Thoughts Of Some Guy In Ohio
Thoughts Of Some Guy In Ohio
Let's Talk About Church Membership Part 3
What if setting aside your personal preferences could transform your entire church experience? Join us for a captivating exploration of Tom Rainer's "I'm a Church Member" as we unravel the complexities of church membership and the art of balancing individual desires with the collective needs of a vibrant community. We share a heartfelt journey of musical evolution, where the unexpected beauty of acapella worship reshaped our understanding of worship, challenging us to prioritize biblical teachings and community service over personal inclinations.
We recount a touching story of a couple whose worship experience transformed when the husband, struggling with early onset dementia, found solace in hymns. This narrative brings to light the delicate dance between respecting diverse traditions and focusing on the mission of serving others. Through these stories, we emphasize the importance of humility, service, and creating an inclusive environment that honors the rich tapestry of church traditions while staying rooted in the gospel's core mission.
We discuss the compelling shift towards a vision of helping people refocus on Jesus, pushing personal wants aside for the greater good. By embracing the true essence of church membership—serving and supporting one another—we underscore the fulfillment found in placing others first. Through this lens of unity, love, and selflessness, we aim to inspire listeners to embrace a transformative perspective where the church is not just a part of life but a living testament to service and community.
Hey everyone. So today we're going to look at week three. We've been going through a book in our church called I'm a Church Member. It's by Tom Rainer. It's a really good read. It's called Discovering the Attitude that Makes the Difference, and I really like Tom Rainer's stuff. I think his books are really good. They're kind of short and they're simple, to the point, but they're also really practical. So week one we were talking about what it means to be a good biblical church member, right. And so week one was about how to be a functional church member. So what gifts and talents do you have that God has given you to help within the church and the servant church? Last week we talked about the importance of unity, and today we're going to talk about a title, or chapter three of his book is actually titled.
Speaker 1:I will not let my church be about my preferences and desires, and I think this is going to be probably one of the harder conversations to have Because, if we're honest, we all come to church with an idea of what we want, right? So I think about it this way Anytime you go check out a church or your church or you go check out a new church, you come to that church with a list of expectations. I want this, this and this right, this kind of worship. I want a church that serves communion every Sunday or not. You know, it matters to me what their children's ministry looks like. And listen, not all these things are bad. I'm not saying that by any means but we come to church with an expectation, and when the church doesn't live up to our expectation, we feel as though the church has failed or that particular church has failed, and so part of the attitude that we're talking about here is not allowing those things to get in the way of serving in a local church or being involved in a local church, kind of putting those things on the back burner, right, and looking at it as I come to church. The reason that I'm here is to worship God, and can I do that? Here Is the church I'm attending. Are they teaching biblically sound things? Because I think that's an important question. Are they teaching the things that they should be out of scripture? Are they worshiping God? Are they serving the community? These are things that I think are really important to the health of a church, right, and so when we come to a church, when we're part of a church, it's really easy to allow what we want to get in the way. So let me give you an example and actually I have two, so one. So just give me an idea.
Speaker 1:I grew up in. I didn't start going to church until like the late 90s, early 2000s, so by the time that I was part of a church, the music in church and I'm going to try not to talk about this too long, but when you talk about preferences and desires, music tends to be the big one the music in church was significantly different than it was even 10 years before, right, so the kind of music that I grew up with listening to church you know there's a lot of newsboys influence and you had a lot of hell songs. So that was kind of early on. You know I grew up listening. I didn't grow up, but when I started listening to Christian music it was like you know, you had Tubby, mac and Tate and DC Talk and Audio, adrenaline and reliant K, and so the worship kind of modeled that as well. Worship at the time was a little more heavier. You know a lot of churches were switching over to bands and guitars and drums, and it's actually interesting because the first church that I went to, I hadn't been there very long and you know I'd given my life to Jesus. And the youth pastor who came in was like hey, we're starting a worship band and like for the youth, would you be interested in playing? I was like I don't play anything because I can teach you how to play bass. Okay, that's fine. So I learned how to play bass. I've been playing bass now, uh, going on, man, 20, 23 years, that's yeah, that's kind of weird to think about. Uh, and then a couple years later, like I picked up drums and so that's like kind of the music style that I grew up with. So I've always been drawn to churches that have that kind of modern, contemporary worship.
Speaker 1:Me personally, I'm not a fan of hymns and that's nothing, excuse me, that's nothing against hymns, that's nothing against hymns, it's just not my style of worship. And so I remember when I first started working at a church, it was actually this church. So this is my second time here at Refocused Christian Church. It was interesting, but that's a bigger story.
Speaker 1:When I was first working here, we were encouraged one year to go to a work camp, and so this work camp was in Vienna, west Virginia, and the point was. We took a group of students and we went and we painted houses, right. And so we get there and that night we get in and we get there for worship, and as we get into the worship atmosphere, I realize that there's no instruments at all. It's acapella worship. Now, mind you, the difference being, the group that was leading worship did have a guy who did like beatboxing and stuff, which I thought was really cool. It added to it, but in reality I had never worshiped in an atmosphere like that. So my first night there, I had a hard time with that. I struggled because that's not what I was used to, that's not what I wanted, right.
Speaker 1:And so the next day I spent some time getting to know people and I connect with a man by the name of Haas Ridgeway and he was leading um, you know the worship. You know that week that we were there and, and what's interesting is, I remember, uh, the night before, like I saw Haas and big dude like me and I was like man, I'm just gonna, that guy's going to be my friend someday and he turned out to actually become a really good friend, which I think is really cool, but him and I kind of connected and we were talking about it, I got to talk with him a little bit about his heart and who he was and the worship he was leading and it really kind of convicted me because I realized that here this guy loves Jesus probably more than I do and he's up there worshiping man and he's giving it his all and he's leading us in worship, and so for the rest of the week I really pressed myself to get over myself and to realize that even in an environment like that that I could still worship God right. So I think that that was a pivotal moment in my own personal growth. So a couple years later I'm working in another church in Columbus and that was the church that I went to after I originally was. You know, I worked here as the youth pastor and so I get up there and I'm there for about a year and I've gotten to know some of the families and connect with you know some of the people there and there was a decent amount of older people.
Speaker 1:But there was one lady in particular who always, uh, every time she would write in her name for um, like the login sheet for the day, like let us know you're here, attendance, or whatever. She would always write next to her name we need to do more hymns. And it was something that that I always thought was interesting, because you know, the church that at the time was more contemporary and we were moving in that direction and she'd always want to write. You know, she'd always want to do more hymns. And of course in my mind I'm thinking, oh, I don't want to sing more hymns, I don't want to sing any hymns. Once again, nothing wrong with them, it's just not my preference, right.
Speaker 1:And so I got to know her and her husband pretty well and there was one time that I was hanging out at their house and we were just talking and I just I asked, I was like, why is it that you, you seem to always want to do hymns and we read every Sunday that this is your request. And so she kind of got serious and she said, listen, she said, well, one, it's what I grew up with, so it's something that I enjoy. And two, her husband had kind of early onset dementia, so his mind wasn't quite as sharp as it used to be right. And she said that one of the things she noticed is when we did contemporary worship he really wasn't engaged, he just couldn't stay focused and I think part of that was the dementia. But whenever we sang a hymn she said it was just his whole demeanor changed and he was singing all the words and he knew and there was something about his memory that brought that back right. And so that for me, changed another thought process, changed another thought process because I realized that that I might not have wanted to do hymns, but that was, that was kind of selfish, because here, this, this husband, this husband and wife, and particularly the husband, that's what he needed, right.
Speaker 1:And so one of the things that we're going to talk about is figuring out what's that balance between not allowing my own selfish desires and preferences to get in the way of the work of the church. And listen, that goes on both sides of this argument. Whether you're a young generation or an older generation, that question, I think, has to be wrestled with. Generation or an older generation, that question I think, has to be wrestled with. We're at a time in history where the generation gap in churches is significant. The average church has about five generations represented. And listen, that's a whole lot of change. I mean, that's a whole lot of opinions and ideas.
Speaker 1:And so when Tom Rainer is talking about this, he actually gives us an example, right, there's a moment when Jesus is talking with his disciples and they're actually kind of over here arguing about who's going to be the best and who's going to be number one and who's going to sit at the right hand, and all of this right, and so they're having this conversation. I think his egos go. You know who's the one that Jesus loves the most? And so Jesus kind of stops this conversation, and so we'll pick this up here in Mark 9, verse 35. Jesus stops this conversation and it says, sitting down, he called the twelve and said so he's kind of turned this entire thing on its head. They're arguing for what they want, they're arguing for. You know how can this benefit me? And Jesus says hold on, it's not about you, it's about other people.
Speaker 1:Paul reflects on this in Ephesians 3.7. Paul says I was made a servant of this gospel by the gift of God's grace that was given to me by the working of his power. You know, he talks about this idea of we're called to serve others, right, and when it comes to the things that we want, the things that we desire in our preferences, a lot of that is very much it's me. This is what I want, this is what I like. I don't care about you, I don't care what you need, I don't care what's beneficial, you're going to do what I want. And that kind of attitude, I would argue, is just unbiblical. And it's not that it's wrong to have opinions and desires and to want things the way that we've experienced them. Listen, I get that. I can worship to a hymn, I can worship a cappella. That's a maturity thing. I think I've grown into that. But if I had to pick, I'm definitely more contemporary and I know that we're talking about worship a lot, but I think that's because that's where so much of this conversation comes from. But just in general, the way that church operates, everything about the church. It's not about me.
Speaker 1:Most church leadership, most pastors, most staff on churches will tell you that the decisions they make are to help people better and further their relationship with God. Man in church are a reflection of usually a lot of thoughtful time spent and a lot of prayer and asking God and seeking him and saying, hey, listen, what are we supposed to be doing next? And some of that requires change. We recently went through a name change. We were the Fallen View Church of Christ. We have been for a very long time and we recently about two years ago, on Easter went through a name change and now we're Refocus Christian Church, and that's a big change. But the reason for that is because the idea of refocusing actually fits what our vision is helping people refocus on Jesus. That's our goal, right? The other part of it is calling ourselves a Christian church. We're letting people know that we are an instrumental church. You know, if you know anything about the Church of Christ, most churches of Christ are not instrumental and I think we've confused some people. So our decision to change the name is really about helping us to keep the vision in front of us, but it's also letting those who are seeking for a church to find the type of church they're looking for.
Speaker 1:Once again, it goes back to preferences, right, it goes back to opinions and desires. Not wrong to have those things, but we can't allow our desires to get in the way of serving and working in a church. And what happens, I think, a lot of times is when we don't get our way. We either complain and we try to make things happen and want to happen. Maybe we stop giving to the church because we don't like the way things are going. Maybe we leave and on the way out we leave a bad taste in not only the mouth of the people we serve with, but in the community where that church is right. You know the things we say about it, the things we complain about, and in all of those things, all it does is create division, all it does is create disunity.
Speaker 1:Part of of being part of a church, especially the church as a whole, and being a member of a church is about serving those around me. Uh, seeing others is better than myself, right that? That that's scriptural, that idea that I'm going to put you and what you need above me. And that's really hard to do because, if we're honest, we like the things we like and we like things the way they are. So when things change, we get frustrated, we find ourselves annoyed, we find ourselves annoyed, we find ourselves complaining and we never stop to ask why? Why were these changes made? Why did people want to worship this way? Why is the worship team more contemporary? Why is the church focused on doing things like small groups and we call ours community groups? Why are we focused on having these classes versus these classes. Why are we doing? Community outreach, like all of these things, can become a burden for us if we feel like our needs are not being met.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing being part of a church and being a church member is asking yourself is what we're doing furthering the kingdom of God? Is what we're doing allowing the gospel message to be spread? Are we connecting with people who are unchurched? Are we helping people who are part of their church grow and mature and become disciples? Are we making sure that these things are happening and there's a reason for why they're happening or are we just annoyed because we're not getting what we want?
Speaker 1:And I think that that's a hard question, because I think that's something we should wrestle with every time we come into the church. Listen, coming to church on Sunday morning or Saturday night or whenever you go like part of coming to church is you're coming to worship God and God alone. That's why we gather to worship Him, to spend time in His Word, to be transformed by the teachings of Scripture. It's all about God. But when we come to church and make it about ourselves, we're not going to have a good experience. We're not going to like what's going on. You know and I don't know if I've ever said this here, but I've said this before that really the only reason that I ever think anyone should leave a church is because the church that they're part of is teaching unbiblical truths. I think those are like when leadership is making poor decisions that are not scriptural, when they're allowing teaching to happen. I think that those are moments to kind of question what's happening and maybe not even leave, but just kind of help. Course correct.
Speaker 1:But the reason why most people leave churches has nothing to do with that. It's because they didn't get what they wanted out of the church. Because they came in to with the mentality that I'm here for me, this is about me, I'm going to do what I want, and if I don't get what I want, then I'm just not going to be here or I'm going to stick around and cause division and disruption until I get what I want because I'm not happy. That's not what we're called to do. We are called to serve each other, to consider others better than ourselves, to focus on Jesus.
Speaker 1:Tom Rainer writes this. He he says we will never find joy in church membership when we are constantly seeking things our way. But paradoxically, we will find the greatest joy when we choose to be last. That's what Jesus meant when he said the last to be first. True joy means giving up our rights and preferences and serving everyone else, and that's what church membership means as well, and I like that statement. But I also know that it's a hard one to swallow, because to put others above myself is biblical. But the very selfish, human side of me doesn't want that. I want what I want. I want things to be my way. It goes back to something that he's been talking about in his book so far is we have this country club mentality with churches that it's all about me. If I pay my dues, I get what I want, and that's not how this works.
Speaker 1:Healthy churches serve each other. The members serve each other. They love each other. Healthy churches promote unity, not division. A healthy church member promotes unity, not division. Healthy church members they're functioning, they're working, they're serving, they're doing what they're supposed to be to help grow the body of the church as a whole. Listen, it's really kind of disappointing, but in the area that we are right. So this church that I'm part of now is in Follinger, west Virginia. I did a demographic study a couple years ago and it's probably just a little bit, but at the time that I did it probably just a little bit, but at the time that I did it, within a 20-mile radius of where I sit, there was about 127 different churches. Now, listen, some of that comes from church plants, some of that churches were spread out to try to get in the communities where people were maybe didn't have a church.
Speaker 1:But I would argue that a lot of that has come from divisions and splits because we, as members of churches couldn't work together. So, because we couldn't work together, we decided to just go and do our own thing and make it about us. And I'm not saying that that's the case for every situation, because I don't know every church, but what I can say is I think it should be alarming to us that there's so many different churches around us. I mean denominational splits. I think that's such a difficult task because those splits have all come from the fact that we couldn't figure out how to work together. From the fact that we couldn't figure out how to work together. Part of that division is because we allow our preferences and our desires to get in the way of what God's calling us to do and then the world looks at that and says why would I want to be a part of something that can't work itself out, that can't even be unified in its own front right?
Speaker 1:And once again I think it comes back to as a healthy church member, I am looking to promote and work from within the church I'm part of to make it better, to make sure that the church that I'm part of is staying on task right. They're on mission and the mission is to reach the lost, to go into all the world you know Jesus says this right at the end of Matthew To go into all the world, baptizing them in the name of the Father, son and Holy Spirit, teaching them to believe everything that I have instructed them, discipling them right and then going to the ends of the earth to make this happen. That's the mission. The mission of the gospel is to go into the world and teach you about Jesus and to make disciples who make disciples. Everything else is just how we do it and that changes over time. We adjust. We use more technology now than we ever have. The worship style of a lot of churches have changed for one reason or another. We're trying to engage the next generation because we want to engage them and help them and raise them up to become disciples and disciple their kids. And 20 years from now the church might experience different changes and I'm going to be in my 50s, almost 60 years old. That's weird to think about and I'm going to have to wrestle with that.
Speaker 1:But I should never allow my opinions, my preferences, my desire to things. I should never allow those things to get in the way of fellowshipping with other believers, especially those in my own church. I shouldn't allow that to cause division or strife Doesn't mean I can't have an opinion, but I shouldn't allow that to become a breaking point. And then two I think that if we're being honest, we shouldn't allow those things to stop us from serving and being part of the church. We shouldn't allow those things to allow us to become bitter and complaining. And you know we're always trying to get in the way. Or we're stopping things, or we're going to sit around and complain until someone finally listens. We're going to sit around and complain until someone finally listens Listen. None of those things help the church. Sitting around and complaining because you don't like something at your church doesn't help the church at all.
Speaker 1:I have never, ever in my experience, had an encounter with someone who complained about everything and made it well known and used that to cause issues and strife in the church. I've never had anyone who's done that, who has said man that really made my experience better and man that really helped further the gospel Never, and that. In there lies the challenge, right, because we have to realize that we're part of something bigger, that God has called me to sacrifice, and sometimes I sacrifice the things that I want because it's for the good of the church overall, it's for the good of my community. Listen, I come to church on Sunday mornings to worship the God who created me. All the other junk that comes with me is supposed to stay at the door. All the other ideas and thoughts I have are supposed to stay at the door.
Speaker 1:I've come for the sole purpose of worshiping God and loving my brothers and sisters in Christ and meeting them where they are. My opinions and preferences are there, they're valid, but I can't allow those to cause division and strife and this idea that, well, now, I can't worship next to so-and-so because I don't like what they like, or I can't worship the God who created me, the God who died for me, because, well, there's just one too many guitars, or that's too many hymns to sing, or, oh man, they have an organ. Or why is there no instruments at all? I can't allow those things to get in the way of furthering my relationship with God, of honoring God and praising God, because when I do, I'm making it all about me. And if you paid attention at all, so much of what's happened or so much of what this book is talking about is my personal reaction to things. I can't control anything else around me, but I can control how I handle it and what I do and what decisions I make.
Speaker 1:And if I'm coming in the church and it's all about me and here's the honest truth If I'm coming in a church and it's all about me, I'm never going to be happy at that church, and I'm probably never going to be happy in any church that I ever go to, because I'm always going to find fault. I'm always going to find something that I don't like. When I say misery loves company, right, I'm always going to find a reason to complain. But if I can come in with the approaches, listen, I'm here for God, I'm here for the kingdom. My focus is on the one who created me. My focus is on loving and serving my brothers and sisters in Christ. If I can take the focus off of me and put it where it belongs Christ, if I can take the focus off of me and put it where it belongs, then your experience is going to be exponentially better.
Speaker 1:What makes the church so unique, apart from the generational gap, is it's a bunch of people with different backgrounds, different experiences, different ideas, who come together for the sole purpose of being unified in the worship of the God who created them. Where we falter is when we lose sight of that. When we start making it about us, we lose sight of the purpose of the church. And the purpose of the church is to point people to Jesus and then help them develop a better relationship with God and then encourage them to worship the God who made them, the God who died for them. And when we start to see, when we start to focus on God and we start to focus on loving those around us, all those other desires, preferences, things like that don't seem as big of a deal, because my focus isn't on me, but it's on those around me. But that's a decision that you and I have to make.
Speaker 1:I would argue.
Speaker 1:Every time we come in the church on Sunday morning. I would argue. Every time we serve together the church on Sunday morning, I would argue every time we serve together an event or we spend time with believers, it has to be about God, it has to be about the greater good serving and loving those around me. If I want to be first, I have to be last, and that kind of attitude is intentional. We have to seek to be last, and that's not easy to do. But when we keep making it about us, you're never going to be happy, you're never going to like your church, you're never going to enjoy serving in the kingdom of God, because you're always going to find a reason to complain if all you think about is you.
Speaker 1:So let me leave that there and let me challenge you to. Maybe that's where you are right now. Maybe you're in a season of life where you don't like things and your church is changing and things are shifting and you're not sure why. Let me encourage you to press in, press in, get involved, be focused on God, pray for those around you, look at the community that you might be serving, press in on your leaders and what are they thinking and where are they headed and why are these decisions being made? And I pray that they give you the why.
Speaker 1:I think that's such an important thing is to give you the why. But ask yourself this hill that I'm willing to die on is it really worth dying on, or is God calling me to something bigger? Or is God calling me to something bigger? What does it mean to really be last and to serve others and to see others as better than myself? I think a lot of our churches would be a lot healthier if we could answer that question and not just answer that question but actually apply it to everything we do.
Speaker 1:The church is God's anyways. It's not ours, we're part of it, but it's His church. How can I serve in His church? How can I love His people? How can I not make this about me today?
Speaker 1:And I think that shift in perspective, that shift in attitude, will surprise you. I do. I think it will surprise how you feel, how you think, how you serve, how you love people in your church. I think it will surprise you. Let's seek to be unified. Let's seek to love those around us, to serve those around us, to see each other as better than ourselves. I think that's important. I think that's the mentality that Jesus adopted, and he adopted it well. He didn't come here to be served. He came to serve. That's significant. The creator of the universe showed up in the world in the form of a man who came to give his life sacrificially for those who need it. He came to serve those around him and he did that very well. Imagine if we chose to love each other in such a way that we served each other first, instead of making it about us, making it about me.