Holy Grieving - Ep 07

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Welcome to the Soma SoulWorks Podcast! This podcast serves to help people, particularly those who may label themselves as "creatives," to seek wholeness and calling so they are ready to embrace the mission God has for them. Consider this podcast a rogue harmony of professional development and self-care, hosted by John Bergquist and Chris Skaggs.

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Today’s podcast format is unique. We start by introducing Soma’s Creative Director, Mark Söderwall, who will be integral to today’s discussion. Next, we invite you to an audio recording of a recent Jesus Time (Soma’s in-shop version of Tempus Divum). After the recorded message is complete, Chris, JB, and Mark will debrief. All the audio has been seamed together by our Sound Designer, James Marantette, so you only need to click on the episode to listen. Thanks for tuning in today.

What's covered in this episode: 

• Grieving is not commonplace in North American culture, but people in the Bible are not foreign to grieving, so it’s something we should learn how to do, and do it well.
• Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Sabrina Walters (who happens to be JB’s sister) joins to discuss her perspective on what “holy grieving” means. For a more in-depth look at her talk, please see Tempus Divum Episode 15 on Holy Grieving. 
• Grieving is difficult. However, grieving does NOT make you less than a whole person. And, according to Mark, “God is a gentleman,” by which he means that God won’t force you to grieve, or to grieve with him. If you want God to be a part of that process, he’ll likely need to be invited. As Mark recently started to identify losses in his life that had never been grieved and started to invite God into that healing process, he’s experienced a “surge” of creativity and innovation.
• JB shares that when two family members and role models in his early teenage years died, he let his creativity slip because he didn’t grieve the losses. He’s spent the last 30+ years on a journey to re-embrace creativity. 
• Soma Games largely caters to a creative workforce. Chris shares that by asking hard, unexpected, or unconventional questions, Soma’s leadership offers space for their workers and contractors to wrestle with soul stuff that they may have never realized needed healing.

Grief and acceptance. (an endnote from Sabina)
When we think of the process of grief, the end isn’t that everything goes back to normal, or that we are able to “accept” that which will NEVER be acceptable! It simply means your brain has been able to gain flexibility again. When we are deeply grieving, our brain becomes rigid, much like when we are in fight or flight mode. We can’t really think straight. We often just react (anger, bargaining, depression). We are stuck. To reach a place of acceptance means your brain is able to think outside the box of grief again. It becomes flexible and not stuck in a depressed or as John stated earlier, less creative mode. You are once again able to think creatively, problem-solve, and truly live again. It doesn’t mean that you will be able to ever be the same as you were before the loss. No. You will always be changed, but your brain will allow you to be able to think more clearly and move you forward in new ways (and some old ways too), but you will no longer be stuck. 

Resources: 

• Verses:
  • John 10:10
  • Mark 10:13-16 (JB meant to