Brazen Leaders - The Human Edge

#73 - Reparing Mistakes

Amélie Beerens Season 5 Episode 73

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0:00 | 29:21

In this episode, we cut through the noise and get real about repairing mistakes. It’s not about perfection; it’s about owning your mess-ups, fixing what’s broken, and moving forward with integrity. We’ll break down how to face your mistakes head-on, take responsibility, and turn these moments into powerful leadership lessons. No fluff, just practical advice to help you step up and lead with authenticity.

What You'll Learn:

  • Why owning your mistakes is non-negotiable
  • Simple steps to rebuild trust and mend relationships
  • The power of self-compassion in tough times
  • How to flip your mistakes into growth opportunities
  • Strengthening your leadership through straight-up accountability

Useful Links:

Brazen Leaders Podcast Show Welcome

Speaker 1

Welcome to Brazen Leaders the podcast-to business and people transformation consultant and leadership coach . Yes , all of this With 15 years of experience in transformation . I'm definitely your girl . This podcast is your ultimate toolkit , packed with the insights , strategies and real talk interviews . You need to lead boldly and live bravely .

Speaker 1

Here at Brazen Leaders , I believe leadership starts within . It's about harnessing your human edge as a superpower to drive impact , inspire others and transform your life . Yes , build what you want . Whether you are a corporate trailblazer , an entrepreneur or someone striving for personal mastery , you're in the right place . This is your weekly dose of radical honesty and unapologetic ambition . Consider it like having a coach in your pocket . My mission is to empower you to achieve what you want , to find the courage to take the direction that makes the most sense for you , and to provide the support you need along the way . When you embrace your true potential and take bold actions , that's when you can create the greatest impact , and I'm here for it . Never underestimate the edge our humanity gives us and the power it brings when we bet on humans . So let's get started . I think I'm ready to rock . This is what you're waiting for . I think I'm ready to rock .

Speaker 1

Hello , hello and welcome on this new episode . I'm very happy to find you here again . Seriously , every time a new play is happening , I imagine you in your car walking , the dog cooking or I don't know whatever you're doing actually . But really I'm like wait again . Somebody is like working on themselves , asking themselves the hard question , ready to practice , ready to take action , and that actually brings me a lot of energy to myself get into motion . Today is a I'm like you can hear it , I'm in a very , very good mood . It's my first day of work after a non-holiday period . What does that even mean ? I didn't go on holiday this summer , it was not my time . I'm very focused on the podcast , the project , how the podcast is going to grow , because soon some interviews are coming on the podcast . It's not going to be only me and the practices . There will be experts coming to really dig into other topics , every time , of course , linked to how you can develop your leadership and achieve everything you want . Also , the Brazen Leader Incubator community is opening again and I really can't wait to welcome the new members . Oh my god , this is really what makes me the most happy on earth . Lately it's working on that . I've got great workshops coming up there . So , yeah , I'm very bubbly because , yes , this is like my back to school . Something is like now , today , mid August , it's where I really , uh , I really feel like the energy is back for me and I hope for you too .

Speaker 1

And , like always , when you start to take action , when you come back from resting and when you are , when you actually do things , you're going to screw up , you're going to fail . Of course , you're going to do mistakes and even , for example , if I spend a lot of time physically alone because I work from home , I do work with a lot of people and so when I screw up , usually it has impact on people , and I know probably you the same thing on people , and I know probably you the same thing . And something I've been scared for a long time is about owning my screw ups and my mistakes and really building from them , taking them as an opportunity for growth . It sounds like an interesting quote or a sort of mantra , like everything , yeah , there's a growth mindset , everything is an opportunity to grow , blah , blah , blah . But this one in particular is so hard to do in terms of the first step for the first time , specifically because for me , for example , I was so scared that people would stop loving me just because I screwed up , because they are disappointed . I didn't understand that grownups are supposed to handle their disappointment on their own , that I'm not responsible for that and uh , but I am very responsible at how I'm going to handle my own screwed up and my mistakes and how , uh , how it can impact , uh , the relationship we have . So it has been a journey very interesting and super rewarding , and I start to really believe that every time you do something so hard , the reward is so huge behind that . Yeah , it really gives me that curiosity to

Embracing Self-Mastery as a Leader

Speaker 1

try .

Speaker 1

When I'm up in energy , like today , for example , this is definitely a day where I would say , okay , I can do something . That I find very hard today because I got my level of energy super high , because I spent the summer with a quiet mood , focusing on what I really love , and now it's kind of the beginning of my campaigns and the beginning of new projects for me . So , boom , I enjoy going from this energy to the action , but I know I'm going to screw up , for sure I know . So this podcast episode comes in very handy now because , yeah , actually I have a sort of short list of things I need to remind myself always when I screw up because , like everybody , when I screw up , I got shame , guilt and all very uncomfortable feelings that come up . And yeah , of course , I try to get rid of them and I tend to choose the easy path , the comfortable path . So I got this list that I'm going through with you during this podcast episode , list that I'm going through with you during this podcast episode .

Speaker 1

So I'm sure I am taking advantage of what I just did as a screw up because , yeah , at one point it's really you're giving yourself a lot of work of doing something different or stepping forward for yourself , of , yeah , doing something you're not familiar with , you will screw up , you will make mistakes and nurturing those guilt and shame and other very not comfortable feelings because you just did something that is inevitable , that you can't really avoid , because it will happen . It's too bad . It's too bad because it's like you're killing that motivation , that reward of doing something . You are preventing you of taking the next steps . So this is an empowering exercise , an empowering practice I propose you today and I hope it will bring you as much rewards as it gave me and as it's still creating for me .

Speaker 1

So , yeah , let's dive into it . It's time we are diving straight into self-mastery , no more , no less . Get ready to shake things up and unlock the extraordinary within you . I like to start with a really dramatic hook , right ? I think now you got it , but I mean I'd like you to really get into dramatic hook , right ? I think now you got it , but I mean I'd like you to really get into that mode , right ?

Speaker 1

So we're talking about through leadership , and it starts with you . It's all about harnessing your inner strings , owning your flaws and stepping boldly into your full potential . Whether you are dealing with the chaos of corporate life yes , because we always think that corporate is like superstructure and everything , I believe I've seen more chaos than anywhere else in corporation . So , yes , chaos of corporate life , the roller coaster of entrepreneurs or , yeah , the everyday grind , guiding yourself is the most powerful tool you can have and you can develop for yourself . And the way I bring it , it sounds great , right , but yeah , let's be honest and let's try to not kid ourselves .

Speaker 1

It's tough Because if it was easy , everybody would do it and there would be no coach and no need for anything like this , for anything like the content I'm recording right now . So that's why this podcast exists . It may sound simple and that's really my job to make it as simple as humanly possible , but we both know better . You've tried and you will keep trying . That's your edge . You know it's no walk in the park , but you are doing it anyway and that's why you want to hear , that's why I wake up every morning , because I know there are people like us out there .

Owning Mistakes for Growth and Connection

Speaker 1

So today we are hitting on something most people avoid yeah , fixing your mistakes . Yep , you heard me . Well , I'm talking about owning up to your screws up and turning them into moments of growth and deeper connection . I know you might be familiar with the first part of it turning crisis into opportunity , blah , blah , blah , yeah . But the second part , very important deeper connection . But first let's ask ourselves a question why do we skip this ? Why do we skip this part where we want to own our shit ? Because it's uncomfortable as hell .

Speaker 1

It is maybe the worst . It started with when you were a kid . It's not easy . You screw up , you know you did something wrong and then , yeah , you know you try to get away with it . Emotions get messy and it's easier to , of course , ignore the mess you just created or you see coming your way . Here's the truth . We all mess up . Here is the truth . We all mess up All of us Non-stop , and it will happen again , if it happened already . It's called being human . Yeah , we are a beautiful creature , but we are very messy and we screw up . So here is what sets you apart Really . That is the real edge you can develop . It's how you handle those messes .

Speaker 1

So imagine turning those let's be honest cringe-worthy moments into fuel for your personal growth and stronger relationships , because that's really where I want to bring you to really understand that , okay , it's hard , but it's completely possible . And , yeah , the moment you really feel the result of that , I'm not going to get more dramatic , saying that it's addictive , but it's something you really want to try again because it's powerful . So does that hit home ? No , okay , okay , just wait until you start practicing . Okay , then , about practicing , it's time that we start to dig into the important steps that will help you to actually practice .

Speaker 1

That's always where I want to focus on the first step is embrace vulnerability . You have to start with owning your mistakes . It is necessary . It's not a weakness to recognize that you screwed up . It's a power move , especially if you're the first . Remember a situation where you screwed up , you put everything under the rug like no , it's going to be okay , nobody's going to notice , and when it has been noticed , the shame , the guilt and all the very not comfortable emotions that raised at that moment in you . You can avoid that by owning your mistakes . Oops , I screwed up . It can start so simply as that in the beginning , but we will get into that practice deeper in the exercise story .

Speaker 1

So forget what you were told growing up , because school and the old-fashioned education style really they were . I mean , that was another time . So that mindset is a trap . Owning your errors shows real strength and authenticity . That's what makes you a real human and there is nothing more attractive for another human being to meet a real human being . That realness , that authenticity that word is very a lot used , even though not a lot practiced is the realness we're looking for .

Speaker 1

When you step up , you're not just fixing a situation , you are building trust and connection with the other person , and that is a people magnet , and in a good sense . I mean this is how you really create a group , a community . This is how you feel safe with other people , with your people . Picture this you are running a project and in a moment of frustration , you snap at a colleague , feel familiar already . I know that's something that happened like more than once to me . Later you feel that knot of regrets and embarrassment , of course . Embarrassment because you know you screwed up . What ? Now you could ignore it . Hope it fades away , because I mean , that was the heat of the moment . Everybody moved on , yeah , but that's not what you're about . Instead , you step up and say I'm sorry for how I reacted , that was out of line and I appreciate your patience . That sentence and I appreciate your patience .

Speaker 1

That sentence , seriously , use it as a script sentence so you don't have to make any effort . You can use that sentence in any situation . When you screw it up , it's so great . You show your self-awareness and you show gratefulness . That's taking control of your actions and setting a standard . That's what we actually mean when we say that you are responsible for your life . You're not responsible of all the crap that are happening to you . This is nonsense . But you are responsible for every action you take . You are a free grown-up living in a free country with choices . With I mean the privileges that you have . Okay , great . So then you take control of your actions . You have that power . It's simple words for a massive impact . Trust me , that sentence is gold . Me , that sentence is gold .

Speaker 1

Now let's get real about self-compassion . We are our own worst critics . I know that very well . I know . I know I have myself an inner bully that is limitless . It takes a lot of my energy to manage the relationship between my inner cheerleader and my inner bully , because the inner bully was so big for so long , you know . And when we screw up , it is when it's super hard because the critic is intense .

Speaker 1

But the truth is , if you are leading your life , you've got to learn to separate what you do from who you are . A mistake doesn't define you . It's part of your journey , part of your growth , part of the experience of life . Seriously , no matter your age or your experience , the journey doesn't stop until you do so . Cut yourself some slack , give yourself the grace you would offer someone else , a friend of you , even somebody you don't know . I'm sure you can be kinder with someone even stranger than you are with yourself .

Speaker 1

Talking about experience here , I know this isn't easy . It takes time and practice to get good at it . But trust me because I'm telling that every time . But trust me , even one attempt is worth it because you have immediate results . So how do you know you messed up , because sometimes you feel like it's obvious . But seriously , let's crack this open . It's a gut feeling , the one you can't shake . Maybe it's a shift in the room , a change in someone's attitude , or just that uneasy feeling in your gut . It can be very subtle . That's also why this emotional intelligence is so important to develop , because it's how you get tuned in the room with the people . So , if you look back , did a conversation and awkwardly , that's the moment when you get that feeling that you have to ask yourself some questions .

Speaker 1

Okay , let's revisit that situation where I think , where I felt like things switched . Did you react defensively ? How did you do ? Try to start with what you did instead of what other people did . That's also a very interesting approach . Spot the red flags . Don't brush off feedback , direct or indirect , if people are distant or if you are getting negative comments . Pay attention , those feelings of guilt , regret , embarrassment , okay , they are your mind's way of telling you some things is off . Don't run from it . Use it . That's the moment , that's your cue to okay , that's also your challenge , but that's your cue to just observe what happened , grow from it and deepen the connections with other people . So here is a challenge . Yeah , I like to give you from time to time , a little challenge . I think it's interesting . The next time you slip up , take a step back . Ask yourself what set me off ? What fear or insecurity was I dealing with ? Figure that out and you will know what to work on to avoid a repeat . This isn't just about fixing what's broken . It's about growing into a sharper , more resilient version of yourself so you are able to deal with more situations of yourself . So you are able to deal with more situations .

Speaker 1

Step three is all about communication . After you've processed what happened , it's time to face the music . Reach out to those affected and own your part . Be honest about what went down , why it happened and what you're going to do differently . This isn't about fishing for forgiveness . This is not supposed to be your goal . It's about building trust and showing integrity . That's the goal , something we need more of in this world .

Speaker 1

Seriously , think about the people you look up to . They are not perfect , far from it . What makes them stand out is their ability to handle their mistakes with grace and accountability . They don't avoid tough conversations . They lean into them . Using them to create stronger , more genuine connections . Using them to create stronger , more genuine connections . And , believe me , they are just as scared as you are when it's time to face the music . It's scary because it's new territory , but practice this enough and you will see it works every time . Believe me , it's almost like magic . Seriously , and don't think this is just for the office In your personal life , owning your mistakes can transform your relationships as well , whether it's with your partner , a friend or a family member , whatever .

Speaker 1

Showing that you are ready to make things right can really deepen bonds and build resilience within the group . So now let's break down how to do this very specifically . Always , you will find a link in the description with the blog article where everything is broke down . You know , if you're more visual , you can find the practice every time on the blog Link in the description . So , number one acknowledge the mistake , the first one , the hardest move Really . After that , everything's going to get easier . So be blunt . Say what you did wrong . Don't sugarcoat it . Own it , okay . Then express regrets . Show you are genuinely sorry for what you did and how it affected others . So we're not talking about you now , okay , it's not about you right now .

Speaker 1

The third step is take responsibility . You own your actions and don't find excuses . Seriously , I'm going to take a grotesque example , but when somebody is drunk , whatever it did , whatever it did under the influence , the fact that that person was drunk is absolutely not an excuse . Okay , this will not make the action less hurtful because the alcohol was there . And it's the same for every excuses . It's as ridiculous as this one . So , own your action and don't bring excuse Again . It's not about you , it's about them .

Speaker 1

The fourth step is make amends , ask how you can fix it or , even better , suggest a way to make things right . Okay , but really listen , listen to the other person , to the other party , to really understand how you can make it right . The step number five promise to change . You have to explain what you are going to do to make sure this doesn't happen again . Because , okay , people can understand that you screwed up , because they probably had screwed up as well , a lot already . But doing the same mistake again and again and again , because you don't change anything , yeah , you're not going to get very far from it . It's just not the point of that . Practice right . And then the last step is super important it's the follow through . Talk is cheap . Make sure your actions back up your words . If you had a brilliant idea altogether to fix this and you committed to change whatever needed to be changed , do it . Do it or don't commit for it seriously , because the follow-through will end that process of you growing from this mistake and you deepening the connection with the person .

Speaker 1

And as we wrap up , there is something I'd like you to take away with you the journey to self-mastery never ends and , yeah , remove that pressure from your shoulders . It will never be finished . It's about constant evolving , constant doing a little step after another little step , learning from every stumble and stepping into your potential with confidence and courage which you build along the road . Of course , you don't get that . You know we don't get that really when we start . Embrace your mistakes , learn from them and use them to push yourself forward . It sounds scary like this , but the moment you start to practice consistently around this and I don't know you , but with the amount of mistakes I do on a regular basis , this can go really fast actually , because every time you screw up , you do that , oh my God . This is going to be very fast track actually , because every time you screw up , you do that . Oh my God , this is going to be very fast track actually for you . I know it was like this for me .

Speaker 1

And don't forget those mistakes . You think no one noticed , right ? I know you know what I mean . There are still chances to grow because sooner or later and I'm still talking about a lot of experience here they will come to light . Yeah , I don't know how they do that , but they always come to light . Own them , learn from them , be the leader you know you can be . And voilà , this is it for today . Thank you for tuning into Brazen Leaders , the Human Edge . Remember true power starts from within . Own your story , embrace your perfection and live with relentless authenticity . This is what I wish for you . Don't forget to subscribe . Drop a review , a comment , give me all the stars on the podcast platform , join me on social network and also share . Share this episode with whoever needs to have a little , a little practice about owning your mistakes and the screws up . And yeah , until next time , stay bold , stay brazen . Bye-bye .