Ask Kati Anything!

ep #5 - I think I have Bipolar Disorder... Ask Kati Anything!

April 08, 2020 Kati Morton Season 1 Episode 5
Ask Kati Anything!
ep #5 - I think I have Bipolar Disorder... Ask Kati Anything!
Chapters
Ask Kati Anything!
ep #5 - I think I have Bipolar Disorder... Ask Kati Anything!
Apr 08, 2020 Season 1 Episode 5
Kati Morton

Audience Questions:

  1. Is it common to go backward at the beginning of therapy? I've found that when I first begin therapy, after being away for a while, I always feel worse for a few weeks before getting better.
  2. Hey Kati, I recently realized that I was parentified when I was a child and may have also been emotionally abused. My therapist suggests that I try to forgive my parents to ease some of the resentment I hold, but I don’t know if I’m ready to do that or will ever be ready. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?
  3. How can I prepare for online therapy sessions via skype? I feel very nervous about it... 
  4. How can we know if we had depression in the past? I know I'm not supposed to self-diagnose but I am fairly sure about it.
  5. During this pandemic, how can we cope with having all appointments canceled? It's been really difficult to suddenly have no support while I'm struggling the most with my ED and mood
  6. Hi Kati, Do you have any tips for dealing with your own failed suicide attempt? (Thanks for your videos they really help and have literally saved my life)
  7. I think I have a Bipolar. I've researched a lot about it and most of the things says in the importation is exactly what is happening to me. I started thinking that I might have one cause I saw this Show where this character have a Bipolar, and I was so confused that I experienced what the character has going through in the show. It all started when my Grandfather and Auntie died a year after year. I was so confused, until now. And I told my parents about this but they didn't believed me, they said I'm just so lazy and I don't have a dream that's why I'm like this. But, my question is : Is it possible that I'm making all these Mental Disorder just to escape from things? Or be just like lazy at the time?
  8. Should I tell my therapist about my suicide ideation that come again even though I survived from it?
  9. On an ethical/moral level Do you believe that in some cases suicide is okay? Or is it always evil
  10. Some tips for insomniacs and how to improve sleep? When to go to the doctor about it?
  11. How to balance reintegration from a burn out with the stress from COVID-19 (especially when this brings extra pressure in your daily job). I feel like these are exceptional times where we need to step up and work together and I really want to do my part. But also, I feel that my recovery takes a hit.

Watch this episode on YouTube HERE

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!

JOURNALING CLUB
Every Tuesday & Friday I post a journal prompt to help keep you motivated and working on yourself! https://www.youtube.com/katimorton/join

MY BOOK
Are u ok?
http://bit.ly/2s0mULy

My Amazon Suggestions
https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton

ONLINE THERAPY
I do not currently offer online therapy.  BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor. Please visit: MORE INFO     
I receive commissions on referrals to BetterHelp. I only recommend services I know and trust.

PATREON
Do you want to help me support the creation of mental health videos? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

BUSINESS EMAIL [email protected]

MAIL
PO Box #665 1223 Wilshire Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90403

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton)

Show Notes Transcript

Audience Questions:

  1. Is it common to go backward at the beginning of therapy? I've found that when I first begin therapy, after being away for a while, I always feel worse for a few weeks before getting better.
  2. Hey Kati, I recently realized that I was parentified when I was a child and may have also been emotionally abused. My therapist suggests that I try to forgive my parents to ease some of the resentment I hold, but I don’t know if I’m ready to do that or will ever be ready. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?
  3. How can I prepare for online therapy sessions via skype? I feel very nervous about it... 
  4. How can we know if we had depression in the past? I know I'm not supposed to self-diagnose but I am fairly sure about it.
  5. During this pandemic, how can we cope with having all appointments canceled? It's been really difficult to suddenly have no support while I'm struggling the most with my ED and mood
  6. Hi Kati, Do you have any tips for dealing with your own failed suicide attempt? (Thanks for your videos they really help and have literally saved my life)
  7. I think I have a Bipolar. I've researched a lot about it and most of the things says in the importation is exactly what is happening to me. I started thinking that I might have one cause I saw this Show where this character have a Bipolar, and I was so confused that I experienced what the character has going through in the show. It all started when my Grandfather and Auntie died a year after year. I was so confused, until now. And I told my parents about this but they didn't believed me, they said I'm just so lazy and I don't have a dream that's why I'm like this. But, my question is : Is it possible that I'm making all these Mental Disorder just to escape from things? Or be just like lazy at the time?
  8. Should I tell my therapist about my suicide ideation that come again even though I survived from it?
  9. On an ethical/moral level Do you believe that in some cases suicide is okay? Or is it always evil
  10. Some tips for insomniacs and how to improve sleep? When to go to the doctor about it?
  11. How to balance reintegration from a burn out with the stress from COVID-19 (especially when this brings extra pressure in your daily job). I feel like these are exceptional times where we need to step up and work together and I really want to do my part. But also, I feel that my recovery takes a hit.

Watch this episode on YouTube HERE

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!

JOURNALING CLUB
Every Tuesday & Friday I post a journal prompt to help keep you motivated and working on yourself! https://www.youtube.com/katimorton/join

MY BOOK
Are u ok?
http://bit.ly/2s0mULy

My Amazon Suggestions
https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton

ONLINE THERAPY
I do not currently offer online therapy.  BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor. Please visit: MORE INFO     
I receive commissions on referrals to BetterHelp. I only recommend services I know and trust.

PATREON
Do you want to help me support the creation of mental health videos? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

BUSINESS EMAIL [email protected]

MAIL
PO Box #665 1223 Wilshire Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90403

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton)

speaker 0:   0:00
ask her break ups Suck or why you hit a plateau. Inquire off questions you boys want Katie anything? Hey, everybody. I'm still in my house and we're still doing this thing called Ask Katie anything. And I pulled your questions of any of your wondering where I pull the questions from. I pulled them from my ah YouTube community tab and, ah, so there were lots of them and I tried to pick the ones I had the most thumbs ups, and I will ask you again, probably next week, first new round of questions. So if your questions don't get answered, it doesn't mean it's not important. It just means I didn't get to it. So you can ask it again. Okay, Um, and I kind of wanted to start today's podcast off, so I'm trying to figure out where I want my microphone microphone. Um, e think I'll scoot over this way a bit. It makes me feel better. Um, I kind of just wanted to talk. I've been debating whether I just do like a rant video on my Katie Morton channel about this because it's been a It's been a shitty few weeks here and I know a lot of you are feeling that. And I really just want to, like, reach out and be like, Hey, I feel bad too. Um, and it's been hard and only it was only last night. So you guys, I haven't left my house since the 16th of March, and so that makes it What day is today? Today's the ninth of April. Um, so it's like we're coming up on at least. Is that three weeks and four days or something like that? Um, sorry. It's gonna bother me. Someone have to trick. So it's 123 weeks in two days or three days. Um, and it was only last night that I really finally started to calm down. I still had anxious dreams. Don't think this is perfect, but I finally felt this sounds strange, but I felt tired and like, relaxed at night, which hasn't happened in three weeks in three days or whatever we decided that was, um so I want you to know that you're not alone and that, like how you're feeling, isn't weird. There's nothing wrong with you. And if you already had a mental illness, that makes it even worse because you it's like you normally were dealing with. You know, this amount of shit and we pile on another layer called, you know, covert 19 and just makes things that much more difficult. And so I really just wanted Thio tell you how I'm doing, so that you know that if you're not doing well, either, it's okay, we'll get through this. And I think for me, a lot of it has been, um, thought stopping techniques distraction. Um, also, like, I like to do, like, take action where I can, and a lot of that is like helping you. And so, to that end, I'm working on videos that I hope will be helpful. Like dealing with isolation. Ah, Beginner's Guide to Meditation. Um, the Michael Scott Psycho analysis. And then, um and then maybe just a video about me talking about where amount and stuff like that, but yeah, and also before I get into your questions, I also wanted to address I've been getting a ton of messages about two things. Number one about Tricia paid us is D I. D video and the other about Eugene, you, cooney and people worrying that she's like relapsing and people are like you need to do a video about this were wrong. Um, if you consider my videos, if you've gone back and any collaborations I've done, I collaborated people and give them an opportunity to share their story from their perspective, because it's there's not mine to share. And therefore I don't weigh in on people's mental health issues or mental illnesses or whatever we think is going on. That's there's that's not mine as a therapist actually think it's really ethically questionable. I've seen a lot of people doing it where they as clinicians, uh, you know, weigh in on situations that they're not involved in. Those aren't their patients, they don't know anything about them. And I really have, ah, a huge ethical dilemma with that because I feel like you're judging someone based on a video they've created or photos you've seen. They're not your patient and you're putting your thoughts out into the world about it, and I think that's a really icky, hurtful place to be in, like I don't want to comment on anyone else the situation, because they're not. It's only their story to tell. That's really period. That's all I have to say. But I know a lot of you are upset, especially about the Trish pages. Things you're like, Hey, she's putting out misinformation and stuff like that. We can each just stay in our lane. We don't need a bully one another. We don't need to be mad or shout. We can educate. What is disassociative identity disorder? I have a whole video about it. I have videos about dissociation, maladaptive, daydreaming. I believe that association gonna lives on a spectrum. Um, yeah, so we all we can do is just do our part to educate. And yeah, there's always gonna be people out there in the world who want to talk about something in her incorrect manner or they want to share their story and they haven't been diagnosed by a professional, and that's theirs to do that doesn't mean that we have to be, like, angry with them or I want to, you know, bully them online. We can just do our part to put positive, helpful, correct information out there. And I don't believe is a clinician. It's my responsibility. I mean, I know it's not my responsibility, but I also don't wanna comment on someone else's stuff. That's their stuff. And if they want to share a story, that's cool, Um, doesn't mean they're correcting 100% accurate and doing the best they can. We don't know. No, I don't know. Okay, so I want to talk about that because I've been I see messages and I'm like, I don't wanna have to keep telling people like, Hey, I don't comment on other people's mental illnesses. So if you see a comment out there, do me a favor and to say, Hey, Katie talked about this on your podcast and she's She just said that she doesn't comment on people's mental health issues. I teach about mental health. Mental illness is how they're treated, how they can feel. And so maybe just share my D i. D video. If you feel that it's correct and sufficient, share it, and I'm happy to do another one. If you want that, that's what I can do. That's my contribution to this crazy online world. Um, okay, so enough about that. Enough about me. Enough about any of this bullshit that's happening online because, frankly, there's two other bigger things that are happening. Um Yeah, but let's get into your questions because you've been patiently waiting. Now I have. We'll see how many we get through. I pulled 11 questions. There's more if I need you. If we If I get through these and we like fume, then you know I'll keep going. Um, but anyway, I hope you all are staying home and staying safe. Don't go out if you don't have to. A lot of people have to go out like all of our first responders are. Health care workers are grocery store. Ah, from the supply chain of people bringing the food to the people in the stores. Um, they don't have the opportunity. Ah, who else would be out there? Pharmacists, um, delivery people, All of that. They can't stay home. So we have to stay home for them so that they don't get sick. And we don't keep spreading this. I know it's hard to know a lot of people are like, but I'm just going over to my one friend's house, and we're just gonna know even the fact that you're getting in a car and you're driving means that you could potentially I know this sounds terrible. you could get into a car accident and then we are requiring emergency service is to save our ass for trying to go to our friend's house when they really should be saving other people who are maybe struggling to breathe with Corona virus in their home. And they need to be taken to the hospital. I don't know. Stay home, stay safe. So best way we can look out for each other. So I hope you're doing that because I haven't left my house in a really long time, and I don't like it either. Um, and it's okay to, like, sit in front of a window, get some sun on your face because we all need that vitamin D. It's really important that we get that, um, or if you need to sit in your car with the you know, the windows up but all like if you have a sun roof, you open that blind on it and just let it feel it. That's okay, too. And if you're fortunate enough to have, like, a big backyard or something, like sit out there, I'm so jealous. Send me photos. So jealous. Okay, that's enough question number one is it common to go backwards at the beginning of therapy? I found that when I first begin therapy after being away for a while, I always feel worse for a few weeks before getting better. Yes, it's very common. I wouldn't call it going backwards. I kind of like Kelly said, I feel worse, and now that I like that, that's not a good thing. I get that. However, I do want you to know that when we get back into therapy, it's like, Do you know when Uh, I've talked about this before When it comes to eating disorders like it gets worse before it gets better? Because we've been like stuffing something down for so long. For instance, I'll share my own personal examples like I know if I'm really tearful in regular life and I, um I don't know, let's say I get, like, angry on more irritable than normal in my head. I'm like you should probably go back into therapy. She probably talked to someone. Let's do that. Let's make that happen. And then when I go into therapy, what happens? I cry a lot. I feel bad a lot. I like talk to talk through all the stuff I had been stuffing down to cause that therapy need some make sense. I hope so. So when we get into therapy, he could be like that Damn that we've built up is broken and for a while is just like a flood of emotions, a flood of all the good, bad, ugly, whatever. And so, yes, it's very normal for the first few weeks for you to feel a little bit worse, almost like we're like, uh, trying thio to break even. We're tryingto move through that stockpile that we have of emotions and overwhelm. We're trying to dig through it, sort it and then we'll be like, Okay, now we're back to baseline. So it's very normal to feel overwhelmed at the beginning and in general, when it comes to eating this or self injury addiction, when we first tried to stop, it's gonna feel terrible because I've been using that coping skill forever, right? We've used it, makes us feel so much better, and and it helps us like, numb out or not have to think about that or feel that, or et cetera, et cetera. And so when we stop using it all the reasons that we were using it. Like maybe past trauma or abuse. Ah, relationship upset. Ah, overwhelming anger. Uh, anything. All those things come flooding back because we're not using that unhealthy coping skill to cope. And I know I know it sucks. I know it feels terrible, but it does get better. So if we just stick with it, it will go away. Like this person said, I feel worse for the first few weeks, and I do, too. It's like I have so much to talk about for like, three or four sessions. Worms like Oh my God and I leave feeling exhausted and have cried the whole session. That's how I am cried my car in the home. And then it's not so bad anymore. It's more helpful. I need more homework. I need more tangible tools because I've kind of come over that hump. And now I'm like, Okay, I can sustain this. I can do this. Um, so yeah, very common. Stick with it. It's always hard at the beginning, but once we kind of dug through, our stockpile will feel a little bit better. They'll start to get better and better. and better. Okay. Question number two. Hey, Katie. I recently realized that I was perent ified when I was a child and all. Don't worry. I'll tell you what that means. Um, and may have also been emotionally abused. My therapist suggests that I try to forgive my parents to ease some of the resentment I hold, but I don't know if I'm ready to do that or will ever be ready. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this very good question? And I think a lot of us were perent ified Children, especially if you're the oldest child or it's like the most responsible child. In a lot of ways, we could have cared for other siblings and acted as the parent or for a parent. Um, okay, so let's get into sorry. And what it means to be a parental fied child means that when you were a child, you weren't able to act in childlike ways. Instead, you were forced to act like an adult to do things a parent should be doing. That could be taking care of your siblings. That could be having your parent talk to you like you're their friend, not their child, like your mother or father should never I talk to you about their sex life and how their relationship was. Whoever they're dating is going or how they cheat on them. That's something that they talk to their friends about. You know what they talked to you about? Did you do your homework? How that classic. Oh, um, what's how's your friend that you know, had broke her leg last month? I don't know. They ask you about things that are regular child parent conversations. We are not our parents friend. That's a weird thing that can mess us up so that we never got to be a child. And I've seen a lot of people tell me how because their parental fied when they get older, they find themselves like either overly responsible meaning, Super like. We'll have a lot of control issues, inability to let other people do things for them. They might have trust issues like you can't trust anybody else to be there for you. You're the only one that can do it, and we can even kind of revert back and go into, like, a second chance for childhood where we act out in childish ways because we never had that opportunity. So that's what it means to be a parent. If I child I have a whole video about. If you want to get on YouTube, you can search Kati Marton perent ified child, and you'll find it. Okay, so that's what we're dealing with. And it takes us some time to realize that we've been through. I I know that it's very normal to be like, Oh, I recently realized, and I'm like, 36 or something. That's that's totally, totally normal. Okay, now the question is about forgiving your parents, so we know they were a print. If I'd child, they may have also also been emotionally abused. Um, it's interesting that your therapist suggested you try to forgive and I get it, um, forgiveness. That's interesting about forgiveness. And I struggle with it personally, so don't think that I'm like, Oh, this is so easy. Just do it. Just forgive. Just say you know, all is forgiven. Move on. But there is a huge difference, and I want you to I really feel this. I talked about this in the recent video about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I think those are huge. Hey, is a huge gap in between others world. They're worlds apart, but we often think they're the same. Forgiveness does not have to mean Let's continue this relationship or it's okay. I don't mind that you treated me that way. That's not what forgiveness means. Forgiveness means I am not gonna hold on to the shame, the anger, the resentment, the frustration or guilt that I feel any more about this situation. I'm gonna forgive and let it go. That's all Forgiveness really means. You guys. And I know that it's hard because I even personally think that forgiveness like hope, let him off the hook. Let him get away with that. I should hold it over their head for the rest. Their life. There's such a garbage human, huh? But you can already tell That's me holding on to my anger, right? I even could feel even as I said those words, I could feel myself getting amped up and like who? Oh, hang gree, right? I mean, especially someone hurt somebody I love. Well, I'm so angry, but that doesn't mean reconciliation. No, actually letting them off the hook. I'm letting myself off the hook. Who likes to feel resentment all the time or angry all the time. It's exhausting. And not to mention I don't like having my brain filled with negativity. If I'm doing all this work on myself trying to talk more positively, think more positive thoughts. I don't want to have it filled with all this negativity about someone else. Yeah, it's not about me, but it's still negative and it still pulls me down. And so I think that it is something that we should all consider doing is to forgive. But I would encourage you to watch my video about forgiveness versus reconciliation and knowing that just because we forgive our parents, even if they did, some really fucked up shit and really ruined our childhood or a life and oftentimes were thinking like I'm spending thousands of dollars in therapy just to deal with what they did, like, how dare you, But by forgiving them, it doesn't mean that we're going to continue the relationship. It doesn't mean we even have to give them access to us. It doesn't mean what they did is okay. It just means that we're not gonna hold on to all those nasty feelings anymore. We're gonna forgive. We're gonna let it go. And I promise you you'll feel so much better otherwise holding onto resentment. Anger just kind of festers inside of us until we explode. Um, and that's when we can get, like, rage filled randomly on the street where somebody cuts us off. Like, Are you OK that we go from 0 to 100 and because we're already just filled with so much of that anger and resentment So it's okay, let it go. It's okay to forgive. And I know that that's hard, but I like to think of it. Just keep reframing it in your head. But it doesn't mean acceptance. It doesn't mean reconciliation. It means I don't want to feel like should anymore. And that's an easier thing to come around to. You know, I always find him. I liked. I liked breathe heavily into the mic, and I'm sorry, I don't know how to knot. And it's like it's far enough away from my mouth, my face, But I you know, you gotta breathe. Okay, Ichinose. So I think to answer the last part of the question Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this, I think. I mean, my main suggestion would be to do the work on the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. And you know how forgiveness is not acceptance and consider what forgiveness could mean for you and how you would go about forgiving them, because the thing about forgiveness is we don't actually have to say anything to them at all. We don't have to interact with them at all. All we have to do is let ourselves off the hook for all the anger and resentment we may feel. And so I would just encourage you to start journaling about it, thinking about it, talking about in therapy. And when you're ready, you'll you'll do it. But I can tell you, from personal experience, letting go of that. It's so freeing it makes you feel so much better. And no, it doesn't make it perfect. And also, no, it doesn't mean you have to be in relation with that person, which I have to be honest. Just that thought of it was a big change in my life when I thought about the difference mean forgiveness and reconciliation and the fact that forgiveness doesn't mean I want to see you again. Forgiveness just means I don't want to think about you again. That's better. So, yeah, Take your time. I think it is. I agree with her therapist is something you should consider. Um, but framing it that way, hopefully gives you were like, Oh, hopefully give you a little ah haw potential moment where you're like, I could maybe do that. I could think about that. Um, but give yourself time. Okay. Question number three. And this is a question. I've received a lot since, uh, since the Corona virus shenanigans, cause we're all stuck on our houses and Shawn's creeping by here beside. I don't know if you can see him but his during his think right, cause he's checking. He's making soup. And so it was checking on it, and it was kind of funny to see him like creeping. I don't know if you maybe you caught him on the edge of the frame. I don't know, but that's what that was. So anyways, this question so common right now because we're all in her house is therapy isn't working the way it used to be. We don't get to go into the office is like we used to it. It sucks, and I get it. And so the question is, how can I prepare for online therapy sessions via Skype? I feel very nervous about it. And a lot of you are telling me that you feel super nervous and you're not sure how to prepare, and you don't really know what to expect. And it's just awkward. And how do I find space in my home? And there's all sorts of things about this. So okay, my first thought on this is we all have certain rituals we do around therapy. Many of you have told me that you like, go get a coffee or a tea or you Philip your water bottle and you grab your journal. You get in your car, you go to therapy and some of you put on like, cozy pants, things like that. And then we go. We wait and it starts and we sit on the couch and he pulled a pillow to our chest. We put a blanket over ourselves, or whatever we do. We do that almost every week. Maybe your therapist has, like a fidget toy or, um, some, like silly putty or something that lets you use, uh and you use that while you talk. We can still do all of those things except go to the actual office, and it would encourage you to continue those rituals. So for me, I used to always go get a coffee at this one place, and I can't get that coffee now because it's not open because it's not essential business business, Which is crazy because coffee is essential. I'm just kidding. Um, but I can make a coffee and Mike in my kitchen. I'm pointing over there because my kitchen is over there, but I could make it a coffee in there. I could make it just the way I like. I can pick it up. I can take it into my Maybe, let's say the office is the quietest place or the bedroom. I can go into that space. I can grab that pillow off the couch and I can hug it to my chest. I can sit in a comfortable spot and I can start my session. And so as much as you can try to do that ritual, try to continue. I could bring out my silly putty. I could order some on Amazon or something. Pick it up A target. Whatever. So that I have something to keep my hands busy. Just do that same ritual. Get yourself in that rhythm. I know it's not quite the same if you have to get in your car and driver on the block park and get back out and come back into your house, and that makes you feel a little better. I'm fine with that too. Do whatever you have to do to try to stay in that routine so that your body and brain are amped up and ready for therapy. And creating a private space is very important to I know this sucks for a lot of you here. Like, uh, my parents don't know I'm in therapy. You do it in your car, or you do it. You tell them you're gonna call a friend, and you sit in your closet and you turn on music and the other rooms they can't hear you do whatever you can, Um, and you connect that way. But we have to make it work for us. And we have to figure out what the ritual routine is for us. Um, I know it's tricky also the great thing when this person says, but I feel nervous about it. The great thing is we can have notes in front of us, right? If I'm on Skype, I can have another window open or a tablet off to the sides of the Skype is on one side, and this is on the other and you can have all my notes like, Hey, this week up in having anxious. This is what I would tell my therapist have an anxiety dreams. I've been a little bit more irritable because I'm not sleeping as well. Um, I have ruminating thoughts about disaster, and you know all these things so I could write those things down. And then I could talk directly to my therapist while a month's guy. If it could be like, Hey, you know, these are things I'm experiencing. So my anxiety is a little bit higher. Have been having, like, kind of down depressive thoughts. I'm using my thought stopping techniques, but it's not getting better, you know, make sure I don't forget anything. So take advantage of that and also talk about how awkward. This isn't how anxious you are. It's okay. That's what therapy is. Therefore, he could be like, Hey, I'm glad you're doing Skype sessions. I don't want to think that I don't you know, But this is really uncomfortable and I'm kind of anxious. That's okay, can bring that up. We can process that. We can come up with tools and tips and things to do to help alleviate that. Because, trust me, we're all feeling very nervous and anxious right now, and I'm sure that this is just adding to it. Um, but those are just some tips and tricks on how to prepare for online therapy. I know it's just not the same, and I prefer to see my patients in person. But that's just not something we can do right now. And that doesn't mean that you know we won't be able to get back to it. This isn't forever. We will get through this, so let's not catastrophe eyes unless just set up a new ritual routine that we do before and make sure we keep doing it and then ask for homework. Make sure you got homework that you can do because that kind of keeps us going in between sessions when we may feel like we have all this time on her hands toe, think negative thoughts or do negative things, Am I right? It helps to have a little bit of homework. I know that it's weird for the therapist, too. I don't enjoy Skype sessions as much as in person. Sure, they're helpful, and it's a great way to connect. And I appreciate technology, and I know that it's necessary. But there's just some things that we miss to. First of all, it's weird for you to only see me from here up and for me to not be in my office and, ah, I might be missing the fact that your foot is shaking around and fidgeting because you're anxious or nervous. I won't see that because you can keep this part of you still, um, maybe you haven't showered, but you you don't make it look like you did. I don't know. There's a lot of things that are missing when we're not in session together, and also just that holding environment. I've heard from a lot of you, even my patients, that they like, miss, that the space and the security and safety that comes with coming to the office. And that's why we kind of have to create it at home. I know it's not as good. It's not the same, but we can make it, you know, be just enough for now to hold us until we can go back, which hopefully is in a couple of months, we'll see. I know in L. A in Santa Monica, They've They've, like, extended the closing of nonessential businesses until April 30th. I believe so. We'll be here for a while, folks. Okay? Another drink of water. Okay. It's cause when I talk a lot, my throat starts to hurt. If I don't do that so something I've learned over my years of live streaming. Okay. Question number four. How can we know if we had depression in the past? I know I'm not supposed to self diagnose, but I'm fairly sure about it. The truth about depression is, um, most of us, I would assume, has gone through what I would call a depressive episode. Does that mean we have major depressive disorder and it's going on forever? No. Does that mean that we, you know, definitely would have been diagnosed with it. No, but I think almost everyone has had a depressive episode and I'm not. I'm not saying everybody has, but I would guess that most of us, the majority of people have And what a depressive episode looks like is we have changes in our sleep or appetite. We don't enjoy things that, um and we call it I am well said Agathe Zhou Yu guys. And that is not the word. And hodo nia. I don't know why, um, but we just don't find enjoyment in the things that we used to. And that could be like, Oh, I used to love to find new music and listen to what I used to love to doodle. You still love to, Ah, play my guitar, go shopping, eat adventurous food. I don't know. I used to like to dance ice like duel, and I don't like any of anymore. None of it brings me joy. It's such a task. It's like of this thing I have to do and so will feel that way. And we'll also, um, just feel shitty about things. And I say that is like a blanket statement, because a lot of the symptoms of depression are things like, um, like I said, like lack of enjoyment, It could be suicidal thoughts. It could be negative thoughts about ourselves, our situation feeling kind of hopeless, helpless things like that and then back to like, the sleep changes, appetite changes. Um, just feeling very down about our situation. And I think a lot of us have fallen into that and this has to be happening and I could be wrong. You guys can correct me in those comments down below if I'm like forgetting something, but it's just off top my head. I haven't grabbed my d s. Um, I could I don't think it's necessary. You guys get the gist, but this has happened for most of a day for two weeks. So for 14 days, so most of the days we feel this way and it happens for atleast two weeks. That's not that long. I know it feels like a really long time. Trust me, I've been there. I've had shitty things happen in my life, too. I've been down and out, too. Two weeks is goes by very quick, even though when you're in, it feels like a lifetime. So that's how we would know. However, I do agree with what they're saying. Not supposed to self diagnose self diagnoses gives us. I've talked about this and videos in the past, but it gives us like a place to start. It gives us a new idea of what we would need to see someone about. I think that it helps to kind of know our symptoms. No, we're struggling with no what we want to work on. Um, but other than that, I don't really think it has a place because after that, we can't, uh, you know, we don't know if that's actually what our diagnosis is. What is what if we have depression? But we actually have bipolar disorder, and this depression is just a part of it. And we don't recognize Maurin. Hypo mania were like, Oh, I came out of my depression. I was so efficient. I got so much done. I had so much energy. We can feel great. People around us are like sums going on with Katie. She is way to energize. I'm not really sure, but we aren't able to see it. And that's why it's really, really, really important that we see a therapist, psychiatrist, a psychologist, any mental health professional. We see them to get properly diagnosed because even if we think we have depression, we might be wrong. And so I don't believe that it behooves us to then try to, like, treat ourselves and get these books that are self self help, because then we're just relying on that one person's thing. Thio assist us in this thing that we don't even know if we really have. But it does give us a place to start. I think it is helpful. Could be really, um, great to be able to look into certain specialists to help us with whatever you know it is we're struggling with, um yeah, so I hope that that helps. I know it's like I know we all want to self diagnose, but it's just a slippery slope and I want to make sure we all get treated for exactly what's going on. And it's also important that we see therapist for a while before they diagnose us. There's no, like, quick way to know. Oh, they struggle with this and that's exactly what it is. We have to track your symptoms. We have to ask questions. We have to get to know you. You have to be honest with us. All of those components are really important and key when it comes to diagnosing, um, and then treating. Okay. And if you want more information on depression like I have videos on high function depression have a video on major depressive disorder talking about all the diagnostic criteria one at a time. Um, but there are those two things that we have to have, which is like the and Adonia, like the lack of interest in things and lack of enjoyment. And then overall just ah, feeling of dread, hopelessness, helplessness like, But I believe that's But if my memory serves me, it's just the two. Okay, um question number five, jeering this pandemic. How can we cope with having all appointments cancelled? It's been really difficult to suddenly have no support while I'm struggling the most with my eating disorder and mood, and I want to talk a little bit about eating disorders. That's why I left this question. And I know it's kind of similar to like preparing for online therapy sessions and blah, blah blah but eating disorders hard. I'm sure you all are really struggling and I'm sorry. This is a stressful time. And what is our eating to sort of do for us? It's a coping skill. It helps us feel better for a short period time before it ruins our life. But it does help us feel better a little bit, and it's our coping skill, and I get it. You're comfortable with that coping skill and it's comfortable hanging out. And so it's probably really, really, really triggering right now. And so we got to use all our tools. You guys, we have to make sure we set up appointments. I know appointments are canceled, but I want you to ask for Zoom and Skype. I want you to do phone sessions. I want you to connect. It's so important right now that we all have the support that we need. Things are chaotic. I don't even know how to cope. Some days you guys, we're in a pretty shitty situation. It sucks to be isolated, especially during this, because the one thing that we do need is support and connection and relationships, and it sucks that we don't We're not getting that in the way that we used to. And so I know that you still have support. We just have to adjust to do some zoom or Skype or whatever. Um, push for that. I can't imagine your therapist or dietitian or whoever. Your treatment team is not doing those Everybody I know is doing them and we're busier than ever. So set those appointments up and then also get back into your tools and tips. Uh, you could even just Google impulse log, print that out, then use it. It should say something like, What's the impulse? And I'd be like, use eating disorder behavior, insert whatever that is. What's the date and time? What are the field? What are three feelings I'm experiencing right now? Um, what do I think this behavior would accomplish? And then I always add in, Like what? What's something I could do instead? And I want you put three things in there. Once you've done those three things, you wait 30 minutes. You can do whatever the fuck you want, but I want you to follow through it once you do that impulse log, and that will slow down this ah, eating disorder relapse or sliding back a little bit. Um, because we have to keep track of those who have to recognize where they're coming from, and I will Oh, I want you all to understand that when we are in this stress response because of, like, the pandemic lets you know we're in fight flight freeze that triggers are a Magdala, which we all know, right? I've talked about that. A law. It's like this little bean to part being like thing in the middle of our brain in our mid brain. Um, and it sounds the alarm. And when it's triggered in the middle is like, hey, dudes and dude ettes. We need to either fucking fight flight or freeze. And I'm taking charge. And it sounds when it sends that alarm it, like, shuts off our prefrontal cortex. Our prefrontal cortex is like, I don't know, that seems a little impulsive. It's like, I think that that that that not now we're fight five freezing. You shut the fuck up. I'm taking over so it takes over sounds the alarm. And so because that that's our wise mind that prefrontal cortex is our wise mind. It's the part of our head. That's like two. But if I say it that way, maybe they would think that I don't really want to get into a fight. I would. It reasons it takes into account different variables and what the outcome's could be, and it tries to make the best choice for us. It's like the adult part of our brain to control center. But if it's off line because he mingles like a freaking out, well, you know, sounding alarm, then we're not gonna be that great at making decisions. And so this is why I believe all of our urges. Thio, self injured to use the dinosaurs to maybe, you know, feel suicidal, want to act out in some ways like that. I think all those things were being triggered because our prefrontal cortex is off line. And so what we have to do more than anything is bleeding to those impulse logs, and we gotta find some ways to soothe our system. And to that end, I'm going to do a video I'm just working on right now about, like the meditation and that beginner's guide for that, because I think that could really help a lot of us But if we're in fight or flight, um, we could use the four by four breathing. We can use things like calm if we need to be more ignited cause we're in freeze. That might mean like we need a snap a rubber band on your wrist, me to squeeze ice. It could be some of those things to kind of get us out of that. Um, it's a lot of the ground and techniques. We can count colors in the room. We can put on some louder music. We can do my old video. Um, breath of fire. I could do that with that gives you like Maur energy. Um, so there are certain things that we can do because I think that that's why all this is coming just bubbling to the top. So it's just in summation, um, to deal with your eating disorder and your mood. Set up some appointments, requests, requests, requests. Um, Skype, er zu more face time phone sessions. Whatever. To connect with your team, dig into those impulse logs and then check out my coping skills video my 25 coping skills video to find some things that help kind of soothe you calm you down and let's do those a little bit more. Okay? I know it's hard, but again, like, it won't be forever. We'll get through this, uh, just, you know, use your tools. Okay. Okay. Question number six. Hi, Katie. Do you have any tips for dealing with your own failed suicide attempt? Thanks for your videos. They really helped me and literally saved my life. Oh, of course. I'm glad that I could be there when you needed. Um, that's the cool thing about YouTube is it's accessible 24 7 And I know a lot of you've told me, like the night time is like, the hardest time. Okay? Another drink of water. Um, I think when it comes to suicide attempts that we feel are failed, Even if I've heard from a lot my patients, they consider them failed, even if they didn't really follow through with them completely. Because they, like, did some of the action. Um, a lot of it is the shame and guilt. And the only way I believe, too process, shame and guilt in a re away is to talk about it, shows some courage and share your story. Be vulnerable with your therapist about why and in what had happened and why. You know why this became what it was, um, and allow yourself to just like I feel it and grieve it. I know that sounds weird, because you're like, Katie. Nobody. Nobody died. Nothing really happened. It was failed. No. What happened was I felt hopeless, and I felt helpless. And then I tried to take my own life and always the thought then from my patients. I've heard them from my viewers, like you have heard this. And then I couldn't even do that. Ah, the like clothing. And so we have to grieve what we thought was gonna happen. I know that sounds weird, but allow yourself to just feel shitty and bummed about it. It's okay, but then we're going to have to move past. So just because we allow ourselves to feel something does not mean we allow ourselves to wallow again. Kind of like to that forgiveness versus reconciliation. Feeling feelings doesn't mean wallowing or ruminating. Feeling feelings means I I hear them. I feel them. I let myself process what happened and why I felt that way. And then I let it go. I'm letting it go is just like onto the next feeling on the next thought onto the next thing. And so allow yourself that time. Allow yourself to feel sad about it, to feel embarrassed, to feel shame, whatever it is you need to feel. But then the thing the Onley way out from that shame is to share your story, to speak your truth, to be courageous and tell your therapist or other mental professional that that that happened and you were in this dark place and for a lot of people to it helps for them to feel like they can help someone else. So sometimes will, ah, you know, share stories online or talk at schools. Or do some hours at the crisis text line become like a crisis counselor like there are ways we can get back to the community if that's something that you think would really help you. I know that that helps a lot of people, um, and then we have to go back and learn from it, and this is the part in therapy. After we've kind of like process what happened and how you're feeling and how we're doing is now that we're after it, I'd want to create a safety plan so that we have that in place. Have a whole video about this. Also, I want to know what made this attempt happen. What took place that we feel triggered this all the way up to you actually acting on it. Because as a therapist, I don't want that to happen again. I don't want you to feel that dark and hopeless ever again. And I don't I assure as hell don't want you to try to take your own life. So I want to know what went wrong. And I want to track back to all the feelings and experiences and things that were going on and how we felt in blood level of all the way back there so that we can better manage it. And I know I know. It's It's hard. It's difficult. A lot of times many of you told me that you feel like Oh, well, it's just hopeless. I'm hopeless, is helpless. Never gonna get better. It will get better. We just need some support. Everybody needs support sometimes. And right now we're missing connectivity. I'm very, very worried that we're going to see suicide rates go up in the States and all across the world. Really? Um, because of this Corona virus, because we need connection. We need people to come over and hug us and, you know, with consent rubber back. Tell us it's gonna be okay. We really need that. That's the antidote for all this loneliness and stress were experiencing. So that's what I would do. We have to feel it. We have to grieve it. We have to talk about in therapy, come up with a safety plan and learn from it. Because trust me, I know you don't like feeling that shitty, and I don't want you to feel that shitty. So we work with your therapist to figure out what went wrong and what we could do instead, and that goes into your safety plan. That's how we put those together. It's like, Okay, if this is how we're gonna feel, this is what usually happens, how do we get in the middle of that and do something different? So if the thought is this is never gonna get better, I might as well just, you know, call it quits. Now, how do we do? We do some thought stopping. Maybe we do. Do we do just abstract do, But that was a mouthful. Do we do some distractions? We probably d'oh. Um, so doing that will really, really help. You kind of, like, get out of having that happen again. Cool. And I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. It was shitty. And I know it's terrible, but we'll get through this. People count on you. I'm counting on you. You're important. I see you. You're valuable. There's a reason that you're here. Don't let those negative thoughts take that from you. They only tell you lies. Okay? Trust me. I know I have heard them. They're horrible, horrible, horrible. But they're liars. Okay. Question number seven. We're making pretty good time, You guys. Course number seven says, I think I have bipolar. I've researched a lot about it, and most the things say in the I think English isn't their first language. So it's a little tricky. So says I researched a lot of things and most things say I think most of what it says is exactly what's happening to me. I think that's what they mean. I started thinking that I might have have one because I saw this show where the character had bipolar disorder. And I am so confused that I experienced the care experience, what the character has gone through in the show. It all started when my grandfather and auntie died a year after, oh, year after year. So the one died in the next year. The other died. I'd assume I was so confused until now, and I told my parents about this, but they didn't believe me. They said, I'm just so lazy and don't have a dream And that's why I'm like this. But my question is, is it possible that I'm making all this? I'm making this bipolar disorder up just to escape from things or just be like or just be lazy at the time. Now, I guess, would be lazy now. Sorry, it's I know your English is way better than whatever language you speak primarily because I don't speak any very well. So I get I get the point. So the point is, I think I have bipolar disorder. I researched a lot about it, and it seems to be exactly what I'm experiencing. They watched a show where the character had bipolar disorder. Um, and so they're worried that maybe they're making it up or they're just being lazy. And I think that might be coming from the fact that, you know, you told your parents and they don't believe you. Um, I think first of all, the only way to get properly diagnosed is to see someone I'd like to guess about this. Like, could it have been the you research so much? And then you felt like it was enough of it was correct. And so now you think that sure could you not have it? Sure. The only way to get properly diagnosed is to see a mental health professional. I would go do that if we're feeling any kind of upset. Any kind of ah, like not ourselves. Like in the in the d. S. M. They always talk about how if it impairs our ability to function in our everyday life, that's, like, always one of the criteria for everything. And if we're feeling like something's impairing our ability function, we should see somebody. Our mental health is no different than our physical health. And if I'm feeling so sick that I'm not able to get to work. I'm gonna go see a doctor. If that continues, right, I might let it happen for a day or two until my go. Shit. I got to go see someone. I got to see the doctor. This is bad. So why don't we do that for a mental health We can feel like, shouldn't struggle to get to work because of our mental for years before we actually do anything about it. So reach out, see someone and get properly diagnosed. But when it comes to the thought that you're just being lazy, I don't think that's true at all. Um, having a mental illness doesn't make us lazy. Struggling to understand if we have one reading about it doing research that's not lazy, that actually took a lot of effort. So no. And then the other question about is it possible you're making it up just to escape things? I mean, I don't see how making a bipolar disorder would help you escape anything. I think that a lot of times we have such negative self talk that even when we think something's wrong, we like second guess ourselves and don't believe ourselves and so I don't want you to think that there's that, Uh, it's not very common people to make up mental disorders. If you have, ah, mental illness, you'll get properly diagnosed and treated. If you don't, that doesn't mean that you don't have, like, emotional issues that need to be worked out in therapy. It just means it wasn't something that was diagnosable and that, you know that doesn't make it any less valid. So I don't think you're making it up. If you've been hurting and not feeling quite right. If you have bipolar disorder and you researched it, if you've researched it and the symptoms line up with how you've been feeling than most likely you know you best. Um, but people don't make up. I just don't think you're making it up. It might not be the right one for you. You might have something different. I don't know. But that's why you should see a mental professional get properly diagnosed. They'll let you know, and yeah, it will get better. Hopefully you can see someone without having your parents involved, because they sound kind of like a big old turds. Um, I would just tell them you'd like to see someone, You don't have to pretend that you know your diagnosis. It's okay to just tell our parents like, Hey, you know, I've been having a tough time and I'd really like to talk to someone. I know different cultures have different views, but I think it's really important that we listen to our Children when they reach out for help and they speak up. I know how much energy that takes from kids. I hear about it all the time, how hard it is, how many weeks you tried in practice and try to come up with what gonna say and what they might say back and the anxiety about it all. If your child comes to you asking for help, give it to them, it takes. I mean, I know some people like Oh, it's but it's expensive. So we are a lot of things. If they broke her arm, would you not take in the hospital for it to get set and putting a cast? Yes, you would take him to see a therapist, take them to see a mental health professional, so I would see if you can see someone without get them involved. I believe you. We just need to get your properly diagnosed so you can get proper treatment. Okay. Question number eight. Should I tell my therapist about my suicide ideation that came again even though I survived from it. So if you don't know what suicidal ideation is, suicidal ideation is like suicidal thoughts. It's like I can think I'm gonna think about it when I i d eight. I'm going to, you know, have maybe a potential plan that I try to think about. Or this could be just like those thoughts that kind of come by like, Think of him like clouds, like it pops up. It tells me I'm worthless, Nisha and my life. And I'm like, I know you thought interesting. E Think about it for a while. I let it go. That's a suicidal ideation is just thinking about it. We don't have a plan really in place completely. We don't really have the means to do it. Nor is the threat imminent meaning. And I'm not gonna try to take my life anytime soon. It's just a thought. I don't know where it came from. I don't really like it, but I I recognize it and thought about it for a little while. Okay, so that's what suicidal ideation is. But the question Should I tell my therapist about it 100%? You should. I think it's really important as therapists that we have as much information as possible. The more information we have from you, the better we can treat it like the if we don't have all the information, we aren't working with a full deck of cards, right? We don't We aren't able to potentially give you homework, tools, tips or help that is truly beneficial to the real problem, because we might not even know, like your therapist might not even know that you had suicidal thoughts at all. And I think that's important because as a therapist, I like to check in on those If I know you've had him before, even if it was five years ago, every couple of weeks I'm gonna ask you about it. Hey, if you had any of those thoughts, come back, you know, I know that I know it's been years, but I just want to check in. I want to give you a safe space to talk about it a little improbable. Talk about it or say no, nothing. It's fine. I think the important thing when you bring this up with your therapist and you say, Hey, I had used have suicidal thoughts, but, you know, I survived them. I haven't haven't acted on it. It's been a while or, you know, but a month in a year But whatever. Tell them that and say But I just wanted you to know that they have come up again like they have come up before. So I want to make sure they don't come up again, and that will give them an idea of, like, some tips and tools and things. Maybe they'll create a safety plan for you. So you have it just in case there's a lot of things that we can do. Um, just make sure you tell them that these thoughts are not current and happening now unless they are. But I'm just saying that as a therapist is important, we're gonna we're gonna want to know how long they've been happening, what they are. Do you have the means you have a plan? Means is like, Do you have the thing that you're like whatever you needed to, you know, act out on your suicidal thoughts. You have a plan in place. And is it happening now? Like when? When is this gonna happen? And so we're gonna shoot like, whoever your therapist is, they're going to ask you those questions because I need to figure out how to treat it. But I would definitely tell them if you don't tell them power, this was to help you with it. They can't. OK, more water. And we have three more questions. OK, Question number nine on an ethical or moral level. Do you believe that in some cases, suicide is okay or is it always evil? Now that this question was interesting? First of all, I don't think suicide is evil. I think suicide is, uh is it happens in a place of pure darkness where there's no hope or helped to be found. Even the hope and help that we thought we had doesn't seem to do it. And we have just enough energy to act out on these very negative false thoughts. That's what I think suicide is. I think that it's ah, it's a tough place to be him when We think that, like nothing can help. No one cares. That's a hard place to be in. And it's It's also very hard to lose someone to suicide. It's a very complicated grief situation, Um, and so I don't think that suicide is always evil. I think, uh, I think it's very impulsive and not proper. I don't ever think that it's okay. I know people are gonna disagree with us and think, Hey, there are times when suicides, Okay, you have no idea of my situation. I don't need to. You know why? Because there's always hope. There's always something we can do. I know suicidal thoughts and depressive thoughts. Try to take that from us. That try tells it'll never get better. Why even bother? They take our motivation, they take our hope and they just keep us in the dark. But that doesn't mean that that hope and, you know motivation don't still exist. Outside of that, darkness has tried to create. We can rip through that thick, dark black blanket. It's put over our life, and we can start to see even which is a little dot at a time of hope and motivation. It can come back. It is just blinding us. It's like, um, for lack of a better description. It's almost like having a delusion. And I'm not saying that suicidal thoughts are part of it's in there, not delusions. I'm just giving you like an analogy. When we have schizophrenia, we have what are called delusions, which are firmly held beliefs and what that means is, and there's a false beliefs. But we believe them 100%. And there's nothing that I could say or do to change that belief in you. And until my patients with schizophrenia get on medication, they aren't able to see another way, like they believe Jesus is talking to them through their television. And no matter how I unplug the TV and show them, there's no way how would how would he get in? We turned the WiFi off. There's all these, you know, we can do all our logical things. That's not how Jesus talks of people. They're not going to believe me. They believe Jesus is talking to them through their television every day at a certain time or whatever, or the CIA or those of the most common anyway. Depressive, suicidal thoughts are no different there, these false beliefs that we just can't quite let go of. And that's why I really think that the important thing to try to do is obviously to see a professional. But we need to start working on that self talk because when we're suicidal, are self talk is the shittiest of shit shit. It's just a garbage heap. All it is is negative, nasty. It puts us down. It robs us of our hope, robs of her motivation, and it robs us of having any life. So in essence, it creates itself, and it just it's like a snowball effect, right? So what we have to do is have to start noticing those thoughts. And I know we're not gonna be able to say, Oh, but I do like myself, like we're gonna be able to have any positive ones to fight back. But we can fight back with bridge statements, statements like it's possible that these thoughts aren't helping me. They're not helping at all. It's possible these thoughts are lies. They could be maybe, maybe 0.1% of me could believe that That's a lie. Maybe my therapist is right and I should try to possibly think more positively. We can just livin the possibility for a little bit and then work towards. So that's like the beginning. We're building like the foundation of one side of our bridge. They were going to start bridging the gap. So those thoughts that we have, maybe one of them is like I'm worthless and how nobody loves me. I can start thinking it's possible. I'm not a shitty of a person, as I think maybe maybe I'm not. I could be, but maybe I'm not. I don't know. I'm open to the idea that maybe I'm not. That's the first little bit of our bridge we're gonna start growing and growing it over into the positive thought, which is, I know that I'm worthwhile and people do care about me where we're a long way off from that, but we can get there, please have to build it. One would slap at a time as we build our bridge. So from those first little thoughts of maybe it's possible, not a shooting. I think I am moving to. It's possible that I am nice and people I maybe people might like me sometime in my life. And maybe they might. I could I could I could believe that. Maybe if I think about it enough and we're gonna do this every day to get ourselves out of that deep pit that suicidal thoughts have kept us in and depression has snuffed out their hope. We have to get that back. It's still exists. It just won't let us see it. But that doesn't mean with the right mental health care and support potentially medication. If that's been beneficial for you, and tracking those fucking shitty thoughts with those things would get better. It does go away. I know, like, kind of what I told you before about how being in our stress response, how it pulls our prefrontal cortex offline and we are able to make good decisions. That's what depressive thoughts do to us as well. They don't allow us to make the decisions, were super impulsive and can't even see the full picture. We're just, like, narrowed in on the negative parts of it. And so I know that you're not thinking about it. All are seen it all. You're only seeing what your depression allows you to see or your suicidal thoughts allow you to see there is hope. It does get better. You're important. I see you. You're valuable. And you deserve a full, happy, healthy life. Um, so, yeah, I don't think that suicide is ever okay, I understand it, but I don't think it's okay. But it's not evil either. Like I said, I understand where it comes from, but it doesn't mean that I can't strive to try to stop it. Okay. Question number 10. Some tips for insomniacs and how to improve sleep and when to go to the doctor about it. Well, right now, we can't go to the doctor, but I think the best way to improve our sleep I have an older video, probably like a year told about ways to improve our sleep. There's a lot of techniques we can use. A couple of them are first of all, cleaning out your sleep area. Don't mix your spaces. I don't want you working in bed. Bed should be for sex and sleep and nothing else. Okay, that's it, Period. And if you have some things in your room like a TV and I'm so sorry, but if your dog or cat sleeps with you. Not for a while till we get this sleep thing under control because they only move around and distract us. Wake us up, and we just need to not have anything that's gonna disturb us when we're trying to get this under control. Cool. I know I'm sorry. And a lover animals and a lot of pushback on that. But I'm being honest. I'm just telling you the facts. Let me drink a little water here, and so we got to clean up our space. Then I want you to if you're laying in bed and you can't fall asleep because some people can't fall asleep and some people can't stay asleep, some people struggle with both. But insomniac to me tells me you can't fall asleep. So if you lay in bed for, like, 2030 40 when we get to like the 40 minute mark into an hour, I need to get out of bed. Because otherwise we're just getting Maur and more frustrate er's. Our system is getting more and more ramped up. We're certainly feels so angry about that. Uh huh. We roll around with fluff our pillow again, and we throw the blankets on. We throw the blankets off because we're hot. We're cult. Were uncomfortable. Get out of bed, get up, do something non stimulating. Nothing backlit. No TV, no phone, no computer. Maybe read a book. Maybe we color. Maybe we pet our dog because now it's in the living room. We go out. We do that for 2030 minutes. We try to go back to sleep because we don't want to lay in bed and just get more and more upset. Try that. The next is if we aren't falling asleep. Let's say normally we try to go to bed at 10. 30 11 o'clock, but we're falling asleep till two in the morning and it is brutal. But now I want you to not go to sleep until two in the morning. I want you to stay up. In fact, I could be full permission to stay up. You stay up. You can not go to bed until two because I want you to be so tired that it to you go to bed, you zonk out so that I think it's called free. What? They called us asleep limitation. I'd have to look it up But anyway, we're just limited amount time that you're sitting in bed wishing for sleep to happen. And there's also things we could take over the counter. Now I'm not a doctor, but things like melatonin. Um, if you talk to your physician or your psychiatrist, a doctor and they say it's okay, you can take melatonin. There's healthy a Nina's one. Um, there's there's a couple o even CBD. Lot of people said that that's helped asleep. So there are over the counter things that we can take to assist us with sleep. But please talk to Dr First just to make sure if you're on other medication, it doesn't like, you know, interact with that. Our counter interact with your medication in a bad way or cause any kind of issue for you. Um, so, yeah, so there's that and then trying to think of what else? Um, the next is just changing the way we think about sleep. So it's like instead of ruminating on like I never sleep on sleep. It's such shitty thing, and I hate going to bed. There's gonna be ours. And that again, those are just negative thoughts about sleep. So instead of allowing those take over our mine and make us hate sleep. We need to turn him in more positive. Like, yeah, last night was rough, but tonight's gonna be better. I'm gonna do my things. I'm gonna use my tools and I'm gonna go to sleep right away and have the best night's sleep. Tomorrow is gonna be great. Don't be so arrested. We got I know that sounds weird, but he's got change it into a more positive thing. Um, yeah. And then also obviously no backlit items. No phone, laptop or TV. They say three hours before bed. I think that's crazy. Especially right now. So try 30 minutes, see if you can do 30 minutes. I think we all can probably do that before we lay down. So it's like, turn off the TV and start your bedtime routine. Wash your face. Having a routine is really important to, like, wash your face, brush your teeth, put your pajamas on and then we lay into bed. We do not pick up our phone, you know, we need to do that. And if that could give us a 30 minute window from when we turned off the TV. Stop looking our phone. That's that's the best that it could be. And if you wake a mill the night, do not grab your phone. Uh, so bad. So bad for you. It stops the melatonin production wakes us up. Okay, hopefully that helps. Final question. Are you Are you ready? Okay. How to balance re integration from a burnout with the stress of covert 19. Especially when this brings extra pressure in your daily job. I feel like these are exceptional times where we need to step it up and work together. And I really want to do my part. But also, I feel that my recovery takes a hit 100%. I feel that I feel the burn out, and so I think part of it is just increasing our own self care. Now I know when I say the word self care, because it's been used way too much to sell goods to us like face mass and foot baths and fucking massages and shit like that. It's not really what self care is. Self care is whatever is that breath in for you? For me, it's reading a really insightful, thoughtful book like right Now I'm reading one of Brennan Brown's books that I've had for years, and I read part of it like a long time ago. But I'm just re reading her book. It has a lot of new insights and things that I just Oh, just a breath in for me. I also love my murder mysteries on TV. That's a nice distraction. I get caught up in the story. I enjoy it. I feel relaxed. Another thing that I do is I listen to music Right now. It's kind of like Dark eR's sadder music, but it doesn't pull me into a spiral. I just feel calm. I enjoy the lyrics. I enjoy the beat of it. It helps soothe me and like, soothe my system. Overall, I also have been like rubbing my feet and doing stretches at night. Those are things that help so find ways to take breaks and do self care and also shut the media off. I am so sick of the news right now. I just can't even half the time. It's not even news. You guys is just commenting on things. We think this person is not doing enough. We don't understand why the tests are here. What a little a little. But this person is a loser. This person's a loser. Yatta! Yatta, pointing fingers, shouting Shut the fuck up! You know what? I want to know what's happening in my area. What do I need to do to keep my me and my family safe? How are things progressing or not? That's it. And then I need some other news. Tell me something else. Tell me something I don't know, Um and so just shut that media off. I only do about 30 minutes a day. That's about all I can handle. And one day I went without it completely. And surprise. Surprise. I had a much better day. So do those things to help with your self care, and then that will give us the energy to step it up. Because I'm feeling that pressure to where I'm feeling terrible. But I know that I'm supposed to be like a beacon of light for people, and that's it's hard and I don't want to Sorry. Excuse me. I just sniffed into this, um, my nose it. I don't want to burn myself out so that I can't do things at all like I can't take care of myself. I can't take care of anybody else. I can't put out good content. I don't wanna push it that far. So just be aware. Make sure you're taking care of yourself First. It's like back to that old saying from airlines where it's like, put on your mask first before you help someone else. We still have to do that. And so we have to increase that amount of self care we're doing. Maybe that means decreasing media to barely next to nothing so that we can get it together and step it up for our jobs. Because I feel that and it's a lot. Um, but that's the only way we can survive this. But we will. We will survive it, and we will get better. And we will get through this. Um, yeah. I just remember that you're not alone. We're all in this together. Stay home. Stay safe. Take care of yourselves. Um, yeah, and I'll ask for the questions again in my Katie Morton YouTube community tab. Just stay tuned for that. Make sure of the notifications turned on. I don't, um I post in there. Probably about this, like every other week or so. So just keep an eye out. Um, thank you so much for listening and watching. I hope you're happy and healthy and safe inside. Um, and make sure do something nice for yourself. You're worth it. Okay. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Anything you ask her about your therapist or vent about your work, you can ask her about your self esteem or why you're feeling is you can ask her why break ups suck or why you hit a button, enquire all questions you boys want. Thio. Katie anything?