Establishing Rhythm

In today's episode, we talked about setting your daily rhythm.

We discussed that setting your rhythm can set your routine. You have to think which tasks you'd like to accomplish in a day. You can assign some to your kids or your spouse. You don't have to do it all by yourself.

Pick just three things that are going to be your focus for the day. And if three things are too much, then you just pick one thing that's going to be your focus for the day.

Links mentioned in this episode:
2022 Seed Varieties
Pampered Gardener Box by Kitchen Botanicals
The Self Sufficient Life
Not So Modern Living

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Transcript

Danielle McCoy: 0:03

Welcome back to the Grounded and Simplicity Podcast where we are helping moms get back to basics and learn to find joy and being less busy. I'm Danielle from the rustic l joined by my good friend Bonnie from the not so modern housewife. In this week, we are going to talk about Establishing Rhythms.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 0:21

There's a lot of different rhythms like we can have, there's a rhythm to the year or rhythm to the seasons, or rhythm to the month or rhythm to the week, blah, blah, blah. So we're just going to talk about our daily rhythm for today. Because otherwise, this is gonna be like six hours long. But talking about just like setting that daily rhythm. And I don't know, I guess, kind of being more intentional with our days, but that way, you know, we don't just blink and all of a sudden this day or time we have no idea what happened to the day.

Danielle McCoy: 0:56

That happens. Oh, especially this time of year, because it's dark it like lunchtime.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 1:03

Right? I will I will tell you the great thing with it getting dark at 530. Although Yeah, you're right. Like I look out the sun. I mean, like, it's like three o'clock in the afternoon. I'm like the sun is going down. Like it looks like dusk outside. And I am just now getting to the point mentally where I'm ready to go outside and do yard work. So this is why we're telling you don't be like us. And It doesn't help that I'm really not a morning person. But yeah, it's anyway, what I'm starting to say is that the nice thing with it getting dark early, is as soon as the sun goes down, like 5:36 o'clock, my two little ones are like, can we have our nighttime gummies? Which are they're like sleepy time gummies. Like, yes. And we're all in bed by eight o'clock.

Danielle McCoy: 2:04

Oh, that never happens here.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 2:06

Well, it's so funny, like my four year old. And granted, he is usually like the first one up besides my husband. But he has kind of like just decided his bedtime is eight o'clock. And I mean, that is like 7:30 he is getting cranky. Don't try to ask too much of them. Don't try to start an argument with him about anything. Just keep the peace. You know, and like, placate him and he's going to be asleep soon anyway. Otherwise, there's just there's too much crying and too much drama and it's just, it's miserable for everybody. So, just for whatever reason, eight o'clock, he goes and puts himself to bed. Whether it is on the couch in my bed in his bed. Yeah. It's like every single night and I even told my husband, I'm like, apparently his bedtime is eight o'clock. And of course, my husband's like, whatever, none of our, you know, our other two kids have never gone to bed before 10. And then I was off somewhere. And I came home and he's like, you're right, his bedtime is eight o'clock. The problem with that is we have like, that means that I have to make sure that I am ready to feed children at..

Danielle McCoy: 3:22

A reasonable hour?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 3:24

Yeah, like not nine o'clock..

Danielle McCoy: 3:27

An hour after he goes to bed.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 3:30

I have to be ready. Yeah, I'd be ready to like feed children at like six or seven. So that I know they'll get dinner. You can use your rhythm to set your routine. And for some people, you can set your routine and your body mind whatever will fall into a rhythm with that routine. That doesn't work for me and my family. We have to figure out what our rhythm is first. And then we have to try to build a routine around that. I really trying to have some kind of a routine, right? But like I know, I know if I try to put too much stuff on the routine. Like if I try to say, this is my morning routine and it's got like 20 things on it. Those 20 things are not all getting done. So I have to kind of like, batch it based upon my own natural rhythm and kind of when when I know that my focus is the strongest, right, which is not usually before I've had a couple of cups of coffee. Well, there's a couple things I've been trying to do. I'm actually doing a hypnotherapy session like before I go to bed, that is to help me sleep, which has actually really been helping because my anxiety was getting so bad that I was waking up at 2am every morning. So that has at least stopped that now. It does not stop my dog from waking me up at two o'clock in the morning but At least, that doesn't happen every morning. The Great Pyrenees is like, if I if, if I don't pay attention to her, she will start like, she'll start pulling me. And then if I still don't get up, she will stand on my side of the bed, and then like, stand over me and pull me. She does not take no for an answer if she wants to go outside at 2am. But then, it's only because the other Great Pyrenees is outside barking thanks, but been getting up in the morning and actually doing another hypnotherapy like first thing in the morning, which really kind of helps to put my mind in the right place and helps me focus first thing in the morning, do you did the miracle morning for a while with me, didn't you back when I was doing the Miracle Morning. So it's kind of a similar concept where like, you get up and you do your meditation or whatever. So it's almost like my meditation, but it's more of a guided meditation because it's I'm listening to this hypnotist. But I'm still not, I'm not doing like all of the other things, even though I probably should be because it did really help me. But I can't seem to wake up before my children. Because the earlier I get up the earlier they get up. So it's been hard to stay on top of the Miracle Morning stuff. But at least starting with the hypnotherapy is really helped.

Danielle McCoy: 6:30

It will say that I think starting your day, kind of like slow, like doing something like that. Not instantly grabbing your phone, and checking your email and getting on Facebook and all those things definitely like helps your day run smoother. like wait, you know, wait an hour, before you pick up your phone and start actually doing things with it. I mean, we both work with our phones a lot. But that doesn't mean that has to be the first thing that we do when

Bonnie Von Dohre: 7:00

Well, it's tough because like I've gotten we get up. VAs in the Philippines. And so they like start working at 5am my time, but it's 6pm their time, right. And the one girl is usually done by noon. So yeah, a lot of times I'm getting up and checking to see if they had any questions for me while I was sleeping so that they can then finish up their work, you know, before their workday is over. Right. But the problem is, is like I would go, I would pick up my phone to check their messages. And a lot of times they wouldn't have questions most of the time. They're just saying good morning. And they kind of like they know that I'm not available until I tell them good morning. So they've kind of learned like not to start asking me questions until then, which kind of gives me a little bit of a break too, because then I know that like I don't need to check in with them. As soon as my eyes open, I can kind of take care of some other things first, and then get to that, right. But the problem is, is I would pick up my phone just to check that and then yeah, and then I'm jumping on checking my notifications for everything else. So I don't know if you've noticed this, the new iOS 15 update on the iPhone that just came out. So you can set specific focus times. So rather than just turning on Do Not Disturb, like you can have a focus time for work, you can focus time for school focus time for like, I have one set for my morning routine and my bedtime routine. And you can drag certain apps to like just one screen on your phone. And then when you set that focus time you set that as the screen for your focus time. So you can't see any of the other apps. Now, I can still scroll over and go to the search bar and search for an app. Right, which I've been kind of bad about continuing to do. But I'm not being bombarded with all of my apps on the screen either. Like I have these, like this is my focus time that I'm focusing on these apps only. And it's usually my routine app that has like my kind of my checklist for the day. I have my Pomodoro timer think I do have to have Asana, or I don't know, I have like a couple work related apps, but they're very, like tasks specific. It's not like, you know, I go and I'm scrolling Facebook, or I'm scrolling my email and all of a sudden it makes me think of all these other things that I need to be doing and adding to my list.

Danielle McCoy: 9:43

Right!

Bonnie Von Dohre: 9:43

Because yeah, like you start out your day, thinking about all the things and all you're going to do is overwhelm yourself and you're just setting a day of anxiety and busyness. And so I think it's really good like even if, like one thing that I need to do on a daily basis, that really does help me when I sit down and do it, having like having a brain dump and thinking about all of the things that need to be done, and writing out everything, but then you go back through and you prioritize, and you decide, like, you pick just three things that are going to be your focus for the day. And if three things are too much, then you just pick one thing that's going to be your focus for the day. And then you just set everything else aside. And I know some people that will recommend crumpling up the paper and throwing it away. I can't do that, because there are some things on that list that I may never think of again. So I will still keep the list. But it's really like, gratifying to me to go back through that list and cross off things either after they've been done or when they're no longer applicable. Or, you know, I can go back through and I can decide, okay, these are things that I don't need to do that I can delegate to somebody else. But that way it really rather than, like, I get all of the thoughts out of my head and put them onto paper. But then also, I'm kind of letting my brain know, alright, you don't have to worry about all these things anymore. Because the only thing that we're going to focus on today is going to be this, this and this. And that's it.

Danielle McCoy: 11:18

Right.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 11:19

And I get a lot more done just focusing on those three main things, then bouncing all over the place trying to because I'll spend half the day trying to remember what it is that I'm forgetting.

Danielle McCoy: 11:31

Right, right. So what, maybe, give me an example, your three things.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 11:41

Um, I mean, if we're talking work related, it might be, I'm gonna write a blog post. But it might be like, my, if I have a big project, like say, I am going to weed the garden, that's going to be the only thing I'm going to focus on today. Right now, while I'm weeding the garden, I'm probably also going to be picking up sticks and putting stuff in the burn pile. And like there's gonna be other little things while I'm outside. But my main focus is just going to be cleaning, clearing out all the weeds in the garden beds. I mean, honestly, like if, if I'm, if it's a work related task, and my main focus for the day is I'm just going to get this blog post written, that's probably going to be the only thing I'm going to accomplish for the day, because by the time I finished with that blog post, and the research and the structuring and all the things, right, my brain is going to be fried, and I'm not gonna be able to focus on anything else. Right now, I could turn around, knock out a few, like small things that don't require the mental energy after I'm done. But, you know, that's going to be the only thing that's going to get done that day.

Danielle McCoy: 12:48

So do you make a list? Like, your three things just for work? Or do you just make three things?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 12:57

Three things total.

Danielle McCoy: 12:58

just so I could you make the like, my list, I mean, I do something similar, but I'll take like, Okay, I have to do laundry, and that's my house work for the day, or I have to do weed the garden, that's my outdoor work today, or I need to clean the rabbit cages or clean out the chicken coop or something like that, something that's gonna take me a while, but not necessarily three weeks, like weeding the garden. And then, like my work tasks would be you know, like, like writing a blog post or, you know, reworking one or scheduling social media or something. So I would pick, like three tasks that I can accomplish across different. You know what I mean? I don't know.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 13:41

Right now, do that. Oh, I know, you can do that too. But like, okay, for instance, okay, you know that my homeschool Co Op Day is on Thursday. I am not gonna get anything else accomplished, right, right after I get home from Co Op, because my brain is going to be fried. Now, I don't consider laundry as like one of my big tasks for the day. Because I have that worked into like my daily rhythm. Not

Danielle McCoy: 14:04

to I just was using it as an example. Like, like today, I've cleaned all the floors. And that's not really a daily rhythm thing. So that was my task for the day to make sure yeah. The fireplace clean that did the all the floors. Right?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 14:19

I mean, yeah, like I will, I'll go through. I mean, I will like hyper focus on something. So I will decide. I am rearranging the living room today. And I will spend the entire day cleaning decluttering and reorganizing the living room. And then I will probably be fried for the next like three days.

Danielle McCoy: 14:38

But yeah, that's like a big, big task. That's not even a mop and glide across the floor. Right? And that's

Bonnie Von Dohre: 14:45

it. I'm not saying to like take six hours just to focus on one thing because then you're going to be fried the next three days. Like I said, you know, I I'm starting my day with my hypnosis and then you know, I have like a morning routine that I set so I will normally go out and make my coffee. After I've had my coffee, I will come back, make my bed, do take my vitamins in my medicine, that kind of stuff because I need something in my stomach before I take my vitamins. And yes, I should probably eat breakfast but I just I don't know, I'm just not a breakfast eater.

Danielle McCoy: 15:24

I have salad.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 15:26

Well I have collagen in my coffee though. Or collagen or I don't know what collagen. It has an A in it. So I call it collagen.

Danielle McCoy: 15:36

It's co ll ag en.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 15:39

Alright, whatever call we want to sound sophisticated or doesn't like I don't know what they're gonna. Alright, so the collagen seems to be enough to kind of buffer the vitamins. I think my problem is I was eating a lot of bread for breakfast, which was not helping the weight loss journey. So the problem is like I can't bring myself to eat anything other than bread for breakfast, so I just drink coffee. This episode was brought to you by kitchen botanicals, your sustainable gardening headquarters. Stop by kitchenbotanicals.com and get a look at our 2022 seed varieties as well as supplies and pest control products to help you with your organic garden. 2022 is a great time to take care of yourself with our Pampered Gardener Subscription Box. Every month you'll receive all natural self care products, untreated heirloom seeds, high quality garden tools, organic garden amendments, cute impractical supplies and fun products that we know you'll love. This is your opportunity to take care of yourself in the garden, I started the pampered gardener subscription box, because I had gone through a time of not taking care of myself and dealing with the stress that it put onto my body I was ill I was tapped out and I felt like I couldn't possibly pour any more out of my empty cup. So I created the pampered gardener subscription box for women like me who wanted to get back to what they enjoy, but also wanted to love themselves. So we've put together this collection of gardening and self care products that are geared towards women who love to garden, you'll get things such as gloves, lotion, bags, hats, sunscreen, mosquito repeller things that you can actually use, but also things that you'll enjoy. And don't worry, there will still be plenty of gardening tools, seeds, we've created a subscription box like no other by gardeners for gardeners order your own box today. Anyway, but yeah, so I'll do I'll make my bed, do the vitamins. And then that's when I ended up like pulling out a little laundry, putting it on the bed to fold switch, you know, switch on laundry out, get that rolling. So then I can kind of like do laundry between tasks throughout the day. As long as I start it, you know, start that process going first thing in the morning, right? And of course it has to start with making my bed because if I don't have a flat surface to fold the laundry, then it's all for nothing, so..

Danielle McCoy: 18:24

I start a load in the morning, I'll grab one of the baskets and throw it in the wash. And then like at lunchtime, I'll put it in the dryer. And then usually by dinnertime at some point we end up getting it fallen away. Most days. Most days. Yeah. Sometimes it sits in the dryer.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 18:44

Sometimes we got to run the washer a couple of times. Yeah, well, I

Danielle McCoy: 18:48

got a lot better because all summer I hung my laundry

Bonnie Von Dohre: 18:51

out. Speaking of rhythms, like I really enjoy hanging my clothes on the clothesline. Because it kind of it's calming for me and it really gives me some time to just think and there's a rhythm to hanging the clothes on line and pinning and you know, and all that. It's soothing to me, in a way I like to do. Yeah, it's kind of interesting, cuz now that I think about it, like think about things that are rhythmic like that, that are actually good for my anxiety. Like I think that's also why I like knitting and crochet and like anything I like, like repetitive action. I get bored with certain things, but I like just yeah, like things that are when there's a pattern to them, I guess. Right. Like I think it also is is part of our biology like it's it's ingrained in us because, I mean, it's kind of why we're talking about this today anyway is just when we are able to keep a rhythm from day to day and we have Like, our mind has that consistency. And these things become muscle memory. And we're kind of we're going based off of our own. Like I said, like when, you know, you'll have a certain time of the day when you know you have more focus or you know, more energy, things like that. Right? So, when you are designing your day around your natural energies, then it really it brings you more peace and kind of like your brain likes knowing what's coming next.

Danielle McCoy: 20:35

I think that, you know, you can do this even, I mean, we both work from home, but I think you can do it even I know, when I worked outside the home, I still kind of had my own rhythm and routine. It was easier my days off, of course, but like I we used to work day shift when we can we weren't afternoons the next week. So I knew on the my diet and my day shift weeks that nothing was going to get done. Because I'm not a morning person. And by the time I got home, even though I had several hours, I didn't feel like doing anything. But on my afternoon weeks, I could get up and get things done before I went to work. And I still had energy when I got home until I had..

Bonnie Von Dohre: 21:14

right. Yeah. Well, and actually, it's funny, you mentioned that I actually feel like I was in more of a rhythm. I mean, okay, yes, my working days were also pre kids. So I can't say for sure that this was a working thing or a pre kid thing. But I had, like I had a better rhythm to my days when I was working. Because I had to get up, I had to be at work at a certain time. You know, there were certain things that had to be done at work at a certain time. And then of course, I came home at a certain time. What's interesting is, I was actually like, my most productive when I was working night shift. Because I could get up like I didn't need to be at work until six o'clock at night. So I'd get up at one o'clock in the afternoon, I knew I had several hours to get stuff done before work, and then go to work come home, like I was working like six, six. So I'd get home like seven or eight. And then I just go straight to bed after I get home and sleep until one. But it's it's been more difficult, not working because I don't have like, you know, someone, something whole, like hanging over my head saying you have to do this at this time. Right. However, I was also better with my rhythms before I had kids. Because now I try to set a rhythm or routine for myself, and I'm constantly getting interrupted by everything they need. So my daily routine and schedule and everything is revolving more around their natural rhythms, even though trying to actually get them to do things based on their rhythms is a totally different story.

Danielle McCoy: 23:09

I've gotten mine to do pretty good. I know basically, like, it's, if we don't do school at x time, then I'm going to fight with them for hours. I mean, we're going to get it done. But it's not going to be an enjoyable experience for anyone involved. So I know that I know. They're they do their best right after breakfast, and they have to get up and they have to eat and they have to get dressed and they have to do their morning routine. And then we can have school and we get done in a timely fashion and everybody learns something and listens and we enjoy it. And if it doesn't happen that way, like tomorrow, it won't because I have an appointment. So it'll be complete havoc in four hours because they don't want to do it. So but I have gotten them to kind of recognize their own natural rhythms and when they best do best at certain things so that we can kind of I have to follow their rhythm whether I want to or not because their kids.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 24:12

Yeah. Unfortunately, we can't just let everything revolve around us. Well, and for me, it's tough. I mean, one my kids enjoy mornings not as much as I do. So getting them up is always a struggle except for you know, the youngest who is. I don't know he must be awake before I wake up. I know he's okay. Let me back up. So this kid will fall asleep with me. In my bed at eight o'clock. My husband will carry him back to his bed. We will go to bed. He will come back to about 3am He's crawling back into my bed. And then as soon as I wake up, he is sitting up in bed. Good morning, Mommy. So I don't know exactly what time he's waking up, but it's definitely about five minutes before I wake up. So there is no waking up beforehand, the other two, then I have to like fight and struggle with them to get them up. Now, yes, I know that if I had just stuck with getting them up early, when they were four years old, they would probably get up earlier. Because all of them went through that thing where they all woke up early at one point in their lives, right. And then I encouraged them to sleep in so that Mommy could just have five more minutes of silence. And now I have an 11 year old who doesn't want to wake up before 10. So I don't even get myself up at seven. So our biggest struggle is one getting the kids up. But then we have to get the animals fed first thing, and the biggest thing is, the 11 year old is supposed to feed the rabbits, a task that should take like 30 minutes at the most. And I swear this kid can find a way to make it last for hours. So usually, like, that's usually the biggest sticking point with our day going off the rails is just him just not getting up and doing that chore first thing, right. Because if anyone gets onto an electronic or turns on the TV puts in a movie, whatever, then it's going to be a battle like the rest of the day to keep them on task. So and I mean, really, he's 11, he's old enough that he should be able to be, you know, more responsible with his schedule and be able to set his own rhythm for the day, his own routine. We're kind of struggling with, you know, some ADHD tendencies, which I know is my own struggle, which is like, it's a bit of a catch 22 because on one hand, you do a whole lot better with a routine. And on the other hand, do you have a hard time sticking to a routine because your brain is all over the place? Right. So it's probably gonna be one of those things where I really just need to take some time to sit down with him one on one, and just consistently work with him to figure out what his routine is going to be for every day. And like, just dedicate some time every single morning until he gets that down. And it becomes habit for him. Because I think it's just been I've been so busy with the two little ones that I haven't given him the focus. And unfortunately, if he goes off the rails, it throws everybody else off. Because if I can't get him to focus and stay on task, I definitely can't get the younger ones.

Danielle McCoy: 27:59

The we trade tasks. So like one morning, it'll be my job. And I usually take our little upset with me, and I'll go feed the chickens in the rabbits. And then the next day, it'll be my oldest who's 11. And then the next day, it'll be my 10 year olds turn, and then we'll go back through it. And the only time it's any different is on the weekends, sometimes we'll just have one of the kids go out and do it, or I will do it or my husband will do it. But I've gotten into the habit of getting them up to seven if they're not already up. And they have to get dressed. And they have to brush their hair. And they have to do whatever their chores are. So like if it's my oldest turn to go feed the animal and my 10 year old is supposed to be emptying the dishwasher. And then my job is always to gather up all the laundry. They have to keep in their basket, but I go get it from their room and I'll put it in the washing machine. And I'll start the washer and my four year old helps me with that. And so they everybody always has a job. And then we breakfast and then we sit down or I have school and then we start our afternoon stuff after school and it seems to work. It's just we have things like appointments or something that throws off it makes

Bonnie Von Dohre: 29:12

Monday I will say that. For the most part I really try to schedule our appointments in the afternoon. Because I know how our mornings usually go and I know how hard it is for us to get anywhere before lunch. The only down or the only the only appointment I have trouble with where that is concerned is the kids dentist because the youngest is four. Like he all of the little kids like basically I think it's like under six or something like that. He wants them before lunch for their like all of their dental appointments. And of course, since I try to schedule all three of them at the same time, it means we all have to be there, at like 10:00 10:30 for dental appointments, and the dentist is an hour away. So, you know, but that's only a couple times a year generally. And that's really the only the only doctor we have that has that stipulation. And it makes sense because, like, it's a lot less of a struggle for the little ones, if they're seen first thing in the morning, because that's kind of when they're their happiest. You see them in the afternoon, and they're starting to get grumpy and tired. And then that's when they write more likely to have like anxiety and an overwhelm when it comes to being at the doctor. So. But otherwise, of course, we've got like dance is in the mornings, homeschool Co Op starts in the morning. I do think that having having something that kind of sets the pace for your day, helps to set that rhythm for the day, it helps everything to move more smoothly. I do think that having set meal times and forcing yourself to keep those set meal times helps things move smoothly, more smoothly, because nobody's getting hit nationally

Danielle McCoy: 31:14

eating those meal times. Awesome. Well, thanks. Well, because you end up you're you're hungry and that asks eat some protein in the morning. Well, yeah,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 31:27

well. There's, there's protein in my collagen. Talking about Alright, last thing I want to say is your bedtime routine can actually set the pace for your morning routine. So, and again, I'm I need to get better about this. Because I know that if I do things before bedtime, or as part of our bedtime routine that sets up my next day, then mornings probably wouldn't be so hard for us.

Danielle McCoy: 32:08

But yeah, it helps I try to sit down and write what my goals for tomorrow are in the evenings. And then we do like a weekly thing, but we'll talk about that a different time and maybe be a little more.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 32:21

Yeah, I am so tired by the end of the day. I don't I mean really like setting my goals or you know, doing my brain dump in the morning really is what's best for me mentally. Right. But what I could do in the evenings I do have a book that I keep misplacing.

Danielle McCoy: 32:46

Did you lose it again?

Bonnie Von Dohre: 32:47

No, no, no, no, I have that book. This is a different

Danielle McCoy: 32:50

Oh okay..

Bonnie Von Dohre: 32:54

So this is a habit journal. And it really doesn't like you're not setting your intention for the entire day like you're not setting your goal for the next day. All you're doing is you're just outlining what your morning is going to look like so you're just saying like okay, these are the five things I'm going to do for my morning routine. This is the time this is the time I'm going to go to bed this is the time I'm gonna wake up these are the three things I'm going to do as soon as I wake up and then at the end of the day you're supposed to write Okay, well I think when you wake up you're supposed to also like write down what you're making wake up mood is but then the next night you write down kind of like how did your day go the day before and then you set your you know your morning routine for the next day. But the other the other piece of that is okay if you know like I've got these things I need to do in the morning or maybe I've got this appointment or this place I've got to be in the morning then you can go ahead and the night before like okay just have a What does fly lady call it the launch the launch pad

Danielle McCoy: 34:01

oh yeah lady Yeah, years ago

Bonnie Von Dohre: 34:05

Okay, so Launch Pad has never worked super well for me because I can never keep an area of my counter consistently clean to have it serve as the launch pad.

Danielle McCoy: 34:17

I'm pretty sure gonna have to follow the rest of her ideas

Bonnie Von Dohre: 34:22

work below today to keep the chaos away leave me alone.

Danielle McCoy: 34:27

There you go. All right.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 34:29

I'm still covering chaos but I'm doing a low today. All right. Except for those days when I have to rewatch. I do well when it's empty do I swipe and wipe every morning? No. Do I shower every morning? No. Do I get dressed to shoes every morning? No. Really reason I had to pause there is I had to remember if I actually wear pants every morning, but anyway.. all of this stuff worked really well until I started adding multiple children to the mix. Let me just say, right now, alright. But back to the launching pad, it does not, it does not need to be like an area of your countertop or whatever. What I have actually found worked well for me is I use my dining room chair, probably not the best thing, but it's, it's visible. And yeah, flat surfaces become just dumping grounds in my house. And yes, I try really, really hard to like not let that happen. But it's it's just where we are right now it's the season of our life right now. But the stuff is less likely to accumulate on the chair that I sit in every day. Because that's usually the same dining room chair that I'm sitting in when I'm like filling seat orders and doing work. So I put the stuff in the chair that I'm going to need for the next morning, because I can't sit in the chair without seeing the stuff.

Danielle McCoy: 36:13

Or, you know,

Bonnie Von Dohre: 36:14

even better yet, like you can go ahead and put stuff in your car, if you're going to be going somewhere the next day, go ahead. And you know, like for us, you've got homeschool Co Op. So go ahead and put backpacks and the karate uniform or the dance stuff or, you know, in the car the night before, so that way, because honestly, getting my children out the door is half the battle.

Danielle McCoy: 36:37

Like I know, you say it doesn't work for you. But like I said I to sit down and mark off the things that I accomplished. And look at, you know, like, the next day and make sure if I have an appointment that I know that, you know, my rhythms and routines are going to be off because of the appointment regardless of when it falls during the day. And if I don't, then I schedule my, you know, like, I'll have work tasks on one side, and that I want to get accomplished for the week. And so I'll pull one of those tasks and put it in my work time. And then like if we have like a school project, or you know, I have my kids do book reports and stuff like that. And so if one of those are due or that we need to start one, and I need to instruct them through that, I'll make sure that I write it on my calendar for the next day so that I don't forget to do it for an appointment, of course goes on there, or if I need to go clean out rabbit cages or whatever it is. And so I try to make sure that I put like three or four things that I want to get accomplished at a certain point during the day. And I'll put them into like the morning for the rabbit cages or work is in the afternoon. So I'll put my work tasks in the afternoon or, you know, whatever it is and try to put in a different slot during the day, not necessarily a certain time. I don't do time things that's more of a, you know, like this should happen in the afternoon.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 37:55

Right? This time, your time blocking, but you're not like devoting it to a time.

Danielle McCoy: 38:04

Right. Yeah. The only thing that we do at a specific time really is I make my kids get up at seven right now. I mean, we have a bedtime routine, but it's not we just kind of follow whatever the rhythm of the day is. And if everybody's tired early, because we had a long day, then we go to bed earlier. And if everybody's still all wound up, then we go to bed later.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 38:27

Yeah. Although I will say. I mean, like I said, my four year old tends to go to bed at eight o'clock. But if I can start the others, winding down at eight, right, even if that means like, we're putting away the video games, we still may like stick in a movie. But again, it's part of that like just kind of getting everyone to wind down. You know, I try to

Danielle McCoy: 38:53

avoid screens in the morning. And in the evening, because about blue light. And it messes with your circadian rhythm. So, like an hour before bed is, you know, like our bedtime routine of getting them ready for bed. And we'll read a book together like, you know, do a read aloud for part of our homeschool in the evening ready for bed or whatever it may be. So that we don't have the screens on because it just gets them all

Bonnie Von Dohre: 39:19

right. Yeah. I think the hardest part with that might be actually like breaking my husband of not turning on the TV at night. Well, yeah.

Danielle McCoy: 39:29

And I mean, we got we were in a bad habit of get them to bed and then turn it back on. And then I'm all wound up right? Blue light. So

Bonnie Von Dohre: 39:38

yeah, well, and if we even try to turn the TV on after they've, like gone to bed, then they're right back in the living room. They want to see what's on TV. So Right. That's tough to but I know it's hard for him because, you know, he's like, you know, he's been working all day and he wants to just kind of like be entertained. But

Danielle McCoy: 40:03

my numbing television.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 40:05

Right? I mean, I guess the only good news is because we really have no internet right now. He can't like sit there and watch the news or stream anything. So last night we watched her well actually, it wasn't even me because I was laying down with the two little ones. Him and the 11 year old watch Braveheart. But that was that was actually kind of amusing because like I'm laying in bed and I can hear the 11 year old asking all these questions like, Are they dead? Why are they all hanging there like that like? Like, oh, this child better than the two younger ones because the six year old hates the word dead or died. And so she wants she wants everyone to replace the word dead with passed away. And then the four year old really only because he knows how much it drives the six year old nuts says that he hates the word passed away. So he wants everyone to say everything is dead. So then they get into these arguments over whether or not the person is dead or passed away.

Danielle McCoy: 41:19

Maybe we should just say expired.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 41:24

The new the new term that I really like that I've been hearing a lot lately is analyzed,

Danielle McCoy: 41:29

analyzed.

Bonnie Von Dohre: 41:34

They've been alive. The thing with sending over them is also giving yourself the flexibility and the grace to accept that not every day is going to be as productive as you want it to be.

Danielle McCoy: 41:49

But like yesterday, we got like nothing done until like 10 o'clock, I finally decided we've really should finish bitstream that year. It was just one of those

Bonnie Von Dohre: 42:00

days. Yeah. That's it for today's episode. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Grounded and Simplicity podcast. If we were able to help you in any way, please share this episode with a friend. And also leave us a review on Apple podcasts. You can also join us over on Patreon at Grounded Simplicity and help to support this podcast as well as become a patron and get a behind the scenes look at the creation of our podcasts and even have some input on future episodes. We will catch you next time!