Getting Unstuck: How Community and Faith Move You Forward

In this episode of the HOTLCast, Cyle, Matt, Ryan, and Mark dive into what it really means to be stuck — whether it's relationally, emotionally, financially, or spiritually — and what it takes to break free. Drawing from a real-life sandbar rescue in Florida, the guys share vulnerable personal stories about the seasons they've been stuck and how godly community made all the difference. If you're feeling like parts of your life just aren't working, this episode is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Hello and welcome to the Huddlecast. If you're watching the live, we got new mic covers and they're sweet. They really are. I'm Kyle. I'm Matt.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

I'm Ryan. Mine's Orange.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

I'm Mark and mine doesn't have a cover either.

SPEAKER_03 0:12

You don't have one because you're not supposed to be talking. We put you in the corner.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

You still just didn't get the idea. I plugged it in anyway, though.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

Yeah. No, just kidding. Um, so yeah, no, we're uh we're glad to be back. So who was on last week? I was on last week's show. Who was on last week? Yeah, you were. Oh, maybe I was. Yeah. Oh, I wasn't supposed to be on this week. That's what it was. That's what it is. I wasn't gonna be here, but I'm here. Um so yeah. Uh well, uh I have a new career. I announced it Sunday. So if you haven't if you're listening and you haven't heard the rumors yet, I I might be short-lived here because I have a new career burgeoning right now. So we'll see. Well, Nick wasn't here, so he doesn't Were you here Sunday, Nick, at church? Oh, he got back, but my new career of um hand modeling. So yeah. I found out that I have beautiful hands and people want to see them on video and want to see me eat ice cream with my hands.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

So anybody else getting Seinfeld remembrances right now of George Costanza being a hand model?

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Lesson, hand models can make some big money. So and then I found out Marshall Tracy is related to the person who did the um the uh Yellow Pages fingers back in the day when they did the pages.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Let your fingers do the walking.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

Yeah, yeah. What? That's kind of cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

The old telephone book, it was like these great big things that had and the fingers were walking the pages.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

They like made like commercials for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

Yeah, he like he like knew somebody's who knew his wife was the the hand. Yeah, so sometimes when I big deal.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Sometimes when I spend time with Mark, I just feel so old. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

I've never had to use a book to look up phone numbers. I just would like look it up on Google. Yeah. If it's like a specific business. That's weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

See, there used to not be that.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Yeah, it used to be a book.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Used to be a huge that's what you did before Google? Was there a search bar on it? Or like big money. Oh my god. That was how you advertise.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Was that Google? You didn't have Google ads, you just you just went there and like you paid big money to get a bigger ad in the phone.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

It's like you couldn't copy and paste the phone number. You had to like like it.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

No, but then you had to put it in the rotary phone. But then people would people would game the system because they always game the system. So like, you know why there's like plumbing, like a and a plumbing and stuff? Because if you put A at the beginning of your business or name, then you would you would rank first. You would be first one. So when they went to plumbers, it'd be A plumbing, and then someone would be like, No, I'm gonna do A and A or A A plumbing or AAA Plumbing. So that's where all that came from. Interesting. So you could be first in the phone book. Yep. You're definitely a good thing. So a lot of those companies, a lot of those companies still have names like that because that you know they've been around for a long time. But like that's literally why. Aspen plumbing is kind of a weird name. And so you think Aspen would have been an A at some point in you know, so that's Adam's business. Yeah, plumbing. That makes a lot of sense. But that's like why we're not like Aspen in in Southern Michigan, but then you think, uh, they were just trying to get closer to the front of the phone book, probably. Maybe not, but that's seemingly what's interesting. As an A, they probably were trying to do it. I've seen Ardvark plumbing, I've seen all kinds of stuff like that, because there's AA at the beginning, Ardvark. Yeah, so that's the way it works.

unknown 3:25

Cool.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

Churches would do the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

I learned something today.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Yeah. It doesn't work that way on Google, now you just have to pay to get ranked first. Right, that's true. It doesn't quite work as well. It doesn't do alphabetical. Now you could have whatever name you want as a company. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Speaking of phone books, you ever see somebody rip one of those phone books in half? Yes. I I had a buddy I used to work with, and he could just grab what he'd just take that. I mean, I can't even believe I don't even know how to do that.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Yeah. I watched a whole video on how they do it one time because I'm like, I need to know how they do this. I can't do it, but it's a trick, it's a trick. Yeah, yeah. You're you're basically bending it in such a way that you're gonna rip it a few pages at a time.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

Yeah. They they twist it and you're really just ripping some pages and then pages and pages, and once the pages are ripped, you can just rip it. Yep. So you have to have strength still, but like not as much as you think you need. So a regular person can rip a phone button. Yeah, that's true. So I I ripped one in a half once, it was kind of fun. But like it's it's just it's a trick. So and you're like, these guys are so powerful. I'm like, well, yeah, they're magicians. So now when they're bending steel, that's kind of powerful. That's but that can be a trick. That could be a trick too. Yeah, spoons, yeah. I can bend a spoon with my mind, Mark.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Can you?

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Yeah, you can't. You actually can. You hold the spoon out like this, and you can bend it with your mind, and that just it goes.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

I am skeptical.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

No, it does it does. I've done it. Have you done it? I have not done it. Yeah, I've done it. You can do it.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

What in the matrix?

SPEAKER_03 4:48

Yeah. No, the matrix, it goes like it doesn't it like dances, but no, yeah. It's just another one.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

So the matrix, you know, but phone books, not really.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

No, I didn't know it was called yellow pages. Oh. I I knew that phone books. I had, yeah, I'd never used one, but I knew of them.

SPEAKER_03 5:06

Sad. Sad.

unknown 5:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

The world has changed and continues to change as we every day, you know, we look online and see that it's changing yet again. So AI is changing everything.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah, I remember when iPod touches were the big thing.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

I remember when I'm my Disc man, when I got my Disc man, I was so excited because I would have the little hookup that I could put the tape with the with the cord on it and put it in my car and I could listen to my CDs in my car.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

And the anti-skip feature that never actually worked. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

The students asked me if I remember when color was invented that you threw. And I'm like, honestly. Like, I'm eight years older than you. I'm like, I'm not that old.

SPEAKER_03 5:49

That's funny. So yeah, no, but um, yeah, like I think the thing in the world that just continues to be. I told Patty last night I was I was on uh social media to scroll and I'm like, oh man, the world's just an awful place. Like it's just awful. People are awful. You know, all these politicians doing crazy things yesterday, getting getting in trouble, saying stupid stuff. Like it's just like I mean, we really elect like the worst people to be our public representatives in every state in every jurisdiction. Like it's just like 50 years, so there's that. It's just how can we not do better as you know, all these massive conspiracies are coming to light, and just like, oh my goodness, it's just like I mean, I mean, there are normal good people in the world. I and I then I go back to like the Bible, and the Bible says you know, power, you know, essentially corrupts. I mean, it it I don't think people start out that way. I think that just people get corrupted by power. And the more money, the more power that you have, the more it tends to corrupt you because you feel like you're untouchable. And then you end up doing things, and then people end up finding out, and then you are touchable. So and that's just kind of the crazy part of the world. So um so it was very it's just disappointing to be on social media seeing just how bad some things are in the world and how how we as humans have let Nick move to that direction. Uh I think my mic's cutting up, but yeah. But um, yeah, so anyways, and and that's not really what we have to talk about. We're not here to talk about politics. That's true. Anybody want to say anything about the politics before we move forward? Yeah, no. No, uh third rail. Yeah, yeah. Um, but this Sunday we gotta talk about being stuck. I got stuck on a sandbar in Florida with Mike and Jen Cook, uh, friends of ours, and uh it was it was an endeavor. So um, yeah, I got stuck and and I talked about it, and you know, just really uh we got saved by a stranger who was also stuck, and so but it just as I have these crazy things happen in my life, I just think about like how does this relate to God's word and God's plan and you know God's way, and so ultimately we talked just talked about like being stuck, like some people are stuck right now in our church and the world, like they're stuck relationally, mentally, financially, emotionally, um, in their career, just in their health. And um yeah, and the only thing you can do is get unstuck. Like once you're stuck, the best way forward is to get unstuck. And generally that means with the help of other people. And hopefully godly good people that are in your life that can encourage you, love you, support you, and pull you out of whatever mire you're stuck in. And I think that's the the reality. I got saved by George the DJ from Miami uh and his buddies, and they helped us get unstuck, but um you know, I was we were phys I was physically stuck in the ocean with a jet ski, but but I think there's been times in my life where I've been stuck just kind of emotionally with the loss of my daughter, I've been stuck in my career, I've been stuck in just different ways, and like we need people around us. So as you guys think about that, like when when's the moment you've been stuck?

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Well, speaking specifically to a time where you and I had gone through something together, it was probably right around 2010, give or take, where I had been running from what I knew God had been wanting me to do for a really long time. And you and I had just kind of started to get to know each other a little bit, and you're like, hey, I'm gonna be going on this road trip down to see this young man we knew, Adam, graduate from boot camp. Do you want to come with me? And I'm this was like maybe a Wednesday afternoon. I'm like, maybe, when are you leaving? You're like, Oh, I'm I'm leaving Friday morning if you want to come, you know, it's just you know, down to South Carolina.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

Yeah, no big deal.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

So yeah, just a you know, an impulse trip, you know. And so on the way down, everything we were talking about was just surface, kind of getting to know you stuff, kind of learning more about you know, each other and just random things that you would just have, like with a stranger that you're spending some time with. But but on the trip back, that's when the stuff got real. That's when it was you kind of taking the time to speak into so what's your relationship like with your family? What's your relationship like with your wife? What do you want from life? What is God calling you to do? Where I opened up to you, you know, hey, you know, God actually told me a few years back that I needed to be doing ministry, and you kind of gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to be able to say, you ought to be doing what God told you to do. You should be looking at that and saying, How can I be serving? There are times where people speak into your life, and it doesn't necessarily come from anything you were expecting. And on that trip, you had taken a wrong exit when we were in Virginia.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Yeah, I was gonna say, is that before after the Virginia detour?

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Yeah, we ended up going like what 45 miles or 45 minutes or something the wrong direction.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

One hour the wrong way, and then had to go drive an hour back.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:57

And I had told I was just We were just talking away, I think, at the point, and I wasn't paying attention.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

Yeah, I told Mark this story not that long ago, and I said, you know, it really took going two and a half miles the wrong direction to kind of get back on the right track. And sometimes that's what it is, is having people in your life when you're not doing what God wants you to do, where you're not necessarily following what God has kind of directed you for, or you're just in that position where it's just a lifestyle of lather, rinse, repeat where you keep making the same mistake and expecting different results, and you continually go through it and you just keep asking yourself, why is this not working? Why is my career not going where I want it to go? Why are my relationships not the way I want them to be? And having somebody who will come alongside you that you give permission to speak into those moments and speak truth into that scenario, it's life-changing because if you're giving somebody those moments, they will give you clarity, hopefully, from a biblical perspective, if you're choosing the right people, that will allow you to then be able to look at that and say, This is what I needed to get back on the right track and get unstuck.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

Right, yeah, that makes sense. Well, that's a that was a good time. What about for you?

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Yeah, most of my life. So, yes, yes, I have been stuck. I have been stuck, unstuck, unstuck, unstuck. I've been on layers of stuck, you know. Um you name it, I've probably been stuck on it. And so probably 30 years of my life, probably since I was a little kid, I was stuck. And a lot of it was just because you know, I was looking for I I now I know what I know, you know. What I believe to know is that I've always been searching for God. I've just been searching for diamonds in a sandpit. Or, you know, I got lots of colorful sayings when you say that. But um, but but that's kind of how I have it. I mean, and and I think that it it for me that idea of being stuck is just not being able to deal with reality, right? Like the reason why I get stuck is because I take what's happening and because I don't want to deal with the reality of what God has given me, I want to make up a story, maybe that I'm not good enough, or that you know, I should have this, I shouldn't have this, those shoulds, those shouldn't, those uh those absolute type words too, like always and never. And I I feel like most of my life I spent stuck because I was searching in the world for for God. Yeah. And well, you can't find him really there. Yeah. So but I don't know. I could go on, I could go on for a long time with that, but I would just say yes, and I'm no longer stuck. Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

So praise God.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

I know for me, I've I I do like the I hyperfixate and then I start like spiraling when something goes poorly. Kyle has experienced plenty of those moments and witnessed and tried to help guide me through it and help me try and have peace in the chaos. Like, I know the big season was like when I was like super depressed and on like five dating apps, and they were all like, Oh, you've reached everybody, you can. Sorry, check back another time. And I'm like, This my life is over. This is terrible. This sucks. I would like give Kyle my phone and be like, just talk to the people for me, please, because none of them are talking to me, and maybe you can say something that sticks. Has Brie heard this yet? Or I've told her about that. I've shared I've shared this with her. She totally understands this.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

I mean, if this was public before Brie knew, that would be a little bit weird. That's why I just kind of wondered.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

Um you've shut those apps off, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Yeah, I canceled all those before even meeting her. I was at the point where I was like, no, I'm I'm I don't want to do this. Um but no, I've I know in recent whenever something goes poorly, instead of letting the spiral happen where it's like everything's falling apart, I'm trying to look at the problems as opportunities instead of issues. Where instead of looking like when I when when someone sins, it's an opportunity to see how good God's grace is and how much how big of a deal it is for life change to happen and how we need God to guide us. And so instead of going like, well, that sucks, well I'm terrible, well, that's just a mistake, well, I'm just gonna keep making mistakes. I'm like, no, no, no, this is now a time for me to pause, look at the situation, and see how I can learn from it and do differently next time. Where instead of the panic, instead of the freak out and the spiral and like the fatal, the fatalistic like everything's terrible now because one thing went poorly. I'm like, no, no, this is now an opportunity, this is not an end. And I've been really trying to practice that a bunch, especially as of recently, and I feel like it's really helped me stop from getting in the places where I get stuck in. Because I know for me, historically, when one bad thing happens, I just I just put my head in the sand and I just stay there. Whereas, and it's like you guys will look at me and you're like, that's not that big of a deal. Was that the right thing? No, but you can keep moving forward. This isn't the end of it because of a mistake, because of something that didn't go the way it was planned. And so I feel like that's done a lot to help me be at peace more, to trust God more, to know that when it happens, and honestly see how big God's peace is compared to mine. Yeah, how it's really about what he's doing and how he's reshaping it, because he's not surprised by it, he knew it was gonna happen. So that's a way that's something that's been helping me is reshaping the perspective of a situation, yeah, so that I don't get stuck.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Yep. Well, and you know, something I kind of picked out of that just struck for me, is just that idea of community, right? Like, you know, weaved into everything you just said was I I lean on my safe, godly men. Yeah, I lean on my safe, godly men, you know, and and and I'm totally with you, man, because parts of me cannot perceive my own best interest. Right, right. And so I need to give that authority in my life. That authority that I give God, I also need to give that to the people that God puts in my path that to help lead and guide me because no matter how far along the path are, you always need a guide. And the only people that get us unstuck are people that have been down there in in the stuckness before, right? Like in all the the years in AA, guess what? The most OG AA guys are are that crusty old guy that's been going to a meeting every week for the last 35 years, and he can tell you everything you need to know about getting sober, and all you got to do is listen to him because guess what? His life works, his kids like him. He's like that he's got money in the bank and he hasn't had a drink in 35 years, you know. It's the same idea with like all this work I do with veterans and first responders, like you know, somebody who has never experienced, you know, maybe going to a car wreck as a fireman and seeing like some tragic thing, or or a uh a soldier in war, like experience that that craziness that war is. It's hard to relate to that. But when you meet these people in the in their life works, it's like, oh, you have something I want, I feel lost and broken. You seem not lost and broken, and it's always God, like it's always God.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Yeah, yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 18:08

No, I mean, I think that's the profound thing about just being even stuck in the ocean. There are people stuck waiting to rescue us essentially because they were stuck and they rescued us. And so, like, I think the the analogy we I used on Sunday was just like God's always got a plan, and he typically has the help ready for you. Are you willing to embrace it? Are you willing to seek it? Are you willing to look for it? Are you just willing to say, Yeah, I'll I'll take your help. Like, I'm stuck. This is how I'm stuck. And the people some, you know, and then you have that person that's there saying, Yeah, well, let me help you get unstuck. I mean, I think when you're when you're living for God, those people are already there. Like God's already got a plan. You just have to get out of your own way and you have to embrace his plan to move forward. And uh I think when you do, it chang can change everything. I mean, change everything for you, it's change everything for you, and you're happily married, so like it's changed everything for you, right, in your life. So, um, you know, so I think when you look at it, it's been the same way in my life. Like everything changes when you just let God lead. And if you don't, then you stay stuck in whatever stuck you're in. And that's the problem is some stuck places can be really awful. They can be really awful, some can just be mildly, you know, discomforting, and that's the problem. I think a lot of people are just stuck in a mildly discomforting stuck. And so it's oh yeah, it's not that big of a deal. I'll just deal with it. Where life's better when you're not stuck in any way, shape, or form, when you're moving forward with the Lord, and like because we're we're gonna get stuck at different times in life. That's why we need people, that's why we need to love God, love people, be a community of people who follow him, seek him, and get in his word, and you know, get in get around his people. So I think that's the challenge for anyone like listening to this. If you're stuck, get unstuck. And if you don't know where to turn, like turn to one of us, just tell us. You can send me a text anytime. You can send Ryan, Matt, Mark, and just say, Hey, I'm stuck. Like, I'm I don't know what I don't know. You may not even know how stuck you are. Just say, I don't something's wrong. I'm stuck somehow, so let's talk about it. Maybe we can figure out what what you're stuck in and how to move forward from it. Or if you know you're stuck, you know, maybe we can help you get a plan to get unstuck with with with God, his help, his support, his people, and his way forward. So I mean, I think that's the that's the goal of the church. It's the goal of Christian relationship, that's the goal, I think, of just being a community with Jesus is you know we get unstuck and we move move down the path with him. So that's that's that's the plan.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

So I think my question for you specifically, that I I don't think you necessarily covered on Sunday, and I don't know if maybe this is something coming up in the future or not, but what do you say to the people who are like, Well, I don't even know how I'm stuck or what the thing is that is kind of keeping me in the scenario that I'm in. What kind of advice and guidance would you give somebody like that?

SPEAKER_03 20:47

I think the more you talk, the more clarity you get. And so go talk to somebody. Like talk to one of us, go meet with a biblical counselor and just start talking, start sharing, because it's gonna come to the light pretty quickly. I mean, typically I know pretty quickly if someone's stuck in a conversation, you can just tell. Like you know, you you can just figure you figure it out. If someone's stuck, it comes alight. You with one of the first conversations you have, you're like, Oh yeah, I can I can see where there's where you're stuck. And like because we've been there, we we all have been there. Sure. So we all know how to recognize it when we see it. And so it may not be like a like a light bulb over their head saying, I stuck this way, you know. But it you know, it'll come out, you'll figure it out soon enough. And so people are good at hiding it for a while, but eventually it's gonna come to light when you're in a relationship with people and you're or if you're just sharing and sharing um with a counselor or a pastor who's just trying to help you figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

Well, and I think a lot of that too, like people just like I I get that people can sense like, yes, something isn't right, but like am I stuck or what and like the language I always use is like okay, parts of my life don't work, right? And so if you're not sure if you're stuck, if parts of your life don't work, like maybe it's your marriage, maybe. Maybe it's your relationship with your kids, maybe it's your job, maybe it's your faith, maybe it's just your overall self-worth and and and how you value your own self. I don't know, you know, but oftentimes I have a lot of conversations like, oh, I'm just I'm just depressed or I'm just anxious. Well, why is that, right? And and it always boils down to parts of my life don't work.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

Yeah. Doesn't mean your whole life is stuck, but it means something might be stuck. I mean, I can still I can still uh you know I can still play volleyball with one broken arm. Doesn't mean I'm gonna play well, right? So I might be a little stuck, but I can still function. I think that's the problem is some people are functionally stuck, right? Like they can function, but they're still stuck. And so I like you know, your phrase, Ryan, you always talk about people wanting different, better, more, or better, different, more, however you say.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

More, better, different. More, better, different, yeah. And like more better, different.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

If you're at a place where you want more, better, different, you're probably stuck in some way because you're seeking getting that kind of grasses greener on the other side. And like we've got to learn to live in the situation um that we're in. And you know, so I think that's you're you got your other phrase that I I changed a had. You want to share your other phrase?

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Which one? I got a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

The one I told you should be had instead of HDA.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Oh, uh uh honest uh um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Oh man, you've been had. I told I I forget um.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Oh hopeless, hopeless, alone, and defect. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

You say hopeless, defective, and alone. I say it should be had because you've been had. You've been hopeful, you're hopeless, defective, and alone. Oh, yeah. If you feel that way, then like you're stuck, you know. And Ryan talks about a lot of these things when he's just talking life because this is like how he speaks, like he's been through this, right? He's figured it out, he's helps other people through it. So if you're at a place where you want, you know, more, better, different, or you feel hopeless, defective, and alone, you're stuck. So get unstuck. And you can talk to one of us, talk to Ryan. It's kind of what he does with Saver Warrior and helps guys get unstuck, really. I mean, that's what you do. So we we just want to be there for you, be a church where we can talk about these things, help you figure them out, move forward, and see what God can do in your life as you move forward. So thanks for listening. We'll catch you on the next episode of the Huddlecast.