A Suddenly Brave Together Episode with Tina J., Asha W., & Lena W.

Hello Brave Friends! Welcome to special feature episode #261 of the Brave Together Podcast.

In this moving conversation inspired by Suddenly Brave Together, Jessica Patay sits down with several mothers to share honest reflections about caregiving, resilience, motherhood, and the transformative power of storytelling.

Together, Asha, Tina, and Lena open up about raising children with complex medical and developmental needs, the emotional realities of adapting to unexpected diagnoses, and the ways caregiving reshapes identity, relationships, and hope.

Throughout the episode, the mothers discuss grief, acceptance, fear, advocacy, and the complicated emotions that often coexist alongside deep love and connection. They also reflect on the healing that can happen when caregivers share their stories openly and realize they are not alone.

This conversation explores how children with disabilities and complex needs often become profound teachers—offering lessons about presence, compassion, emotional strength, and unconditional love.

Jessica and the guests also discuss the meaning behind the phrase “Suddenly Brave” and how bravery often looks less like confidence and more like continuing forward one moment at a time, even when life feels uncertain or overwhelming.

This episode is a beautiful reminder that there is power in vulnerability, healing in community, and hope in being witnessed by others who understand the caregiving journey.

Connect with Tina at tina@kidsrarecare.com, or find out more about her here.

Find more information about Asha here.

Find more information about Lena here. 

Find more information about Life Coach, Susanna Peace Lovell here.

Find Susanna’s book, Your True Self is Enough here.

Find our first book from We Are Brave Together, Becoming Brave Together here.

Find our second book from We Are Brave Together, Suddenly Brave Together here. 

Find FULL episodes and clips of our podcast on Youtube here.

Brave Together is the podcast for We are Brave Together, a not-for-profit organization based in the USA. The heart of We Are Brave Together is to strengthen, encourage, inspire and validate all moms of children with disabilities and other needs in their unique journeys. 

JOIN the international community of We Are Brave Together here. 

Donate to support all of We Are Brave Together's programs and offerings here. 

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Feel free to contact Jessica Patay via email: jpatay@wearebravetogether.org 

If you have any topic requests or if you would like to share a story, leave us a message here.

Please leave a review and rating today! We thank you in advance!

Disclaimer

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Brave Together Podcast, an empowering resource for the parents of children with disabilities, neurodivergence, and all unique needs.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

I think for me, brave means what comes to mind directly is standing alone in the storm. You can't explain to the world why your son is having a tantrum. You can't explain to the world what's going on. You just got to be there and deal with it. Never mind the world. So for me, brave means just standing in the storm and facing it.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Hello, brave friends. I'm Susanna Peace Lavelle, author, life coach, and advocate for disability families. And I am so honored to introduce today's special feature episode of the Brave Together Podcast. On episode number 261, host Jessica continues our conversation inspired by the book Septemberly Brave Together with several extraordinary mothers sharing their deeply personal caregiving journeys. In this particular discussion, we care from China, Tina and Lena, as the reflect of raising children with complex medical and developmental needs, navigating grief and uncertainty, and discovering resilience they never expected to meet. Together we talk about the power of storytelling, the emotional realities of caregiving, and the lessons our children teach us about courage, acceptance, love, and connection, and the lessons our children teach us about courage, acceptance, love, and connection. This episode is deeply honest and tender. It explores what it means to keep showing up even in the hardest moments, how other can transform us in unexpected ways, and why sharing our stories can help other caregivers feel less love. One of the themes that emerges from this conversation is that bravery is not about perfection. Sometimes bravery simply means standing in the reality of what is hard while continuing to love pears and we hope this episode reminds you that your story matters, your feelings are valid, and there is strength in being witnessed by the community. A quick reminder to please rate and review this podcast, share episodes with your friends, follow us on social media, and check out our episodes posted weekly on our We Are Brave Together YouTube channel. And now please enjoy this very special conversation inspired by Family Brave Together.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Hi everyone. So glad we were able to get our schedules together. Welcome, welcome to the Brave Together podcast. We have Asha and Tina and Lena from all parts of the world. And I'm so grateful that you all agreed to do this and we can figure out time zone-wise how to make this work. Thank you all, first of all, really for being a part of Suddenly Brave Together. I love this book with my whole heart and soul. And I'm so excited for it to be out in the world for new moms, moms who are newer to this journey, but also really for all of us caregiving moms. I think all caregiving parents are really going to benefit from Suddenly Brave Together. So thank you so much for being willing to put yourself out there to share your stories, to be so honest and vulnerable and just show your incredible love for your children and you know what this journey is all about. So thank you. Why don't we start? I'll call on each of you just to give like a two-minute version of your family story, your caregiving story, what made you a caregiver?

SPEAKER_03 3:51

Thank you, Jessica, for the opportunity to be part of this project. It's been amazing. And so what I'd like to say is my daughter's name is Ti Anna Jackson, but we call her Miss T. And she was Miss T before she ever left the NICU. Um, Miss T was born 30 years ago, unbelievable. She'll be 31 this year, but she immediately went into the NICU. She was born failure to thrive, not able to absorb nutrients into her system. They really told us that her quality of life would be really poor if she lived, is what the medical staff told us. We later found out a few weeks later that she was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease called trisomyate mosaium. And so that comes with intellectual disabilities, physical conditions, and all of that. But I can say today Tiana is thriving. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

Okay, well unexpected journey. My son was diagnosed with autism 22 years ago. Uh totally unexpected, totally unknown at that time what even autism was all about. He had all the features of what the diagnosis said. When the doctors just told me after they did the assessments that he has autism, my first question was, will he ever talk? Because until then he had not even said a word. And they just looked at me and said, no, he will he may never talk. And when I asked them about school, they said you might have to look for special needs schools. I felt I think like maybe the rug just pulled out of my feet. But what lies beneath is not the flow but a abyss actually. That was how deep the the punch was. But I know for a fact at that time what I thought to myself was it's okay, words are just one way of communication. I'm gonna find some way that we will connect. I'm gonna find a way that we are going to be able to, you know, communicate. That was the start of the story. End of the 22 years right now, my son is in God's mercy doing well. He's graduated, but the journey has been incredible. Thank you. Nina.

SPEAKER_05 6:28

Thank you, Jessica, for having us on the podcast and for allowing this book to be born with so much care and so much community around it. My story began almost 20 years ago. Um, my daughter is 20. And she was my firstborn, and I didn't have a mom with me anymore. She passed away from breast cancer. When she was born, there were some questions that I had about um her development, and I didn't really have anyone to turn to from um the grandmas and the aunts and the the village, you know, where we talk about having a village when you raise your children, and um a lot of us miss that. So I didn't have um that village around me, and um, but I did have a medical background. So I went to the doctors and I went into information overload. I started researching. I was um the one that took copious notes, and I could probably still find all of those binders with all the things that I discovered that I could be looking at. Um but the one thing I was missing while I was frantically paddling to figure it out, because you know, people were not willing to make predictions, and the ones that were were making predictions that were just dire and horrifying. What I wanted, what I needed in that moment is not advice, not somebody to do more research, but another mom that is 10, 15, 20 years down the road. And I asked for that from my um service providers that came into my house for speech therapy and occupational therapy, and um they weren't able to connect me with anyone because of various reasons, and this is why this project is so meaningful is that it gives someone what I was reaching for. Um my daughter was diagnosed with autism. Um she is a beautiful, thriving 20-year-old. She is learning all the things that she wants to learn. She is the star of the show, and and this bright light you can't um really. If you talk to someone who has seen my child, they know what her smile looks like, and then they say, Have you seen that smile? And everyone knows what she's doing. Um so I have two more children. Um they came two years later and four years later from um, and um here we are. I can't believe it's been so many years.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

When you all talk about your children, I can feel the warmth and love, and it's really, really palpable. It's it really, really is. And like you said, Lena, you know, you described it so, so well. I mean, this book was created because we all needed this way in the beginning of our journey when our lives suddenly shifted with our child's diagnosis. And, you know, we just want to wrap around moms and parents with hope and love and care, and I see you and support, and I've gone before you, and I'm reaching across the universe to walk with you, you know, in the pages of a book. That is that is definitely our hope. Lena, how would you answer, you know, why storytelling is such a powerful tool for mothers raising kids, you know, with complex needs?

SPEAKER_05 10:30

Wow, that's such a good question because storytelling, if you really think about it from ancient times, we didn't know how to write. In the very beginning, we didn't know how to speak yet, but the first thing that happened was this encoded information that is grounded in emotion and lived experience. That's storytelling to be people gathered and passed that along from generation to generation, and when it comes to us, we are wired to be able to receive it. And for me, being able to tell the story from the heart, and um, as someone who values um knowledge, I believe that knowledge becomes a hundred times more powerful when you combine it with lived experience and emotion because people are motivated to act on it, people are willing and able to put it into their lives instead of it just hanging out there as information.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

Did all of you find it easy to share and to write, like just to get thoughts and feelings out on paper, just to start?

SPEAKER_04 11:51

No, it was not easy. It was, I think, incredibly hard because uh perhaps we by nature tend to uh you know close up painful memories. But then what prompted us to just prompted me basically to open again to revisit that painful past was the fact of knowing that perhaps that story might inspire someone else, might give the strength and courage for someone else to keep going. That's basically so even the most painful times, I just kept telling myself, you know, this is going to help someone, let's get going.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Thank you, thank you so much for being willing. Because yes, we asked you to go back in time and relive those emotions, relive those experiences. And some of you put, you know, those in your stories, but but nevertheless, the assignment was go back and imagine that. What did you need? What did you want to hear? What do you want to share with a newer, newer mom? And so, yeah, it you had to go back. And I I can go back to the night we received the phone call from our pediatrician, just like that. I can see it. I can see Ryan in his red pajamas on my bed and going to scoop him up. And, you know, I can pull up all those emotions like that. And it's been almost 23 years. It's just thank you for being willing to go back. Tina, what do you hope that a reader feels as they're reading the book?

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Even being a more experienced mom, I have a lot of emotions coming out of reading those stories. But being a new mom, it's like I expect that reader to feel at home. Like taking a front row seat that there are other moms who have walked through the fire, who are walking through the fire, but we're still standing. This is something that can take you down, destroy you. But here in the book, there's so many gems of wisdom that comes out of it that says that you don't have to be destroyed by this. So again, for me, it's like a welcoming coming home, sitting with sisters and friends that are on the journey with you, letting you know again that you are not alone.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

When you wrote this and you had to reflect back and look back, did it change the way you actually viewed your story? Now, you know, 20 years later, 30 years later.

SPEAKER_05 14:36

It wasn't about changing what happened and even how I responded to it. It was changing the optics through which I saw myself in that day. More about looking at it as reality instead of some kind of a slow motion movie. That's what it felt like when it was happening. But looking back, it looks like reality, it feels like me, but I get the advantage of being me 18 years down the road from that movement and seeing all the versions that I became to get there. And it's almost like I want to go back and hug that woman back then. There's nothing I want to change about her, but I see her through different lenses now.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Oh, Lena, that was amazing, and a lot of what I was gonna say too. So for me, seeing that girl back then, I was able to validate where she was and the process she went through, and that she did the best job she could with what she was given. And now standing more so with experience and confidence. I'm so proud of her. I'm so proud of her.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

These stories are stories of transformation for sure. Our own, our children's. And I say, and we say often, I think in this space, that our children are our greatest teachers. But when we're at the beginning of our journey, we're not thinking that way at all. We're thinking like, how can we fix, heal, intervene, provide, you know, all the medical or you know, therapeutic interventions, you know, for our child. We're researching, we're we're in a different head space in the very, very beginning. And I think it takes some time to realize, oh, our children probably teach us more than we teach them. I love asking parents, what has your child taught you? So I would love for each of you to reflect on one thing that your child has taught you along the way.

SPEAKER_05 17:07

Uh, as you were talking, Jessica, this image vividly jumped out into my mind, and I haven't thought of it for years. Um, when we first showed up to our developmental pediatrician, and this was a drive, it was in a different town from where we lived, and in that room, exam room, while we were waiting for the doctor, he had a picture hanging on the door, and it had some simple image, I don't remember the image, um, but it said, children with special needs come to teach us how to love. And as a mom, in that headspace of research, in that headspace of panic and uncertainty and turmoil, I looked at what it said and I couldn't see it. I could see strength that I've had to build in order to handle everything that was going towards me in that moment. I could see tenacity, I could see stubbornness, I could see all of those hard and heavy things that I felt like I had to hold up like a shield, but I couldn't see this teaching me how to lie. And looking at it from the lens I have now, I see it. Because in an evolution of a woman and a mother, I believe that you have to go through all of those tenacious, hard things to get to the other side where you see the love. And I don't believe that you can get there in the fullness of it unless you go through all those things.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

So true. I call Miss T a champion because all of what I've been through is because of what all of what she's been through. She's it's really happened to her. I just have been there to support her. I have a saying that says that when she's good, I'm good. So when I have watched her go through her, the various procedures, the setbacks, all of that, and I see the contentedness that she has and how she's able to rise up above it. That is courage to me. And so I was able to draw my strength through her, and so I would say she's shown me courage. Time and time again, I would say courage.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

I love that, and I think you know, definitely all of us being in community when we witness each other's courage and strength and wisdom and love and resilience, it's so inspiring, but it's also beautiful when our children also inspire us as well. Yes, yes, and again, that's not something that you're thinking at the beginning of your journey because you're just in shock and worry and wonder and what if and fear. And, you know, again, back to the book. This is why we've created this book because we want to provide not a fire hose of information at the beginning of your journey. You can read each letter, you know, one one a month or every other month. It doesn't have to mean you sit down with it, but you know, it would have been helpful for somebody to say to me, your child is going to inspire you, your child is going to teach you and and mold you. The circumstances are going to mold you into a more beautiful, compassionate person. Asha, what would you share that your son has taught you?

SPEAKER_04 20:52

My son didn't talk well till he was about four and a half. And even after that, it took him a long time to basically get into conversation. So during that time, I guess we just had some form of communication. I could feel what he's going through. So when sometimes the smallest thing could trigger a tantrum. But I could feel what actually what's triggering this also, I could feel. I know what's going on. The stories are endless, what we have been through, those experiences are endless. But what it really taught me was that you know, sometimes as people we base all our relationships on births and emotions. And sometimes maybe someone may not be able to express themselves so much, may not be able to show how much, but that doesn't mean that they don't feel. So when it comes to especially kids with special needs, sometimes parents will be like, oh, he doesn't do this or he Right while that child is just next to them. Assuming that he doesn't understand or that she doesn't understand, but they do. And when it comes to everything we do with them, we need to realize that, you know, words are just one way. But it doesn't mean that that's all they are feeling. No. The words are one layer only. Under that, there's so much more emotion. And when the kids don't are not able to put it out, the helplessness they feel. That's how painful it is for me even now. When I realize how much my son went through, I was with him throughout. I understood. But within society, you know, when people assume he doesn't understand the sadness and the helplessness he felt, it just hurts even now. It's so painful. And it just it just really it helped me to learn that, you know, words and emotions. Words and emotions are two things. People cannot maybe able to say everything, but doesn't mean that they don't feel, and we need to give that love and acceptance.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Yeah, that really touches me, Asha. With kids, always presume confidence. That's a phrase that gets thrown around. But just because a child struggles to communicate or cannot communicate verbally doesn't mean they don't understand, doesn't mean they're not taking everything in. You know, we are given, I believe, an intuition. And I don't think I really understood that early on in my journey. I feel like that's something that I've become more attuned, maybe in the last five, eight years as a mom, uh, as a human. And I I really believe that we've been given that and and we can use that in a way that helps us really understand our children, connect with our children, and know what they need. But it's hard to sometimes get quiet enough to just listen. But I think, you know, I I know that we become the experts on our children. And it doesn't always have to look a certain way in terms of how we achieve that expertise, but we do. I, you know, I just want moms to know that they have that and they have that gifting as a mom to their child. I remember when Ryan was in the hospital, he was in for a month. We didn't know what was going on. He couldn't cry, he couldn't suck, he had failure to thrive, hypotonia, he had breathing issues, et cetera, et cetera. And he was born on a Friday, which means there was no OT to work with him until Monday. So it was a very long first weekend in the hospital. But when she came in, it was so loving because she came in as a specialist in feeding. She was an OT that specialized in feeding. So she was trying to wake up Ryan's little mouth and his lips and his jaw, and there's like a thousand things that go into feeding. And she said to me, You know, because you're already a mother, that Ryan doesn't have to nurse for you to bond and connect together. Because he couldn't, he could not nurse. He could not hardly he couldn't even take a bottle at the time. That was so powerful for me. And so I share that story just because we do connect with our children. We have a beautiful, soulful connection with our children, no matter what, no matter what. That is available to us. That is available to us. Who wants to answer what the title means to you? Suddenly, brave together.

SPEAKER_04 25:53

That's so true. That's so true. I would never have known there was a brave ounce in me. We were pushed into that situation and yeah, discovered suddenly that yeah, we seem to be pretty brave.

SPEAKER_05 26:09

You know, I love the title, and the suddenly is such a fitting first word because I I believe that you know life changes gradually many times. We watch that in the seasons and nature and all the places. But sometimes when something changes suddenly, I see it as a mirror. And I have countless examples of things that have happened in my life that um changed drastically and suddenly, and and those things stick out, and those things save you.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

I've never heard anybody say that. I'm gonna hold on to that, Lena.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

I love the title. Suddenly, it is so befitting to what we have experienced as moms uh on this journey, suddenly. And as Lena said too, I've had a lot of suddenlies. Um now I get excited about it. I get excited about it because I know something is gonna come good out of it.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Right, which again, in the beginning of our journey, it's so hard to even fathom that because we're just in so much pain. And it's okay. We don't want anyone to rush through it. We're not we're not sharing these stories and putting this book in the world to rush you through your grief or your fear or your worry or even your bitterness or resentment that this is happening to you, to your child, to your family. We're just we're here validating all of it and also trying to provide hope, you know, on the other side of acceptance and growth and learning and compassion.

SPEAKER_05 28:10

Jessica, can I say something about pain? Um, you mentioned that, and a lot of us go through pain. Um, I read somewhere this phrase that had been with me for a few years now. It's something about how, yes, some things in life are painful, like straight out painful. But we also as humans have a tendency of adding and multiplying that pain when we try to shove it away and pretend like it doesn't exist. So going back to what you just said, it is so important to live through it and try your best not to push it away and pretend like it's not there because you think it's gonna do help.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

That's so true. It's so true. And it comes out anyways. You shove it down and it comes out in some way. It's gonna come up, it's gonna bubble up. It's you know, like that image of the that game where you're like hitting the whatever it is, a mole or a squirrel or something, like you hit one and one pops up, right? That silly like arcade game. And it's true. We shove it down and it's gonna come out somewhere. It's gonna hit us, it's gonna hurt us, it's going to, because it it is meant to be felt and worked through.

SPEAKER_05 29:43

And it goes to the second word in the title of the book, let's just be brave and take it as it comes.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

For me, suddenly brain came out as why it's so fittingly, you know, suitable. It's like I used to envision, you know, people who take this high jump into the water, you know, they do the twists and turns and they think Mr. Bean, right? And then the thing is, before you jump into the water with that tip, you take a deep breath and get ready, you prepare yourself and then jump. So there's no sudden limit, it's planned. But to be in this situation, you were basically pushed there suddenly. There was no preparation, right? So that's why this word suddenly brave seems so suitable to this. That's how how I think it was too for all of us.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Yes. You're pushed off that high dive. Nobody asked you to take a breath and prepare. No. People love to ask me this all the time because brave is a part of, you know, we are brave together. It's a part of the organization. It was a part of the title of the first book, the second book. What does the word brave mean to you, you know, just in your everyday life?

SPEAKER_05 31:15

I have a short answer to this. You ready? Sure. It's all about accepting reality as it is and taking your next first step.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

That's it. That's good. That's good. I like that.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

For me, it is standing in it when I don't want to, when I do not want to deal with it, address it, show up. And for me now, it's knowing that I don't have to always address things immediately or have to have an answer, but I can pause, but I've got to handle it. I've got to address it.

SPEAKER_04 31:49

I think for me, brave means what comes to mind directly is standing alone in the storm. You can't explain to the world why your son is having a tantrum. You can't explain to the world what's going on. You just got to be there and deal with it. Never mind the world. So for me, brave means just standing in the storm and facing it.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Facing it and not worrying or trying not to care about what anybody else is thinking. That's brave too. Right? Not even just withstanding the storms, but you know, withstanding other people's opinions and thoughts and looks, or you know, what they have to say, you know, it's not letting that affect you, which is really hard. And that's also part of the journey as a mom.

SPEAKER_05 32:42

Also flexibility, too. Um, there's a quote that said, you know, a strong oak was broken by the storm, but the willow survived. So being able to roll with whatever's coming your way.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

What would you say is the most one of the most important attributes as a mother, like what's most important?

SPEAKER_03 33:10

I would say acceptance for me. Accepting Tiana, Miss T just as who she is, no matter how other people see her, don't see her, see limitations, but acceptance by letting her be who she is.

SPEAKER_04 33:29

For me, I think it's free it's love, acceptance, and patience. Just to be patient. These are the three.

SPEAKER_05 33:44

So for me, this motherhood experience in general changed what I thought strength looked like completely, like on its head. So I have uh a term, a new term, it's soft resilience, right? So when I think about that, it's not the resilience that is a wall that stands tall against all odds. It's that strength and flexibility, it's the softness and the resilience altogether.

SPEAKER_02 34:18

I like that. Can you say a little bit more about that?

SPEAKER_05 34:21

So when I first started doing all of the research and and performing strength, that's what I think about. I ran out of energy, I ran out of patience, I ran out of all the things that you ladies have mentioned about a necessary skill. But when I took that strength and I softened it and I turned it inward, I've given myself the acceptance and the ability to notice me inside the story. The strength multiplied, and I was able to give so much more and to be so much more while doing it. You know, it's not just about what can I give to my immediate family? It's about what can I give myself so that it can multiply and come out into the world beyond my family circle? And this is what this book and this organization have done for all of us.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

When you think back to the very beginning, the beginning years, what is one thing that would have helped you to hear? Like for me, you know, there were so many times, and and even still, you know, last week I had this feeling of I can't do this. For somebody to to say to me, actually, you're gonna be so surprised at who you become, and yes, you can do this. And you're gonna have moments where you doubt that and doubt yourself, but yes, you can you can do this. Yes, you are the right mom for Ryan.

SPEAKER_05 36:07

Jessica, I have this, I have tears in my eyes right now because as I think about this question, I desperately wanted somebody in a white coat to come up to me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. But I never would have believed them because I have too much of that logic in me. What instead I think would have helped is to tell me that okay does not look the way that I think it does right now. And it's going to change and you're going to be able to live a beautiful life with your new world.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

I think for me, I would love for someone to have come alongside of me to say you don't have to have all the answers. I I honestly did not have answers and that created shame in me. And so knowing I did not have to have all the answers is okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

Asha, what did you need to hear? What what would you have liked to hear?

SPEAKER_04 37:42

Since you asked that question. I'm just wondering whether I never thought even that was an option. If that makes any sense. Because I think actually there wasn't any words that gave me any strength. I basically dealt with a society which kept finding the falls, what's not what's still not happening, why he's not doing this, what he's not doing, or a multitude of advices. But as you ask this question, I'm I'm thinking to myself, could there have been something that might have given me some strength? And I think, yeah, perhaps one thing that might have given me strength would have been for somebody to just look and say, he's beautiful as it is. Because I know it, but I went on only mindful. But if somebody could say that to me, he's beautiful as it is, he's amazing as it is. He is, I know it. But maybe at that point, maybe if somebody could have told me that, it made a big difference.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Absolutely. It because in the beginning of our journey, we are focused on everything that's going wrong, right? And also when you're trying to get services for your child, when you're, you know, entering the school district, um, whatever it is, you know, whether it's social services or the school district or both, you're having to emphasize, you know, every struggle, every, you know, deficit, if you will, every challenge, everything they're not doing, all the milestones they're not hitting. And it's so, so painful for so for somebody to come in and just say, your child is beautiful as she is, as he is, like just to breathe that in and just to like say that to yourself every day would be amazing.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

Okay, Asha. So um the night Tiana was due to go home. I had a close friend come to the hospital, her and her husband, and she looks into where Tiana, excuse me, is lying, and she looks at me, and then she looks there again. She said, Oh my gosh, you had me scared with all of what I had heard. Your baby is beautiful, and that made me feel so good. So I know exactly what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

I think it's important to know that you know our children's worth and beauty is not dependent on where they fall on the spectrum of their diagnosis or how well they're doing despite their diagnosis. And for those listening, I put your quotes around well. Our children have beauty and wisdom and worth because they exist. And the same for us as moms. We don't have to have, I love how you said the performative strength, Lena. Like we don't have to perform for everyone. Look how well I'm doing despite this really hard circumstance, right? Let's just be us, let's just share how it really is. You know, all parts of it, all sides of it, you know, it's okay to show the days where we're really ready to run away. It's okay, it's okay, and it's okay to have those, you know, beautiful moments of strength and share that too. But we don't have to perform for anyone. We don't have to handle this a particular way to have worth. We have worth because we exist, because we breathe. Well, thank you all so much for coming on Brave Together podcast today. I really think we can sit here and talk for another hour. I would love to hear more of your journey, more details, more heart details. I love this so much. And I just thank you again for being a part of Suddenly Brave Together. Thanks so much for listening today. Do us a favor and leave us a review and a rating so that this podcast can get into the ears and the hearts of more and more moms. Did you know that Brave Together Podcast is an extension of our nonprofit organization? We are brave together. We are braved together, servers, an international community of caregiving moms, brave groups, and our heart travel, and then personal educational free service, and we have pre-creates all over the published our first and apology of caregiving stories and up and becoming free together. Mother caregiving moments, and then a fine element in their life. Join us today, go to we are framed together on the core.