Next Gen Now: Making Church Home for Youth

Join hosts Cody Morehead and Mark Mellinger as they dive into the heart of youth and family ministry at Heart of the Lakes. Discover how intentional relationships, authentic community, and a little bit of awkwardness are transforming lives and growing the next generation. Whether you’re a parent, volunteer, or church leader, this episode offers practical insights and inspiring stories for building a vibrant, welcoming church family.

Transcript

 Welcome back to the HOTL Cast. This is Cody Morehead and I am joined by Mark. We're both pastors here at Heart of Lakes, and we are excited because there's some really amazing things coming up in the future for Heart of Lakes. Um, we have moved to three services in Brooklyn Jackson. Our Jackson campus is growing, and we have a new addition to our Jackson campus.

Mark Mellinger is now. The youth pastor over the Jackson campus. 

Yeah. Ooh, don't, don't all go crazy. I want, I'm just kidding. 'cause there's no audience here. Um, 

thanks Mark. So, okay, so let's talk about this real quick. I think that it's really important for people who are listening to the podcast to note that, uh, the two things that, um.

That church and Pew recognize as the most, uh, regular indicator for church health are the health of the Youth and family ministry program of any church. Okay. And I, I think, quick question, 

what's church and Pew? 

It's actually, it's a research group that does research specifically for churches. Okay.

Alright. And there the, one of the leading factors in a healthy church, right? A church that is growing and having health. Is the, the vibrance of their youth and children's ministry programming. And Mark over in Jackson, you have taken on both youth and partially children's. 

Yeah. Uh, 

because you guys are growing with families.

So talk about that. Tell me. 

Yeah. So it's been cool to see. I know we, um. Starting off for a while, didn't have anything programming wise. We just had the kiddos in and we had like coloring pages and stuff. But as we grow and we got more consistent families, um, we started expanding. My fiance now runs the, um, children's stuff over there, and then when I'm done with worship, I go and then we run that show together.

Um, and then with youth, we've had more students showing up. I've had cool opportunities to do stuff in the community. Um, like they're serving opportunities at Northwest High School with the Giving Tree program that they have out there, where I can go up to the school and volunteer at the school with the students and like put those things together, get the ornaments sorted, get the like gifts prepared and wrapped.

And um, and then I have a bible study that I run at Paragon Charter Academy too, where I have got like 13 middle schoolers that come to a Bible study with me. Well, how many 

did you have this week? 

15. 

Yeah. Right. So yeah. So let's talk about that a little bit. So, so out of that, there were kids that came to you.

You're doing youth group on Monday nights. Yeah. Every other Monday nights. As you guys are getting started and you are running some events, you, you did a board game night, you've had some hangouts. So talk to me about how does it feel to start youth ministry over there? Like how excited are you to see.

You know, some of those kids that you're seeing in the schools. 

I'm, I was very excited to be starting it up A little nervous 'cause you never know how the turnout's gonna be. Um, and who's gonna be excited. But we had a very blessed first, uh, youth group, not this week, but the week, last week, last Monday, I know last Monday we started off with 13 kids for our first actual youth night.

And. I was, I was excited about that. Normally you're like, oh yeah, five, five or six kids maybe. Yeah. Um, but I had a bunch of 'em that are like, oh, I can't wait to go. Oh, I'm looking forward to it. And a bunch of 'em are like handful of 'em from that Bible study that I'm doing. Um, we got kids that their families come to the Jackson campus that.

Uh, one of 'em was very like, nervous at first, and then as we got done, he had a blast where he's like, it's like he's not used to all these other people he doesn't know. And I found out this week that like, 'cause we're starting with every other week to start off with, he was upset that we didn't have it this week.

His parents told me, they're like, he heard that we didn't, didn't have youth group this week. He was like, oh my, what? Are you serious? I'm like, oh, well cool. Like the fact that he was. So excited to still be there and had such an awesome time and was wanting to plug in more. Yeah. Was, was thrilling for me.

That is awesome. Yeah. So I'm excited because, um, one I know this past summer you got to go, you know, part of the, part of our strategy was we're connecting intentionally with Somerset Beach Camp. Um, we're, we've moved our summer camps there. We are doing our, you know, we did our fall, we're doing brain freeze there.

And, um, part of that is you went and served on staff this summer. Yeah. At Somerset Beach Camp. You were the, you were the eldest staff. I 

was the elder staff. Yeah. You were the elder staff, right? It felt They didn't make me feel old. No, but I felt old nonetheless. 

But you ran around, which was great. 'cause you, you got to make connections with all those students.

Yeah. Right. From our area and, and in the surrounding areas. So, uh, one of the things that I'm excited about is that. Whenever we start youth ministry, um, no matter how big or small, because I think youth ministry is, is just vital and, and, and important. Um, we have an opportunity to connect to students that maybe would never come to our church otherwise Yeah.

In their high school career. And so, um. One thing that I love is that even though we have, we have a, a really large youth group, a really large percentage of our, you know, of a, a percentage of our kids, um, don't attend anywhere on a Sunday morning. Yeah. But that's where they feel safe. Right. And it's an opportunity connect with them in a real intangible way.

So what are the things that you're, you know, some of the things that we've talked about that you're intentionally doing to like connect those kids to Sunday mornings and what are some of the things that you're trying to do to make sure that they feel like this is a safe place for them? Like this is a great place for them to be.

Yeah. Like they, you know, welcome. 

I know I always try to give attention to the kids, especially the ones that are a little more quiet and nervous. Because sometimes the impression is that they don't want to talk to people just 'cause people don't know. They're not sure what to say. They see them off. I try to go outta my way and be like, Hey, what's up dude?

Hey, I'm so glad you're here. Like, let, we're gonna have an awesome thing. This is what we're doing. And like we did name tags this week, so we had everyone doing the name tags. Yeah. And I did speed friendship. So where we had 'em sitting across from each other and they would say there were three prompts for them to say, to get to know the other person, and they had 60 seconds to find out those things and talk about it, and then switch to another person and then do those things and then go to another person every 60 seconds.

So, 

yeah. So like, here's, here's something to note for our church. Right? 'cause this is, I think this is really important when I, I think sometimes because there is a, there's a perception of teenagers that comes from popular media mm-hmm. That they're, they're just closed off. They don't want to talk, they're too cool, right.

Like, yeah. That, but I, it is my experience. They're the opposite. No. They, they want to be recognized. They don't know how to articulate that. Yeah. But they want to be recognized. So like when they come, here's, here's a good note for everybody. When you see a teenager come into the church, just be friendly and, and, and go and introduce yourself.

Right? Yeah. Like. Make them feel like they're just as welcome as any other adult that would be there because like it is their church. Like we say this all the time, it's not the next, like when we say it's next gen we're talking about, we're always trying to make sure that the next generation that's coming up feels like it's their church as well.

And we say it's, it's the now generation. Yeah. Like it's, it, it is their church now and like. When we make a space for them to feel like they're included, like they are loved, like they're part of what's going on. It translates. 'cause like the truth is, we have some kids who have come throughout the years who they, they'll never come to youth group, but they do come almost every Sunday morning.

Yeah. Or their schedules don't allow, or their youth group just like, is not like they, they don't have the time for it. That, you know. 

Right. 

And so like that is important too. Like we would love for every single student that comes to our church or graces our doors to come to youth group. 'cause we think it's life changing.

Yeah. But that might not be the way that they connect the best with the body of Christ. Yeah. And so like make sure that. As a church, like we are being just as like, we're being overly welcoming to students. And if you're going like, well, it's awkward. Well, yeah, they're all awkward. Like, I, I work with them, mark.

Hey, teenagers are awkward. It's, it's okay. They really are. Sit in the awkwardness. Go like, you don't know what, saying hi to a teenager on a Sunday morning or introducing yourself is gonna do for them long term. Because just like anything else. The more that we make Sunday mornings and our church family, right?

Yeah. The community and the body of Christ feel like home to students and, and teenagers. Like the more that we're going to break the statistics that only one out of every three kids that. Attends church regularly is gonna stay in church. 

Yeah. 

Like we wanna break the, I want those statistics to be garbage at our church.

Right. I want us to have like 75% or 80% of our kids want to come back and wanna plug into the church. And even if it's not here, they go off to college that they, they try to find a home church that. That fits and like that they feel comfortable in. And like some of that means that they feel like church is theirs as well.

Like it's theirs to, to be a part of, to plug into. 

Yeah, I say let it be awkward. Awkwardness feels so uncomfortable and weird, but. Whenever I, I just let it happen. I just let it be weird. I'll talk to 'em if it's strange. Oh, well, so be it. Like what makes that so bad? You, you never talk to that person. You don't know them, so it's gonna be awkward.

That's always the case for a first interaction, but that awkward barrier that you share actually becomes like. A great opportunity for letting that happen. 'cause you're both feeling that when that happens. 

Yeah, and and I've, I've had a lot of people say like, I'm just awkward. I don't, I don't know how to talk to people.

I don't wanna to, 

I'm awkward. 

That's what, who cares? I'm 

so awkward. 

I I really, I'm I'm telling you like, it does not matter. It doesn't matter. We had, we had this, I'll just say we had this lady, she's passed away now, but she was, she was a sweet lady, but she was awkward. She was really, she was awkward and, and, but she would say.

Hi to everybody. When I worked in Cincinnati. Mm, when I, she would, she was, she went to that church, she would say hi to everybody. And I remember just thinking like at first, like, oh, you know, like, yeah. I remember in my youthful ignorance thinking like, oh, I don't want that person to be the first person that says hi to those people.

But then I got thinking like. What if nobody else said hi to them? 

Yeah. 

Right. Like she was being faithful to make sure that she was making sure people felt welcome. Mm-hmm. And it's like everybody should have that heart. Everybody should have that spirit. Yeah. It doesn't matter if you're awkward, like just go talk to people.

You're not gonna be some weirdo. They're not gonna leave that interaction and be like, oh man, that was awful. They're gonna leave that interaction and go like, somebody noticed I was here. Yeah. If somebody cares, like, and we talk about this all the time, like we have a lot of new people, like we have a lot of new people coming all the time.

And like one of my worries is like, what if somebody doesn't welcome them? Or what if they come in and don't feel welcomed? Right. Or they don't feel like this is their church home. Yeah. You know, this can be their home and, and I constantly, the new people that come that stay and plug in are like, we just felt like this was home immediately.

And so like we need to keep up that trend of. How do we welcome people? How do we make sure that they, because, and I know students are no different than 

adults for our church overall, that's always been a heart of mine to make sure that when PE new people come in, that our people are loving on them. Heck, Carol.

Carol Miles out in the Jackson campus. We'll chase new people down so she can hug them when they come in. 

Yeah, 

she, she's our. Church hugger and yeah, I'll watch her like as quick as she can go to those people and be like, it's so glad you're, I'm so glad you're here. I'm the one that hugs everybody coming here and it's like, just 'cause of how sweet she is and how tender she is.

Little old lady. Yeah. She's so precious. So I know another thing you were asking about how to get 'em plugged in. I know. I wanna start including them in some of the events that our other church people are at, like our regular church attenders to give them an opportunity to. Plug in and get to know 'em.

Like our HOTL Express event coming up. I'm trying, I'm trying to get our students, uh, rounded up to help me run the cocoa car for the HOTL Express our event in December, which I think they'll do an awesome job. Yeah. There's a whole bunch of 'em that I'm like, yeah, you could do that. Well, 

I mean, we talk about this all the time.

Like we, we, I unfortunately have been part of churches where. I grew up in churches where there are no kids. Yeah. And there's no like, and the sadness there is that when we don't, when we don't foster good relationships with students and children and families, what we're doing is we're missing the opportunity to, we're missing the opportunity to, uh, introduce people to Jesus who will have.

Life changing experiences within their family. Right. Like, and, and that to me is like, I wanna be a part of that. Yeah. Like, I've always wanted to be a part of that. It's not my, it's not my, my ministry or my success, it's just I get to be a part of that conversation. Yeah. Like that excites me greatly to know that like.

The families that we have at our church right, are having conversations with their ki their children. They're having life change, which I think is really a significant indicator that Jesus is moving in their lives and like, I think that's an important thing. Yeah, 

I would agree. Yeah. It's important that those kids feel welcomed and loved and I think it's cool to watch the people at my church live that out.

Like when we have kiddos come in, like they. They recognize 'em, they see 'em, they laugh when they're running around the sanctuary and playing tag and running around, having all that. Yeah, like they're not, they're not scoffing at 'em or scolding 'em or being like, wow, how could you run around this? They're they're kids.

They're like, yeah, they're kids. I love it when like, everything's done. The kids are playing tag, having a blast. Uh, this week I had let a handful of 'em, I told them if they were good last week. They could play my guitar and I let them play my guitar. And when I got back with it, it was way Detuned. Yeah.

Some of the strings were way solo low. I was like, oh my goodness. I don't care though. I'm glad that those kids loved it and were excited about it and felt valued when I that happened. It's a guitar if the string breaks. It's a string. I can replace 'em. You replace 'em every year. Anyway, so like, 

so I have a, I have a, this will be my last story.

I wanna tell you this last story before we wrap up. Like, so talking about like cultures in churches and like what, how does it, you always, you always judge like, okay. When you look at an organization, right, any evaluation of an organization, you look at the people who are at the top and whatever they're doing, they're setting the tone for everybody else.

Like, so who are the, who are the decision makers? Who are the people who have, you know, the, the decision making power, right? How do they behave? What do they believe? How do they act? And I feel like we've always been blessed. Um, you know, I feel like we really are blessed and have in the past been very blessed to have.

Governance team members and elders. Oh yeah. That really understand why we do what we do. And Paul maybe was on our board and for a long time, uh, Paul's grant, uh, uh, father founded our church and we had youth group one night and we have these stained glass windows inside our sanctuary. And uh, there was about particular, I'm walking up to the stage and one of the high school girls.

Runs over and gives me like this bear hug, but it caught me like I, I was like off balance. Mm-hmm. And like what happened is I put my elbow through one of those stained glass windows and I would just remember going, oh no, what have I done? Like, there, I'm gonna be grilled out for this so hardcore. And like, and I'm like, okay.

So as soon as I'm like. I get up there, I preach, do campfire groups. I get done, I call and Paul comes out and takes a look and I'm just like, I'm like, I'm so sorry this I'm, I am so sorry. And he's, and I remember, I'll never forget this, Paul said, Hey. I don't mind, uh, a church full of, full of students and children that break stuff.

And I just remember like, it was just like, it was just like, I don't mind, like it was so simple, like something that I could see people getting so mad about, so furious about. It was just like. This is why we do what we do. Like we care about families, we care about kids like it, it was an accident. Like it wasn't some kid like throwing a ball at a sand glass window 'cause he is mad.

Like it was an accident and it was, 'cause we have a sanctuary that gets used that for youth group every Sunday night, you know, and I, and it's full of teenagers. And I, I, that was just such a cool reassurance to me that like this. This pe the group of people here gets it. And I'm not saying that there, there are so many amazing churches out there who get it.

It's not like we're, you know, it's not like we're the, the best of the best of the best, but I am so, we feel so fortunate, and I'm sure if you listen to this and you go to Hard Lakes, you, you understand this culture and what we're talking about, like. I, I love the fact that we don't s sweat the small stuff and we, we give space to teenagers and to children to be who God has made them to be, and we don't try to conform them.

We just love them where they're at. Yeah. And I think that's a really, really important thing. And so, so as we, as we wrap this up, it's really important to note our Jackson Campus as youth group happening now for more information. You can, uh, you can check out the website, find Mark's, contact information, get a, get ahold of him.

If you go to the Jackson campus, make sure you're doing stuff to support the youth ministry and children's ministry there. Yeah. If you go to Brooklyn campus and you don't have a God job and you wanna get plugged in, youth and children's ministry are always places that need good people who wanna step up and do amazing things.

Without a doubt, you'd be amazed how much life change you'll witness, uh, if you're faithful in those things because our family ministry continues to grow. Um, and we're, we're really excited about that. So, yeah. Thanks so much for joining us for this huddle cast. You can check us out wherever podcasts are.

Spotify, uh, Google Play, apple Podcasts, and more, and, uh, are also on our website, hoddle strong.com. That's HOTL strong.com. It's Heart o the lakes. Thanks so much for joining us. 

Have a wonderful day.