The Pool Build Fiasco and Gaining Perspective

In this week's episode, the pool build story from hell! What a nightmare from beginning to end, but of course, there is a silver lining - and that is....well, I guess it's perspective. Perspective on my problems, our problems and reality of the world - sometimes things happen and just because they do happen, doesn't mean they happen to YOU. 

I also talk about a massive project I messed up on at work and how being on the other side of the problem can also shape your perspective. Also, along with these two examples, several more and discussing how to overcome other people's mistakes and how to deal with that. 

The Sponsor I Wish I Had: JBL Charge 5 speakers - these things are legit! I've had them for three years and I tell you why you need to run out and grab them. 

The Just The Tip segment is all about how to position those speakers to maximize the sonic experience. 

The Whisper In segment is @withcoachgrace on IG. A wonderful account that deals (properly) with procrastination and meeting yourself where you are. Check it out and give her a follow. 

Music by Purple-planet.com
Music by Wondershare Filmora 12

@saturdayisdadurday on Insta

Saturday is Dadurday on YouTube

Transcript

All I needed. All I needed was seven days with no rain in Texas in the summer.
Storytime again, gather round gather round. This one's a doozy. All right, so New Year's Eve 2020. My wife and I were fortunate enough to sign a contract to build a pool in the house that we lived in. In Texas.
We were really excited. It was a great night, great start to the new year. And we were really happy to be able to do that, for our family. And for our daughter. We were expected to break ground in around St. Patty's Day. And we were expected to be done and swimming by about Mother's Day. So a couple of months, no big deal. Now, before we signed the contract, we had interviewed something like 10 or 11, pool companies met with them separately, had them come out to our house and look at the property and everything. We really did our diligence to make sure that we got the best price, the best quality that we could the best design that we wanted, all the things. So we felt that we had done our diligence, and we signed the contract, and we're ready to go. So in between New Years, and St. Patty's Day, in 2021, Texas underwent the first ice Snowmageddon that they've had in like a long time. And it was just insane, freezing below zero temperatures, tons of snow, tons of ice, the power grid was crazy. It was all over the news for a long time. So I'm sure everybody's aware of it, it's to some degree, and we're right smack dab in the middle of it. So that ended up delaying our breaking ground by a couple of weeks, no big deal. So we thought, okay, if we don't have it by Mother's Day, we'll we'll have it by Memorial Day. So yay. And again, we realize how fortunate we are to even be in this position. But we're really excited and we're like, fingers crossed, No more delays, we're good to go. So a couple of weeks before we actually are set to break ground. And after this winter Armageddon storm in Texas, we get the the architectural drawings, for part of the space that we had, we're gonna do like a covered patio area kind of extended off of our roof. Now, we had already seen like the 3d drawings and the 3d drone videos that they render for you on the front end to kind of show you what it's going to be like. So we already knew what the design was. And we were just ready to kind of review it and sign off on it. Well, we get this drawing, and it's not a patio extension, it is a free standing gazebo that's designed to go like somewhere else in our yard. And we're like what the hell man like we're supposed to break ground. And like a week, this isn't even close. So back and forth, back and forth, we had to get the owner of the pool company involved. And they ended up giving us this drawing of a freestanding gazebo, because that's what matched the price that we were quoted. So the price for this extended patio was not the price that we were quoted, even though that's what was listed on on everything. And that's what we had seen pictures of and everything like that. So we had to go a month or two throughout this build process where we're arguing back and forth with the owner of the company and threatening legal action and all this stuff. And all we wanted was just to be to get what we paid for that was to get what we agreed for nothing more, but nothing less. And we ended up having the way it worked out, we ended up having to pay a little more, they last they paid some and we ended up getting what we want. But that was the first the first mistake. We were really hot because we thought Man, we have done our diligence on the front end. And we had everything ready to go. And we were on top of this. And then at the 11th hour, we get something that's not even close to what we agreed on. That's the first thing. So we get that behind us they break ground pools underway. And under this little covered patio area, we just kind of built had to like a little countertop that was going to be built. And we're going to put a little grill in there and the smoker that we've already had for a few years going to kind of sit in this countertop. So I just happened to be home randomly one day while they were building this. And I walked out just to check on the progress and they had completely the wrong materials like the wrong stone, the wrong color, the wrong everything. And like I'm running out there and trying to stop everybody from doing that. They're arguing with me back and forth. I'm showing them you know what we had listed on our agreement and everything. So that ended up causing another two to three week delay, and round and round we go and then they finally came back out a couple of weeks later and corrected that part of it. But when they did that they still measured incorrectly for where the smoker was going to go. So they had to fix that. So this is the third error
ration them fixing just the real basic countertop, they had spec sheets that we had given a month beforehand. They knew everything they had come out to measure. They had photographs, like they knew what they were doing, but apparently wrong materials, wrong measurements multiple times. So that was the second thing.
The third thing was when they actually did the tile work on the pool. It was completely done incorrectly. It was it looked like someone was getting tased with a cattle prod. And whoever was doing it in the tiles were just jiggly. They were everywhere, that it was really, really poor. And again, I know I'm ranting about tile for a pool. So I understand what my place in life here, but it's it's part of the story. So they had to come back out and redo this huge section of tile, had to redo that again. So that delayed it another couple of weeks. So now we went from Mother's Day to Memorial Day. And then fingers crossed that we maybe could get this done by my wife's birthday, which was in early June. And we're going to have some friends over and do that as a swim. So we just blew right past that. And we were like, come on, like you know what else can go wrong. We just got to get this across the finish line. But we had friends coming in for the Fourth of July. And the last thing that we needed to have happen after all the issues was that the pool needed to be dried out enough so that they could spray the plaster which is gives it the pool that's color and texture when you step inside of it. And we had had not only that crazy Armageddon winter, we had had really, really historic rainfall in North Texas. So historic that it was the second most rainfall that summer in history.
The summer that we tried to get our pool built, we cannot catch a break. So we needed to have a certain amount of time for the Ghanaian, which is like the concrete that they used to make the shovel the pool that needed to dry out. And what was causing a delay was on either side obviously was grass. And as it rained and the rain went into the grass and into the ground, it seeped into this gun it and it would cause wet spots, which is normal. And you just have to wait for the wet spots to dry out. So we're waiting and waiting. And all we needed was like a week of no rain. Now the previous decade and a half that my wife and I had lived in Texas, we had continuous droughts for the summer water restrictions, by by mid June, all the way through the summer, every single year, this year, couldn't get enough couldn't couldn't get more rain, if we asked for it just buckets oceans of rain every single day. So we're just like about at our wits end. And we had bought this fan that you could sit on the ground and just blow into try to help dry the gun out from the other side, which the pool company recommended that we do maybe it was a total waste of time. But even that, like we had that going and we were like two or three days away from from it being dry enough that we could
we could spray the plaster and viola. And our product or project manager was in the pool like trying to look at something tripped over the fan, broke it into a bunch of pieces. So like I had to run out in late afternoon and buy another fan at Walmart and bring it back again, no big deal. What a wonderful place to be in that that were waiting on a pool, but just one thing after another after another. And then we finally ended up getting it done. No friends or friends that showed up for the Fourth of July, no pool, we just sat there looked at the hole in the ground. And it ended up being a full month and a half after that where we got it just before my daughter's birthday in mid August. And we were finally done and over with it and and that was it. And we really didn't have any problems with the pool until until we moved and left and who knows what's going on now. But
in the moment while you while we were going through that. And especially me because I was sort of the project manager of the of it of our family on this one. There was so many things that went wrong, and I was so frustrated and so angry because I had felt I felt like both my wife and I did our diligence on the front end we did all the hard work on the front end to make sure everything was locked in place. We were comfortable with the timeline, we had realistic expectations. We were prepared to manage through a few bumps in the road and just throughout the entire process just everything that could go wrong did and it just drove me nuts and that ended up just being so consuming and looking back on it now. The one thing that it taught me was perspective Oh
on the note of perspective, me being so consumed by this pool fiasco that it just drove me crazy. I was so frustrated so angry such a bad mood all the time. And over what over having to wait a while
ittle bit longer to enjoy a wonderful pool and a beautiful backyard with my family, like, come on. But in the moment, it was such a burden. And
I look back on that now. And I think that not only was I immature and poorly able to deal with the ups and downs and the ebbs and flows of it, but I think I was, I was able to find somewhere that I could use as an outlet to take out all my other frustrations and anything that was frustrating at work or in my personal life, or with my health and fitness or whatever. It's like I had found a place that I could just dump all of that on. And we've talked about this before in previous episodes about how, you know, that had had a tendency to just destroy my mood. And now that's projected outward to my wife, and my daughter, and my mother and friends and coworkers. And none of them had anything to do with that, that was just me just turning a bad situation and becoming a dick about it. But the idea of perspective, that was the biggest thing in our world for close to a year. And when we had built that house before, that was the biggest thing in our world. And if anybody else has done that, where they're building a house, or they're buying a house, or they're selling a house, or they're moving across country, or starting a new job, or whatever, that is the biggest thing in your world. And it's all consuming, and it's such a focal point for you. And so much energy and thought is put against all that, that it's very easy to lose perspective that guess what, this is just another pool for another house and another part of a neighborhood like, that's it. I remember driving around when we were building our house and like, you're just driving through these neighborhoods, and they're just full of houses, and everybody that lives in these houses, like that's the most important one of the most important decisions that they've made as a family or as a couple or whatever. And it just
to the other person, that's just another house. But to you, it's everything. And how do you balance that perspective? How do you balance that perspective? For me now, it is quite literally just having that vantage point of understanding that it's just the thing. And it's just something and everybody else has their own thing. And some people have the same thing. And other people have houses and other people have pools, and you're not the only one that's had a travel delay, and you're not the only one that's had something go wrong, or your car break down or whatever. But I, I have found that I have been, unfortunately, so inward looking at times, that when something happens, I take it as a personal attack on me. And it's not, it's just something that happens, and it sucks. And I I feel that the reason that I get so frustrated with that, is because when that happens when I'm the one that's causing that, and I recognize it, boy do I try to go above and beyond to fix it, and maybe there's some overcompensation there. But when I believe that the other people are not going above and beyond or not even just going just to the point, forget above and beyond just to the point of trying to help rectify it. That's when I think a lot of my frustration comes out. And I'm curious to know, if how other people deal with that. And if you're driving around right now, or going for a walk or working out or doing whatever you're doing, listening to this. What situations have you gone through in your life, that have been big, big things for you, maybe it's getting some continuous education, maybe, unfortunately, dealing with a family member that's sick, or your child is starting school or whatever. And it's so consuming to you. And every little detail is so important. But in reality, it's just it's just another thing, and we all deal with it. And we just have to realize that we're not that special. And we're not that important, despite what we tell our kids and despite what we tell ourselves maybe consciously or subconsciously Oh
all right, and now it's time for today's sponsor I wish I had and today's sponsor I wish I had is tied directly from my experience with our pool and it is the JBL Charge five. Now this is a speaker that I had purchased three of and I've used them together. And this is a waterproof speaker. It is dust proof. It is shock resistant. It is it can take a beating out in the sun all day long. It is by far one of the best investments I have ever made. And the battery lasts so long. I'll give you an example. I had this at our house in Texas that had not been charged for two three months. It had sat on our account
her. And then when we moved to Arizona, I got packed up. And it sat in storage until we moved into this house in the springtime. And then it was late spring, before we actually use the speaker in at the pool at our house and played some music and I it had not been charged that entire time. And we still got a couple of hours of music out of it before we even had to charge it. So great battery life, waterproof, dustproof, Sun proof, Justin proof, it is unbelievable. And one of the cool things about it on the top that control panel here, it might be hard to see on the screen. But there's a button where you can daisy chain these things together, as many as you want. I think it's called connector party boosters, something like that. With JBL, basically, you can connect as many of these speakers as you have, and set them up all around, which is exactly what I did, I got three of them, and I kind of connected them and then put them all around the pool facing inward. And then as you're in the pool, the music is there. But you don't have to have the volume cranked on the speakers. So it's not crazy loud all around your backyard. And it's not crazy loud for the neighbors, and the music is facing inwards. So JBL Charge five today's sponsor, I wish I had Oh.
One of the driving factors that helped me realize that having perspective is so critical, especially understanding just where you fit in this giant world. And your problems really aren't that big, is a huge mistake that I made not too long ago at my job. And basically I mistyped something by one letter. And it changed the product that our customer was getting, and ended up being a huge problem that was dragged out for four or five months, and I had to deal with it. And just everyday get up, eat the frog, and it sucked.
And it was a huge deal to the customer. It was equipment that they had depended on. And they were planning on utilizing. And they had to make other plans for several months. So just like me and my wife, we went through the experience with the pool where we were delayed by several months. And that changed our vacation plans when our friends came to town and where we were having birthday parties and get togethers and all that kind of stuff. It was a huge problem for us for several months. But in the grand scheme of things, it happens and you got to get over it. But what helped me get better perspective on that was me being the one who made the giant mess up mistake eff up whatever you want to call it, and having to work my way through it. And that helped me realize that you know what, the mistakes and issues that I've been dealing with, maybe aren't as big as, as I've made them out to be in my own head. But what I realized also was that when I realized that I made the mistake and I just said realized like 50 times, fuck sorry. What I realized when I made the mistake was I tried to rectify it as quickly as possible. I got as many people involved as I needed to. I had a plan that was mapped out with, we're going to do this and then that and then this like like most of us would do when you have when you have a problem when you're the reason for the problem is you try to fix it. But I tried to do everything in my power above and beyond overcommunicate, make sure everybody was up to speed on everything, and stay on top of it throughout the entire process until it was done and over with. And I think where a lot of my frustration comes from is when I feel that other people don't take a version of that same approach, when something that is could be considered a larger scale problem happens to me like the like the pool thing or whatever. And again, it didn't happen to me, it just happened. I'm just, I'm just there. But when I feel that, why aren't you spending time and effort and energy trying to rectify the situation? When that's the case, and that's the way I feel, then I get frustrated. And I still have to learn that it's because not that they don't care about me. It's just maybe that person doesn't care. It's just another job to them. It's just another flight being delayed. It's just another mistake. It's just whatever. So having that perspective of me making my own mistakes and realizing that I was the person who caused a lot of heartache and frustration and rescheduling and problems for other people. And hoping man, I would sure hope that that person would give me the opportunity to correct it before they just exploded on me.
Helped me reframe maybe how I should look at things going forward for when that happens to me when I'm the quote unquote, victim of the problem and not really a victim in any way at all. So I think that's a very important lesson for us to learn as adults and something that we can pass along to our kids and help model that behavior as they grow up and they watch us hopefully watch us grow up a little bit too. Oh.
One of the most frustrating things that my wife and I have both expressed
to each other about
situations and to each other about each other, it has the sort of feeling of, I shouldn't have to be the one to correct this, fix this stay on top of this, whatever. And with our pool example, at the beginning, we hired a pool company. We're not pool experts, we don't even know what to look for. And we caught a lot of issues that we saw just purely happenstance, we happened to be home that day, or at that time, we walked out to check the progress. And we noticed that, you know, they're painting the outside of the house pink, and we're like, what the heck's going on. But the sense that I had during that is, I shouldn't have to be the one to be on top of it. And my wife and I have even had that exchange with each other about things, I shouldn't have to be the one to keep you, on top of making sure you go do your appointments, Justin, or I shouldn't have to be the one for this or that or whatever. And there is truth in that, in the sense that we're adults, and part of supporting each other. And part of being the best version of each other for each other is taking care of your responsibilities, and being respectful enough to your spouse, to your partner, to your friend, to to honor them in the way that, hey, I'm going to take care of my stuff. So they don't have to be exhausted at the end of the day from doing whatever they do, and then also come home and have to clean up all of my messes. Or remind me about things a million times, because I was too busy looking on Instagram or doing whatever, instead of handling my own business. So that part of it is 100% truthful, what I would push back on it for our our relationship and with coworkers and to coach and teach our daughter about stuff is, there's always going to be some of that in life. And you just have to be prepared to deal with it. And you have to, I have to make sure that I don't let my ego get in the way of that kind of stuff where you know, I shouldn't have to do this, well, no, maybe you shouldn't. But guess what, you either do it or something doesn't get done. So
we do the best we can surround yourself with the best people that you can, whether it's at work, or friends or family or whatever, but things are going to happen, you're going to hire a pool company, and they're going to mess up, you're going to hire someone to paint your house, and they're going to mess up, you're going to hire whatever and or you're going to you're going to be in charge of this or someone's going to be in charge of that. And things are going to happen. So you have to be prepared to deal with that. And dealing with those moments. Using grace will go a long way to help you having a much easier time to deal with it in the future. And I think that is a very important lesson is every time that you deal with one of these issues, and you handle it with grace, and maturity and patience. And kindness doesn't mean that you can't be an advocate for yourself, like we've talked about before, or stand up for yourself, or make sure that it gets corrected. But the way in which you handle that can go a long way in evolving you as a person modeling the right behavior for your spouse, your family, your daughter, your son, your co workers, your friends. And over time, all of those little things will be much, much easier. And a great example for that is when I used to cook, you know, the first six months, when something would happen when I'd overcook a steak when I dropped something, when something would burn, it was like oh my god, the end of the world. And after a while you just get good at it, you get comfortable at it, and you could get mad. And if you do, all you're gonna do is slow up the rest of the kitchen. Right? You're gonna piss everybody else off. Because not only did you make a mistake, but now you're throwing frying pans and getting all upset and yelling or whatever. So that doesn't do anything. And I worked with plenty of guys that did that. And it's like, Come on, man, like either get back in it or get the hell out of the kitchen. Like you're just ruining, you're ruining everything. So having the ability to just roll with it, and not get consumed by it and just push through it. That is a great way to to grow and to learn and to model that right behavior for our children. So down the road when something happens to them, that they're not going to freak out. They'll know how to deal with it. And they'll just realize that it's just something that happens, and they'll just push through it. Oh.
And today's just the tip segment, we're going to talk back about the speakers that we were in the sponsor, I wish I had the JBL Charge five but this really applies to any kind of speaker setup. So my just the tip here is if you're looking to create plenty of sound in a larger space, maybe a patio or a backyard, maybe a large living room or something like that, instead of trying to buy the biggest speaker you can and crank it to 11 My advice would be to
Buy multiple speakers that you can daisy chain or connect together and space them throughout the space and creating more points of sound being able to to be able to be heard. And when you do that your overall total volume that you have to turn the speaker up to you is going to be far lower, because you'll have more speakers. Now, again, I understand that there's costs associated with that I'm not telling everybody to run out and go drop $1,000 on speakers. But if you have a backyard, or a courtyard or a patio or a large living room or something like that, and you're trying to create a space, where you can have music being kind of heard in the background, but it's not, you know, that one giant speaker that at every college frat house, where it's just cranking from the corner, then your your way to do that is to buy speakers that can daisy chain together by multiple space them appropriately in the room. And a bonus, just the tip, a little extra tip, if you will,
is going to be to buy front facing speakers. And I'm not a big fan of the the speakers that you set that have a 360 degree sound, that's cool if you set it in the middle of a room. But how often do you have space or a table or something to literally set it in the middle of the room, and then all the people are around it. Or if you're outside on a patio or backyard or a pool, you're probably not going to put the speaker directly in the middle of the patio, or backyard or pool and have the sound go outward. So I recommend buying front facing speakers speakers that project the sound in one direction. And then you can angle that and position the speakers in such a way that you're getting the sound from multiple directions. And now it's surround sound, but you also don't have to crank the volume. So that is my just the tip. And bonus little extra tip for today. Oh
okay. Today's whispering is an Instagram account that I have been following for about a year.
The woman's name is Grace. And her Instagram account is called with Coach grace.
And her message on her account says that she helps serial procrastinators find focus by going to the root cause beyond time management.
And I've really enjoyed following her and consuming her content. Because she really does talk about how it's more than just not budgeting your time well. And now being patient with yourself. And giving yourself some grace can go a long way. And understanding what the problem is, and how the solution is just simple, slow, incremental change. Very positive information, very uplifting. With Coach grace on Instagram, today's whispering
art as we wrap up today, when we talk about we talked about the pool build fiasco, and how we literally went to hell and back in order to get that pool built with only a four month delay and wiping out all of our plans for the summer. But what did that teach it taught perspective. And it also taught how, at the end of the day, your problems, while real and important and genuine, are not necessarily the most important things going on in the world. And the more we can realize that and the more perspective we can have on the reality of our own problems, the better that we can be to be able to deal with those problems. For the sponsor. I wish I had we talked about the JBL Charge five, a front facing speaker that you can daisy chain together with other JBL speakers. It's waterproof dustproof, shockproof it is absolutely awesome. We also talked about being careful not to let your ego be too much of a involvement too much of a player in understanding the problems that you might be dealing with the issues that you might have. And the perspective that you need to work through those great example of that was my big mistake that I made it work cost our company a lot of money cost the customer a lot of money cost other parties involved a lot of money. And it was the biggest deal in the world to them. And they were kind enough to show me some grace. But what I did to return that was I stayed on top of everything and went above and beyond. And that's where my frustration comes from. When I have something goes sideways to me, even though it's not done to me but when I feel that it's done to me is that if I don't feel that the other person or people are trying to help rectify the situation, that's where I get frustrated. And that's where my ego creeps in. So I need to play defense on that. And I'd encourage you to do the same if you deal with that. Or just the tip segment. We talked about buying front facing speakers, and more speakers equals better because it's
is total volume that you have to crank up the speakers on to get the sound. And instead of having the one giant speaker in the corner of your living room, you can have multiple speakers at a lower volume spread out throughout the house or the backyard or the patio or whatever. And you're getting more sound coverage everywhere and less total volume so more people can sit in more places comfortably for are whispering we talked about the Instagram account with Coach Grace deals a lot with positive mindset, procrastination and how it's not just a time management thing, trying to get to what the root causes of why you're procrastinating, and it's different for everybody, but very good account, very positive account. Really, really helpful. I highly encourage you to check that out with Coach grace on Instagram. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Saturday as Saturday. We'll catch you next week. Have a great day.