Humbleness is one of the most underrated virtues. That may sound old fashioned because we're often told that we need to look out for ourselves in this dog, eat dog world. This point of view suggests that we need to be aggressive or arrogant to get what we need in life. That's the very opposite of what we need. We need humility. 

When we were in our twenties I saved all my pennies and surprise my wife with a trip to New York city for our anniversary. It was our first time in the big apple, or any big city for that matter, and we were trying to experience everything we knew about the city. We walked into Saks on fifth Avenue. I went to the first rack I saw and picked up a blank T-shirt, a 100% cotton plain t-shirts, and said to my wife, I have to buy this just to say, we bought something from this famous store. However, when I pulled the tag out, I about fell over.  The price tag read $600. Let me say that again, a plain 100% cotton t-shirt was $600. I said, there's no way and carried it over to a sales lady. I said, there must be some mistake on this price tag, or maybe I don't know how to read it. She said, no, that's the price, $600. That really upset me that someone would pay $600 for a tee shirt. I said, ma'am, there has to be some kind of mistake. I can get a three pack of fruit of the loom T-shirts at Kmart for six bucks. She said, well, our shoppers are different. I said, I'd say they're different. They're idiots if they're paying $600 for t-shirts.  It really did upset me and still does thinking about it today. How arrogant does someone need to be to feel it's okay to pay that much for a tee shirt. I mean, if money means nothing to you, then go buy the three pack and give the remaining $594 to someone who needs it. There are people starving in this world and if your conscious don't bother you while you're wearing a $600 t-shirt, there's something wrong. 

I don't care what your title is, how much money you have in the bank, what kind of car you drive? How big your house is, or how famous you are. You are no more valuable than the homeless guy laying in a ditch. Let that sink in for a second. Now I'm not saying that any of us were put here to be bums. I'm talking about our value, the value that our creator gave each and every one of us.  It's not reflected by any amount of material items or status levels. See, success is not what we've done compared to others, rather success is what we've done compared to what we were created to do.

As my career grew, I was able to buy bigger houses and nicer cars. I was always excited to show dad, but without fail he was always the buzzkill. He would say, yeah, that's nice, but don't get above your raisins. Not that I ever did. He just wanted to make sure of it. Dad always wanted to see us succeed, but more importantly, he always wanted us to stay grateful and humble for everything in life. He was a very simple man. Many people say the material, things are not important, but dad didn't need to say it because it was obvious just by the way he lived. He didn't even have electric windows in his truck because he would always say, Oh, that's just something else that could break. He didn't just keep himself grounded, but he would be the first one to remind someone where they came from if he felt they were being arrogant. One time he saw a country music artist yell at a lady in the audience to shut her crying baby up. Now dad knew this singer and actually grew up with him in the Hills of Kentucky so after the show when he came, walking off stage, dad was standing at the bottom of the stairs to meet him. He said, I guess you were never a baby and never cried. The singer was stunned. Dad said, look, you may be a big star now, but you're starting to get above your raisins. And you know, that guy actually hugged dad's neck and thanked him. I guess, sometimes we all need a reminder being humble. Doesn't mean we can't have nice things. It's perfectly fine to have nice things and if we work for them, we should reward ourselves. Being humble just means always staying grateful for what we have and always caring and being kind to others. Arrogance on the other hand is having a sense of entitlement for things you haven't earned and being so conceited that you place your wants above the needs of others. 

The Bible says anyone who praises himself will be humbled and anyone who humbles himself will be praised.  Webster's dictionary defines humble as having or showing a modest or low self estimate of one's own importance. These definitions make humility seem like a negative quality, but I would argue that humility is one of the greatest qualities. In many of our greatest leaders, their opinions of themselves were low only in a sense that they realize that they were no more important than anyone else. They also understood that they were no less important than anyone else. Jesus is a great example of this. He was never afraid to fight for his right to speak for others, especially those who were poor struggling. He spoke to those in authority exactly the same way he spoke to everyone else. Another words, humility is not being a doormat and allowing people to walk all over us. It's an understanding that every human is equal and a recognizing that we are worth no more or no less than anyone else. 

For many of us humility is one of the hardest traits to develop because it has to start from a recognition that we're not always right, and that we don't always have all the answers. It also requires an acceptance of ourselves, which many of us find challenging? It is relatively easy to stay humble when were on the bottom, but as we climb the ladder and become senior more and more people will look to us for the answers. That's when it's important for us to always stay grounded and remember where we came from. Always remember as you climb a ladder, it's the rungs below you that are the most important and the higher you go, the more important they are for you to reach the top. 

Humble people are well liked and respected and their peers enjoy working with them,  their bosses love to manage them, However, if they seem too humble, they run the risk of seeming passive or insecure, and they could get passed over for opportunities because no one knows they deserve them. For example, let's say your boss congratulates you on a job well done. Your response might be, Oh, thank you, but it was all Bob. Oh sure. Bob's going to be grateful but guess who's going to get the next raise or the next cool project. Not you. It's going to be Bob, so you can stay humble, but still accept the credit for your hard work. Maybe you could say, oh thank you, and by the way Bob was a great help to me on that. You still get the credit and Bob appreciates the accolade. 

It is a fine line, but a line that's easy to walk if we always realize that everyone has equal value, including ourselves. My value is no greater than a guy scrubbing the floor of a jail cell and my value is no less than the president of the United States. 

Another key quality to humbleness is just spending time to listen to others, allowing them to express their feelings and values. It's important to remember that we're not trying to solve their problems or even answer them, just listening and responding to them as fellow human beings.  Last, but perhaps the most important key to stay in humble is always staying grateful for what we have. We need to take time every day to count our blessings and give thanks for them. It's so easy to get sucked into the negative spiral of always wanting more. Taking the time to stop and remember what we have and to be grateful for is a great way to cultivate a more humble and positive frame of mind. So look at the importance of staying humble. It's so important that it's mentioned over and over in life's rule book. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather in humility, value others above yourself, not looking to your own interest, but each of you to the interest of others, Jesus came to earth and demonstrated this in every aspect of his life, from birth to death. There is no one greater for us to look upon for the examples of the characteristics we all need in our own lives. 

Gordon Hinckley said being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others. So being humble may be old fashioned, but it is still a relevant key today for success in all that we do. What a wonderful world it would be if we were always graceful, grateful, and kind to each other. I'll end this chapter with the same line that I ended every pregame speech of every ball team I ever coached.  In all you do win with dignity and lose with grace and if you can do that, you'll always be a winner.