Hello my friends, and welcome to the Discover Your Personal Power Podcast, the show to help you live a life filled with peace, purpose, and power. My goal on this podcast is to give you something fun and meaningful to make your day a little brighter. I want to help you find your light and your personal power within.
My name is Peggy Moore and I am a wife and mother of over 30 years, a Nurse for over 20 years, a Certified Professional Coach, and wellness advocate.
I want you guys to know that I get it. Sometimes being human can be hard. But the good news is we are in this together. We all get to choose how we want to show up in this world. and we can create the life of your dreams. If you are feeling frustrated, overwhelmed or just stuck, I can help. Join me for a free discovery call. I would love to be your mentor, your cheerleader, and your guide to discovering your personal power and creating peace and purpose in your life.
I have been talking a lot about core values and beliefs on the podcast. We go deep in-depth with this in the Discover Your Personal Power 12 week coaching program, but I wanted to take a minute and explain a little more.
Core values play an important role in our emotional well-being. I have talked a lot about core values on the podcast lately. Mainly because I believe our core values and beliefs are what drive our behavior.
We feel at peace when our behaviors and actions align with our core values.
Our core values provide purpose for our lives. They guide what we truly want from life, how we want to show up in the world, how we interact with others, and how we view ourselves.
When we are not true to our deepest values, or we show up not as our best selves, we may feel confused or frustrated because we aren’t acting in a way that is in line with our core values.
If we are not living up to the values we believe to be most important, we may experience feelings of guilt or shame.
I created a Free Worksheet to help you Clarify your Core Values, go to https://www.discoveryourpersonalpowercoaching.com/clarifyyourcorevalues
So, what are core values, and why are they important?
According to Schwartz’s Theory of Basic Values, feelings and values are strongly connected. Recognizing and Knowing our core values can help to drive our behavior and form beliefs.
Schwarts says
Values when activated are linked with feelings. Values are created by our thoughts and our thoughts create our feelings.
Values can help create desirable goals that motivate action.
Values transcend specific actions and situations. This is what sets them above norms and attitudes. Values are more at our core, that is why acknowledging our core values is a huge advantage when it comes to self-awareness.
Our values serve as standards and help us evaluate our actions and behaviors.
Schwarts says People decide what is good or bad, justified or illegitimate, worth doing or avoiding, based on the possible consequences of their beliefs and core values. Our core values show up in and impact the decisions we make every day, but we are rarely conscious of this fact.
Schwarts says we become more aware of our values when the actions or judgments one is considering have conflicting implications for different values one cherishes. This conflict between values is when we start to really realize and recognize the core values we hold dear to heart.
For example, when one values a clean and orderly home, however, their two-year-old and four-year-old want to build a fort and pull out all the pillows, blankets, and couch cushions. Which value is more important: cleanliness and orderliness or being present and making fun memories with your child. Both choices can reflect values important to you, but decisions are made according to what value is the most important.
We often have an inherent sense of values that are ordered by importance relative to one another. We inherently form our Values into an ordered system of priorities that characterize our behaviors.
When we identify Clear Core values for ourselves we have a compass that can help us make decisions for our everyday life. Knowing our values provides a compass for our life and enhances our thoughts and feelings about self. We become more authentic, more purposeful in our actions when we take the time to clarify our core values.
Creating and maintaining our core values can help us increase the capacity to learn, appreciate, grow, improve, connect, or protect.
What are core values?
A value is defined as: “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.” Reference
Basically, it’s what you think is the most important thing.
For example, one of my core values is Love. I want to show love in my interactions with others, I want to show love and give others the benefit of the doubt. I want to show up from a place of love.
I also place a strong value on learning. I love learning and growing and am always seeking ways to be better.
As long as you are true to the most important thing about yourself, you will feel peace, purpose, and power.
I know when I am not showing up as my best self. When I am not showing up from a place of love and gratitude and courage, then I feel disappointed in my actions, I have feelings of shame and hurt.
I am not saying we are going to show up perfect all the time. We are human, but when we know and embrace our core values, it makes it so much easier to recognize when we are not showing up how we want and it makes it so much easier to show up how we want, to make decisions, and demonstrate the behaviors that are most important to us.
Some examples of values are love, responsibility, family, health, growth, connection, honesty, fun, trust, commitment
When we start to look at what values are most important to us, we can really start with curiosity and evaluating our thoughts. Your values are formed by your thoughts. But not just any thoughts. Thoughts that you’ve programmed in your brain since you were born. Your values can come from thoughts or beliefs your parents set for you when you were younger. For example, my parents were very much believers in education and spirituality. Those are two values still important to me today.
Other times values may be important to you because of negative experiences from your past. For example, growing up, I had 5 younger siblings. My home was always nosey, messy, and stressful. Ever since leaving my home and creating my own home, I have strived to have a place of order and peace.
Why It important to be self-aware and recognize Your Own Values
- Identifying your core values can help you see how and why you’re making decisions.
- Identifying your core values can help you make better decisions and choices in your life. If you want to become a better decision-maker, one of the best things you can do is to identify your values.
- When you clarify your core values, you are able to live in the moment better.
- You are able, to be honest with yourself and accept responsibility for your actions.
- Knowing, clarifying, and recognizing your core values can ignite the ability to be the person you truly want to be.
This may take a little bit of thought work. The reason this may take a little bit of thought work is that we have been influenced our whole life by our parents, teachers, pastors, friends, and the media teaching us how to behave and who to be. This is important in our formative years, but there is a time when you have to decide what is important to you.
Roy Bennet says “Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are.”
If you let others tell you who you are, you’re living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people, or following a prescribed path. You need to decide who you are for yourself.
So what are your core values?
- What is the most important thing about you as a person?
- What is most important to you in your life?
- How do you want to interact with others?
- What characteristics are most important to you?
These can be a little tricky to answer, in part because there are a lot of important things about you; you're probably honest, loyal, a hard worker, and so forth. Those are important qualities, to be sure, but they tend to be of equal value. When we are trying to clarify our core values we need to get to something more fundamental.
How To Clarify Your List Of Values
I think you don’t really create your values, you clarify them. You know what is important to you and you just need to do some fine-tuning and pinpoint it.
If you’re stuck, start noticing how you live.
What is driving your actions?
Life becomes much more rewarding when you connect with what makes you truly happy.
So ask yourself the question, at this moment, are you happy?
Using those skills of curiosity, investigate how your life is going right now. Whatever you feel now, will determine how you feel in the future.
If life for you right now is crazy, chaotic, and hectic, it may be difficult to spend the time to figure out what are the driving forces behind all the decisions you are making. However, taking the time to sit and reflect and be curious about your choices and your values can have a huge impact on creating the life that you want.
Your core values provide a compass for discovering what your goals should really be all about, so defining them is an important step toward your personal growth.
Identifying your personal core values can help you to Minimize to Maximize your life. You are able to simplify decisions and choices by having a strong anchor of specific core values which allows you to maximize your peace, purpose, and power.
So, as you make your list of core values, start with a list of five, then be willing to adjust and change them as you bring more awareness to what you really value
How your values come into play every day
An example would be my love of learning and learning being a core value for me. I really love reading books, mostly nonfiction, but some fiction also. I love taking classes and going to workshops and webinars. I loved going back to school. I could probably continue with school and be a happy camper.
Some people cringe at the thought of being back in school, their goals and values are different and that is OK.
Knowing that your values are affecting your goal-setting (and achieving) brings so much more awareness to your life. You get power from this recognizing
Knowing your core values can help decrease decision fatigue and simplify your life.
In the book Thinking Fast, Thinking Slow, #1 Thinking, Fast And Slow - Book Summary, Daniel Kahneman…. Teaches the difference between our “fast thinking” brain (the day to day decisions) and our “slow thinking” brain (future-focused, planning), and how we must utilize each part to our advantage not only to succeed but also so we don’t have errors in judgment (that our fast-thinking brain is prone to).
Our primitive brain or the fast-thinking brain loves what is easy, what is known. So naturally, we spend a lot of time in the fast-thinking part of our brain.
What we need to do in order to design our dream lives is to spend more time making decisions in the slow thinking part of the brain, using our prefrontal cortex or executive functioning part of the brain. The rational brain.
It takes more time and it's harder to do this but it’s oh so worth it.
And one of the best ways to get started is to get clarity on your values and pay attention to your brain. This is where your increased awareness will change your life.
- As you get clear on your values, you won't have to struggle as much to make quick decisions.
- Your day-to-day life will seem so much easier because you will make decisions according to the values you know are most important to you.
- Knowing and Clarifying your core values can help you feel more confident and improve your self-talk.
Joel Osteen says “You change the world by changing your words”.
The power of words is one of the most empowering tools we possess. The right words can transform lives, build connections and resolve conflict.
Positive words can also build trust and invoke confidence and empower others. Although you may not be the best communicator, you can learn this important lesson.
You can create the changes you want to see in your life by understanding and clarifying your core values.
Acknowledging that you can create transformational change around your core values is a powerful way of laying the foundation of your success and achievement for the future.
So like I told y'all, my most important core value is Love which relates to how I want to show up in the world and relationships.
Here are a couple of my core values
Love is arguably one of the most profound emotions we possess. It can create a euphoric adrenaline rush, a strong feeling of passion, intensity, adoration, and affection. When love is one of our core values it fundamentally influences all our decisions.
Feelings of love influence how we interact with others and provide us with an inner compass that influences our behavior, and our emotions. As a core value, it can influence our decision-making in ways you perhaps might not realize.
I love the mantra Love Wins. I try to remember this in all my interactions with others. With my spouse, with my family members, extended family members, friends, coworkers and even strangers.
I think all people want to and deserve to feel love. To feel valued as a human. I am a huge believer in human connection and the importance this is in our lives. Feeling connected to a group of people or identifying with them, based on shared values, goals, or experiences, activates an innate sense of community. The human brain developed to its present form when we needed to live in tightly-knit communities to survive.
One of the reasons I became a Nurse was to help others. I think at the deepest level this is because of my capacity to show love and feel love toward others. Service is the highest expression of love.
Along with the mantra Love Wins, I also love the mantra to Be Welcoming. I am an extrovert and I love people. I love getting to know different people and making friends with those around me.
I feel like I can show love just by saying hello. Making new friends and putting others at ease. Because one of my core values is love, it is important to be approachable. As a Nurse in a School Setting, I want my faculty and students to feel comfortable talking with me, telling me about their day, about things they are struggling with, and things that are going well. I think life is easier and more fun when we show my core value of love by being welcoming and approachable. This is demonstrated in behaviors such as making eye contact, having an open posture, keeping things away from your face, like a phone, listening, being present, holding space, showing intere\st, and being kind.
Another one of my core values that is a little different from feeling love is
Curiosity, Daring and Adventurous.
My core value of love generates feelings of curiosity about people. It also allows me to engage with people, books, places, and the things around and beyond that are different from normal. Never stop asking questions. Don't take anything as final, concrete.
I think staying curious can help us reach out of our comfort zone. Meaning meeting new people, joining new groups, volunteering in the community. I have been associated and worked closely with the military for over 14 years now. Military members move every 3-5 years and so I had to get good at meeting new people and recognizing that every person has something unique to offer.
Curiosity also allows me to try new things, learn new skills, and pick up new hobbies. Curiosity is the expression of the urge to learn and acquire facts and knowledge. It widens the mind and opens it to different opinions, different lifestyles, and different topics.
Curious people ask questions, read and explore. They are active in seeking information or experience and are willing to meet challenges and broaden their horizons. They are not shy to ask questions and delve deeply into the topic that interests them.
Curiosity can also lead to learning, acquiring knowledge, and becoming an expert in one’s field. Curiosity is a vital ingredient for becoming a good journalist, writer, inventor or scientist.
Curiosity has also allowed me to be more self-aware, as I use my skills of curiosity to explore my own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Along with curiosity is Adventurous
The word “adventure” can mean different things to different people. While the word itself elicits some aspirations and optimism, some treat the concept as scary and quite unpredictable. After all, no one wants to be stressed and be frightened. Being adventurous can feel quite broad but in reality, you can be adventurous in your own little ways. All you need to do is have the courage to break the mold, step out of your comfort zone because eventually, that zone will not let you grow.
Practicing some spontaneity and embracing some changes in your life can make you a better person. Here are some of the benefits of choosing to venture into some adventures:
It makes you realize how strong you are
There are some moments in your life where you do not know how strong you are unless you are confronted by an inevitable situation. The same thing also happens when you choose to become an adventurous person. That’s when you realize that you have hidden strengths; that you are able to do that thing you believed you wouldn’t be able to.
I know I have told the story of going to Nursing school before, but that was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. Going to school while raising three kids. In the five years, I was in school, I had a miscarriage at the end of my first trimester, I got pregnant again and had a baby in the middle of Nursing school and I had surgery for a thyroid tumor toward the end of Nursing school. It was a hard five years, but it definitely made me realize that “I can do hard things.”
I also remember when we first decided to move overseas to Germany. I had been offered a critical care nursing position in Landstuhl Germany. This meant uprooting my family and moving across the world. At the time, I definitely couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Getting a job with the government takes months of processing paperwork, fingerprints, and more paperwork. You literally have to fill out 30 pages of background information of every place you have ever lived for like the past 20 years. At the time we had a son on a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of LAtter Days Saints in Donetsk Ukraine, a daughter who was in her first year of college at BYU in Rexburg Idaho, and a 13 year, who did not want to move to a new school, let alone a new country. At the time, I questioned my sense of adventure and my sanity. But I took it one step at a time, one tree at a time, till finally 15 years later, I am so thankful I took that leap because it led me to where I am today.
Being adventurous may mean trying new things or engaging in new activities, For you it may not mean an overseas move or 5 years of Nursing school, but when you are willing to do it, you are able to view the world through the lens of more
Living in another country has allowed us so many opportunities to try new food, learn about a different culture and take part in another country’s culture. Living overseas helped us realize that no matter how people are divided by borders, one thing stays the same — everyone looks for love, friendship, and validation.
Meeting new people will always bring something rich and special to your life.
Being adventurous has helped me develop new skills. When you try new things, you are actually developing your skills. Pick up a new hobby, attend that class you have been meaning to attend, or undergo that training. Eventually, you will realize that all these undertakings are some sort of preparation for something bigger.
I love all the opportunities I have had over my life to learn and grow. I have always loved learning and personal development. I have attended workshops, read books, and participated in events that have enriched my life, and that curiosity and adventurous spirit led me to share that knowledge and passion with others with coaching.
There are many ways to be adventurous, and you just have to choose which one suits your personality, goals, and life philosophy. No matter what your adventure is, know that it will always be worth your while.
And the last of my core values I want to share with you today is gratitude.
My life has been so rich and so blessed and I am so grateful for the abundance I get to experience every day.
I consciously try every day to be grateful for all the experiences I have in life. This allows me to be positive and enjoy the pleasures of life. Gratitude creates positive energy. No one wants to be that person that is negative and critical all the time. When someone has negative energy, their bad energy can transmit onto you and the same goes with being positive. Removing anything negative, whether it's a habit or even a loved one from your life, is very crucial to living a positive life.
Positivity and gratitude are all in the mind. It starts with your thoughts and creates your feelings and drives your actions. When you come from a place of gratitude, you feel good, you open the door for positive energy to reach you.
I like to think about the things I am thankful for during my morning time. . By doing that, it starts my day off in a positive way and attracts more things to be thankful for.
Supporting your grateful thoughts with your behavior creates daily actions that create daily results of abundance.
Identifying your core values
- Can increase your self-awareness and help you see how and why you’re making decisions.
- Can help you make better daily decisions and choices in your life.
- Allows you to live in the moment better.
- You are able, to be honest with yourself and accept responsibility for your choices
- Ignite the ability to be the person you truly want to be.
If you need some help clarifying your core values hop over to the website for a free worksheet at
https://www.discoveryourpersonalpowercoaching.com/clarifyyourcorevalues