Paper Flower Consortium's historian, Loretta Fabron Onfoy, explains the importance of a varied diet to the vampire and why it is a bad idea to rely solely upon humans for food. She tells the history of how the vampire, now known as Marcus G. Faccio, crossed the Atlantic when he was thrown overboard on his way to America.
Written and Performed by Elizabeth Guizzetti
For more information or to ask Lady Loretta a question: please visit https://www.elizabethguizzetti.com/paperflowerconsortium or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
00:00 Title: (Loretta's Theme by Evan Witt playing in the background)
Paper Flower Consortium: Episode 11: The Importance of a Varied Diet
Recording by Loretta Fabron Onfoy, former lady of the Kingdom of France and current historian and librarian of the Paper Flower Consortium.
00:36 A Discussion of Vampire Nutrition
Tonight we shall be discussing a vampire’s nutritional needs. So let us begin:
We must have blood, and human blood is preferable. We have discovered around two pints of human blood a week keeps an average size vampire rational. Smaller vampires need a little less, larger ones need a little more. But that two pints is not enough to sustain us. And we must consume something with blood at least nightly.
Humans are delicious, but not the only source of meat and blood on this planet. Most of us enjoy at least two meals in a 24 hour period, some of us enjoy three, some of us are grazers.
Now we have heard of some vampires consume only blood, and while it sounds like heaven, it is an expensive way to exist. As you would have to move one place to another constantly and live in the shadows. By eating several common livestock species and not only relying upon humans we do not require the death of humans and this means we can live more modest lives and be part of society.
Some believe we cannot eat dead flesh. Or drink dead blood. We absolutely can.
We have the ability to eat the flesh of humans as well as animals
With modern cooking methods and refrigeration, we can actually kill a cow and feed several vampires for weeks. Some of our number near water eat fish. Many hunters in rural areas love venison. And of course, Americans do eat a lot of beef, pigs, and chicken along with smaller amounts of more exotic animals. We can also consume rotting carrion and coagulating blood, but fresh taste so much better.
I’d like to claim fresh food healthier, but there is no evidence to back that claim or disprove it. Before there were enthralled humans were common, plenty of vampires consumed dead flesh.
Though we are carnivores we can eat other things, but not all foodstuffs are palatable to us.
I shall speak in generalities here, but vampires tend to be allergic to wheat, rice, corn, and other grains, including ancient grains. Some can digest some grains and not others. We also tend to struggle with legumes and other densely fibered foodstuffs. It generally tastes like ash in our mouth as a warning not to eat it.
We do drink water and eat some fruits and vegetables as long as they don’t have too much fiber. Most of us enjoy alcohol, juices, or sodas as special treats. And Seattle vampires, especially those changed after the 1970s, love coffee. Us, older vampires still enjoy a hot cup of bullion on a cold winter’s night. Though apparently, that drink has fallen out of favor with young people. Jakub and George who have sweet tooths and they love hot chocolate. And even Gaius after 2500 years, has an old Roman herbal blend that he still drinks for the “health benefits.”
Though many fictional vampires don’t seem to have the need, real vampires evacuate our bowels and bladder with regularity.
A word about coconut water as this always comes up. As veganism has expanded, vegans have come to the coven claiming they can survive without blood, but we turn them away if they are unwilling to drink blood. The reason why is we simply do not know what would happen, but we have seen vampires fail to thrive and waste into wraiths, and have seen them lose their ability to think and reason due to hunger. And a hungry vampire is a dangerous vampire. We live with humans and will not risk them on a vegan vampire experiment.
Now the basis of this idea is that coconut water is “identical to blood plasma.” It is not.
The truth is those making that claim are generally companies selling coconut water or internet memes.
There is anecdotal evidence that it was successfully used as an emergency hydrator in World War II when there was no saline available, but that does not mean it is “identical to blood plasma”
While we can drink some coconut water without ill effects. As a drink, Coconut water can be a refreshing hydrator. Many enjoy the taste of it, and for what we have seen it is considered a healthy beverage. If the shell has not been cracked, coconut water even can be regarded as sterile.
Scientifically coconut water is not identical to blood plasma. It is more acidic and does not have the same sodium, calcium, magnesium, and potassium ratios as blood plasma, so to claim that it is identical could be dangerous.
As a side note: please do not assume everything on the internet is true especially if it comes from a meme!
If you are a vegan or otherwise concerned about eating brute animals, then just stick to consenting humans. No one gets hurt, enthralled humans have many benefits plus enjoy the sensation, and since you’re eating local, it probably even lowers your carbon footprint. The only possible disadvantage is it might get fairly expensive depending on your obligation to your enthralled humans.
So tonight, I almost told you how Charles lost his mind in the deep forests of the Pacific Northwest, due to the loss of his earth which made humans incredibly hard to catch and kill. However, I decided the lesson is even more illuminating if I tell you how Marcus Faccio’s misadventures when coming to America. If you do not remember he is our brethren from Strawberry Fields and husband to Pascaline’s First Born, Alice Monroe, came to America.
I first heard this story in 1952 when it was told to Norma distract and entertain her after her species test by the council. I asked if I might record the story for posterity, and Marcus agreed. And when I asked for permission to retell it for this lesson, he was absolutely thrilled.
Now before I get started, You see, Marcus has one other distinctiveness, he is the only vampire in our acquaintance, beside Norma, whose species was challenged. He wanted to ensure Norma had an ancient’s protection during the bloodline testing—which she needed. Afterward, she was injured and refused to take vampire blood because she knew healing fast would be painful.
Trying to calm her, Derrik sat with her and told her one of her favorite stories. I believe this story made her feel closer to him, knowing he was once a teenager in a coven—even if he was still a human.
And Marcus was especially impressed that Derrik and Jakub successfully crossed the Atlantic with three sleeping vampires and only the deaths of three sheep, And so Marcus swore allegiance to such a great strategist.
And of course, Jakub answered, “Yes, a thrifty wife makes all the difference, Agata’s planning kept us safe. On this venture, I was simply her and our girls’ and Derrik’s protector.”
So impressed, Marcus told us his history and eventually how he crossed the seas to America. He admittedly did not plan as he well as he ought.
06:56 History of Marcus G. Faccio.
Marcus Grecus De Faccio was born in Naples when Naples was part of the Rome Empire in the 2nd to a merchant family. Now in Naples, a femminiello is a legitimate and long-standing third gender, but this lesson is not the place for drawn-out gender studies, so forgive me if I oversimplify. In general, Naples used the pronoun “he” for femminiellos and in general, Marcus had and have male privileges and responsibilities. Marcus said he used he/him for centuries and probably won’t to change now, but he might some night, who knows? Also though he lived as a homosexual in Naples, he is not exclusively anything in eternity. He enjoyed the company of all genders. In Naples as now, he doesn’t always dress as a woman, he doesn’t always dress as anything.
A Femminiello was considered lucky, and sailors loved to take them gambling. One night, the sailor happened to be a vampire, and Marcus was transformed.
He never knew much about the man who transformed him as he sailed off the next night.
After all, other than taking blood from willing men, Marcus felt his life did not change that much, he was a night owl and he still lived with and cared for his widowed mother until her death. And in these early years, Marcus did not know his gifts. He almost never killed, or turned anyone, he simply took a little nibble when he was close enough to do so.
As a gender, the femminello were also considered good with and to children. Mothers tossed coins for blessings on their newborn babies. And indeed, he did like children, so Marcus learned medicine of this time, and so not only did he bless children, but he was able to prescribe herbs, sunlight, or lemons to keep them healthy.
He remained in Naples for many centuries but dropped his family name when it became cumbersome and went by Marcus the Medicus.
When doctors and others were hated, he became an actor and found the love of the stage. He danced at times, and sometimes he just returned to selling his luck as a femminello to sailors or blessing children. Sometimes people just called him vindecător or healer or Herbman or Herbson.
And he roamed Europe for centuries, He has created offspring, As you may remember in France, he is the creator and was the lover of Sister Sophie Marie. However, though he enjoyed company of others for short periods of time, he felt too many vampires would bring the wrong type of attention, so he tended to wander alone, making his way, trying to remain ahead of those who hated vampires and in later centuries those who hated pagans.
Eventually, he went to Spain primarily because they were crossing the sea to America. Marcus didn’t want gold, he wanted freedom. So paid for a private cabin.
Marcus pretended to be seasick, which is why he only stepped out on the deck in the night air.
He had brought along dried meat, but unfortuantly the ship was caught in foul weather. He did not have enough for the journey and too soon, he was purchasing sailor’s rations. the sailors rations, at this point in time, primarily the proteins at this point were fish, chickens, and eggs, were not enough to keep him from hungering. And though he choked down dried bread to keep himself full, it also caused him to feel queasy.
And then he caught the eye of a handsome sailor who joined him in his bunk as it made his journey easier and passed the time. Then one night in a fit of passion and hunger, he bit the sailor too deeply. Blood squirted across the tiny cabin and the sailors screams echoed across the deck, across the sea. It didn’t take long for the sailor’s crew to find them.
Fearing rabies, illness, or perhaps vampirism, who really knows, the sailor and Marcus were thrown overboard. They weren’t cast off on a lifeboat. No, they were just thrown into the sea.
13:13 Sustanence in the Sea
His lover knew how to swim and showed Marcus how to float on his back. Marcus did as he was told, but he knew the sun would rise, and he would burn. But waves crashed around him, Marcus felt the agony as his lungs filled with water. Cough Cough He spat it out and more splashed in. His eyes stung, and his fingers grew numb in the cold Atlantic as his body dropped to the temperature of the sea.
Of course, his lover was bleeding into the sea, his wound open, every drop of precious blood floating away. Marcus could hear the panicked heartbeat, the thrashing limbs before his heart finally gave out.
Marcus did not waste the corpse. At first He tried to hold on to it and sank into the abyss.
He tried to ration the corpse as he did not know how long he would be in the sea, and soon as the body bloated, it rose back to the surface.
Marcus realized it would keep him somewhat afloat, but the corpse attracted fish and other predators. The fish nibbled on Marcus too, but mostly they were interested in the easy prey of the rotting bloated body. This was not like it is today with the seas overfished and filled with plastic. Back then the ocean was alive.
Marcus knew he would need to take shelter under the body when the sun rose, which he did.
His chest screamed as his lungs and heart went through the pain of drowning, but there was nothing to be done, he didn’t chance surfacing as he could see the sunlight filtering and changing direction in the water. Worse, the fish nibbled on his ever-shrinking shelter, so there was nothing to be done, but get his own bites in.
At night, he tried to kick in what he thought might be a straight line, but the sun would rise behind him, and each day his lungs went through the pain of drowning again until his lover’s body had been nibbled enough that all the internal gas escaped and Marcus sank again.
As he sank, he dragged the mostly-eaten sailor down with him. He didn’t want to let his lover go, though eventually, there would be nothing but bone.
He was always hungry, but his stomach didn’t growl, or if it did, he couldn’t hear it. After all, his head ached from the pressure in his ears.
And Marcus wandered alone in the profound dark. Without the moon and stars or guiding light. He was afraid of sharks and other beasts moving in the murky water, but he was safe from the burning sun.
He did not know if he headed west, though he continued to the American continent.
Most fish were too fast to catch, but he could eat sea cucumbers, shrimp, and other bottom dwellers. Sometimes he watched ships fall to the bottom of the sea, and he ate the corpses if he could get them from fish. And sometimes he leaped towards the surface and snatched scraps from whales and sharks.
His vampire senses and instincts grew more intense in this world of the abyss.
Marcus didn’t really know if the merfolk knew of vampires, but they left him alone and shut their doors to him or chased him away from their villages.
His clothing quickly wore to nothing, and his skin became covered in algae and slime. His once lush dark curls were stringy and tangled. His body hair was coated in dirt, salt, and plankton.
Sometimes barnacles would attach themselves, but he would pluck them off and eat them. His flesh was mutilated by the enormous pressure and lack of it. At some point, his eyeballs and eardrums exploded in the deepest depths only to regrow again when he came across the body of a whale that he used as shelter and food.
He mimicked the sea creatures, to move as they did. And though he was not as fast, he learned to reach into a school or take them from behind. And he learned direction in this new environment and to feel the pressures of the depths. He sensed where it was deep enough for the sun to not hurt him, but not so deep that the pressure would destroy his features again.
The first thing he forgot was his name. In fact, he barely remembered being a vampire, much less human.
At some point, he lost time. His memories floated away from him. He could not imagine any future point. There was only the present.
And then one day, he found an empty boat on its side on the seafloor. Its ropes and sail were mostly intact. It caught Marcus’s attention because he thought a fish might be inside, but then on a strange reflex, Marcus pulled it from its grave. Tugging it along with him, he swam toward the surface, feeling for the sunlight. Once above the surface, he dumped most of the water from the hull and hid under the canvas using it as a shelter from the sun. Following the currents, he drifted with the innate knowledge that he would find himself somewhere.
He felt the agony as his lungs and bowels released the seawater, which had been there for months. Yet he knows he did not return to the sea to escape the pain due to some powerful instinct to survive. In fact, he might have had the instinct of a newly formed life crawling from the sea for the first time. No doubt, that was also painful.
At night, he climbed inside his boat and watched for birds, fish and sharks, seals. He was driven on errands he did not understand. He only knew he had to eat whatever he could catch, and he must remain with the boat.
19:39 Food of the Coast of Virginia
He is not sure but believes he was off the coast of Virginia, he saw land, the barriers islands, in the distance. He let the currents drive his boat toward them.
One night, he came across another fishing boat. He heard the heartbeats of the fishermen. With the hunger of a shark, he left his shelter and swam to the boat. He claimed he had no thoughts, just craving, and instinct. He ambushed the first man, incapacitating him by draining him of his sweet blood. Then he attacked his partner.
Both fishermen died screaming.
Feeling he was safe, he remained in this new place as it held a tiny cabin to rest from the sun and a bounty of fish in its nets, which he also consumed. Perhaps he was like a hermit crab climbing into a new shell.
Marcus found a small stash of coins, and compass, he bit into each item but did not remember what to do with them as were not edible or warm he did not know what to do with them.
As he found other small boats, he ate other small crews and their fish. Sometimes he remained on the new boat, sometimes he returned to his older one. He found more shiny treasures. At first he did not know what they were fore, but remembered woolens would keep him warm, so he began to strip his victims and take their clothing.
One night, he found a watch in the pocket of his newly found vest. And looking at it, he remembered that humans counted time and had names for the nights, days, hours and minutes. He pondered on this point for several nights.
And he remembered other things like candles and matchs.
Once he had the power of light and fire and time, he finally risked the trip to the land.
Like many Europeans without means, Marcus worked his way across America. It was easier to travel as a man, so he became a man. In this era, there were plenty of Italian Immigrants were shortening or anglicizing their names for ease of English speakers, so Marcus became Mark Smith. He told people how he was a fisherman who lost his boat and crew, which is why he had no identification and never wanted to go to sea again.
He met an Italian calico merchant who sold fabric to general stores across the country. He was careful not to let his species known, but worked a night watchmen for the man and learned English or at least a close enough approximation. And when he met his first vampire, somewhere in Kansas, he left the merchant to live with our kind and find his memories again. They assisted him in this by getting Napoli Earth sent to the coven.
Yet he did not remain there long.
He moved west coven to coven, trying to find himself and trying to find friends, but most vampires feared the ancients and were aloof to him. He found his way to Spokan Falls in 1893 (This city would later be changed to just Spokane) and he remained there for a few years, But there was some ugliness. Spokan Falls are the ones who challenged his species, hoping to kill him.
Due to his nomadic nature, most of their questions were to ensure he would be safe around enthralled humans after so many years of wandering alone.
Marcus admits he was an ancient around younger vampires and he could be strident.
He was not physically harmed though many questions were harassing in nature and these vampires were not kind. This was one reason, he was not comfortable around them.
He wandered Eastern Washingon for a time and eventually crossed the mountains to Strawberry Fields are the home of two ancients.
Hitomi and Kanae are true ancients as he is, so he felt quite at home in Bellevue.. He changed his name to Marcus Faccio and returned to his medical studies.
Shortly later he met Alice, while we honestly believed this relationship was just a dalliance on both of their parts, Marcus and Alice enjoyed each other’s company for nearly eight decades before Alice moved to Strawberry Fields where they married and combined their households in the 1990’s.
And of course, they have all of Paper Flower Consortium’s blessings. They seem to be truly happy in each other's company and no vampire can ever ask for more than that.
24:34 A Word from PFC
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25:30 : Questions
Alright, time for questions:
Initiate Robin asks: Lady Loretta, you mentioned that two pints of blood keeps you rational but does more blood make you more super-powered?
Unfortunately no, it does not give us superpowers. Human blood does heal us quicker than other animal’s blood, this might be because once we were human. Vampire blood heals us even faster. That is why I mentioned young vampires are often given the blood of their coven when they are first reborn and one of the first things Derrik and Xiao did when they got Norma home, was give her their blood. And even in the story, I mentioned tonight, if Norma would have taken blood, she would have healed faster. However, we feel the pain of the body healing which is why she didn’t do it.
Initiate Lynn asks: Do vampires need to worry about donor blood type?
The answer is not that we have seen. I have been a vampire for over 300 years and I have consumed the blood of every race from every geographical location I have existed in and have never felt ill effects from the blood. And it is illogical that my victims and enthralled humans all had the same bloodtype. In fact, we only learned about blood types in 1900, due to the experiments of Karl Landsteiner of the University of Vienna. He mixed red cells and a serum of each staff members. He demonstrated how the serum of some people joined the red cells of others. He identified three bloodtypes, called A, B and C (C was later to be re-named O). AB was discovered a year later. Landsteiner would later receive the Nobel Prize for his work.
Of course, we do not know why some vampires fail to thrive, perhaps blood type is part of that. This was one of William’s experiments out in Issaquah, but he was never able to prove or disprove the theory. And as a rule, vampires love their offspring too much to do such experiments upon them.
That’s the lesson for tonight. Now next time we will be learning about the power of earth and home to the vampire and why the Paper Flower Consortium offers longer term mortgages than a traditional bank.
27:40 In Closing (Loretta's Theme by Evan Witt playing in the background)
The Paper Flower Consortium Podcast was written and performed by Elizabeth Guizzetti. For more information, please visit: www.elizabethguizzetti.com/paperflowerconsortium
And while you are there, If you have a question for Lady Loretta, please click on the ask Lady Loretta button or email her at email@example.com If you want to support the show, please like and share this episode. Or consider donating either one time or through the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/paperflowerconsortium
The amazing intro and outro music was written by Evan Witt. You can learn more about his music at www.wittynotes.com
Thanks for listening: