Behind the Filter: Social Media is So Fake we Thinks is Normal

This episode is a journey through the shiny, yet deceptive world of social media. Listen as I dissect social media and the complex juxtaposition of influencer marketing. Social media content is often a far cry from reality and is very much produced media. Let this act as your reminder: social media is not real life.

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Transcript

Behind the Curtain

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome back to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl , the podcast helping you filter out the BS in pursuits of becoming your own it girl , or the very next it girl . And let's dive in Wannabe it Girls . Today , about the founding topic of this podcast social media , we are going to talk about going behind the filter , which is just the tip of the iceberg these days of social media , and how it is so fake . At this point , we think it's fucking normal . Welcome to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl . I'm your host , marley Fregging , and I'm here to help you filter out all the bullshit and become the next it Girl .

Speaker 1 0:40

This podcast explores the reality of what it really takes to make it out there . As it turns out , it is way less Instagrammable than I thought it was going to be . I'm still very much a work in progress , but there's simply nothing else I'd rather be doing than chasing my dreams . So let's learn from my mistakes and work together to achieve our dreams with more confidence , clarity and direction . Let's get after it . Clarity and direction , let's get after it . I mean , this is hardly a new concept of saying that social media is so fake . I just think that our retention for it has so much more in Was retention the right word Tomato . Tomato of it has just so increased . We are like Pavlovian to it at this point . We've been exposed to it so much . We're just so increased . We are like Pavlovian to it at this point . We've been exposed to it so much , we're just so used to this innate concept of social media . Social media fakeness , trending , authentic , filtered , edited . At this point , it's not jarring and not new . It's just such a part of life that I felt like we need to dive into what's behind it one more time . Not one more time , who knows . I could talk about this till I'm dead , but let's talk about the ever green topic of beauty trends on social media .

Speaker 1 1:57

I saw this great TikTok a while back from Ella Helanquez and she was talking about how you should never make your body a trend because trends change , and she was talking about , in relationship to plastic surgery , like the BBL was really in about a year ago . Do you even know what that is ? Big Brazilian butt lift ? Oh , I thought big , something less . No , brazilian butt lift was like really in a few years ago because , you know , kim Kardashian had that big ass and then everybody wanted the big ass . So you know , people would get Brazilian butt lifts and you know . So the big asses aren't in anymore . I mean they're not , not in . They're not the top trend . Right now . The top trend is definitely the Ozempic body , like we're back to heroin chic and being super skinny and like whatnot to heroin chic and being super skinny and whatnot .

Speaker 1 2:44

Point being it ebbs and flows . Not saying that these things aren't attractive , but why on earth would you make some permanent changes or things that are on your body a trend ? Fashion is a whole other problem that I'm not willing to get into . But we can throw away , change in clothing , outgrow things , upgrade our style , but like your body isn't something we should feel like we can trade in and go get a new one every day . I mean plastic surgery , not against it , actually kind of pro plastic surgery awareness here , in fact but these are big life altering decisions and it's not something that we should make be a trend that can flow in and out with the times .

Speaker 1 3:30

Like the weirdest thing to me with beauty trends on social media is for a second , there I found myself I would say this is right after I graduated college nice and secure time to tap into , I was like I didn't feel like I was maybe pretty enough to live in LA and at the time maybe still somewhere in the world . The duck lips was like in and I was like , in order to feel pretty , I have to look like I have lip filler . That is not a real look . To look like you have lip filler , it is such a bad A it's a bad idea and B I could rabbit hole here but point being is like there is beauty trends we see on social media and we think we need to have them . A I think the biggest one that people can really tap into is , you know , having a certain body , having a certain body type , having a certain weight and certain look and all these things . And you know , you can start to feel really insecure if you don't have the things that you've seen on Instagram . And I will never forget the moment that I saw someone's I want to say it was a TikTok and I was like , oh my God , I could so recreate that video , like I am just as beautiful and as gorgeous and as together as that person . Let me make a very similar TikTok . Hers has , like you know , half a million views . Mine will obviously have a lot of views and it hits 200 . Nothing makes you feel more insecure than fucking that .

Speaker 1 5:05

Comparing yourself A to the online world in the comfort of your own bedroom and your mirror , but then putting yourself online comparing yourselves externally , can really do something . Needless to say , social media we don't know how it's curated , how it's created , what's going on for that person in the actual filming or photo taking process in our lives , which I'm going to break up like an odd topic that I feel like is I hope people know about , is delayed posting . People post sometimes like hours later , days later , weeks later . I don't think this is like a new concept but , like I'm just saying , like the delayedness of posting really allows for a lot of curation to happen in that span of time that you've delayed . I mean , we're talking about editing picture , fakeness , testing it on the feed , showing a friend or two .

Speaker 1 6:19

So delayed posting , while for creators and you know just anybody on social media at all , you know , might give a little bit more time to go over if they like it , it also gives a lot more time to change and remove the realness of that photo . That photo , that moment , that vibe can kind of like go away and even though it may appear to you watching somebody's Coachella vlog ? They still have like a whole day to edit it . Yes , they are still at Coachella , maybe , but it just the curation really happens in the delayed posting and that instant thing of social media I would say has gone down so much more and has become so much more of a let me go home , plan it out , pace it out , figure out how I'm going to lay it out . So the instant , authentic in air quotes momentum has definitely decreased and I will say people definitely do delayed posting for a lot of reasons .

Speaker 1 7:25

You know , people have full-blown content days where all they do is take pictures of outfits or make TikTok reels . You know , it's not all so like on the fly and in the moment , but also a huge reason I don't know if people know this that , like celebrities post super delayed content and specifically stories for safety reasons , because you can easily figure out where a person is by their posts . This is a niche reference . So go with me . A few years ago I want to say it was Shia LaBeouf did something , I don't remember what , and they were trying to figure out the location or something of this and a flag was flying in the background of his photo or something and just because of that flag in the background of his photo , they could figure out the longitudes and latitudes and exact location . There are smart people out there in the world and so whatever you're posting on the internet can be somewhat traceable . I mean , I have looked at people I maybe don't exactly know's Instagram and seen a location I recognize in the background and then maybe I know where they live .

Speaker 1 8:41

There's a safety element of delaying your posts that go in . I mean , I think about this one celebrity who's maybe one of the biggest it girls of the moment . She posted a story at a very trendy workout place and I literally could . I've been to multiple locations of this workout place and I could tell which location it was and I was like for my sake , because I would have fangirled and freaked out , but also for her sake . I hope this is super delayed , which I'm sure it was . I'm just saying again , this is why this shit is fake . It is not real , but we at this point think that is fucking normal . But was it ever normal to take a photo and tell people where you were ? Also , I'd like to point out a safety factor here . Someone brought up to me not posting photos or content exposing the outside of my apartment building , even because then people can maybe figure out where you live . Just a side safety note here .

Speaker 1 9:47

That being said , though , authenticity why did that become the biggest buzzword of social media ? And I've heard it a lot when people say , like , well , like , you want to have a social media following . Like , just be authentic . Hey , what the fuck does that mean ? And be like social media , no matter how fucking authentic you try to be , it's not an authentic media . I just I don't really believe there's an authentic medium in the world . Like , I just don't . Like . I believe everything is produced , everything is edited and everything is curated , yet we're told to go look inside and figure out what's authentic and post that online if you're trying to build a following . Yet I'll be completely honest that when I get on social media , I'm not following people because I think they're so fucking authentic . I'm following them because they have a cool life and I want to see what it looks like and maybe there's an insecurity there , not because I'm like they're so authentic . I'm going to give them the follow . What ? No , that is absolute bullshit . And again , I refuse to believe even the most authentic of authentic videos are not curated in some form

Impact of Social Media Marketing

Speaker 1 11:03

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Speaker 1 11:03

You remember when became a trend of I'm not against people showing emotions the trailer for this podcast has a clip of me crying but suddenly it was like very trendy to be crying on your social media platform and like . People were like , wow , that's so vulnerable and I agree , on some level let's have some space for vulnerability . But I think it just stood out to us and then we were like , wow , so clickbaity of us , I'm going to go follow and like this person now because they were vulnerable . And then other people started doing it and it totally lost its authenticity . Once again Saying that this is not a shocker to anyone but marketing is now just social media for the most part .

Speaker 1 11:51

When we were children , it was ads and commercials and not that those things don't exist , but I think it works too well in marketing agencies' hands that social media preys on our insecurities and we think , to fill these voids of our insecurities , that the thing that could change them , because we're so primed from great marketing , is to buy more things to have more things , more things to have more things , and the follower count . The likes and insecurity of social media just played right into marketing genius's hands and now I feel like the biggest marketing point is having a social media presence , having the right influencers working on your campaigns , in your campaigns , to help field the person viewing attention , reach their insecurities and then end up making a purchase . And I think it's happening in the beauty space , the body space , clothing and , of course , my favorite one kind of like the wealth space . I think that marketing and luxury goods really have a big pivot back into the world of social media and they did it in the most smart way because you don't realize it's happening . And they do have now some traditional influencer marketing . But it was just like oh , by chance , on top of it , these people have these luxury things by chance . I'm not going to push it on you , but you're going to notice it in the background that I have luxury goods and maybe that was the luxury goods marketing strategy all along was just like oh and comma and I have a blank , blank bag . I don't know how they did it . Point being , it's such a marketing tool . Now it's again not real , it is fake . It's so crazy .

Speaker 1 13:54

The potentially biggest influencer at the moment . She was telling a really fucking interesting story on her TikTok channel . I was sucked into this story . And yet I didn't realize that , as she was telling this super fucking interesting story that she was testing out new lipsticks , it was so casual , it was so underwhelming and I was like , damn , she's really good at making fucking ads . And then I had to look at the bottom to realize that the products had been tagged in . I was like , wow , innately , subconsciously , she made it super casual , easy , probably for herself to make that video . And then me as a viewer , so casually , was like , wow , she's trying out new lip products . It was clearly a one take video . She was just telling a story and putting on lipstick and it was excellently done .

Speaker 1 14:52

But not all ads are as clean as that . Even though that was like a super clean ad , I still wonder if someone had to review that ad , give approval , pass it on again , making it a produced medium , which swings me more into the editing realm . God , I mean the things you can do on a phone . To edit things now in various apps , within the apps of Instagram and TikTok now , is so impressive . And then , let alone having a full-blown , just like we do for this podcast video editor to help you create any kind of content .

Speaker 1 15:34

It's a normal part of the job at this point , like so many big influencers , medium influencers and even small influencers at this point , outsource content creation , content editing , and it's so normal that we like forget that that wasn't originally the original purpose of having social media . It was very like on the fly and just to have it just really dives into the curation again and the brain power , like I think about again bigger accounts and particularly celebrity accounts , who didn't come into social media because of social media . They are having to use social media because of their profession , the teams that sit behind this person and pitch ideas of what TikToks and social media clips or stories or photos to take , like it's just , like not measurable , to Sally in her bedroom with just like her iPhone , like they're just it's comparing apples , like a full . No , not comparing apples , it's a full blown set experience with editors , writers , producers and then just one person . And I do think that's why , when one person with like one iPhone has a great idea and makes hilarious content , we flock to it , naturally or subconsciously , because we're like , damn , this one person had this great idea . But inevitably these people start to blow up , I hate to say it , start to become unrelatable because now their life looks so different and trying to hold onto that relatability is a real skill and a real talent and some good therapy and some good groundingness , I think and there's not a lot of people in the space honestly I think , even me included that can do it that great .

Speaker 1 17:31

It's a tricky thing , but again it goes back to the curation of things . It's just so much time , energy , money and editing goes into social media channels . Now Look at what's going on in the TV and film industry right now . There's less and less shows being made . There was a huge boom , and now what's going on in the TV and film industry right now ? There's less and less shows being made . There was a huge boom and now there's just so much more push for people to be on their phones . I've heard people recently say I just can't wait to go home and just get 20 minutes of scroll time to just dump the brain . And for me that used to be to go home and watch TV , but now I would watch two to three hours of TV a night . Now I'm maybe watching 30 minutes because I've spent an hour to two hours on my phone Just saying where are the eyeballs ? Again , it's becoming a curated , produced media to the next level .

Speaker 1 18:26

And while we're staying on the negative fucking side , I want to talk about something that I've touched on a little bit before here . Why are people so fucking bold in the comment section the negative comments given there are plenty of nice comments out there too , the people just really like . Why do you want to share your negative comments ? Maybe it makes you feel better ? I don't get it .

Speaker 1 18:49

But , like I have seen on my YouTube channel , on other people's channels , on other people's TikToks just like the most negative , unnecessary statements , and I'm just like God , this is just not that deep . It's not that deep that people are posting this shit and people are into it . But then it's also like it's not that deep . It's not deep enough to leave a negative comment about it , like we're just out here for entertainment . A little bit it bugs me and I'll be honest , when I get one negative comment on YouTube , it does hurt my feelings a little bit . It doesn't send me through a desperate spiral and I can only imagine what people on the rise go through , because I do think once you hit risen you become a little callous to it , but on the rise it is probably a hard fucking spell to go to and it's just like , again , not that deep .

Speaker 1 19:45

So I just want to leave by saying we have so passed the point of social media not being a thing . I think it's people's business cards . All the time when I meet new people I don't want to ask for their phone number because I think it's weird and creepy and there's the intonation of you're being hit on or whatnot . But I'll ask them for their Instagram . I'm like , yeah , let's connect . What's your Instagram ? We are so past the point of Instagram and social media and TikTok not being a thing . But let's maybe stop it from what you think about yourself and your self-esteem , at least some of the time .

Speaker 1 20:24

I understand how people put work into these metrics . It's their jobs , and so people have like identifying factors to being on social media . It's a form of expression , creative expression , if you will but we just can't put our full self-worth into social media . I think a lot of people know this . I'm about it Like dive in on the social media , but don't forget to just kind of give yourself a little tap on the screen and close out that this is just like not that real and not that neat . That being said , guys , thank you so much for listening to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl with our very grassroots topic again talking about the bullshit in the world out there as we filter through it , and I hope to see you guys next Tuesday . Thank you so much for listening to Confessions of a Wannabe it Girl . Don't forget to rate and subscribe to the show . As always , we'll see you next Tuesday .