Episode 206: What Your Wardrobe Reveals About How You Think About Power

You can walk into a room with the right ideas and a strong track record and still get misread in seconds. That gap is where wardrobe psychology lives, and it’s why executive presence is not only about performance, it’s also about perception. I’m Tiffany, and I’m going deeper than generic “wear this to a meeting” advice to talk about what your style choices really signal about your confidence, authority, and willingness to take up space.

We unpack the outdated rules of power dressing that taught so many professional women to blend in, then reframe power as alignment: the outside matching the inside. When your personal style is intentional and authentic, people feel it. When it isn’t, you may end up dressing to disappear, or swinging to the other extreme by performing a role that looks right on paper but feels like cosplay in real life.

If you’re ready to build a wardrobe that functions as a leadership tool, I invite you to take one next step and book a call through the link  

 http://www.theeverydayicon.co/the-identity-architecture-blueprint

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Transcript

Welcome And The Real Goal

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is the Everyday Icon Style Podcast, the space for style-conscious, career-driven women who are ready to look like the next level version of themselves. Each episode helps you build a wardrobe that reflects not only your executive presence, but your real life. With a little bit of guidance, intentional edits, and no full-blown transformation required. Let's elevate your style and your authenticity one outfit at a time. I'm Tiffany, your style coach. Let's get started. I have a question for you. When you walk into a room, a boardroom, a client meeting, or even a networking event, what do you believe people see first? Now many of you will say it's your ideas, your track record, or even your results. And look, all that matters, it absolutely does. However, this is what actually happens in the first seven seconds or less before you introduce yourself. People are reading you, they make assumptions about your authority, your confidence, and your competence, and yes, even your power. Your wardrobe isn't just fabric, color, and fit or an aesthetic. It's actually information. It's a direct window into how you think about yourself, your role, and how you think about your power. And that's exactly what we're talking about today. So as always, welcome back to the Everyday Icon Style Podcast. And in this episode, I want to go somewhere a little bit, maybe even a lot deeper, then here's what to wear to a meeting. Because that advice is literally everywhere. It's generic. And let's face it, we're past that. So what I want to talk to you about today is actually the psychology underneath your wardrobe choices. Now, over the years of observing executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders, and just anybody in executive spaces, I've realized that the clothes are never about the clothes. They're about what you believe you deserve, what you believe people see when they look at you, and whether or not you're you've given yourself permission to take up space. And I know for a fact everybody listening to this has felt that way, including myself. And it's time for us to change that. So let's start with the lies that we tell ourselves. And I want to start with something I hear all the time. And maybe you've said it yourself because I know I have. It doesn't matter what I wear. People know my work, I'm good for it. Or maybe even this one. I just don't have time to think about this stuff. Whether you're too busy, it's an afterthought, or goes back to even I don't care because I know my work should speak for itself. Now I'm definitely not here to shame you or tell you that you're wrong for feeling that way because I've felt that way numerous times. But I want to offer you a different lens. When you say, or when I've even said it doesn't matter, what we're actually saying is that you've opted out of the most powerful tool of communication that we have access to every single day. And you've probably never thought about it, and most people don't even talk about it in this way. Because you believe that making yourself visible, really visible, would somehow or will somehow take away from your credibility. So you make yourself invisible. Now there are more different reasons of why you make yourself invisible. Sometimes it can even be something as simple as trusting yourself in your ideas and thoughts. And that's actually kind of where I fall into the mix of this. And here's what I've learned over my 20 plus years. People will always treat you accordingly. I want you to remember something. Your wardrobe is always communicating to people every single day, whether you want to admit it, believe it, or see it. The question is whether you're directing that communication or you're just leaving it to chance. And we no longer want to leave it to chance. So I talked about power, and you're probably thinking, so what does power actually look like? I'm glad you asked. Because we've literally been taught or told or sold and still being sold a very outdated version of what powerful dressing looks like. We are dressing from probably the 1970, 80 rules and not the 2020 rules or the 2000 rules. We're not in this century. We're still dressing last century or probably even the century before. And for a very long time, the message for women has been wear the dark suit, keep the jewelry small, don't do too much. If you want to add a little bit of oomph, have that power color suit. You all know what that what that is, because there were catalogs full of it. And that did work for a certain era in time, and even in certain organizations, especially very conservative organizations. But here's what you've probably noticed and seen, but couldn't put your finger on it. And that is that the leaders who were the most magnetic, most influential, and always the most memorable, they never dressed like everyone else in the room. And I want you to think about that. Because they dressed like themselves with intention. And you know those individuals because they just had a sense, they had like an aura when they walked in the room. People, they took, they were visible, I'll put it that way. They showed up, they took up space. A lot of us, including myself, still really don't take up the space that we deserve and that we've worked so hard for. Now, let's talk about the difference between dressing to disappear and dressing to lead, because they're two different things. And most of us, including a very including a lot of very accomplished individuals, are still dressing to disappear without even knowing it. And I want you to think if that is actually you. Because power isn't about a specific color, cut, or even an aesthetic, which is what is finding its way through how people dress nowadays. Instead, power, when it comes to your wardrobe, your individual wardrobe, it's all about alignment. And that's where the personal comes into personal style, even in executive spaces. It's really about the outside matching your inside. Most of us are dressing for how we think we should actually dress, but not from the inside out. And when these two things are in sync, people will actually feel it. And you have felt it too with other people. And then you just, it's just an afterthought after that, but you always know because you'll say, that person had something. I can't put my finger on it. It's usually their clothes, it's usually their wardrobe. That's usually the thing we always overlook. So now let's get to a little bit of practicality here, right? So there are three wardrobe patterns that are literally costing you. And I begin to see and observe this over and over and over again. So let's touch on each of them briefly. Pattern one, the accumulator. And all of us have been here. This is a person who has a closet full of clothes, but absolutely nothing to wear. You've been buying things here and there, mostly when something is on sale or when you're in a rush before a trip, a big meeting, an event. That's not a system. That's not even strategy. It's just a bunch of mess. And what that chaotic closet reflects is this, because your closet reflects whatever you put into it, it's a reflection of you. And this is a belief that your wardrobe is a problem to be solved one piece at a time, one event at a time, instead of a tool to be built with intention. Now the accumulator spends more time every morning standing in front of that closet feeling overwhelmed or even underwhelmed than they ever want to admit. And that low grade stress, that I don't know what I'm gonna do type of energy, it will follow you into the first meetings of your day, whether it's for personal or whether it's for work, it's going to follow you. And the draining, the it's draining when you have to think about that. That low grade level stress chips away at the energy that you actually need to have throughout the day. And I want to pause here and just say this you can be a bit of all three because I think sometimes I'm a bit of all three. So next we have the comfort zone dweller. Now, this is the individual who found something that works, like your work uniforms, and they've been wearing it on repeat for the past several years or heck, even decades at this point. Same style, same palette, same silhouette. It's not bad, you're just stuck in a time warp for the most part. And what this often reveals is a fear of change, a fear of being seen differently. So I don't want you to think of this as a bad way of fear of change, but your fear is not the close, but it's the fear of being seen in a different way and a different light. Sometimes it's a fear of being perceived as trying too hard. Or who does she think she is? Or why would she choose that? I always say this. Our true style is literally stuck in our heads, but we're afraid to embrace and acknowledge it, and we get stuck in our comfort zones. Now, the way you dress is either growing with you or it's going to hold you in a version of you that doesn't even exist anymore. And that is draining and tiring and chips away at your energy. And for a lot of you, the wardrobe didn't get the memo that they leveled up. Because you it how you dress and what you look like, it becomes an afterthought. It doesn't show you as your true personal self. You're not bringing, as sometimes they'll say at work, you're not bringing your whole self to work. You're coming to work, but you're not bringing yourself to work. And sometimes maybe you feel that, and this is the whole thing of being invisible and taking up space. That's the part that you're afraid of. And clothes actually keep you safe. And we never even realize it. It's like our security blankets, because then we don't have to try too hard. And we deserve everything that we have always dreamed and felt and wanted. The last one, the performer. I even like to call this cosplay or even the aesthetics that we see out here nowadays. And this is the individual who dresses for the role they think other people expect them to play. The serious executive costume or cosplay, the creative founder, an aesthetic, the I'm approachable costume. And the problem is with performing that it's tiring and exhausting, trying to always keep up. And people can begin to feel that there's just a subtle inauthenticity that gets in the way of real connection and real authority. Now, here's the thing: the most powerful wardrobe you can build is one that is authentically, intentionally you, and at the level you're going and operating at right now. This is why I throw out checklists about wardrobe essentials. Because the wardrobe essentials are very generic, they don't work for you as an individual. And that is always a great place to start. And that's besides your closet, that is where I want to start with clients, so that you can begin to build something that is so personal to you that nobody, absolutely no one, can try to recreate it. And if they do try to recreate it, it's going to feel like a performer, like cosplay. Because it's not them, it's you. And they think that, well, if I can just dress like this, then I'll be alright. That's why your wardrobe always seems to feel off if you are a performer or a little bit of both. For me, I will say that I am the comfort zone dweller and a little bit of the accumulator. I really used to be an accumulator back in the day. I used to have tons of clothes. But now I'm the comfort zone dweller because I am afraid to show up as who I am and to dress to take out the idea of what I have in my head of how I want to dress and bring it out and wear it happily, proudly, and all of the things, because it would look completely different, I think, than what people think I should dress, which would be cosplay. And I've probably had a little bit of that too. So while you are going on your journey and figuring out where you are and how you want to dress, guess what? I am doing the same thing. So we can get through and do all of this together, and it's actually a lot better that way. So you're not alone in this. So how do you actually start to think differently about your wardrobe, building a closet that supports you and everything, and in between? So instead of asking yourself, what should I wear today? I want you to start asking, What do I want this to communicate today? Because remember, this is a form of communication. And this is the one form of communication that you have complete control over. If you don't take anything away from this, that is what I want you to remember. You are in complete control of what you communicate each and every day. Because when you start getting dressed with intention, you're not just putting on clothes, you're making a decision about how you're going to show up. I also like to call it your putting on the armor of God because you know when people with the verse that talks about when you put on the full armor of God, this is what this is for you. You're setting the tone for yourself before anyone else gets to set it for you or think differently or make a judgment for you about you. Now, are they going to be off sometimes? Yes. But that's their problem. That's not yours. And this is not a small thing. It's a literally, it will be a complete shift once you begin to think differently through a different lens and how you relate yourself to your work. You'll show up different in your work, you'll show up different in rooms, and people will take notice of that. Your wardrobe is literally a daily act of not just self-leadership, but also self-care. Because some people, when we get up and we get dressed, it tells people too that you don't care, and we don't ever want people to think that. So either you are going to lead it or your wardrobe is going to lead you. And most of us, a lot of us, our wardrobe, it's leading you and not the other way around. Now, I don't want you to, I don't want to make this sound really simple, really easy, really basic, because it's not. Changing how you dress, it's going to require you to look at some things that are deeper than your closet. Because everything in your closet is literally a reflection of you as an individual. It's going to require you to be honest about your beliefs, you hold about what you deserve, what you're allowed to want, and whether you believe as a person that your outside and inside are worth investing in equally. This does not mean going out and spending$50,$11 on a new pair of pants or a new wardrobe or anything like that. It's about what do you deserve? Who are you? Are you a badass? Then you need to dress like it. Right? That's what all this comes down to. And over observing with my 20-year, 20-plus year career in corporate America and now entering into entrepreneurship, many executives and entrepreneurs have spent years, many of them, actually, even decades, investing in every other aspect of their business, their career, their skills, their team, their systems, and their wardrobe. Well, that's just always been an afterthought because we've been told how to dress a certain way, as I stated earlier. We've been told to wear the black, the brown, the gray, the blue suits, but never dress for you. So we were all, in some sense, a performer, because that really wasn't who we were and who we actually are. And that afterthought, it's going to cost you in ways that you can't always quantify, but you will always feel. In the moments of hesitation before you walk into a room, in the way you decline invitations because I have done this to events, because you don't feel like you have anything to wear or it's not good enough to wear. And in the way they you show up to important conversations, carrying just a little bit of doubt that you can't shake to where your voice can't be heard or even be a part of the conversation. So shrinking yourself. And that is the real cost of an unintentional wardrobe. It's not the money you spent on the clothes that you don't wear, it's going to be the confidence that you are always leaving on the table. So, to conclude and bring all this together, your wardrobe, it ain't a vanity project. It is not shallow, it is not a distraction from the work. It is actually literally a part of the work. It is one of the most accessible. Most immediate ways you have to align how you feel on the inside with what the world sees on the outside. And we've been taught really not to do that. And it is so quiet and can be such a shift in how people see you and how you show up. It is the one tool that you we need to begin to start using a little more. And it is, and I will iterate this again: it is the one thing that you control. Nobody else controls it. You get to show people and show up how you want to be seen, and you get to communicate how you want people to see you and hear you in a silent way. And when these two things, when they come together and they're in sync, you don't just look different anymore. You will actually begin to lead differently. So the question isn't, does it matter? The real question is, are you willing to treat it like it matters moving forward? And if you are, and you're like, you know what? I want to learn more about what this is and how this can actually help me, well, I'm glad that you do. And I invite you to take one next step, just one. I have officially opened the doors to the identity architect blueprint. And it's the work that I do with executives and entrepreneurs and executives and people in executive spaces. So if you're an admin, if you're an executive assistant or chief of staff, this all includes you too. And this is for all of you who are ready to build a wardrobe that functions as a leadership tool, no longer as an afterthought. Now we are going to go deep. I'm going to ask you some questions and we're going to make it get it and get it real. And that's okay. Because what I want to help you do is build something that actually works for your real life and the rooms that you're walking into now and even in the future. So if you are ready to have a conversation, the link to book a call with me is in the show notes of this description below in this podcast. So just come and just have, let's just have a conversation, a girl chat, and let's just figure out together what your next level looks like from moving forward. And with all that being said, I'll see you in the next episode.