In today's episode you hear me interview by Lyn and Erika Hicks of The Magical Holistic Healing Arts Podcast. We explore the natural discovery process of Womanhood and how to embrace our feminine essence as pleasure, purpose and privilege. The story of how I came to "answer the calling of the Goddess." From that point, alcohol was no longer a desirable option. The invitation of getting rid of alcohol isn't replacing it with another label, it's filling it with more of who you are that naturally wants to come through. It is a process of self discovery and deep, deep, commitment to the sprit of the self in your own unique and miraculous way. You are a gift and alcohol is dimming your light.
If you are ready for support NOW, with high level, 1:1 coaching. Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
In today's episode you hear me interview by Lyn and Erika Hicks of The Magical Holistic Healing Arts Podcast. We explore the natural discovery process of Womanhood and how to embrace our feminine essence as pleasure, purpose and privilege. The story of how I came to "answer the calling of the Goddess." From that point, alcohol was no longer a desirable option. The invitation of getting rid of alcohol isn't replacing it with another label, it's filling it with more of who you are that naturally wants to come through. It is a process of self discovery and deep, deep, commitment to the sprit of the self in your own unique and miraculous way. You are a gift and alcohol is dimming your light.
If you are ready for support NOW, with high level, 1:1 coaching. Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help women just like you from around the world do the same with my one on one private coaching program. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools that make not drinking exciting and joyful, and the profound and sacred journey that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. The show is not a substitution for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. So please talk to a medical professional if your alcohol consumption is at risk to your mental or physical health. Now on with the show. Hello, my beautiful listeners. Welcome back to another episode of stop drinking and start living. If you're new to the show. I know we have a ton of new listeners. Thank you so much for being here. It's so exciting. It is so freakin awesome to get feedback from your beautiful ladies about how you're showing up to really implement the tools that you're listening here on the show. So feel free to send me any requests about anything that you would like me to talk about. I'm happy to answer an anonymous question on the show Mary at Mary Wagstaff, Coach calm. And of course, I'm always available to Fern alignment session. So you can kind of see where your habitual thought patterning is really creating the negative emotions that are hindering you from taking the action to get the result that you want in life. In my program, we call it what flavor of tea Are you drinking? So tea, a thoughts, emotions and actions? And if we just say, what's the flavor of tea that I'm sipping on right now, it's a little reason I really like this. It's kind of cutesy and a little cheesy, but it is. I mean, it is the way that the brain works is that our thoughts generate vibrations is first of all, when you stop drinking alcohol, you end up like really enjoying tea more I know I do, because it's like it is a medicinal, right. And it's soothing. And it's comforting as this like really beautiful thing of self love. But is that the flavor is very specific, right? I mean, I kind of put thought the flavors into two bigger categories of fear based thoughts and love based thoughts. But there is a specific flavor. And you know, when you're thinking about your work, or your husband, or your children or your relationships, that they all have a different flavor. And it's really good. And it's a really beautiful process of getting to know yourself when you understand the different flavors of tea in which you create. So I'm just so glad you're here and again, reach out for any support. Today on the show. I'm going to be airing a podcast interview, I was interviewed on a show from a beautiful mother and daughter team Erica and Lynn Hicks on their podcast called the holistic magical healing arts. And so I was talking about my magical healing art, which you all know about, which is holistic alcohol coaching. And the reason that I really want to share this with you is so first of all, so you can get to know me a little bit better because I'm not out in the world on social media so much. And you can hear a little bit more about my story, but the story is very inspiring. It is about it kind of adds on to last week's about making decisions. It was about me stepping in to making new decisions. Not from Oh, I don't know, I don't want to I don't feel like it even that thought I don't feel like it. That is a thought. What kind of vibration does that generate for you? When you say that? What flavor of emotion? I don't feel like low can a lazy man kind of a myth, right? So instead of saying that I knew I want to change I knew I wanted to grow my business. I knew I needed to be a better example for my son. I wanted to be I knew alcohol needed to get the fuck out of the way. Pardon my French I don't swear I've been trying not to swear but I've been swearing I'm passionate. And you know, I said I declared it as a year of Yes. And I just got excited. And I know how to meet people I knew how to meet people without alcohol. That wasn't the problem. But it was that well I'm usually drinking you know and it's going to interrupt my drinking frankly is what the whole thing was. So I knew I needed to meet new people I knew I needed like just some more influence like to kind of shake up the energy like a change of scenery, right change of scenery and the vibe. So I said yes and invested my time, my money, my vulnerability, my energy into a woman's empowerment retreat. And I met these beautiful women that you'll hear and you'll hear all about that. But I just want you to know that it was in that moment that I decided and I had it invest money that I had to put on a credit card and I had to pay off. It was the best thing I've ever done for my life. It created a ripple effect one decision saying yes to one thing can change so much in your life, you have no idea. And so I had that experience. And if it would have changed nothing, I still would have had that experience that was amazing. That was connecting with a sacred sisterhood and women and the Divine Feminine in a way that opened me up to so much I didn't even know was missing. I could feel it, but I didn't even know right. So that's what I want you to think about as you listen to this interview. We talk a lot about the feminine mysteries and Lenin Erica are very versed in different holistic arts themselves. And so I really encourage you to check out their podcasts of course their link will be in the show notes. Erica and linear beautiful. You're wonderful. I can't wait to see you again. In the future. You're doing amazing work. And I just hope everyone has a beautiful day enjoy the show by On today's episode we have Mary Wagstaff, who is also listed alcohol coach, and a yoga teacher and works with the divine feminine. So I'm really excited for her to talk about her magic, and what her magical art is. So Mary, tell our listeners, what's your magical art, I just wanted to first of all, say thank you guys so much for having me. And I it's just so good to see you guys both together again. Even if we're at a distance, I can feel your vibes for sure. Well, my magical art is one of many, I do currently work as a holistic alcohol coach. So I help women stop drinking and examine their relationship with alcohol, and really move into that next level of their life and really decide to live a life that they love. So the approach is a little bit different, where we're not just stopping drinking, but we're, you know, really moving into the future focus version of yourself, and to get into what's possible as a woman as a, you know, as an amazing, awesome woman. And so that is one of the things that I'm really, really interested in, you know, getting out into the world, because I really feel like my approach is quite different than traditional approaches of just white knuckling willpower. And it's really coming from a place of inspiration, creativity, compassion, and allowing. And so personally, what am I magical powers and I believe it's your magical power to as women is our is our emotional body. It's something that I am constantly developing, and I'm really wanting my clients to tune into more and more, it was really the piece that helped me break through my relationship with alcohol was tuning into that divine feminine essence of being an emotional woman. And I think for so many centuries, it's really been repressed as women and I do think it is our superpower. I think it's our tool for pleasure and power. And it's actually a privilege to be able to tune into those phases of the self. And you know, we work with a moon phases, because she is that reflection of our internal rhythms. And when we can tune into that and like you were saying, Lynne, like the allowing peace is just like such a guide, you know, a compass for Hey, what's going on with my body with my relationship with this person? Am I holding on to a story that doesn't serve or that's not even true? Well, you know, we hold on to these stories, especially around alcohol that just were like, yeah, maybe that was true once but like, I'm a different person now. And I want new things. And so really helping women find and, you know, really tuning into and honoring and owning their emotional body, I think is one of the most magical powers Not only do I have, but I think all human beings have, but especially women, and I just think it's been repressed and we've been told that we're too emotional, we're too bitchy, we're too sensitive or too excitable, or to this or to that, or silly or not serious. And it's like, no, sorry, no more. So that's definitely something day by day by day. And as I get older, too, I really have to, to honor that and not feel guilty when I'm in a phase where it's, you know, I'm like, I'm a busybody, my partner's a busybody. He runs around all the time and I'm sometimes I'm like, I need to just sit and chill like, I just don't want to do all the things today and I really want to take a day just to be and rest in the hammock and look at the trees and whatever. And that's been something. I don't know if I grew up with some more masculine energy, but just Being is definitely a practice. But I think is a superpower that kind of recharges you and it lets you enjoy the intricacies of life around us. So I want to make a comment because that just be like when you're saying women and I share in that emotional nature and supporting people to find that peace with that, you know, we are on a cycle like he said the moon reflects, and there is that time in our cycle every month, where we are naturally just wanting that involution subtle connection with ourselves. And we don't honor that because we don't honor the rhythm that we are different. And because it is that patriarchal. 24 seven versus we dance. We're syncopated. We're the emotional nature is like the artistry and the rhythm and fun of things. It's not like a march. And so I think astrally every month we have that state of wanting to be in Venus. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we just don't really always honor it, or we talk ourselves out of it or whatever. So kudos for supporting women and noticing. I mean, it is it's a practice for us all, even if we know. Yeah, and I think it's really, it's really unfortunate. And and, you know, for whatever reason with the patriarchy as is, is it a fear of not being able to control everything in every moment. And I think that's a lot of it. But it's obviously like, you know, the, like you were saying that flow isn't is the grace, it's, it's the earth energy. It's the cycle. It's the rhythm, it's a spiral. And it is nature. It's, I mean, it's encoded in our DNA, a spiral. Right. And it's just, I think that that's where so much of people's spiritual deficit, and we talked about this a little bit, Erica, I think, on our call, but like, the filling that void, I mean, that's what the work you do, right, there's your spirit, it's just filling that void, that we don't even know where it is, because it's been stripped from us, it's been stripped from us that deep connection to our truest nature. And so I think we're constantly searching outside of ourselves. And then you get a little glimmer of it with that freedom that alcohol or, or it could be fill in the blank, right? It could be anything for so many people, but and then you keep trying to find it. And then at a point, it's just not doing it in your company, and then you're like, disappointed, and then it kind of takes you lower than you were and you're like, Oh, you know, so I think for me, that connection to spirit and the Divine Feminine tuning into my, my cycles and rhythms. And you know, it's not instant gratification. But the more you do it, the more it's the subtlety that becomes so much more like long, you know, longer lasting, and the real pleasure that actually has more implications for your future too. It's like it kind of builds on itself. And so it might not be that quick flood of dopamine right away. But man, I've been doing a ton of ecstatic dancing in the last year and it's just been like it's changed my life. I started hula hooping also at hula hoop dancing. When I started changing my relationship with alcohol, really, right after I met you, the two of you, I was kind of just had started my journey and getting into that embodiment piece. And that's why I call myself a holistic alcohol coach, because there's no separation between the mind body heart and spirit when it comes to changing your relationship to alcohol, especially if you want it to be long lasting, you know, and really be something that is you're not into feeling in deprivation, I want my clients always come away where it's, it's their alcohol to them is irrelevant, even though they might experience triggers from the past and you know, old habitual patterns, which is completely normal. They're not wanting to go back, they're not sitting there saying, Why can't I do this, they're saying, I don't want to do this, I'm done with that. That was a that was a, you know, a different part of my life. And I'm moving forward. And I'm finding pleasure and purpose over here. Now. So and I think that that's kind of the distinction between mindset too, is just like, are you going to hold on and grit your teeth and sit in the corner and pout because you can't have a drink? Or are you going to show up? And I say throw a better party and like put on your sparkle pants and go talk to everyone else and say, you know, you know, get curious how are other people doing and what's going on and having just a new a new perspective of every experience that you've done in that light. And I think it's just so true with everything we put ourselves in like, it could be anything moving, being becoming a parent, you know, all the things like you can show up grouchy about it or you can, you know, dive in and fall in love with it, even fall in love with it. You know, but not awesome things about it too. So So Mary and I, and my mom, all three of us met at a goddess retreat in Mexico in 2018. So we were doing our work in the divine feminine and we came together. And yeah, now we're still friends. And we still connect. And so that journey was incredible for me and for her. And so, yeah, do you want to talk more about your journey to how you got to your holistic alcohol coaching? Absolutely. So in the beginning of 20, so I, my I have a son who's four years old, and I was it was intentional, I was very excited to become a mother, although I didn't ever think I wanted to be one. But when the clock was ticking, it was very obvious. And I was like, to my partner, I'm like, I'm doing it with it without you. So you want to better jump on board. And, and then he was like, he, so I stayed home, I left me know, my full time job, I was actually working in real estate at the time, but I was still you know, I was teaching yoga, here and there, and just really part time and doing like personal training and stuff. But anyway, it was 2018, I declared as my year of Yes, and I just I, you know, I really want to finally like next level myself, I didn't want to go back to working for someone else. I finally wanted to take my movement practice all of the stuff I had studied for so long fitness, and yoga and the holistic arts to the next level. And so I just started showing up. And I really wanted to create a new sphere. For myself, my sphere was really small, because I had been home with the baby. Real estate is a small, like, you just know, the people that you take out, and then you don't have a lot of colleagues necessarily. So you're not, you know, you're just not meeting a ton of people. And before that I had been in the service industry for many years. So that was very much a party scene. You know, you meet people via alcohol, essentially. And, you know, your, your bonding at the end of the night. So I declared my year of Yes, 2018. And I just started saying yes to more things. I've never been a shy person, but going out as an adult, especially as a mom. And you know, and not talking about dirty diapers is like a whole new thing. And you have to really make an intentional decision for that. And so I started hula hoop dance scene, and that one thing saying yes to that one thing spiraled my entire life I met, the form of the dance of that particular class is different from yoga, because you're not just on your mat and quiet. There's time for actually like interacting, everyone's you know, everyone's learning it, it's not something you do. So drop in your hope your pet, you know, you're all laughing, and it's kind of a vulnerable thing. And I had really wanted to, as long as I had been in the yoga community, I really had never made any really close connections there. I in retrospect, it was really because of my shame around my relationship with alcohol. I was kind of this party girl. And I really was fear of judgment. I didn't want anyone to like figure it out. And as much as I loved that world, and it served me and I really think it was my saving grace for going to the deep end ever. I just didn't make those connections. But I knew there were like amazing fun people in that world. And I was finally ready to like, and this was before I stopped drinking altogether, I was finally ready to just be me. And just say, you know what, I know there's people in every world that drink there's people you know, we all have shit right? So it's just like I knew that I didn't need to shame myself anymore, especially becoming a mom something about that just like opened my eyes to we're all human, our unique experiences, what we need to be expressing, we need to be sharing that more and more. And so I had looked into doing a yoga retreat with some local Portland Yogi's and that was full and it was actually at the Marta holiday and I saw the goddess retreat and I had done work with siana Sherman. And I was like all in I'm like, this is it like it was exactly what I needed to do. And then I found out more about the priestess path meeting a chin Tia, and that when I found that out, it was like this door. And I didn't talk about this at the beginning either but I am have been studying a priestess path with a chin Tia. And I have done some initiations in that. And this door that had just been waiting open for me, like revealed itself and it was so obvious, and I immediately just fell right into it. And I started facilitating a women's circle might the way I was teaching, where I was coaching and guiding completely just shifted when I started bringing in the divine aspect of it. And when I was a little when I was little I grew up in a Catholic and the Catholic Church. I didn't go to Catholic school, it was really like we're a liberal, real liberal Catholics if you could imagine. And I loved I always loved the ceremony and a ritual of church may actually even thought about being a nun when I was little But I knew that that didn't sound like as much fun as I wanted to have either. And so the priest has passed with literally nothing I knew about and I am it's definitely the path for me. And I just I love that that sovereignty of being because becoming your own your own guide your own governance and moving from that place and just being being an example for others being supportive and having that you know that power with mentality inviting extending your hand to everyone being open and just walking the path to with the sister the sacred sisterhood that we've created and creating that. Now. I'm like, I feel like the grid that we created there and all the work I continue to do with a ciencia. Now I've done some other work with her I went with to Avalon with her in April, or no, excuse me, it was in September. And so I met another guide woman there that is also a priestess, path, teacher and guide. And now the work I do here, I feel like I'm just adding to that grid of sisterhood. But it was something about that divine feminine essence that was never exposed to me really, like I was close with my mother. And she, you know, talked to me about a lot of things. But it was still like there was always this overarching masculine energy where it didn't go deep into that, those intricacies of what it is to be a woman. And it was when I got to explore that with you guys that it was like the the goddess called I answered, she brought her beautiful head and she was the one that was really like it was like the day before I left takala I pulled a card. And I think it was I don't remember, I think it was like COVID-19 It doesn't really matter what the card is. But the message was very clear. And I had been getting it. And throughout that year, it was like you need to stop this drinking or it's going to not only is it Are you going to end your life and look back and really be bummed out that you didn't answer your calling. But on a physical and health level, I was getting some signs that there might be something not good happening for me physically and emotionally. And you know, I let the goddess kind of take over. I was just cry thinking about it. And I let I just really fell into her arms and fell into the arms of the sisterhood that I knew was there that I didn't even know existed. Because I didn't have a lot of close female friends. And I'm just continuing to grow that and I trusted and I continue to keep trusting with unflinching faith, and I keep being caught and supported and every and every step of the way. And it's been a beautiful, unexpected, but at the same time extremely familiar experience that I couldn't I just like that retreat, you know, I just can't even imagine I probably would have somehow found my way there because it was definitely happening already. But yeah, I just want to keep creating closer sisterhood because of that. And I just want us all to like, I just kind of keep envisioning this like giant party around my fire pit here like dancing under the full moon and when we can all get together. So if that's a roundabout way, I mean, I've been on the path since I was 17. As soon as I found out about yoga, it it like, it made so much sense to me because I always did have that relationship with the divine, but the way that it was presented to me in the church felt felt so like, not fun. And the patriarchy I was like, No, this is like stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down. And I was like, No, I need to like move and say I've always loved to sing and dance. I say my entire school career and I, you know, play some instruments and like, so anyway, when I found yoga and I found the breath and that really literal connection from the inner to the outer. And I always have loved to garden. And I did that with my grandparents. And so anyway, like it all just has kind of, I paid attention to the signs. And I kept saying yes, and I think that's a really important piece too, especially of the work that I do I I tell you know, women, it's like, right away, you might not feel super energized to pop up and go meet the whole world. But like, you do have to shift your focus. Like if you just quit drinking and sit around and stay home and watch Netflix all the time. You're not you're gonna feel like crap. Anyway, if you did that, you know, like, you have to find what sparks joy in you and create a future focus of Who is that woman that's waiting to be remembered. And that's really what it is. It was an experience of remembering a deep remembering of who I am. I'm a soul, my soul self level. So you know, it's fun that you talk about the path of the It's because that I learned years before I ran into you from my teacher from South America, and thus wrote my book and the art of being a woman. And it was really a lovely, like, we just never learned the real power of woman. I mean, and that, like the things that are simple joys and our giggly ways and our creative things, and like, let's get in the car, like, all of that is part of our just beingness Yeah, and because no one's honored or are set it like, let's face it, in one moment, we could call one woman and connect to probably every woman in the entire world, like no one build that nobody thought of that it just exists. We have this communal network. And we have these incredible powers just in being a woman that really haven't been honored. So I can understand it's like a coming home to like, Oh, I'm allowed to be playful. And I mean, I learned from a very playful school wasn't as much, ritualistic. And all the schools I'm in just have that more fun character about things. And we didn't have a lot of that. So I could, you know, that's why I took Erica and wanted her to go on that retreat, because she had heard my story. But you know, when your mom tells you, yeah, no differently, it's no different than when you actually see and that was the first time that three teachers were in collab like that. No, I'm in the worldwide circle. So that's why I wanted to go because that's what the feminine is about. Yeah. And I love that that example, and that's why I really, you know, because there's, there are people that are not are always so authentic, as well, and to see the way that they created their sisterhood, and, you know, and then like, the spread the network of, you know, the introduction to the all of their sacred arts and stuff. And, yeah, it was just, it was so beautiful. And, you know, I just think it's so interesting how we're coming back around to being in circle, and there's places in the world still, where women sit in circle, and it's so sad to think that in those places where women sit in circle, you know, naturally and it's kind of part of still part of their culture, they're usually don't have as much power in the community. And, and I think that that's kind of what happened is like, we were almost put against each other in order to gain power to rise in the ranks of men. And I think that, you know, there's an in this is something I really want to research more, but as it is a true statistic that as women have risen in power and become more equal to men, as far as pay and work, and moved out of the house, there, the increase of alcohol consumption has also gone along with that. And I kind of, for me, that was always an empowerment piece to have, like, I would go to the bar by myself, I would sit at the bar by myself, I could do all of those things. And I thought it was like, so cool, or like, empowered or whatever. And in retrospect, I realize, you know, anyone can do that. But I don't want you to do that, because I didn't gain anything from it. And, you know, maybe it made me like less vulnerable to go out and meet new people. But in the end, it was, I want to be empowered by being a woman, not I don't want to need to empower myself by being like a man. And I think that that's kind of where we're coming back to is that it's not about female leadership, it's about feminine leadership. And that is such a diff that looks so different. And even in our house, we're really exploring that, like, the roles that I have with my partner who's a man and how, you know, we both have masculine and feminine roles at the same time. And you know, to teach we have a little blond haired blue eyed boy that's going to be going out into the world and what I want to teach him about his innate, you know, privileges that aren't want, you know, that aren't necessarily his to have and what what his representation is in the world and how, what women mean, and, you know, he already is tuning into so many feminine practices, we have like nightly rituals and oils and affirmation cards and, you know, being in community with in communion with nature and all of that stuff. So, it feels like there is a shift and it's taken a long time to come back around to like, Can we have both can we be in circle as feminine leaders and connected to the natural world and still make as much money as men? You know, it's just like such a yes, and it's just sucks because it's like, whether or not it was done intentionally, which I think a lot of it was out of fear of emotion or fear of power. You know, women having power. It's just like, Man, that repression and then that those years that have all had also been said, spent with women, you know, up against one another fighting for that one position. And it's like, so I just really hope that this these conversations and the work you're doing and the work I'm doing are just in the sister circles that are happening all over the globe now are really gonna hold true to real. And that's what I really want to emphasize in my circle is, this is real community of, you know, maybe we don't really see each other once a month, but can you show up for a sister in need, when you don't always feel like it, you know, going out of your way. And I think we've lived these individual lives so much, it's like, we move away from the homestead. Now we're in our own home, and I love seeing you guys together, my mother, actually, we just moved, she lives down the street from me now too. So we have, it's really nice to just be closer to family. And to know that, you know, we don't need to be as individuals, we don't need to be so separate all the time. And we can share resources without lack. And I think that that's been another mindset, that's just a story. It's like, if I promote you, then maybe it's taking away from me, it's like, no, I promote everyone like you can not have if I have to you can have both of them. I don't even care. I'll go get another one. You know what I mean? Like, it's I just can't live in that way. Like I, of course, if it came down to my family, like feeding them, I would you know, I would take care of them first. But at the same time, I just I think that the more we know that there's enough for everyone, the more we'll get get back. And I really think that that's what women bring to the table. Is that sharing the open open door? Come sit down? And can I make you some food? And that all of that stuff? So I think our superpowers are just being women, frankly, their magical powers. Yeah. Well, and I love that you have gone into alcohol, because there's only like traditional. I mean, I don't know, maybe there are coaches, I never heard of him. Because it's a huge problem. And even if it's you don't have a problem with it, maybe your husband does your child know someone that your mom did. So it really affects us all. Whether we have a problem or not. And then the channels don't resonate with everybody, because not everybody resonates with every type of technique. Yeah, you know, so there are some programs out there. But perhaps they don't resonate with everybody, because it's like school, you don't get all taught the same way. So I love that you're going in I really like kind of a hidden demon. Yeah. And bringing just a new way to look at it that's like fun and exciting. And it's no different than gambling or over eating, totally over shopping or whatever. And I think you've said like, you don't really have rules, like it's just kind of very intuitive. It's Yeah, more awareness to what you why you're drinking and the emotional part of it, which I really thought was cool. listening to your podcast, thank you so much. And I Thanks for pointing that out. Because that's the thing, it's like all of the rules that are made up. And it's actually been in, I don't know who makes all the rules about the medical stuff. It's like, the CDC or something. But the, the they don't, they don't consider alcoholism the term anymore. It's like a alcohol spectrum disorder spectrum now, because it's so it's not black and white. And it could be an emotional dependency, it could be a real physical dependency, it could be any number of things. And I think putting all the rules and labels on it are really hindering for personal development. And that's really what I want people to take away from is it can be a joyful and amazing experience of finding out who you really are. Because for me, I was solving for problems with alcohol that I didn't even know I had, like, because I was drinking for so long. regularly. As I was coming into adulthood, there was stuff that came up that I wasn't like, intentionally using alcohol to cover up I just didn't, I wasn't experiencing my full spectrum of emotion. So it just wasn't there. And when I was unraveling things, you know, things started to show up. But at the same time, I was feeling so empowered by the work I was doing that, like you said earlier, like I could just let that story go. It's like it happened. But now I have the capacity to really, you know, move through anything. And that's something that I really encourage people to do now and I was talking about a little bit on my podcast was how changing your relationship to alcohol or any really hard thing that's been an issue and you're an ongoing issue in your life really grows your inner resilience. If you do it in the way of compassion and, and empathy and support or inspiration rather, your resilience like in this situation that we're in now I've been able to just be with what's going on and taking things moment to moment and just really Looking at it of like, how do I, how do I want to come out of this? How do I want to take this time My son is home now he was in preschool? How do I want to show up for that? Do I want to begrudge that? Or do I want to show up and fall in love with it? And you know, and all of this resilience has been strengthened. And it's only strengthened when we move through adversity, right, any situation, but with alcohol, you really have to slow down to be become witness to the emotions, and just detach from them, let them be what they are. Because for the first while, you know, it's a roller coaster, and there there is some anxiety, there can be some anxiety and depression. But once you kind of get through that, and you own that, like, I can be with these emotions, I can watch them I can let them be, then you're like, oh, there's nothing I can't do. I didn't die. No one got hurt. You know what I mean? Like, really, what's the worst that can happen? And it's really the mental spiral that people go into that's, like, takes so much energy from them. But I really like to encourage people to have fun to get excited about, okay, well, if I'm not gonna drink all the time, what's possible, like, what is possible, I can do anything I want. And, and you have to be courageous, and you have to be willing to, you know, step inside of a hula hoop or, you know, do any number of things, go make a new friend, or just try something that you've never tried? But, you know, it's, I think, failing forward and trying new stuff is better than thinking, you know, what if, or, you know, at the end of it all having a regret or trying to create, you know, once you especially once you move alcohol out, you become a clearer vessel for creativity, and like, you just started to get all these ideas and you want to pay and dance and, you know, make music. It's It's really amazing. And, honestly, having been in that situation with alcohol, versus having never drink, I think that the growth is even for me more exponential, because you see the difference. And I'm not going to say people that have never drank in their life or never had a problem with it don't have potential for greatness, because they of course they do. But when you choose to really step into your power, and then you see like, like now when I it's very hard for me to even, like kind of remember, I'm like, Oh my gosh, like all of these things that I did, and it just kind of seemed pointless, really, at this point, and there's no regret, of course. But yeah, it's it can be a really fun process it has for me, and it is for so many of my clients, they're like, Oh my gosh, they're so happy, especially right now in quarantine, that they're not drinking, that they're not being like, Oh my gosh, I'm out of line Do I need to go to the store or, you know, whatever it is, or just that added fear and anxiety that can come also with, with the, you know, imbalance of hormones and chemicals in the body. So just so much more even keel and I think that's the other perception in life is like, things either need to be, you know, so extreme and so fun, or it's boring. And it's like, you know, no one said that, like, life can be you can have elation, and life and ecstasy in life, even without it being like, over the top, you know, like, you have to add all these other things to it. Like if you if you allow yourself to slow down and tune in and be more present. I think that's the biggest pieces, like the presence if you don't do that, and you're just like, oh, but this, I want more, I want more. And you're kind of thinking about, you know, getting more feeling more than that you're kind of just missing it and what's there naturally all together so but it does, it definitely takes some recalibration of the of the brain and of the mind to switch those stories to switch the mindset and the focus and even 20 years of mindfulness and yoga practice, like I said, I think really did support me in my transition. I mean, I know it did, because I had those tools, but it, you know, I hadn't been practicing them in every situation. So I had to go back and be like, Okay, I'm in this new situation. I mean, I was drinking for everything camping, you know, I would finish a hike, whatever it was like a sunny, Sunny, more sunny day, and I'm in the garden. It's Margarita time, you know, so I had to relearn how to enjoy kind of all the things without alcohol. But it was really easy, because life's beautiful. And if you just remember that, then it just becomes much easier. So and it's also okay to just like leave and not do something and go watch Netflix and take a nap if you want to, you know, like we have so many options that just knowing like the spectrum isn't drinking or boredom, like and I think that that's what a lot of people think when they're in the beginning stages. And so and I'm excited for people to hear I will definitely, you know and refer people to this podcast because I think hearing about what other women are doing and their magic and like the spectrum of ritual. I mean, that was the other thing that I really turned tuned into was my ritual practice and ritualizing my life and my intentions and taking things that are the ordinary and making them really special, you know, through just paying attention or just Lighting a candle or adding something else sacred to it, like you can make every moment, a sacred ritual, if you really let it and then because alcohol is so ritualistic that in that way that you know, it's it's nice to see like, wow, I can feel this in a real way. 100% without any anything added. And it's magic. It's pure magic, love all of that marry Well, before we finish this episode, is there anything that you would love to leave with our listeners today? I would like and I think that this can be for anything. And I think that this might have been something we talked about Erica was, you know, just as you're in quarantine, especially, and making decisions about alcohol, just kind of think about a future, I like to do like a 24 hour fast forward. Like you just pause for a minute you take a deep breath, and you think you know what, if you're drinking or even something, maybe it's even food, like we're all trapped in. And it's kind of like, you know, you're buffering for maybe a little boredom or the changing of your situation, but just do a little 24 hour fast forward. And sometimes it only takes a few hours, it's like, is this going to be of service to me? And then you know, how is this going to make me feel after a drink or two? And then how am I gonna feel the next day. And that's like, you know, you get that little shift in your mind for about 30 minutes. And then it's kind of like you have to that's why people keep drinking, because you just want to keep meeting it. So I just say just take give yourself a pause of like, is this? Is this situation going to serve me? And how can I move forward with it. And if anyone needs any help with it, I'm here to support people in any way that they need. So just to take care and really be with your with your loved ones. Just be in the gazing in the eyes of your loved ones right now. And knowing that there's someone that's a phone call away, and I think just really tapping and tuning into community and who is naturally there to support you as the best thing we can do. Because we do have that, you know, if you're eating, you're drinking, you have shelter, like we're doing good and and we've got this awesome. Well, thank you so much, Mary. I'm so glad to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Well, that was really an interesting program. Like I I'm really excited by her art. Yes. I love how she's using a holistic way to help people. And it seems like it's not even, like she said, it's more about empowerment, rather than just drinking alcohol. I'm working on that on yourself. And yeah, she is a magical woman, that's for sure. Yeah. And I you know, it's a great way to look at it because like all of our ales are, doesn't really matter what the addiction or craving is, you know, the expanded spiritual paths going to support it, embracing yours. I mean, it's just all empowerment. So I just love that because I've never heard of that. And I love the approach and I just love all of this stuff she shared Yeah, her divine feminine as well, which you know, you for me and you We both are very in tune with, and just how she kind of is incorporating that in all aspects of her life and her coaching and making a community of women to come together monthly just to show up for each other and to be supportive is so important right now. Yeah, and I'm just loving all the different inspiration all our shows like yeah, it's just been way more empowering than I ever anticipated. And a lot of ways people's journeys, yes, you know, and have them share tidbits because we're always feeling really good after. Yeah, it'd be loved hearing Mary or want to get in contact with her. With her holistic alcohol coaching. All the information is down below in the show notes. I'm sure she would love to help you in any way possible. And if you loved listening to this today, leave us a comment of review. Share it with your friends or family. We would love to hear from all the listeners that are listening to us. So don't be shy. And let us know how you felt about any of the episodes. So thank you so much for tuning in. We're sending you all the love and light Hey, if you are loving this podcast, you are definitely ready for the next step. I would love to invite you to learn my three shifts process to interrupt any craving and get you started on your journey to finding freedom from alcohol. All you need to do is click the link in the show notes or on my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com to schedule a private Call with me. You will leave the call with the tools for success and feeling competent and excited about entering into your new phase of life and it's completely free to you. I look forward to connecting