want and why and if I could have this in another way, what I choose to if I could relax at the end of the day without alcohol, what I choose to do that and you need to get really clear about all of these things. And then the commitment to showing up to figuring out no matter what this isn't a one and done. This isn't Monday morning, I'm not drinking and then Tuesday I do and then it's gone for two months. This is a commitment to dismantle your relationship to alcohol to really unravel it, how has it shown up in all these ways of your life, but because the outer world you know is different in it's kind of shut down now. And you can make any excuse you want if that helps you to not show up. I mean make all the excuses that you need to because this is going to benefit all of the people in your life in not because you know of the way that you're affecting them. But when you show up with more dedication to life, more vibrancy, more authenticity, being unapologetically who you are taking personal responsibility, you contribute to the world in such a different way. And you are already making huge contributions to the world, your unique self is important. And I know this, I know the value of unique expression and individual because I see it through my clients. And when they start to thrive in this new way, they're just glowing. And then they really honor the times that are darker, they honor the times when they're confused. And you know, because you don't have all of the kind of every day triggers. I mean, the holidays, New Year's, all of that's gonna look different now. Take advantage of that time, to not have that extra external, excuse, and objection. And to take that time to just like, chill out, you know, Christmas will still be able to be celebrated without a day's worth of mimosas, and, you know, hot toddies or whatever. Like, it's gonna be okay, and just go to bed early, like no, nothing bad is gonna happen. Because one Christmas, there's not a giant party and you're not, you know, and you're sober. So, or whatever you choose to have one drink and just watch it. Just simply watch it. What do I am I enjoying this? Do I even want this? What would my body really need right now? How else can I celebrate what this season really means of giving and receiving? of offering gratitude for abundance? Right? I mean, the holidays are, are not about just parties and getting drunk. There's about a celebration of life and family and connection. And it's really the drinking part that kind of avoids all of that honestly. And I mean, I can't remember countless countless Thanksgivings and Christmases where I woke up not feeling well, not even really fully remembering the evening. And you know, how much connection is that? Really, it's not. So take this opportunity, this extra time that you have, right? We're always saying we don't have enough time. There's so much extra time right now, to dive in to do the work for yourself. And dig deeper, what do you need for extra support and resilience? And so the invitation is for you to send me an email if there's anything that you want to hear more about on the show. And also to really schedule in time, honor your time to do this work and decide what kind of relationship you want with alcohol, there's no right or wrong answer. And really, once you move through the process, and this is just what happens naturally, when you start to be curious and grow your awareness around the habit that the desire for it naturally fades. Now some people hold on a little bit tighter to like one or two objections. It's like, no, but you know, it's really good for just this thing or like, you know, whatever it is, and that's totally normal. But you just start to see through the facade of all of it, that it's not necessary for any any of the objections that you have, that it's literally a beverage or a liquid in a glass that just sits there, it doesn't do anything that's completely neutral. And the only thing that's happening is what's changing in your brain. And now you might think, well, I can't be around my family for the holidays, or I can't do this or that. But you're by saying that you're strengthening the habit and you're really doing a disservice to what you are capable of. You can do anything of course you can be with your family during the holidays. What if you showed up with more curiosity about them and you just took the focus off of yourself altogether. You said you know what, this year I'm just going to inquire a little bit further cuz I'm sure there's something about these people that I just don't know. And one of my favorite things and I'm so excited about and I'll probably go get two dozen of them this week is I know this sounds a little crazy but is pot fresh pomegranate juice and I know you can buy pomegranate juice in a jar. Pre you know juiced but the pomegranate is a sacred fruit. it ripens and grows in this time of year in the winter in the dark. And it's so luscious. And it's so special, like, you just need a little bit, you know, an ounce of it. And it's, it has this earthy sweetness to it. And the pomegranate is represented in a lot of mythology, for different things, obviously, you break it open, and it's all these seeds. So it's kind of representative of fertility. So as a beautiful ritual, gather yourself some pomegranates, you kind of roll it out before you cut it open. And then you can just squeeze the liquid out and through a strainer, you just get your hands involved, and squeeze it and I like to add fresh rosemary, so I chopped that up, put that in a little cinnamon, and you can even, you can even kind of get like a mulling spice packet and simmer the pomegranate juice and drink it just like that or add it to tea, warm tea. I also like to use that little concoction as like a little spice beautiful holiday spritzer with some soda water and you put a little sprig of rosemary in there. And just all of those things, rosemary, is the herb of remembrance. And so when you smell that rosemary, let it invoke this, the sentiment of who you are remembering this idea of remembrance, is not about remembering the past, it's about remembering the depths of the woman that you are, without alcohol, this spark of creative consciousness, that gets to experience what it's like to be in this human body. And by adding alcohol to that you're missing out, there's so much we're missing out on when we add this kind of haze, this alteration to the magic that's already there. I mean, I can't think of anything that's more just abundantly perfect than life already itself. I mean, it's wild how it all works together. And I know you guys have heard me talk about this. But we think that the party when we're drinking, and I completely understand it, because I was there, I want you guys to remember I was there I had all these beliefs and all of these thoughts. And the fact that I don't feel that way at all anymore, is proof that it is possible for you to my clients are feeling the same way it is possible for anyone to change their relationship with alcohol, to no longer desire it. And to have a more joyful, fruitful life on the other side of it. Have an amazing day. And I am really excited about being here more often with you, I hope that you're enjoying it. And please email me I would love to talk to you and bring some of this to the table, of course 100%, confidential, confidential, and I'll leave my email again in the show notes, and also the link for you to get on the call with me, we'll do an alignment session to see kind of where you're at. And maybe you're just not sure, and you're in a ton of confusion. And that is also totally, totally normal. There's so many conflicting messages out there about alcohol. But that's the invitation is just to leave all of that, decide what you want. Because that's the only thing that's going to kind of make or break this process. And this transition isn't what other people think, isn't what the research says. It's you and your beliefs and your thoughts. And that's the only thing that you really need. And then you need to work through it day by day. And so that that's the other thing that you can do is ask yourself, really what am I waiting for? What is going to be any harm in just looking into this a little bit further from a new perspective. And let me tell you also that I know the reason a lot of people drink not only for celebration, but to cover up pain. When you stop kind of dwelling in the past or things that haven't worked and you shift the focus to you, you automatically start to regain your power and you start to rewrite the past. So I know that there's things that are hard and trauma and you know pain of just simply feeling like maybe you're not enough. But when you start to focus on something different and start to get curious about this work those things start to fade away because you're shifting your attention with a new intention. So kind of leave all of that that's been there. If you've done it. Now it's time for something new. Have a wonderful day. Talk to you soon. If you are loving this podcast and thinking about what it would take to start the process of getting alcohol out of your way, I want to invite you to check out my one on one coaching mentorship. It's your opportunity to apply these tools and a new framework to how you live your life. To get the results you want most to stop drinking without pain, to trust yourself again and honor your future from a place of possibility. It takes the guesswork out of the how it meets you where you are at in this moment. Together, we will walk through the threshold of the next phase of your life. Follow the link in the show notes to schedule a time to talk or on my website. Mary Wagstaff coach comm I can't wait to connect