Taking Chances

For today's episode, Bonnie and Danielle discussed about taking chances and getting outside of our comfort zones.

As an entrepreneur, we are a little bit up, we're wired a little bit differently than people who don't have that mindset. Partially because as an entrepreneur we tried to take on the world instead of just delegating tasks.

There's a lot of homesteaders that hold themselves back because they're not willing or they're too afraid to take a leap that would put them in an uncomfortable position. They maybe don't want to move away from family or away from the area they're living in. Maybe they're too scared to get started because they don't think they have all the resources that they need.

Regardless of what scale we're talking about, when it comes to taking chances, anything that we try is a chance. A good example is when you go and get a degree from college and you're taking the chance that you'll actually be able to get a job with that degree or that there'll be a need for that for your skill set.

A lot of times with homesteading, in general, we are taking on something that is outside of the status quo, outside of the norm. And we're going to get a lot of pushback, it's going to require us to learn skills we've never had to learn before, do things we probably didn't grow up doing. We have to really just acknowledge that those are bold actions, and that we are capable of doing those things even when it seems scary.

Listen the whole podcast episode and see how Bonnie and Danielle provided tips on how we can start taking chances and finally get out of our comfort zone.

Links mentioned in this episode:
2022 Seed Varieties
Pampered Gardener Box by Kitchen Botanicals
The Self Sufficient Life
Not So Modern Living

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Transcript

Bonnie Von Dohre: 0:01

Hello, and welcome back to the Grounded in Simplicity podcast. This is Bonnie from but also modern housewife. And I am joined by my good friend Danielle from the rustic L. And we are here to help moms live simply and find joy in being less busy. And this week, we are talking about taking chances, and getting outside of our comfort zones and all that fun, scary stuff. I mean, I know a lot of I get it a lot, especially from family of like, why why do I try to take on so much? And why don't I just do less? And I'm like, It's not who I am?

Danielle McCoy: 0:51

Well, I think, you know, like, as entrepreneurs, we are a little bit up, we're wired a little bit differently, maybe than, like people who don't have that mindset. But I mean, overall. Yes, I think and I think that's partially because we're entrepreneurs that we tried to, like, take on the world instead of just, you know, delegating tasks.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 1:15

Yeah, well, yeah. But I mean, I don't know, because I see a lot of homesteaders that you know, they hold themselves back, because they're not, they're not willing, or they're too afraid to like take a leap, that would put them in an uncomfortable position, maybe they don't want to move away from family or away from the area they're living in, maybe, you know, they're too scared to get started, because they don't think they have all the resources that they need. And so I mean, there's, regardless of what scale you're you're talking about, when it comes to taking chances, like anything that we try is a chance. I mean, you go and get a degree from college, and you're taking the chance that you'll actually be able to get a job with that degree, or you know, that there'll be a need for that for your skill set. Right. But I think a lot of times, you know, with homesteading, in general, I mean, we are taking some taking on something that is outside of the status quo outside of the norm, and we're going to get a lot of pushback, it's going to require us to learn skills we've never had to learn before, you know, do things we probably didn't grow up doing. And so, you know, we have to, I mean, really just acknowledge that those are bold actions, and that we are capable of doing those things even when it seems scary.

Danielle McCoy: 2:44

Right. So up first was acknowledging your fears, which I think you just kind of touched on a little bit like anything, you know, even if you're not talking about homesteading, but just in general, like, We're all scared of something like everybody has fears. And then when you talk about homesteading, you know, like, you know, what, if it doesn't work is probably the number one fear that most people that I know, have, you know, like, what, what if it doesn't work out? What if I, you know, do this, this and this, and I have nothing to show for it? You know, what if my garden doesn't grow? Or what if all my animals die? Or what if they don't grow fast enough? Or, you know, there's all these variables of what if? And so I think, you know, acknowledging that, of course, we're scared, you just kind of have to do it scared. And acknowledging Yeah, have those fears is, you know, like, definitely a part of the process.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 3:41

Right? And you can be, you can be afraid and still take action. Right? Like I said, What's Yeah, what's that quote? Like? It's not that the brave don't feel fear, it's that they take action, in spite of the fear. That's not the quote. But it's that's

Danielle McCoy: 3:58

the that must be a Marine saying, I don't know.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 4:03

Not a Marines thing. Our, our quota or our I don't know what's our motto is do First think later but yeah, good grief. But also, going along with acknowledging the fear, like a lot of times, we can think it's the fear of failure, that is holding us back. When really it could be something even deeper. Like it could be like for me, more often than not, I'm it really comes down to I'm afraid of, like putting myself into a vulnerable position. It's not like those surface level fears that most people would assume. But it is really like going deeper. So a lot of times people will Well, this has more to do People will use this tool and finding like your why. But it can kind of go to find the root of your fears and things like that, too. But if you ask yourself why it gets seven times? Have you heard of that before? Yeah, yes, I'm asking yourself why? And so it just it kind of goes a little bit deeper every time and it doesn't like, it doesn't always take seven times.

Danielle McCoy: 5:28

I had I had a coach said that. Yeah,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 5:31

like you. So you're,

Danielle McCoy: 5:32

you're like surface level, why? And then you ask yourself, why again? And then you ask yourself, why again? Yeah,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 5:37

yeah. So it can really get to like the root of what you need to work on and figure out so that you're able to move forward rather than just staying stuck. Because a lot of times, it'll be like, well, it's just the money, it's just, it's too much money, I can't handle the money, well, you get the money thing figured out, and then it turns around and ends up being something else. And so like, if you go a little bit deeper than it really helps you kind of get past that and helps you get stuck a lot better than just focus on the surface level stuff. All right. Next up, don't let fear drive your decision. I've been doing like these prompted journal entries. And what's interesting is the one for today is talking about kind of living your life on autopilot. And I think this can happen a lot when you're letting fear drive your decisions, because then your fear becomes in charge of your life and not you. Right, right. And so like every action you take, ends up being just to keep yourself in your comfort zone. Because it's you know, the unknown is too scary or taking chances is too scary. And I mean, really, like I know, for me, when I get into those, like autopilot types of situations, life goes by too fast. And then all of this time has passed. And it's like, what, you know, I haven't accomplished nearly what I had set out to accomplish. Because I got scared, I got overwhelmed, whatever. And I just tuned out, right, I stayed busy. I didn't focus on the things that were important that would actually, you know, achieve my goals. And what the heck, it's two years later, and I'm still in the same place that I was. Right. All right.

Danielle McCoy: 7:26

So we're gonna move on to the next one. And I'm gonna pretend that my water is wine. I don't even know where it went. Okay,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 7:36

I'm on my third. I'm on my third cup of coffee for today. So you're supposed to meet your water goal, so

Danielle McCoy: 7:41

I can drink a glass?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 7:43

Yes, I'm sorry that I have failed you.

Danielle McCoy: 7:48

Okay, um, oh, yeah, tackling your biggest fears. So I think doing the whole, like, stepping back and figuring out, you know, like, your different levels of fear, like we were talking about your levels of why are whatever, asking yourself why seven times, I think that this can help find what your biggest fear actually is. Because it's not necessarily that surface level, like, I'm afraid that I don't have enough money or, you know, whatever it may be. So I think, you know, like, sitting down and really writing out and trying to, you know, like, do a little bit of mental work and self reflection to figure out what you're really really afraid of, so that you can find a way to tackle that fear, so that you can move forward.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 8:35

And I think too, you know, we're sitting down, and we're looking at our fears and what's holding us back, it's important to remember that like, and it kind of goes back to what we were talking about last week with your inner critic, is acknowledging that all of these things that you're saying to yourself is the fear talking. Right? And it's like, you're trying to predict the future, and you have no idea what's going to happen, you have just as much chance of succeeding as you do a failing. And so, but if you focus on that success and what you could actually achieve, if you're successful, and what that'll feel like, you're much more likely to achieve that. Because all you're doing is focusing on well what happens if I don't succeed, then you're, it's just gonna be a race to the bottom, you're, you're gonna it's gonna become a self fulfilling prophecy. So Mark Twain would say that it's best to eat a frog in the morning. And it's kind of goes along with like, the tackling the biggest fears is if you're laying out your goals, and you have that thing that like feels really big and really overwhelming. Obviously, you're like, you're gonna take that thing and you're gonna break it down into smaller chunks, and like actionable tasks so that you can actually work towards it. But that thing that scares you and makes you nervous and has like butterflies eyes, the pit of your stomach, do that thing the first thing in the morning. Because one, you're going to be more likely to put it off the further you get into the day. But then also, you're going to feel so accomplished doing that one thing that it's going to kind of propel you for the rest of the day and set the tone for the rest of the day. Because everything else after that is gravy.

Danielle McCoy: 10:20

So whatever we're talking about, like not necessarily something that we're going to do for the day, but like, Okay, so we're talking about tackling your biggest fear, right? And then we should tackle it first, just like eating the frog in the morning. But what about, it's not necessarily a task, or a fear, it's not necessarily a task you're gonna do every day or a fear, but like, let's say something that you just really, really don't want to do. Like, it might be because you're scared, but it it's not something you're gonna have to do repetitively, like creating a garden space. That's not something you're gonna have to do more than one time, like building a building will say we really, really don't want to we know we need to. So should we do that? First?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 11:04

It depends on where you are in the process, though, like, are you at the I'm saving up because price of lumber is atrocious. Or I have to actually go and put poles in the ground and like set trusses? Regardless, it's a it's like a, you got to it's Nike, you got to just do it. So if it's a savings goal, yeah, I know. If it's a savings goal, then that money that you have decided you are going to set aside is going to come off the top, every paycheck, great as long as you have enough money to pay your necessities. But that may mean that you're not ordering pizza for the next couple of months. You know, like things like, you're going to cut out all of those things that you want. But you're going to do it by taking that savings goal off the top so that money is no longer available. If it is, you've got to go build something. And the only time you've got to do it is on the weekend. Then as soon as you wake up Saturday morning, you are going to get up and you're going to start working on it and you're going to get as much done as possible. At least through Saturday. If you want to work through Sunday, that's between you and God. And then you just do that every weekend till it's done. I mean, it's like you know, it's like my family. I said for Thursday, I wanted to clean kitchen and trellis arches. And my husband decided to go reorganize the shed. So guess who still doesn't have a clean kitchen or trellis arches.

Danielle McCoy: 12:48

So my birthday falls on Father's Day this year since we're getting off topic anyway. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. So just

Bonnie Von Dohre: 12:55

part of what your brain space is right now? No, but it is now.

Danielle McCoy: 13:02

So Trevor asked me what I wanted for my birthday. And we need not that I want one. We need a new weed eater. Okay, and I do most of the hard work because he's gone, despite the fact that I can't walk anyway. Right? So we have this like really crummy weed eater. So like a little battery operated Black and Decker because I can't use the gas power once or too heavy. Right. And so we talked about getting anywhere last year, we didn't so I've been making this on work. I have to use like five batteries. And I don't even really have that much I have to eat eat. I told him that we need a new weed eater. So he's decided he's gonna buy himself a weed eater for Father's Day. So I can use it. Because that's not a good birthday get.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 13:50

Well, okay, I can't really argue with him there.

Danielle McCoy: 13:53

No, I don't I don't argue with him. But he's gonna go by it so I can use it.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 13:58

Right and he'll get you something else for your birthday. No, no.

Danielle McCoy: 14:05

My whole point in telling him because I said Father says on my birthday. He was like, let's so he said goodbye and stuff. My whole point and it was that they should be on sale because Father's Day.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 14:15

Well, that's true. Did I ever tell you that? Matt and I was first Christmas together. His gift to me was a stepladder and a clap on like a clapper. You know, for the light. Like 90s Yeah, this was not the 90s Well, it was uh, I guess would have been 2006.

Danielle McCoy: 14:38

So you guys haven't been together as long as Trevor and I

Bonnie Von Dohre: 14:41

maybe 2005 I'm thinking we met. Yeah, I guess would have been Christmas 2005 Because we met February 2005. dated for a couple months. I deployed for five ish months. And then a fish So I moved to Florida. And then we started dating again. So and we got married and a wait

Danielle McCoy: 15:07

to see we met in July of 2004. I got married in the summer of 2004.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 15:23

Do you have a long time and sanity? No, I mean, it's not that much less so only another year. But I was still finishing up college in Ohio in 2004. Because I took the six year bachelor plan. Hey, whatever happens when you change majors and schools three times.

Danielle McCoy: 15:52

I changed schools twice. And majors once again.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 15:57

I pretty much changed majors every time I changed schools. Well, I can't really say that I was. I was business at Columbus State and then business at Ohio Dominican. But I decided to add math when I got to Ohio Dominican. There was some weird part of me that

Danielle McCoy: 16:16

math. Did you go to college not have to take math?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 16:19

No, no, no, I added I added math as a major.

Danielle McCoy: 16:23

Oh, okay. I get it. I get it. Yeah, I don't know why you would want to major in math. But

Bonnie Von Dohre: 16:29

I also have a long history this Saturday. I was, you know,

Danielle McCoy: 16:35

nerd. I was biology was pre med and then I switched to photography. So you know,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 16:47

well, I started Yeah, I started out. How on earth are we getting on this topic? I don't know. When I was at Andersen, I was computer science and math. Because that would give me the math classes I needed for vet school. If I decide to apply to vet school, when did you hit your foot and then I ended up deciding not to do vet school so and I really did not have the patience for computer programming to produce and hey, look at me now I'm doing computer programming. Um, yeah, but it was like it was it was an out of state school for me. So I would have been paying out the nose. I mean, I was paying out the nose for Andersen. But at least it was a smallish. It was a smallish school, it was smaller than Purdue

Danielle McCoy: 17:39

could have gotten grants to pay for the out of state tuition fees.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 17:43

I know but I liked like, I like small classes. I don't like big school. I don't either. I don't like people.

Danielle McCoy: 17:51

I don't either. And my newspaper advisor and I was in high school wanted me to go to Franklin College, which is in Franklin, which is really, really tiny. Franklin, Indiana. Yeah. So that I could major in some kind of writing. And I laughed at him, said you'd never be a writer and said, I'm a writer because there was no money in it. And then see, I went all the way to Colorado to go to school. And then I transferred.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 18:19

Okay, so I just there was like no way on planet earth that I was going to the Ohio State University. So I was trying to go anywhere, but

Danielle McCoy: 18:33

I applied to all these huge schools and I don't know why because I've never liked people.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 18:38

Yeah, so growing up in the four H program, and Central Ohio, we had a lot of activities that we would attend at Ohio State. And one of the first things they would always do is they would take all of these high schoolers and lock them in an auditorium and tell them how not to get raped on campus. Oh, so it didn't really make you want to go to school there.

Danielle McCoy: 19:02

By Yeah, I can see where you wouldn't be Rolla? Wow.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 19:08

I mean, really, I was looking to get out of Ohio. So like I was trying, there was a school I was looking at in upstate New York, there was a school I was looking at Georgia. And the only school that my parents would actually go on a visit with me to was Indiana because it was only three hours away. So that's how I ended up in Anderson because it was the only school my parents would actually visit and it was still out of state. So and then after a year there I ended up back at my parents house and going to Columbus State for the next like two years.

Danielle McCoy: 19:39

But let's see I went to Colorado sight unseen, but I went to I visited USC in California.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 19:46

That's a little bit of a distance. I

Danielle McCoy: 19:48

wanted to get out of Indiana, like as far as humanly possible.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 19:55

As far as you can get from Indiana and still be in the US. Yes. I went to Alaska. Well, that's true, then you would have had to have lived in California.

Danielle McCoy: 20:03

Yeah, no. Yeah.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 20:06

Not that No, not that Colorado is exactly a red state either, but you know? No. Okay, so moving on.

Danielle McCoy: 20:16

We're gonna talk about abundance mindset, again, because we love talking about the abundance mindset.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 20:22

Well, and again, I, you know, I say go back to a lot of things. We see a lot of people in the homesteading space that have won a scarcity mindset and also a fear based mindset. One of the reasons why I really don't like the prepper community is it's all fear based. Yeah, no, I'm sorry, folks, I, I am the first one to tell you to be prepared. To an extent.

Danielle McCoy: 20:53

I think there's a difference between being prepared and hoarding. Well, there's that. And, you know, like preparation can be gaining skills so that you can continue to be prepared in the event that something does happen. Right? versus,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 21:10

you know, it's running around constantly saying the sky is falling, isn't actually helping anybody. You can believe that the sky might fall someday, and be prepared for it. But if you're doing it, because you're so scared of the sky falling, then you're, I mean, really, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. And I think news to hold you bet Well,

Danielle McCoy: 21:39

as the sky is falling

Bonnie Von Dohre: 21:42

tomorrow, well, they change the reason for the sky falling like on a daily basis,

Danielle McCoy: 21:48

I think we're like, down to at least twice daily now.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 21:54

Because fear sells news, which is part of the reason why they drive me nuts. Because, again, like negativity begets more negativity. If you're always focused on the negative, you are training your brain to only ever see the negative, right? We see that in our society. Like, every single day, every time I log into social media, I see the results of people only focusing on the negative

Danielle McCoy: 22:24

when thinking but you know, their opinion is the only opinion and anybody that has a differing opinion.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 22:29

Well, there's also that, but no, like, yeah, focusing on what you can, what you can do for others, what you can do for yourself. And not just on what you don't have or what bad things might happen.

Danielle McCoy: 22:50

I mean, we need to do a whole episode on abundance mindset.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 22:54

Well, yeah, I'm sure we could probably do a whole season on abundance mindset. But I mean, I'm pretty sure there are entire podcasts but dedicated to the abundance mindset. Oh, I'm sure. So kind of going back to the whole fear base thing is one thing that drives me nuts, as a Christian is seeing other Christians that are like, everyone should hide and tuck their tail between their legs, or what I whatever, everyone should stick their heads in the sand. Because everybody's out to get us. And it's like, So are you saying that you don't have faith in God to keep His divine hand over all of this, and use all things for good. And, you know, I'm like, I'm not saying he's always going to keep us from harm. Because, you know, I mean, the Bible shows us example, after example, that if you follow God, you're going to have struggles and you're going to have hardships, and there's a very good chance you're going to end up, you know, burned at stake at some point. But it never stopped those people from preaching and following God and doing what was right. Right. And instead, it's like we want to hide from the world, and completely segregate ourselves from everything and everyone because the world is out to get us and it's, you know, it's all going to hell. It's like, I mean, it might be but

Danielle McCoy: 24:23

it's probably pretty factual actually.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 24:25

I mean, but I still have like, I but I still have faith that God's in control.

Danielle McCoy: 24:29

Right, exactly. There's a difference between you know, watching it all go down the drain and knowing that God is in control of the final outcome versus watching it all go down the drain.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 24:42

And like somehow, like I don't know, somehow I'm going to cause my own destruction because I'm

Danielle McCoy: 24:49

what is that? It's in John, is it John 1010. were promised and abundant life. A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and just I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 25:04

Oh, yes. But if you have a scarcity mindset, then you're thinking like, basically what I have is all I'm ever going to have, this is my lot in life, I can never accomplish any more than this, I can never be any smarter than this, have any more than this, right? With an abundance mindset, your possibilities are endless. You just, you know, if you're lacking the knowledge, then you just have to gain the knowledge. If you're lacking the tools or resources, then you gain the resources and tools. You know, and it's, it's not saying that just thinking these things are magically going to, you know, make it happen. What it's what it really is, is you put yourself into that mindset, so that you keep taking the action, you keep moving forward. And the more you keep working at it, then the more you can accomplish over time. So, you know, like we were talking about last time, where are the people who are usually attributed with being super smart or being super talented? Is just because they they put in the time in the work?

Danielle McCoy: 26:10

Right? Well, and you know, when you're talking about not necessarily individually, but just as a whole. So a scarcity mindset is going to have you thinking that there are only so many slices of a pie. Right? Where an abundance mindset is going to have you thinking that there are tons of pies, like there's a limited amount of slices of the same pie, or whatever it may be. So I think, and I really am, I'm one of those people that think that mindset is really, really important. Like we've mentioned, like you just mentioned a little bit ago about how you know, negativity begets negativity, but positivity also begets positivity. And so if we are constantly looking at things from that scarcity mindset, and that negative, because scarcity is kind of a negative way of looking at things, then that's that's going to be the outcome. But if we look at it from an abundance mindset and a positive way, I think that that is more likely to be the outcome, it may not turn out exactly like you thought it would, because God has a really twisted sense of humor.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 27:12

But it's not that early or plans.

Danielle McCoy: 27:15

No, they're usually not. But you know, I think I think when we look at things positively, we try to have a positive outlook on things and you know, look at things from an abundance perspective, I think things are more likely to turn out closer to the way that we want really want them to in the back of our minds, versus if we're constantly looking at things as you know, there's only eight slices of this pie. There's infinity slice well,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 27:44

and you know, like if you think about it, so we're getting this message, pounded into our heads that, you know, there are limited resources on this planet, and there's only there's only so much land and there's only so much money and there's only so much space. And it's like, okay, yes. But it is like there is so much more out there than we can even fathom. Like, yeah, there's a limited amount. But that doesn't mean that there's not enough to go around. And honestly, like, I mean, just look at our government, obviously, there is an unlimited amount of money, because they can just print more when it shouldn't have gone there. What I mean really like, like, I see it a lot in the business world, people will get so hung up on someone else having success, another business have, you know, making more money, another business having more success. And it's like, but there are so many other customers out there for you. Like, why be excited for them, be proud of them for their success. Because like, you know, their people aren't necessarily your people. Your people aren't really their people.

Danielle McCoy: 29:00

I love that you started talking about that, because that drives me crazy. Like when somebody's like, I can't do this because somebody else already did this, or they did this and they stole my idea. So now I can't do this, or whatever it is, and they didn't steal the idea because there are no new ideas. It's like, McDonald's, I hate McDonald's, but we're going to use it because so if McDonald's exists, so there's already a burger joint. So you don't need a Wendy's or Burger King or any other fast food restaurant at all really or you know, the diner across the road. We don't need another diner down the road because there's already a diner. I mean, it's the same idea. You're there, there's enough room and there are enough people that you can serve, you know, and still earn or whatever it may be, whatever

Bonnie Von Dohre: 29:53

your goal well and like Okay, so if we're using the restaurant example, most of the time if those restaurants go under It is it is not because there weren't enough customers available. Either. They didn't put themselves out there. They didn't provide the customer service, they didn't provide the product. Like, there's usually something else. And a lot of that may come back to, well, there aren't enough customer. So why should we bother? Or like, you know, only putting out half the effort or like a portion of the effort? Because, well, there's too much competition anyway, no one's going to want to come here. But yeah, I mean, like, talking about diners. I live, I live in the south, we have a diner on every corner. And that's not even including the chain restaurants. And yet, this guy that I know, well, first, first, he owns the hot dog joint next door. His mom owns a restaurant, literally across the street. Him and his brother decide to sell the hotdog stand open this diner next door to the hotdog stand. And on the weekends, it is no less than two hour wait to get in there. Right. And it's it's basically the same food. I mean, they put a little bit of a twist on it.

Danielle McCoy: 31:11

But I bet they also looked at things from an abundant mindset not and they weren't looking at things from right what I mean, because if you're from that, and they're offering enough, exactly,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 31:21

they're never afraid to try new things either. Right. And his business just continues to grow and grow and grow. I mean, it's gotten to the point where he has the merchandise side of the business, not even talking about the restaurant, because now he's selling merchandise with the restaurant logo on it. He's had to keep buying more shops up the street, just like to sell all the merchandise. Then he opened a tap room and then at the tap room was selling pizza now he ended up buying the property behind him and put it a stage and now they're hosting concerts. Like,

Danielle McCoy: 31:53

right? And it's not because they're meant to be successful in somebody else's. It's just that they're taking chances and right. And they're looking at things from a abundant mindset, I can guarantee exactly, because you're listening negatively, then you're never going to move. He just go

Bonnie Von Dohre: 32:11

into it saying we're just a little mom and pop diner in Brooksville, Florida, that is, you know, no, he's like, I mean, I don't know, except shoot, I should, like, get him in here for an interview. But it's just, you know, it was one of those things where it was almost like he went into it, like, let's just see how far we can take this. Right. And I'm in their franchising, and they're just right. And I think

Danielle McCoy: 32:39

about that, too. I was talking to somebody, it was a while back, I think it was one of my coaches anyway, we were talking about how you don't call yourself a small business. Don't ever call yourself small. So whether you're talking about business or your homestead, or whatever it is, and let's say that you do have a quote unquote, small homestead and you want to try to scale it so that you can make money at a farmers market. So you have you know, a little bit of profit, or you're helping pay the, you know, the feed bills, or whatever it is. If you call yourself small, then you're going to stay small. So you don't call it that you just, I'm just I'm a business or I'm a homestead, right, instead of calling it small, because that that's limited and it's kind of like a scarcity type of outlook on things. So you have to instead of calling it small you just have a business or on the homestead right?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 33:35

Well that's there's a guy that next county over that. I think he's only like on a quarter acre lot. He's growing everything in his front yard, selling at market. I mean, almost making a full time income from it. I can't remember I saw a video where he talks about how much he's making it. I can't remember how much it was. But people in the comments are like there's no way he's making that much money off his front yard. Yeah, he really is. I mean, granted, he's focusing on lettuces and greens stuff that like grows really fast that he can have a high turnover with right soon as one is done. He's planting and another one in its place.

Danielle McCoy: 34:15

And the problem was there's their mindset is their mindset because there's no way well, right things impossible with the right outlook.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 34:23

Yeah, I mean, even even the our state like so you can get a reduction on your property tax if you are green belted, which basically saying you are a bonafide agricultural business. And you are making, you know, agricultural income from your land. And for the longest time, the counties were like, there's no way you're a bonafide agricultural business on less than 10 acres. So if you were less than 10 acres, they would just flat refuse you. Right, and I mean, and there's plenty of people making more than that on an acre All right. And it's all about I mean, it's all about how you're using it and how and what you're growing and everything. So the state actually had to come out and say there's no longer any minimum acreage requirements. But you still have to prove your bona fide agricultural business. But I mean, at least that, it's still, there's still people within the county that want to drag their feet and want to like refuse to acknowledge. But if you can, like, if you can provide a business plan and show documentation like on your taxes and stuff that you've been making that money, they have to approve you for that exemption. This episode was brought to you by kitchen botanicals, your sustainable gardening headquarters, stopped by kitchen botanicals.com and get a look at our 2022 seed varieties as well as supplies and pest control products to help you with your organic garden 2022 is a great time to take care of yourself with our pampered gardener subscription box. Every month, you'll receive all natural self care products, untreated heirloom seeds, high quality garden tools, organic garden amendments, cute and practical supplies and fun products that we know you'll love. This is your opportunity to take care of yourself in the garden, I started the pampered gardener subscription box, because I had gone through a time of not taking care of myself and dealing with the stress that it put onto my body I was ill I was tapped out and I felt like I couldn't possibly pour any more out of my empty cup. So I created the pamper gardener subscription box for women like me who wanted to get back to what they enjoy, but also wanted to love themselves. So we've put together this collection of gardening and self care products that are geared towards women who love to garden, you'll get things such as gloves, lotion, bags, hats, sunscreen, mosquito repellent, things that you can actually use, but also things that you'll enjoy. And don't worry, there will still be plenty of gardening tools, seeds, we've created a subscription box like no other by gardeners for gardeners order your own box today. So All right, next up. Write down what will happen if you stay stuck. Now I will don't let this become a self fulfilling prophecy, though.

Danielle McCoy: 37:22

No, there's another step. Okay.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 37:27

But yes, it does. It does help to like, see, okay, here's how what I will feel. For me, if nothing else, it's looking at my life and going, You know what, this isn't the life I want to lead. And this isn't how I want to continue to feel. And the only way that's going to change is if I take action and make changes.

Danielle McCoy: 37:48

Right? But if you write down or at least think about you know, like, Okay, if I stay at this plateau, wherever I am in life, and I don't ever take a chance on anything ever again, or, you know, if I don't take this particular opportunity, instead of calling a chance, then you know, what, what's gonna happen? If I don't take the opportunity to X, Y or Z? You know, I'm going to be exactly where I am this time. Right?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 38:14

That can be motivated. Alright, what's up next? Since you said this is two steps, or multiple steps?

Danielle McCoy: 38:20

So what would you do if you weren't afraid? So you can write that on the same piece of paper. So, like, if you actually, you know, took the opportunity, write down, you know, because it's gonna be the opposite of what's gonna happen if you stay where you're at, right? So what are the possibilities now isn't necessarily going to come to fruition? Not necessarily, but if you write down, so the opposite, you know, like, so if I stay stuck, and I don't, you know, try to grow food for market, we'll use that as an example. If I don't, if I don't expand my garden and try to grow food for market, then I'm going to be exactly where I was this time next year. And then if I did go ahead and take that chance to grow food for market, you know, what are the possibilities if I went ahead and just went for it? And I wasn't afraid, you know, what, where am I? Where could I possibly be at this time next year? Yep, those are my steps. You're gonna say nothing to this?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 39:22

No, I agree with you. No, I was just thinking like, and that does go back to you know, writing down your fears and actually getting down to what what is it that you're really afraid of when it all comes down to it? Right. But no, I also for whatever reason started thinking that if you're worried about what if, because I've seen this happen a lot of times too, people get so afraid of, well, what happens if I'm successful, and then that feels too scary? Because then they don't know if they can keep up with it. But it's, if you like, say you only have an acre for Your garden. And okay, what if I am wildly successful at the market, and my acre is not enough to keep up with it. There are always other opportunities, you can lease land, you, you know, or you can partner with someone else. There's an, like, I've run into a lot of people that want to be able to grow like they have, they have the land available, they want to be able to grow food on their property, like they want to have a big garden, everything, but they're not able to do it themselves, because of age or their work schedule, or whatever. So you could work out something with them that maybe use their acreage, and they get a portion of the vegetables or something like that, right? You know, and you get, you get to a certain size, you can hire people to help you, it doesn't all, you know, always have to be you. So, there's always, there's always more opportunities, the more you grow. But if you stay small, then that's when you end up being very limited, it's actually a lot easier to be big than it is to be small. But but don't start big. Start small, it's also a really good way to get overwhelmed.

Danielle McCoy: 41:06

Yes. So you know, like, Okay, you want to grow for the market. And but that doesn't mean that you have to grow that whole acre your first year either. Like, you could start with just a little bitty farm stand and grow some of your excess produce on a half an acre or a quarter of an acre. And then you know, as you're able, and you see, you know that there's a market for it, and then you can, you know, scale up. You can also scale down I guess, but it's a lot easier to scale up than it is to scale back. Well,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 41:39

it's a lot easier to pivot when you're small, right. Because if you figure out that either the market that you're going to isn't going to be a good fit, or the product that you're selling isn't, you know, there's not a high demand for it. But also, like starting small can mean you're only focusing on like one or two vegetables. Like I said, there's the guy that pretty much is just selling lettuce, there's one lady Now granted, she started to offer more stuff now. But for the longest time, I would go to the market and the only thing she had were tomatoes, but those were the best tasting tomatoes in the entire market, she was the only person I would buy tomatoes from. So if you just have like one thing that either you can grow really well, or say it's like a green that can grow really fast and harvest. And so you can have a high turnover with it. That which works really, really well. If you have a small space, then just focus on that. And right can like you can make a decent income selling just that. This is one that I've come to know very, very well get comfortable with being uncomfortable. growth, growth is painful. Growth is scary. And it will literally bring you to tears more often than not. But like that is literally the only way to grow. Like, if if you want more than what you currently have, you're going to have to be uncomfortable for a period of time.

Danielle McCoy: 43:13

And the goal Yeah, comfortable again, and again. And again and again. Because if you get if you're ever comfortable, you're not growing.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 43:20

Yeah. You're just yeah, like the bigger your goals, the longer your discomfort.

Danielle McCoy: 43:27

Right. But you can also break those goals down into smaller goals so that your discomfort is more manageable. Yes. But we all have to get out of our comfort zones. If we stay undercover since then we're not growing, we can't You can't grow, you know, sit on the couch. Right?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 43:44

Well, I'm like, the way I look at it is like, I literally have to become a different person from who I was. Just like, you know, just like with anything, if you if you want a new skill, you have to learn that new skill, right. And sometimes that new skill is learning to be uncomfortable, or learning to make hard decisions. So it's, I guess, kind of, you know, be open minded to what lessons the discomfort is trying to teach you.

Danielle McCoy: 44:18

Right? Instead of looking at as challenges look at it as opportunities and lessons that you can learn.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 44:23

Right. Journaling helps me because then I have notes I can go back to so I can kind of like remind myself of the lessons, right? Or maybe there's stuff that I will write down that I won't really see the lesson until I go back and reread it again a couple days later. Right. So All right, next up

Danielle McCoy: 44:45

did its reflection is yes.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 44:49

So I see that I think back a lot.

Danielle McCoy: 44:51

Yeah, that was gonna say I think you know, between fear and perfectionism and thinking that everything has to be just so I think you know, that's what keeps most people All, from trying to take an opportunity and move forward with something. But you know, I think if we don't take risks in our lives, then we're not really living, like, I'm one of those people that thinks that, you know, you have to take risks, and you can't necessarily look at it as a risk, you have to look at it as an opportunity. And if you are trying to make something perfect, then you're not going to take the risk, right? Because you're going to let that hold you back, and keep you stuck in the same position that you're currently in. Because you, you're number one, there's no such thing as perfect. And we talked about this before, but you're, you're never going to see it perfect, you know, you're never going to see it come to fruition. And that perfect mind, you know, mind's eye that you have, so you have to kind of just let go of it. And, you know, take impact kind of

Bonnie Von Dohre: 46:04

kind of takes me back to like high school when I was doing all of these, like classes and things for the college entrance exams. So like taking all these test prep classes, and they would teach you strategies for like, say multiple choice questions. And one of the things they would always tell us is do not second guess your answers. Right? Because more often than not, you actually had the right answer the first time. But then you go and you second guess yourself, and you overthink it, and then you go and change it. And you actually change it to a wrong answer. Yep. So like we can get hung up on something's not perfect. But in reality, we would have like, people would have related to it better. If we would have just taken the initial action. Like, if we would have put it up in imperfectly, it probably would have performed better done better, people would have liked it better. But if we sat there and just kept tweaking it and tweaking it, so yeah, just put it out there. And even if like, if there's something wrong with it, if there are whatever it is that you're doing, you can always fix it after the fact.

Danielle McCoy: 47:11

Right? And it still, it still will not be perfect.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 47:15

It'll never be perfect. There's nothing there's nothing on this planet. That is perfect. I mean, people will tell it like trust me, the naysayers will love to tell you all the things that they think are not perfect, but what's perfect in their eyes is also not perfect in the next person's eyes.

Danielle McCoy: 47:29

So exactly.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 47:33

Embrace the suck. Sorry, that is not what it says it says embrace failure. Personally, I like embrace the suck.

Danielle McCoy: 47:48

Yeah, and you know, don't think of it as a failure, I think is part of the trick to getting past them. I think, you know, instead of a learning opportunity, yes, exactly. Is a learning opportunity. We all fail. But you know, we can learn from those mistakes and grow because we made the mistake, and we can't grow if we didn't make a mistake a lot of times. So I think, you know, looking at it from a different viewpoint and knowing that we all make mistakes, we all have failures, that doesn't necessarily a failure is not permanent.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 48:23

Right? And again, you can't grow without failure. But I'm full of quotes today that I'm continually butchering, but I guess, like Thomas Edison said, like, I didn't learn. I didn't fail 1000 times I learned 1000 ways not to make a light bulb.

Danielle McCoy: 48:41

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, it's something I know that I know that one. Oh,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 48:49

yeah. I said about ditching perfectionism. Right. Yeah.

Danielle McCoy: 48:56

But I think, you know, I think people are often concerned about what other people think of them. We as we live in a society where, you know, there's, I don't know,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 49:11

everyone has an opinion, and they think that their opinions are well, right, and that you're entitled to hear it. I mean, yeah, I've blocked family members, because they had that mentality. And I think it's just you really have to examine, is it someone whose opinion should even matter? Like, is this someone that I even care to impress?

Danielle McCoy: 49:40

Like, I mean, literally, no one's opinion matters. So if you're on God's

Bonnie Von Dohre: 49:44

well, okay, there's that. I mean, there's a small part of me that cares what my husband thinks. Well, yeah,

Danielle McCoy: 49:52

I mean, but

Bonnie Von Dohre: 49:54

so like, Okay, I will say, All right, so like, for instance, I do like, like, I like to bounce ideas off of you. Because your opinion does matter to me. Now, ultimately, I may still decide to do it anyway. Because you know, I'm a stubborn sob that just does my own thing. But I still value your opinion, I want to hear your feedback.

Danielle McCoy: 50:17

Well, that's different, though, than saying, you know, like,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 50:22

I don't think I don't think you should let fear of someone's opinion. hold you back from doing the thing.

Danielle McCoy: 50:32

Like, asking for feedback and an opinion, and then you still get to decide? Well, yeah, okay. If I tell you, you shouldn't do something, and you go ahead and do it anyway, that doesn't mean that I'm going to think less of you or differently. You know what I mean? I

Bonnie Von Dohre: 50:47

mean, it's right.

Danielle McCoy: 50:48

There's a big difference between asking for more. I mean,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 50:50

there are people that would be that way. But again, you have to question those are not your ally, their opinion matters. And like, I've had people that have given me feedback. And then at the end of the day, I have to go, but they're really not like my target market. They're not the person I am trying to engage with, you know, with X y&z Whatever it is, I'm trying to do. Right now, there are things that they have like that they have suggested that I was like, You know what? That's, that's valid. And I will try to incorporate that. But yeah, at the end of the day, I make my own decisions,

Danielle McCoy: 51:30

right. And it doesn't matter. If the guy across the street thinks that you're crazy for growing lettuce in your front yard. It's really none of his concern. And if you live in an HOA, I feel very, very sorry for you. Yes. So there is that? But, yes, I guess

Bonnie Von Dohre: 51:47

if you don't like your ways, don't move to Florida, because it's really hard to find a house down here. That's not in an HOA. Thankfully, I live in one of them. But I live in a house that doesn't have an HOA that's what I need to Yeah, anyway.

Danielle McCoy: 52:00

I think that's they're becoming very, very common. And then you know, you not that you have to worry about what other people think, but that it matters what other people think. Because

Bonnie Von Dohre: 52:12

they will literally find you if you don't go along with the sheep.

Danielle McCoy: 52:15

Yeah, which is so dumb. I know.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 52:19

I never understood why someone would buy a house where someone else gets to decide the color of your mailbox. But

Danielle McCoy: 52:26

you know, whatever. Or you know that you can't have a blueberry mesh in your front yard or

Bonnie Von Dohre: 52:31

right. Like, I know, it's like the whole, it's actually a little bit ironic. Here we go sidebar again. People will say they want to live in an HOA because it protects property values. But then. But then I also hear the same same argument that people can only find like affordable housing and HOAs. Like homes that are on, like homes that are on a lot outside of an HOA are too expensive. So the only way they can find a home in their budget is to live in an HOA. I'm like, so are those houses worth more money or not? I mean, I know I

Danielle McCoy: 53:15

think it's hard money is supposed to it's supposed to protect your property value because they can't do X, Y or Z. But you know, I don't think property value is going to depreciate because I have a clothesline in my backyard like,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 53:31

well, right. I know. Yeah. I know.

Danielle McCoy: 53:36

I think there's there's pickers.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 53:38

Right. Well, and again, like it's, it kind of goes back to like a scarcity mindset. And just like a fear based mindset is, like they're so afraid that a tree is going to attract rats. And it's not based on like anything factual. It's just that's their assumption that if it's producing fruit, for the tree, the rats are going to come eat the fruit and therefore it's going to attract rats. Or, like if someone has a clothesline behind their privacy fence so that you can't see anything their backyard anyway, I might get a glimpse of their underwear. I don't know. Like, it's just I don't know. I I don't understand the mentality. I mean, I realized there are people that they want everyone's yards to look the same. And then they get mad when everyone's yards don't look the same.

Danielle McCoy: 54:30

Sorry. Last.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 54:34

Fall back, yes.

Danielle McCoy: 54:35

First off, realize that nothing is permanent. I wanted to put that out there. So you know, just because let's say you are going to leave your job become a market gardener. Well have a fallback and the fallback means that you know, so money might be an issue. Make sure that you have enough safe back so that you know you can fall back on that if you need to. And also realize that just because you left your job and become a market gardener doesn't mean that you can't go back to a job

Bonnie Von Dohre: 54:59

right? as well and to I mean, a lot of times people will, like stay with a full time job while they do the side gig and kind of build up like a parachute. So that when they do take that leap and go full time, then you know, they have something to fall back on. But also, you know, just having like a backup plan to pivot to I was listening to one of Donald Miller's books from story brand. And he was talking about, like, if they have a new product that they're launching, they will actually put the website out there first, with a sign up to get on the waitlist and sell ever like, and they'll only sell it to their email list first, or maybe like a segment of their email list. See how much interest is in it get all the signups before they even have the product, sell the product, take any money, anything like that. And just to determine if there's interest before they even, like try to sell the product, right? So there's a lot of research, like, whatever you want to go into, there's a lot of research that you can do ahead of time. And even how we've talked about, you know, if you're not in a position yet to be able to homestead or produce your own food, or whatever it is, you know, just like starting that education piece and learning the skills. And a lot of times you can decide if something is going to be for you just from learning the skills and decide that okay, you know what, I really don't want to do this full time. Or this is just not like this is just not something that I find enjoyable.

Danielle McCoy: 56:44

I don't think you can do that with homesteading. What do you mean? Because learning the skills versus actually living the life are two

Bonnie Von Dohre: 56:54

very, very different. All right, I'm not saying you're going to work out all the kinks 100%. But you can still like okay, for instance, people that try pressure cooking, or try pressure canning one time, and then decide that pressure canners just scary and they never want to pressure can again,

Danielle McCoy: 57:13

most people wanting to try one time. So there's that but yeah, I get that figure

Bonnie Von Dohre: 57:19

that figure that out before you go and buy a 400 ollar canner

Danielle McCoy: 57:25

make it work you want that's why I'm totally off topic. Again. I'm thinking about getting a freeze dryer.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 57:34

Those things are big, where you gonna put it sometimes it helps to think things through

Danielle McCoy: 57:43

before you're actually they've got one at one of the local stores actually our harvester released dryer and it's not real big, it's like slightly larger than my dehydrator.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 57:53

Oh, okay, that's not too

Danielle McCoy: 57:53

bad. And it's like a medium size. Because

Bonnie Von Dohre: 57:56

the ones I've seen have been like size of an oven, at least have an idea like it depending on if they find chicken scary, although I'm sure they would figure that out before they ever tried to raise a chicken. But I still think that you can eliminate some things by trying them and deciding if you'd like them or not. You could try freeze dried food and decide you don't want to ever freeze dry your own food.

Danielle McCoy: 58:23

I think you know if push came to shove and I really needed some food then I would eat freeze dried food regardless.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 58:31

I mean, that's why I have a giant cabinet full of freeze dried food, but I bought it I didn't buy a freeze dryer. I mean, or you could be like me, and try all of the things growing up and decide you're never gonna have chickens. You're never gonna have goats, you're never gonna have pigs, you're never gonna have ducks. And then become an adult and have all of them

Danielle McCoy: 58:55

twisted sense of humor?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 58:57

Yeah, pretty much. But you know, I got my business degree because I was tired of being dirty for a living I should have just my original like, somewhere. There's a picture of me standing next to Mike, like the classroom door and kindergarten. And it has all of the stuff that I like. And one of the things was like what what do you want to be when you grow up? And I said Pharma. So apparently at six years old, I knew what I was going to be. It just took me the next 20 years to figure that out.

Danielle McCoy: 59:37

Well, I think you know, we I think as far as homesteading or really anything goes I think something you're either called to or you're not. Yeah. And you're gonna find a way to work it out if you feel called to it but this is not where I envision my life.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 59:54

I think often than not homesteaders have more of a problem of trying to tackle too much And like, I don't know, maybe it's because they like held themselves back for so long that when they finally take that action, and like, get the property and start doing the things that all of a sudden it's like, Oh, I've wanted all of these things for so long now I have to have all of them all at once.

Danielle McCoy: 1:00:17

I think that's part of it. And I think another part of it is they're trying to keep up with everybody else. Yeah. And do or or it's a whole fear thing. Yeah, like and they feel compelled to because

Bonnie Von Dohre: 1:00:31

not a real homesteader if I don't have x y. Right, right. I mean, my kids keep telling me that we're not a real farm because we don't have sheep and donkeys. I don't know why sheep and donkeys somehow magically qualify us as a farm. Oh, we need a cow.

Danielle McCoy: 1:00:46

Oh, you definitely need a cow. Yeah.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 1:00:52

Not that my kids will ever let me put your account so it's gonna have to be a dairy cow. Or you'll never be that I? Well, yeah. I mean, we have chickens that we don't collect eggs from. So why would we milk a cow? Well,

Danielle McCoy: 1:01:08

you should probably get a steer though. Because you apparently you just realize where's the beef.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 1:01:14

I don't need to own a steer when I know other people who owns tears. In fact, a friend of mine just posted she was complaining about hay prices. And she was saying they're getting ready to bring in a few steer that they're going to finish. And I was like, you know, I'm working on clearing out room in my freezer. I'm going to need some beef to fill it with white blank. So, but I did find my beef. And it didn't cost both of my kidneys. So that's a

Danielle McCoy: 1:01:43

plus Just one. Just one of them. Maybe a lobe of your liver.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 1:01:49

At least that'll grow back. If I don't drink a bunch of wine to get over these food prices and gas prices. But yeah. All right. That's it for today, folks. Take risks. Take risks. They're opportunities. Exactly. They feel scary. They need to scary is good for you. It's like riding a roller coaster. You know, you go up that first hill, all that suspense built up, it feels really scary. But then you get the thrill of going down that first hill, put your arms up in the air, and then it becomes exciting. And then you throw up. So, on that note, I guess we'll catch you next time. Thank you for listening to this episode of the ground and simplicity podcast. If we were able to help you in any way, please share this episode with a friend. And also leave us a review on Apple podcasts. You can also join us over on Patreon at grounded simplicity and help to support this podcast as well as become a patron and get a behind the scenes look at the creation of our podcast and even have some input on future episodes.