3 Mindset Shifts to Help You Manage the Holiday Season

Does the month of December fill you with joy or stress? This month is full of excitement, but also full of dysregulation, disrupted routines, extra demands, and emotional overload for everyone involved. 

In this episode, we’re kicking off the Surviving & Thriving in December series with three powerful mindset shifts that can help you navigate the season with more calm, more clarity, and a whole lot less pressure.

As a special education teacher, I’ve lived through my share of over-the-top Decembers—trying to make it magical for my students, my coworkers, and my own family. And I learned the hard way that the magic happens when we let go, not when we pile more on. 

Today’s episode walks you through three mindset shifts that will help you reclaim your peace and set a grounded tone for your classroom.

In this episode, you'll learn:

✨ Mindset Shift #1: Ditch Perfectionism
Why “done is better than perfect” matters now more than ever—and how letting go of unrealistic expectations can transform your December.

✨ Mindset Shift #2: Release the Guilt
How guilt disguises itself as responsibility, and how to give yourself permission to say no, do less, and let “enough” be enough.

✨ Mindset Shift #3: Bring Down the Tone of the Holidays
How lowering the emotional volume helps students regulate, paras feel less overwhelmed, and you maintain your sanity.
Plus, I share a personal story about my daughter’s favorite Christmas memory—and why it had nothing to do with big plans or perfect decorations.

✨ Final Thought: Give Yourself the Gift of Grace
A gentle reminder that you deserve compassion in this season just as much as anyone else.

This episode is perfect for you if…

• Your students are extra dysregulated and you’re feeling the pressure
• You’re tired of trying to “make December magical” for everyone but yourself
• You want practical, mindset-based strategies to keep your classroom grounded
• You’re craving permission to simplify, slow down, and breathe

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Chapters

• 0:00 December’s Unique Chaos
• 1:01 Meet Jennifer And The Mission
• 1:59 Mindset Shift 1: Ditch Perfectionism
• 4:29 Letting Go Without Losing Impact
• 6:29 Mindset Shift 2: Release The Guilt
• 9:11 Mindset Shift 3: Lower The Holiday Tone

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome back to Special Education for Beginners and the start of the last month of the year and the last monthly theme for 2025. December is a unique kind of chaos. You are caught in this tug of war between trying to make meaningful memories with your students and your own families while continuing to work and trying to simply make it through the days leading up to the break. It's joyful and exhausting all at once. And when you're spending so much time and energy pouring into your students, your team, your family, it's easy to forget someone important, you. That's why this month we are focusing on learning ways to survive and thrive in special education. Not just the think happy thoughts kind, but the protective, intentional, perspective shifting kind that helps you survive the middle-of-the-year slump without losing yourself in the process. Today we are starting with a few simple but powerful mindset shifts that you can make right now to protect your energy, keep your perspective in check, and make it to winter break feeling more grounded and less burnt out. Let's get to it. Hey special educator, are you overwhelmed by the absurd amount of paperwork on your to-do list? Do you wish you had the skills to build a rock solid team with your staff? Do you find yourself scouring the internet for how to meet the needs of each student on your caseload? Well, hey there, I'm Jennifer Hoffiber, an award-winning veteran special education teacher and current instructional coach who has walked in your shoes through each of these challenges. And yes, I have the metaphorical blisters to prove it. I have cried your tears and felt your pain, and now I'm here to support you in the way I wish someone would have been there to support me. Listen in each week as my guests and I dish out practical wisdom to help you handle all the classroom curveballs that are thrown at you and learn how to laugh in spite of the chaos to celebrate those small yet significant victories that only a special educator can understand. So, are you ready? Wipe your tears and put on your superhero cape because together we are going to learn how to survive and thrive in the ever-crazy, completely overwhelming laugh to you don't cry profession of being a special education teacher. So the first mindset shift is ditch perfectionism. Years ago, I used to run myself into the ground trying to make December magical for students, my school family, my personal family. I would spend hours curating personalized gifts for my students, baking treats, and let me add, I don't bake, so that was an additional stress, designing the perfect bulletin boards and door decorations, and showing up to every single holiday event, even when I was exhausted. I even felt the pressure to get something meaningful for every teacher my daughters had, for the paraprofessionals who worked in my department, my administrators, and even a few special general education colleagues. I was trying so hard to make it perfect for everyone that I missed the joy entirely. I would get home at night and crash, barely able to be present for my own family because I had stayed up late and then poured it all out during the days. I would snap at my family and have a crappy attitude. Perfectionism can be sneaky. It disguises itself as just trying to do a good job. But really, it's a fast track to burnout. And that's why I'm giving you permission to change your mindset about thinking everything has to be perfect. Your students don't need Pinterest perfect decor or activities. They need consistency, they need warmth, they need you, just as you are, not some fancy version of who you think you need to be during this time of the year. And once I learned to scale back, something rather interesting happened. Not one single student asked why we weren't doing a fun craft or why my door didn't look like it came straight from the North Pole. Not one teacher asked where her yearly chips and salsa went. Not one admin wrote me up for not gifting them a plate of cookies. Instead, the world kept spinning. My students still felt loved, my own family was happier because I wasn't a grumpopotamus anymore, and I felt better, lighter. December has a way of luring us into unrealistic expectations. We imagine these ideal classrooms filled with twinkly lights, perfectly behaved students, and activities that spark joy and academic rigor all at once. But here's the truth, perfection is not the goal. It's not even helpful. You don't have to transform your classroom into a Pinterest board. You don't have to create elaborate holiday units. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You've already done so much this year, you already give so much of yourself. So let go of the idea that you need to do it all. Do what you are able to do and let that be enough. The second mindset shift is to release the guilt. Once you've loosened the grip of perfectionism, you might think that you would feel relieved, but often something else sneaks in to take its place. Guilt. Guilt creeps in hard this time of year. You have guilt for saying no, guilt for not attending every extra event, guilt for turning on a video so you can finish your IEP progress reports. Guilt for running on fumes by the time you get home to your own family. Guilt for not being able to make everything magical for everyone around you. Guilt for saying no to that potluck at school or skipping the cookie exchange. Guilt for not creating a craft to send home to parents. Guilt for grabbing fast food, again, because there's no energy left in the tank to cook at home. But unfortunately, guilt doesn't serve you or your students or your own families. So why do you hold on to it? You hold on to it because guilt disguises itself as responsibility, as being a good teacher, a good parent, a good teammate. But in reality, guilt just weighs you down and drains the limited energy you do have. It convinces you that doing less makes you less, less dedicated, less caring, less invested. But here's the truth. Your value isn't measured by how much you do or how many things you check off some invisible holiday should do list. So instead of letting guilt run the show, remind yourself what matters. Your peace, your relationships, your presence. You are enough even when you do less. You are enough even when you say no, and you are enough even when you need a break. Let go of that guilt, not because everything is done, but because you've done enough. And then mindset shift three is to bring down the tone of the holidays. One thing I've learned over the years is that the tone we adopt for the holidays, whether it's intentional or unintentional, often matters more than the words we say, the activities we plan, or the schedule we're trying to keep together. And during December, the tone of your classroom can get chaotic. The holidays bring excitement, but they also bring dysregulation, schedule changes, sugar highs, assemblies, cold weather, sickness, and a whole lot of unpredictability. I'm giving you permission to bring down the tone of the holidays. Of course, you can't always control the chaos, but you can at least try to control the tone of it. Not everything has to be sparkly, loud, festive, or high energy. You don't have to match the hype around you. You don't have to turn your classroom into a winter wonderland. You don't have to keep up with a teacher down the hall who goes all out. What your students really need is stability. They need calm moments when the world is overstimulating. They need simple routines when everything else is off balance. This mindset shift is about stepping back and saying, we're going to keep things at status quo as best we can here. Choose soft lighting instead of flashing lights. Pick quiet activities instead of high demand crafts that make everyone want to pull their hair out. Continue with predictable routines instead of constant surprises. Choose to intentionally lower the emotional volume of December so that students stay more regulated, paras feel less overwhelmed, and you get to maintain some sense of sanity. If you want to do something special, choose things like reading a story by lamplight and drinking hot cocoa. Play Christmas music during work time. Turn your smart board into a crackling fireplace and have a snack. Play a quiet game. You get to choose the tone you want your classroom to carry. And I promise, bringing down the tone won't make the season less meaningful. In fact, it often makes the moments richer, more centered, and more memorable for everyone. Just recently, my second daughter told me that her favorite Christmas memory was sitting on my lap in the dark, watching the Christmas lights while soft Christmas music played on the TV. No talking, no big activity, no noise, no gift unwrapping, just quiet connection. That moment, simple, calm, and completely unplanned, is what has stayed with her all these years. And it's such a reminder to me and hopefully to you that lowering the tone doesn't make the season less meaningful. Sometimes it makes it more meaningful. It creates space for peace, for presence, for connection. And those are the moments our kids, both at home and in our classrooms, remember long after December is over. And then one bonus tip for you is to give yourself the gift of grace. This season is all about giving, but don't forget to give something to yourself too. I'm not talking about a new pair of shoes or a cute Amazon find, although those little treats definitely have their place. But instead, give yourself grace. Grace to rest, grace to step back and say no, grace to let something go without apologizing for it, grace to say, this is enough and truly mean it. Because it is enough and you are enough. You've made it this far in a school year that's already been full of challenges, pivots, and emotional labor. You are still showing up. You're still caring. You're still giving students what they need, even if it looks a little different in December. And that matters more than you know. So as you move through the holidays, give yourself the same compassion, flexibility, and understanding that you extend to everyone else. That's the real gift that will carry you through the rest of the year. Thanks for listening today. I truly hope you take the permission to ditch perfectionism, release the guilt, and bring down the tone of the holidays so that you can actually enjoy the season instead of just surviving it. Next week we're continuing our surviving and thriving series with another simple but powerful strategy to help you navigate the stretch of the school year with confidence and consistency. You're not doing this alone, and I'm right here cheering you on every step of the way. See you next week.