The Everyday Icon Style Podcast
Welcome to Everyday Icon Style, the podcast for executives, entrepreneurs, and ambitious professionals who are ready to step into their next-level identity. I’m Tiffany Howard, an Executive Style Coach, and I help leaders like you build an authentic personal style while making the mindset shifts that elevate confidence, presence, and authority.
Each week, we’ll explore how style and identity intersect from executive presence and personal branding to wardrobe edits, capsule wardrobes, and lifestyle essentials that support your growth. Along the way, you’ll hear strategies, insights, and inspiration to help you show up as the leader you’re meant to be, inside and out.
If you’re an executive, a 6 or 7 figure entrepreneur, or an ambitious professional who wants to refine your presence, upgrade your wardrobe, and embody the next-level version of yourself, this podcast is your go-to resource.
The Everyday Icon Style Podcast
Episode 190: Identity Before Aesthetics: The Real Foundation of Style
Have you ever stood in front of your closet, surrounded by perfectly "appropriate" clothes, yet felt like nothing truly represents you? That nagging disconnect isn't just annoying, it's actively holding you back professionally.
This eye-opening episode challenges everything you think you know about professional style by revealing how we've been approaching it backwards. Instead of starting with aesthetics (what looks good, what's trending, what's appropriate), we need to begin with something far more powerful: our authentic identity.
Ready to transform your relationship with your wardrobe? Join my email list to be the first to know when my Closet Edit VIP Day launches later this month. Let's work together to ensure your style becomes a true reflection of who you are becoming, not just who you've been.
Links To Resources
Join My Email List https://the-executive-edge.kit.com/cae1222057
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This is the Everyday Icon Style Podcast, the space for style-conscious, career-driven women who are ready to look like the next level version of themselves. Each episode helps you build a wardrobe that reflects not only your executive presence, but your real life. With a little bit of guidance, intentional edits, and no full-blown transformation required. Let's elevate your style and your authenticity one outfit at a time. I'm Tiffany, your style coach. Let's get started. And welcome back to the Everyday Icon Podcast. As always, I am your host, Tiffany, and today I want to tell you something that might be a hard pill to swallow, but let's talk through it. And that is we've been approaching our style completely backwards. And we've been starting with the aesthetic first. And you know what that means. It's what looks good, what's trending, what's appropriate, when we should actually be starting with something a lot deeper, your identity. Who are you becoming, not just who you've been. And today I'm gonna flip the script on everything you think you know about professional style and just style in general. Because until you get a clear, until you get clear on your identity, you're just playing dress up in somebody else's life. And I think I made that aha moment today in a therapy session about my style and how conforming it can be and not dressing the way that I feel that I am supposed to actually dress. So let's first dive right in with the identity crisis in professional spaces, which we have all encountered before. So here's what I see constantly tongue-tied among high achievers. Now you've mastered the external game, you know how to look successful, you can assemble an outfit that checks all the boxes, but deep down, if truth be told, there is this nagging, irritating feeling that you're performing a role rather than expressing your truth and who you are. In other words, being authentic. Here's what happens when you prioritize aesthetics over identity. You create an authenticity gap that everyone can feel, even if you can't name it. So you've probably had this feeling, but you can't quite put your finger on it. It's the authenticity gap. Now people sense the disconnect before who you appear to be and who you actually are. Why? Because it creates this subtle but persistent friction in your professional relationships. So it's sort of like they're seeing the dressed version of you, but they feel like that's not who you are. And I think, and in my therapy session today, actually, I started to talk about how it's what we've been taught, and how we have been taught since we have been kids, there are certain boxes that when we get dressed, you know we have to dress better than them, we have to do two times as hard as them. And because it's so ingrained in us, we forget the little girl. And this was the example, and I've used this before. When you see little girls at the store, they could have their hair wild, crazy, and beautiful, have on a princess dress and some rain boots, and be happy and content. They are being their authentic self. And somehow along the way, we forget that. But here's the most important thing: whether you're a corporate professional or even an entrepreneur, your clients hire you for your expertise, but they stay with you because of who you are. And when your clients doesn't align with your identity, when your style, not client, when your style doesn't align with your identity, you're essentially falsely advertising your most valuable asset, which is you. And many of us lead with our expertise and not with who we are. And that is something I think that we all need to sit with. I mean, I get it, we've paid all this money for these degrees and X, Y, and Z, but our expertise isn't who we are. And we are always, first and foremost, our most valuable asset. Now, this is where it gets a bit strategic. When you're focused solely on looking appropriate, you're inertly limiting your creative and innovative capacity. And in this world, age, and time, we have to be creative and innovative with our ideas and our thoughts. And what that'll do is it makes that you're signaling to yourself and others that fitting in is more important than standing out for the right reasons. We do want to stand out. It doesn't have to be full-blown, like, oh, I'm here. No. Even if it's just a little bit to separate you, you want to be able to stand out for the right reasons. But the leaders who command premium fees and get pulled into the highest level conversations, guess what? They've figured out how to be authentically themselves while still being strategically professional. And why? Because they understand that their unique perspective is their competitive advantage, and their style reflects that as well. So we are have to kind of rewire how we think about our style and lead with who we are and not necessarily with our expertise, and begin to open up and be okay with creating a different competitive advantage than our degrees. So that is something that I just want you to think with, think about and marinate on just for a little bit. So, how do you flip this? How do you start with identity instead of aesthetics? I'm glad you asked. First, you need to get brutally honest about who you're becoming versus who you've been. Two different people. Many times we get to a certain point because life happens, or we don't think it's important, or we're making other things, i.e., degrees and certifications, the most important thing. And we're not thinking about who you were five years ago when you built your current wardrobe that you have. And if I'm being honest, you probably have two or three different wardrobes in there for different versions of yourself. And not who you think you should be based on your industry, your business, or what other people think? Who are you right now in this phase of both your career and your life? And I want you to ask yourself: what are my current core values? How do you make decisions? What's your natural leadership style? Because everybody has one. What do you want to be known for? Because until you can answer these questions clearly, you're just shopping blind. And this is why, and why you end up with having a closet full of clothes with nothing to wear. We have to get below the surface, and this is more than just changing the clothes that you wear, but you're transforming yourself into a version of yourself that you've always envisioned but didn't necessarily know how to get there. And I am here to help and guide you. So once you're clear on your identity, then everything else becomes a filter. Does this piece align with who I'm becoming? Does this outfit support how I want to show up in the world? Does this choice reflect my values or visions? I can I can I get rid of this, and this is in your closet, not just going shopping, but I think I can let go of this. Because this isn't about following rules or trends anymore. It's actually about creating your own rules based on your authentic identity. And once we're able to step into that, I think we will see not we'll see a shift in us and how people treat us around us, all of course, in a positive, good way. So here's what's powerful about starting with identity first. It gives you permission to evolve. Many times we don't give ourselves permission to do so. And when your style is rooted in who you are rather than what you think you should wear, you can now adapt and grow without losing your authentic core. So editing your closet will become easy. Going shopping will become easy because you're in tune with who you truly are at your core. And currently, right now, with the clients that I work with, and they could be from corporate climbers to entrepreneurs to people that are kind of both. And from the behind the scenes, here's what I've seen. When their style was built on an identity foundation, these transitions they were actually kind of seamless. When it wasn't, they felt like they were starting from scratch every time. We don't want to do that, and that is what I see most people do. Even when I look online, everybody's like, oh, I have to create my new wardrobe, and they're literally starting from scratch, they're literally throwing everything away, but buying new stuff that doesn't even align with who they are. It just looks nice. Or it's in the it's right now, it's hip and all those things. But in actuality, you're just playing dress up in somebody else's clothes and not yours. Now, when your external expression it finally matches your internal identity, something profound happens to your confidence. You stop second-guessing yourself, you stop looking around the room to see if you fit in because you no longer that will not matter, and you start focusing on the value you bring instead of worrying about whether you look the part or not. Because now your base coming in. I already know the stuff. Now it's time to build the confidence, and it will help you with building the confidence. And this confidence won't be performative, it's going to be authentic to you. And authentic confidence is magnetic, is magnetic in ways that borrowed authority can never be because it's going to attract everything you've ever desired to you. Now I know that some of you are thinking, this sounds great in theory, and it does, but how do I actually implement all this? How do I figure out my identity and translate it into wardrobe? The truth is, most people have never been asked to think about their professional identity this deeply or their personal identity when it comes to their personal style this deeply before. Most of the stuff is just surface level that you hear over and over and over again. And because of that, we've been trained to adapt to external expectations rather than express our internal truth in who we are. But once you experience the power of alignment, when you are and how you show up are in perfect alignment and harmony, there will be no going back to what you used to know. So this is why I have created the closet edit VIP Day, which will be launched later this month. And I'll probably go through a whole podcast about how I kept running from this and how I keep coming back. And the closet edit is where everything has to start. Everything. With identity, not aesthetics. And if you want to be the first to know when the doors open, click the link in this description of this episode to join my email list so that you'll be in the know and first to be notified when the doors officially open. So here's what I want you to understand. Your style is not about fashion, it's about identity. Every morning when you get dressed, you're making a choice about who you're going to be that particular day. You can choose to be a generic version of success, or you can choose to be the most authentic, powerful version of yourself. And the leaders who command respect, who attract their attract their ideal clients, who get invited into conversations that really matter, they've all figured out the secret. And we see it every single day. Even people that wear t-shirts and jeans as a standard uniform, that is their identity, and that is who they are, and they are not about to apologize for it. And the world doesn't need another carbon copy of conventional success. I think that's or should be if it hasn't, start to become shattered and letting everything go. And in reality, it needs leaders who are brave enough to be authentically themselves in professional spaces. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. And just think about everybody else that's coming up behind you and how you're paving the way for them. And what it also needs to do is it needs people who understand that their uniqueness is their competitive advantage, something that we have never experienced or lacked or we lack. And I always want you to remember identity first, aesthetics second, power always. Because you have that will give you the power that you need. Because when you get this order right, and it might take some time, but when you get it right, you won't just look successful, you become unstoppable. Your authentic identity is your superpower. And don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise or different. So until next time, I want you to remember you were never meant to be anyone but you. Especially in your professional career.