Found, Not Famous

Ever felt the sting of doing everything “right” and still wondering why you feel hollow? We go there—through teenage anger and hospital nights, through platform-building and burnout, through the deceptive comfort of praise that fades when the room empties. What begins as a confession about craving approval turns into a journey toward a steadier love, anchored in Luke 15, where the Shepherd lifts, the Woman searches, and the Father runs before the apology is over.

We unpack how easy it is to stake identity on performance, titles, follower counts, or even ministry outcomes—and why that math always breaks your heart. The crowd’s cheers can flip to jeers; Jesus lived that contrast. Yet the parables of the lost sheep, coin, and sons reveal a God who doesn’t wait for us to tidy up. He moves first, carries our weight, and throws a feast where shame expected probation. We also sit with the older brother’s anger, the quiet entitlement that grows when love feels like wages, not gift. It’s a sober reminder that religious polish can hide a lost heart as easily as reckless living can.

From there we turn practical: how to surrender the scoreboard, return before burnout, and let calling become participation rather than performance. We talk about finding worth that is received, not achieved, and what changes when you live found—more patience with yourself, deeper presence with others, and a gentler, bolder witness in a world starving for belonging. If you’ve been hustling for love or hiding from grace, this conversation offers a way home, and a mission: join the search for those still wandering.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope today, and leave a quick review so others can find their way home too.

Transcript

Wrestling With Worth And Applause

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Amen. You know, I I kind of played around this week in my head and kind of prayed through where I wanted to go. Because I I I don't I don't like to make I don't want to make Sunday morning about me. I I really don't. Like if you come here because you like me, that's great, but you're coming for the wrong reason. Like, I'm just a guy, man. I'm I'm very flawed. Believe it or not, I don't hit every correct note on every song that we play. Believe it or not, I'm sometimes I'm I'm weaker than I appear to be. I remember when I first came to church. I think I've told part of this story, but I was in a really dark place in my life. I was 15 years old and and I thought I had everything figured out, like every 15-year-old does. Right? You guys know all the answers. Always. And so I was living my life and and I was doing my thing, and I was I wasn't popular in school, but I sat with the jocks, and that was cool, I guess. But I would go home every single night. And mind you, my home was good. My mom, my mom loved me through some of the stupidest moments of my life. She's not here this morning. I wish she was. My mom and my grandmother and my grandfather loved me through some of the stupidest moments of my life. There was a time, I think I was like 14 or 15 years old, and I don't know if I told this story, but but I was really combative as a child. As a big kid. I thought I could fight the world. There's my my room used to be in the basement. And my mom and I had gotten to a fight, and and you know, my my way of handling my my rage was to go and slam doors and break stuff. There's a concrete wall in the middle of my mom's house where her thermostat is. There's a crack on that wall for me because I punched it. When I was younger, I was proud of that. Now my kids ask about it. We try not to talk about it. But I was angry. And I wasn't angry at her, I was angry at the world because no matter what I felt, no matter how much rage I had, there was something in me that was missing, and I couldn't quite explain it. So I got into a fight one time, and my mom had finally had enough, and she called the cops to our house. So the cops show up downstairs screaming, breaking stuff. And I hear at the top of the steps the cops hollering at me and trying to get me to calm down, and I'm just losing it. And listen, this is probably the nicest cop I think I ever met because I remember this moment clearly. He pulled out his taser and he looked at me. He said, Listen, kid, I don't want to do this. But you're big. And I don't think I'm gonna have a choice. And he looked at me and I looked at him and I was like, I think I'm gonna calm down now. I want to be tased. But but I struggled with it because I was still angry. I can't tell you the amount of times that I try to take my own life growing up. I've been admitted in the psychiatric hospital three times. Two of them before I turned 18. Because I hated everything about who I was. I people liked me. I was friendly. It's not like I had a bad reputation, but but there was just something in me that was missing. And I didn't like me. And as I went to church, started going because my friend Ryan invited me, and I gave my life to Jesus, and once you know it, I still struggled with it. I think that's the misconception people have. I think conceptually, like I understood it up here. I knew God loved me. That's what the Bible told me, but but I couldn't quite put it into practice. And so I struggled in and out of relationships, and I was an awful, not awful relationships. Any of the girls who might watch this that I dated, it wasn't you, it was me. I promise. I was so broken. I was so convinced that if I was in the right relationship, that I could I could find what I needed. I I struggled with pornography when I was younger. It was bad. And I and again, I was trying to fill a gap in my life, something that I just I needed to feel loved. And for moments of my life, I gave it to me. And then I went to school. I went to school right out of high school. I went to a Christian college up in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, because I was convinced that maybe if I just go to school and I'm a Christian, if I go to a Christian school and I can figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life. And so I chased after the this idea that this education was going to save me. And in my first year at college, I I dropped out. It's not true. I was asked to not come back. Tried to kill myself right after Christmas on campus. I got admitted to a hospital, and when I left, no fault of their own, they suggested that I go home because that was probably safer for me. So I went back home and I got into another relationship. I started working and I tried I tried to define myself by the things that I do and the things that I could accomplish. So I spent most of my early 20s trying to be the big strong guy. That's how it hurt my back, by the way. I know the moment. But prior to being with her, I was trying to hang out with a girl that I thought was really cute. And I picked up this really big bass ant that I should not have picked up on my own because I'm the big guy and I can't. I felt the twinge in my back and I ignored it. And two and a half years later, I'm laying on the floor of my house for six months because I can't walk. Caught up to me. Right. I I but my my idea behind all of this is I'm trying to find my worth and my value. And listen, I'm I'm a believer. I know who God is, I know what he says about me, but but I've determined that if I can just find my purpose in something else. Maybe a title.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

So I worked jobs and I'd work myself to death. And I'm going back to a ministry school in 2009.

Ministry As Identity And Its Crash

The Crowd’s Love And Its Turn

SPEAKER_01 8:39

I was in Cincinnati for two years at a church up there doing internship, and again, I was pursuing God, but I wasn't. I I was pursuing this idea of this role because I knew that ministry is where I wanted to be, and that's where I met my wife. I actually met Danny my my first year there. I wasn't allowed to date my first year in school, and and she was up there visiting some friends, and I saw her in the church sanctuary, and and I was like, I can't stand here. She's too pretty, and I'm gonna get in trouble. So I went home and I found her on Facebook and I messaged her on Facebook because I saw she had a tattoo, and I was like, cool tattoo. I'm not even kidding. Like that's that's like it wasn't grand. We did our second year together, and but I still struggled. Because I was trying to define my value and my purpose and my usefulness. A big guy, I can do things. I'm a middle child. We thrive off of gratitude. If you tell us we're good, we're like, oh, thank you. Some more, please. I had spent my life trying so hard. And listen, I'm still trying to walk faithful. I'm still doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm on stages, I'm on worship teams, and and I'm still trying to find my value in everything around me. And and at the end of the day, it's never enough. There's never enough praise. There's never enough people asking me to do more. There's never enough accomplishments. I spent my life trying to just figure out how to feel complete. And I knew, I knew God. I mentally I was aware. I knew that He loved me. I had heard the sermons. I came here, and it's my first job was a youth minister at this church, and and I did everything I could to make everyone like me. And not everyone did, and it drove me nuts. Because I couldn't figure out why people like me. But but I threw myself into ministry, and and if I could just accomplish this, and and our youth group was big. I don't know if you remember, Kim, it was like 40, 50 kids back then, and and there were kids everywhere. Our house was full every time we got together. And I and I and I listen, the problem is it's not bad, but I staked my who I am, my my own well-being on the success of that group. So when no one showed up, it killed me. Again, I'm I'm chasing the wrong things. Second church I worked at, the same thing. The ministry I did was never enough. I can tell you even now I I struggle with it. God, am I really doing enough? Because we live in a world that that defines our value of what we can do for others. If you're successful, if your career's successful, if you have thousands of followers on Instagram and TikTok, we we we base our existence. And listen, I I fall into the trap so often that I try to convince myself that I need everyone else to love me. And if everyone loves Jason, it's good. But the problem is, it's fleeting. Because the same people who love you will be the same people who crucify you. Jesus proves this. He blesses the crowd, he heals them, he loves them, he feeds them, they call him Hosanna, they praise his name as Messiah. And it's the same people who stand in the crowd at the crucifixion and they love it. He stands before Pilate and they cry out, crucify him. And Pilate says, What has he done? And he stands quiet. I have lived forty years of my life. Trying to convince myself that I needed the world to love me more. Luke fifteen reminds me that the world will never love me. Like Jesus does. The crowds are gathering. The Pharisees, there has to be something wrong. Luke 15, 1. Says now the tax collectors and the sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teacher of the law muttered, The man welcomes sinners and he eats with them. Then Jesus told them this parable. Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and he goes home. Then he calls his friends and his neighbors together and says, Rejoice with me. I have found my lost sheep. I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous persons who do not need to repent. Doesn't she light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully till she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, Rejoice with me, I have found my lost coin. In the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. Parable of the lost son, Jesus continued. The younger one said to his father, Father, give me my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all that he had, and he set off for a distant country, and there he squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and he hired himself out to a citizen of that country who sent him to his friend, his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, How many of my father's hired servants have food to spare? And here I am starving to death. I will set out and go back to my father and say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son, threw his arms around him, and he kissed him. The son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, Quick, bring the best robe and put it on him, put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. The son of mine was dead. He was alive again. He was lost, and he is found. So they began to celebrate. Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and and he asked him what was going on. Your brother has come, he replied, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has him back, safe and sound. The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him, but he answered his father, Look, all these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders, yet you never gave me even a young goat, so I could celebrate with my friends. But when the son of yours was squandered your property and prostitutes comes home, you kill the fat Caffrin. My son, the father, said, You are always with me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate and be glad because his brother of yours was dead, he's alive again, he was lost, but now he's found. Jesus stands among the sinners. Stands among the tax collectors and the Pharisees are scoffing. Who is this man? Why is he hanging out with these people? Doesn't he know who they are? Doesn't he know that they've been an adulteress? They steal? I bet that woman over there had an abortion. Doesn't he know their their past, their history, what they've done, who they are, all the mistakes that they've made? How could Jesus be among these people? Why would he be among them?

SPEAKER_00 18:51

They're they're gross. Some of them probably stink. Work the fields all day. They cuss like sailors. Messiah. What kind of messiah does that? Jesus says I do. These are my people.

Luke 15: Lost And Pursued

SPEAKER_01 19:20

You have made it so hard for God. You made it so hard for them to get to God because you you created all these rules, and here you are, you're not even living it out like you say you do. These people are hungry for me. They live in the same broken world that you and I do, and they have no hope. And I've come, I have come for them. I have found them wanting. I am going to give them something they will never be able to grasp. I'm going to die for them, and I'm going to die for you because guess what, Pharisees? You are just as lost as they are. You just look prettier. Your life looks more put together, but I know you. You're right. I know everything about them. Every sin, every failure, every suicide attempt. Every time he failed in a relationship, every time he said the wrong thing, that one time that he stood on his mother's porch at two o'clock in the morning smoking a cigarette because he thought it'd be cool. I know him. I know what he has done. I know what he did. I know the mistakes that Jason has made in his life. And every time he's walked away, I pursued him. I went and I found him. I brought him back. I put the robe on his feet. The sand was on his feet, the robe on him, I put the ring on him. Slaughtered the fattened calf. I'm the one that's going to save him. I'm going to save him. And I'm going to use him. I'm going to use him to help other people find the same salvation. I'm going to give him a pulpit. I'm going to give him talents. I'm going to give him gifts. I'm going to give him whatever he needs. And I'm going to keep reminding him how much I love him. How much he needs me. Because I never want him to forget that even if the world says he's not enough.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

He's enough for me.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

We don't deserve it. We didn't earn it. But it never fails. The pursuit of the loss is our mission. Because I guarantee you there are people out there. There are people in your life. There are people in your school. You have family, you have friends, there are people you work with that walk around just like I did. Trying to put my trying to find my value in everything else. Another title, a raise. Maybe this relationship will make me happy. I spent my life pursuing everything. Sometimes at the expense of my relationship with God. Because I was convinced that I could figure it out. You know, there's something really neat about getting older, and we don't talk about this enough, but there's a lot of wisdom that comes in 40 years. Can't wait to see what I'm gonna learn in the next 40. But but one of the things that I love about where my life is now is I step into this. I talked about last week. Lord willing, if I step into the second half of my life and God gives me another 40, 50 years, I am more confident than I have ever been.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

That though I might have been lost, though I might have tried to find other ways to fill the void. Even if Satan tries to tell me I'm not enough, I might have been lost.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

But by the grace of God I've been found. Let's pray.