Grandmother Love From The Vault

Re-Release from the BringJoy Vault.  Six years later this episode still touches the heart and makes you want to call your grandmother.  

This is all about grandmothers, and the love they give. Not just mine, but yours too.  I reached out to my friends via social media and asked them to share somethings about their grandmothers.  A couple hours later my feed was full of the sweetest memories reaffirming that doing an episode on grandmothers would be a crowd-pleaser.  It seems grandmothers are kinda like puppies, and babies everybody loves ‘em. If we set our intent on loving unconditionally, what a world it could be.

Production: Wonderdog
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Transcript

Welcome And The Joy Promise

Joy 0:03

Thanks for tuning in. This podcast is all about bringing joy through storytelling and conversation. I'll hit you with some wellness, inspiration, and splashing a little laughter. It'll be time well spent, I promise you that. So sit back and relax. Let's do this thing. Here we go, episode 5.

The Dressing Rule That Sticks

Joy 0:36

Don't start dry, won't be dry. That's what my grandmother said when she handed over the recipe and responsibility of the Thanksgiving dressing to me. Pretty simple, really. Put enough chicken stock in the beginning, it won't be dry when you serve. She didn't have a recipe written down either. She made it so many times she trusted her eye and touch. That made it tough to follow. But I listened carefully and channeled her hands when I made the first pan. And okay, I caught her a couple times too when I was making it. It turned out great. How do I know? There was no leftovers and I got the nod and week from Mawilla. Not to mention, I've been making it every year since. That's about 15 pans of dressing. But I use that advice every day. Don't start dry, won't be dry. She was literally just telling me to put enough stock. But you know me, I'm always looking deeper for life lessons. Wanna finish strong? Start strong. In other words, set your intent and let your actions follow. But pump the brakes, kid, we're not going too deep on this

Grandmother Names And Why They Matter

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one. This is all about grandmothers and the love they give. Not just mine, but yours too. I reached out to my friends via social media and asked them to share some things about their grandmothers. A couple hours later, my feed was full of the sweetest memories reaffirming that doing an episode on grandmothers would be a crowd pleaser. It seems grandmothers are kinda like puppies and babies. Everybody loves them. Some basics for this piece. As we move through, I might speak in the past and present tense. As some are lost, yet others are present. And for those who contributed, your memories are sprinkled throughout, so give a good ear and feel free to pause for a smile. I'll use grandmother when I'm speaking generically, and when I speak a mine, it'll be booboo or awella. That leads us to the first question. What's in a name? There are grandmas, nanas, mamas, nannies, grannies, moms, gigies, memes, yayas, big mamas, boo-boos, sweetloos, grams, grandmamas, mamas, memas, awelas, and omas. Whatever you call them, they're all pronounced with love. The consensus is the first grandchild gets a name in rights. The process isn't that complicated. In fact, the name is determined by what the first can pronounce. Simple as that. For example, mine was supposed to be boo mama, but my sister, the oldest grandchild, would only say boo-boo. And it's stuck. When I say stuck, I mean stuck. I remember the first time I heard my grandmother called by her first name. I was a little kid. I asked her why are they calling you Jeannie? She said that's my name.

unknown 3:23

Hmm.

Joy 3:24

I was like, okay, I'm pretty sure it's Boo-Boo, but I'm not gonna argue.

Kitchen Love And Family Flavors

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Yvette called her grandmother Yaya, and that takes us back to the cooking and into the kitchen. That's where a lot of the memories shared took place. Seems that our grandmother showed love through the belly bone. Besides keeping the fridge stocked with sodas and great snacks, they were awesome cooks, serving up Italian dishes like eggplant parmesan or sausage and peppers, or American classics like roast beef and fried chickens. Eat Cuban Tambian, black beans, picalillo, moietes, then the hambre.

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Ha!

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They had a sweet tooth too, and loved to bake. They let us help mix the ingredients for the snickerdoodles and hazelnut almond cookies. We still giggled thinking of squishing the Cuban bread and the milk with our hands for the bread pudding and waiting patiently for the golden cornbread to be pulled from the oven. Too soon it'd wiggle and too late it crumble. They showed more love by how they made even the simple things special, like blending the orange juice to make it fancy, or serving the guava nectar in your favorite glass, cutting that mango in perfect bite-sized pieces, or blowing on the hot soup and buttering your crackers. If you look at the recipes, you'll note love was in the ingredients and the directions. It wasn't just the good food served up at the kitchen table that stirred up the memories, it was the tea parties with the

The Lives Behind The Wrinkles

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good china, card games, rounds of dominoes, and cutting coupons from the Sunday paper. It's where we learned a lot about them through the stories they told. Like the time Willow was in a parade and caught the eye of a young man in the crowd. They got married and now he's your Willow. And that story about your grand going into labor and running out of gas on the way to deliver your mother? Or the one Boo told about standing on Main Street in downtown Dallas when the motorcade, escort, and JFK passed by. Those stories brought tears to their eyes every time they were told. It was hearing stories like those that reminded us they were even more than grandmothers. They were wives, mothers, sisters, and aunts. They had careers as writers, artists, and secretaries. They worked hard as cooks and housekeepers for others and their own. They survived wars and diseases. They stood with signs for the cause of their times. They experienced heartbreak and disappointment. They navigated through depressions, and some were immigrants who escaped communist oppression. Those wrinkles were earned and told stories without words. Maybe it's why when they hugged us, they held on so tight. They were soaking up some of our innocence. Those titles and stories were an important part of who they were, but 10 out of 10 times, they'd all agree being a grandmother and making memories with their grandkids was most important. .

Do Grandmothers Have A Favorite

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During this episode, there was one mystery I wanted to solve. Do grandmothers love each grandkid the same? Or do they have a favorite? See, I have two sisters and two cousins. We all had a special relationship with Boo-Boo. I'll agree to that. But I was her favorite, right? It's not just me. Scott shared a similar and sentimental story. He was one of six grandkids, but was convinced he was his grandma's favorite. On the day of her memorial service, he realized the other kids felt the same thing. When he asked his mom about it, she said, Your grandmother made everyone feel that way. I reached out to my friend Clara, who's a grandmother of six herself, and asked her to tell me the truth. Do you really love them all the same? Or do you have a favorite? This is what she said. Truly, my favorite is the one standing in front of me. The one I'm spending time with at

Weekend Rules And Life Lessons

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the moment. We cherish the time we spend with our grandmothers. Summers at the lake learning to swim and fish, or on the farm learning to churn butter, milk cows and snap peas. We love to spend the night with them on the weekends. The rules were different when we were with them. They let us watch scary movies and stay up late. We ate cake for dinner and ice cream for breakfast. They let us play in the hose and taught us how to catch the sun with a spray to make a rainbow appear in the sky. They taught us how to ride our bikes and crochet and sew. They let us listen to our music in the cars, even though it gave them a headache. And if you were riding with sweet Lou, you better hang on tight. She pushed that long link in the 70 with a cigarette hanging from her lip. Then there was Vicky Zuella who slowed it down to bike speed. She pedaled around Old Town Key West every night after work, waving to everybody on their porch. My sister Jeannie is going to be a grandmother soon. I've never seen her quite this happy. This knee popping kinda happy like she can hardly keep her feet on the ground. I'm not surprised at her excitement. She's been filling up this craft drawer for years in anticipation of a grandkid. I asked her what was in there. Crayons, construction paper, paints, glitter, pipe cleaners, clothespins, fabric, glue sticks. She's planning on making books with him and teaching him how to write letters to his grandmothers like she did with hers. She said she's looking forward to holding the baby's hand and having his little fingers wrapped tightly around hers. Which reminded me, I asked Clara if she kept pinky secrets with her grandkids. She said of course, but never for things that could harm them. Clara went on to tell me why a grandmother's love is different. It's love unburdened, because you don't have the total responsibility of raising them. Let me be free to be myself, maybe more childlike. Let me love in a different way than I did as a parent, but with the same intensity. Grandmothers can slow down and enjoy the grandchild in a way mothers can't, because they have so much going on. I may be partial here, but I think she's gonna be a wonderful grandmother. Or boo mama, or boo, or whatever the baby names her. And side note, in case your head is calculating the relations, my sister being a grandmother means my pal is having a baby, so that's gonna make me a great aunt. And that's no wordplay, because I'm legit a great aunt. But back to the grandmother chronicles, I've got some characters to

The Grandmother Characters We Treasure

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tell you about. Kristen's grandma Vicky loves the inner sweepstakes. She wins too. She's won trips to Vegas, cars, TVs, even a six-foot-tall stuffed dragon. But the best prize ever was a year's supply of frosted flakes. They're great! At 92, Grandma Lucky has no intent of slowing down. She learned to use a computer so she can enter more contests. Dolly Daggin was the name Danny's mom mom was given for being a tough, no-trifling Italian powerhouse at 5 foot tall. She could cuss you in English, Italian, or both if necessary. You talking to me? You talking to me? But most times she was full of love and grace. Seems many were sports fans. Doris Graham was the most loyal fan of the Kentucky Wildcat. She never missed a game. Her radio was preset to the cat's channel, and she tuned in from tip-off to the final buzzer. Jennifer Zawella was a legendary fan at the Key West High Kong baseball games. She sat in the front row to make sure the umpire caught a fair game for the boys in Crimson and Grey. How about a little serendipity? Ruth's two grandmothers lived right next door to each other. They shared a garden and a name. That's right, they were both named Ruth. Which was also the name of my step-grandmother, who I call Nanny. Technically, we all had two, one for each parent, right? But many had more. With additions of steps, greats, or adopted grandmothers, you know the ones that are no blood relation but close family ties, so they take you under their wing and love you like their own. Some of us were lucky enough to have our grandmothers around most of our lives. Tiffany's grandmama lived to be a hundred. Ever onward is how Mary's grand would sign off on all her notes and letters. Her family still uses that phrase today.

Letters That Teach Love

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Boo-boo would CORs with a red lipstick kiss. It was in those notes and letters that my sisters and I stayed bonded with our sweet boo between visits, as we weren't lucky enough to live in the same place. We were pimpals from the time we were kids until she passed. The proof is in the stacks of letters I still treasure today. From the note she wrote my mother when I was born saying she couldn't wait to meet me, to one of the last where she wrote, I hope to get to Key West one more time. It was writing those letters that I learned to write, but it was from reading hers that I learned to write with love. Here's one she wrote after one of her visits. I was around six or seven years old, and you'll hear it in the simple flow of the lyric. Dear Joy, do you know I miss you? I truly do. It seems just like yesterday, you were sitting next to me at the dining table with a grin on your face. When I think of you, I always think of you smiling. Guess you smile a lot, right? I'd like to be on the beach with you today, watching seagulls dive in your way, sharing a snow-combed flavor with peach, building sand castles on the beach. I'd like to watch you as you race to a palm tree and stand there waiting for me. I'd like to walk along the windy boulevard or just sit with you in the yard. I'd like to go downtown and hang around. These are the things I'd like to do if you had me and I had you. Love boo. And that love was the purest love, that unconditional love that makes our relationship with our grandmother so uniquely special.

Keepsakes Grief And A Dedication

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They love us with no judgment, just how we are. Be it sweet, salty, gay, straight, talented, boring, behaved or mischievous, they think we're perfect being just who we are. It's why when we lose them, we know we'll never be loved the same, but because they loved us like they did, that they always feel near. We all agree grandmothers are our family's greatest treasure, and while we closely guard what they leave behind. For some it's houses, even farms, cars or furniture. And there's small items that we can hold in our hands like photos, jewelry, ornaments, dolls, or those embroidered handkerchiefs. We hold them close to our face to feel them against our skin and soak up the smell of the perfume powder. Is it possible the smell still lingers on the items, or do they accompany the memories that are ingrained in our fibers? I assumed everyone had memories of their grandmothers, but learned that wasn't the case. Some passed away before we could make memories. I would like to dedicate this episode to the listeners who missed out on their grandmother's love. I hope hearing these stories made your heart feel warm. If it did, that's a grandmother's love coming through to you. Thanks to everyone who contributed by sharing sweet memories with me. I hope you caught the nod to your grandmother. Our grandmothers were strong, beautiful, caring, wise, and clever women who loved, nurtured, and in some cases helped raise us. We appreciate their advice and the lessons. We cherish and honor them in who we are. If we want to bring joy to the world, let's set our intent on loving unconditionally, like grandmothers do. OMGO My what a world it could be.

Call Your Grandmother And Closing

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If this episode made you smile and feel the love, call your grandmother on earth or heaven and tell her you're doing okay, and she brings joy to your world. I'm Joy Newleish and I appreciate you tuning into my podcast. My purpose is to bring joy into my life and the lives of others. If you enjoyed this episode, like and subscribe because there's a lot of good stuff on tap. You can also follow Bring Joy on YouTube or check my website at joynoolish.com. Now go bring joy to the people in your world. Until next time, much love.