Hang tight as we embark on a riveting journey with Paizley, the charismatic force behind Peach Honey, an innovative CBD joint brand. Paizley joins us to delve into the realms of entrepreneurship and share insights into her brand, Peach Honey. Our conversation dives into personal growth and addressing mental health. Paizley doesn't hold back, and we are all the better for it. We find ourselves laughing as we discuss TikTok, explore the unglamorous side of entrepreneurship, dissect the scene in LA, and unravel the art of building a brand. And, of course, we also engage in the essential task of debunking the allure of chasing "it".
Paizley's IG:
@paizleylaura
Paizley's TikTok:
@paizleylaura
Peach Honey Website:
https://peachhoney.co/
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Hang tight as we embark on a riveting journey with Paizley, the charismatic force behind Peach Honey, an innovative CBD joint brand. Paizley joins us to delve into the realms of entrepreneurship and share insights into her brand, Peach Honey. Our conversation dives into personal growth and addressing mental health. Paizley doesn't hold back, and we are all the better for it. We find ourselves laughing as we discuss TikTok, explore the unglamorous side of entrepreneurship, dissect the scene in LA, and unravel the art of building a brand. And, of course, we also engage in the essential task of debunking the allure of chasing "it".
Paizley's IG:
@paizleylaura
Paizley's TikTok:
@paizleylaura
Peach Honey Website:
https://peachhoney.co/
You can watch the full episodes on our Youtube
Youtube - Confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s TikTok:
@wannabeitgirlpodcast
Confessions of A Wannabe It Girl’s IG:
@confessionsofawannabeitgirl
Hi guys and welcome back to confessions of a wannabe it girl. This episode is so fun and such a banger and we're talking about entrepreneurship. I am joined by the wonderful, the funny Paisley from Peach Honey. Peach Honey is a line of CBD joints and I have to say I get one and try and I slept like a baby. I don't think I'd slept that good in like three weeks.
Speaker 1:In this episode, paisley and I dive so much into the world of entrepreneurship. We talk about the unglamorous sides how to show up on TikTok with your brand and also just how to show up on TikTok authentically. We talk about managing having a side hustle while having other full time jobs and how you keep yourself all straight and organized and whatnot. We talk on taking care of yourselves. We even touch on sober curiosity or what it's like to be sober. We of course, love to talk about mental health and how we manage our mental yas yas. And it wouldn't be confessions of a wannabe it girl if we didn't talk about the scene of LA and demystifying the classic it. This was a super fun episode because we are both originally from New Mexico and we get to talk about what it was like to move to LA and kind of just all the crazy scene of it, and it was a super fun episode for me to record and I can't wait for you guys to listen.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Confessions of a wannabe it girl. I'm your host, marley Fraging, and I'm here to help you filter out all the bullshit and become the next it girl. This podcast explores the reality of what it really takes to make it out there. As it turns out, it is way less Instagramable than I thought it was going to be. I'm still very much a work in progress, but there's simply nothing else I'd rather be doing than chasing my dreams. So let's learn from my mistakes and work together to achieve our dreams with more confidence, clarity and direction. Let's get after it.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to Confessions of a wannabe it girl. Today, I am joined by Paisley, the owner and founder of Peach Honey. I fell in New Mexico, girly, and Peach Honey is a beautiful line of CBD pre-rolled joints and I'm just so excited to get talking to you about your brand and a bunch of other things. So welcome to the show, paisley. Thank you so much for having me. This is so fun. I'm so excited. I love it. Okay, so let's start with Peach Honey, obviously. Why did you decide to start?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think it sort of became this initial brain child of wanting to do something for myself and wanting to do something I was really passionate about, and so that sort of pulls the thread of evolution of what comes from that and also taking into account life events. So originally it was concepted of this like CBD skincare line and I'm running a million miles an hour with it, I'm trying to get an investor on board. I put in my two weeks with my office and then COVID hits, like literally the day I quit my job and was like, well, this is shocking news, things are going to be different. And so I think like, luckily, I tried to remain open and see what came to me and I was introduced to CBD flower and I immediately knew like, oh, this is it, this is Peach Honey. This is like I want to invoke the expression get gooey.
Speaker 2:That comes with my brand has always been a part of it, even from the inception of skincare, because the whole idea around it is like finding ways to find moments to fall in love with yourself, and that always feels like a really gooey experience for me to just feel so authentically connected to me that I'm just like all gooey and in love and like, and that's the most open and connected I can be with people, and as someone who has struggled with anxiety their whole life, to find like a release in something like CBD flower that wasn't a mask or a bandaid, like alcohol or weed Like you know, you can shut off the anxiety with those things, but it's going to come back tenfold no worse with alcohol, exactly Like the anxiety is real.
Speaker 2:And so to find something that felt like it just rounded the edges a little bit, gave me that gooey feeling and allowed me to like take a moment to still connect with myself in the same way that I wanted to, with like this lotion, like taking a shower and putting on lotion and just being like, oh my God, I just like feel gooey and I love my body, and so I just I just knew that was it, and so I leaned in really hard. My crits mushrooms for a month, beautiful, built my website in the day like redesign the packaging. I couldn't even build a website today if I tried. I don't know how I did that, but it's there and I'm thrilled about it and and and thus Pee Chani was born, and it's been like a really fun ride since, but it really was born out of a desire to create some independence for myself and in a professional world and find a way to connect with others and hopefully give them like a dose of of gooeyness in their life.
Speaker 1:We love it. So it starts as the skincare and then transitions to flour, and then you get this transition of getting it all off the ground. What does it look like? You've just made it.
Speaker 2:You're like so professional, oh my God, I wish I literally thought like, oh, I've, I've listened to all the how I built this with Guy Razz. Oh beautiful, I know business and now I will be a successful business lady. I open the doors and I make all the money and I can't wait to buy a Birken in two years. Like that's literally a delusional thought. I had Plot twist. It doesn't work like that. So I've.
Speaker 2:It's been ups and downs. It's been like you know, you don't know until you know there's so much preparation that you can do in going into it, which, again, is not really like my MO. As a person, I'm more like I learned through osmosis. I need to fly by the seat of my pants, I just need to like go out and do it, and so you do that and you learn through your mistakes.
Speaker 2:Like my payment processor didn't work for like a month I was having people like Venmo me, and then I got like banned from Venmo and like there's just it's just me in my living room being like you can do this, like figure it out, and so, yeah, it hasn't been like this glamorous, super lucrative lifestyle. I still keep my full time job, but I'm grateful that I've always been a position that I can like pursue it out of passion and not like desperation of like, oh, if I don't sell enough this month, I'm not going to make rent, which is a lot more things to manage with my time, which adds to the like, non glamorousness of entrepreneurship, but is is like incredibly rewarding and and feels really cool and and like a sense of accomplishment when I do solve those weird little hiccups that pop up. So that's fun.
Speaker 1:Totally and like the nitty gritty of getting a business on the ground. There's so many entrepreneurial women who listen to this Like did you have a business plan? Did you just figure it out as you go? What would you maybe do?
Speaker 2:differently. Yeah, I mean, I think there was like a lot of fumbling around. I think asking for help from people that you trust along the way to just sort of bounce ideas off is really important. Like having a really supportive community is huge in this. This cannot exist in a vacuum, and I know there's like there's a debate on that of like you know, if you want to do something, you keep it to yourself like grind in silence, like this weird, like hustle culture that's like 50 50 on that one for me.
Speaker 2:It's a 50 50. And also, like I just think you know we're not, we're not designed to be alone, and so you know, if you've got people that you really trust, lean into them, like lean into your community through this. And I had people in the creative side and on the business side that I've got to kind of pick brains from. I wish, like looking back on everything and just in life in general, I've taken that like accounting and like, yeah, just the number side of it. I'm such a creative mind and there's definitely like I had this envision in my head of like, okay, I need a thousand of these things, I need 10. I'm like I did not need to spend all that money with all that up front. Like there was definitely like calculations that could have gone better and you know, other than that, like I just think going through the door is so important.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of people I've seen in my life that I've been friends with or just known, of like having an idea or like wanting to pursue a passion and getting so stuck in the idealization of it and not like going through the door and so and it feels like a jump off a cliff and sometimes you just have to do it and it's not going to be perfect, and like really surrendering and making peace to that, that like it's going to be messy and that's okay. And to just like you're going to regret not doing it If you have something you're really passionate about and you just you just decide not to because you're like, well, it's just not right. There's an unmovable goalpost with that. It's never just going to be right. You kind of just have to like jump sometimes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's never the perfect time, and there's never. There's never a perfect time to tell people you're going to start something. The only thing you can do is start something and see how people react once you're already in it. Oh, yeah, cause I think what you were saying about you know. You hold it in and maybe don't share with anybody. Like you're starting on this new venture. You're starting this new project, this new brand, whatnot? I think keeping it a secret for me. I've realized that is showcasing my fear of that. I'm scared it's not going to be successful. Yeah, and if you share with the people you love and trust, I think it shows that you believe in it and you want your community to believe in you too. Yeah, and if they're there for you, great. And if they're not, move on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we all we carry this perspective of like other people's views of us are so much harsher than they actually are.
Speaker 2:Like when I was, when I was concepting this, I made, like this big announcement on social media. I took like a very Steve Jobs ex-mask like portrait and was like I'm launching this skincare and like put out this statement from this branding company that I came up with and and like I didn't do that, like that essentially, in its own little way, failed. Like and I came out with something else and I remember feeling so nervous of like I've set this date for, like when I want to want these joints and like how do I create this? And like nobody really cares.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we come up with this whole thing and I think it's like you know, perpetuated by social social media, that you're like on this really big billboard all the time and like everyone's paying attention and judging and like the reality is they're not and everyone cares about you but nobody needs a kid. Yeah, you know, like, as much as my ego hates to hear that I'm like you, mean the world doesn't revolve around me, I'm not special, like how dare you? But like there it's. You know nobody's ever as harsh as we think they are or as judgmental as we think they are. And to live your life in a place of like worrying about what they think. It sounds so cliche, like don't worry about what other people think, but like you really can't let that dictate the decisions that you make.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the number one thing to hold people back, and I think also, you know, we talk a lot about social media on the show too that is what holds people back from posting things. So they're like they're scared of the cringe, they're scared of the reaction people are going to give, and it's like you know I'm going to hear it maybe.
Speaker 2:So like, just give it a go, just give it a go and it doesn't even matter. Like, so what if somebody like you know, like I'm sure my Instagram and all kinds of stuff has been screen shot it and sent it and said, like whatever, but like, I'm having a great time. So, no, my monkey is not my circus, you know what I mean. Like oh, she's the TikTok girl. Sounds like a personal problem over there, you know. But but I get it.
Speaker 2:And that's not to like invalidate or discredit people's fears, because it is such a weird thing Like I think, especially with youth today, I can't imagine being in high school and then you about posting my prom pictures on Instagram With, like, the ability to like edit and face tune things. Like I don't even have a frontal cortex at that point and you want to give me the ability to change my body at the age Like I can't even imagine that's got to be so hard. And none of this is to discredit people's fear with any of that, but more of just like an encouraging to say fuck it, we ball and do a happy you know 100%.
Speaker 1:So you're sitting with Peach Honey in COVID and I think I heard you talk about you had this like all nighter where you had to like roll all three joints and like I was like I would have liked to see that on social media too. Oh my God, For like all three, Like what was the clip.
Speaker 2:That was yeah. So I had this TikTok where I responded to some Trump supporter. I I've been a little more controversial from time to time. However you want to say it Just just sort of trolling him and telling him to smoke Peach Honey because it would. It would chill him out a bit, which is not wrong. No, we're not wrong. It was a valuable business proposition for the man and people really popped off about it, which was amazing. I got like 75 orders, which was a huge deal, but I didn't have any of the automatic machinery that I do now that, luckily, that TikTok afforded me. So thank you for that, sir. So I have my joints come as like little cones, so you just stuff them with weed.
Speaker 2:I'm slowly developing Purple Tunnel, I'm sure from this experience but yeah, like hold a whole all nighter to fill everything and like I'm a zombie by the end of it. But it was one of those experiences that felt so rewarding at the end. And you know, I there's parts of me that I think, yeah, that fear of like well, people aren't going to think I'm legit enough If I show them that it's just me watching murder documentaries being like be okay, that's for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, just like folding all these little joints, Like I'm, like I want, you want to be perceived as like this very serious business lady, and that you've got it all together.
Speaker 1:But it's not so picture perfect, it's not so glamorous, and I actually love that. That TikTok we're just talking about the darkness of social media is also like it's great, like that was a funny response. People really related to it and it did something great for your business as well. I also want to talk a little bit about you on TikTok. I think you like gently drop your brand in so like casually. Is that on purpose or just?
Speaker 2:by chance. Yeah, I think it's a little bit of both Like. It definitely feels like a bit of a marketing strategy to be able to put it in. That's not like a hey guys, come smoke Pei Chen'e at 1-800-peachen'ecom, like I. I it feels like a little bit like a fun thing. And also, being that it's a CBD joint brand, I can't make little aesthetic videos. Tiktok will take it down and sit like, yeah, so the way that I can market this looks different than somebody else might with a different product or service based business, and and it also, you know, will feel the most authentic to me to go. You know, I'm I wouldn't say I'm like a you know the influencer. That's like here's my day-to-day life, but I'm pretty transparent about who I am and what I do and my anxieties and all of that, and so, yeah, naturally it just sort of, like you know, weaves into my videos here and there.
Speaker 1:Right, but it's also pretty authentic to you from what I'm getting. Like the branding looks like what you show up like on TikTok, like it all is very linked. Did that inspiration for how the branding would come out come from like you, or did you have an idea of what you thought it was going to look like? Going into it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so a little bit of both. I mean, I definitely knew a general vibe I wanted to embody. I worked with this branding company that designed a lot of the work for what would have been the skincare company that I sort of then got to interpret. But I think when you're defining your brand and defining the look of it, it's a lot of just figuring out what you don't want and so, and when you know it's wrong, then when you know, it's like absolutely right, because I remember designing the boxes as they are today and, interestingly enough, my brand is like very neutrally toned.
Speaker 2:But I wanted to create this like sort of nostalgic, like kind of 70s, 80s, like I would describe like Palm Springs Playboy Bunny, you know, kind of ask thing, just like a general vibe here, and you sort of start with this cloud and then you start kind of like weaving it in and I would finalize things, and then I would like wake up in the middle of the night and be like no, it all has to be bright orange, we have to scrap this, we need to do something different, and so it's a lot of like trial and error in that sense. But it's interesting that it's such a neutral brand, like if you come into my home, every room is a different color. I'm like very maximalist and this is sort of like the opposite of all of that, but still feels very much in line with me. I think there's something really classic about it and I also think a lot of stuff in the CBD and weed space is a whole is like a really male dominated look and it's a lot of like aggressive. Yeah, there's like a lot of aggression and harshness and like lions sometimes.
Speaker 2:I don't know Like. It's just like really weird and I wanted there to be like a delicateness with it and like a breath of femininity in the space, and so that's kind of what I wanted to like embody with it. And then I thought, well, I can't make it pink girls, no guys ever going to buy it. So that's why I went neutral. But we love neutral.
Speaker 2:We love neutral girl. Yeah, We'll sprinkle a little girly pop here and there. So you know it's been fun to kind of work with that palette when it's a little different than my normal day to day, Totally.
Speaker 1:So you're balancing like a ton of different things. I feel like the marketing TikTok you said you have another full time job Like how do you keep yourself?
Speaker 2:like straight, great question. Sometimes I don't, yeah, but I have a whole lot of yas yas in me. I've got a whole lot of excitement and, prior to me, joining the world of corporate again, which was a recent thing in the last three months, which I'm like I guess this is what we're doing. Health insurance is nice. I was like just fully freelancing before. I was apartment leasing and running social media for different companies and doing interior design projects, which was like amazing and like really great during COVID Because there's so much fun in that, so much fun.
Speaker 2:But it gets tiring, it's exhausting, yeah, it's exhausting. And what I found actually the most exhausting is when it gets slow, because when I'm busy, I can prioritize, I can time manage. And the days yeah, the days that it's like oh, I don't have a project for a week, I'm like okay, I don't know where my next check's coming from and I don't know what to do with my days and I'm trying to like spin the wheel on different things with peach honey or like this. Like you, it's almost hard when you don't have a built schedule, because then you don't know when to turn it off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's actually when I find myself being the most depressed. Yes, because I'm like I don't actually know what to do with myself.
Speaker 2:I don't know what to do with myself, and it's really hard. And then you think that you're failing in some way because I'm not busy and like I'm like, well, I can take a day off. And then I'm like, how can I be more productive about relaxing? Yes, and it's not healthy, you know, and I'm always kind of like I was always kind of like lightly on edge, of like, okay, I've always got to be working, and so, you know, and then the economy took a shift in the last eight months. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, shit got weird out there, and so, obviously, like the freelance projects that I were getting weren't coming in as frequently. And you know, girls got to eat, girls got to pair rent. I'm apparently the one paying my bills, which is rude. Yeah, I'm tired of this, grandpa, I don't want to do it anymore. But like we will prevail, we will make it.
Speaker 2:And so when I got a phone call to kind of jump back into the world of corporate was some people that I used to work with in my previous life I went, okay, you know why not. So that was another shift in like trying to keep it straight and like trying to balance, saying again of like the first couple of weeks I was like you guys, it's two, we've already been here all day. We don't go home yet. Like how do you do this?
Speaker 2:It's getting dark at four, yeah, like I'm like I'm exhausted, like what do you mean? We don't get into the fetal position at one point, like I used to just do that and so I'm sort of re-adapting my schedule and that and like trying to come home and still have energy to like dedicate to peach honey and everything. But I'm getting better at it and I'm being more forgiving with myself and that that you know. I think when you're trying to do things like entrepreneurship and freelance life, you can just be so critical of yourself because you're just working alone all day and it doesn't matter how much you did. Nobody's there to recognize that and there's always. There's always something more to do.
Speaker 1:Well, I started to get, because I lived the freelance life, I started to get really insecure because my friends would be like, how can you go to Disney on a Wednesday? And I'd be like, well, I don't work all the time, I'm the president of the company.
Speaker 1:Right, I can literally do whatever I want, exactly, but like you're, kind of like I started to feel bad about it or something, but like I'm actually like I'm working five different jobs, just not all at the same time, and yeah, but it's like a weird, weird balance of handling the freelance life and I think it's, yeah, so glamorized and yet not as realistically as stable as it looks on, it's hard to maintain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and also, like I wasn't ever taught to like how to manage money, like I don't know, like I don't know what I'm doing. You know, I'll be very transparent about that. I think money is like a weird taboo thing and, like you know, I'm not good at it.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm actually significantly very bad and my parents are very good, so it's not even a genetic like thing, oh my God.
Speaker 2:No, I wish my mom's good at it. But yeah, I definitely. I get money and it like burns a hole in my pocket. It's all in my closet which I'm not mad at, but I also.
Speaker 1:You don't mean Amazon returns is money I got paid, right Girl yeah.
Speaker 2:So I definitely think you know I would like to see myself back on more of a freelance world where I can. I don't take any money from Peach Honey. I keep everything in the business. I would like that to change at some point.
Speaker 1:I would like this to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel good about it. I do, I do, I feel like I've gotten my energy towards it. And you know, I just I'm the corporate life is fine. I just I like doing my own thing, girl. I don't, I don't work, I'm like what do you mean? I have to tell you what I'm doing all day, which is a very valid ask of them. But I'm like, but it feels invasive. I'm like leave me alone, I'm doing it, okay. So, yeah, it's definitely, it's definitely interesting, but I try to take time to like appreciate my work, I think, because I know that I have, I know that I have a good one, and I want to like celebrate that about myself and be easy on myself in the process, you know, and not try to burn out too much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's another interesting thing. How do you keep yourself from burning out when all these feels are turning?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think really prioritizing a self care routine, which sounds so cliche, but it's not just like, but it's real, it's real. And it's not like coming home and making sure you put on your face creams. It's like I need to make sure that I'm working out every day, because if I'm not working out, I'm feeling crazy and like I've started to introduce acupuncture into my life. Oh yeah, um yeah, as a way to like help mitigate anxieties and my hormone levels, I got off birth control.
Speaker 2:This year which was like a whoa Kind of moment. Yeah girl, it was crazy. Meditating is a big part of my practice now and therapy weekly like Amen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like, and self care is like spending time with your community and like being around people you love and like traveling when you can and like incorporating things in your life that are also playful and fun and make you feel good, because it doesn't have to all be work and it's hard to see out of that sometimes, like I think a lot of people, especially in entrepreneurship, are just like well, I have to see this through and that becomes like a lot of sacrifice and I think sometimes the imbalance can do great harm to like your mental health and your relationships, and I don't ever want to lose sight of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I also find when you hit burnout you actually start becoming destructive to think you're passionate, the career, whatever, because you're not giving good quality work. I think you're giving like strained I call it like phone level bad, like battery level work and like the phone's not operating as good as it could. So like this would be better if you just rested and did it tomorrow and stuff.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly. I couldn't agree with that more.
Speaker 1:You mentioned working out and like health. I know that you haven't. You don't drink and you haven't drank for like five years. I know a lot of people in this day and age are super, super curious. Yeah, Can you tell me about like how you made that shift and like how it's affected you and what your advice would be for somebody who's curious about sobriety?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think the number one thing when you're exploring the world of sobriety is to release any sort of shame around it. I think there's so much shame around like this idea of sobriety, and then it needs to be this structured thing and there's no judgment on what's right for you, for me. I didn't. I wasn't the type of alcoholic that needed a drink every time I came home, but I was the type of alcoholic that if I went out, I didn't know when to stop, and I just always attributed that to like, well, I'm just having fun, like I'm just a young, I'm just a girl.
Speaker 1:I'm literally just a girl having fun and it's like, yeah, it's a high life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I'm partying and it's fine. And it wasn't fine a lot of the times and maybe my level of what's not fine is okay for others Like there's no one set and rule for it. And I sort of had an experience on a trip where I flipped that switch. I was like I'm going to party. I got really drunk. I don't know how I got back to my hotel Like thank God I was okay. I'm convinced my grandma, margaret, got me back, my angel, and it wasn't like.
Speaker 2:I woke up the next morning and was like that's it. I swore it away Like I'm done. But I had been wrestling with this like voice in the back of my head that had been telling me not to drink for like a very long time and I kept trying to argue with it that I had it under control and it became this very like emotional decision. And then I had left a boxing class one night at a gym that I love and have been for many, many years, and I was just sort of dropping in at the time and I left going oh my God, like I wish I could afford that membership again and I recognize that the monthly membership fee was what I spent on in evening and booze easily, and that was it. Like the second, it was a financial like logical thing that I couldn't argue Like there was nothing to like out.
Speaker 2:Smart in that, yeah, that was it Like I was like, oh, money, math, that's math I can't understand. And that was it. It was like this beam of consciousness moment and I was done with it and I haven't ever missed it. I don't ever want to be drunk again, like that's just not my thing, but I have, within like the last year, the only thing I ever missed was like a really dry glass of red wine that just like sucks all the moisture out of your mouth when you eat some Italian food. So the only thing I ever missed and so I've let myself, on like special occasions, here and there, like have a little glass of red wine and I can't even finish a glass, but I just, I love that for me.
Speaker 2:And there was a moment of shame of it in the beginning where I was like, no, like I don't drink, like what, like what are they going to think of me? And it's like, okay, it's fine, I know that this works for me, I'm not bad, I haven't done something bad and and you know that's what I found that was safe in it. And so I think anybody who is like trying to approach that lifestyle of like assessing, of like, do I really need this Like to recognize that there's no rules with it and you just have to find what feels right and safe to you. I can say from experience that people are like really respectful when you're just like I just don't drink, and people are like cool, you know, and instead of like in the past I'd be like well, I'm not drinking this month, they'd be like, oh, come on, yeah, you know, just have a shot, which is like so peer pressurey.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I think that you know, just like kind of honoring what, what makes the most sense for you, and not feeling like there's one right way to do it, like some people I know went through AA and that really worked for them. It was not a program that spoke to me and like that's okay, you know. So, yeah, I think it's. I think, with Beach Honey too, also like having something that I sort of rounded the edges with helped a lot with that, because there are moments where I would go out and feel like left out a little bit, like people have reached the state of consciousness around me and I am not with it. No, you know, and so a way to feel like I'm still kind of like participating and having an experience was really, really helpful. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love what you're saying about it's not like a one size fits all. I think that's true with like a lot of self-help too, because, like I hear I used to hear this all the time like you're so stressed, you should meditate. I'm like that is like the worst thing to say to somebody who is stressed out. Like you won't. You're telling me like go meditate. Like I don't, I don't understand it. I don't get what you're saying. Also, I feel like you're just saying like you're a really stressed person, you should calm down, and like it was equivalent to like fuck off to me, yeah, and so I. You know I don't meditate really. I tried, but like I found like cleaning and reorganizing the apartment is great, it's, that's really fine. And I love what you're saying with like it can be with something as extreme as sobriety, like there is no one way to get there. There's no rules. Yeah, do it at your own pace, your own way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the question you asked yourself along the way is like is is what I'm doing harmful to myself or others? You know cause? There's things you're like oh, I don't drink anymore, but like I became a sex addict or something.
Speaker 2:It's like hey man, I was just kind of trading the shoe but like yeah, you have to find the practice that works for you. Like meditation doesn't work for you, it works for some other people. And like organizing and cleaning works for you, Like great, you know. To think that there's like an answer that we're all supposed to be abiding by is crazy low code and enters to me.
Speaker 1:Right, like we're not all the same and like we've been told, like your whole life, like you're so special. Why do we assume that the same thing that works for person A works for you? Like it shouldn't be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to ask you you've been pretty open on social media about your anxiety. You touched it on a little. How have you stepped into therapy and what do you think has helped you face living with anxiety?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think like radical honesty and acceptance with it has been huge. And that was a new one within this last summer, where I kind of had another big wave of like anxiety and depression and heartbreak and like a really challenging time in my life where I had to look at a lot of my anxieties that have shown up in relationships and in different parts of my life in a new light, like being really honest with myself about what's happening and not trying to, like you know, psychoanalyze like weird situational stuff, like really come to the root of things in therapy and also just being like so much more gracious with myself and all of it. I think at a younger age I had to be like incredibly hard on myself as like a way of survival because nobody else was really looking out for me and it kept me alive and I have a lot of respect for that. But there is a lot of like fear based reactions that are still really ingrained in me that I have to not fight. Like there's this kind of proverb about like anxieties being like these demons and you keep trying to like shoot them out of your house and fight you and all these things and you just have to sort of invite them in and go all right, you're here, you know, like that's fine, and to just sort of make space.
Speaker 2:And I think a lot of my anxiety over the years has shown up, with a lot of like clenching and resistance and fear and like get out, and there's something wrong with me. And it's like there's nothing wrong with me. There's something that's like my body's trying to tell me to keep me safe. Like how can I make this person feel safe right now? That like what is she asking for me? And it's all very visual for me. There's like, you know, like the version of me that's like very sad and like holding the door open and like hoping that I'm like doing something right and like all, and it's like, okay, she really just needs like a hug and like how can I give her the safety that she's craving and not feel so fearful of myself, you know.
Speaker 2:And so I think Tara Brock has been a big spiritual teacher for me over the last year of her whole thing is radical acceptance and to just like kind of investigate and go okay, this is okay, and it just sort of allows you to breathe a little bit easier and like make room for things.
Speaker 2:Because I think especially like and to kind of bring it back to the whole social media and the whole bit it's like toxic positivity is so prevalent and the second something negative starts to show up, like, even if I just feel a little bit tired, I'm like I turn into a toddler, I'm like something's wrong and I'm who am I mad at? And I'm like just need a nap, you know, and like the anxiety shows up and it's like, oh okay, I'm just feeling like a little bit fearful of rejection right now, or I'm just feeling a little nervous about this, like how can I investigate, come to the root of that and make space and like and offer surrendering and grace to it as really been, you know, because the more you clench and resist, it's like woo spooky.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not acceptance, that's like pushing away, and I think that we hear so much with mental health and this is really the idea I had with my own anxiety was like I have to fix this, yes, and I'm not like I have to learn to live with it, and like there's some positive, great positive things that have come out of my anxiety. I am so freaking productive when I want to be sure, and it's the I love what you said about you know, inviting them in because like, yeah, you can't, it's going to be a part of you. You can do all the things left right up and down, but like you're always going to remember what it was like. So I think the body have you read, the body keeps the score.
Speaker 2:Weirdly enough, that is one that I have not.
Speaker 1:I really like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a big one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'll you like, even if you aren't in the same like anxiety, attachment style or whatever. At the same time, like you'll still remember that, even if it's years later and you're different. And I think that if you invite it in instead of saying I'm going to fix that, we'll really start to like counteract that Totally.
Speaker 2:My anxiety is a control freak, yeah, and it's like I've just got to, I've got to solve this, I've got to fix it, and the body keeps score. This like investigating the wound that this coming to the root of it, is like, oh, I had to do that at a young age To feel safe, right, and I had to do that to make sure that I, like you know, achieved love from a parent or something like that. Like I had to, I had to be in control. And when I lose sight of that, all the alarms go off. Yeah, and, and there all I have to do is release and care for myself in those moments.
Speaker 2:But the idea of fixing it and like I can get in control of this and I can, I will know all of the information and I will steer this narrative in a way that keeps me safe, thank you, it is insanity and it is impossible. But try telling that to your anxious mind when you're like, hey, girl, just chill. And they're like, no, no, no, no, I'm on a mission, right, I'm going to solve this.
Speaker 1:It must be solved. Math equations flying. You speak about mental health, like really well, thank you. You're funny with it, but it seems very authentic and whatnot. How do you think you got so comfortable with it?
Speaker 2:in therapies and times like 16, I think, yeah, I don't know, I've never shied away from it. I guess is I've had a lot of really extreme experiences in my mental health and episodes. And I think now, coming into my 30s which feels like a crazy thing to say really honoring the spectrum that is all of it and inviting it in and not shying away from it, and going into the darkness with courage and I think, when you can go into it with like I'm going to bring the light. This isn't who I am Like, this is a piece of me that I'm experiencing right now. And what does this have to teach me?
Speaker 2:And I think anytime I've gone to the darkness, I've always come out of it on the other side going.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful I walked through that fire because I've evolved into this new version of me and I'm wearing this scar, this new badge of honor of like look at what I've overcome, and I think really too, this last year like recognizing and honoring the spectrum that like, yes, I feel these like depths that like come with suicidal thoughts and come with, like, the most fear I've ever felt and thinking that the world is going to end, but it also allows me to feel like these highs of joy that I don't know if everybody in the world gets to experience, and like this depth of love that I am so proud of myself for holding, even when I've felt the pain in the same place, you know.
Speaker 2:So I'm just. There's just been a lot of gratitude for all of it, which I think dissolves the shame and allows me to just be really open about it, which I hope, you know, maybe resonates with people in some ways to make them feel a little bit safe, like just that you're not alone and like you know the scaries, the scaries of it all, the real spooky scaries of it all, like you're so not alone in it. And and and encourage people to kind of like explore their mental health journey, because I think the fear and the resistance sometimes will block you away from it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love what you say about like the depth and the range. Yeah, you can feel, I think that makes you live a more, a full life, because you've experienced the whole range. And yeah, you don't know if everyone's going to feel those at the same, but like you did, yeah, and that's your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'm really grateful for it. I mean, there's moments where, like I'll go through a heartbreak or really challenging time where I'm like you've got to be fucking kidding me this again, like why did I do this to myself, you know? But like you come out on the other side and I'm so grateful that I felt all of it, you know, because it's so much better than just like staying in the middle and never having, never having taken the jump of it all.
Speaker 1:Time. Really. I think time is like the best gift when it comes to processing. Yeah, Huge untimely, Like it's going to suck now. Yeah, Because like whenever I've gone through something that's just like I'm like OK, time is really going to help. Yeah, Like I know that's like so cliche and I hate when people say it to you, but you're like it really. I'm like oh yeah, no, that was like the biggest culture to myself this year.
Speaker 2:I'm like I know it's going to get better, like I know, and in this moment it feels like this hour of pain is never going to end. And then, all of a sudden, you're on the other side and you're like, wow, that's just such a silly little blip on the radar. Look at me, I'm fine now. That's crazy. Literally a dot on the timeline. Yeah, yeah, so I'm, I'm, you know, I'm grateful for it all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, speaking of dots on the timeline in your journey, sure, we both moved from New Mexico to Los Angeles. Yeah, literally. I say this with a lot of love, yeah, but I say a JV town to an extremely NFL town. It's a big, big journey. Yeah, so you moved here at nine, 20. 20 years old yeah. You just packed up the suitcases and had a teller and it just, it all worked out Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I was perfect. It was literally perfect and nothing could have gone wrong. Yeah, I put like 36 Forever 21 crop tops into a little pink suitcase from Cornatoma. Yeah, yes, classic, we love it there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Actually it's a really good for a 21 to great yeah For 21.
Speaker 1:It's huge in there. It's huge to know it actually buys the stuff. That I think is actually really cute. Yeah, different tastes.
Speaker 2:Different tastes, different tastes. Yeah, I definitely just really went for it and it's one of those, those moments of gratitude for the maybe slightly dumber but really fearless version of myself who made a lot of mistakes. It is the list. Truly, I love an ignorant girl Truly, I think. I think it's so important for like anybody in their early 20s to just say fuck it, we ball and like move, do something crazy. Like I was thinking about this the other day where I'm like you know, I'm 31 now and like there was a part of me that just wanted to like go out and do something stupid and I'm like I can't really do that as much because I know too much I've seen behind the curtain.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know, but when I'm 20 years old, I don't know anything.
Speaker 1:No, and you know what? Now I'm like right on the cusp of that and I'm like sometimes I have to remind myself I'm like pretend, just pretend. You're that ignorant, yeah, but I actually know and I'm freaking out inside, but I'm just pretend.
Speaker 2:No, you've had plenty more weekends of this. And I, literally, this other day I was like God, I wish I did more stupid shit, you know what I mean, which was not always the case for a while. So, yeah, like I just kind of packed up my life and went for it and it was like a lot of. I lived in San Francisco. For a minute I was living above and after. I was nightclub, the dream Just like I was living off of like muscle milk and pizza slices. I had no money. I had like nothing to my name but like a bad coach wallet, I'm sure, and yes, you know like, but none of it mattered. I just I was so like, yeah, like I'll do that. I'll sleep on a couch for a week, I'll stay in the shared one bedroom apartment, like I'm going to get a job and I'm going to figure it out. I had no financial support from anybody and I just, I just kind of went for it and it was really scary and it took me a long time to come out of survival mode. Like I was really recognizing really just the other day with my therapist Shout out Megan, love her so much.
Speaker 2:How much of my early 20s was just like white knuckling, like OK, I have to make enough money to make this and I have to do this. Like constantly putting through the logistics of like how to stay alive and really getting like a bit of brevity in my like mid 20s and tapering off and like getting to make decisions out of like what I want to do with my life, not just like how am I going to stay alive. But I'm, I'm, I'm grateful, I wouldn't trade it for the world, like it was crazy and I I cannot believe it all worked. Like I can't believe I'm alive. Sometimes I'm like I made it. How did I die? I could die out there, but I I'm, it was.
Speaker 2:It was a whirlwind. Yeah, because, like you said, albuquerque is like nutty small town vibes. Yeah, and I have. I have such a deep love for the desert magic and I wish my blood was just green chili, like I am. I am a desert lizard at heart and I always will be. But I'm so glad that I I started a new journey and at a time where I could be pretty, I was just kind of gooey and rubbery and like whatever you know, we're just going to go for it. I'm not going to like think about it too much, and it was. It was Cuckoo Nanners.
Speaker 1:Did the scene of LA I put in air quotes ever intimidate you or shock you, or how did you manage that? Because I feel like a lot of people who listen to this podcast were thinking about moving to LA or moved here, and they're so absorbed by you. Know, everyone has 100K followers and everyone's an influencer, everyone's an actor, everyone's gorgeous, everyone's skinny. How did you handle all that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was interesting. I think I got kind of thrown into it right when I first moved here. This girl I kind of moved here with was like you know, industry, adjacent life and we're going to parties and I just I didn't know anything Ignorance is blessed I didn't know that like the clubs we were at or like the people we were around, like I didn't really get any of it and I kind of started dating this guy and it was sort of in the world, that was a whole, that's a whole nother tangent. And it's like when I left it that it affected me the most, because I like saw from the outside and at the time when I was really young, because it didn't work out for me or like I didn't like stay in it, I viewed it as some sort of like failure of myself, that like I wasn't like popping enough for it. You know like which sounds so stupid because it's not real Like yeah, like the club promoters are not your friends and the models are only nice to you.
Speaker 1:They do not care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, and it's like, but you, it's like this, like weird, like craving of validation. Yes, like, please think I'm enough.
Speaker 1:Everybody who moves here thinks they're special and they want every the world to think they're also special. Yeah, and like we're all human, like we all love that, you know, hit me with that follow, see that count go up. Like we're human, we see it and it does something to us. Yeah, but like that's the insecurity Everybody moves to your NLA because everybody thinks they're going to be someone or be the it girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, and that was like the biggest lesson that I learned. It's so vividly like being so fixated on like well, I have to talk about it, I have to like achieve it. Like I really thought, like dating this guy and being in this world and like and like if I reached enough followers and like and I'm explaining this to my friend and he just kind of looks at me goes Paisley, there's no it. Yeah, and I was like what?
Speaker 2:And it was like this whole like moment of like, oh my God, like I've just constructed this idea of like a life I'm supposed to live in, a person I'm supposed to be and I don't know what it really means, and nowhere in that is like a version of my most authentic self, nowhere in that is like genuine connection and community. It was just like, you know, just just be the face of it, like be famous enough, be like worthy enough of, like some guy with money or like what, like it was all so stupid, but like you get a glimpse of it and like I remember the guy I dated, his friends like making fun of me that my shoes were like from Aldo and like not designer, and I was like I literally can't afford that. That's crazy that you would do that Like I'm 20 years old, but like I didn't, I don't know. It was just all. So it's also heartless now when I look back on it, like there's no love in that world.
Speaker 1:I remember the time some big time agent assistant but he was an agent Sure and he told me that the only girls in LA that were attractive had the fake boob look. And I was like I think I'm out here, I don't, I can't wrap my head around.
Speaker 2:No, and what's crazy, it's like it's just his lens and people that start to find themselves in some sort of position of power, whatever world they're in.
Speaker 2:They think that they're so right.
Speaker 2:And I think, specifically for young women, we become such victims of that Like you're a table accessory, You're whatever is like valid enough to them and if you don't fit that mold, you have to like suffer the insecurity of it all and it's just not fun.
Speaker 2:All of that to say I'm grateful I'm not in that world and it breaks my heart to see women that got stuck in it and kind of lack of a better term chewed up and spit out by it because it is vicious and it is cyclical and it will churn you out and because women are just purely objects in it and you get sucked into it and you think that that's the existence and you place your whole self worth in it. And it's like I'm I've gone through different iterations of it over the years and there's the moments of insecurity I see of myself and my younger twenties, of like looking at the girls on Instagram that have all the followers and are so beautiful and like wanting to be like them and and being where I'm at now and looking back at them and going, oh, thank God, I didn't do all that, because that doesn't sound fun. No, and like, where where's the love in all of it?
Speaker 1:Well, what did you have to give up to be there? Yeah, like, if you now maybe not at like 21, told me like I had the choice of doing that, or like hanging out with my parents, like, yeah, it's just you start to notice what you're giving up to be in those positions and it's totally. But at the same time, like I feel like, yeah, like everyone kind of goes through it here, yeah, it's part of the training.
Speaker 2:I really think there's like this weird energy that you like move to LA with where you like. They know you're green and you're just sort of glowing and like you're just going to get swept up in some crazy stuff. It's their favorite, yeah, that they're just like. Oh good, she's naive, grab her, you know where you're like whatever it's like it's pterodactyl literally comes down and snatches them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, they see right through it. Yeah, I remember the first week I was here I was still planning on living in San Francisco and the people that I was with. I got invited to Paris Hilton's Fourth of July party. I would have passed away Greatest moment of my life.
Speaker 2:I was like, well, I'm an Albuquerque girl, don't know anything yet how anything works, and in my head you know, when you got an Albuquerque, you pregrain. So I'm like we're going to stop at this gas station and meet with everyone before I'm going to get a four loco. I knew you were going to say a four loco. I shit you. Not, I get a four loco Again, don't know anything. Get to the party. I'm like, well, we just go in. And the people that I'm with are like, no, we're not on the list, but like we're going to get it. You're a cute girl, just go talk to them, you can get it.
Speaker 2:I'm like what do you mean? Like none of this occurred to me. I'm coming from just trying to get to the front of line at Monivista and Albuquerque with my fake ID. So I'm like, ok, and so I'm just going to talk to them. And I'm like, blah, blah, blah, like I'm here and they're like it's just you.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, yeah, and they're like, ok, and I walk in with this party with my four loco and I very quickly look around and go, oh no, like I look crazy with this, and I go and sit on this like large, like white leather, like Ottoman, like on the beach in Malibu, and I just sort of like slide this four loco down by the side and was like OK, here we go. You know, but that whole party was just like this little green energy where I'm just parting having the best time and the vultures are swooping in and this is so embarrassing. But I just think it's like the funniest thing I've ever done. I had befriended this girl on the beach. She's from Texas, so we're like talking about you know whatever.
Speaker 2:Southwest girl. We're all drunk and before the fireworks show starts in Malibu, she's inside with, like her boyfriend and she just sit me with this blue liquid in his cups and she's like, do you want some? And I was like, yeah, I take a sip of God knows what. And we all go out on the beach and I'm just yelling during the fireworks show oh my God, oh my God, this is a mate Like I'm losing my mind. And the girl I'm with finally goes like what? Like, what are you on? Like what, what's your deal? And I was, I've never seen fireworks before. And she goes you've never seen fireworks before. And then I kind of like snap out of it and I go well, not like this, I had a gun. The Luffy Insta Park looks a lot different.
Speaker 1:The Luffy Insta.
Speaker 2:Park's a bit of a different vibe than Malibu Beach. Like I'm just, I'm just high as hell and the guy that I started dating shortly after was there. Apparently. I was like grabbing his butt on the beach. Zero recollection of this experience, no idea whatsoever that this happened, but like it was just one of those moments now that, like you know, like the next morning I'm kind of anxiety. Like a year later I'm like God, I can't believe I did that and now I'm like I wish I would have done more dumb shit. That was so funny. Like you go, paze, it was just, I'm just screaming on the beach and people are noticing, you know, whatever, whatever it was, I had a great time.
Speaker 1:And you own your own friend now and you're just fine, and I'm just look turned out, I'm all right. I turned out okay, it's just fine, yeah, I'm okay.
Speaker 2:So yeah, it's a good time You're such a good storyteller, thank you.
Speaker 1:And you were also a hold on storyteller. It's really good. You're a really good storyteller, thank you. And you are also like a TikTok, like one shot, one minute, like you record these crazy stories, like you literally just told us in one take, like how have you just like been able to post on TikTok, grow on TikTok and what's your advice for getting into TikTok?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think this is the most fuck it we ball platform. I'm sorry I keep saying that it's like. I love the anonymity of TikTok, especially in the beginning, like I was on it, you know, pre COVID. Where I'm like this is like this is. This is Vine part two for me, which was a hyper fixation of mine when I moved to LA.
Speaker 1:You don't strike me as a vine girlie, oh my God, I loved Vine.
Speaker 2:I would like corner people at parties and be like, have you seen this vine? And they were like dear God, she's doing it again. Like make her stop. We loved Vine, so this felt like Vine part two and I just loved. Like Instagram was like oh, all the people I went to high school with or following, and blah, blah, blah. Like I just threw it out into the ether and didn't think about it and so I think that was really fun.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's this like veil of perfectionism with with TikTok. I'm not trying to edit anything and you know there's a side of TikTok Like I definitely don't get, like I can't do it. Get ready with me, I'm too old for that and I don't know how to make transitions and I but I but I enjoy making content, I enjoy doing bits, I like telling stories and I I like being funny. It's like a fun thing for me to do and I like that about myself, and so it's just kind of like a. It's just kind of like a throw it out there and see what sticks, kind of thing. And there's certain ones where like I can feel it come and I was like this is going to hit, like this is going to be great.
Speaker 2:And if I start to record one and I have to keep doing it over and over again, I'm like okay, just let it go. It doesn't feel fun for me anymore. But yeah, I think the advice on TikTok is to just do whatever is the most authentic to you. I think on any social media when you try to like fit a formula, it's not going to work because it's just not who you are, you know, just do what feels right to you, and that's kind of what I think has always resonated the most, at least in my case.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Paisley, looking back on this journey moving from New Mexico to LA, being this funny girl, being on social, being a business owner and, honestly, just such a delight. What would be your advice to women who you know want to make a change in their life and start their own?
Speaker 2:business.
Speaker 2:You don't have to have it all figured out. There is no rules. That is my biggest thing. There are no rules to any of this, and you know to pursue what makes you feel good.
Speaker 2:Like I think, as women were taught to like, tone down our intuition, and tone down like what our body tells us. Or that your intuition is wrong, yeah, or that your intuition is wrong. Like my anxieties are constantly lying to me. Like don't listen to that little goobler. Like really connect with your body, and like I had to get off birth control because I felt disconnected to my body. Like you will know in your soul what feels right to you. And like to keep following that thread and to not worry about what sort of like world perspective surrounds that. Like to think like, oh well, how will this be perceived through some lens? Because you're just never going to be able to calculate all of it, and so I just think pursuing things that make you feel really good and not being fearful about doing it wrong sometimes, like you don't have to get it right.
Speaker 2:I think women are like taught to be perfectionist and like sort of this idea of like being it too is like we have to do it all Like I have to look beautiful and I have to be toned and I have to do this, and like I, definitely my anxiety gets caught in like the rhythm of perfectionism and like I have to be all of these things in order to be worthy and like it's okay for things to just sort of be ordinary sometimes or to not be at their best, or to have a day where you're at 20% and to not feel shame about that and to not think that you're not deserving of, you know, success or love or reward because of that.
Speaker 2:Like we are broad spectrums of little, like amazing creatures that are like capable of so much. Like my body can bring another life into this world. And you're going to tell me that like I can't try to make this business, like I can do anything yeah, I can literally do anything I want, you know. So I think fearlessness and self love and you know self, self acceptance and respect for your authenticity is so important to like honor.
Speaker 1:Peezy, thank you so much for taking the time to be at the party.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it here. Oh God, I'm so glad, so fun. Well, you have to tell everybody where they can find you and Peezy, thank you so much for taking the time to be at the party. Peach honey is just at Peach honey. Peechunny on Instagram and our website is peachhoneyco.
Speaker 1:PeeChunny on Twitter Peach honeycom.