Summer Remix Part 4: Testimony

Join us at Salt & Light Church as we continue our summer remix series. This week we get the pleasure of hearing a deep testimony from one of our members Pat. Pat shares the struggles of his life that lead him to the Lord and the impact that his relationship with Christ continues to have.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

Let's go. He's gonna preach. All right. I know we just shared a bunch about camp testimonies and like what God did. A testimony is literally just what God has done for you. And everyone's got a testimony. Some of you in this room might be like, well, I was raised in church and I had a great childhood, so I don't really have a testimony. That's not true. God did a lot through that. So whether your testimony involves being in church your whole life by God's grace, amazing, great for you, or whether your testimony involves walking some windy roads before you got to Jesus, that's all a testimony. And so this morning we get to hear from one of our staff members, Pat Talbot, who's gonna talk to us about his testimony. And it's incredible because Pat and Heather walked in here, I don't know, four years ago, something like that. Okay. Five? Five years ago? Five years ago. Um, and they were new little baby Christians. And God has done so much in their lives at this point. And so I'm just excited to hear. Would you just welcome Pat this morning to share with us?

SPEAKER_02 1:10

Thank you, Gina. Good morning. I think the last time I was up here uh for ministry time, I talked about the importance of testimony. And how important it is to share. God's provided. Um, this is my second opportunity I've had to share my testimony um in the last month. So um super excited to share it this morning. Um, you all know that it can be a little bit emotional. So this may be 35 minutes of me crying, but you should be able to get the gist of it. So um I'm gonna pray real quick and then we'll get on with it. Father God, we thank you for your relentlessness of chasing us. Father God, you always provide even when we may not be in the right state. You always provide for us, you always follow us, Lord. And as I give this testimony this morning, Lord, um it may be about where I came from, but ultimately, Father God, it's about your love. Your love for us, your patience for us, your understanding and your grace, Lord. This testimony is yours, and I'm just a part of it. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. As I as Jeremiah 29, 11 says, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not harm you, plans to give you hope in a future. In my addiction, I had no hope. I had no future. Because I didn't have God. God saved me from myself. God gave me hope. God gave me a future. Not having hope day after day is painful. I had no hope I was gonna recover. I had no hope I was gonna be here today. But God. But God. God gave that all back to me in one minute. Hello, my name is Pat. I'm a faithful believer in Jesus Christ, and I struggle with alcohol. I was born September 19th, 1967, to my parents Lee and Cheryl. Although they were not my biological parents, they adopted me before I was born. I was their second child. My older sister, who is six years older than me, was also adopted. My mother couldn't have children because she was battling MS. Sadly, she passed away three years after I was adopted due to complications from the disease. I have no real memories of her, only pictures. And sometimes it makes me sad that I don't remember being with her. She never really got over it. My dad married, remarried two years ago, later to my mom. She adopted me shortly after they got married, so I've been adopted twice. She had four sons of her own. When she married my dad, my family went from three to eight in the blink of an eye. I was now the youngest of six siblings. I was too young to understand all the dynamics of a blended family, so the transition for me was fine. At that time, we lived in Pyolup. My dad worked for my grandpa at the restaurant he owned on River Road, building steer to this day. It was called Ivans. Some of my fondest early childhood memories were when we were down there as a family helping out. My mom worked for the Pialp School District. We were an average family, except we didn't go to church. About a year later, my granddad sold the restaurant and retired. My mom and dad built a house on 17 acres in Carbonato, where we lived for the next four years. My dad commuted to Seattle for work and was gone a lot while my mom worked for White River School District. That is where we began to grow into a family. Being the youngest had its perks, especially with four older brothers. They mostly looked out for me, and none of them had picked on me because my oldest brother John would not allow it. When not in school, you can find me in the woods playing with my best friend Jack. There was such a large age difference between me and all my brothers that I never really played with them. For such a large family, I spent a lot of time alone in the woods. I didn't even realize that my parents used alcohol until I was about seven or eight. But once I noticed it, it seemed like a common thing for them to do. It was always around, and they were always drinking. They would even let my two older brothers have a few beers on the weekend. And I remember one time my oldest brother let me try some beer, and I thought it was the worst-tasting stuff ever. But my parents were never mean or neglectful when they drank. I didn't know the difference or the effect of it. My granddad passed away when I was 10, and we moved back to Pyallop to be closer to my grandma. It was shortly after that my whole life seemed to change. My sister moved in with my grandparents because my mom and her just never connected, and there was always conflict between them. My oldest, two oldest brothers joined the military, and now there were three. That lasted about a year, and my last two brothers moved in with their biological father. Within two years, our family from eight went to three. Everyone was gone except for me. I was now 12 and an only child in the house. Both my parents now worked in Seattle, and it was my responsibility to get myself up and out of the house each day for school. They both worked long hours, and it was their routine to stop downtown to have drinks with friends before coming home. Most weeknights I would fix myself dinner and then go to bed before ever seeing them. At the close of my sixth grade year, I received two honors that year. One for most improved student of the year and one for student of the year. My parents never made it to the presentations. But I got to take the trophies home to show my parents. That night I waited up so I could show them the trophies, but fell asleep before they made it home. I was hurt, frustrated, and mad at my parents. But never had the courage to tell them. I just figured it was easier that way. And this was the beginning of me shutting down and snuffing my feelings. This pattern of not sh. It'd be great if I could see. This pattern of not showing up continued all the way into high school. They never attended my sporting events, even when I went to state and tracked two years in a row. They just didn't show up. It was now summer. I had responsibilities around the house before I could hang out with friends. My parents were on the same schedule. Nothing changed here. Home alone one day I was cleaning the kitchen up and wiping down the counters. I had to move liquor bottles out of the way at that moment. And at that moment I tried a little. I poured myself some of my dad's whiskey and drank it. I didn't like the taste of it and definitely didn't like the burn of it. But after it settled in, I definitely like how it made me feel. It was like my brain was taking a nap. I wasn't thinking about anything, just enjoying the moment. This was the beginning of a 40-year addiction. Once I turned 16 and got a job, the usage got more frequent. I worked five nights a week and had plenty of people to buy me alcohol. I'd clock out about 11 and start drinking until 1 and then go home. Do whatever homework I had, then go to bed. I drank enough to take the edge off and have my brain take a nap. I like the feeling of having no feelings. My relationship with my parents started to change about this time, and I'm sure it's because of my consumption. It also made me less tolerable of them. I had raised myself for the fat last four years and didn't want to listen to anything they had to say. My usage came to a head when I turned 18. And one and off one day, I drank more than I should. On the way home, I got pulled over on a DUI. My BAC was a.20. This should have been a clear sign to someone that I was in trouble. Someone, anyone. At this point, the court ordered me drug and alcohol classes and A for me to get my license back. This was my first introduction to recovery, but instead I chose to ignore it and stay in my addiction. Two years later, I married my high school girlfriend. After my DUI, she was curbing my usage. She had to live through it the past few years, and I was progressively getting worse. So I told her I would slow down. I would slow the drinking down, but wasn't ready to quit. That seemed to comfort her for a moment. A year later, she found out she was pregnant with our daughter. We had decided to wait a while before having kids, so this was a shock to both of us. She wasn't ready to have kids, but now that she was pregnant, I was ready. We were still young and progressing through life at top speed, and now we had a daughter on the way. After she was born, we had to make many adjustments in our lives, and this is where the bottom fell out. Everything was fine at first, and we were juggling work. My daughter and I went back to school, but one day out of the blue, she asked for a divorce. We got married too young, and she didn't have the opportunity to grow on her own. I was devastated, devastated in losing my wife, and was so afraid of losing my baby girl. This was the worst situation possible. Again, I was alone. I immediately began to ramp up my drinking and use the divorce as an excuse. I was so mad and frustrated that she could give up so easily, but never talked to anyone about it. I just stuffed it and continued to be angry. I met my second wife while trying to get while trying to go through the divorce proceedings. My first wife, I suggest don't doing that. For some reason, it makes it a little bit more difficult. Bringing someone else into the picture does not help. In fact, it makes everything more complicated. She was also an addict, so we're both unhealthy. It made my wife very vengeful, and now my daughter was stuck in the middle. We'd spent a couple of rough years trying to get divorced, and my addiction and stubbornness just made it worse. I wanted full custody, and so did she. I knew the conflicts between her mother and I affected her, and at one point we both agreed to counseling for her and attained a guardian in lightum to help settle the dispute. I so loved my baby girl, but I was. But I was doing a more harm to her than good by not accepting the terms of the divorce. And it came time to end it for her sake. My ex-wife now had custody, but she never kept her from me. I got to see her whenever I wanted to within reason. Took us a few years for my ex-wife and I to mend all the hurt we had caused each other, but we're super close to this day. About a year after my first marriage was dissolved. She had two boys and our house was full. We were drinking way too much and living paycheck to paycheck when my work asked me to move to Kodiak, Alaska to improve some operational deficiencies. We fit into the Alaska community well and soon were surrounded by friends who had similar addictions. We spent all of our time off with them. We were on Kodiak for almost a year when we found out she was pregnant. This time it was planned, so no surprise. My son was born just a few days before my job transfer to Yakima. My wife really didn't want to leave Alaska, and this caused some resentments towards me. Once we got to Yakima, it was the same scenario. Drinking way too much, surrounded by people in addiction and living paycheck to paycheck. One day our van went out and we needed a new car. Her dad had one in Arizona for us, but I had to fly down, pick it up, and drive it back. I drank all the way back from Arizona, and when I entered Goldendale, I was pulled over and arrested for my second DUI. When it came to my court date, my charges were deferred. My charges were deferred, and I needed to complete at least 14 days of inpatient treatment. So I went to Sundown Ranch. Never really took the treatment seriously. I just went through the motions and knew when I got out I would just go back to drinking at some point. I finished the treatment and tried to stay sober. I was short, irritable with my wife, and she was getting even more resentful. Shortly after this, I got asked to go back to Alaska to help with some operational opportunities. My wife was so excited, life seemed to be okay. I finished up my outpatient, but for the first time I had to go out of town. And as soon as I as soon as I went out of town, I started my drinking back up. So now I was only drinking while out of town. The problem is that I spent half my time working out of town. My dad passed away the next year, and I was asked to be, and I asked to be relocated to be closer to my mom. And my company made it happen. I moved first, and when I did, my drinking was back to full time. I came back, uh I came back to Alaska a month later and got our son. Two months later, she sent our two other boys down. Their dad lived in the Auburn at the time, and I had a great relationship with ship with him, and I would take them to Auburn when I could to see him. Six months later, she moved down, but was only there for a month before she wanted to go back. She left the next week and took her two boys and left Cole and I behind. We never talked about divorce at the time, but it was over for sure. And at this point in my life, I was done with relationships. I just wanted my kids and no one else. Now I really tried to control the drinking, limited myself to only so many beers a night, hiding it from everyone, including my son, and I was putting on the face that I quit drinking. Her husband and I knew each other and had worked together for years. He invited me to their house for dinner, and they had two boys, and my son made friends with them quickly. I would hang out with them so the boys could play. I never drank around them when we c when we would hang out. This went on for a couple of years, and unexpectedly they got a divorce. I helped her move into her dad's house, and we still would see each other because the boys loved to play together. A year or so after I met Heather, I got called back to Alaska for work. I decided to go because that would give my son an opportunity to reconnect with his mother. Once in Alaska, Heather and I stayed in contact. I started to have more feelings for her and finally let her know how I felt. Thankfully, the feelings were reciprocated. And this started a long distance relationship between us. Although I was still married, but separated from my wife for a while now. I never filed for divorce because of the fear that she would take my son from me. This made my relationship with Heather difficult at times, especially when I was still in Alaska. She'd want to come visit, and I would tell her it was the wrong time, or give her some other excuse because I was afraid my wife would find out, and in her anger, she would try to take my son from me. That was my drunk thinking. I was never honest with her on my reasoning. This would cause me to shut Heather completely out. I would have her in my life and then shut her out. And this went on for a while, and Heather didn't even know what was going on. My son and I were living in temporary housing while I was looking for a new house. This was the first time I saw Heather when I got back. It was at a baseball game. She wasn't overly excited to see me. I'm not sure why. And that was understandable, especially at what I put her through. But at this point, we began to talk, and Heather would come and get my son while I was at work, and the three amigos were back together playing again. But the one big secret she didn't know. Was how much I drank as I was still holding it from everyone. At one point, I drank in front of her. She was surprised I drank at all, never knowing the full truth. It didn't bother her at the time, so it was like giving me full permission to drink. We took the kids camping out on the boat and just living life and having fun. All of it was surrounded by my drinking. She would bring up getting a divorce every once in a while, and I'd just make up some excuse in why I wouldn't do it. I still wasn't honest with her about the fear of losing my son. This would cause some disagreements, and I would shut down and shut her out because I couldn't tell her how I really felt. And that was the pattern that began with all of our disagreements. Our biggest disagreements usually surrounded how I treated her sons. I told her that I didn't treat them any differently, but that wasn't true. She knew it. And that built resentment towards me. I was always harder on them. I never really could express how I felt to her. I would just get angry and shut down and shut her out. That was the only emotion I knew. And the alcohol just fueled all of it. At one point she asked me to quit or at least slow down. I agreed and then immediately hid it from her. But it didn't take her too long to figure it out. Eventually she just kept uh gave up asking, and I continued to drink. She didn't even trust me anymore and was resentful of my drinking. And why would she? This went on for a while before my lifestyle wasn't conducive to her, and we took a break from each other. I was heartbroken. I truly loved her. But my addiction was more important than our relationship. I tried to slow down again, cut back on my drinking, but it never lasted. The disagreements seemed to taper off, and we were getting along, so we decided we'd try to reopen our relationship. This lasted for a short period of time, and then again the drinking continued and she had enough. We ended the relationship a second time, and I knew this was the end for sure. We decided we'd coexist in the same house until our leash ran out, and then we'd separate and go on our own separate ways. Again, I was devastated. I've never loved someone as much as I loved her, and now it was over. I filed for divorce for my ex-wife, and I think that hurt Heather even more because I didn't do it when we were together. We were living our separate lives in the same house, and it hurt my heart so badly. I never stopped loving her through all of this, and I knew at this point that I would never have a relationship with anyone else unless I quit drinking. But I knew I couldn't stop and was just resolved to being alone until my addiction took my life. One night I got home and Heather invited me to go to dinner with one of her friends at their house. But there were conditions. I could not drink because her friends were in recovery. And I agreed to go with her, but wondered to myself how she could think I that thoughtless that I would drink at someone's house who was in recovery. Then it came to me. She didn't think I was that thoughtless. She knew my addiction was that bad and I wouldn't make the right choice. So the next night we went over to their house. Amazingly, I didn't drink before we went, and of course, I wasn't drinking there. These two people were amazing with wonderful kids. That night these two people shared their story with me. I had just met them and they were sharing all of this with me. I was absolutely amazed from where they where they were at, who they became. I didn't think it was even possible. That night I left Johnny and Steph's house, and for the first time in a very long time I had hope. December 8, 2023. Started off just like any other day. I went to work, did my job, and headed home, and just like every night, I bought two 24-ounce beers and drank them on the way home. Stopped at the store to get something for dinner and, of course, two more beers before I actually got home. When I got home, I put the groceries away and went to grab a beer, but I was out. There was no beer in the refrigerator. I never ran out. I have always had beer. As an alcoholic, you never run out. You always have a plan and always have a backup plan and have a backup plan for that. But this was God. And I just began to cry. For the first time in my life, I told her I wanted to quit drinking. I'd had enough. I just couldn't do it anymore. She just held me as I cried. And in that moment. He took my addiction away as I stood in that kitchen with Heather by the power of prayer. You see, I had people praying for me and didn't even know it until later. I woke up that next morning. And haven't had a drink since. That's the power of God. Principle four, examine and confess my faults to myself, God, and someone I trust. It was the end of my first week of sobriety when Heather and I were discussing the week and how it was going. I believed God softened her heart towards me. At the same time, God rid me of my addiction. I told her I didn't know God, but believed he took it from, but believed that God took rid me of my addiction. I never went to church, wasn't raised in church, and I knew little to nothing about God at this time, but went through enough recovery to know about a higher power. God was my higher power and released me from my addiction by the power of prayer. That night she went into detail about the importance of having a relationship with our living God. She invited me to church and talked about CR. I wanted to know God. I wanted to know why God saved me from my addiction. So I went that next Sunday. I went to a church with her, and that was my first step in growing my relationship with God and knowing God's will for me. I'm still attending the same church. Haven't left. Now it's different. I get to participate in leadership. I'm part of the church council. I get to help teach the youth, help with food and usher. But my favorite act of service is when I have the opportunity to do ministry time. More importantly, I now have a community who loves and supports me. I can reach out to anyone here for anything at any time. And they will, and they help me grow my relationship with God every day. And I thank you all for that. On New Year's Eve, we went to Johnny and Steph's. I was now sober that night. They talked to me about the benefits of going to CR. I was committed to going now. First night I went to CR. I was afraid it was going to be like and nervous about my first night, but the first person I met was a gentleman named Brad, and he made me feel so welcome. In just a few minutes I spent with him, I was at ease, and I knew it was in the right place to continue my growth recovery and grow my relationship with God. At CR, I have a community that loves me and cares for me. I've learned the tools to work through my hurts, habits, and hangups and grow my relationship with God. I'm now able to communicate my feelings without shutting down. I was given the opportunity to complete the journey begins and the and the journey continues step studies. I've been co-facilitating the codependency small group with my sponsor Johnny, and now we have a new recruit, Edwin. Really can't thank Johnny and Steph for everything they've done for me. They've given me hope when I didn't have any at all. They showed me there was life after addiction, and they led me here. Bringing this community into my life. As I continue to work my recovery, God was softening Heathers and I hearts even more. We were enabled to have full-on, tough conversations without me getting angry and shutting down. We were really enjoying each other's company. And I was grateful to have her as my friend again. Over time, their relationship blossomed into a relationship again. It was amazing to me that this woman would even consider getting back after all I'd put her through. It had to be God's will. Heather and I got married 17, June 17, 2023. But this time we're putting God first, and then everything else. We still have bumps in the road. Like every other couple, but now instead of going back to old habits, we look to God to help smooth out these bumps. I'm very fortunate to have the love of my life back. And thank God every day for where we are. I truly believe it was God's will to have us together and walking this path together with Him. None of this would, none of this is possible without God. God was walking with me even in my dick, in my addiction. I just didn't notice. Matthew 19, verse 26. There's more to it than this, but with man, this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible. God's proven that in my life. I tried to do it by myself and I couldn't do it. I tried. But once God stepped in and took it over, He's made all things possible, including my relationship with him. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

Snaps addiction from them, and then empowers them by the Holy Spirit to go on the long, hard journey of recovery. For someone to be able to share their testimony, to share all the places where brokenness came into their life, where God had protected them and God is continuing to renew him. Pat, thank you for the honor of being able to walk this journey with you and with this church. Father, we thank you for what you are doing in Pat's life and in all the lives of those that call you Father. And even the ones that don't, Lord, as you've reached into his life before he even gave his life to you. Lord, thank you for the rescue that you bring us. And Lord, may we continue to lean into that each and every day. Church, I leave you with this blessing. May the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord cause his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face towards you and give you his shalom. Amen.