The Worlds Okayest Pastor

Finding Your Village: Why No Parent Should Journey Alone

• Jason Cline

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Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by the weight of parenting? You're not alone—and you were never meant to be. 

In this powerful closing message of our Family Values series, we explore how even Moses—a man who stood in the presence of God multiple times—reached his breaking point when leading the Israelites. When the burden became too heavy, God didn't tell him to "try harder" or "suck it up." Instead, He provided 70 helpers to share the load.

The myth that "God won't give you more than you can handle" isn't just wrong—it's dangerous. If we could handle everything ourselves, we wouldn't need God or each other. The truth is, our burdens are sometimes designed to be too heavy for us alone, pushing us to embrace community.

Every culture has proverbs emphasizing the value of sharing life's loads: "Many hands make light work," "If you want to go far, go together," and "When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion." These wisdom traditions mirror the biblical truth in Galatians 6:2—"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

For families trying to raise children in faith today, the church should be that village of support. Not a place of judgment where you need to appear perfect, but a family where your messy, beautiful, imperfect journey is embraced. Whether you're a single parent, a struggling teen, an elderly widow, or someone who's been rejected elsewhere, God places the lonely in families.

Our challenge: Find someone in the church you've never connected with and take them to lunch this week. Because a healthy family isn't about doing everything right—it's about showing up when we need each other.

Speaker 1:

So we're going to be finishing up our series on family values, and last week, john was in the book of Acts and he talked about the importance of coming together as believers. Right, when we talk about church family I love that terminology because the church is supposed to be like a family. Now, the problem with that is, all families have problems, right, we're not perfect. We're human. We struggle. But strong, healthy families learn how to function together. That's important. They learn to overcome their differences, they learn to overcome their problems and, if they really love each other, they learn to practice forgiveness and grace. That's what defines a healthy family, and we see this all the time. Right, we see this in a lot of depictions on TV shows and things like that. There's always these families that they have these moments where they're kind of like fighting each other, but then there's something that kind of brings them together. Maybe it's the death of a loved one, maybe it's a tragedy, maybe it's a celebration of new life, but in those moments we see that these people can overcome who they are in order to be together as one. And you and I have Jesus. That's the thing that unites all of us. And you and I have Jesus. That's the thing that unites all of us, no matter where we come from, no matter who we are, no matter our background, no matter our job, none of it matters, because the one thing that connects us is our relationship with God. That is what defines us as a family. That is our motivation for everything that we do. We come together for the sole purpose of building the kingdom, and so sometimes we have to overcome ourselves. Right, that's one of the biggest struggles we have is we have to overcome our preferences, our ideas, our thoughts, and we have to be collective and we have to be moving forward. And John talked about this last week. The early church did that really well. They didn't mean they didn't struggle. If you ever read Paul's letter to the Corinthians, you realize they struggled. If you ever read Romans, there was some division there. Right, philippians is one of the churches that Paul praised because they did so well. But again, churches have struggles, but the goal has to be we're working together and as families, are we striving towards a single focus?

Speaker 1:

I talk about this a lot because my kids are great sermon examples. I try not to do that a ton, but, man, they just like offer up stuff sometimes, but, like Miles in particular, has learned that if I say no and if he can go catch Danny in the other room and she hadn't heard me say no he'll ask her the same question and she might say yes. Now we picked up on this a couple of weeks ago, and so from now on, when I tell him no, I immediately text her. I said no, right, because it's important for us as parents to be together. We've got to be kind of united in this front, and so that's what John talked about last week, so this week we're going to talk about the burden that we carry. If we're honest, raising kids is tough. It's not for the weak. I never understood I tell my kids this, but I've told my mom this I never appreciated how much my mom did for me until I had my own kids.

Speaker 1:

My mom raised three boys. I have no idea how, because my boys are nuts, but like my brothers and I, we were insane. We, we broke my grandmother. We were, we were a violent bunch. On my grandma's house, which is where danny's mom lives now, she had a glass screen door that I have been thrown through three times. She eventually put plexiglass up, but that still broke too, just in a different fashion, but my brothers and I always had these knock down, drag out fights and I was always the one going through the glass in front because I was bigger than both of them. But I look back on growing up and the one thing that I remember is that my mom never did it alone, never. We lived next to my grandparents almost my entire life, except for when we lived in Virginia. My uncle, who passed away a couple years ago, was always kind of like that, really older brother to us. My grandfather was like my dad a lot of times and I remember my mom never did it alone and she shouldn't have.

Speaker 1:

Parenting is hard. We're not meant to carry this burden by ourselves. So we're actually going to be in the book of Numbers and we're actually going to use the book of Numbers, and I promise it's not just all numbers in the book of Numbers, there are other things that happen in the book of Numbers. We're going to be in Numbers, chapter 11. We're going to be looking at Moses and some of the struggles that he had as he led the people of Israel out of Egypt and listen. I cannot imagine being Moses and listening to some of these complaints, but he was surrounded by people who at times were very ungrateful. There's moments when they cry out wishing to go back to Egypt. Can you imagine that? Wanting to go back to slavery simply because things were too hard? So starting? We're actually going to start in verse 1, sorry, it says.

Speaker 1:

Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them, his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. When the people cried out to Moses, he prayed to the Lord and the fire died down, so that place was called Tibera. He prayed to the Lord and the fire died down, so that place was called Tibera because fire from the Lord had burned among them. Now let's be honest as parents, how many times have your kids complained and you kind of wish you could have done some fire in the moment?

Speaker 1:

So as the rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said if only we had meat to eat. We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost. Also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlics. Now we have lost our appetite. We never see anything but this manna. The manna was like coriander seed and looked like resin. The people went around gathering it and then ground it in a hand mill or crushed it into mortar. They cooked it in a pot or made it in the loaves, and it tasted like something made with olive oil. Then the dew settled on the camp at night and also the manna came down. So Moses heard the people of every family wailing at the entrance to their tents and the Lord became exceedingly angry and Moses was troubled. So here he is.

Speaker 1:

He is trying his very best to lead these people out of Egypt, and they're mad because God's providing for them, but it's not what they want. We're just eating manna all the time and we know that we were trapped in slavery and we had to do laborious work, but at least we had fish, at least we had cucumbers and melons, at least they fed us. It must have been horrible. They killed us, they beat us, but at least we had food. Killed us, they beat us, but at least we had food. And so Moses is kind of stuck in the middle because he's trying to live the way God wants him to live, but he's also trying to lead, at this time, these really ungrateful people. And you see, he actually intercedes on their behalf. God brings down fire and Moses stops and he prays and God lets up.

Speaker 1:

But Moses is burdened. He's burdened with what do we do next? How do I best serve these people? How do I lead these people? How do I lead these people?

Speaker 1:

Leading a family to follow Jesus can sometimes feel like a burden. You and I, we live in a culture that isn't overly supportive of that. They don't understand church. They don't understand being part of a faith community. They question why we believe what we believe. They try to convince us that the way we raise our kids is wrong. And I realize that it's probably not everywhere, not everyone is like that, but I've had enough people in my life that have challenged that and it feels like a burden. How do we raise our kids to be true worshipers of the God who created them? Listen, burden in Scripture is not uncommon.

Speaker 1:

Paul writes this in 2 Corinthians, 1, 8 through 9. He says we are under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Read through the Psalms David wrote so many times of being in deep anguish, struggling with what to do next. Jesus when he's in the garden Matthew 26, 38,. He says that he's overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. He says that he's overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

Speaker 1:

You know one of the more popular sayings that has kind of come out of like niche christianese. You ever heard that? Like people say christianese, like we use language that christians use, and people say all the time well, god will never give you more than you can handle. By the way, way not biblical. It's not true. It's not, because if the burden, if you could carry the burden yourself, there'd be no need for him, there'd be no need for us. If you could handle all of your burdens yourself, then God would cease to be necessary. But instead we see throughout Scripture that people are overwhelmed with burden, sometimes to the point where they can't endure it. Jesus in the garden. He's so overwhelmed with sorrow he says he's overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

Speaker 1:

Burden is a normal thing that you and I face, and so Moses, in this situation, is overwhelmed with the task of leadership. He's trying to lead these people who just don't get it. They won't listen and they grumble, they're tense and they complain daily. And so he has to figure out what's he going to do. How do we lead when we're feeling overwhelmed? What do we do? You know, I think it's interesting as parents and this is something that I've kind of picked up along the way is, a lot of times, as parents, we put ourselves in a vacuum. We think that I'm the only one who has kids that act like this. It's only my kids that are acting up in church and smacking each other in the back of the head. It's only my teenagers that are acting up in church and smacking each other in the back of the head. It's only my teenagers that are out there doing stuff that they shouldn't be doing. It's only my older kids that have walked away from God. We convince ourselves that it's our burden and we do our best to not put that burden on other people.

Speaker 1:

I remember when Dan and I first had kids. For the longest time we wouldn't let my mom babysit the kids alone, and she never understood why. And one day she asked me and she's like I'm not a good grandma, but that's not it. I'm like, mom, you raised us. I don't want you to feel like you have to raise my kids all the time. And she looked at me and she said the only way I got through this life was because your grandparents helped me and I want to help you. And it's interesting because I never thought of it that way. Right, because I was convinced that my mom had done her job. It wasn't her job to raise my kids. But here's the thing she's not raising my kids, she's coming alongside us, she's helping carry some of that burden, some of the stress of those moments. And so often, as parents, we convince ourselves that there's no one around me that can understand what I'm going through, and so we hide ourselves away, we carry the burden alone, we put on a fake smile and we act like everything's okay and, if we're honest, we can't handle it. It's too much.

Speaker 1:

And so, moses, he's at this moment, and he's at a point where he doesn't know what to do because the people just won't stop. Being in. That kind of leadership is crazy, it's hard. So, moses, he's overwhelmed and he goes on to say that he would rather die than do this alone. He just doesn't want to do it anymore.

Speaker 1:

And God responds in an incredibly compassionate way. He doesn't rebuke him, he doesn't chastise him, he doesn't tell him deal with it, doesn't rebuke him, he doesn't chastise him, he doesn't tell him deal with it. He doesn't tell him to suck it up, he doesn't tell him to figure it out. He says, starting in verse 16, he said the Lord said to Moses, bring me 70 of Israel's elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people, and have them come to the tent, meaning that they may stand there with you. I will come down and will speak with you there and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them and they will share the burden of the people with you, so that you will not have to carry it alone. So God's response in burden is to provide people to help carry the burden. It's not to make you stronger, it's not to make you feel like you can't, but it's a simple response of if you need help, just ask and I'll give you help.

Speaker 1:

And a lot of times, I think, when we approach God, we want this miraculous, like when we're going through something difficult. We want God to just show up and instantly, like in our spirit, we're just good. But we miss the fact that a lot of times what he does is he brings people into our lives, people that carry us, people that support us, people that help come alongside us, people that help come alongside us. And this idea is not new to the world, right? So let's look at some proverbs, just from around the world that we see. It says many hands make light work. If you've ever done a job, it's true the more people you have, oftentimes, the easier it is to get it done. I don't know if you know this. A couple weeks ago we decorated the VBS float in one hour. I was shocked, because that's usually like an into the evening event, but we knocked it out in one hour.

Speaker 1:

It says here's another one. This is an African proverb. It says if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. This is a Hopi proverb. It says one finger cannot lift a pebble. Another African proverb A single tree does not make a forest. This is an English proverb. It says two heads are better than one. Then there's a Kenyan proverb. It says a child does not grow up only in a single home. You have an Ethiopian Proverb which says when spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion. That's my favorite. I would love to see a lion tied up in a spider web. And then you have an African-American Proverb. It says one teach one. So this idea of coming together collectively is when you go to other countries.

Speaker 1:

It was really neat because when I was in Africa, that idea of it takes a village is such a true statement, because you have all these. There's one village where we were in and there were these kids. Everywhere. There were tons of kids and I couldn't tell you who was the parent and who wasn't, because whenever the kid needed something, someone showed up to help them. There was this collective community that were taking care of each other, were providing for each other, were sharing this burden together. There was this little boy who was walking to school. It was crazy. I think he was Griffin's age, so he was probably six or seven, and he was walking to school and it was like a two-mile walk. And so we're like driving down the road and I see this little kid and I'm like this kid is by himself walking two miles down the road and the guy we were there with says these kids are never alone. Just because you don't see an adult doesn't mean there's not one watching out for them. That's the culture here. We look out for each other's kids. We look out for each other. When our neighbors have needs, we take care of them.

Speaker 1:

John talked about this last week. But the early church, that's what guided them initially. They came together and they shared burdens. They sold what they had need and they gave to those who needed it. They collectively came together for the sole purpose of loving God and loving each other, for the sole purpose of loving God and loving each other. We see it in Scripture, ecclesiastes 4, 9-10.

Speaker 1:

Two are better than one. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. 1 Corinthians 12, 21. The eye cannot say to the hand I don't need you. Paul is talking about the body. The eye has a purpose, but so does the hand. You can't separate them. Galatians 6.2 says Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the laws of Christ, will fulfill the laws of Christ.

Speaker 1:

And so Moses comes to God and he says I don't know what to do. All these people complaining I'm tired, it's heavy, it's hard. Life right now is just not what I want it to be. And God says okay, let me get you some help. Find me 70 men that can help carry this burden with you. Find me 70 men who you trust, and I will give the same spirit to them that I gave to you, and they will help you lead these people.

Speaker 1:

Moses was an incredible human being, did amazing things for the kingdom, led the people out of captivity, crossed the Red Sea, wandered in the wilderness, stood before a burning bush. I mean, he had encounter after encounter with God. He was a man filled with the Spirit, was in the presence of God more than once. If there was anyone that we look at in Scripture who was like this with God, he was it and he still needed help. So what makes you and I think we don't why do we convince ourselves that we don't need each other? Why do we convince ourselves that we can go through life alone? Listen, I've had this conversation before and it almost drives me insane because I know the culture we live in and people say, well, I don't need a church. Yes, you do. And listen, I don't know what that looks like. A church looks different. There's home churches that are popping up all over this country right now which are pretty fascinating. I think culturally we're moving back to that, and when I say you need a church I'm not talking about like a physical location like this, but you need other believers who you are gathered with regularly and building life with together. That is what we are called to do.

Speaker 1:

Being a Christian was never meant to be a solo endeavor. Ever. Raising our kids wasn't meant to be that way either. Some of you don't have kids anymore. They're grown. Some of you you're on grandkids and some of you are on great-grandkids, and some of you might even be on great-great-grandkids. But there are families here with young kids that need you to come alongside them, to love them, to help them navigate the things that are going on, and it's not about correcting or disciplining, but it's about being together as a community and saying, hey, listen, your burden is my burden. We are in this together.

Speaker 1:

For the young families that are here, you are not alone, no matter how alone you feel. Young families that are here, you are not alone. No matter how alone you feel, no matter what your kid is doing someone else's kid has done it already too no matter how tired you are, how overwhelmed you are, you're not alone, even if you feel that way. The church is supposed to be this family that comes together and we lift each other up. As we carry each other's burdens, the burden becomes less.

Speaker 1:

I think so often people miss that. I think people miss that in the church because their involvement in church is just on Sunday morning. They're not connected throughout the week. They're not living and doing life with other Christians. They've convinced themselves that they have to do this alone and they show up for an hour and a half once a week and they never come back and then they feel disconnected and they can't figure out why. And it's because we're not living together. Listen, I'm not saying we have to live in a giant commune together. Those are cults. We don't do that. Okay, that's not what I'm saying. That's weird. I'm against that. I just want to clarify that.

Speaker 1:

But doing life together means that we have shared experiences. We go to each other's kids' baseball games. We have a really cool opportunity. We do cub scouts once a week and that that's. That's like a little family for us, our, our community group that we have. We meet once a week on thursdays coolest time ever, man. I love it. Everyone comes over. It's a reason for us to clean our house, which is a good reason for you guys to come over, because this summer has been rough, I'm just saying. But it's a reason for us to get together. We eat and our kids do life together. We do life together. Listen, when I talk about these community groups, we're not talking about another Bible study. That's a part of it, that's important. But we're talking about building relationships with other believers who are walking the same path that you are. It's necessary, it has to happen. You and I were not meant to do it alone. If Moses couldn't handle it on his own, why do you think you have to? I would never, ever compare myself to him or the life that he lived, but he was overwhelmed, he was burdened. I said it a few seconds ago.

Speaker 1:

But the idea that it takes a village to raise a child Listen, some people don't have a village. This is from Michelle Hainer in Parents Magazine. It says sometimes there really isn't a village because you live far away from friends or family and other times your child doesn't fit the mold of the village, is willing or able to care for. She says sometimes there's not a village and that's hard. But when we look at the church, the church is supposed to be that village for people. Everyone who comes into this place is welcome. We're not looking for perfection. We're looking for people who are genuinely trying to seek and become like Jesus. So if your kids are acting up on Sunday morning, bring them anyways. I'd rather them be here than not.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you have kids that have strayed away and they've fallen away and you're worried about them. Pray for them. Let us know so we can pray for them. Maybe you're worried about how people will perceive you because your life is not all put together. Hi, my name is Jason. Neither is mine. Come as you are, be part of the family of God. Let us rise up and support each other and be the church we're supposed to be. Let us be a family, because that's what God wants. You and I are not meant to do this alone, so stop trying to figure it out on your own.

Speaker 1:

We were at Cub Scouts a couple weeks ago and I was embarrassed on Saturday night because Miles was just being all of Miles, like he was touching stuff and messing with other people's tent and he was peeking in tent windows for some reason. I don't know what was going on, but I was like at my limit and I was stressed and so I made him like sit next to me for a little while, because in my mind, if I could just get him to sit down and not do anything, he'll be fine. By the way, that's like the worst thing for a kid. And I remember that I was overwhelmed and I was almost embarrassed and at some point I told Dana we should just go home, like I don't want to be here. And she looked at me and she agreed Right, because as parents we get in our heads that it's only my kid that acts like this.

Speaker 1:

And so Sunday, sunday morning, we were cleaning up and getting packed up and everything, and we were talking with Dave and Alicia and I just kind of was telling Dave that I was struggling a little bit and he looked at me and he laughed and he said you act like you're the only one that has a problem with your kids. I was like you know what? You're right, they're kids, man. My family is never going to be perfect, as much as I want them to. Neither is yours, but this is still the best place for them. I'm going to do everything I can to raise my kids to follow after God. That's my goal, man, but I don't have to do it alone, and neither do you. We should be coming and supporting each other, not criticizing, not chastising, not overly correcting, but in grace and a loving way say listen, I understand where you've been and I'm trying to help you get where you can go. Because in the moment that Moses was at his weakest, god doesn't correct him, he supports him. He doesn't condemn him for the fact that he can't handle it. He says gather me 70 men and I will give you what you need. You and I, as a church family, should be supporting those who are part of our family, no matter where they come from, no matter what they do, no matter who they are, because that's what the church is supposed to be. It says I love this. It says at its best, the church becomes what many long for but lack a family. It said.

Speaker 1:

Research estimates that one in four people experience estrangement from a family member and one in ten have cut ties with a parent or child. It's not just a statistic. It's someone sitting in your pews and one in ten have cut ties with a parent or child. It's not just a statistic. It's someone sitting in your pews and it may be you. This reality reminds us that healthy whole family relationships, biological or spiritual, don't happen by accident. They take intention, empathy and grace.

Speaker 1:

Psalm 68.6 tells us God places the lonely in families. This isn't just poetic. This is the mission for our church. So we are called to be that family For the single parent doing it alone, for the teen whose home isn't safe, for the elderly widow with no one to call for, the person who's been rejected because they didn't fit the mold. This requires more than a program. It requires people who will lay down pride, open their lives and lead with love. So let's be the kind of church that no one has to carry their burdens alone and where God's idea as a family is lived out in real, tangible ways.

Speaker 1:

So here's my challenge to you, and this is going to be a fun one it's really easy to only hang out with the people you like to hang out with. It is it's really easy to look at some families and say, well, I don't think I want to be around that. But if we're all the family of God and we're all striving for the same thing, then we should constantly be supporting and loving each other, even if it's hard, even if you don't agree with someone sometimes. Like this is a family. It's not perfect. I know that the church is not perfect. We're a bunch of broken people trying to find Jesus, and it's ugly sometimes. It is ugly, but God shows up in the mess. Grace is so important. So this is my challenge to you in this coming week I want you to find someone in this church you've never had lunch with Ever and I want you to take them to lunch. Or I want you to invite them over to your house and I want you to spend time with them and I want you to get to know them. And I want you to get to know them and I want you to find out and realize that they are children of God, just like you, and they're just trying to figure it out, whether they're new believers or they've been at it for 30 some years.

Speaker 1:

To the younger people here, there's a lot of wisdom in this room, way more than I'll ever bring. There's a lot of experiences that I will never be related to. There's a lot of people here, incredible grandparents. They're like everyone's grandma. Looking at you, dottie. Dottie's one of my favorite people. I'm just going to pick on her a minute, but Dottie just loves people, man. She's everyone's grandma, but that's good, right. That's what we're supposed to be. And for a lot of the older people. There's some younger families here that you don't know yet.

Speaker 1:

Get to know them, even if it's not perfect. Listen, they might not have been where you are, but they're trying to get to where you are now. Help them, come alongside them. Let's share our burdens together. A healthy family isn't about doing everything right. A healthy family is about showing up when we need each other. It's never going to be perfect. The church will never be perfect, not until we die. When Jesus comes back. That's it. That's perfection. Until then, the goal is for us to help each other. If Moses needed help a man who stood in the presence of God multiple times, and so do you. So if you need that help, ask for it, and if you see someone who needs help, help them. All right, let's pray.