Need Ideas? Here’s 10 Types of Funerals To Consider

This podcast does not provide medical advice. Please listen to the complete disclosure at the end of the recording. Hello, everyone, and welcome to Everyone Dies, the podcast where we talk about serious illness, dying, death, and bereavement.

I'm Marianne Matzo, nurse practitioner, and I've worked as a nurse for 44 years. I'm here to answer your questions about what happens at the end of life. And I'm Charlie Navarette, an actor in New York City, here to ask questions that may pop into your mind while listening to our podcast.

We are both here because we believe that the more you know, the better prepared you are to make difficult end-of-life decisions in advance before a crisis hits. So please relax and get yourself something decadent to eat and drink. Oh, good.

Get tea, cake and martini, cookies. You know, I go for the carbs. Sure.

And thank you for the spending the next hour with Charlie and me. In the first half, Charlie's going to take us to the Dairy Queen. Take us to the end of the abyss, and the abyss will look back.

And we'll eat ice cream while we do that. And in the second half, I'm going to talk with you about types of funerals. And in our third half, Claire Luckey, otherwise known as the Grieving Bitch on Instagram, is joining us for a chat.

So Charlie, have you seen this show on CBS called Ghosts? I ain't got no TV. Really? Well, but you can watch it on like your computer. I got no computer.

Oh, you're full of it. No, I have not. I'm sorry.

It's called Ghosts? Yeah. So there is actually a BBC show. Wait a minute.

Is this the same where people go and actually look for ghosts? Is that? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is like a sitcom. So BBC had a sitcom called Ghosts.

And you know how they exported The Office? Yes. Well, they exported Ghosts. And it had its first season, I guess, 2021.

And so it's this BBC series from the team behind Horrible Histories. So it starts, I happened across it, it starts with this old woman dying. And around her bed are all these people from different time periods.

It was like Sandy's picture when we did that end of life awareness thing. That picture she did of people in all different phases of ghostliness. And they're all standing around waiting to see if she's going to ascend or not, or if she's going to be stuck in the house as a ghost.

And so there's people all the way back to, I guess, there's a Native American, all the way back to a Nord. I mean, there's an American revolutionary soldier. There's all kinds of different people who've died on that property and are stuck there.

And so the show then goes on that then the niece of the woman who died comes, inherits the house. And so the rest of the show goes from there. But we watched the first episode and we're just cracking up.

I mean, they're just good jokes. They have a shtick for everybody. And they use the older people, the people who died 200 years and 300 years ago, use language like, in order to ascend from this life to the next, they call it to be sucked off.

And they keep saying, we just want to be sucked off. And the younger people who are from the current century laugh hysterically. And then they say to each other, don't tell them.

So there's generational humor. They discover the internet and TV. And it's just charming, actually.

And they're fun. So check it out. And you can actually, I know CBS, because it's last season, you can watch them all on the internets, as they say.

On the internets, there we are, yes. Yeah, so that's my, and I actually remembered the name of it this time. I'm getting so good.

It's the little things, Charlie, don't laugh at me. It is, no. Well, and it is that, you know, spring is in the air.

And in Tennyson's day, in the spring, a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. Nowadays, his intentions may be interpreted as aggressive and unwelcome. So, so much for modern times.

But for us Michiganders, our thoughts turn to grabbing a cheeseburger and dish of soft serve at local Dairy Queen. And this explains why there are so many unanswered thoughts in Michigan. The first of the retro fast food chain opened along Old Route 66 in 1940.

But today, there are thousands across the globe. Most people associate Dairy Queen with the blizzard. And for good reason.

It comes in a bazillion different flavors. It's cold, creamy, and delicious. And it's served upside down.

But did you know there was a time when you could not order a blizzard at DQ? I remember that. I do too. I'm just taking a moment.

Yeah, because we're old. Just because there was a... Because we're better. Not because we're old.

Well, we're old and better. But we can remember a time because we're old. Yes, exactly.

So, for our purposes, blizzards didn't come on the scene until 1985. Which means there are more than four decades of Dairy Queen treats who walked. So the blizzard could run.

One of those trailblazing treats is the Jack and Jill Sundae from the 1960s. In its heyday. I never heard of that.

Did you ever hear of that? I did. I don't remember when contact. But when I did, I remember also thinking, just like you, I've never heard of that until this moment.

And that moment might have been 30 years ago. Who knows? Or it could have been 10 minutes ago. Who knows? No, I don't think it was 10 minutes ago.

I'm not that far along yet. But in its heyday, this Jack and Jill Sundae was an order as common as an Oreo or M&M blizzard. M&M, is that martinis and Manhattans? I don't... I'm not sure.

I'll have to investigate. Um, but today you might be hard pressed to find an employee who knows how to make one. So as one of our favorite themes is everything old is new again.

We thought we would share the Jack and Jill Sundae with you. Why not stop at Dairy Queen for one on the way home from your next funeral? I'll tell you why not. Because they ain't sponsoring us.

Oh, that's a good idea. Well, I read the script and it's a rhetorical question. I see.

Okay, nevermind. When you go to Dairy Queen, you won't see the Jack and Jill on the menu. And you're going to think they were making up this Sundae.

Au contraire, mon ami. For decades, your choices at your favorite restaurants were limited to what was on the menu. If it wasn't listed in black and white on the menu, you would have a hard time ordering it.

The increasing popularity of secret menus has changed all of that. Secret menus are unofficial and unadvertised items on menus at restaurants around the world that allow you to customize what you eat to serve your unique taste buds. Secret menus items are passed from person to person through word of mouth.

Oh, yes. Ordering from secret menus is not hard, but you should follow some basic rules. Since secret menu items are not on the official menu, when you order, you should know not just the name of the item, but also the recipe.

It's a good idea to have the page loaded on your phone. Or maybe just be loaded, so that when you are in the store, you're ready to order your favorite secret menu item. Secret menus.

But keep it a secret. Don't tell anyone. Occasionally, some secret menu items will cost a little more because of additional ingredients.

But most of the time, you will be getting more for the same price. Which brings us back to what exactly is a Jack and Jill Sundae? The recipe is simple. One dish of vanilla soft serve, a waterfall of hot chocolate on one side, a pump.

You know, hot fudge, hot fudge, hot fudge. Didn't I say hot fudge? You said hot chocolate. Well, that was silly of me.

You give the wrong recipe. All right. Okay, so what exactly? Not to be fussy, but they'll go in and they'll say, I want hot chocolate.

Yeah, I don't know what this clown on the radio said. I don't know. It was on the radio.

So it was on the computer. So it must be true. That internet thing.

Yep. Okay, here we go. So what exactly is a Jack and Jill Sundae? The recipe is simple.

One dish of vanilla soft serve, a waterfall of hot fudge on one side, a pump of marshmallow cream on the other, and voila, your Jack and Jill is served. Marianne's favorite is the peanut butter parfait, or parfait, which is a sundae with hot fudge and crunchy peanuts, or try a coffee blizzard, Oreo or vanilla blizzard with coffee syrup if you want to get your toes wet ordering off menu. When you're ready to level up, the butterbeer blizzard, which is vanilla soft serve, butterscotch and butterfinger.

It is magical, but you won't see he who shall not be named ordering it. Ever. Please go to our webpage for recipes and additional resources for this program.

We hope you will follow us on Facebook and Instagram, and remember to rate and review this podcast. As a licensed non-profit organization, we are dependent on the kindness of our beloved listeners and always appreciate your donations, which are tax deductible. If you find this podcast to be of help to you, please go to our webpage to donate.

So that we can continue to provide quality shows about serious illness, dying, death, and bereavement at everyonedies.org. That's every, the number one dies.org. Marianne. Thanks, Charlie. So for our second half, I'm going to talk about the top 10 types of funerals, at least on my list.

Now, I'm not talking about what to do with the body. We have shows all about that. Today, we're talking about the funeral service itself.

And I'm going to organize this from like simple to complex. Some people don't want any type of service at all. We talked about that in another show and that's okay.

No guilt, no pressure. If you don't want to have one and you listen to the show and you say, okay, well, I understand the purpose of it, but I still don't want anything. That's up to you.

But for those who decide against any type of service, let's give you some ideas. So the first was what's called a direct burial. Now with this, there's no visitation, funeral, or even gravesite service.

The funeral home simply buries the casket. The immediate family is typically present and someone may say a few words, but the general idea is that direct burial is simpler. There is also the option to have a direct cremation.

Same idea as a direct burial, but different because the body's not being buried. It's being cremated and the cremains are being given to the family. This is the least expensive of all the options.

Sometimes a family member may choose direct cremation or direct burial with plans for a memorial service later. Number two, a graveside service, also known as a committal service. A graveside service is a funeral ceremony that occurs at the cemetery where family and friends pay their final respects before the casket is lowered into the ground for burial.

Because loved ones are committing the deceased back to the earth, this intimate service is also called a committal. A graveside service often follows a traditional funeral, but sometimes may be the only service a family chooses. Often a pastor will speak a few words of comfort, like ashes to ashes, dust to dust, or the funeral director may share a few remarks at the wishes of the family.

But otherwise, this service is usually short and simple. The third option, Charlie, is a memorial service. And it's one of the most common types of funeral services.

It's very similar to a traditional funeral, with the exception being that the casketed body is not present. Cremated remains in an urn may or may not be there. One aspect of a memorial service is that they don't occur within a certain time frame following a death.

The ceremony can happen a day after interment or inurnment, a year later, or whenever. The remains are not at the center of the service, but rather the focus is on the memory of the deceased. Number four, the celebration of life.

A celebration of life is a unique ceremony. It can take the place of a traditional funeral service, but it's common for it to occur days, weeks, or even years following the funeral. This means that the remains are not present.

However, this can vary depending on the family's preference. Celebrations of life are exactly that. They're celebrations.

Personalization is important in a celebration of life, and it's usually more joyful than somber. Depending on the region and culture of the family, a celebration of life may include food, dancing, and happy memories shared of the deceased. Number five is called a wake.

A wake is a solemn service usually occurring just before the funeral. The origins of traditional wakes are in Catholicism, so that the faithful may say the rosary during the wake. Traditionally, wakes take place in the home, but funeral homes now serve as the venue.

People sometimes call wakes visitations or viewings, but they're different. During the wake, loved ones come together to comfort one another and to pay their final respects to the deceased. The family or remains may or may not be present.

Number six is a viewing. The term viewing is often used interchangeably with wake in a visitation, but it does have an official meaning all its own. At a viewing, the body is usually present to be viewed by mourners.

The funeral home usually hosts the viewing the night before the funeral service. Number seven is a visitation. The body is usually not present at the visitation, which most likely takes place at the funeral home or at the family's home.

The emphasis of a visitation is placed on visiting with grieving family and friends, so it's going to be less formal than the funeral. Drinks, desserts, appetizers, even a potluck meal are all appropriate at a visitation. Number eight is a scattering ceremony.

A scattering ceremony occurs when a family chooses to scatter the cremated remains of their loved ones rather than keeping them or burying them. The ceremony itself is usually like a graveside or a committal service. Now, number nine is sort of like the whole enchilada.

It's got everything. The traditional funeral service is still the most common type of funeral ceremony held in many parts of the country. At a traditional funeral service, the casket or urn is usually present.

Friends and family may sing or play songs in memory of the deceased, and someone may also deliver a eulogy. Traditional funerals are often religious in nature, so a pastoral will most likely give a sermon. A hearse will transport the remains to the cemetery for burial immediately following the traditional funeral if there is a casket.

There may or may not be a short graveside or committal service at which the casket is buried or the urn is inerred. Following this, the family may host a reception or lunch in memory of their loved one. Now, number 10 is pretty complex, but my all-time favorite, and that's called a Viking funeral.

So you have these images of a flaming boat pushed out to sea is what most people imagine when they think about a Viking funeral, and most people assume that the body of the deceased is going to be fully cremated with the eventual burial at sea as the boat sinks. A traditional Viking funeral consists of burning the body or its remains in an open-air funeral pyre together with love trinkets for the afterlife. This allows the wind to carry the soul to Valhalla.

So the most famous Viking land of the dead is Valhalla. This was the Grand Hall in Asgard, the realm of the Asia gods ruled over by Odin, king of the Asia gods and the god of war, wisdom, and healing. With the assistance of the Valkyries, Odin chose fallen heroes from the battlefield to live in Valhalla.

There, the dead heroes would feast and fight until the arrival of Ragnarok, the end of the world, when they would fight alongside Odin and the gods of Asgard. So that's your goal, get to Valhalla. What exactly happened at the Viking funeral that accompanied the cremation or burial varied significantly and depended on local customs.

One thing that's certain is that large amounts of alcoholic beverages were consumed. According to the account of the Arab traveler Ahmad Falin, when one chieftain died, a third of his wealth was inherited, a third was used to supply his grave clothes and goods, and a third was spent on alcohol for the funeral. While longships featured in some Viking funerals, they were expensive, so that was a luxury that was reserved for the wealthy.

They were not also likely sent to sea because they would not burn hot enough to incinerate completely, so you'd simply result in burned chunks of ship and the body washing up on shore. Boats were thought to provide safe passage into the afterlife. The boat was so significant that the Vikings would also sometimes outline burials in stones designed to resemble ships.

There are also examples of Vikings being buried with weapons or horses, which were supposed to serve as transportation in the afterlife. Most Vikings were buried with more ordinary funerary goods, including worldly possessions that reflected their profession and life. It seems that the Vikings believed that they would need the weapons to live well and confirm their social status in the next life.

Vikings found in Viking funerals were buried with more ordinary funerary goods, including worldly possessions that reflected their profession and life. It seems that the Vikings believed that they would need these items to live well and confirm their social status in the next life. Now, modern laws and basic scientific principles make a Viking funeral generally impossible, although it is a way of sending off the dead that's still widely practiced in some parts of the world.

There are only two sites in the United States where it's legal. Both are in Colorado. Only one of them is public.

It's limited to no more than a dozen funerals every year. As for carbon footprint, in a report by the United Kingdom's Ministry of Justice, Ivan Vince, an expert in combustion science, he investigated the environmental and health risks connected to open-air cremation and found there was nothing to worry about. Vince said that health risks are negligible beyond 500 meters, and even those who are close are taking no greater risks than they would at a bonfire.

He also concluded that the funeral pyres held on woodland sites would have zero carbon imprint. However, it is possible to have a Viking-style funeral with the already cremated remains of the deceased or with something of importance to the deceased or even a photograph of the deceased rather than including the cremains. So once you decide exactly what's to be contained in the funeral boat, the next decision is to decide on the location.

The body water should be calm and the size of the body of water should be relative to the size of the boat that's being planned to be used. A small pond is not going to accommodate a full-size longboat, but it may accommodate a small replica boat. Conversely, an ocean burial, even three miles from shore, might be too rough of water and the ocean waves could immediately sink a small model of a boat.

Now, your second requirement, Charlie, is to obtain an appropriate boat or other floating item. The boat should be flammable and lightweight. Avoid thicker, dense woods because it's not going to burn and that's going to fail.

Something as simple as a cardboard box could be used, or something more complicated as a custom-built replica of a longboat, which I have a link in our show notes if you want to buy one of those. Once all the preparations have been made, the Viking-style funeral service can go forward. A send-off at dusk will offer nice lighting and symbolically showcase the dusk of life.

Flowers or other offerings can be placed within the boat or scattered in the water around the boat. One traditional offering that can be included in a modern ceremony is to pour an offering of an alcoholic beverage in the water or on the ground. Some words about the deceased can also be offered in a wish for a good life in Asgard.

The boat may then be lit and launched in a Viking-style send-off. A party that involves lots of alcohol to help the living honor and say goodbye to the dead is a Viking tradition that we could legally pull off today. And I think that sounds pretty grand.

Pretty grand? Did you say grand? Grand! And actually, one of the characters in that ghost show I was telling you about is Thorfinn Thor, who is a Viking that was killed on that property and has been stuck there for a while. Forever. Yeah, he's like one of the sweetest characters.

Not, I don't think that he plans to be, but yeah, so I thought of Thor and his wish for a Viking funeral that he didn't get. Oh well, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might get what you need. Get what you need, yeah.

Yes, exactly. And I hope you needed these 10 ways to have a funeral. Do you have a favorite one? No.

I guess my favorite would be the old, well, good night everyone, go to sleep now and then just not wake up the following morning, would be probably my favorite. No, that would be your death. But what about your funeral? Funeral, funeral.

Oh, yes. Yeah, you know what? The 10 things I just listed. You just listed 10 things? And none of them included you going to sleep and not waking up.

Where was I? And actually, Michael asked me this after my mother died. What do you want? That's a little diplomat. And what I explained to him, listen, I won't be around.

So whatever you want, you want to bury me six feet under, you want to cremate me, it's up to you. So with that, that's really my philosophy. Whoever's around, whatever that person desires is fine with me.

I'm not looking for anything. Yeah, I'm not looking for anything specific. I'm going to plan a Viking funeral for you if I'm around.

When I think of, and I don't know why every time I hear Viking funeral, I just go back to, you have all things Star Wars, when Darth Vader is killed and his child builds a funeral pyre and toasts Darth Vader on top of it. Yes. It's like a marshmallow.

But in Vader's case, like a black marshmallow because he always had that black outfit on. But you do digress. Yes.

So getting back on track, please say it too. What? What's for our third half? For our third half, everyone dies is pleased to welcome. We did ask everyone just to make sure that.

Yeah. Okay, good. Everyone is pleased to welcome Claire Lucky, our griever in chief and self titled grieving bitch to the show.

Hi, we're back with Claire Lucky, who goes by the Instagram handle grieving bitch. And Claire is a regular on our show now. And we kind of went through the whole backstory in a previous show and check any show notes for which link it is for that.

But we're going to now go back to the beginning of the story, which was in 2017. So Claire, you and Matt were dating. And how long have you been going out at that point before his diagnosis? We had been together for four years, and we had lived together for three.

Okay, so you met when you were how old then? I was the ripe old age of 25. And he was just about 30. Mm hmm.

So can you take us back to that diagnosis in 2017? Yes. Matt was a six foot tall, former roller hockey player, not one pre existing condition in the book. And by all my intents and purposes, a knight in shining armor.

So one fateful day in May, I decided to drag him to a spin class. And he was right next to me. And I remember looking over at him.

And I saw his eyes started to glaze over. And I didn't know what was wrong, but something's wrong. So I hopped off my bike, ran to the front of the room to get the instructor's attention.

And then he began to have a seizure. I had no idea what he was really experiencing. But 911 showed up very quickly.

And I remember feeling so flustered that when they asked me what hospital to go to, I instructed them to take me to the to Lenox Hill where I was born, because that was the only hospital that I really knew of in New York City. And we went, we went to the hospital. And I knew things were difficult over the course of the next 12 hours, because they weren't saying much.

And then the next morning, we had a doctor come down and tell us that there was a mass in his brain. Wow. And how did Matt take that news? He was in shock.

I think we were all, we were, we were both in shock, and we felt very lost. And it's, it's a surreal position to be at a hospital when the head of neurology comes down and explains this to you. And he also told us the urgency at which Matt had to have brain surgery, and that urgency was within a week.

So did you go home from the hospital, or did you just transfer right over to, where'd you go, Memorial Sloan Kettering? We stayed at Lenox Hill for the surgery. There's a fantastic surgeon there who performed surgery on Matt within a week. And luckily, we had a few days to kind of catch our breath and, and deal with what was upcoming.

But he was able to completely remove the tumor. And then Matt had radiation therapy and chemotherapy right after surgery. And there was no more evidence of the tumor, but it was considered stage three brain cancer.

And the formal name is anaplastic astrocytoma. And we knew that there was likely a chance of it reoccurring in five or 10 years. But him dying was not on the table at that point.

So how did you, so you guys were dating, living together, you were living together probably at that point? Yes, no? Yes, we were living together at that point. So how did that, how did that affect, like, how you moved forward? Like some, I mean, I've worked in, in the cancer center. And I've had people say, yeah, I came home with this diagnosis.

And my husband packed his bags and left and said, I didn't sign up for this. I'm not doing this. You know, people have all kinds of different reactions.

So you guys weren't married. Did, did you consider saying, I'm not signing up for this? I don't want to be here. I think in my case, in our specific relationship, it might sound a little corny, but I was, I was kind of putting off marriage.

I was, you know, I was still in my mid, late 20s. And I wasn't sure if I was ready to make that commitment. And even though Matt passing away or dying wasn't really on the table at that point, it still shook me enough to say, oh, no, I can lose this man.

And since I was the one dragging my feet, I remember that summer after he was diagnosed, I was sitting down at a picnic table with him and said, how about we get married? And that was really my informal proposal to him. And he thankfully said yes. So we, we set the wheels in motion and had one of the longest engagement ever because I never, I didn't really think a ton about marriage until all this happened.

And I was like, it had to be perfect. It had to be on the water and it was a wonderful wedding. And so, you know, I've had, I've had patients, I had one patient once who, you know, got a serious cancer and her thought was, this is going to kill me.

This is going to be the end of my life. And so she started gambling because, you know, I guess she just, I don't know exactly why, but she thought, well, you know, I don't need the money I've saved. I, you know, I'm going to start going, you know, to the casinos.

Well, she did, but she's still alive today. And she'll talk, she's a very funny woman and she'll talk and she'll say, I didn't plan on living and now I'm broke, you know, so there can be all kinds of different, you know, things that can happen. Did anything other than I want to marry this man and have a future, did it, did it occur to you at all that maybe that wasn't going to, that he wasn't going to die, that he wouldn't recur? What was your thought? I think we were relatively naive at that point.

I think we were maybe in a state of denial because we had latched onto the message that really what would happen was he could potentially be disabled on his left side and I felt like we could deal with it. And there were talks of us going to a more sophisticated cancer treatment center and it just didn't materialize in that point. And we kind of really wanted to return to our lives of working and, you know, working hard and playing hard and that's what we did.

And so he was able to kind of return to his former self in terms of personality and what he physically could do? He was. His tumor was situated on the right motor strip, which affects the left side of his body. So he, personality-wise, was the same.

With the left side, he had very minor weakness, well, weakness might not actually be the right word, sensation's the right word. I actually joked that he could be my human pot holder because he could touch a pot and he wouldn't necessarily feel if it was hot or cold. So that was really what he had.

He could still play hockey, which was his lifeblood. That's his happy place. So I was very happy he could do that as well.

And he returned to work. So we, that's what we did. Yeah.

And it's, you know, and I can see where, you know, in situations where people have certain kinds of cancers that you can see has resulted in, you know, like head and neck cancers or different things where you can see it, you can say, okay, there's the, there's the evidence that this occurred and that we went through this. Other kinds of cancers though, it's like, well, he's got a little bit of this, but the rest of it, he's doing everything and he's still Matt. And, you know, there's, there's, it's very easy to say this will all be okay.

This will all be okay. And, you know, it's always the hope and the wish that it'll all be okay. And it's really easy to say, to not even, I mean, it's not, I don't think it consciously to you that it's like, oh, I'm worried about this recurrence.

Or did you just like, we got this, we're good. We're moving forward. I think we were not worried about the recurrence because there's a lot of positivity around fighting cancer and having that, having a right mentality.

And also you wouldn't think that with a young, healthy man, you would kind of assume he could go back to his regular life and his symptoms and side effects were only internal to him. To your excellent point that if you don't visually see it, it's so easy to forget. Now the one, I do want to say there was one physical symptom that he did have, and he lost his hair.

And I love to joke that his hair was out the door anyway. So it saved me an awkward conversation because I was hanging on by a thread and I was a few months away from saying, listen, honey, it's got to go. So yeah, that was the only physical way you could tell that he had cancer as he lost his hair.

But I agree. It's so easy to get sucked in. So, oh, you just have to have that positive attitude.

You just think you can, you know, if you think you can beat it, you can beat it. And we just got sucked in. And that's, you know, there's a lot to be said for that, for that positive approach and that positive view.

And I wouldn't say to anybody, oh, don't be positive. The reality of the situation, like people, people will say, well, the cancer's gone. There's, you know, the cancer's gone.

But when you, if you actually read the scans, what the scans say is no evidence of disease, NED. And the fact that there's no evidence of disease is great, but that just means there's no evidence of it. It doesn't mean that those microscopic cancer cells aren't sitting somewhere and plotting to do something at a later point.

And so I think, you know, part of what we do here at Everyone Dies is to say, yeah, maybe you will beat it. Like my patient that, you know, started gambling and realized that that was maybe not the best idea. Maybe you will, and you're live for another 40 years, cancer, you know, without any evidence of cancer.

But even if that's the case, there's always something that's going to result in our death because we all die. And so kind of that diagnosis is for many people that that idea that I might die and what do I need to do to prepare? And that's, I think, an important piece. Did you guys do any preparation? Like, did you say, well, maybe we should just go do a will, or maybe we should do an advance directive? Did that occur? It was just like, we did it.

We dealt with it. Now we're moving on. Hard no.

We did not do any of the responsible things in 2017, despite the diagnosis. Marriage, we did that. That was semi-responsible.

Or irresponsible, depending on who you talk to. Depending on how you feel about marriage. So, and I think that that's, I think that that's good for us.

I think it's great that you're willing to acknowledge that, to say, no, you know, yeah, maybe we should have, but no. And I think the way that you and Matt kind of went through that is so normal, so normal. And I wish that there was that other little piece somewhere that people would say, you know what, this is, yeah, you know, let's go with this.

But how about if we just fill out some papers and put them in a drawer? Even if they're in a drawer, at least they're kind of done. Do you have any thoughts about that? Yeah, like, it's like the crock pot. You just set it and forget it.

You do it once, it goes away, and you don't have to deal with it for a very long time. Right. And when you do deal with it, you're like, boy, I'm so glad I put all that stuff in there, because I've got this great meal, or because my family now knows exactly what I want or what I don't want, or because that stew makes it so much easier for my family to deal with this tremendous loss.

Right? Absolutely. Yeah. Well, Claire, I really appreciate you chatting with us about this.

And I think it's helpful for people to hear that, you know, there are some things that are just perfectly normal. And I think that how you, Matt, responded to that diagnosis at the time in 2017 was perfectly normal. And I guess we'd like to say, let's change what's normal.

But, you know, we'll work on that, won't we? Agreed. I would love to help those behind me and say, hey, listen, just in case, do the documents, just in case, don't forget to update your beneficiary when you get married. Absolutely.

Well, Claire, we'll talk to you in a couple weeks. And thank you. Thank you.

Please stay tuned for the continuing saga of Everyone Dies. And thank you for listening. Like sand through an hourglass, so is a shaker of salt.

Well, technically not the shaker, but the salt itself, having been shaken. This is Charlie Navarette. And from the insight of a fan of this program, who recently attended the funeral of a friend and thought to himself, this is not goodbye.

Oh, wait a minute. Yes, it is. And I'm Marian Matzo.

And we'll see you next week. Remember, if you have a Viking burial, drink responsibly. And every day is a gift.

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