Decisions, decisions. The better we get at making decisions, the better our lives become. We will always have a brain that wants to default to the negative until you practice observation. Ever thought in your brain, even if you BELIVE it with all your heart, creates a vibration, an emotion. When you tell yourself, I don't have the time, money, energy, even if you believe it, what EMOTION does it generate? One of fear and lack. If you try on a new thought to: I am in charge of my schedule so I can make whatever I want a priority, you can see how the vibe changes. What are your thoughts about WHY you haven't started the process of stopping> Chances are they are generating negative emotions, compounding the desire to drink and the story that to stop drinking is too hard. Ditch the story, let it stay where it is, and find some new better feeling or neutral thoughts. And remember, there are no WRONG decisions, there are only your thoughts about them. Take this as truth and you take your power back.
Happy Birthday MOM! Enjoy this New Moon Blessing.
If you are ready for support NOW, with high level, 1:1 coaching. Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Decisions, decisions. The better we get at making decisions, the better our lives become. We will always have a brain that wants to default to the negative until you practice observation. Ever thought in your brain, even if you BELIVE it with all your heart, creates a vibration, an emotion. When you tell yourself, I don't have the time, money, energy, even if you believe it, what EMOTION does it generate? One of fear and lack. If you try on a new thought to: I am in charge of my schedule so I can make whatever I want a priority, you can see how the vibe changes. What are your thoughts about WHY you haven't started the process of stopping> Chances are they are generating negative emotions, compounding the desire to drink and the story that to stop drinking is too hard. Ditch the story, let it stay where it is, and find some new better feeling or neutral thoughts. And remember, there are no WRONG decisions, there are only your thoughts about them. Take this as truth and you take your power back.
Happy Birthday MOM! Enjoy this New Moon Blessing.
If you are ready for support NOW, with high level, 1:1 coaching. Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help women just like you from around the world do the same with my one on one private coaching program. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools that make not drinking exciting and joyful and profound and sacred journey that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. The show is not a substitution for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. So please talk to a medical professional if your alcohol consumption is at risk to your mental or physical health. Now on with the show. Welcome back my beautiful listeners it is Mary Wagstaff, I am so thrilled to be here, I really needed a vibe of of something upbeat. I've been a little bit in a funk and I wanted to talk about it. And I wanted to talk about thoughts and thinking. But I actually just used this essential oil called Wild orange and it's very uplifting. And so there are a lot of tools we can use in our environment to kind of snap us and do that interrupt when we're in that kind of negative thoughts spiral. So what I wanted to talk to you about today before the episode is thinking and decision making, when we go to make decisions about changing our relationship with alcohol, I really want you to look at the specific thoughts and the specific vibration called an emotion that those create, we make decisions in a habitual way. So if you make decisions based on fear, based on scarcity based on lack, it will have it will not feel good, right? But if you continue to make decisions that way, you will never end up with the result you want. You continue to make decisions and find evidence to support your decisions, rather than stepping into possibility and saying yes, and get excited and creating a new vibration about something new and saying I'm going to make it happen. So some of the decisions that people make around alcohol and the reason they don't start the process is that there is indecision and indecision is the killer of dreams. And you've probably heard me say this or waiting or thinking about it. Now, I'm not saying throw all caution to the wind. But if you could not make a wrong decision, how would you show up, and I'm here to tell you, you can't make a wrong decision. Even if the result isn't what you want it to be, you still get to decide what you will make it mean. Now some of the thoughts people have about making decisions around alcohol are, it hasn't worked in the past, I don't have the time. It costs too much if they're supporting a program. What about this event? My partner drinks, how will I ever have fun, so on and so forth so you can hear the quality of these thoughts. Now here are some different thoughts that have a different vibration coming from love and abundance rather than fear and lack. I am so excited to see what potential I have the alcohol has been holding back. I know I can learn anything new. Alcohol has taken up too much of my time and I am ready to reclaim my power. I want to be the best version of myself so that I can support my family and my community. I deserve to have the best life. I didn't enter this life to escape it. I entered it to discover the experience of being me the experience of living. If I get alcohol out of my way, abundance will flow into me. Think about this. If you have lived 100% of your life to this point, what percentage of that has alcohol taken up? And I'm talking about all of it. So drinking, thinking about drinking, planning for your drinking cleaning up For mere drinking, lost sleep, lost work, arguments, joy, money, lowered inhibition or making decisions. Think about all of those things that you made a decision whether or not it was conscious, you did make a decision to allow alcohol to take up all of that space from you all of that percentage of your time. This is not an effort for you to feel shame or regret. This isn't an effort for you to get spire inspired. If I allowed and I made a subconscious and unconscious decision a choice to use my time, money, resources and energy for something that is an addictive neurotoxin. What is possible if I use my brain and make decisions on purpose ahead of time from a place of abundance, and possibility and love for myself? Enjoy? What would be possible to create? Now you might say the facts are, yes, but I don't have the money. Okay? Say you're entering a program. Or you're even going to buy a book or something like that. Think about all of the times you found a reason and a way to get alcohol, you found a way to make it happen. I remember and I frickin love yoga man. I mean, it is like the best thing that has ever happened in my life, I could cry thinking about it is the best tool, I can carry it with me I don't even need a backpack. It is always there. For me, it connects me to my mind body spirit soul. I remember thinking about going to a class that would cost like 20 bucks, I you know, I go visit my cousin in Brooklyn. It's like 20 bucks for an hour, that's so much money. But we would go out on the weekends, and spend hundreds of dollars on booze and other things that we would make poor decisions about. We would we would justify that. investing in yourself. Whether it's time, energy, money, is the best gift you can ever give to yourself. Because your brain is the most powerful tool on the planet. And when you can control your mind, you can create anything, I'm telling you this because I need this message more than I've ever needed it before. I have a story on repeat in my head. And it is creating a lot of negative emotion for me. So I just am going on a little Silent Retreat, just to stop the to stop the the conversation for a little while. Look at the story you have on repeat, there is no quick fix here. Now I have created a very approachable, efficient and guaranteed way to dismantle and change your relationship to alcohol, to change your thought process to change your desire to inspire you to lessen your drinking. But there is work involved, you have to show up, it will not just stop there is no magic switch that will just flip for you. You have to show up to see the thoughts that are creating the desire to see your thoughts that are creating stress and negative emotion. All of your thoughts are a choice. Now you think that they're fact, but they are a choice. So for example, things are getting more expensive. And I don't know if I will have enough money. So that is just a future focused hypothetical. I'm not sure what's gonna happen, giving your power away from the present moment. Instead of in this moment. I'm going to decide to put my effort in and think about how much money you'll be saving from not drinking and going out and making poor decisions. And then think about how much potential you'll have in your brain to generate new decisions to not be spending to not be frivolously consuming to generate creativity to make more money. Alcohol has taken up so much of your time that is irreplaceable. Be Onto yourself, honor yourself to day. Is this thought, a thought based in fear and lack? Or is it a thought based in abundance? You know what I actually do spend about three to four hours a night drinking and kind of just sitting down doing nothing. If I wasn't drinking, I would have that time to do some self inquiry, to do a little bit of movement to go out for a walk to play more intensely with my children to be more present. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you don't have time, or money or energy. Because it's all being wrapped up in alcohol, you have so much more available to you, then you're letting yourself on and you know why it's not your fault. It is the habit, the habit has created for you. Such a strong attachment, that to your detriment, it is overriding your ability to make new future focus decisions because the habit thinks that it is actually part of its survival part of your survival. And it is not an until you are on to it. And you come to terms with the fact that alcohol is an addictive neurotoxin, and imbalances, your body chemistry, your chemicals in your brain and you will struggle, alcohol will never be what you want it to be. No matter if you drink a glass of wine once a week, beer, whatever however you want to configure it whatever rules you want to make for it. It will always be what it is. But you get to decide how you want to think about it. I'm going to miss it. Or you know what, I've had my time with alcohol and it has nothing else to offer me. I really want to see what's possible for my life. Yesterday Yes, I was on Instagram. I just wanted to say this because I was creating a bunch of content for my program. alcoholism This is a dissociative, it shuts down our line of communication between our mind and body. Alcohol is so unnaturally strong, it creates an override in the intelligence of the body, you know the body that can heal itself that knows exactly how to survive that breathes on its own that has a heartbeat, all the frickin awesome things that the body can do. While alcohol is so unnaturally strong that it overrides the intelligence of the body to its detriment. The mind is now programmed to think alcohol is necessary for survival. The pleasure it receives is so concentrated, it will seek it over the pain and poisoning that is happening in the body. let that settle you have felt the effects of that poisoning. That is literally programming your brain to think something different. Alcohol creates the appearance of a relaxant. But it is a no way helps the body there. We have overwritten any benefits of alcohol science has. It creates imbalance in every system. Part of our work here is to realign the natural communication between your body, mind and soul without interference of an addictive neurotoxin. My holistic alcohol coaching program combines somatic reintegration. So that is rebalancing through movement. What has come out of balance because emotions that you're not processing while you're under the habit of alcohol gets stuck in the body. And that is why sometimes you can't just overthink it you actually have to move an emotion out of the body and process it in that way. somatic reintegration, energy medicine we know that we are vibrating we know energy, emotion, energy in motion, inner child work gathering up the parts of you that are stuck in the past because of the association with alcohol because of the attachment to alcohol there is part of you that cannot grow to be the woman who you want to be who you need to be who you are today. Because of the haze of alcohol I am telling you that cognitive repatterning so doing thought work seeing the thoughts and the brain how they're creating thought the emotions of the body looking at things from neutral, taking back your power, understanding that you are in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy? We can tell the entire world that they're wrong, that they're doing it wrong. But they're not going to change because you say so. So you can decide to say, Well, yeah, they're doing it that way. And I have no control over that. But I got it figured out over here. And then you do you, when we judge and we make other people's thoughts, feelings and actions. Negative, It only hurts us, it only ever hurts us. But from a positive place, we can take action out in the world to be a real service. Not just negative thinking negative thinking has never, ever created new results. Unless you get people so friggin angry, because you know how to manipulate them. Like the mass media, then you start to control the population, right? The Law of Attraction states, we focus on that which we want to generate. That's what we want to create in our life. That's why if you just continuously tell yourself the same story about alcohol, that it won't work for you, and it's not going to work. You got to tell yourself a different story. You've got to trust you've got to believe you've got to put yourself out there. We also use play and aroma therapy because plants are our allies are some of our closest relatives to us. And it's not something that we talk about a lot, but they really do support us in so many ways. And of course, emotional intimacy, deep, deep, deep self vulnerability. And really, really deep self inquiry to get you to know yourself with all of your emotions. We do this to reconnect you to the intrinsic wisdom of your body, mind, heart and soul. Right now, alcohol has taken that access away from you in in an aligned and balanced way. And of course, magic. It's all magic. When the elements of the earth the elements of your body, your intention, and the universe come together with action with drive with intensity. That is how we create miracles and magic and it sparks change. But you cannot get there. If you do not make a decision first haven't already signed up for my newsletter and I need to change the offer on my on my website. But if there is an invitation to get an audio of my three step process for overcoming an urge or craving or really any emotion it's a beautiful practice that you can take with you anywhere once you know it, but I will also send you the masterclass it is so important to watch this masterclass it is the framework of the work I do and it's amazing. I mean, and it's free. So start there, make a decision. Commit to yourself, make yourself a cup of tea, put on some music, you know, tell people you're going to be busy for a little while and go and do that for yourself. It's a new moon, I wanted to give a shout out to my mom to Happy Birthday mom, it is her 60th birthday today on this beautiful new moon it was the new moon rate at the stroke of midnight. And what a beautiful way to start a new decade. And so if you're going to do anything, go and do that watch my masterclass it has some little prompts that we will work through together. I'm telling you, this is the only way to dismantle this habit. If you're trying to think about doing doing it another way it's not going to work. It just doesn't work that way. It's a habit that you've created that you have to unlearn. And I'm just telling you, you have to accept that or else you will always be struggling. Now it doesn't take that long. Most of my clients first of all aren't drinking within the first 40 days. And some that have episodes of maybe drinking here or there and we again we evaluate it reduce their alcohol consumption by about 98%. And their desire, I would say about 95% because there are these you know ghost thoughts and those that's usually about the first three years from my my own personal life and just talking to other people that have even don't no longer have the desire to drink. There will still be old patterning that comes up once in a while where it's like, oh, I used to drink when I would solve that problem. And it's just the way that it is there's no shame in it. It's just recognizing the brain for what it is. Seeing as evidence Wow, how strong after three years You mean, you know, people that go so many years that that are just miserable. But that's because of their thinking. And so if this episode, if you take away anything from this episode today, take away that when you make a decision. Look at your thoughts. Look at the reason that you are making the decision and the vibration that it creates, what emotion does it generate? We can make anything happen. Anything's possible, you fill your schedule, you can ask for what you need from other people. You can find the support, there are resources out there, but you have to commit to the time that it takes. But it doesn't take the 30 years it took you to got work to get where you are, because you're going to be doing it consciously. Watch my masterclass, come having a an alignment session with me, I'll tell you all about my program. It's amazing. It is so revolutionary, it's out of this world, I couldn't be more proud to be creating the content that I am. And it is for the woman who is ready to get on with her life, who is willing to do the self inquiry work and the dedication and it's not like it takes hours a day, right? I mean, it could take you like 15 1015 minutes a day. But it is showing it up to keep it at the forefront of your mind and to make it your number one priority. But if you make dismantling the habit of alcohol, your number one priority for say six months or further for a year, then you never have to make alcohol a priority in your life ever again, then it becomes a moot point. And I know that seems scary. And that's part of the reason that people don't start so think about that. That attachment that fear that does not generate an emotion to act. It generates stagnation and stuck, right? I just really want I really want you to be able to see this. Your thoughts no matter what they are, no matter how true you think they are. Create your emotions and your emotions are what how you choose to respond. They drive your actions. So if you have a negative vibration, your action is going to be to contract too high to stay the same to run away to like quote unquote play it safe to stay small, because you're afraid but no emotion can kill you. Open yourself wide up to life. Step out into possibility crack your heart wide open. Because you're only doing this one time and you have no more time to waste. Alcohol has taken too much of your precious time. Too much of your precious time. If you've been drinking for more than half of your life, that's too much. And I have the solution for you. It ends here and now. Have an amazing day. Happy New Moon set and attention and get to work. Hey, if you are loving this podcast, you are definitely ready for the next step. I would love to invite you to learn my three shifts process to interrupt any craving and get you started on your journey to finding freedom from alcohol. All you need to do is click the link in the show notes or on my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com to schedule a private call with me. You will leave the call with the tools for success and feeling competent and excited about entering into your new phase of life and it's completely free to you. I look forward to connecting