Your Child's Childhood is NOW

In this episode, I discuss the story of our kitchen table (now well in its mid-30's) and how the memories there shaped my childhood and are currently shaping my daughter's childhood.

For the lesson, it's all about the hear and now...that's right...hear your child, be present, be involved...right now is your child's childhood and how you respond, act, and exist with that helps shape their inner voice and their future.

The advice I give myself and others is to not project your day onto your child's day. We are all tired, frustrated, have arguments with our spouses, etc., but our kids don't deserve to have that put onto them.

Sponsor I Wish I Had:
Mission Foods Carb Balance Tortilla

Just the Tip:
Spray the grill, spray your food.

Whisper In:
Tyler Florence, celebrity chef
 @wolfitdownwithtylerflorenc6759  
@tylerflorence on IG

Check out this related video:   
https://youtu.be/nb-mEnRXpmM?si=P9bKg5Lbe8Wnbv29

Check out the Story. Lesson. Advice. Podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/919333/142... 

Have a topic suggestion for the show? Email me at saturdayisdadurday@gmail.com 

Music by Purple-planet.com Music by Wondershare Filmora 12 

Transcript

If there was one thing that you had to remember or stood out for you in your childhood, what would it be?
Hello, everyone, welcome into another episode of The Story lesson advice podcast part of Saturday is Saturday media si d media.net. Is the website at Saturday is Saturday media is the YouTube and Instagram handle, multiple podcast series, multiple video series, blogs and books all in due time. Thanks for listening, we'll get right into it. As I was saying, if you had to pick something from your childhood that really stood out for you, maybe it was a moment maybe it was a part of your house. Maybe it was kind of a ritual or tradition or something that you'd have, what would that be for you? And for me, one of the things that really sticks out, aside from eating pizza every Christmas Eve because my mom burnt the turkey on the first Christmas Eve when we did that, and the only place open was Pizza Hut. But that's another story. Aside from that, the one thing that really stuck out for me was we had a table and you've probably seen like the memes on on socials where it's like the oak, kind of the wooden oak table, and it's got the the chairs, the slat chairs in the back and it says, you know, everybody or one person you knew it from your childhood, somebody had this table and chairs in their in their kitchen. Oh, that somebody was us in our town. And we had this kind of, you know, old school table. And I remember having dinner every night, there's a family most nights. I remember doing a lot of my homework there. And that was something that was was always this kind of every time I see that or a picture of that, or it brings me back to doing that. And
years ago, my mother moved from Michigan to Texas after my father passed, she moved to Texas to be with my wife and I and eventually our daughter. And she brought guess what the old table the old wooden table it's well in its 30s Now, and then when we moved from Texas to Arizona, she brought the table and it just so happens the way that we kind of hodgepodge all of our stuff together because grandma came with us in the move and we're all living under the same roof, which is also another story. What ends up happening is the kitchen area that we have about grandma's good old wooden table is what's propped up and kind of, you know, the the front and center of the of the kitchen area, which is just great. I just love that that you know, there's a 37 year old table just hanging out in the kitchen. But that has now become my our daughter's table. That is where she sits. And that is where she does her homework. And that is where she does her coloring and all of that kind of stuff. And this past weekend, my wife let her sleep and God bless her, she works so hard and gets up so early. So we let her sleep in. And our my daughter and I went downstairs and we went to the famous table. And we sat there and we did some coloring and we and we cut out some shapes and just mess around with a bunch of stuff and had fun. We drew mom a picture and drew grandma picture and all that. But as I was sitting there, the most obvious thing in the world hit me over the head like a hammer. And that was like how real it became that this this right then in there, that moment of doing that, that is her childhood. And that is her her time. And that table, she's going to remember that table. That was where she spent time doing homework, and coloring and cutting out things and working on little projects and fun stuff like that, and painting and everything. And that was not her childhood. That's her time. And as obvious as that may seem, it really kind of struck me as just how important what we do as parents and what I do as a father, how important how we handle these situations and, and where we are. And all of that just kind of really came just rushing right into me. It could have been the coffee, as well. But it was interesting just to be sitting there on a Saturday morning. And she was just happy as a clam coloring in and using markers and then using crayons and doing all that kind of stuff. But it really just struck me that like wow, that's that's my table. But now that's this is her table and 30 years from now she's going to be seeing that and reminiscing about that and thinking about her time spent at that table. Oh.
All right. And now it's time for this week's sponsor. I wish I had this week's sponsor I wish I had is a massive company, but there's one food that they make in particular that I gravitate towards. And one of the things I absolutely love after living in Texas for nearly 20 years is tortillas, taco shells, tortillas hardshell soft shell tortilla chips. Any way you can get it I love it. I love making my own
I really enjoy the process of making tortillas. I think it's super fun, but not always practical. And it can take a little bit more time than you think. So one of the things that I think my wife found like she finds everything is over the last couple years is mission. They are a giant brand that makes tortillas and tortilla chips and all that kind of stuff. And something that they make is what I'm holding up here. Excuse the crackle for the microphone is their carb balance tortilla. And
I'm sure some people would disagree with with this, but I absolutely love it. I think they taste fantastic. They are only 70 calories. There are good size tortilla. And there are good good weight and good thickness to them. So you could really load them up with you know making taco or making your own burrito, breakfast, lunch, dinner, whatever. They're even good with peanut butter. Not that I had that when I was sick with a sinus infection for two weeks. But I would definitely recommend you can get these at any grocery store, including Costco, WalMart, Target, Albertsons, Kroger, whatever Safeway, whatever it is you shop at. But carb balanced tortilla. By mission, they are really really good, they actually crisp up really well on the oven. And in a pan if you're going to make a case of DHEA, which I often make for our daughter will chill this to a cheese or chicken and cheese case a DHEA. So if you're not if you have not tried these yet, they're only 70 calories. They say on the packaging. They're keto friendly, but they're just really good. They may come in a couple of different
flavors, I believe are wheat, or white, whole wheat flour, I think a spinach or something like that. But Michigan carb balance tortillas, this week's sponsor I wish I had.
Okay, so to get back into the story of me spending my childhood at this oak wood, dining room table, doing homework, having dinner working on projects, fast forward 30 plus years now my daughter is doing the same thing at the same table. And it struck me as the most obvious thing in the world that this that these moments in that moment right there on a Saturday is I'm drinking coffee and she's just going into town coloring and cutting and shapes and doing all the fun things is that that is her childhood right now. This is her childhood. And it made me kind of it just jolted me awake. Not that I hadn't realized this before. But maybe I haven't have just this is it right her right here for her. And the lesson for me is, since this is her childhood, all of the things that are happening now, as obvious as it seems, and all of the things that I do when my wife does, and grandma does, and all of our attitudes and our frustrations. And the time that we're on our phone instead of talking to her or all of that stuff is what's shaping her future. And it's shaping, more importantly, her inner voice. And when Saturday morning rolls around, and we're sitting at the table, and it's my daughter and me, and we're coloring or she's coloring, if I'm there with her, and I'm also coloring or I'm drawing a picture that signals to her Hey, Dad's here, Dad's with me, Dad is part of this experience, as opposed to same setup. She's sitting there coloring away. And I'm sitting there and instead I'm on my phone, and she says, Dad, Dad, look at what I'm making. Look at this picture. And I say, Oh, cool. And I go back to my phone. Now, I'm not saying you can't spend any time on your phone in the mornings, or you can't let your kid be I'm not shaming anybody that maybe doesn't do any of that. And I am by no means the world's greatest when it comes to that kind of stuff either. But it really struck me as all of the time that that when she speaks to me, or to mom or to grandma, and I'm there and we're there. And we're listening to her, we're giving her her voice. All of those moments are shaping her future the her shaping her inner voice, how she thinks of herself, how she thinks mom and dad think of her and how she is going to relay that to other people and project that on to other people. And all of my reactions, and all of my attitudes, all of that, that helps shape all of that the inner voice, how she thinks of herself how she thinks we think of her everything. And I want to make sure that at a minimum. I just don't do anything to mess it up. And I don't do anything overt and to negatively impact that and at best. I hope I can contribute to her having just a wonderful, wonderful childhood.
And the part that's tough about this lesson is, there's no days off, right? We all know that as parents, it's day in, day out when you're tired, when work sucks when you're arguing with your spouse. And to put it another way for myself that I think about is, is, has it been important to me to be there for my kid,
and has been important to you to be there for your kid or kids? And all those times that our kids asked us to play? Did did we? Did we participate? Or did we outsource that to something else? And I've certainly outsourced it to an iPad or to TV, or to a coloring book or whatever. But what did we do to help shape that particular moment in our child's childhood. And I've not been perfect at that at all. But I really try to focus on when we're together that I'm with her and I am present. And I am I am there. And I challenge all of us as parents to make sure that we do that. And it's easier than ever to be distracted. And it's also easier than ever to outsource the parenting to just anything else. And in our case, it's a little bit unique. And maybe other people deal with this where we live with grandma or grandma lives with us, right? So because of that, it's even easier to outsource the parenting to Grandma, you know, we're tired. It's been a long day, or it's Saturday or Sunday, and we just want to hang out and relax and not be you know, not run around and do stuff. Oh, yeah, go go play with grandma. Right? We can easily do that. And sometimes we do. But I really try to focus on being with my daughter now, right being next to her playing with her, talking with her telling jokes to each other. All of those little deposits are what being a parent is all about. Like I said, day in, day out. It's all about that every day. All of those deposits over the years, are going to create the kind of relationship or 10 years from now, she's going to be able to come to me about something big. And she might not want to because she'll be a teenager and she thinks mom and dad are lame and she doesn't want to have anything to do with us and all that I'm understand that is coming and I'm stealing myself for that. But all of those moments of me playing Avengers with her and coloring at the table on Saturday mornings and telling silly jokes about why did the cookie go to the hospital because he felt crummy. All of those things will come back into focus when she finally needs her mom and dad. And she'll be okay to come with us come to us with that. Because for her entire life, Mom and Dad were there. And that is something that I constantly remind myself that it is so important that we do that that we show up every day. Because that is the difference between 10 years from now. Her being comfortable and knowing that mom and dad were there every day and having that bridge and having that road open to be able to communicate now maybe I'm fooling myself, but I'd rather fool myself thinking Miss than not being concerned about it and outsourcing the parenting every chance I got
moving right along now it's time for this week's just the tip and kind of keeping with the the food theme of the sponsor here. Another food just the tip is almost grilling season, right, which I absolutely love. I love grilling anything and everything I can I just think it adds such a great flavor. It's a very healthy, it can be a very healthy cooking method. I know some people will argue the the carcinogens and all that but as far as cooking I think it's it's it's just awesome. But oftentimes when we cook stuff, stuff sticks to the grill, and that's usually one of two reasons One, your grill isn't hot enough. And two is you probably didn't use any type of fat, any oil or anything like that to help sort of grease the grill if you will, to help help in that not sticking. So my advice to you for a quick hack, and there might be some professionals out there that roll their eyes and roll over. But we used to do this sometimes some of the restaurants I worked at if you have a grill, go ahead and spray the grill with like a nonstick spray or we have olive oil spray at home just use that and then or you can rub it with rub the grill with you know some oil on with on some onion or something like that. And then I also if I have a piece of fish or I have a steak or a piece of chicken or whatever is I'll lightly spray that protein as well. So you spray the grill you spray the fish doing those two things and then put it spray side down which is also presentation side down so that side goes down first when you're grilling those two things, making sure the grill is hot enough and then waiting until the appropriate time to to lift it up and turn it
or flip it, those things will help make sure that your food doesn't stick and you won't have a bunch of the food stuck to the grill and and ruin whatever it is you're grilling, especially when it comes to like fish, you know, steak and chicken, they can, they can take a little bit more of a beating, but fish is usually delicate. So the quick tip here is make sure your grill is hot enough, make sure you use some sort of food lube. And then if you're going to do something like spray the grill, spray the grill and then also spray the food lightly. And that will help with making sure that the food does not stick. If you're not going to spray it then at least make sure that you use some form of oil or something like that on the protein and then add your seasoning that will help the seasoning stick as well. So that is this week's quick just the tip on grilling, and thumbs up and bears open to grilling season starting soon.
So we talked about the story of the table. And what a great metaphor that is for my childhood, my daughter's childhood sort of being passed down and the memories that are created there. And the time that's spent there. Talked about the lesson of obviously, but this is our children's childhood. I know that sounds silly. But these moments day in day out, this is what they are going to remember. And just like we have our memories of what we remember about our childhood positive or otherwise, these moments right here, this is it for our kids. And once it's gone, it's gone. So understanding the importance of that understanding the showing up being there for our kids day in day out making those daily deposits, because that's what parenting is. And as an added benefit, hopefully, maybe I'm fooling myself, but hopefully, down the road that creates the open road or the bridge. So when they need mom and dad for real for something serious, they can come to us knowing that we've been there the whole time. So it's not going to feel like this awkward thing where Okay, I'm going to meet the CEO today, I've never met the person before. No, I've met this person, I've met with them every day. So that, to me is a great lesson to learn the advice that I would give myself in the moment and if I could go backwards. And what I would tell our daughter in the future is I think a big issue with the the conflicting with the lesson that I was talking about is as parents, how we project onto our kids, how we project our problems, and our frustrations onto our kids and how those things we might not even realize it can negatively impact their childhood, like our daughter should have a great day and a great night when she comes home from school regardless of whether or not I had a bad day at work, or my wife had a bad day at work or regardless of whether or not my wife and I had an argument. Or if we're not feeling well, or if we're tired, whatever that is, we can't let that spill on to being short with our daughter being frustrated with our daughter, which I have done multiple times. And you know, outsourcing the parenting that night because we just don't feel like it or whatever. Those things have a tendency to pick up steam and pick up momentum. And then before you know it, and we've been guilty of this too, is we're not having dinner together as a family hardly at all. And you know, we're short with our daughter and frustrated about our daughter, you know, doing homework or cleaning up a room or whatever. And then we're like, oh, yeah, she's five, like, you know, it's gonna take time, I've never met anybody that couldn't figure out how to use, you know how to do math, or how to write their name or how to read, couldn't never met anybody that you know, couldn't function as a normal, normal human being. So give it time, it'll happen. But the advice that I really try to stick to myself is remember that I do not want to project my negatives on onto her. And it's human nature that some of its going to happen, but the upper down of my day should not be allowed to impact the upper down of her day. And if she's having a tough day, then regardless of I'm having a tough day, that's where being a parent is right coming in and stepping up. So that is the advice I would give myself is do not project my issues on to my our daughter, and whatever that is and I would challenge everybody listening to make sure that you're doing the same.
All right, and now it's time for this week's Weisberg. And this week's whispering is one of my culinary heroes. This was the guy that I watched on TV and inspired me to want to go cook professionally. And I remember sitting there on the couch thinking can I can do this and
had it was he was Ben such an inspiration. And he's super, super famous. He's a super decorated chef. His name is Tyler Florence. And you can find them on Instagram at Tyler Florence. I think he's on Tik Tok and all the other socials. But his Instagram profile reads a two time Beard Foundation nominee, Best Chef west coast. He has the chef and owner of Wayfare Tavern
in San Francisco. He has Michelin Guide listed for app, Miller and Lux, which is a restaurant that has multiple locations now. One in Hawaii, and one of them in San Francisco. And then he also has Miller and Lux provisions, which is in downtown San Francisco. He has been all over the Food Network for decades, he has had multiple cooking shows, he has had multiple cookbooks that I own Tyler Florence, you will not find a cooler, better chef. So that is this week's Whisperer in color farts celebrity chef at just the man
right as we wrap up another episode of the store lesson advice podcast quick note, this will be moving to two times per month. And the reason for that is because I am bringing on a whole bunch more new content. So I will be having this podcast released on week one for example. And then this video of the podcasts will follow on YouTube, along with a product review video that I'm doing an unboxing and product review series. And then week two, we will have the I hate reading podcast book review, which is really more of a video
medium, but it will be available for audio podcasts and the video for that as well. Then Week Three will repeat with the story lesson advice, podcast video, another product review video, week four will repeat with the I hate reading, podcast and then the video component of that. And then also I'll be folding in some cooking videos as well. So we're getting up to steam here. And the plan was always to kind of get this going and then pull back a little bit make it more manageable. So I can kind of have everything going at once. So over the course of a month, we'll have four podcast episodes, I'll have two product review videos, I'll have eventually four cooking videos. So it'll be a lot of stuff across podcasting across YouTube across Instagram. So I'm excited about that. As we wrap up here just a quick summary the story of spending time at the table was my table. Now my daughter's table. The lesson of right now this moment, this is our kids childhood. And we need to make sure that we are present and we are doing everything we can to be involved and be part of their childhood. And the advice I would give is don't project our our day on to our kids. If we have a bad day, if we're arguing with our spouse, if we're feeling down about ourselves, whatever it is that our kids don't deserve to have that projected onto them. They deserve to have us show up every day. And that's the good and the bad about parenting is it can be a real kick in the ass sometimes. So that is that the sponsor I wish I had was the mission carpet balance tortillas, you can get them at any grocery store. They are super awesome and they crisp up really well in the oven or on a site in a saute pan. If you're doing a quick tortilla or quick case study for the kids. The just the tip, little grilling season tip. If you're going to make sure your food doesn't stick on the grill, make sure your grill is clean. Make sure it's hot enough. Make sure it's lubed up with some type of oil or something. And then also make sure the same is true with your food. Make sure your food has oil on it or if you have olive oil spray, you want to give it a quick quick spray before you set it down. Don't go overboard but that'll help make sure that your food does not stick to the grill. And then the whispering my man my favorite chef ever. Tyler Fornes he was the first guy really listened to and followed and watched his TV shows really inspired me to want to cook professionally actually met him totally random. When I was in Dallas at a book signing I ranted about his book and got a signature and got to talk to them for a few minutes. But man go check out his Instagram he is just rockin and rollin. Just awesome very approachable food very elevated, but very approachable. Food and just couldn't couldn't seem like a cooler nicer guy. So go check that out. Thank you for listening to another episode of The Story lesson advice podcast. Sid media dotnet is the website at Saturday is Saturday media is the YouTube and Instagram handle where you can find all the new stuff we're just about ready to release can get real busy around here. So thank you very much for listening. And we'll see you next time. Have a great day.