Ep 329: Coping with the Two-Week Wait After Embryo Transfer

 Fertility Docs Uncensored Today’s episode of Fertility Docs Uncensored is hosted by Dr. Carrie Bedient from the Fertility Center of Las Vegas, Dr. Susan Hudson from Texas Fertility Center, and Dr. Abby Eblen from Nashville Fertility Center. In this episode, the doctors are joined by reproductive therapist and IVF in Your Pocket host Alexandria Geary-Stock, LCSW, to discuss one of the most emotionally challenging parts of fertility treatment: the two-week wait for pregnancy results after the embryo transfer. Together, they explore why this period feels uniquely stressful compared to other stages of IVF and how both patients and their partners can navigate the uncertainty with practical coping strategies and emotional support. What can patients do during the two-week wait after an embryo transfer to manage anxiety and uncertainty? Why is the two-week wait often harder than waiting for egg retrieval results, embryo development, or genetic testing outcomes? Alexandria Geary-Stock shares tools, such as grounding techniques and personalized, helpful distractions, to get through this challenging time. She highlights the importance of identifying what brings comfort, whether staying busy, engaging in enjoyable activities, or practicing yoga, to reduce stress. Should you take a home pregnancy test during the two-week wait or wait for official results? The discussion explores how different approaches work for different personalities. How can partners cope with the stress of infertility and support each other effectively? This episode emphasizes vulnerability, communication, and recognizing that both partners experience anxiety. Listeners will also hear how support groups can be helpful, as well as when they may become overwhelming or counterproductive. A powerful mantra shared in this episode: “We don’t have all the answers until we have the answers.” This podcast was sponsored by the Fertility Center of Illinois-Milwaukee. 

Transcript

Susan Hudson (00:01)

You're listening to the Fertility Docs Uncensored podcast, featuring insight on all things fertility from some of the top rated doctors around America. Whether you're struggling to conceive or just planning for your future family, we're here to guide you every step of the way.

Carrie Bedient MD (00:22)

Hello and welcome to another episode of Fertility Docs Uncensored. I am one of your hosts, Dr. Carrie Bedient from the Fertility Center of Las Vegas, joined by my two busy, bouncy, babylicious co-hosts, Dr. Susan Hudson from Texas Fertility Center and Dr. Abby Eblen from Nashville Fertility Center.

Abby Eblen MD (00:43)

Hey everybody.

Carrie Bedient MD (00:45)

And we are joined today by Alexandra Geary-Stock, who's a reproductive therapist and host of the podcast, IVF in Your Pocket. Welcome.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (00:53)

Thank you so much for having me.

Carrie Bedient MD (00:55)

And lest you feel left out, are also entirely babylicious as well.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (00:59)

Thank you. ⁓

Carrie Bedient MD (01:04)

Because you're hanging out with us, that means automatically you must be babetastic. I don't even know what that means. But so you're in San Francisco, is that right?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (01:14)

I am, yeah, I have a private practice here. I'm actually in my office now in Lower Pacific Heights in San Francisco.

Susan Hudson MD (01:22)

Fantastic. How long have you been in the San Francisco area?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (01:27)

Two decades at least, yeah. So I've been here. I'm so lucky to call this home and I've been in my practice now for a decade. So it's just such an amazing place.

Abby Eblen MD (01:35)

Wow, that's awesome.

Carrie Bedient MD (01:38)

What do you like about San Francisco?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (01:41)

I mean it's so beautiful here and we have an incredible food scene and an even better coffee scene. Unfortunately living here has made me a really bit, a little bit of a coffee snob I have to say. Just because there's so many good options. There's so many good options around even in my general vicinity of my office you can get just so many different options and it's just an incredible place to be a coffee lover.

Abby Eblen MD (02:10)

What makes really good? What's something that other places don't have that San Francisco has that makes coffee really good?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (02:17)

Well, I think a variety of flavors and the specialty drinks, but definitely it is strong. It is really, really strong coffee. And that's good because you're paying for it. You're paying quite a bit for a cup of coffee around here. So yeah, it's good that it is worth it.

Carrie Bedient MD (02:39)

So what do you like to drink? Do you drink the really frou frou drinks or do you drink coffee, black, no cream, no sugar, nothing?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (02:47)

So I do like the really froufy, sugary drinks. My favorite is a caramel latte. It's so good. And they just put a hint of caramel, so it's really subtle. It's not overpowering. So if you're ever in the Bay Area, make sure you check out either some matcha, because that's a new thing now, or the coffee scene here, for sure.

Susan Hudson MD (03:08)

So are you one of those people who can smell different beans and it's almost like wine tasting where you get different notes and flavors or are you that good?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (03:20)

Yeah, I'm that good. Actually there's a new place that just opened not too far from my office where you can actually go and smell. You squeeze the bean and they come out and you get a bean sample. It's amazing. It's very high tech.

Abby Eblen MD (03:33)

See, I would think something like this would exist maybe in Seattle, but not in San Francisco, but hey.

Susan Hudson MD (03:41)

I think it's still that kind of climate. So I think it feeds into the hot drink show.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (03:45)

Yeah. Exactly.

Carrie Bedient MD (03:47)

Well, you have all of your patients coming in, they know to bribe you if they're running a few minutes late to at least bring some coffee with them so that...

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (03:58)

Yes, yeah, and often they're coming in with it and it's like very tempting, I see them over with their coffee drink on our table here, so it's nice.

Abby Eblen MD (04:08)

So I'll be coming out your way soon, so tell me where I should get coffee at when I'm in San Francisco.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (04:13)

Okay, a lot of obviously great places, but my favorite is probably Beannery. And it's actually not in my neighborhood where my office is, but there's a few different locations and it's really nice because it's kind of like an old school coffee vibe feel like you go in and people know your name and it feels really special. It's really narrow and small. If you're going to sit down at a table, you're really close to your neighbor.

So it's a really, and the coffee of course is amazing, very, very strong. So hopefully you like your coffee strong.

Abby Eblen MD (04:46)

I will when I'm there.

Carrie Bedient MD (04:49)

You'll be awake the entire trip. You will not sleep at all. We'll just see Abby bouncing around San Francisco.

Abby Eblen MD (04:49)

I'll be wide awake.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (04:54)

Yes!

Susan Hudson MD (04:56)

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Carrie Bedient MD (06:03)

All right. So Susan, do we have a question for today?

Susan Hudson MD (06:09)

I do. Our question for today is, we went through IVF and had eight PGT-A tested embryos. Our first transfer resulted in our son in November of 2025. I have PCOS, a mild autoimmune disorder, and had a caesarian birth. My fertility doctor is okay with doing a second transfer anytime nine months postpartum. We want two more kids very close together, but want to reduce the risk of losing embryos.

How does transfer so soon postpartum impact likelihood of success? Why do I have to stop breastfeeding two months before the transfer? Thanks.

Abby Eblen MD (06:45)

The breastfeeding part, two months before transfer, generally people can certainly get pregnant when they're breastfeeding, but when you have these very few golden embryos, we wanna do everything we can to make sure that everything goes well. that includes making sure your uterine cavity looks good, making sure your lab tests are good, but also making sure that you're not breastfeeding because sometimes prolactin, the hormone that's secreted by breast milk, can ultimately have a negative impact on the endometrial lining and just make it more difficult for you to get pregnant. We really want to do everything we can to optimize your chances. Definitely want you to quit breastfeeding for sure.

Susan Hudson MD (07:23)

If you're doing any type of hormonal supplementation for your embryo transfer, realize that those hormones you're taking are going to get passed along in the breast milk.

I would not transfer at nine months after a C-section. I require my patients to wait until one year for the uterine scar to heal in its entirety. Also know that if you have pregnancies more closely spaced together than a year, there's also potentially an increased risk of certain conditions like autism. So I think that your doctor's actually being more judicious than I would personally be. What about you ladies?

Carrie Bedient MD (08:09)

I typically would do the same as you, Susan. I make my C-section patients wait at least a year. Vaginal delivery can go earlier because they get the same kind of scar issues, but would make them wait a year. And when you've got short interval pregnancies like that, all of the complications go up. And it's not a massive.

Susan Hudson MD (08:28)

Complications like preeclampsia, preterm delivery, gestational diabetes, growth restriction, those are the things that Carrie's talking about.

Carrie Bedient MD (08:37)

Yeah, and it's not a crazy amount. Certainly people who have close interval pregnancies and two kids born in the same calendar year, the majority of them are going to be fine. But if you already have a very small human being at home, you don't want to complicate that any more than you absolutely have to in bringing home a second one. The other addition on to the breastfeeding discussion is that a lot of the medications that we give increase your estrogen.

Estrogen will decrease your prolactin. Decreased prolactin will stop you from breastfeeding. And when you make that decision, you want it to be you and baby that are making that decision, not your hormones for you, because that will lead to lot of frustration and tears that could maybe have been avoided.

All right, Alexandra, as a reproductive therapist, do you have thoughts on close interval pregnancy like this from your perspective of does it make a difference six months, nine months, a year?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (09:32)

What I can share is that at least in the Bay Area, most clinics have the exact same recommendation at least 12 months. And I actually have heard some REs say more like 18 months, honestly. There is here a real strong emphasis on at least a year. I don't know actually a clinic that would do a transfer honestly before then, at least in the Bay Area.

Carrie Bedient MD (09:58)

Yeah. Are there any psychosocial impacts on having two little people close together like that?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (10:04)

It can be very overwhelming. So In terms of everything that happens, in terms of mental health, postpartum, it's just so, so much, so many needs. Then of course, you're having your own needs of the recovery. There's a benefit, I think, emotionally to having a little bit of space.

Abby Eblen MD (10:25)

Is there an optimal space between pregnancies in a perfect world? What would be the optimal space? Or is that just an individual decision?

Carrie Bedient MD (10:32)

I don't know that medically there's necessarily an optimal one. I would think like two to three years apart, because you've got enough time to recover, but also not enough time to get out of baby mode. Because I could well imagine once you are fully out of baby mode, it is a jump into very cold water to get back into it.

But I don't know if there's other, do you guys know of any other medical or emotional components? Have there been any studies done that show that?

Susan Hudson MD (11:05)

Not that I'm aware of. I do have to say I was personally lectured on child spacing with my second and third pregnancies, which I thought was a very interesting time to be lectured on child spacing because that that ship had already sailed.

Carrie Bedient MD (11:20)

Yeah.

Okay, so while we're talking about all of the stuff while you are already pregnant and postpartum, there's another super critical time period that all of our patients just agonize their way through, which is the two-week wait in between getting your transfer or getting your IUI or getting the positive ovulation predictor kit and waiting to take the pregnancy test to see what the result is.

Alexandra, how do you counsel your patients as they are approaching all of the waiting that occurs, just starting off in general, because fertility treatment is a lot of hurry up and wait.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (12:01)

Absolutely. Yeah, the two week wait is so difficult. I think for a lot of my patients, they come in and they're a little bit thrown off by how difficult that time period is. I think for a lot of them, once they get to transfer, they're like, okay, great, it's done. We did it. We got through the embryo development. We got through the attrition.

So transfer came, it was a quick procedure. We are good to go. Hopefully we have some really good news. And they don't really expect the agony and just how long those days are usually. We're looking at 10 days depending on the clinic when there's gonna be the start of the beta draws. But it hits people unexpectedly.

I do a lot of normalizing that this is common, like it's so common. It's probably one of the most common experiences on the IVF journey for this to be honestly just pure excruciating waiting that starts to really mess with people's minds. They start really spiraling and wondering, okay, what's that symptom? What do I make of that? What does that mean?

Getting really hyper vigilant and starting to get a little bit almost paranoid about, my gosh, if I do this, it means I'm not going to be pregnant. It's really about slowing down and coming up with specific tools. I talk about this in our recent podcast episode on IVF in Your Pocket, Your Waiting Room Companion, where it's really important to go into the two week wait prepared.

So you do a lot of preparing for IVF physically and it's really important, think emotionally to prepare for this really excruciating time.

Susan Hudson MD (13:46)

What some of the tools that you recommend for somebody as they are about to enter into the two-week wait?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (13:53)

First off is getting really clear from your clinic when the beta is going to be. Because it's at least in the Bay Area, different clinics operate differently. Some people will think, oh, it's going to be an eight day wait. And it's actually like 14 day. That's really long. And so getting informed first and knowing transfer day doesn't count as day one, that kind of stuff.

Trying to decide whether you're going to do a home pregnancy test is good to try to sort out with yourself and if you're on the journey with a partner with your partner and going in then with some mantras. It depends on the person what mantra is going to work. But one that I think is really helpful is we don't have all the answers until we have the answers. No matter what symptom is coming up or what you honestly see on that home pregnancy test, you still don't have all the information until you have all the information with those series of beta draws. And so that's a really helpful mantra, coping statement to keep telling yourself, as well as getting a very robust distraction list and not general, not like, I'm going to read this book, very, very specific.

I'm going to binge this series. I'm going to talk to this friend. I'm going to do some gentle yoga, really clear so that you are distracted. That tends to be the most helpful.

Abby Eblen MD (15:21)

So Alexandra, are there specific things that you recommend like thought journaling or mindfulness activities or anything more specific like that or is it just unique to the couple?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (15:31)

I think it so depends on what's going to be distracting for the couple or the person going through the two-week wait, because one activity doesn't necessarily work for, it's not generic, I don't think. I do recommend often some of the meditations, even though they're not IVF specific, from something like the Calm app or the Insight app.

Those can be really helpful just to relax and let the tension go from your body and get connected to your body in a way where you're not being hypervigilant. But that tool maybe makes someone spin out even more. It's really important. That's why it's so important to plan emotionally before you go into the two week wait. What distractions work for you?

Susan Hudson MD (16:16)

So I'm hearing from you, staying busy and doing things you enjoy is a very important thing to do during this time period and being very intentional about that. Is that a good?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (16:30)

Absolutely. Yes. Yes. And really under…

Susan Hudson MD (16:32)

So it's not the time to ask your doctor for a note to stay home from work and not do anything.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (16:38)

Right, I'm sure all of you maybe have gotten some of these messages maybe every other hour, right? My gosh, I'm feeling this. What does this mean? Yes, not particularly helpful. Of course, there's such a pull to do that. There's such a pull and it's so understandable, but that usually thinking about it isn't that helpful. And as a therapist, I almost never say, you should really try to escape in these kinds of ways. We're really trying to move towards our feelings, but this is one when it's a little different. It is a good time to get completely distracted and not kind of, yeah, fixated on whatever your body is doing in that moment.

Susan Hudson (17:21)

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Carrie Bedient MD (17:50)

What do you think makes this wait so much worse than waiting for your PGT results or waiting to see the embryos, if they develop or not, those types of things, waiting to start treatment? Why is it that this wait is just so much more than those others?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (18:08)

I think that this is in some ways, I would say, the most high stakes wait. It's either going to be a yes or no. And I feel with PGT, you could have a, okay, there's a couple normals to work with and some that are, it's like, this one feels like the most high stakes. And I also think it's people aren't expecting at least what I've experienced from my practice, they don't expect this to be as difficult. They really feel like, wait, I did a transfer, so I'm good now. I think it takes them maybe by surprise. The kind of shock of it, I think, also makes it difficult.

Abby Eblen MD (18:47)

So as you work with them, you sort of in this two week wait, do you sort of start to prepare for, okay, it could go this way or it could go that way? I've had some patients who've just been like, if I don't have a positive pregnancy test, I just, I don't know what I'm going to do. Is it helpful to start talking about that at this point or do you wait until they actually have the results?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (19:07)

I usually wait actually until they have the results and just sit with them in the like deep unpleasant uncertainty is what we're really holding. I actually don't think this is a great time to start getting into planning. And unlike other parts of the IVF journey, I think it's just a time to really embrace that this is uncertain. There's just so much uncertainty right now.

And it might not be the result you're hoping for. And then we can process those feelings when we come to that.

Susan Hudson MD (19:39)

What are some things that partners can be aware of or help with during this time frame?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (19:47)

Yeah, well, I think this one's such a good question because, partners are also in this. And I think we can forget about the partner who's not going through the procedures as much, but they have their own version of, honestly, anxiety. It's really important for the couple and supporting the couple to acknowledge that.

This wait is likely just as hard for the partner and it might be hard for the partner to express that because the partner often, not always, but often feels a little bit weary of sharing their experience because they're seeing their partner, the person going through the physical process in so much overwhelm and often pain. It makes it harder for them to voice their experience. It's really helpful for the partner and the couple to give space to what they're experiencing and then for them to jointly address that. So do they come up with a distraction list together? Is one partner's distraction list looking different than the others? Certainly their mantras, what they're telling themselves might be different.

Yeah, and so I think it's just, I think the most helpful thing a partner can do is be vulnerable about their experience, because I think it can really help validate the person who is going through the physical process.

Carrie Bedient MD (21:06)

What is it that you think makes the uncertainty so much worse than, for example, the physical pain that someone's going through post-retrieval? Why is it that uncertainty is so much harder to deal with?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (21:20)

Uncertainty is one of these experiences. I think that we don't like as humans. I see this coming up, not just of people I work with in my practice or going through IVF. It's pretty much a common experience. We like control. ⁓ Even though there's parts of the journey physically that are extremely uncomfortable, at least we have a plan.

We know we're going to give ourselves the injections or whatever it is. There's a guide. I know how to do it. I don't like it, but I know how to do it with the uncertainty. There's just kind of nothing to grab onto.

Abby Eblen MD (21:53)

And I think sometimes too, if people can do something, they feel like they're working towards something and that they're participating and that it's going to give them a better chance. And when you're just sitting there going, is the embryo going to implant or not? You just, you don't know. Can't do anything.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (22:10)

Yeah, totally.

Susan Hudson MD (22:11)

You mentioned taking home pregnancy tests. How do you find that being potentially beneficial or not beneficial during this time period?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (22:20)

Yeah, it's such a good question. I just put out an episode earlier this week on should I test or not? On my podcast. I think you really have to do an assessment, you and your partner about are we the type of people who like solid, clear, concrete numbers? Or do we need just a little bit of information knowing that we're going to tell ourselves this isn't the whole picture.

And so I think you really have to ask yourself these kinds of questions. And of course, again, being informed. So knowing that, of course, with home pregnancy tests, there's false positives and there's sometimes false negatives if you're testing too early. It is a little, you just need to know that it's not the complete picture and are you okay with that? And so it's, think, crucial for...people going through the two week wait to think about what works for them in terms of a home pregnancy test. Now, there are some people I work with that want nothing to do with a home pregnancy test. They don't ever want to see a home pregnancy test again ever. Because it's been so painful through their fertility journey. They probably will not be home pregnancy test people. But then there are others who knew immediately when they start an IVF. I'm definitely doing a home pregnancy test on day two. And then you have to say, okay, you might not be getting the answer there on day two, or, are you someone who needs to wait until beta and then do a home pregnancy test so you have that test, but it's likely going to be positive because of your betas. All these questions you really have to ask yourself. Again, it's so important to prepare emotionally for this journey.

You're doing so much physically, it's crucial to prepare emotionally.

Carrie Bedient MD (24:01)

How do you advise patients to navigate when they get a positive test, but it's not a good positive in the sense of it's not a really high level that is very clearly in the normal range that we're looking for. It's one of those lower levels that you're pregnant, but the odds are really high that this is not gonna go the way that we want. And they end up sitting in that uncertainty for longer. How do you counsel those patients? What do you tell them to do?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (24:27)

Well, it's excruciating, honestly. Because I don't have the answer. We don't have the answer yet until we get more blood draws and more factual concrete information. So it's more of just validating how awful this is. This is just the worst, I think, one of the worst emotional experiences because you have that glimmer of hope and then it's not complete joy yet.

And maybe actually is gonna be quite disappointing. It's just really sitting with the disappointment. Cuz they're already at that point, I think for people there's been a disappointment. Even if it turns out okay, it wasn't the high number and yes, pregnant that they were hoping. And they're already on a roller coaster at that point.

Abby Eblen MD (25:14)

How do mantras play into this? You said it's unique to each partner, each person has their own mantra. So are mantras useful at times when you're at a low point or do you... what advice do you give them about how to use a mantra?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (25:28)

Yeah, it's usually at a low point or in a point of uncertainty, a way to really help the anxiety from, taking you into a complete catastrophe. I love the mantra and it's unique to each person. We call them more clinical coping statements.

Whatever what helps you to know that this is a difficult moment and that this difficult moment will pass. What helps you to know that you only have a slice of the picture right now in the two week wait with a home pregnancy test or you might not have any information at all for the next 10 days? Maybe that's I've done what I can. This is out of my hands.

I've given it all that I can and now the rest is not up to me. It just really helps, I think, keep things in perspective.

Abby Eblen MD (26:21)

I just had a revelation there when you were talking. I have a mantra too and I never really thought about it as a mantra, but sometimes when I do a transfer for example, and I just so want this patient to be pregnant, I want all my patients to be pregnant, but particularly somebody that's had a really hard time of it. And if you say the transfer doesn't go great or the results are bad, it always makes me feel terrible. And I always say to myself, all I can do is do my best, that's all can do. That's my mantra.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (26:48)

That's a great one. Yeah, so yeah, it's hopeful. I think this can be really helpful.

Carrie Bedient MD (26:54)

How do you approach or how would you suggest that we approach or partners approach patients who have essentially promised a really extreme reaction in whatever direction, usually the ones that we're all worried about as if it's a negative test and they really have their hopes set high on it, whether those hopes are realistic or not. How do all of us best manage those patients who are maybe more emotionally flexible, strong, vehement? There's any number of descriptions here, but people who have promised a strong reaction, how do we navigate that and how do partners navigate that in particular?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (27:26)

Yeah, I mean, I think it is really about validating where they're coming from. I don't know if you're meaning that they're expecting maybe something disappointing or they're really hoping for a positive outcome because they've been through so much. But I think it's validating that they've been through a lot. Validating that this is really hard.

Validating that's likely not what they envisioned for building their family. And we don't know until we have all the information. There's no way they're going to know, there's no way you're going to know. And just being really real about that. I think that can feel relieving. if you as providers can tolerate uncertainty.

And you as providers can tolerate disappointing news. Just your ability to tolerate that, I think, does relieve patients knowing they have a sense that you can manage difficult things emotionally.

Carrie Bedient MD (28:32)

What do you do when you're a partner and you can see that your loved one is really struggling and you think that they would really benefit by seeing a doctor, seeing a therapist, starting meds, but you don't know the words to actually verbalize that that will be potentially taken okay? What words, what phrasing do you use to start that conversation?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (28:58)

Yeah, this is such a good question. ultimately, as you probably know, someone has to be ready to accept support, but I like the word support and framing it as I really think you could benefit. Not like, you need, you're so desperately needy, more like I think you could benefit from some extra support or from like maybe chatting with someone. We don't have to make it all serious and deep.

This is like some chatting with someone who kind of knows what this is like and seeing, if that works.

Carrie Bedient MD (29:31)

Do you find that people tend to do better when they are chatting with a support person, even if it's just a group of other patients going through infertility, whether it's in person or online? Do you find that people do better with one or the other? Is the anonymenity of online helpful? Is it better to see a real person face to face and find an actual local support group? What tends to work best for most people?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (29:58)

I think honestly both. So I think if you're able to do an online support or you're in a group chat, like we have some awesome support groups, peer run support groups with Resolve. Resolve has local chapters of support groups. That is incredible. It's an incredible resource. They don't meet that often. And a lot of the online support doesn't meet that frequently. So if you're doing that, and resolve groups, by the way, are free. If you're doing that and you're meeting with a couple's reproductive health therapist or you're in your individual work with an individual reproductive health therapist or therapist, that's great. I think all the support you can get during this time. The more support, the better.

Carrie Bedient MD (30:42)

How do you stay balanced? And I see this a lot with patients where they'll say, I'm on this Facebook group, or I follow this person on TikTok, or whatever social media it may be. And you can tell they're falling into a really toxic pattern that as a physician, can see it, or as a partner, you can see it. But how do you gently steer away from, hey, that's probably not real real great for you right now. How do we gently move away from that?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (31:11)

Yeah, this comes up all the time. I think it's really refocusing back on where are you getting support that feels good? Because sometimes that can start to not feel good as I'm sure you guys have seen with your patients. It just becomes obsessive. I gotta try this, I didn't do this, la la la la, this, la la la, my gosh, they did this. And they said if they stand on their head and they eat a peanut butter jelly sandwich, this is good. And it just gets, it doesn't feel good.

And it gets kind of obsessive. Again, this is so understandable when things are so fraught. And I think the question is is that helping you? Is this serving you? Or is it making you spin out? And what is your true self-care? It's definitely something that feels good and feels grounded.

Susan Hudson MD (31:55)

I really appreciate what you talked about earlier about making a list and being very specific of, these are things that I'm going to turn to. It's so easy to grab our phone and just be swiping through, Tik Tok and listening to scrolling and influencer after influencer telling you what they think is the best thing. And granted there's, there's a lot of good advice out there.

Carrie Bedient MD (32:10)

Doom scrolling.

Susan Hudson MD (32:23)

But there's also, as you mentioned, there's a lot of negativity and generally, mean, unfortunately, the more negative people are, the more loud they tend to be. And it's unfortunate in our world that that's the truth. But being very intentional on if you're on your device, if you're part of these groups, really having your filter of is this actually good, healthy input for me or maybe my heart and soul and mind need to be directed elsewhere.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (32:56)

Yeah, totally, really well said.

Abby Eblen MD (32:59)

Patients learn or teach themselves or acquire the ability to be resilient because I found over the years the patients who ultimately get pregnant oftentimes are the patients who just keep coming back for more no matter what happens they're like okay what's the next thing that we do.

Carrie Bedient MD (33:14)

Are there any physical moves that you recommend or find helpful while people are in the wait of, I don't know, standing on your head upside down, balancing the peanut butter sandwich on your big toe of the left foot? Is there any physical anything that people can do? Because of course we've always told them most of the time we're taking away the really intense exercise that so many of our patients love and use as a stress relief.

And so what are other physical things that they can do that their doc's not going to fuss at them about, but you find helpful?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (33:47)

I think some yoga postures are fantastic and you don't need to be practicing yoga for a hundred years in order to do this at all. These are simple restorative yoga poses. like butterfly child's pose. I absolutely love legs up the wall. It is super calming and restorative and most anyone can do that.

And so these are just, think, really calming, simple exercises that calm the nervous system.

Carrie Bedient MD (34:20)

Does legs against the wall? Is that as simple as it sounds where you just shimmy your butt against the wall, lay back on the floor and shoot your legs up the wall, leaving footprints on the pretty clean paint.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (34:30)

Yes, that is it! That is exactly it. You got it.

Susan Hudson MD (34:35)

I was envisioning this as we were talking. I like, hmm, I might need to try that after this.

Abby Eblen MD (34:39)

Ha ha ha.

Carrie Bedient MD (34:40)

I was thinking about it too, going like, I probably ought not do that in my office, which actually has nice paint for once, unlike my house, which is loved and lived in. All right, any other tips or suggestions that we should be thinking about or passing along to our patients and our listeners?

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (34:44)

Just like honoring, as I'm sure you already do, how difficult this journey is and the courage it takes to be on this journey. It takes tremendous courage.

Susan Hudson MD (35:08)

Things you go through. A diagnosis of infertility is as devastating as a diagnosis of cancer and that's the reason we're all here is to help support you during those journeys.

Carrie Bedient MD (35:20)

Without a doubt. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. We've had Alexandra Geary-Stock, who's a reproductive therapist and host of the podcast, IVF in Your Pocket. Thank you so much for coming and hanging out with us today. We appreciate you very much.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (35:21)

Absolutely.

Abby Eblen MD (35:22)

Absolutely.

Alexandra Geary-Stock, LCSW (35:36)

Thank you for having me.

Carrie Bedient MD (35:38)

And to our audience, thank you so much for listening. Please subscribe to Apple Podcasts to have next Tuesday's episode pop up automatically for you. Be sure to subscribe to YouTube. That really helps us spread reliable information and help as many people as possible.

Susan Hudson MD (35:52)

Visit fertilitydocsuncensored.com to submit questions and sign up for our email list. Pick up your copy of the IVF Blueprint today at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your favorite bookstore. Check out our Instagram and TikTok for quick hits of fertility tips between weekly episodes.

Abby Eblen MD (36:09)

And as always, this podcast is intended for entertainment. It's not a substitute for medical advice from your own physician. Subscribe, sign up for emails, and we'll talk to you soon.

Susan Hudson MD (36:18)

Bye!