The Worlds Okayest Pastor

Debt Canceled, Grudge Not Included

• Jason Cline

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What if the grudge you’re carrying is costing you more than the original wound ever did? We take a hard look at Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness through Peter’s question and the parable of the unforgiving servant, then move from ancient story to everyday practice with honesty about hurt, justice, and healing.

First, we explore why Jesus leans on parables and how the soils set realistic expectations: not everyone will receive truth. That frame matters when Peter asks, “How many times should I forgive?” and Jesus answers with a number that signals posture over math. The king’s cancellation of an unpayable debt becomes the mirror we can’t dodge—mercy received is meant to become mercy given. We wrestle with the tension many feel: how do we forgive while still calling sin what it is?

From there, we draw a firm line on accountability. Forgiveness is never a cover for abuse, theft, spiritual manipulation, or corruption. Healthy churches confront sin, remove unsafe leaders, and protect the vulnerable. Releasing personal vengeance does not mean restoring unsafe access. It means we pursue truth without poisoning our own hearts.

Then we get practical and physiological. Research shows unforgiveness keeps your body in threat mode—elevated cortisol, higher blood pressure, anxiety, and restless sleep. Forgiveness, by contrast, lowers stress, supports heart health, and rewires neural pathways toward empathy and regulation. You can forgive without immediate reconciliation and without notifying the person, especially if boundaries are needed. The aim is freedom: setting down what you were never meant to carry while trusting God to judge justly.

If you’ve been forgiven much—and we have—let that grace move through you to others. Subscribe, share this conversation with someone who needs hope, and leave a review to help more listeners find it. What step toward forgiveness can you take today?

SPEAKER_00:

So you know it's really easy to look at the parables of Jesus and and and to kind of write them off. You know, these are these are good stories, good good ideas. But but it's so much more than that. And and and he talks about this in his own teachings. He says at some point that he's explaining parables because the the audience that he's with at the time doesn't quite get it yet. So that you have the Pharisees who should know more about the Messiah than anyone, and and they don't. They've actually missed him entirely. They've completely ignored who he is. And you have the disciples who get it for the most part, but he still has to offer them some explanation. He's trying to help them understand important life lessons. Listen, if you are going to follow me, here are things you need to understand. And the parable of the soil sets up that not everyone's going to receive the message. So his disciples and to us, he says, don't expect everyone to. In fact, if you look at it, out of the four, there's only one who gets it. So there's about 25% chance of someone actually receiving and growing into their faith. And I'm not saying that to be discouraging, but I think Jesus is being realistic. He said, not everyone who hears these words will understand them. And you have to be okay with that. But he does explain to them, and he says this, that everyone who hears of what I'm saying to you, who understands what I'm saying, so those who hear, let them hear. If they grasp it, they have a responsibility to choose how they react to it. So the parables take this teaching moment and it sits it right back into our lap. And Jesus says, I'm going to tell you this. Now, what are you going to do with it? So a couple chapters later in Matthew 18, Peter comes up to Jesus. And Peter's kind of like the spokesman for the disciples. If you pay attention, he's always the one that's kind of asking the hard questions. I always imagine the 12 of them standing around and someone raises a question or they want to ask a question and they're like, who's going to ask? And everyone just looks at Peter. And he's like, Fine, I'll do it again. So he comes up to Jesus and he asks him. Starting in uh Matthew chapter 18, verse 21 says, Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? By the way, that's honorable. God, if someone offends me, I will forgive them seven times. Peter thinks he's done something here. But Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times, or seventy times seventy, depending on your translation. So Jesus blows it completely out of the water. Not seven, but but let's say seventy-seven times. And he tells a parable. He said, Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And he began the settlement. A man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold was brought to him. Now 10,000 bags of gold back then was a couple thousand years of wages. This man had debt that there was no way he could possibly ever work it off. Verse 25. At this, the servant fell on his knees before him. Be patient with me, he begged, and I will pay back everything. It's not possible. The servant's master took pity on him. He canceled the debt and he let him go. So the average American, by the way, this is a fun statistic. The average American has$38,000 in debt. Some of us have more, some of us have less. Imagine you walked into a court and you are billions of dollars in debt. And the judge says, don't worry, you don't have to pay it. Can you imagine the freedom, the relief that this man owes thousands of years of wages and debt, and he begs and he pleads, and the king says, Okay, I hear you. I'm not gonna force that on you. Actually, I'm gonna cancel your debt. Imagine the conversation when he got home. Honey, we don't owe anything anymore. His wife's gonna think he's crazy. What do you mean? No, you don't understand. I I went and I and I asked him to forgive me, and and he did, and and and we and she's like, Yeah, but you owed so much money. And and he's like, I know. It doesn't make sense. But he forgave us. We're free. We no longer have the burden and the fear of not being able to pay. That's what this man should have done. That's not what he does. Verse 28 says, But when the servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins, which was about a half a day's wage. He grabbed him and he began to choke him. Pay back what you owe me, he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, Be patient with me, and I will pay it back. But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown in the prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw that uh what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in, said, You wicked servant, he said, I cancelled all that debt of yours, because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you? In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay them back all that he owed. And then Jesus replies, or he he he wraps up this parable, and this is what he says. This is how my heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Jesus tells this story, and we all relate to the man who's been set free, and we think this is fantastic. And then we all we all see the man who goes out and starts choking one of his servants aggressively coming after him and saying, Listen, you need to give me what you owe me. And and if you're any kind of a person, you're appalled. I can imagine that audience is like, what is wrong with this man? Like thousands of years of debt were forgiven. And he's coming after this guy for what? Half of his wage? Who would do that? Who who who would who, having been set free from the bondage of a debt they cannot pay, would walk out into the world and hold someone else accountable for a debt that they can't even pay. What kind of person does that? And the the master who forgave the large debt comes back to this man and says, All right, that's it. I forgave you, but no longer. Now you're gonna be held accountable for this. And and Jesus wraps up this entire thing and he says it as clear as day that my father will not forgive those who cannot forgive. And and in there lies the challenge. Because I've had this conversation with people, and their response is, well, God's all forgiving. Oh, no, no, I agree 100%. But God's also a God of justice. The one who pardons the debt, if he so chooses, can reestablish it. That's what Jesus is, he's talking about forgiveness. Saying, listen, this man, this this king in this story is God. God has forgiven all of us a great debt that we cannot pay. The debt of sin, the debt that separates us from him. God has forgiven us of this debt that we cannot find or we cannot fix, we cannot pay back on our own. And the expectation is that we would model that same forgiveness and grace to those around us. And uh, Jesus is actually talking about people in the community of believers. Understand this. I'm not saying forgiveness doesn't apply, but this whole conversation is dealing specifically with people. Uh Peter says, my brother and sister. So he's talking about those who are following Christ. Jesus says, if we have been forgiven, we should forgive those in our midst. Those who call themselves brothers and sisters in Christ. Matthew 6, 14 through 15 says, For if you have if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins. Ephesians 4 32 says, Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Colossians 3 13 says, Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. You see that the pattern? In the church, we are called to forgive people, not because they deserve it, not because they've earned it, not because we owe it to them. But we are called to be forgiving people because the God of all creation has forgiven us of a debt that you and I cannot pay. This is why forgiveness is so important. Jesus' models for uh on the cross in Luke chapter 23, he says, listen, as he's dying on the cross, he looks out over the crowd, and what does he say? God forgive them. Can you imagine hung on the cross, you've been beaten, spit on, everything about you is a mess. And you look out at all of these broken people when your response is, God, forgive them. They don't know what they're doing. Forgiveness is something that should mark not only the life of a believer, but the life of a church. Now, understand this and hear my heart for a second. I know that there are a lot of people who have been hurt by churches. I get that. There's a lot of people that have been a part of churches, and and you have people that have abused their power. They they've they they they've they've done things they should not have done. They were greedy, they stole, they they abuse you. And listen, some of this could be physical abuse, some of this could be spiritual abuse, some of this could be emotional abuse. Maybe you've been with other believers that have made you feel less than. I I I'm not in any way trying to take away from the fact that people hurt us. I don't think Jesus is either, but but understand that what they did is not your fault. It's theirs. They're not guarding their soil, they're not living to the standard that God has called them to, but they're also human. They're flawed. So when we talk about forgiveness, I'm not talking about ignoring accountability. The church does not hide sin. We do not cover for other people. We do not hide, we don't hide sin, we don't hide corruption, we don't protect those who are abusive. We don't. We hold people accountable. The scriptures are clear. There's ways to do this. If someone is not living to the standard that they're called to, especially in a role of leadership, we are called to hold them accountable. The church cannot and should not cover it up. Ever. That is unacceptable in every way, form, or fashion. But you can still hold people accountable and forgive them at the same time. That that that's what Jesus is talking about. This idea that that you and I we have this burden that as we live in this world, that, and listen, this is what this is what Jesus is talking about in this parable, the burden to forgive someone, the responsibility to forgive someone is on us. Our response to people, again, we're not we're not ignoring accountability, but our response is to be people who forgive. You know, this this guy on the water weighs about two pounds. You know, the longer I stay in here and hold it, the heavier it gets. You ever done that? This very lightweight, the longer I stand in here and hold on to this, the harder it gets. A lot of times, forgiveness of others is not about them, it's more about you. The the weight of unforgiveness over time. It's heavy. The longer that that I hold on to this this bitterness and this brokenness and this anger, the more it distorts me. Eventually, if you watch long enough, my shoulder starts to drop. The side gets weak. If I'm lucky, I can I can switch hands. Forgiving others is is is not about making it okay. It's not. They people hurt us. Forgiving others is about setting us free. That's why this this parable matters. Because it's it's it's not about again. And when he was forgiven, his response should have been, man, that's cool. Thank you. But he didn't. He he won right out and and started trying to hold someone else accountable. And and when we do that, when when we make revenge our responsibility, right? And when we're human, and and so we feel like, well, we we have to make sure they get punished. We have to to make sure that it never happens again. I I agree 100%. Again, accountability is important. I'm not uh don't ever, ever hear me say or ever think that I will not hold people accountable because I will. I think it's important. But sometimes we hold on to this so long that it robs us of the life God wants for us. Our unforgiveness makes us bitter and angry, and we never can get over it. And listen, this is this is a small thing. This doesn't weigh much. Man, the longer I hold it, the worse it gets. My arm is burning right here. Because this is what sin does. It it it's it corrupts, it starts to get in the way. It it it removes our ability to process. You you ever held unforgiveness to someone and everything they say you hate? Merry Christmas. Stop talking to me. Happy birthday. Well, I think about that. Like my I see that in my kids sometimes. Like, if one of them is mad at the other one, one of them can be like super nice, and they're like, leave me alone. I'm like, what is wrong with you? But this is what this is what sin does. It it distorts us, it distorts our view, it distorts our purpose, it doesn't allow us to see people for the grace that God has given them because we are content that if we hold on to this unforgiveness, somehow it's going to affect them. Can I tell you something? It never does. I have never in my life had someone feel bad because I wouldn't forgive them. More often than not, they don't even know. But but we hold on to this and and we hold on to it, and it wears us out and it brings us down, it gets in the way. And Jesus says, listen, as you have been forgiven, you should forgive others, because that is how you find freedom. That's the point of this parable. Jesus is really clear. If you have experienced incredible forgiveness, and I have. In the church. Peter or Jesus says it, Peter. He's talking to Peter. Says, if you cannot forgive, then God has no obligation to forgive you. That's heavy. Because it doesn't make sense. And we'll try to argue it away. That's Jesus. Can I tell you something? He sets the standard, not me. This is not Jason's interpretation of scripture. This is the Son of God saying to that audience and to us, if you cannot forgive, then God will not forgive you. So that means that when you come on Sunday mornings, you cannot truly worship God and hate the person standing next to you. You cannot truly live for God and despise those who are brothers and sisters in Christ. Doesn't mean we always have to like each other. But we should. We should be more gracious to each other than we are to anyone else. That's biblical. That's an understanding. And here's what I love the most because I'm gonna bring it all home. I love application. It's a fun word. Basically, we're just gonna bring it in real life. Science has proven what Jesus taught 2,000 years ago. So let's talk about unforgiveness. For those who hold on to offense, bitterness, or resentment, our body interprets it as a threat. So those who have a lot of unforgiveness have elevated cortisol, they're stressful, not the stress hormone. They have an increased heart rate and blood pressure, tighten muscles, heightened anxiety and vigilance. Your body cannot tell the difference, oftentimes, between physical danger and emotional danger. Did you know that? Your body doesn't differentiate. All it knows is that something's wrong. And so when we carry bitterness and anger and malice towards other people's resentment, our body is constantly in fight mode. Which is why they can say the nicest thing in the world to you, and you will still not like them. Science is also proven on the other side. For those who learn the art of forgiving, those who practice forgiveness, they tend to have lower blood pressure, reduced anxiety and depression, they sleep better, improved immune function, decreased risk of heart disease. And it's simple. Because instead of being in fight mode, fight or flight mode, when you're not holding bitterness and anger and rage and resentment towards other people, your body finds itself in rest and recover mode. It's calmer. It puts itself in a mindset of everything's safe and everything's okay. Neuroscience has shown that your brain actually can rewire itself with forgiveness. Chronic anger and resentment strengthens neural pathways associated with threat and hostility. So the more you harp on it, the more you you feel angry about it, your brain creates and strengthens those pathways to make it stronger. Forgiveness, on the other hand, strengthens pathways associated with empathy, emotional regulation, and peace. Imagine that. Jesus says, forgive people, and your body says, yes, please. Because carrying around brokenness and anger and weight constantly puts strain on our body. Learning to forgive people sets us free from that. Again, it's not that we don't hold people accountable. We do. You have to, especially when people do horrible things. But forgiveness is more about you than it is them. It's about setting something down that is not your burden to carry. Because here's the thing: at the end of life, and I'm grateful for this, you and I don't get to decide who makes it and who does it anyways. You and I are not judge and jury. It's not how it works. Everyone will stand before God and be held accountable for the way that they've lived their life. Always. My job is to be at peace. So when I practice forgiveness, it's for my benefit. Here's the thing. You can tell someone you forgive them. Sorry, you can forgive someone, you don't always have to tell them. I don't have to call you and let you know. Now it might be beneficial for me, but I don't have to call you and let you know. I can forgive you and just find myself in a better place. And as the church, we should model forgiveness more than anyone. We forgive of much because we've been forgiven of much. Jesus has forgiven me of all of my sin and iniquities. And it's through that grace and understanding that I extend grace and mercy and forgiveness to others. And listen, I will end with this. Again, Jesus sets the standard, not me. But he is very clear if we do not, if we cannot forgive others, then God will not forgive us. That's heavy. But it's necessary. All right, let's pray.