Wellbeing Tips for Christmas and New Year from a registered psychologist

This is a short episode revisiting some tips for wellbeing over the so-called festive season.
The Christmas and New Year period can be an emotional rollercoaster. Things like complicated family dynamics and the absence of loved ones can heighten feelings of loneliness. 
Not everyone feels happy and bright at this time of the year. In fact, Christmas is considered as one of the six most stressful life events, along with divorce, moving house and changing jobs. 
Our special guests for this episode is Belinda Ellis. Belinda is a registered psychologist, specialising in forensics and she is ermha365s Chief practice officer. 

If you need to speak to someone:

• Lifeline on 13 11 14
• 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

MORE SUPPORT
MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Free nationwide service providing 24/7 phone and online counselling to people affected by suicide
SuicideLine Victoria 1300 651 251
24/7 telehealth service that offers free professional phone and online counselling for people living in Victoria
QLife (LGBTI peer support and referral)

ermha365 provides mental health and disability support for people in Victoria and the Northern Territory. Find out more about our services at our website.

Helplines (Australia):
Lifeline 13 11 14
QLIFE 1800 184 527
13 YARN 13 92 76
Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467

ermha365 acknowledges that our work in the community takes place on the Traditional Lands of many Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples and therefore respectfully recognise their Elders, past and present, and the ongoing Custodianship of the Land and Water by all Members of these Communities.

We recognise people with lived experience who contribute to GET REAL podcast, and those who love, support and care for them. We recognise their strength, courage and unique perspective as a vital contribution so that we can learn, grow and achieve better outcomes together.

Chapters

• 0:11 Mental Health and Wellbeing During Holidays
• 5:55 Anxiety Management and Self-Care
• 9:36 Setting Boundaries and Reaching Out

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:11

Welcome to Get Real talking mental health and disability. I'm Emily Webb. We're including some content from a previous episode about wellbeing during the Christmas and New Year period. You'll hear Irma365 CEO Carenza Louis-Smith, belinda Ellis, registered psychologist, and Irma365 Chief Practice Officer for Quality Safeguarding and Risk, and you'll hear from me, carenza, and I want to wish our listeners and the people special to you, a safe and restful time as we head out of 2024 and into 2025. We'll also have details in the show notes for services to contact if you are struggling over this time and want to talk to someone well, thinking about Christmas, and you know, it seems that feeling stressed in December is actually very common.

Speaker 3: 1:10

Anxiety infects three in ten of us, while a quarter of people actually feel depressed at Christmastime and just under a quarter say they've felt really, really lonely. Delinda, do these numbers surprise you at all?

Speaker 4: 1:23

I think, as much as Christmas is promoted as a joyful time of, I guess, celebration, rejuvenation, it is for many of us far far from the reality. It could be a particularly hard time, if not the hardest, especially, I guess, impacted by personal difficulties or adverse life events such as mental health trauma, loneliness, isolation, illness and the pressures of family, I think, can also act as a significant stressor with this one, as can balancing work life, family, the extra social commitment throughout that time of the year and all can be enough to lead to a range of emotions as well as physical and emotional exhaustion. For me, on a personal level, another big difficulty is the absence of family and friends who have passed. I find that incredibly, incredibly difficult at that time of the year, a new year period. I don't think I'm alone with that. I think that for many, this time of the year can lead to a sense of reflection and with that sense of reflection, I think grief can bubble to the surface and really dominate.

Speaker 3: 2:25

But thinking about that, families, when we're really talking about families and I think that's what a lot of Christmas is about well, the thing is, families can be really complicated, right, and I guess that Christmas can bring some of those issues to the forefront Arguments, sadness, trauma, regrets, lots and lots of feelings. So I'm thinking about people listening to this podcast. I'm interested what have you learned about how people can be supported when they might have complicated family relationships or be estranged from their families, sometimes by choice, sometimes not. What could you share with the people that are listening?

Speaker 4: 2:58

I think the major key to this one is boundaries, which kind of leads naturally into the next one, being self-care. It's really important to have an awareness even if it does sting at times, of the impact that our family can have on us. Once we have this awareness, it can be much, much easier to address or, if needed, even avoid any potential difficulties or tricky situations. As for the additional support, my advice is know your people and surround yourself with those who really understand you and can support you, whether that be friends or even professional supports.

Speaker 3: 3:32

And Belinda, you specialise in work as well with younger people. What if it's a younger person in the family that has that same level of anxiety or stress around that build-up? What kind of thoughts do you have that you might be able to share with our listeners today?

Speaker 4: 3:46

It comes down to an awareness and understanding triggers, whether they be that of your own triggers or that of a child. Understanding them, supporting them and encouraging really honest, transparent discussions so the child feels safe to actually say, to recognise the emotion and to talk about it.

Speaker 2: 4:03

And at the moment, the conversation about the cost of living is everywhere. It's very real. People are feeling the pinch everywhere. But you know, at Christmas in particular, we always see a lot of ads on Tally and appeals just to help people have a good Christmas, as they came up wishing tree, things like that. Financial pressures are very real and they also really impact mental health and vice versa. What are your thoughts about financial pressures, mental health I mean, you would have seen this in your work but also just any thoughts for listeners out there about trying to not feel under so much pressure for Christmas, to be a certain way, because you know, when we look at the ads it's all like a fairy tale. When, let's face it, christmas Day is often not like that.

Speaker 4: 4:49

I agree, em. I think it is so easy to be lured into the gift buying guilt or the entertainer's guilt. I think the biggest tip is, before you do think of some alternatives that could be a gifting act of kindness, for example, rather than a consumable, or if hosting, consider ways in which you can entertain that doesn't involve a huge, expensive outlay of food, much of which is likely to go to waste anyway and think about the meaning behind the act or the occasion, whether faith-based or otherwise, as opposed to the pressures that may be more related to societal expectation, guilt, even external validation.

Speaker 3: 5:25

That is so true. I remember as a kid the most exciting thing was because it was in England, obviously, so it was dark at four o'clock, right, and hanging out with our cousins and going outside and looking at all the stars and trying to see if you could spot Santa. And every year it was the family tradition we would go to my gran's house and we would go Santa spotting. You can do things that don't cost a lot of money or don't have to, and bring a plate to share, because people aren't necessarily interested in the food that you're going to put on, they're interested in the company, right? So I think those are really practical tips.

Speaker 3: 5:55

But I want to talk a bit about anxiety as well. So I mean, anxiety affects a lot of us, you know. I mean, certainly on my own mental health journey, anxiety has definitely played a part absolutely in my life, and one of the things that I've learned is that you can actually manage your anxiety yourself and you can manage it from home For people listening to us, you know, and if you're feeling anxious, maybe if anxiety is new and you've not experienced it before, what are some of the things that you can do yourself that can actually help some of those feelings?

Speaker 4: 6:24

We spoke a little bit about knowing triggers throughout the podcast. So it really is about knowing them, knowing the triggers, removing or even avoiding triggers and, where you're unable to practice, strategies that can be effective to reduce the symptoms of anxiety. So, whether that be walks, mindfulness or meditation, good diet cannot be underestimated. Absence of substances, maintaining regular appointments with professionals A lot of people find journaling really really helpful. Of course, there's compliance with medications if they're prescribed and if all else fails, reach out to a professional. So reach out to a professional when anxiety or depression or any other unwanted emotion is getting away from you. Interventions really vary and can be incredibly effective, and I think it's really important to remember that early intervention is key. So there's no shame in asking for help, whether that is professional or otherwise, just speaking up and saying I'm struggling a little bit here. I might need some help.

Speaker 2: 7:23

You work in the professional space and sometimes you're looked at to sort things out because you know, know, you work in that space and it can sometimes be a real blurring of the line. So what do you do to care for your own well-being and mental health?

Speaker 4: 7:38

exercise is my absolute go-to and I'm very fortunate to live near a beautiful beach and beautiful bushland, which makes exercise incredibly easy, and fresh air and nature, which you know is magic for the soul, I think, and beyond that, the basics are really effective for me. So good diet, limited alcohol, good sleep, hygiene, surrounding myself with really good people and time out for quiet reflection. I think something that is really important to note is that one size does not fit all. It's a real matter of trial and error to see what strategies work for you, but there is something that's going to fit well. It just feels right. You will do a particular activity. At the end of that activity, you are going to feel a little bit more peaceful, you are going to feel a little bit more grounded and centred. So it's definitely worth persisting and trying to find your thing.

Speaker 2: 8:26

Carenza, what about you? I want to hear what you're doing, because you shared recently with the organisation and we put it out on social media about just some changes you'd made in your life.

Speaker 3: 8:36

Yeah, and it's interesting, isn't it? Because I'm listening to the conversation. I'm appalling at times. It's interesting, isn't it? Because I'm listening to the conversation, I'm appalling at times, I'm shocking. I think, yeah, what am I doing in terms of taking care of my own mental health? Look, I love the gym, there's no doubt.

Speaker 3: 8:49

But for me, I have to find space to silence my mind, because it doesn't stop. It can just keep going and going and going and my thoughts will keep going and I'll keep dreaming about different things. So for me, it's about how do I find those quiet moments in that quiet space? So very recently I've actually been physically making myself leave home and go to my gym and do some meditation classes, and the impact is phenomenal. It's very different actually to doing it myself at home because I just go oh, no time today, no time tonight. You know, I've set alarms on my watch, all of those things. So I've set alarms on my watch, all of those things. So for me, it's actually about making myself do things. The other thing I love and I never have enough time to do it, but it's to pick up a book and read and just to have that beautiful moment of escapism which is purely completely self-indulgent time for me, so I find those things really nice. Any final thoughts?

Speaker 4: 9:38

Yeah, mine would be know your boundaries and celebrate them. I think that's a big one. Also, for those who are fortunate enough not to be spending Christmas alone or who may not have some of the difficulties that we've spoken about this morning, it can be great to look around and see if there's people who you know who may find this time difficult, and reaching out to them it really could make all the difference.

Speaker 1: 10:01

You've been listening to Get Real talking mental health and disability, brought to you by the team at Irma 365. Get Real is produced and presented by Emily Webb, with Corenza Louis-Smith and special guests. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.