Meet the Host - Naveh Eldar: Work, Mental Health, Podcasting

The first episode of season two features host Naveh Eldar being interviewed by his friend of over 35 years, Angelo Singleton. Naveh speaks about his career, mental health and podcasting. Please be aware that parts of this episode discusses suicide and suicidal Ideations.

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Transcript

Naveh Eldar  0:00  
There was an older Cherokee man who was talking to his grandson. And he looked at him and he said, inside of me, there are two wolves fighting. One is hate, and malice, and pride, and jealousy, and violence in everything that's bad. And the other wolf is love and compassion, and empathy, and all the positive things that we see. And, and they are constantly at war inside of me and their war inside of you, and their war inside of everybody. And so the grandson looked at his grandfather, and he was like, well, Grandpa, which wolf is gonna win? And the grandfather said, whichever wolf you feed,

Angelo Singleton  1:06  

Welcome to the landscape, a podcast for people, programs and businesses, changing the landscape for individuals with any type of disability. I'm your guest host Angelo Singleton. I have been friends with regular host Naveh Eldar for over 36 years. And I'm very excited to interview him to learn about his career, mental health challenges and what motivates him. You'll hear in this episode, that while we have been great friends for decades, there was a lot that I didn't know about him, and not talking about mental health is an ongoing problem, especially with men. Please be aware that part of this episode talks about suicide and suicidal ideations, the conversation starts with a speaking about where he is in his career, and how he got there.

Naveh Eldar  2:30  
You know, right now, professionally, I am considered a subject matter expert around support employment for people with disabilities. And so what supported employment is, there's a group of individuals, people with more significant disabilities. So it could be an intellectual disability, it could be a person that's experiencing, you know, some some kind of psychotic disorder, and they need help in both obtaining and maintaining employment. And so there's different methods. And there's different types of support that you can give individuals, you know, based on what they need. And what I've done in the last several years of my career is both study those methods and put them into practice. And then just so over time, from learning from some of the best people in the country, in doing this, I have, in turn turned myself into, you know, what you would consider to be a subject matter expert. And it's kind of unusual how I got into this particular line within the disability community, because I've been working in nonprofit for the majority of my career, not all of my career, but for the majority of it. But I've done everything from being a case manager for people with severe and persistent mental illness, to being a day treatment therapist, to working with kids in foster care who were at the age of about to age out of foster care. So I've done lots of things. So how I got into employment was I was over a program at a mental at a nonprofit mental health agency in Nashville. And I was a supervisor of a program that was a smaller program for people who need it more intense supports and groups. And so I was just over that one small program. And the agency decided to get rid of that program and just meld it into the bigger program that they had. Right. And so basically, my position was going away and I was a supervisor at the time. And they said, if you want to stay as a supervisor, the only position we have open is on the employment team to be the the supervisor of the employment team. I had a family. I did not want to have a demotion so I was like, sure, you know, I'm open for it. And so I was really going into something that I wasn't super, super familiar with. And so I went into that position and You know, what I tell people is every job that I had before that we always had this mantra of, you know, we're going to change people's lives, we're going to work ourselves out of a job, we're going to, you know, all these wonderful things we were going to do to elevate people with disabilities lives, but it never happened. Right. So an example of that, if I was a case manager, I could have the same person on my case management caseload for 20 years, right. And if I was doing day treatment therapy, I could have an in you see it, there will be people who are coming to the same day treatment therapy for decades, right. And so I was like, Well, I don't see the progress in that. And then when I got into employment, within a month or two, I saw that when individuals got a competitive integrated job in the community, their entire life changed. And that, like just lit a fire under me, because I'm like, Oh, my gosh, this is finally like, truly changing lives. on a level that I was, was always wanting to do. People that were homeless, ended up, you know, could now get apartments, people who had kids, and didn't see them, because they were embarrassed that they couldn't even buy me a birthday present. We're now like reconnecting with their families, and even like reduced symptoms, and people. So even if people were like, on their, on the best medicine available, doing therapy, all of that, but they were still experiencing, let's say some, you know, audio hallucinations or things like that, when they started working, those decreased, right? And so everything about employment was positive. And then my co, she got a journal, I can't remember what journal it was. And she brought it to me. And she said, Hey, there is a research method, method of employment called individual placement support out of Dartmouth College, that's in this journal, just read it if you're interested. So of course, I was interested. And I read this article, and the one I've always been interested in research into, I understand that there is not nearly enough research in this field as there should be. If you look at the progression of disability services, we always operate from a place of what feels like is the right thing to do. So there was a time when people should be institutionalized to keep them safe. That's what we felt was right. Then it was, Oh, well, maybe they can work. But they should work in like a safe setting surrounded by Bubble Tape. And we're nothing bad can happen to them to Oh, they can work in the community. But they can only do these jobs to you see what I'm saying? So it was always just like what we thought, and none of it was based on somebody sitting down and researching what is the best. So Dartmouth College did that.

I fell in love with the model. By the time I read it, they had already been doing the research for almost 20 years. It wasn't in Tennessee at all, though not not one agency was using this model. So my CEO gave me permission. Her name is Barbara Quinn and I will forever be thankful for her for that. She gave me permission to get a training from Dartmouth for me and my entire team. And to start using this this model, which is a has a fidelity model and has 25 different fidelity points. My team and I did it, it completely changed the way we were providing services.

For an example, because I think it is important one is very common, like I said, to see people with disabilities working and what I say is food and filth. So they're wiping down tables, they're bagging groceries, you know, this is this is where you usually see them. So Dartmouth said, you're going to get points taken off, and I'm sorry, because they're not with Dartmouth anymore anymore. They've actually broken off and are their own entity now. But at the time it was it was IPS through Dartmouth. They said, You know what, you're gonna get points taken off if you have too many people in the same type of jobs because that means you're not being person centered. That means you're putting people in jobs that you think they should go in and not what people are actually you're not taking the time to really see where they want to work because clearly not everybody wants to wipe down tables or back groceries, right. And so we went from in a year placing people in like, I would say, eight, maybe eight different employers because we will put several people with one employer like goodwill or McDonald's or something like that, to like 35 different employers like in one year we had this like explosion of variety of employers. So now they're like they were like working in banks and working in and, you know, the zoo and all over the place. So So this was wonderful. Well, our department Many of mental health and substance abuse, they started looking at IPS to bring it to the entire state of Tennessee. And the leadership at IPS. at Dartmouth. They said, well, there's an agency that's been doing this for a couple years now, it Park center in Nashville, why don't you talk to them. So they came to my agency met with me, really liked what we were doing. They felt that I could help them to train IPS across the state, they got an agreement with my agency that they would pay part of my salary. And that I would like be the director at this point I was, I was promoted to director of the support employment team, and for like, 60% of the time, and then 40% of the time, I was training this model across the state. Okay, so then, so now I'm like on the statewide level, and then I started getting invited to do things like radio spots on local talk radio, I was invited to speak at Mental Health Day on the hill. One year, I was asked to speak to some of our lawmakers to explain to them what IPS was to see if it was something they wanted to invest in. And so I was getting all this exposure. And then from that, at that time, there was this brand new in the country model of M CEOs or insurance companies overseeing services for people with an intellectual and developmental disability. And there's a huge emphasis on employment and support employment. And so when Blue Cross Blue Shield of Tennessee, which is the biggest insurer in Tennessee, they got a contract with our Medicaid services, which we call tenncare. To do that, and so they, some people that were working at BlueCross, BlueShield, Tennessee knew me from my work with IPS across the state. And so they reached out to me and to see if I was interested, and I applied. And it was a very interesting interview process. Because when I met with she's now a VP, you go through several interviews at Blue Cross Blue Shield, and some of them are panel interviews. And so I was in the last interview, and in an art now VP was there. And she said, you know, do you have any, any questions for me, and I told her that, you know, nonprofit doesn't pay a ton of money. And so I was a director, and I had dreams of being a CEO one day, because I thought that would make me be financially stable, and I loved the agency I was at. And I said, you guys are offering me a significant raise in my salary. But I'm still struggling with thinking about really, you know, it will accept this job if you offered it to me, because the work is so important to me. And I can't sell myself, I can't sell my soul for a paycheck. And she very sincerely told me that everything that I'm doing everything I was doing, then she wanted me to continue and more she was like we can, we can offer you a bigger platform to make even a bigger impact impact across the state. Because now you have this not just a small nonprofit, or the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse behind you, but you have this very large insurance company behind you. And so I believed her when she said it, I felt that she was being sincere. And I came on board and and it's they've exceeded my expectations and and how much they support me. And it's almost like anything I can come up with that can forward this work. They are just even more proud of me. And they just support it. 100% So it's, it's been a wonderful, wonderful move for me. And that's how I got to where I am today of being like I said the subject matter expert and sitting on you know, like statewide workgroups and and panels around disability, specifically around employment.

Angelo Singleton  14:20  
What drives you, which what's your passion? Where does it come from? You know, like, create this podcast, you know, off of work.

Naveh Eldar  14:28  
Yeah, so, right. So this podcast was a passion project. I get no money from it, but my job endorses it, but they don't, you know, it's not under them. You know, I would have to say, you know, going back to the interview of when I was talking to Stephanie and I said it wasn't about the money. There are certain things that are more important for money and for me, I have learned that this type of work it is It is what's important for my, you know, not to try to sound dramatic, but it's important for my survival. And there's a lot to unpack, and making that statement. So like, you know, what does that mean? It's and it's important for your survival. So, you know, I have since I was in my early no pre 20s when I was 19. You know, I started experiencing some pretty severe depression, I think that's safe to say, I had like, suicidal ideations. every waking moment for years, and then it was cyclical on Windows would come. And, and I learned through different ways that giving back and helping, was, was the only thing that helped me to cope with that, like, you know, that that that was my, my therapy, so to speak. Yeah. And so there's, like I said, there's like, kind of a lot to unpack in that statement as well.

Angelo Singleton  16:09  
Right. So, you know, I've known you for over 30 years. And, you know, I never knew, I never knew that. So, and, you know, my brother suffer with mental health and depression and things like that. And we never knew that either, right? Something in our community that we don't talk about? What Why, why do you feel the need that it's necessary to talk about it now? You know,

Naveh Eldar  16:36  
I started talking about it, believe it or not, with certain people. When when I was in college, I think that my college roommates were very aware of it. My brother was super aware of it, he made me get therapy. He didn't make me I take that back, he asked me to get therapy. And because he means so much to me, I did. So there were people that knew about it, but I will tell you. So I want to go back. And so for the people listening, you and I became friends, right around eighth grade, eighth, ninth grade, next grade, right to talk about. Because therapy didn't work for me. And people have have suggested medication to me, and medication wouldn't work for me. And why do I know that? So I do want to give a little bit of history because there is so much stigma around this. And like you said, People don't talk about it. And I just feel like I have to, I have to be able to talk about it publicly, and not just with a small group of friends, if I'm trying to remove the stigma, which is a huge reason. One of the reasons I'm doing this podcast, so if you go back to like the genesis of it, it was actually when I was 10. Before that I lived in a very middle class life. We lived in a middle class neighborhood, I went, I went to private schools. I'm the youngest of three children. My mom was a stay at home mom, we had two boats, we had a recreational boat. And my father had a fishing boat. We always have pets. And so it was very much a television lifestyle. With the exception of my dad is a black Americana. My mom is an Italian American, which played a big part of my upbringing. But you know, but for me, it was it was just like, that's just my family. And that's just you know, who I am. And then so around the age of 10. My father started in May, it may have started nine My memory is is very bad, because I also have post traumatic stress from this time period, which really messes with my my memory, which which is something I was going to talk about today too. But right around that time, my father started drinking heavily. And I think I can't tell you why for sure. Right. I don't know why. But we're from Akron, Ohio, and Akron was the the rubber city capital of the world. And I know around that time, a lot of plants started closing and my dad worked at a plant called Mohawk, which doesn't exist anymore. So I know that he did lose his job during that time period. And so that might have fed into it. I don't know my dad is if you met him, both both my parents have passed now, but if you if you would have met him, you would have thought that he was a very tough, manly man, right? Like he was a veteran. He was 6566. Stern but loving, but like if you really know him, he was a very sensitive individual. So I think that he didn't know like we're talking about right now. Why didn't you talk about it? I don't think that he ever wanted to talk about any of those feelings he was having. And so I think he drank because of that. And, you know, like I said, around the age of 10, he started drinking, I was always, as you guys know, I was always teased by my friends as being the sensitive. I was always sensitive, I noticed everything that people communicate both verbally and non verbally. My parents would sometimes bring people to me that or if they have friends, they will say, what did you think about them, because they did this as a small child. Because if I didn't like somebody, if I felt somebody wasn't

a good person to be around, I was never wrong. Right? So that was just like who I was. So my dad started drinking, and it got bad. And he isn't a kind, drunk, if I could say that, you know, we have different kinds of people, some people drink, and they just tell you that they love you. Oh, I love you so much. And all of that. That was not my dad, my dad was the opposite. It was, you know, you know, why don't you do this, right? And why, why? Why are you making that mistake and things like that. And at that time, it was really focused more towards my mother than us. And then also, at that time, my sister who's six years older than me, and she's my half sister. She started using drugs as well. And so she was actually pulled out of our house or moved out, which is something I honestly don't remember which which of the case it was. But, so she got into drugs like, so she was like, 1516 when this happened, and so she became addicted to like some pretty heavy drugs. And then my father was, like I said, dealing with alcoholism. So I came home one day and and our mother wasn't there. And of course, my mom was a stay at home mom, I was very much a mama's boy. Till the day she passed away. I was a mama's boy. And you know, Where's mom and her dad told us something that she was helping her grandmother who we were close, who she was very close with, or some some other such thing. And so then we just didn't see her or hear from her for weeks. Like I couldn't tell you how long it was, to me, it felt like forever, right? Because I'm because I'm like 1011. And, and I have zero idea where my mother was. And so I felt a sense of loss. At that time, there was grief, there was a grieving process that I was going through, because my mom wasn't there. So to me, it almost felt like she died because I had no idea how to get in contact with her where she was anything. And so she showed up and tried to take me to move in with her. And she was like, you know, I don't live here anymore. I'm taking you with me. My dad was always drunk. Like I literally at this point in life, never saw him sober. And so he became physical with her and grabbed her from we had we had a two story home and grabbed her by the arm. I'm upstairs in my bedroom was starting to pack. I'm just sobbing. He pulls her down the steps in my head. I'm just hoping she doesn't hurt herself. Because it sounds like she's being thrown down the steps. I don't think she was thrown down the steps, right? I hear our screen door break open. I hear her crying, crying, and then she's gone. And then now I really don't know. I don't know. So this is like how I found out that my parents were separated and divorcing. And then the next thing I remember is that she showed up with the police so that she can see us because because we had no contact with her phone or otherwise. What can my dad do? Right? He cannot stop me the police are there. So I go out. I actually go out to see her at the police car. And she said, I want you to move with me. Do you want to move in with me? So you have to understand the time period that I lived with my dad, which was this was some months this was I went to this was my sixth grade year, I was in four different schools when I lived with my dad, for different reasons. One, he tried to put me into private school and then the bills couldn't be paid that private school so I had to move. Then he wanted to put me into this better public school that was we weren't zoned for. And then they found out and they put me out. And then I went to Rankin. And then there's a very close family friend of ours who put their son in a elite private school called Old trail. And they arranged for me to take a test and I ended up getting a scholarship there. So I went there for free. So that was an old trail for a while as well. But there were times where like our laundry wasn't done. So my clothes were dirty. Didn't have clothes that fit me Never had food in the house. times when electricity was cut off. I mean, it was just it was hard man. You know, it was I would just leave the house first thing in the morning, and come back when it got dark because I just I didn't want to be in the house. And so when my mom asked me to move in, I jumped on that opportunity. And I told my dad, like, I want to move in with mom. And so he said, you can move in with your mother, he said, but know that you can never move back with me if you do. And that was to me, that was like a no brainer. I'm like, I'm going with my mom. So I moved in with my mom, I ended up going to two more schools while I lived with my mom, which is awesome, like this crazy story. So we moved into a trailer home, in in

roots town, Ohio. And so I live in a trailer home. So I'm like this, this black child living with his white mother in a trailer home in rural Ohio. There were two black kids in the school, me and another guy. But I'll tell you, I had a great time there. They were some some of the some of the sweetest people, kids I ever became friends with were in town and lived in that trailer park. Just just really good kids. And so but at that time, you know, there's no Facebook, there's no cell phones at that time. And so I went from not having my mother in my life at all, and having that grief process to not having anyone else in my family because I lived in a different city. Right. So now I'm close with my aunts and uncles and cousins, and my brother, my brother didn't come with me, he actually moved in with my aunt leatrice. And so now I'm grieving the entire rest of my family. So at different points in that short period of time, you know, I see this addiction, I see this, you know, very unstable house, I see, you know, went through some pretty traumatic moments. Just living with my dad, to, and not not knowing where mom is. And now I don't know where anybody else in my family is. And so I've kind of felt like in one year, that I literally lost every single person in my family. And so as a result of that, like for the rest of my life, like I do not miss people. I miss you when I see you, if that makes sense. So like when us like we were pretty tight group of friends. If you text me, it's like, oh man, Angelo, or if I'm like, I go back for Thanksgiving, and I see you guys. It's like, Oh, my gosh, I miss you guys so much. But like when I'm not in front of you, I do not think of you. And it all stems from that point in my life where I just had to learn that you can't just collapse and fall like these people aren't in your life anymore. So deal with it. You know what I mean? So I guess that's the way I dealt with it. And so I ended up we went there, my mom remarried. A gentleman her last name is Thompson now. So she remarried he, he was a drinker. And he hit her and gave her a black eye. And this is a story I do not remember. But my mom told it to me several times, because she was so proud of me. So at this time, I am 11 I guess 12? No, I guess I'll be 12 here. And she said, I very sincerely told him if you ever, ever touch my mother again, that that I will kill you. And I don't care if I have to wait for you to go to sleep for that to happen. Like I understood, you are bigger than me. But unless you're going to like be awake for the rest of your life, you know, and so that very much impacted him. It made him nervous. And he liked me, I would say I will say he was another one of those drinkers that they could get mean when he got drunk. But But he was at other times, super, super kind to me and very nice. So she ended up leaving him fairly fast. I think she had learned her lesson that this is not the life that she wanted. And then we move to a town right outside of Canton, Ohio. And so that was my sixth school in my sixth grade here. And so that was kind of like the genesis of everything that was like the first time I thought in my life, I don't want to be on this planet anymore. That was the first time that I started having these huge gaps in my memory. like weird stuff. Angelo. Like we you know, maybe I went to like somebody's birthday party, this big birthday party the year before and people are like, Oh, you remember so and so's birthday? And I'll be like, nope, and ever like what do you mean you don't remember like it was six months ago and have a you know, my name was Greg. I've had a name change but they'd like I was six months ago NaVi like I don't remember. So when I talk about how my mental health impacts me today,

my depression impacts my daily life less than less than that like that this post traumatic stress because an example of that is my my mother in law's 70th birthday. was last year, and my wife went to Israel to celebrate with her. And I don't remember that. Now, let's think about that for a second, like my wife, like, cannot believe that I don't remember taking her to the airport, her going to Israel sending me pictures all the time of the things they're doing to celebrate their 70th birthday. I'm here, you know, whatever, holding down the fort with my kids, and I do not remember that. And that's like, kind of typical with me. I just. And it wasn't till college that I learned that as a defense mechanism, my brain would forget bad things. But my brain can't decide what to forget. Like, it's not that precise. And so it just forgets chunks, you know, good or bad is going to forget chunks. And so I mentioned it earlier, but one of the big chunks is my brother and I both lived with my dad during that period. But I don't have any memories of my brother living in the house. None, zero. And so in my head, and in my memory, it was only me and my father in that house, even though I know that wasn't accurate.

Angelo Singleton  31:07  
Right? Why did you decide to create this podcast and listen to making episode?

Naveh Eldar  31:15  
Yeah. So you know, again, going back, you know, this podcast was, it feeds me and when I was in, in college, like that's what that's is weird, because you guys were such a support for me through high school. So all everything I just said, like takes us through eighth grade. And so in eighth grade, I moved back to Akron, I met you guys. I was as you know, I was like super into sports. I was super into school, we had this very close friendship. All of my family was around me at this time. Right, right. And uncles, I was back in a town with them, my brother was there. So I was pretty stable, and really didn't have any suicidal ideations at all it during that time. And then I went my my freshman year, within a month, all of that was stripped away from me. And I was like this open nerve. And so I started having all of these really, really intense thoughts to either harm myself, or for something else to harm me. Like, I wish that this bus would just crash. And I would go over a cliff. And the only thing at that time, honestly, that prevented me was my brother and my mother, because they just meant so much to me. My mom hit like work two jobs almost always to provide for me. And I was like, if I did this to her, it would, it would literally break her. So I was like, I, I can't I just have to like power through. You know, I told her I went to therapy, therapy didn't help at all. Because it wasn't what what bothers me isn't everything that I just talked about? What bothers me is the knowledge of this darkness that's out in the world, so to speak. And I can't cut my eyes off to it, and I can't cut my brain off to it. So you know, like to use an example, like, if you're walking down the street, you may see several homeless people, and we just don't think about them, right? Like we see them and we just keep moving. So like that part of my brain, I couldn't shut off. So like everything that was hurting, and everybody, I felt, right. And then I also felt hopeless and helpless to it. Like I can't change it, I can't make that person's life better. And so when I was in college, I did a practicum at rainbow babies and children's hospital with with kids that had chronic illnesses. And so it was like cancer, sickle cell anemia, things like this. And they were like 12 year olds. And when I was with those kids, I felt no depression. And it was it was so weird. And so bizarre. It was like this oasis of time, because every other I could be on a date with a girl I had a crush on for a year. And still, I would if you asked me, would you rather be on this date? Or would you rather immediately or crash into this building, and just take you out, I would say bring on the meteorite. But when I was with those kids, I didn't feel like that. So I did two more practicums. And when I did those practicums, the same. I had the same experience. One was with inner city kids who were in jeopardy of flunking out of school and so I tutored them. And another one was at a daycare for inner city kids. And so I worked with the kids in the daycare three to five year olds. And again, every time I worked with them, I felt better. So there's a story that I heard later in life that explained to me what I was feeling and this realization I have and so it's a Cherokee story, you know, of the Cherokee Nation. So there was a chariot there was an older Cherokee man who was talking to his grandson, and he looked at him and he said, inside of me, there are two wolves fighting one Is hate and malice and pride, and jealousy, and violence in everything that's bad. And the other wolf is love, and compassion, and empathy, and all the positive things that we see. And, and they are constantly at war inside of me. And they're war inside of you. And they're war inside of everybody. And so the grandson looked at his grandfather, and he was like, well, Grandpa,

which wolf is gonna win. And the grandfather said, whichever Wolf, you feed, right, and so like that really like brings us to even a lot of what we see in society right now. So that's how I saw it. Like, I understood that is an internal struggle that every single person has, but I also see it as a societal struggle. So if you live in Nazi Germany, and you hear this constant, governmental hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, they're feeding that part of you, right? And so it creates this darkness and people. And so I saw this as an opportunity for me to live in a world that I struggled looking at the world was to be impactful in the world and feeding that other wolf. And so like, all the work that I've done, that's brought me peace has been feeding that other Wolf, helping people that need help changing minds of people that have bias, all of these sorts of things. And so this podcast was just another way for me to do it on a global level, right? It's like, I have listeners, I forget what my end of the year things was, like in 36 different countries. And so in the end, I don't get paid for it. I've actually had people ask me if I wanted to have like a sponsorship, even if it's for one episode, right? So I can, like advertise for an event they were having or something like that. And I always say no, because I don't want anybody telling me what I should or shouldn't say on my show who I should have on who I shouldn't. And so this is truly a work of, you know, I honestly believe that everything we do is for selfish reasons. Even me, even you like everybody. And so my selfish reason for doing the podcast is that it brings me mental stability, it is my medication, so to speak. And again, that goes back to why I question taking the job I'm in now, although like I said, it was a wonderful decision. But at the time, most people would have been like, it's a no brainer, not very, like it'll, it changes your socioeconomic status quite a bit. But I'm like, What good is that if I'm gonna, like, harm myself, five years from now, right? Like that's, so the most important thing for me is survival. And the the thing that makes me survive, is to give back, so so that's why I started the podcast and what goes into making it so much, I have to get the guests, I have to decide on the guests, which is, you know, reaching out to different kinds of people. You know, like, if you're going to a company like ESPN, you have to go through their, you know, they have a public relations team. And so you have to go through that team. And I had, I had like four or five meetings with ESPN, before they came on the podcast, other people is just reaching out to them, even through Instagram, for example, and getting them to come on the show. And then I cobbled together like kind of what episodes I want, in what order. And then there's, oh, gosh, there's I told you before we started recording today, there's about I would say six to eight hours of editing that I have to do like per episode just to clean it up and make it sound as good as it can.

Angelo Singleton  38:57  
So tell me about some of your favorite episodes.

Naveh Eldar  39:01  
Some of my favorite episodes from season one, because we just this is the first episode of season two. I have to break this kind of into like categories because I honestly honestly, interviewed I only ask people on that I'm interested in speaking to and that are being truly being impactful to the community in a positive way. So I loved the episode with ESPN, just because of what they're doing and how big of a reach that they have. And I got to speak to three different people, their company and especially wolky Davo, who is their director of diversity and inclusion, which I'm super interested in diversity and inclusion on a global scale, not just around disability. So it was like super cool talking to her. This the person that I enjoyed speaking to the most from a fascination point of view was Linda bearnaise, who a movie should be made about this woman. She went through so much to become a lawyer in the Air Force. Ended up being a judge the judge of the Air Force for all of Europe. And then when she left the military, she ended up becoming a war crimes judge for the United Nations. And so like her story and her passion, and her the obstacles, she's overcome what was humbling to listen to. And the person that I felt I was the most like, was the VP at best buddies. Like he and I just I think both of us because we kind of email a little bit afterwards. It was like talking to just a kindred spirit, man. I mean, it was I just felt like, I got everything he said, he got everything I was asking. And we were just like, if we could run the world, we would, we could, we could do some stuff. So. But like I said, all of my guests I've really, really enjoyed talking to.

Angelo Singleton  40:58  
So what's in store for season two?

Naveh Eldar  41:01  
Yes, season one I was, you know, it just it took on a life of its own, which I liked. But then then when I looked back on it, I kind of wished that I had more diversity, I made a very conscious effort to deal with all disabilities, not just the ones I've worked with. So I've worked with severe persistent mental illness and intellectual developmental disabilities, which in itself are two completely different silos in the disability community. And so because of that, because of my knowledge that those two are two completely different silos. I was like, we shouldn't have silos in the disability community. So I wanted to touch on all disabilities. But I don't think I did a good enough job. So in season two, I already have on tap. Like, I have a guest coming up that has albinism. So she's an albino. And so for many people that have albinism, it caused them to have vision impairment. And so like, Who knew that right, so that's really cool. I have a couple guests to have limb differences, which was a big topic in the disability community this year because of the movie witches. And they portrayed the witches to have just two fingers, which is a common limb difference. And it was based on a book and that wasn't in the book. And so the disability community, especially those with a limb difference, were very offended by that. So I have a couple people coming on to talk about limb differences. One of them is a world champion, Taekwondo fighter from she's a British, and she's going to be in the Paralympics, but she is the current world champion right now. She is great. And then I have St. Jude is going to come on St. Jude hospital and talk about cancer. And I have a professor and lawyer from Cornell University to come on to talk about how benefits impact how employment impacts your benefits of going back to work. So I have some I have some cool stuff coming up this season. But But I diversity is a big emphasis I want to have

Angelo Singleton  43:04  
I know we were talking earlier, and you were saying that you were nervous to do this episode. talk more about that. Oh, yeah,

Naveh Eldar  43:12  
I my family was laughing at me too. I was nervous because it's blending. My I have a lot of people across the state of Tennessee, my biggest listenership is from Tennessee. And that's because I'm known here. You know, I train across the state I'm in like I said, I'm in different leadership groups across the state. And so many of those people listen from, you know, vocational rehabilitation. So department of intellectual developmental disabilities, to my own company, right. And so none of them know any of this about me in my personal life. And so as always, that that stigma, right, like, that's why anybody's nervous about talking about a disability is, is, you know, wondering what kind of stigma there might be. And then also, like, I have family members that listen to it, and, you know, hoping that they understand why I'm talking about our family. My family is super supportive of me, and they love me a ton. But there's probably things in here that they didn't know themselves. So yeah, so I was just nervous about the reaction I would get from colleagues and, and family was really to be honest.

Angelo Singleton  44:22  
That's definitely understandable. Okay, you often talk about loving the theater. When did that start for you? Ah,

Naveh Eldar  44:30  
yes. So I do love to theater Broadway is like one of my favorite places on the planet and Broadway shows I love and so, you know, Mrs. mogan, right.

Angelo Singleton  44:41  
Yes.

Naveh Eldar  44:42  
So she's also the mogan family is the family that actually helped me get into that school I was talking about, okay, her son and I went to this school, Zion Lutheran, starting in kindergarten, and we were we were best friends. And so when we were little, little locusts, and so the Why Angela knows Mrs. American is because she was the AP history teacher at our high school, where I ended up going and let me tell you, she was not she was the opposite of being easy on me because she's like, you have so much potential. And so if I made if I slacked in her class, she will let me know it. But when I was younger, her son and I were best friends. And she was teaching a book though, at the time. And they had a theater department, which they did not have when we went there, by the way, and they put on the Wiz. And so she took me and Nicolas to go see the Wiz. And so Gosh, I don't know, dude, I was probably like seven or eight years old. But I walked in, and you know, I don't know what to expect. And I walked in, it was so good. Especially I don't obviously, I don't know who was in the play. But the actor who played the young student who played the lion, was just like, mesmerizing, to me, his costume, his presence, and the singing was great. Even when we were there, booked out one of the best gospel choirs in the city, like we have some talented people in that school. And so I just walked out of there, at a very young age, absolutely enchanted by what I had seen, and it just made me want to see more. And so even going into my adult life, you know, I've always loved the theater. And so I think that it was Mrs. mogan, who put that seed in me at a young age.

Angelo Singleton  46:27  
I don't have any other questions on anything, yet,

Naveh Eldar  46:31  
there's, you know, there's something, you know, I don't know. And you can tell me, I can cut it out if you don't want to talk about it. But I'm probably the most stable I've been in my life. Since the age of, you know, like I said, When, when I was in high school, I was extremely, extremely, extremely stable. But since you know, since I've been experiencing depression, this is probably the most stable I've been, like I said, it's cyclical, where I will have, you know, these thoughts of, you know, even like, you know, how will my kids being impacted, like, they will survive, right? Like, they will be okay. They're there, you know, they're there. They're good kids, they're stable, they're smart. Like, if if their father wasn't here, like, I have those thoughts, right, like trying to figure it out. And so there was two things in my recent adult life. And when I say recent, I mean, in the last, say, seven years, the impact that me that really, really changed the way that I thought about that question. And one was, I was a supervisor of a young lady. She was in her 30s, but her dad had committed suicide. And oh, man, it just the impact that had on her is there's no telling, but just what I witnessed the impact. It was just trauma, right? So, so I looked at her and I just thought about how traumatic it is to people like it's more traumatic than you realize it's going to be and, and then, you know, I was hesitant to ask you to do the interview today, as you know, because, you know, your brother had taken his life. And I just didn't know, like, what you dealt with if you were comfortable hearing the things I was going to talk about. But when I got the news of that, I was sitting at work at PARC center in Nashville. alfonzo and I were we're not close, right? He he was, he was the brother, the little brother of one of my best friends like that, you know what I mean? And then we were in an organization called two backgrounds, but even in the backgrounds, he was the younger brother of somebody that that you know, I mean, we talked about it to each other, like we love each other. Like we're truly truly like brothers to each other. And so when I got that news, I don't think I cannot remember. The only other news that Hit me harder was when my mom passed, my mom passed suddenly. And that news was there was nothing that I ever experienced. It was like that but but hearing about your brother, it was like the wind was knocked on me and I hurt so bad and it just and I'm like I am so far removed from fonzo and I feel so much hurt. Just think of like the hundreds and hundreds of people that are feeling hurt from a purse from you doing this you know what I'm saying? And so I hurt so bad that I picked up the phone we're all over the country now. Right? Like Like our friend group is in Washington DC and in Georgia in Tennessee. And I caught up the guys and I'm like, we have to be there for Angela we have to there's no this is not optional, right like like we have to be there in a manner And they everybody showed up to show you how much we loved you and how much we support you. But, but but that that really also really changed my view of view. Now, if you were to one day go through with this, you know that the ramifications are far more than what you realize they're gonna be, you know,

Angelo Singleton  50:21  
definitely. And I don't think I think fines will be you know, we call him Fonzie. He didn't realize that he just was in a situation that the here and now he didn't think about anything else he didn't realize the people that he would affect. And the people who loved him, you know, who were trying to support? Right? You know, we tried to do the best that we could to get him the help that we needed when we found out that everything was going on. And then it's like we did, we didn't do enough. Like, there's not a day goes by that I don't think about you know, man, but if I woulda did this, or I could've did this or whatever. Yeah. So he still has his Facebook page open. So I go to that, like daily just to check, you know, just to look at, you know, I'm like, man, he just didn't realize anything. And I was then having to tell my mom and dad, you know, it was it was just it was something goes by that I don't think about my brother.

Naveh Eldar  51:18  
He was I mean, your, your, if I can say this, I am the sensitive one. But to be to be truthful. All of us. Were all if I can say like people don't know, like our school was 98% black. Right? So most of our friends were black, right? Like, look, we had some white friends, but most of our friends were black. Because that was that was the community we lived in. So we were in some ways, very typical young black man. But at the same time, we were all set really sensitive guys like our group, right? Yeah. And so it's so you, you also you know, you're just a sensitive soul. So you were like, you're just a loving son, you're a loving brother. And so And ever since then you have done your best to for suicide awareness. The hotlines to help people get help like you, you talk about that, and you promote that a lot. Which, of course, with my background, and both personally and professionally, I really appreciate that. I know that it can't be easy. But, but I love you guys you got it's just you. It's the greatest group of friends. I just

Angelo Singleton  52:29  
Oh, yeah.

Naveh Eldar  52:30  
You know, I look at my friends and I look at my kids. And I'm like, you know, pat my friends. I wished it My daughter has really good friends. My son has like a couple super super super close friends. But it's so nice having like this cluster of brothers. It was just oh

Angelo Singleton  52:46  
yeah, man, even though we don't see each other and talk to each other all the time. You know? The bond is still there, you know, always be there.

Naveh Eldar  52:54  
Yeah, for sure. And and right now we have a unique excuse to talk because this episode is coming out on Sunday, probably before the Steelers play the browns. And Akron is in Northeast Ohio. So it's very much Browns territory. And I know your dad, your dad was a really really intelligent noble man who was a huge Browns fan.

Angelo Singleton  53:20  
Yes, that's somehow

Naveh Eldar  53:23  
his son Benedict, with some some I wouldn't call him that. But some boy became a Steelers fan. And so we play each other on Sunday night. And so we you know, we've been texting every week for for a couple months, probably during games, but I want to thank you for for taking the time, Angela coming on. And, and like I said, and even like sharing some personal stuff on your side as well. I appreciate that.

Angelo Singleton  53:52  
Oh, yeah. Thank you for having an anime, you know, just this is an honor for me to you know, come on your show and just talk with you.

Naveh Eldar  54:03  
The song that opened the show, and that you're listening to now was written by my good friend Garrett dovan. And it's called the climb. And he just recently released it. And it's a song about perseverance. And I just find it so beautiful, and haunting, and just full of truth and emotion. I just want to thank him for allowing me to use it in today's episode. The last thing I wanted to say was that I by no means wanted any listener to think that I am some universal spokesperson for depression or any kind of mental health problem. Everybody is unique and everybody is different. And people can be dealing with depression for a number of reasons, from chronic pain, to abuse to a chemical imbalance. And so there's just countless reasons. So there's countless ways and means to help them and so Some people need medication and some people really thrive in therapy. So I just wanted to make it super clear that everything that I talked about today is very personal and relevant to me. And I'm very happy to have it over with now. And next week we will start correcting the universe and making sure that I'm the one asking the questions and talking very little, and getting some some interesting people in here for for the rest of the season. And so to close this out, again, is the climb by Garrett dovan. And I will put the link to the video in the description, but I love this, the ending of the song which you're about to listen to, you know, sometimes we feel just supernatural in and what we have to go through and how much we have to persevere but we have all kinds of power and strength in us. So hope you enjoyed the episode and I hope you enjoy the rest of the song

Transcribed by https://otter.ai