E61. The Authentic Power of Mindfulness for Leaders: A Conversation with Samantha Amit |Part 2|

How would you like to lead with authenticity, foster inclusivity, and manage stress effectively all through the power of mindfulness? Our guest today, mindfulness expert Samantha Amit, brings a wealth of actionable wisdom to the ever-evolving landscape of leadership. Samantha guides us on a captivating journey, revealing how mindful practices such as open awareness and active listening can improve your leadership style and team dynamics with a sense of authenticity and inclusivity. 

Samantha shares practical micro mindfulness techniques to help us stay present, even in the face of stress. Beyond mindfulness theory, we also delve deeply into hands-on leadership exercises such as conducting an 'energy poll' and practicing mindful sitting. Samantha's insights teach us not only to be aware of ourselves but also honor the individual within a team, fostering a sense of community and support. So, gear up for an episode packed with transformative insights and practical wisdom from the world of mindfulness.

Visit LinkedIn: @samamit

Sam’s website: @ask-your-coach.com

Sam’s Leadership Program:@https://ask-your-coach.com/mindful-leadership-program/

Visit Sam on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/Samanthaamit

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi there, welcome to Conversations where we seek to advance your leader in team excellence by discussing relevant topics that impact today's organizations. Welcome to the show. Welcome back for part two of the Authentic Power of Mindfulness with Samantha Amit.

Speaker 2: 0:18

So what I want to do, invite in here, is this inclusive piece. So diversity and inclusion is becoming really big and bigger in organizations, rightly so, and there's a difference between actually talking that and bringing that in as a value into leadership and living it. So mindfulness really helps us create that inclusive, authentic and accepting way of being in the workplace. We do it for ourselves and we want to do it for others. That's what act is, because the A is the act is achieve me and myself. The C, the connect, is how I'm connecting with others. If somebody says something in a meeting, am I, you know, am I accepting, or am I even, you know, like considering maybe? Maybe what she says or he says, you know, is right or is interesting to consider? So it invites in this curiosity, it invites in an openness, mindfulness, because it's around awareness. It's around open awareness.

Speaker 2: 1:31

So we want to be listening. It's a kind of a listening, and then the reflection piece that you put on top is the learning piece. So what am I learning now? And so we can couple that together. We want to start with the awareness, and so the awareness takes us. We need to intentionally want to listen, because even now you are like looking at me and maybe you're thinking, okay, what's my next question? I'm going to ask Samantha, or you know, this is how we are, naturally, we human beings, you know, and so we aren't always 100% listening, because you're always thinking, okay, like in individuals in meetings, or leaders in meeting, they want to show up, they want to show up that they smart, so they think, okay, what can I do, what can I contribute? And they don't even know that they can just immerse themselves in the space and the answer will come.

Speaker 1: 2:25

The question will come from, really, that you know that listening, that open listening, yes, yes, and as coaches, it's super important to be in those moments with our clients and being able to have open ears and not necessarily be thinking of the next question, because then we're missing, we're totally missing out on what's happening in the present Right, which is rich.

Speaker 2: 2:56

Right. So you and I can do that because we've been coaching for years. Beginner coaches don't have that, you know, capacity or capability yet and that's grown. And you can practice that, as you know, as a manager, as an employee, as a leader within a company. You can practice that just being present, breathing in and out. Practice your breathing there's so much data on that today now that it calms the body and reduces, just so you can breathe while the meeting is going on. Just breathe now, everybody, while you're listening to us talk here.

Speaker 1: 3:33

Just take a few breaths.

Speaker 2: 3:35

Yeah, just breathe.

Speaker 1: 3:38

This one of my practices is the breathing. For sure, yeah, just breathing in for five seconds, yeah, yeah, and it relaxes me so much and even if I am awakened during the night, the one, the one word I say is breathe, and it triggers me and it reminds me that I need to, and I just and then I sleep.

Speaker 2: 4:05

Yeah, yeah. So the breathing is really important, even deeper breaths, because we have what's called I'm going to explain this also for the listeners or just in case they don't know but we have a sympathetic and a parasympathetic nervous system. So the parasympathetic nervous system is the one that calms us down and that's the one that mindfulness activates. So that's one of the big reasons we want to practice more mindfulness, because that's the calming system, that's the restoring system, that's what balances us out.

Speaker 2: 4:38

And the sympathetic system, unfortunately, is where we live most of the day. What that means is that our body's always in stress, ready for something to happen. So imagine like somebody shouts and you know, you know, we are on alert all the time. We're on alert too much, as if in nature we were seeing a bear and we had to run, but if we're not in nature and we're not seeing bears and we're not walking with the snacks that are crossing our path. So just, we need to give that sympathetic nervous system a break, because that's actually when it runs over and overdrive. That's how we get sick. That's the data. So we want to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and not only helps us to be calm. When we calm, we can problem solve. So that's really important in leadership.

Speaker 1: 5:34

Yes, and I wake up every morning and I take my numbers.

Speaker 2: 5:39

Yeah, yeah yeah, tell me more about that.

Speaker 1: 5:45

So I wear an HRV monitor in the morning. That's fantastic and I see. You know where are my numbers and where range. So, I'll have one to 10. Yeah, I like to be in the middle, excuse me, okay, I don't want to be, you know, parasympathetic, sympathetic. So this is like measuring your stress level. Yes, it is so it tells me do you want to need to maybe pump the brakes a little bit today and then go? Full force yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:24

Really recognizing what's happening and it's also made that I don't even recognize, but my body's recognizing.

Speaker 2: 6:32

Right, fantastic. I really think that technology can be so helpful today. So, for sure, if you've got something that can support you and help you use it.

Speaker 1: 6:41

Yeah, and it's part of the brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 6:46

Yeah. So I want to give another example. I was coaching a leader today. He's, you know, this new person I was telling you about in India. There's over a hundred people in his little org big company and he has about I don't know 11, 12 direct reports which he told me are all tech managers. So he doesn't really have people managers.

Speaker 2: 7:15

And what he was asking me is what do I do like when I get triggered and someone disappoints me, and then the disappointment turns to frustration, turns to even anger? What he said to me is that people notice it on my face and I'm getting this feedback that I am. You know they see it on my face. And so I said to him look up on, help you with that. You know it's nonverbal communication If he's angry. But I said what you can do is if you notice, if you notice that's the awareness piece again that something's upsetting you, you're getting disappointed or annoyed Just say just excuse me for a minute, I want to go get a glass of water, and so you excuse yourself and that pause, that time out which we know.

Speaker 2: 8:02

You know this is not like brain, you know, it's like. We all know that it's important to take a time up, but we don't do it. So I said to him you need to take a time out. So you take a time out. Go get a glass of water if you can. You know, like we've spoken about the man for walking, use the man for walking, leave your disappointment going to the body. You can do mine for drinking, by the way. Just take a nice slow drink. We're in a rush all the time and then we're done.

Speaker 1: 8:42

It's that easy.

Speaker 2: 8:48

So, so, so, actually, I do want to say one more thing. I hope I'm not talking too much. So you asked me about my you know how I came to mindfulness. So I'm very results orientated, so everything was going from like success to success, you know, as a leader, and so I couldn't enjoy the journey. So now, even though I still have like a post-it note to remind me, because I'm doing something new now, and whenever I do something new, I go into default mode of going from you know, results to results, and so I need to remind myself, even me with the practice. I need to remind myself to enjoy the journey of this new project that I'm on and our roots. Yes, it's okay to feel uncomfortable because it's sometimes it's hard. It's hard when we we try new things and we do new things that you know. Just be mindful, be aware of the journey, and then you can actually you can enjoy your life much more.

Speaker 1: 9:54

And you had mentioned the other day when we were chatting about edginess, and we're all. We can all be at that edge and it's normal to feel like to be feeling our bodies and it's just what we do with it after that, the intention, feeling and knowing and then what? To do with that?

Speaker 2: 10:19

So I'm not sure if this is what you're aiming at, but what you said triggered me to say something super important and maybe this is what we were speaking about before is that there's a huge myth that when you meditate or when you practice mindfulness, if you edgy, you're going to actually calm yourself down, and that's not true. It does activate the parasympathetic nervous system, but if you are stressed here, what happens is you can come down to here, but you're not going to come down to here. You're not like, let's say, you measure yourself, you like to be here. What I'd like to offer if you could do something. Let's say you're at an eight and eight, let's say, is high and you'd like to be a five. If I always say and I use this measurement with my clients, by the way, because a lot of them are engineers, so I like to give them a number rating so if you feel from one to ten, how stressful are you and you feel you're an eight, if you can move that down from an eight to a seven and a half, that's a huge one. And then you do something else during your day and you move that down to a seven. So that's what you want to aim for, and the more you have these micro practices within your day, you actually learn to calm yourself down, that when you do move up to an eight, it's easier to come back down to a five.

Speaker 2: 11:46

But many of us live on a seven or eight and that's not good out of ten stress levels and that's not good and it's not healthy in organizations, because what happens is emotions are contagious and then people around us start feeling our stress as well. So for everybody that we are interacting with, it's not only for us, it's for thinking if you care about others, then you know manage yourself better. Introduce more mindfulness into your day. You can call it something else, I don't care. Call it whatever you want, but find practices that activate the parasympathetic nervous system, that bring you into presence, that take you either inside or expanding to actually see what's going on in the experience around you. Some people are so like within themselves as well, they need to look around and say what's going on with my team?

Speaker 1: 12:46

So true, yeah, and I like how you just noted how just because you're going to be practicing this and starting the practice doesn't mean that you're going to be number one perfect at it. We have to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves as well. As if we move the dial just a little bit, give me smiling again. That's okay. It's okay, just dial it?

Speaker 2: 13:20

Yeah, because it's something.

Speaker 1: 13:23

Yeah, something is better than nothing.

Speaker 2: 13:26

And it's normal to be edgy, right, you can't always be happy and always be on top of the world. You need to feel all the spectrum of the emotions and the question is, when you're feeling edgy, how long does it take you to come back to center? And that's the resilience piece, which is that actually is an indicator of you know mental health, of how much you actually practicing practices that help you to be a stronger, more resilient leader, because things are always going to go wrong. Things go wrong. That's life. Right, it's life. We don't deliver on time. We are dependent, interdependent on others. We don't live in isolation. So I work with a lot of cross teams and people sometimes let you dance. Shit happens. You know I'm out of space on the spot. Oh, you're gonna edit this out.

Speaker 1: 14:31

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:37

So mindfulness makes us ready for anything, and it helps us be more human.

Speaker 1: 14:45

It helps us be more human. What a concept. Well, before we end with another mindfulness practice, I want to just really quick, because AI is just a hot button right now for everyone. I would love, maybe, to just get your thoughts on AI and where you see that with, maybe with the practice that you do.

Speaker 2: 15:15

Any thoughts on that? Yeah, yeah. So AI is inevitable, right, like technology, you can't fight it. So there is a quality called acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean that you don't want things to be different. So let's say, you're using AI and I don't know, something unfortunate happens as a result of the AI. Ai is gonna be here. It's like you know. Smartphones are gonna be here, cars are gonna be driving as a result of AI very soon, without drivers. Lots of stuff is gonna be happening, and so I think we do need to embrace it, as in learning how we can meet it In a way that is maybe curious.

Speaker 2: 16:15

One of the reasons why I practice mindfulness, which is the Thrav piece in the act model, the T, is if more people practice mindfulness in the world or something equivalent. Of course, there are many different things you can practice. There's compassionate leadership, there's servant leadership. There are many ways of being in the world that contributes to the well-being of the world, that moves out of the world, like again the me, and into the we. So when we do that, then AR will be used in a good way and we'll be able to have enough people that will maybe be able to, let's say, either combat or put a stop quickly to think, because accidents happen on the road, right, things are going to happen and we want to minimize those. So the more people that are here for the better, and all coaches that's what we always coach, as we hear to make this world a better place. And so if we bear that in mind, if we hold that space, then we can embrace AI and the good qualities of it and try to minimize the negative side of it.

Speaker 1: 17:26

And I believe you're spot on. It's just like anything else it's new, it's exciting, there's a lot of good, but there's the other side too. It takes the humanness of us, because we're driving it, we are teaching it. I mean, it's learning from humans. Yeah, it's going to be interesting to watch how everything unfolds, and we've had AI in the past. It just has not been so expansive and it seems all of a sudden it's on the scene but really little things that have been leading up to what we have now.

Speaker 2: 18:09

Yeah, and it will probably escalate quite radically in the next couple of years, if not in the next few months. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 18:24

Let's go ahead and end with. I know you mentioned another practice where it might challenge the listener a little bit more. So, let's go ahead and do that, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:37

So I'm wondering whether to do another practice where we yeah, another sitting practice, or actually give something very easy for leaders to do within companies. That all my, it's an awareness practice, it's a mindfulness practice because it's part of the act model, but it's not a meditation, it's less a meditation. So I'm assuming we don't have time for both.

Speaker 1: 19:10

We can, why not Okay?

Speaker 2: 19:14

So so you know what. So let me start with the practical one, for for leaders that are saying I don't, I'm not ready for mindfulness, I don't want to sit, and you know and let's do like a practical leadership that I have hundreds of people using this, using this exercise. So it's very, very simple. It's actually to get like a pulse. You know you have these environment surveys, you have 360s in the companies. Many companies are using them now. So, but what about you as a manager? Or let's say you are leading a meeting and you want to actually get a pulse on how people are coming into the meeting. So, as part of your check in, all you do is you ask them from one to 10, can you put in the check, because a lot of my meetings are virtual and they're not in person. But if it is in person, then you can do a quick rotation. I can see there's some, okay. So you do a quick rotation and you ask them to score from one to 10, how they're feeling right now. You know what's the energy level right now. And so let's say, a leader puts in, let's say, between seven to 10. When I say leader, from my point of view, everybody's a leader. Everybody that wants to show up is a leader. So anybody in that meeting you ask everybody knew yourself, put in the check from one to 10, what's your energy like now? And I'll ask this all the time in any one on ones. So you can use it one on ones when you're in your one on one meetings or you can do it in a team meeting. Now if somebody answers you honestly and they say they are five, or they say there are four or three or maybe even a six, let's say they're three, four, five, you know something's going on with them.

Speaker 2: 21:05

Don't go into task Like how's the? You know what's, you know? Give me an update on the project. You say, tell me more about that. Like what's going on? Now, if it's in a team meeting you can't do that. But obviously afterwards you're going to contact that person and I can guarantee you the people in there that can the meeting are also going to notice that. So they're also going to notice that that person wrote that they are four out of 10. And they're going to wonder what's going on for Tim or what's going on for Mary, and so this builds awareness and it creates like support within the team. So I love this. I call it an energy poll. Okay, so you do this one-on-one or you do this in the team the energy poll. So any questions?

Speaker 1: 21:49

I love that.

Speaker 2: 21:50

Yeah, and that's important. Yeah, yeah, very, very super, super important. I'm working with somebody new in my company at the moment and I'm working with him remotely, but I'm going to see him in person tomorrow and usually he tells me he's a seven eight, but he said to me yesterday that is a six, seven and six seven for him is a bit low, but because he's like 21 years older, I didn't want to push him. But when I see him I'm going to ask him how's your energy and what's going on, like what happened the other day. Well, I may leave it and just see how his energy is, but it's my way to know what's going on with people that I interact with. It's your way, as a leader, to know what's going on with people that you interact with.

Speaker 1: 22:35

Absolutely. The old way of leading is not relevant anymore. We have to have that pulse. It doesn't necessarily mean that we can fix it, but to be aware of it Exactly, To honor the person actually following up with them.

Speaker 2: 22:52

Right, so you just named it. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is to be aware of what's going on, not only with yourself, but also with others, to be aware of the person and to honor them. If every leader could, just you know, shut up like that every day, can you imagine what a world we would have? Beautiful, yeah, and so what happens? We've all got our stuff, and so mindfulness helps us grow those qualities, helps us grow empathy, helps us grow compassion.

Speaker 1: 23:26

Yes, right, was there one more?

Speaker 2: 23:34

Yes, so should we do the mindful sitting.

Speaker 1: 23:37

Yes.

Speaker 2: 23:39

So I'm going to give the exercise as if should I invite people to walk around and do it? What do you think? Maybe I'm going to invite people to walk around, but I'm actually sitting, so maybe it's a bit strange. I'm just thinking what we should do. This is what I do with my clients. I like, I like say to them what do you feel like? Do you feel like getting up? Do you feel like lying down? Oh no, I want to lie down now.

Speaker 2: 24:07

So, like, I design, my thing is designing things in the moment, and so I'm very creative and what I want to encourage you to do is be creative and experiment also with yourself in what's best for you. So you know what I'm going to do the exercises if we're sitting down, because Kelly and I are sitting down, and if you're tired of sitting down and you want to get up on your feet, so just listen to what I say and make some slight alterations and do a slow walking meditation, but slow, slow, listening to the podcast, and just make that small change. Especially if you're going to be going into a meeting now, straight after you've listened to this podcast, I highly recommend you getting up, taking a few walks and doing almost a similar thing, but then walking. Okay. So let's again, we sit up right, and that's also honoring ourselves right when we sit up right, and the idea is that your back is straight but not rigid. So sometimes I say to people just, you know, move your shoulders, move around in the chair, but and just get comfortable Now, and I'm going to close my eyes and what you can do is also look down and a bit ahead of you if you don't want to close your eyes and just gaze some way at one point. So I've closed my eyes and my hands are on my lap and what I'm doing now is I'm feeling my feet touching the floor and actually even push into the floor, and it's good for us because it grounds us to often need to ground ourselves and center ourselves. So just feeling your feet maybe your barefoot, maybe you've got your shoes and just notice yourself breathing, breathing in and out. No need to do anything special, we all know how to breathe, but I'm going to invite you to take a few, maybe just deeper breaths. So breathing in and breathing out, breathing in life and breathing out any tension.

Speaker 2: 26:25

And as we sit here in silence, where I'm going to ask you to do is ask yourself, when you finish listening to this podcast, what's important for you to bring in your next moments? Bring into your next moments as you move on in your day. How are you going to show up? Just think about that. What attitude are you going to bring into your next moments? So, to bring in tension into the moment. And then we're going to end the short mindfulness inquiry On behalf of Kelly. I'm also going to end myself. I'm going to thank you for listening and I'm going to thank you for experimenting with us and thank yourself for showing up today. So let's just practice mindfulness and gratitude. So, in your heart, just say thank you and when you're ready, you can come back and open your eyes.

Speaker 1: 27:47

Oh, saying on, that was fantastic. Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing from your heart your wisdom, for really honoring those who are listening with the exercises that you have brought to help them experience Because I love experiential learning so for them to really experience what mindfulness is just so relaxed.

Speaker 2: 28:16

Yeah, and you know what Just maybe I'll say for those of you out there that aren't relaxed it's okay, it's not going to stay, it's going to pass, everything passes. And so just maybe be kind to yourself if you're not feeling relaxed. And if you're feeling relaxed, then just enjoy it. I'm enjoying it, yeah, yeah, wonderful.

Speaker 1: 28:37

How can people get a hold of you if they'd like to learn more about the programs that you have or the services that you have? Where would be a good place for people to come and find you?

Speaker 2: 28:50

Thank you for asking. So my favorite place because I'm working with leaders a lot is LinkedIn, and so you can find me on LinkedIn. Samantha Amit, I have a YouTube channel as well On LinkedIn. Actually, I post a lot of these mindfulness practices. I give examples of case studies of leaders I'm coaching. And then there's my website, askyourcoachcom Ask minus coach, minus coach, ask your coach. Sorry, askyourcoachcom You'll probably put it in the notes of the podcast, I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and just believe in yourself and just practice and whatever you do, that's good. And then just you know, just be kind to yourself, just keep practicing.

Speaker 1: 29:44

Sorry. Yeah, thank you so much. I can't wait to hear what our listeners think about the practices and the knowledge and, like I said, the wisdom that you brought today, and hear their feedback on how, even just incorporating little bits of mindfulness, those micro moments, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you so much and we will see you soon.

Speaker 2: 30:09

Thank you, thank you so much. Bye for now, kelly.