259: Embrace Your Unique Leadership Style and Inspire Your Team

Pull up a chair, friend! In this episode, we chat all about what it really means to lead in childcare. 🦆🦢 They swap stories and metaphors (think ducks vs. geese!) to explore the difference between managing and truly leading a team. With warmth and wisdom, they stress the importance of self-awareness, knowing your values, and finding your own leadership style. 

If you’ve ever wondered how to inspire your team (and not just keep the ship afloat), this episode is packed with practical tips and a few laughs along the way.

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Transcript

Marie 00:00:01  Welcome to child care conversations with Kate and Carrie.

Kate & Carrie 00:00:06  What if you stopped leading like someone else and started leading like you? I mean, I'm pretty sure nobody else leads like me, so I think we're good. So I think the podcast is over. If that's all we needed to do is get me to lead like me. We're done. We're good. Okay. I don't really think that's what we're talking about. So, what would you describe as your leadership strengths and or weak spots? Oh, okay. So I think for me, one of my definite strengths is the ability to see outside the box, to see, to come up with a new idea that other people haven't thought of before. But, I mean, that's one of your strengths, too. But how does that work with your team? So when you had four centers and you had multiple directors and a lot of staff, How did that help you? I mean, it helped me because I wasn't afraid to get second and third and fourth schools and to try things when other things weren't working.

Kate & Carrie 00:01:11  But unfortunately for me, most people aren't as excited by change as I am. And it took me a while because, I mean, I started as a director in my early 20s, and I had not yet realized that most people don't love change. What? Yeah. I mean, for you and I, this is like a banana's concept because to us, change is super exciting and wonderful. And that's why we have, I don't know how many businesses. I figure it out every year when I do my taxes, because it's how many k ones I have. but I think that people who have that leadership style, that leadership style of I will. Ready! Fire! Aim! That we have is not the most common leadership style. And it's also, you know, create some problems for our team because we're running off chasing the shiny new object, or, as we usually say, squirreling, because, you know, you saw that in up and you were like, nope, that's me for the rest of my life.

Kate & Carrie 00:02:27  I will just say squirrel every time. so I'm pretty sure that the staff that.

Kate 00:02:34  Are listening to this, that are, that have worked with us over the years are probably going, Yep.

Kate & Carrie 00:02:40  They will.

Kate 00:02:40  Squirrel. They will squirrel. So. Okay.

Kate & Carrie 00:02:43  So are we saying that everybody who listens to us and goes to our conferences and stuff, that they should all also be like us and be the ready, fire, aim? Oh, I hope not. But I do think what's really important though, because everybody hears this term leadership. Right. Like this is like, I don't want to say it's the buzzword, but it is a word that a lot of times we don't necessarily know. So as a director, listening to today's podcast carry what is important about understanding your own personal or just in general leadership identity. I think one of the important things is to understand that in order to be a leader, you have to have people following you. and I have no idea where I first heard it, so I can't give attribution.

Kate & Carrie 00:03:32  But somebody said, how can you tell a leader from a duck? And I was like, I don't know how. I mean, I thought of lots of ways that you could tell the difference. Like one has feathers, one has skin, you know, things like that. But he said, if you turn around and there's people following you, you're a leader. And if you turn around and nobody's following you, you're a duck. Because there's a reason we have that phrase get all your ducks in a row. Because even a mama duck with her baby ducks. The baby ducks are just all over the place. They do what they want to do. Yeah, I got that. And so if you're in your program and nobody is following what you are asking them to do, then you're a duck, not a leader. So how does being a duck as a leadership style, which I feel like there's a book.

Kate 00:04:23  In that somewhere, like, are you a duck? Is that your leadership style? All right.

Kate 00:04:28  So next weekend anyways, what does that mean for the rest of the team? Does that mean that there's people chasing behind them? Does that mean that they don't even have all their ducks in the same pond? What does that mean?

Kate & Carrie 00:04:44  I mean, to me, I think sometimes if you are a duck instead of a leader, you might have a couple of geese, maybe a swan, like you don't even know who is on your team?

Kate 00:04:55  An exhausted pigeon.

Kate & Carrie 00:04:57  An exhausted pigeon, maybe a loon. And they're doing their own things because they don't have anybody trying to take them in a direction. Are you. Maybe it's the. Are you a goose or are you a duck? Because, like a goose, the leader goose knows where they're going. Maybe that's the issue. You have.

Kate 00:05:18  A goose.

Kate & Carrie 00:05:19  Kind.

Kate 00:05:19  Of snippet, people. I don't know, maybe.

Kate & Carrie 00:05:22  Well, maybe. But as a leader, you sometimes do need to snippet people. You have to say, look, I get that you would like to be on your cell phone texting your significant other right now, but I'm paying you.

Kate & Carrie 00:05:35  And so no cell phones in the classroom.

Kate 00:05:38  So a duck is the one that puts her head in the water instead of their head in the sand. They just. Yeah, they got there. Put up an ear.

Kate & Carrie 00:05:45  Yeah. I mean, if if you were a leader, then people are following you. And if you Aren't sure if people are following you. Come up with a plan of something you want to do and see who wants to help you with that. And if no one wants to help you with that.

Kate 00:06:06  Oh, so they're a duck.

Kate & Carrie 00:06:09  At least in that situation.

Kate 00:06:10  So you got a duck, a duck and a.

Kate & Carrie 00:06:12  Goose, maybe.

Kate 00:06:13  And then you run really fast in a circle and then you fall down.

Kate & Carrie 00:06:17  And so I think that what you have to figure out as a leader is who what are your values? What are the values that you think are important? And once you know what your what you value in your program, then do a little bit of analysis of am I communicating that with the rest of the team?

Kate 00:06:40  Okay, so can I back this up?

Kate & Carrie 00:06:42  Beep beep beep beep.

Kate & Carrie 00:06:44  Sure.

Kate 00:06:46  Okay.

Kate & Carrie 00:06:46  So let's talk about you're a director. You might be a new director. You might be a director who's been in child care or in leadership management for a really, really long time. And we know there's a difference between being a manager and a leader. Yes. Where might be a good place for someone to start with this whole. And yes, I could say go get our book on leadership for child care directors. And we know that there are dozens of books out there. We would like to encourage you to go find books that were written by female leaders. Born to Lead by Brené Brown. you know, is just an example of go find those leadership books that resonate with you. And and there can be leadership books that resonate with you that are written by a dude. But girls and guys lead differently. Women tend to lead by consensus building and by being mission driven. That just tends to be how women are most successful in leading. Okay, so that's part of why we suggest the books written by women is because it's more likely to talk about getting people onto your team and about what are your values and things like that.

Kate & Carrie 00:08:06  Then, you know, thinking, grow rich, write that book doesn't talk about any of the things that are generally women's strengths in leadership. Well, we also know that and let's just talk about women and girls who are bold. Right? So they're they're bold and that a lot of times they come back and they're being bossy. Right. And for excellent leadership potential is what it would be if they were a dude. But if it's I got it on my I got it on my well that's awesome. But you know, I often would hear people tell me that I'm bossy, but if those same leadership styles were being done by my peers that were men, they were exhibiting exactly what you said, leadership styles. So I would like to really encourage those who are listening to stop and a be self-aware. Like, I think that is the number one leadership skill that everybody in management leadership, even if you're a teacher, you're still leading because you're still leading all those little people in your room. You're still leading a co-teacher.

Kate & Carrie 00:09:13  You're leading and and working with parents. So just being self-aware is is just an important place to start. But then carry there's all these tools and all these assessments and, you know, and there's a quiz on social media for everything. Like you could always like, I'm gonna, you know, sorting hats and you know, what color am I? And my parachute and and what letter am I or color, you know, like there's all kinds of things like that. So how does that play into, you know, identifying whether or not you're a leader, I think. Knowing as much about how your brain works and how you work in social settings is helpful, because then you can figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are with that. But again, if you're not going anywhere, you're not a leader because you have to have a destination and you have to have people following you. So if nobody is following you and you're not going anywhere, then you're just a manager. And there are directors who are managers and they are just trying to get through the day.

Kate & Carrie 00:10:27  Day in, day out, everybody came in and everybody left alive and only slightly dented. You know, like there are definitely directors that are managers, not leaders. Okay. So why would you want to be a leader as a director versus a manager? Because programs that don't change Dei. So the only way you're going to change is if you're a leader versus a manager, is that I don't know if it's the only way, but I think it's the best way because you're driving towards something as opposed to letting the shifts of the economy, the community, decide whether or not you're continuing to be here Covid, Covid, or, you know, things happening in the political realm or state budgets. Yeah, state budgets, city budgets, city changing zoning. you know, there's lots of things that major employers moving. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And if you're not driving the improvements and the changes in your program, then you're at the whims of other people. And so knowing your strengths and weaknesses is key, but so is having a direction.

Kate & Carrie 00:11:40  Okay. So some self-awareness having a direction. So if you're a director and you're not the owner, how do you how do you.

Kate 00:11:52  Lead and not step on somebody's toes?

Kate & Carrie 00:11:55  You communicate.

Kate 00:11:57  What.

Kate & Carrie 00:11:58  I mean. Basically you you know, my father in law is. Well, I guess people probably don't know. My father in law is a pilot. And so he can fly the airplane just by himself. So that's the if you are an owner director, you are a pilot who is flying that airplane all by yourself. You're flying that child care program all by yourself. But if you're going to go on a long haul, if he's flying from Texas to Washington State, he doesn't want to fly that airplane by himself. He wants somebody else in the cockpit. He wants either a navigator or a co-pilot because you're going a long distance. You need someone else to be like, hey, can you look at this for a while? I've got a, like, rest my eyes. I've got a stretch.

Kate & Carrie 00:12:43  Whatever. So almost like a road trip. You got you got the person who's driving. You got the person who shot gun, who's in charge of the music, and they got the person in the back seat that's in charge of snacks. I mean, frequently, yes. I would never, you know, the airplane is more what was in my head because you're looking at where you're going. I guess you look at where you're going when you're driving. I just can't see very far ahead of me. I've got really bad eyesight. so be a little nervous. So I think having that co-pilot. And if you're an owner director, I'm not saying that you can't have a copilot. I'm actually saying please go get one. And that co-pilot can be a coach or a consultant. If you don't want to have a director outside of yourself or you don't want to have an assistant director. Absolutely. I mean, we've done episodes on on creating your team and your advisory team, your advisory board. That isn't necessarily the people who work with you day in and day out.

Kate & Carrie 00:13:46  They may be people you've never met. We've talked about mentors, but sometimes that mentor is just somebody who you listen to on a podcast. I don't know, like maybe us and sometimes those mentors are people who wrote a book. They may not ever know who you are, but they left such an impression that it's now part of who you are as a manager. Who you are as a leader might really have shaped your vision, your mission. And as you said, your direction, which way you're going. So I just want to think a little bit about how if somebody was listening to my little rant a second ago about, are you just a manager or are you a leader? And they're feeling a little called out and they're like, yeah, I just want to make sure everybody leaves alive at the end of the day. I don't have time for figuring out what are industry Street trends. I just need to make sure that all the shifts are covered and all the kids are within ratio. How can that person who's in the management phase because their business is going through a transition, or they just stepped into this role and they were unaware of all the things.

Kate & Carrie 00:15:07  How do they move from the manager to the leader? But it also may be that their owner is the visionary and the owner is the leader, and their job is literally just to kind of keep all the ducks in a row. I mean, I think that especially when you start thinking about leadership styles and how they impact a team, understanding that you may be a manager and that might be perfect for your program, because if you think about the really, really large, either large nonprofits or, Are, government funded kind of non-profit child care programs. They don't get a lot of say in where they're going. They're kind of told this is what you're going to do. And so being a great manager and having staff who love you and parents who love you is still really, really important. But if you are privately owned or even a nonprofit that doesn't have a wealthy benefactor or some sort of organization that's always giving you money and you have to go out and find your people. I think that it's really important to remember that sometimes we need both.

Kate & Carrie 00:16:21  Yeah. I think, and as you were doing hand gestures with the, you know, keeping the ducks in line, I was like, this reminds me of Babe the Pig. You know, like, scooping from behind or, a shepherd dog or something like that. I was just thinking to myself, like. So everybody needs a collie. So Kate had one of those dogs, so she thinks everybody needs one. but I think there is a need for both the manager and the leader. And I think trying to do both at the same time is where people get into trouble. Okay, so if you are feeling overwhelmed and you've been listening to this episode and you might still not totally have it, I'm going to try to summarise it, Carrie, as we kind of wrap up and you tell me if I'm kind of maybe at a starting point for somebody. I want you to sit down and think about, you know, who's all part of that leadership team and leadership, I mean, by the people in charge.

Kate & Carrie 00:17:21  So the owner, director, assistant director, even you lead. Teachers. Lead teachers. Who is leading? Who is managing? What is your role and how do you all work together? Because that's part of that. Self-awareness is not only what do I know about myself? What do I like? Because if you like just being the duck and being the visionary and leading and deciding where you're going, and you know, you've got a strong team behind you and that there's somebody back there who's going to make sure he's going to shepherd all your little ducks and get you where you're going. This might be perfect. This might work really, really well in your business, but if you've got some hiccups anywhere, it could be enrollment. It could be in staffing, it could be in parent relations. Maybe that's where there's a need for some reflection on am I leading or am I a duck? I think I think that makes a lot of sense. And so now we've got are you a duck? Are you a collie or are you a leader? So I don't know that that is a book.

Kate & Carrie 00:18:29  I think that's I think that's going to be complicated to make that into a book. I think that was leadership by duck, duck, goose. That's what that's what the you know and you know, if you want to be a collie, that's great. I think if you have the title of director and you just want to be a duck, we have a problem. I think that as a director, you either have to be that collie or you have to be the goose. You've got to be the leader, or you've got to be the manager. I don't think you can be a duck. All right, well, thank you so much. So if you've been listening to this episode, we would love to have you reach out and touch base with us. Let us know what you liked about the episode. I want you to know that if you aren't sure which one you are and you want some coaching about guiding your program, or because you found out listening to this that you're a duck, and now you have to decide if you should be a goose or a collie, then let us know.

Kate & Carrie 00:19:28  we'd be happy to help you, to coach you through that transition, that metamorphosis into being the best director you can be for the program you're in right now. Because you may be. You may have been a caterpillar, but we're going to make you a butterfly. We got too many animals, too many animals, too many animals. Anyway, if you liked this episode, or if you want us to never go down this animal rabbit hole again, please let us know you landed another one, so let us know! You can email us at Kate and Carrie at Child Care Conversations, or you can go to the pod mail option on your podcast Player of Choice. And if you learn something, share the show with somebody else who needs to know.

Marie 00:20:19  Thank you for listening to Child Care Conversations with Kate and Carrie. Want to learn more? Check out our website at Texas Director Dot. And if you've learned anything today, leave us a comment below and share the show.