The Everyday Icon Style Podcast

Episode 197: The Problem With Following Style Advice Without Structure

• Tiffany Howard

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SILENT PARTNER PRIVATE PODCAST

https://the-executive-edge.kit.com/560a58e519

Style shouldn’t feel like a reset every season or a scavenger hunt for the next “must-have.” We open up about why so much advice creates dependence instead of clarity, and how a simple structure can turn your closet into a silent partner that supports your work, your routines, and your confidence. If you’ve been second-guessing your choices or chasing trends that don’t stick, this conversation will help you trade quick fixes for a system you can trust.

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SPEAKER_00:

This is the Everyday Icon Style Podcast, the space for style-conscious, career-driven women who are ready to look like the next level version of themselves. Each episode helps you build a wardrobe that reflects not only your executive presence, but your real life. With a little bit of guidance, intentional edits, and no full-blown transformation required. Let's elevate your style and your authenticity one outfit at a time. I'm Tiffany, your style coach. Let's get started. I am your host, Tiffany, and today I want to talk to you about something we're still staying along the lines of new thoughts and ideas as I'm getting them when it comes to style and building the style. And one of them is today that we're going to discuss is the problem with following style advice. And I know we have heard tons of style advice over the years. And if we're honest with ourselves, most of it sounds the exact same way. People are saying the exact same thing, telling you the exact same things that you need, and it sounds boring, and you sometimes it still doesn't quite work for you. Because this is what I'm learning as I'm building out more structure and systems for when it comes to creating and developing and at least laying the foundation for your style. And that is style advice without structure doesn't create clarity, it creates dependence. And with dependence, this is what keeps women stuck in cycles of uncertainty, over shopping, self-doubt, or even sometimes, even I could even say impulse buying when you go to the mall or if you're shopping online. Now, on its own and at the surface, the advice can feel very helpful, very easy, very practical. It also offers quick wins and temporary relief. But without an underlying underlying framework, it quietly trains us to outsource our judgment, always looking outward for the next answer instead of building trust in their own decisions. And over time, this erodes our confidence. But I want to touch on something that I said a couple minutes ago, and it's called building trust in your own decisions. And this year for me, my not word of the year, but I'll say phrase is learning to trust myself again. Because I haven't been able to trust myself for a while in all aspects. And even with something as simple as style and it's you're listening to what other people say will look good, or you're listening to or looking online and what's the end thing, or what is what I should be wearing, and not thinking about what's essential to me. Now, last week I talked about essentials and them not necessarily being essentials, those checklists that we've always seen or always get, but more so what is essential to you. And allowing yourself to trust yourself with something as small as or as big as style is huge because one, it'll help build your confidence. And two, if you can trust yourself in this area of your life, you can begin to also trust yourself in other areas of your life as well. So let's start with the first point. The advice, it solves moments, not systems. So when you hear most style advice, it's designed to solve isolated moments. What to wear to a meeting, what to wear to an interview, how to style a new piece or an old piece, what's trending this season. Now, these tips they can be useful, but they don't address the bigger picture. They don't explain why something works or how it fits into your life as a whole. So that's why lists don't work. And if you had didn't listen to last week's episode, I highly suggest that you go back and listen to that once you're done listening to this episode, and then things will begin to hopefully make sense. But if you need me to go deeper, just DM me on Instagram, and I'll be more than happy to create episodes that go deeper with this. With structure, and I know a lot of us don't like structure all the time, it solves the system, it solves the problem, it solves the root cause of the issue. And it gives you a way to elevate, evaluate your choices, repeat success, and make decisions that feel aligned without needing constant reassurance. Like, oh, does this look okay? Does this feel right? Does this look good? I'm not too sure about that. Because when that happens, that's where your confidence kicks in. It's like, you know what? I look great. This looks good. This was a hit, this was a miss. So now let's go back, recalibrate, reevaluate what's going on, and let's continue from there. This also helps with not having to start over again each and every single time. Because without the structure, you are left chasing the next tip, the next formula, the next must-have, instead of developing confidence in your own wardrobe logic. So the tips help, but then it also takes away your choice on what you should wear. And that's why when people, you know, you have personal shoppers and things of that nature, they're shopping based on their systems, but not necessarily based on you. And you can't really have someone tell help you shop if you don't know what you're shopping and looking for, and at least have a basis of what works for you and what doesn't work for you. And that's where I'm here to help you with building that system and most importantly, building a foundation for you to always build upon. So, next, structure helps create predictability with style. Yes, it should be predictable. That's where the signature tends to come into play. Because when a wardrobe has structure, something powerful begins to happen. You can predict what will work before you even buy it. This way, it will curve the limit of impulse buying or somebody saying, Well, you know what, this looks good on you. No, it doesn't, it doesn't work. And I'm not saying not try new things, but you'll know what to try and what not to try. And most importantly, you won't be doom scrolling or doom walking around uh the stores and just buying things, just to buy things, only to get them home. They don't work, and then they sit in your closet, and you're wondering what happened and why you can't find and put things together. Because this will allow you to know how a piece will integrate into your current wardrobe, know what to pair it with, and know whether or not it supports your lifestyle or complicates it. We're trying to eliminate the noise. Our closets should be aligned. I want us to also stop thinking about our closets as spaces that hold clothes. Our closets, especially if you are in corporate, if you are any form of professional woman that could be an entrepreneur, lawyer, doctor, CEO, all of the things in between, your closet needs to support you and your lifestyle all the way through. And as your lifestyle changes, of course, your style and your structure will also change with that. But I want us to see now as our closets being more so an asset, not a liability, and not someplace where we just throw stuff in with that as well. And most importantly, when it comes to structure, it stops, it helps with not turning shopping into a decision, not an emotional response. So back to the impulse. This will help you with, I don't need this. You'll be able to write a list and buy things off of the list. It will even help you with where you shop, as far as saying, you know what, I'm gonna go buy this from Shein. I'm going to say this as nicely, and I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. Stop shopping at Shein. We need to now, we are at a level and a point in our lives where we need to buy quality pieces. Yes, Shein pieces, fashionova pieces, yes, they are cute. But they only last what three, four, six, seven washes, and then you're buying something again. So instead of buying, you know, five different white button-downs, and I'm just using this as an example, five or six times throughout the year because they turn colors, they get, you know, things of that nature. You buy one good one, maybe two or three, I don't know, you'll have it in rotation and you're not constantly having to repeat by things over again. So I want to keep I want you to keep that in mind as well. Next up, structure is what makes style sustainable. Once we get a sustainable style, getting dressed will be easy. We'll be able to go into our closets, we'll be able to close our eyes, pull whatever out that we need, get dressed, and be on our way. When we're in our closets at their current state, they can be exhausting. We have many other important decisions that we have to make throughout the day. Getting dressed should be low on the totem pole, if at ever possible, when trying to figure out what to wear. Because without the structure, your style will feel something like you have to keep up with. It's like I have to keep up with this. It shouldn't. It should be easy and it should be silent. It's sort of like it's your silent partner. That's how you want your closet to be, but it is also supporting you in ways that you never thought or imagined that it could. Now, every season feels like a reset if it's not sustainable. Every trend creates pressure, every shift in life makes your wardrobe feel outdated. We want to build a sustainable style, sustainable to you, not to anyone else. So there is really no one size fits all when it comes to style. But with the structure, your style becomes steady and easy. And you no longer are starting over every six months or every year. Now we're just refining. We're taking and making small, thoughtful adjustments instead of drastic overhauls that we seem to be on this hamster wheel of. And with that steadiness, it's going to create ease and confidence and longevity and your style, not just in what you wear, but how you see yourself as well. And it is slow and steady, wins the race. Remember, it is a marathon, not a sprint. So if this feels familiar to you or not, even familiar, but something that you've been feeling about your wardrobe and your style, something's not sitting well with you, you find in the details below my silent partner podcast. Now, it is a five-part series series podcast that I created that gives you the foundation and the building blocks. And I want us to begin to think of how we see our closets and our style. Not only that, you will also get my monthly newsletter, sort of like a roundup monthly newsletter. I will not be in your inbox all the time, but just to give you ideas, thought processes, finds that I may find, and of course, anytime that I have anything from new YouTube videos and podcast episodes and all of that to boot. So if this sub podcast, I'm tongue-tied today, if this podcast resonated with you, or you have any questions or even have ideas on topics you would like me to cover, whether here on the podcast or even over on my YouTube channel, be sure to find me over on Instagram. All the information is in the description box below. DM me, and I'll be more than happy to add it to the rotation because I am here to serve you when it comes to style and help you on this style refinement journey. So, with all of that being said, I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. Stay healthy, stay safe, and I will talk to you guys in the next episode.