A Nurse First

10 years

• Higinio Fernández-Sánchez • Season 5 • Episode 1

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Higinio Fernández-Sánchez's story begins in Tyler, Texas, where he migrated with his family from Mexico at a young age. Determined to pursue his dream of becoming a nurse despite being undocumented, Higinio made the difficult decision to return to Mexico, only to face a 10-year ban from re-entering the U.S. after being denied a study permit. His time there turned out to be a blessing in disguise though, as he embraced his culture, became fluent in Spanish, and discovered a passion for research.

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When I was in high school, I shadowed a few other professionals, including a lawyer, which I thought at that time that I would become a lawyer. But then I shadowed a nurse practitioner. The whole day I spent with her, I was really drawn into the work that she was doing. And it wasn't just nursing. I think it was also her personality and the way that she showed what nursing was about, that I immediately knew that I Welcome to A Nurse First. This is Higinio Fernandez Sanchez telling his own A Nurse First story. So growing up undocumented as a child is different because personally, I've never even knew, right? I never even knew what that meant until, you know, later when things started to affect my life. Initially, it was my dad who migrated to the U.S., and he chose the town where I grew up, which is Tyler, Texas, because we had other family members that were already there. My dad migrated for work purposes, which I think it's very similar to other people's reasons. looking for better opportunities. I think initially he wanted to be here for some time and then return to Mexico, but after some time and discussing it with my mother, they both decided to bring the family over. My mother, my siblings, and I migrated years later. I can't remember how old I was, but I started first grade here in the U.S. Back at that time, the border wasn't as secured as it is now. Before, you know, crossing the border, you didn't even need like a passport or anything. When we first got to the U.S., I remember we went, you know, the typical, you go out for a burger. And I don't think I've ever had a burger before then. So that was pretty different and exciting too. Everything was like really big to me. I think part of it was because I was a child. And then the other part was because in Mexico we lived like in a really, really tiny place, right? These are things that you basically only see on TV, like the bus picking you up to go to school and then, you know, going into your classroom and saying the pledge of allegiance and, you know, going to the cafeteria and grabbing your tray. But of course, there were a lot of things that if I think about them now, were definitely challenges and barriers and I don't ever ever remember going to like a you know physical exam because of the lack of health insurance and you know all these things. The first kind of barrier that I remember facing is trying to drive. So I did go to driving school and I did all of that. But of course, then I wasn't able to get a license or a permit because I didn't have a social. But before then, I didn't even know what the word undocumented meant because you just grew up like a normal kid. I do remember having some kind of conversation with my parents when I wasn't able to get my driver's license. And it's like mixed emotions and mixed feelings in terms of, you know, anger and being upset and being sad and you know, even blaming them at that time. Of course, I don't blame them now. But at that time, you're a teenager, you don't know that and you don't know better. But now I feel like they were so brave, like immigrants are so brave. And I can't imagine because as a child, I wasn't noticing all these challenges that were around me, but my parents were, right? They had it at the top of their heads all the time. And they had to, you know, work around these challenges so that I could live, you know, a normal childhood and adolescent life, you know, as much as possible. So when I finished high school back in 2006, I went into a community college in Tyler, Texas. It was a two-year program. During that time, I wanted to apply for nursing school for the BSM program. But then, because I was an undocumented immigrant, I wasn't able to apply for the program. One of the counselors at this college said, well, you know, you have a pretty good record and I've seen some people that go back to their home countries and request a study permit and we're able to extend, you know, all of the proper documentation and we'll get you back over here and get you into the nursing program. I was a little bit scared, but I finally decided to leave the U.S. for Mexico. Well, I wanted to become a nurse and I'll do what I need to do, right? When I arrived there and I went to the U.S. Embassy, I was denied that study permit for obvious reasons, because I had spent all of my childhood and adolescence here. They placed a 10-year ban before they could grant me any other type of entry into the U.S. I think the first thing, you know, when I got the bad news was probably, oh, no, I'm not going to be able to see my parents, my siblings, my friends. Like, what am I going to do? I don't even know anything about, you know, this place I'm at right now. I was 21 in a place I've never been, in a language I, you know, was able to manage, it was so overwhelming. Like, what do I do? Nobody knows what I need to do. I don't even know anything about this place I'm at right now. I had a birth certificate, but I didn't have an ID, and I needed that in order to do basically everything else. Nowadays, there's a lot of resources for, you know, DACA recipients that go back to Mexico or returnees in general. But when I went back, there weren't a lot of resources in place. So that exacerbated, you know, the whole experience of In a literal instant, Higinio was left with little other option than to reconfigure what the next 10 years of his life would look like. Luckily, through hurried and anxious phone calls from Mexico back to the United States, Higinio's parents were able to connect him with his one living grandmother, who without hesitation provided him with a semblance of home. And having that safe space to land gave Higinio the But during this time, you know, I entered the BSN program in Mexico. I would say that initially my motivation came from if I do this and I'll be able to go back. If I get my BSN, I'll be able to get my credential success, which I did later on, to be able to work and live in the U.S. without an issue. And nursing school was really what I wanted to do. If I'm already here, might as well make the best of it, right? And things were really rough because I needed to do a lot of things in terms of, you know, getting my identification. For instance, when I needed to go apply for nursing school, I needed my transcripts from high school and the community college in the U.S. That was a nightmare. I mean, trying to get my parents going here to Austin, which is the capital of Texas, and getting those. They needed to get some paperwork in order to mail it to me and then get translations. And then, you know, Mexico at that time, they didn't know what was happening. So it was just a lot of going back and forth. And I was still 21. And when I entered nursing school, the term bullying wasn't, you know, as popular as it is now. But I did receive in some way, you know, some bullying from my peers. Because, of course, I had, you know, like broken Spanish and I used Spanglish. The way I expressed myself and my thought process was different. And it was evident, right? I was used to, you know, having my car, going to school, to the community college or high school, coming back, going to work. And life in Mexico wasn't like that. Things were a little bit slower. Of course, you don't earn as much. And it was just a very complex situation for me. I would say the worst worst was the first year, trying to do all these things at the same time, trying to settle in, trying to get used to things, trying to get into school, trying to, you know, learn the language better. I know students in nursing school cry often. I cry more than that. I can tell you that. Not just because of the content that I needed to learn and the skills that I needed to demonstrate, but trying not to miss my family, trying to deal with, you know, some of the bullying, trying to, you know, learn Spanish and make sure I say things correctly so that more bullying wouldn't happen. And I was trying to keep myself that busy in order to keep distracted. I didn't want to be thinking about, oh, if I had never left Tyler, I wouldn't be in this situation. Because I also thought about that, right? If I hadn't left, I wouldn't be in this situation now. But I was able to say Being forced to spend a decade living away from your home, family, and everything you knew undoubtedly shaped who you are today. How did those 10 years in Mexico impact Now I can say that going back to Mexico for those 10 years was not the worst thing. It was like the best thing. Living in Mexico for 10 years was, I could say now, that one of the best things that could have happened to me. I learned so many things and I learned to appreciate so many other things that I potentially wouldn't have learned here. You know, I learned about my culture. I learned how to read and write and speak Spanish well. Like I am like completely fluent. And I write, you know, I publish papers in Spanish and they're published in journals. Those things I wouldn't have been able to do. I wouldn't be able to do now if I hadn't gone back to Mexico. Before graduation, I was able to go to my first ever research conference. And I met incredible people that I still keep in touch. It was an amazing experience. And so at that time, I was still pretty, I was, you know, really young still, and I still loved the ER and the ICU and, you know, my bedside nursing. But there was, you know, that now, that new interest that came to me that wasn't there before. I really love the adrenaline and all the things that happen in a hospital setting, right? But that changed at that one conference. Now I want to do research. And that's when my research interest became real. So then I started to look for a mentor that would say, OK, so if I want to be a researcher, what do I have to do, right? What path do I need to take? So the next step would be to get a master's degree, which I did. And after grad school, one of the nursing schools offered me a position. It was a part time and I was, you know, teaching clinicals because I was still working in the hospital. So I was able to do that. So I was doing like multitasking, teaching at the nursing school, working at the hospital and teaching, you know, English as a second language. I learned to appreciate, you know, so many things that I had taken for granted. During my master's program, I was able to do a research placement in Canada. That was the first time I went to Canada. And so she is an amazing researcher. When we met, she automatically said, you need to do a PhD. But of course, after finishing my master's, I was tired. So I kind of waited out two years before I went back to school for my PhD. But she, you know, sent me, you know, suggested schools that would be good for me to go to. And, you know, she sent me a list of like five nursing schools in Canada. I chose the University of Alberta. And I mean, now University of Alberta is like number one in Canada. It's top five in the world. Getting to the PhD program at University of Alberta in Canada was, you know, one of the best moments in my life, right? Because it's so challenging to get into the program. So in 2019, the 10-year band was up. But at that time, I was already in my PhD program in Canada. And I traveled from Canada on a Friday and went back on a Sunday. And I was just able to be here for my mother's 60th birthday. So I remember one of my siblings and my dad picked me up at the Dallas airport. And then we drove to Tyler and my mother and all these other family members were there and they all ran to hug me. But of course I was, you know, going directly to mom. Oh, it's the best feeling. I mean, it's, I mean, it wasn't, it was so timely, you know, it wasn't just, Not the first time after 10 years, but it was also her 60th birthday. Words can't even explain how, you know, the whole moment. It was amazing. Currently, I am an assistant professor slash postdoctoral fellow at the University of Texas here in Houston. It is amazing being home. Even though my parents live like three hours drive from here, it's still, you know, if anything, I'm just three hours away. Yeah, my life would have played out completely different, I think, if I would have stayed in the U.S. I think I would have become a nurse. It would have taken me longer to get there. And Thank you for listening to A Nurse First from Sigma. 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