Thoughts Of Some Guy In Ohio
Thoughts Of Some Guy In Ohio
Let's Talk About Church Membership Part 2
Discover how to transform your role as a church member into a powerful force for unity and growth. Inspired by Thom Rainer's "I Am a Church Member," this episode promises to unravel the divine expectation of unity within the church community and why it is essential for its health. Embark on a journey through the teachings of Jesus and Paul, where love and respect among believers are not just ideals but vital expressions of faith. We'll explore the pitfalls of disunity often tied to personal desires and selfishness and highlight the transformative power of humility and understanding in overcoming these challenges.
Gossip and unforgiveness—the invisible poisons that undermine church unity—are also under our spotlight. Learn how to transform gossip into meaningful dialogue and how genuine forgiveness can bring spiritual peace and personal well-being. Our candid conversation encourages self-reflection, pushing you to reconsider your role within the church and the impact of your actions on community harmony. By addressing these behaviors, you'll be inspired to commit to fostering a unified and peaceful church environment, aligning with the collective mission of advancing God's kingdom.
Hey, good afternoon everyone. So week two, right. So we're going to. This is week two of our let's Talk About Church Membership podcast. So last week, just to give you kind of a quick overview, we talked about the importance. So we're going through Tom Rainer's book. As a church, we have a class in our church called I'm a Church Member, and last week was about what it means to be a functional church member and that we're all called to be active and we're all called to be a part of the body of Christ. Every person who's there there's a reason they're there. So this week so chapter two is actually titled I Will Be a Unifying Church Member, right? So once again, the book by Tom Rainer I Am a Church Member. This week's all about being a unifying church member and here's why that's important is why that's important.
Speaker 1:I would argue that the number one cause of church death, the number one cause of church split, the number one cause of ministries failing so like different things inside the church you might do the number one reason ministers even leave churches, staff leave churches all comes down to a problem with unity. You and I are part of the church as a whole, so when we become a member of the church, we become part of something bigger than ourselves, right? So like when we, the moment we accept Christ in our lives and we're baptized into him and we accept all that he has to offer, we're connected with Jesus and we're connected with the larger church as a whole. And it's the same way when we join a church, when we become a member of a church, we are taking our talents, our gifts, our ideas all of that and we are committed to being part of the bigger plan which is, you know, obviously, the kingdom of God. The church is part of furthering the kingdom. That's how that's supposed to work.
Speaker 1:Chapter one talks about functioning within that system and being someone who gives and who serves and who is actively participating. So week 2 is all about keeping the unity of the church right. So, just like the body, when your body works as it's supposed to and all of your parts are firing and all cylinders are working, it's amazing what we can accomplish. But when one thing starts to fail, or one thing starts to pull away, or one part of the body starts to not pull its weight, all of a sudden you have a bigger issue. So unity oftentimes is exactly that, is exactly that when we have unity, when we're functioning together, when we're doing what we're supposed to be doing, the body is working at its best. But if you're someone who's causing division, strife, spreading rumors, trying to pick fights and listen one of the things we talked about in this understand where that conversation is going.
Speaker 1:But here's my challenge to you, as with the entirety of what we're looking at in this particular follow-up podcast, but also in the class we're studying. There's an individual responsibility that you and I are called to when it comes to unity. God calls us to be unifiers, right, so I'll just read the first chapter of this, or the beginning of chapter two. It says God desires for Christians to get along. In fact, he is emphatic about it.
Speaker 1:Jesus was clear when he said by this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another. John 13, 35. Did you get that? The world will know if we are Christians or not by the way we who are believers act toward one another. Have you ever been to an ugly business meeting in a church? Do you think an outsider would have been impressed with the Christian behavior that they witnessed? Have you ever heard Christians gossip about other Christians. Is that loving one another? Look at your pastor's email inbox, if he'll let you. I bet some of you would be shocked by what some church members say to him. When you become a Christian, god expects you to be part of his church, but when you become part of his church, he wants you to be a unifying presence there. Let's state that a little bit more strongly. He demands that to be a unifying presence there. Let's state that a little bit more strongly. He demands that you become a unifying presence there. The evidence is pretty clear. Let's take a look.
Speaker 1:So Tom Rainer starts out with looking at the concept of what Jesus says. Right, jesus says listen, the world will know that you are mine by how you love each other. The world will know that you are mine by how you love each other. This idea of unity is grounded in the way that we not only that God loves us, but the way that you and I choose to love each other. That's the basis of love, right? And so unity is such an important part of this discussion. Jesus himself feels the need to address it and say hey, listen, you are supposed to love each other. You're supposed to treat each other with respect. You're supposed to treat each other with this sense of understanding and what it is that I'm calling you to do. And Paul writes about this, and we see this in Ephesians and a couple other places and in his letters. But he talks about how the church is supposed to be like this unifying concept, that the way we treat each other, that when we were talking in our class, you know, in the book of Philippians, paul talks about how we're supposed to see others as better than ourselves. Right, so we're supposed to view other believers in light of a sense of humility and a sense of unity.
Speaker 1:And oftentimes, in church conflict and I can just tell you this from experience a lot of times when church conflict happens or conflict happens with members, it's because it's based out of selfishness. Disunity comes from a selfish place. Someone who is divisive is selfish. They're only thinking of themselves, their wants, their needs. They're not considering anybody else. They're not considering anybody else's circumstances. They come to church and they think, well, my needs aren't being met and so I'm going to cause a problem until they do. And this goes back to what Tom Rainer was talking about in chapter one, that country club mentality of well, this is a church, I belong here, I'm a member, I pay my dues. I should get what I want. Listen, that's not how the church functions. Not at all. Paul talks about this when we go to the letter to Corinthians, his first letter, that there's such a disunion in that church and they can't agree and they're fighting and they're butting heads. And it's all about them butting heads and it's all about them. And Paul goes into 1 Corinthians 13, and he talks about how they should love each other and respect each other and hold each other up right, and so unity is such an important part.
Speaker 1:But it's a personal responsibility that you and I have to take and listen. I'm not always great at it. I'm a human being. I have conflict with people. People say stuff to me that upsets me. I've made mistakes, I've said things that I shouldn't have said. I've had to go back and apologize for mistakes. That's humanity, right. That's the church. That's this understanding that we're not perfect.
Speaker 1:But as far as unity is concerned, it's my responsibility, it's your responsibility, to seek out unity, to promote unity in the church. If I have a conflict with someone, it's my job to go to them and to address this and to talk with them and to try to find a way to get past this, because that's my brother or sister in Christ and we have this obligation to be peacemakers with each other, to make sure that we're trying to find common ground. It doesn't mean that we always have to agree on everything, but it means that sometimes we have to sacrifice or we have to give up something, a preference, an opinion, a thought in order to promote unity in the church. We talk about this with our leadership all the time. We have elders and there's this understanding among our leadership that we're going to have discussions and we might have different views and opinions on how to approach things, but when we collectively are in the public eye, we're going to be unified in our thought process and our approach, because we want to model for people that listen. You can have different backgrounds, different thoughts, different opinions and still seek the kingdom of God. You can still further the work of the church, because we don't have to let those things get in the way. Because we don't have to let those things get in the way and in there is why unity is important, because the moment diversity, the moment division, not diversity there's nothing wrong with diversity but the moment division creeps in is the moment that we start to lose sight of each other as children of God, as sons and daughters of the Most High of brothers and sisters in Christ. When we stop seeing each other in that light, it's because we've become so focused on me, me, me that we're not thinking of the bigger picture, right, and so one of the ways that you know in this chapter, tom Rainer talks about one of the ways that division really flourishes in the church is through gossip.
Speaker 1:When we're talking about one another, when we are having conversations behind someone's back or we're spreading rumors or we're spreading lies, or when we have a conflict with someone, instead of going to that person, like it tells us to biblically, instead we decide to go to someone else and, if we're honest, we're not really looking for an answer or help. We're just looking to say, hey, did you hear that so-and-so? And listen, that's a problem, that's a huge problem. And the crazy thing is it's probably the one thing in church that's most readily accepted, because when someone starts talking to us, we're not really quick to shut down a conversation, even if we think it's gossip, or if someone offends us or mad, it's really easy for us to go find someone to vet to right. And once again and we talked about this when we were having our class there is a part of that that if I have a problem with someone and we have leadership right so I have elders that I answer to If I have a problem with someone in the church, I will go to them oftentimes and have a conversation about what happened, to seek advice, because how do I approach this?
Speaker 1:What do I need to say? Looking back at the conversation, was I wrong, right? So my intention is to go to them and to seek advice, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that, because my overall goal is to take that advice and then go talk to that person and try to resolve that conflict to the best of my ability. Right? There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it's good to kind of step back and say, hey, before I respond in this moment, maybe I need to make sure that I'm right, and I can tell you that I've had conversations and I've sought advice and I've come out of it realizing that I was actually the one who was wrong. It's not a fun feeling, but it happens, right? Where it becomes gossip is when I'm just talking about someone but I'm not really looking for a resolution? I'm not. I'm not looking to solve the problem. I have no intention of talking to them. I just want to make them look bad in front of people.
Speaker 1:Gossiping about people is sinful. It's a sin. It's very clear and very understood the way that James talks about it in James 3, 6. He talks about, and the tongue is a fire. The tongue of righteousness is placed among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the whole body. It sets the course of life on fire. It's set on fire by hell. He's talking about the tongue and how dangerous it is. Romans 1, 29-31,. Paul lists off all of these sins. You know they're murderers, they're unrighteous, they're evil, they're wicked. There's envy, murder, quarrels, deceit, malice. He says there are gossips, slanderers, god-haters, arrogant, proud, boastful. But in that list of things that Paul says these are sin. These are.
Speaker 1:When we look at people who are Christians, who are behaving in such a way, and even the world outside, we recognize this as it's not okay. So gossiping about someone in the body of Christ creates disunity, it's divisive, it has no purpose. But again, it's one of the most accepted sins that we allow to exist because we justify our behavior. Look, I was just venting? Okay. Fire behavior like I was just venting? Okay, but were you, though? How many people did you vent to?
Speaker 1:Do you believe that it's your responsibility to go to that person who you're venting about and try to resolve the conflict you have? Biblically, the answer is yes. If you and a brother have conflict, you're supposed to go and talk to that person, have a conversation. If that doesn't work out, you take another person with you. Unity is your responsibility. It's not dependent on the other person as much as it is you, and I think that there's two things that cause disunity, and we already talked about gossip, but gossip's a big one.
Speaker 1:When we talk about people, we talk about situations or we spread rumors and we just think, well, this is okay. Listen, as someone who's a follower of Christ, no, it's not. Gossip is sin. Sin is things that we're not supposed to participate in. They're things that we're supposed to seek God and help us overcome.
Speaker 1:Gossip, at any age, at any maturity level, for a believer, is not acceptable behavior. It's not you and I will be held accountable. Not only that, but gossip is divisive. It creates, oftentimes it slanders people. It can put a bad image or a bad taste in someone's mouth because of a situation that maybe you misunderstood or maybe you were wrong in your approach. But even if you were right, gossip is still sinful.
Speaker 1:I don't want to minimize that at all, because you and I are not supposed to gossip. We're supposed to be those who seek to be peacemakers. We're called to unity in the church. Gossip is the opposite of that. That's not what God wants, that's not what God desires, that's not what God wants. That's not what God desires. And if we're a Christian who gossips and we don't have a problem with it then I think we have to really evaluate our conviction and our understanding of sin, because it's sinful Always. Paul lays it out right up there with murder and envy and greed. All of those things should not be in the life of a believer. And I know we're not perfect, I know we mess up, I know that we sin. However, grace doesn't mean we just keep doing it.
Speaker 1:At some point we have to address our responsibility when it comes to whether or not we're seeking unity or we're causing division. And I'm telling you in the church, as a member of a church, you're either seeking unity and promoting unity or you're causing division. There's no middle ground, there's no acceptable middle ground, right? So gossip is a huge one. Let's leave that on the table for now. But let's be honest with ourselves that most of our conversations are probably more gossip than we care to admit. And if that's the case, then you and I have a personal responsibility to address that and to stop that. And we've been talking about this in class that, as a believer, if someone comes up to me with gossip, it's my responsibility to lovingly rebuke them and say, listen, I don't think this is helpful.
Speaker 1:One of the things that I've kind of adapted in my own life is because people seek me for advice, right. So it's like I understand that's kind of my role, like the pastoral role. So people want to come and talk about things and try to figure things out. I don't have a problem with that, but my conversation always ends with so what's your plan to go talk to so-and-so? Because you're seeking advice from me and I'll give it to you. But what's your plan? To go and talk to them and to try to resolve this issue on their own. Or I might even say, hey, listen, have you talked to them? Because if you haven't talked to them yet, then are you going to? Because if you don't plan on talking to them. Because if you haven't talked to them yet, then are you going to? Because if you don't plan on talking to them and trying to resolve the matter, you're not seeking advice from me, you're gossiping. That's what that is, and so I, as a brother in Christ, I should hold you accountable to that.
Speaker 1:So the second part of this is Tom Rainer gets into this idea of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is a guaranteed way to cause division and not promote unity in the church, and I once heard a preacher say and I'm sure you guys have heard it, but I've heard several preachers say that choosing not to forgive someone is like drinking poison and hoping that it's going to kill them, like that's not going to work. Right, when we hold on to unforgiveness, when we hold on to that kind of bitterness with people, it affects us. It's the weirdest thing in the world, but oftentimes, when we choose not to forgive someone, we actually find out that it's awful. You might find out that it's actually not affecting their life at all, it's not nothing. It's causing them no worry, but yet for some reason you can't sleep at night. Right, your life is a mess.
Speaker 1:So Matthew 6, 14 through 15, Jesus himself says this. He said if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your Heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don't forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing. Well, but if you don't forgive people, your father will not forgive your wrongdoing. And listen, I think that that's probably one of the more honest conversations that Jesus has, and here's a lot of them, but this one's really kind of to the point. He says listen, if you don't forgive people, then God's not going to forgive you, and we and and we wrestle with that right. So so let's talk about unforgiveness when we so there's some ways I think you can tell whether or not you've really forgiven someone or you haven't.
Speaker 1:Um, so if you really, if you haven't forgiven someone, when something bad happens to them maybe not publicly but privately you're like good, good, I'm glad that happened to them, or they got what they deserved. Maybe you've had those conversations, maybe you do celebrate it publicly. Maybe you post something on social media vaguely. You post something on social media vaguely, right, come on, we're all smart enough to know that that never works. About how you know the unrighteous and the righteous. There's a level of arrogance. You know when you have forgiven someone and they walk in the room. You know you just have this instant bitterness and everything they say dumb and it doesn't make any sense and they're just trying to ruin everything and listen. That's where unforgiveness comes into play.
Speaker 1:And I just want to make this little caveat, because I think it's true, because some of us have had people do some awful stuff to us. It doesn't mean that we forget what happened, right. It doesn't mean that there's not going to be some accountability to it, right? You know, especially if it's a real world issue, if they've done something physically or mentally to hurt us, or financially, like you know, there's going to be consequences and there's nothing wrong with that being part of it. You know, when people make mistakes, they're held accountable. But your response and my response to it is to not feel like we're the ones that have to punish them, that we're not celebrating their failures all the time.
Speaker 1:Genuine forgiveness is when someone hurts me and does something to me and I can still show love and grace to that person. And I know, I know that's hard and I know I know that's hard, but forgiving someone is really for my benefit. Not only does Jesus say, if I don't forgive, god's not going to forgive me. But when I forgive someone, it takes this burden off of me. It's not my responsibility anymore. It should help me sleep better. I'm going to go and live my life and I want to accomplish what God has called me to. And God, whatever becomes of them, I leave it to Him.
Speaker 1:Because that's the hardest thing sometimes that I struggle with is when people hurt me. I want to be mad, I want to be angry, but but I'm always on the other side, convicted because the grace that God has shown me and all the stuff that I've done to him is significant, and so forgiveness is saying listen, I'm not happy with what you did to me. It's not right. You need to know that. It's not okay. I'm not going to let you keep doing it, but I hope that you find God and I hope you find grace and I hope you find peace and I hope you find forgiveness for your own things, because I want you to have what I have in God, because I need it right, and so forgiveness is a huge part of that unity, especially among believers in the church. When I feel slighted or I feel like someone's offended me once again, it's my responsibility to try to find that peace. Maybe I need to approach them. Maybe I need to be the one to have a conversation that no one wants. Maybe I don't even have that opportunity. Maybe I just need to make peace with saying God, I forgive them.
Speaker 1:The example that Tom uses in the book there's a young man that he was seeking out, you know, this prayer group that he was a part of at his church and he was enjoying the fellowship and it was a men's group, and he started the process of praying, and before he could even start praying, god kept putting images in his head of someone who had hurt him years before. And so God just kept bringing this person back to his attention and he realized that this teacher that he trusted had done some pretty awful things to him, had abused him. Teacher that he trusted had done some pretty awful things to him, had abused him and in order for him to feel the fullness of God, to really kind of tap into his prayer life, is he had to forgive that teacher. It doesn't make it okay, it doesn't minimize what happened to him, but for his own personal spiritual growth he had to forgive him. And then he goes on and talks about how it changes prayer life and all this stuff and, I think, unity in the church.
Speaker 1:There's three ways that we promote unity in the church, and it's not an inclusive, concise list. There's more than that, but in my opinion, there's three big ways that we promote unity in the church. One we you, me, we take personal responsibility for being peacemakers that we see unity as our job, our role. We're not worried about anybody else or what they're going to do. We're worried about how you and I will seek unity.
Speaker 1:Two we shut down gossip. We don't participate in it, we don't encourage it. We lovingly and gently rebuke those who participate in it because we are trying to help promote this idea that, yes, we know we're not perfect, but we're all working for the same thing, right Towards the same goal. So we shut down gossip. We call gossip sin, we acknowledge it as the sin that it is and we deal with it appropriately. And three we be people who live our life in forgiveness. We forgive others as we desire for God to forgive us, as hard as that is sometimes. We learn to forgive, and not just with our words, but we learn to forgive in the way we treat people and the way we approach them and the way we feel about them and even maybe the way we pray for them. But these three things, again, they take personal responsibility. If we can shut down gossip and if we can learn to live in forgiveness, then unity can be had. And unity is necessary for the church to flourish.
Speaker 1:Division will only cause chaos. Division will only give Satan a stepping stone to get in and to destroy ministries, leadership staff, entire churches. Division is the opposite of what Christians should seek to do, should seek to be. Unity is what we are called to, dare I say, demanded to, and the way you and I love one another shows the world that we belong to Christ. That's a lot. Belong to Christ, that's a lot. I realize that's a lot to process, but biblically, you and I are called to be those who seek and promote unity. So that's the question this week Are your conversations, are your thoughts, are your actions?
Speaker 1:Are you unifying the church you're part of, or are you causing division? Are you a gossip? Are you telling everyone's business? That's sin? Do you acknowledge that as sinful behavior? How do we fix that? How do we address it? Do you have unforgiveness towards anyone? Anything that you need to work out? These are things that we have to ask ourselves Are we unifying members of the church? Are we unifying members of the church? Because if we're not unifying the church, we're dividing it, and that's a problem. All right, have a good day Later.