A D&D Story
We are a Podcast playing DND 5E. A homebrew campaign filled with adventures, misadventures, love and punishing the stupid. A brand new Dungeon Master builds a world for far more experienced players as they navigate through the various dangers. Recommended for ages 18 and up.
A D&D Story
Episode 76: Adventurers Assemble for a Warehouse Heist
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What if you could outmaneuver a manticore with a well-timed distraction, or plan a heist using no more than a rogue's stealth and a bard's song? Join us for an exciting foray into the fantastical world of Dungeons & Dragons, where our eclectic party of adventurers—led by Glenn the half-elf rogue, Nines the high elf monk, and the ever-resourceful Monty—navigate through a myriad of challenges. From a playful debate about character prowess to crafting an elaborate infiltration plan for Mr. Dory's enigmatic warehouse, this episode promises a blend of laughter, suspense, and camaraderie.
Join our merry band as we contemplate the art of disguise and the perks of musical diversions. Witness the team's tactical discussions, where ideas like Monty's 'Pass Without Trace' spellcast come to life, and Glenn's stealth skills prove invaluable. The stakes rise as they encounter mythical beasts and flesh golems, with the warehouse's mysteries unraveling amidst humorous exchanges and creative problem-solving. Whether it's Nines' amusing antics or Monty's frantic attempts at deception, this episode is a testament to the unpredictability and joy of storytelling in a fantasy setting.
As the dust settles after a climactic showdown, we find ourselves in the aftermath of Mr. Dory's peculiar domain. Our characters sift through the remnants of battle, uncovering curious artifacts that may hold the key to future quests. Reflecting on the day's adventures, we express heartfelt gratitude to our listeners and invite them to continue supporting our journey. With promises of more exciting escapades and community interactions, we sign off, eager to embark on the next chapter of our shared D&D adventures.
Thank you With your wrist. People close.
Speaker 3Peasant close, that's going to be it. Just Bill saying peasant close, that's our intro for this episode. Peasant close. How's everybody feeling tonight? Ready for some D&Ds? I love both of those things D&Ds, peasants and D&Ds Because they're cheap. You can hire them. I like peas and Ds All at the Home Depot.
Speaker 5Peas and Ds and Ds.
Speaker 3Sometimes DPs, all the Home Depot D's and D's and D's. Sometimes DPs, all the DPs. Welcome to a DP story.
Speaker 7Hey-o DP or DAP.
Speaker 3I'm your host, dommy Daddy, what?
Speaker 5the fuck I'm on the wrong podcast. No, no, no.
Speaker 3You're right where you belong. Now put these handcuffs on and shut up. Yeah, yeah, Shut're right where you belong. Now put these handcuffs on and shut up. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2Shut up, don't worry.
Speaker 7When we put this in your mouth, you will shut up.
Speaker 5Don't mute me, dommy Daddy, all right.
Speaker 3Welcome to a D&D story. I am Brandon, the Irish Wookiee, and with me today is Bill.
Speaker 7Hello, I'm Bill. I play Glenn, the half-elf rogue swashbuckler.
Speaker 3And Brandon Got him.
Speaker 5Hi everybody. I'm Brandon. I was just taking a drink. That's why it took me so long to respond. It's not because I'm stupid, I was just taking a drink. That's why it took me so long to respond. It's not because I'm stupid, I was just panicking. I play Nines, the high elf monk, who is clearly the best character.
Speaker 3I really want you, I really want Nines and Glenn to just sit down at a table and just argue with who's the best at some point and Best at what. Everything, hmm, everything, hmm. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 5Glenn is the best there it is he's the main character nines is gonna be the pigeon on the chessboard.
Speaker 7Glenn is the only character that has been in every episode.
Speaker 2Not true. Mors hasn't been in every episode.
Speaker 7No, Mors has not been. Sam was in a couple of episodes without Mors. Remember the?
Speaker 5Nines background episode oh Bean.
Speaker 7Sprout, oh Bean Sprout. Bean Sprout's the main character.
Speaker 6Bean Sprout's the main character he also has come back from the dead so many times Just saying True. He's got Dragon Ball Z lore backing him up, justin. Oh wait, that's me. Hi everybody, I'm Justin. Oh wait, hi Brandon.
Speaker 2Oh fuck, After 76 episodes, you couldn't have got it right.
Speaker 6Look, maybe if we practiced more often. Anywho, hi Justin, hi Matty, how's it going? I play sometimes Mors, not today, and today I'm playing Sam, who is a female half-elk. Nope, wow, half-elk, half-orc, barbarian.
Speaker 5Arguably half-elk though.
Speaker 2I mean half-elk, half-orc, who can say it's like it's an orc minotaur, I mean just by statistically speaking, though, moors is probably more half elk than uh sam, so goddamn and finally, maddie. Hi everybody, I'm maddie. I play Montoya Inigo the Arctic Tabaxi Ranger.
Speaker 3So I want to say thank you everybody for following us, liking us, giving us ideas. It means a lot to us. We have had some awesome, awesome stats in the last couple episodes. I want to say a special thank you to Dublin. We've noticed that you've been really stepping up and listening to us the last couple episodes. You are our most listened to city in our last three episodes. So thank you, let us know if you want us out there.
Speaker 5Is that because you're the Irish Wookiee?
Speaker 3I think so yeah, the Irish Wookiee. I mean, I attract them. Yeah, yeah, perfect.
Speaker 4Yeah, actually, irish.
Speaker 3Wookiee. I mean I attract them. Yeah, yeah, perfect, yeah, actually I didn't put that together until you said it, but I do want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to us. We really appreciate everybody from all these different countries listening to us. It really does mean a lot to us. We started this as just a place for us all to get together during COVID, and for us all to get together during COVID and for us to be in all these different countries and people listening to us religiously. I really appreciate it, thank you. But now we want to come to a city near you.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 6Strictly speaking, we started before COVID in America.
Speaker 7That's true. So we're a religion. Now we are, yeah, you heard it. We're a religion check.
Speaker 6We are. You heard it. You're a religion. Check, read the gospel. Now you can play Glen.
Speaker 3IRL, so make sure you give us a like and a follow on Facebook at facebookcom slash ADNDstory. Follow us on Twitter or X at ADDstory2. Check us out on Instagram at instagramcom slash ADNDstory. And finally check us out on Instagram at Instagramcom slash ADNDstory. And finally check us out on Patreon at Patreoncom slash ADNDstory. Justin is the DM over there. He's going to put out a new episode. I believe in him, so, yeah, go check us out.
Speaker 5You were going to say that they can sponsor us to come and visit their town.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, If somebody wants us to come, absolutely Message me. We'll figure out a way out there. We'll put out a.
Speaker 5We do travel internationally.
Speaker 3We do travel internationally, absolutely.
Speaker 5I will say we ship domestic or international.
Speaker 7So generally I'm not for a live episode, but if you fly us out to your town, I will commit to doing a live episode in your town.
Speaker 5Are we going to bring equipment with us, or are we just going to be sitting there with our phones?
Speaker 3up to our face. We'll just have a big-ass jobber between us all.
Speaker 7Yeah.
Speaker 3And we'll do it in nude.
Speaker 4Yeah. You know what Matty?
Speaker 3I will commit to that. That's the stretch goal.
Speaker 5Can we do it in a sauna? Ooh. I want to go to Norway and do it in a sauna.
Speaker 7Let's do the entire thing in a sauna. Are we still talking about the podcast?
Speaker 5No, not anymore. We're just doing it Whatever you feel like when the mood strikes. You know what you do. It All right?
Speaker 3So one last thing before we get into it. I want to send a special congratulations over towards Matty. He just had a new baby boy last week, yay.
Speaker 2Yay, Maddie, Thanks everyone.
Speaker 3Congratulations. Hey, even applause. I love it, let's get into it. Everybody but Bill roll for some recap. Oh my god not please roll high.
Speaker 2Please roll high you guys, you guys are all wasting your good boys all right my religion oh, no it was pretty bad, just for the record I rolled a four.
Speaker 5Is that good? Um no no, all right four. You rolled a four for not doing the check or not doing the recap right, that's correct, but people beat you.
Speaker 4What, what.
Speaker 3All right. So, Brandon, if you wouldn't mind giving us a recap of the episode we did two months ago.
Speaker 5Okay, a lot of things happened. It's been pretty crazy. There were murders that we were investigating and we were talking to guards and whatnot and figuring out like the best way to figure out W the TF is going on and the guard who was telling this about is Guard Frank Constable Jute.
Speaker 7Damn it. Guard Frank gave us directions to Constable Jute Yep.
Speaker 5There we go, constable Jute, damn it Guard. Frank gave us directions to Constable Jute. Yep, correct, there we go, constable Jute. And then we met up after her walking her beat. Wait, is it a dude? That is true, it was a chick, right.
Speaker 5Jute's a lady Jute's a lady, there we go. Yeah, you, she a bunch, so that makes sense. We find out that the second murder was brushed under the rug by her superiors and Counselor Dory being kind of the main one, who is our person of interest. Do you remember why? She said that he was very private, having very private meetings with the commanders, and he wears a lot of perfume. Nobody likes him and it's super humid in his warehouse. Okay, anything else. All of those things are suspicious enough. I'd arrest him for murder, like in real life.
Speaker 2Nah, we don't arrest people, we just go kill them.
Speaker 5Yeah. Extra judicial let's go.
Speaker 3This party's like a murder hobo light. Do you remember anything else about the last episode, brandon? You're missing a couple key points.
Speaker 5Hang on, I'm still catching up on the notes that I've got. Okay, commander Noah is a name, a perfumer named Loquid and then a female gnome named Grotten Longflint, all of whom are business associates of Dory. Who is the counselor?
Speaker 7right Counselor Dory, correct yep, mr Dory, is what he goes by, right. Yep, he's part of the council that rooms the Styes.
Speaker 5And really it's around this point that the notes start to go off the rails a little bit. We can either go to Jarmy's scene or murder scene. Number two is what I wrote down. The scene is still muddy and bloody, rats scuttling. I misspelled bloody, by the way, footprints everywhere. There was a murder. You can see where most of the blood was, where the body was, mark's still indicating where it laid. The murder happened two days ago. Victim was stabbed to death. There were rolls, an 11 from Glenn Investigation check. There was a blood trail leading down the alley away from the direction that we came in, and I think we also determined that alleys generally have an entrance and an exit.
Speaker 3That is also true. We did have a 10-minute conversation about alleys. It was important.
Speaker 7And I still don't agree with them both.
Speaker 3It has to have an entrance. It does not have to have.
Speaker 5I think you can call it a dead end alley If it's a special sort of alley?
Speaker 7Yeah, because you have a blind alley right. How else could you? How are you going to? Get out.
Speaker 4I'm never going to start playing Fox Canyon.
Speaker 5And then Eggs that can be your way in. And then, uh, I, uh, no, glenn um disguised himself, he pressed the digitated and uh, used his disguise abilities and, uh, he like passed the smell test and, speaking of smell tests, there was a vial that, like, passed the smell test and, speaking of smell tests, there was a vial that I wrote down that I sniffed it. No, you drank that shit. You were telling me that I drank it, but I wrote down that I sniffed it. I wrote down that.
Speaker 4I sniffed it. Now I have disadvantage I have that also One second oh wrote down that I sniffed it Now. I have disadvantage. I have that also. One second.
Speaker 3Oh no, you did sniff it. Yeah, you did sniff it, but yeah, you have disadvantage on ability checks until your next long rest, okay.
Speaker 5And so, but like, for some reason my notes are super spotty and that like, maybe my internet connection was bad.
Speaker 3Yeah, that's it, and that like maybe my internet connection was bad.
Speaker 5Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3Or like the no, that's not it.
Speaker 5Sorry, say that again, I didn't, there wasn't. You mentioned the planets and their alignment.
Speaker 3So you asked about the temperature.
Speaker 5I did not. That's my recap.
Speaker 3Okay, does anybody want to help Brandon out a little bit so?
Speaker 7Commander Noah is one of the commanders that Mr Dory is having private meetings with. I don't have the second one. And we went to the second murder site, like you said. Blood, refuse, debris everywhere, rats contaminated the scene, blood trailed down the alley.
Speaker 7Skirm tracks were found, scum scum and then skoom and then, uh, I don't, and then my notes stop. But I do know that I went in, did the prestidigitation disguise and snuck in and acted like a worker and investigated and we found that stuff that he was talking about, that he sniffed in the and I don't remember what else.
Speaker 5Apparently he was ill-advised. Sniffing yes Was ill-advised.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 3Justin, you have anything to add.
Speaker 6One of the things we learn when talking with Jute I think it's important at least is that when she was talking to the dude who was put to death, Jarmy, that guy it seemed like he might have been under some kind of mind control, Like he was confused and kind of out of sorts, Like he didn't know how he was there, why he was there yes, when she confronted him, he came in very willingly which she said was a first for her, um, because he had very clearly just murdered this person and then was like, oh okay, it's jail time, got it yeah um, I have a little bit more details about the scoom.
Speaker 6If you want to talk about that, I don't know that it super matters right now it looks like.
Speaker 3Can you give a brief description of what a scoom is?
Speaker 5yeah, why is everyone scooming all over the?
Speaker 6place. A scoom is a snake like creature that also has a human form. They're created by an aboleth to fulfill a role as a soldier. They have webbed fingers. They have eyes that are meant for dark places. They have they're both. They're able in both close and long distance range combat. They're created by converting other beings into them, and I wrote down more stuff that I missed, so I didn't get it all, but that's a pretty good chunk. Yeah, that's a pretty good chunk.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah. Basically, scooms are given special powers by a deity which transforms their body. They typically enjoy moist atmospheres or humid atmospheres and they smell very bad, like fish or some kind of deep sea creature we also saw.
Speaker 6Well, we saw, uh, while glenn was exploring without us, he found a frog-like creature called a red slad, and he was able to describe for us some creatures that were flying between levels and when he was ascribing to us, we collectively were able to describe for us some creatures that were flying between levels and when he was ascribing to us, we collectively were able to identify those creatures as manticores, correct. I think that's all the important stuff that I had.
Speaker 6Yep that is good, all right, I had. I took notes on what we were going to try to do this episode, just to keep us collective players in check. We were talking about either going in now or try to regroup. Uh, beat up with, shoot, rest and discuss our plans. Our concerns were manticores, the red slad, the stinky vials and whatever. These cloaked concerns were manticores, the red slad, the stinky vials and whatever these cloaked figures were, which I don't think I have any other notes on them. Maybe those are the manticores or slads. I don't know Something about cloaked figures, meh.
Speaker 3So you guys are. I can't tell you anything else, unless anybody else wants to add. That is what your characters have figured out.
Infiltrating Mr. Dory's Warehouse
Speaker 5Yeah, counselor Dory's warehouses were noted as being particularly humid. And so that's definitely a potential avenue of approach vis-a-vis the scooms it's a it's a very scoomy thing to do I mean if it looks like scoom and it smells like scoom and then it tastes like it's probably a duck. Fucking Freud almost got me, bro, yeah.
Speaker 3And this, right here, is why we rated M for mature. Yep. All right, so let's jump into it. So you guys are all currently sitting outside of Dory's Warehouse, which is a large building that is attached to a ship with a connecting like an old ship, that is, with a connecting bridge between them. It looks like it used to be some kind of ship dock, but the water has receded since then and now the there is a large ship that is used as a residence of some sort by mr dory glenn has recently come out and given you a full description of the warehouse, including any baddies that he saw within and workers. It is still it. It is slightly past midday and there are still a plethora of workers going in and out of the building. What would you all like to do? Oh, go ahead.
Speaker 7You said there's a ship that's connected to the warehouse.
Speaker 3That's correct. It's raised up in the air and there is a it looks like a poorly constructed bridge and there is a it looks like a a poorly constructed bridge that is put between the ship and the building itself.
Speaker 5Kind of a makeshift, it's all on stilts sort of thing. That's correct.
Speaker 7Is there any way to get to the ship without going through the warehouse?
Speaker 3No, it is on the second floor. It is connected to the second floor of the warehouse Approximately 45 feet in the air.
Speaker 7What if Glenn snuck over there and dropped a rope down and then let everybody climb?
Speaker 3You could try it.
Speaker 7Because we do so well at climbing yeah this group is very good at climbing.
Speaker 6Sam could do it.
Speaker 5I mean, I think Nines could probably do it.
Speaker 3Monty's fucked.
Speaker 2I'm the ranger and a cat, no wait.
Speaker 5Sam carry the cat Okay.
Speaker 3So, for the party's sake, you currently have a couple avenues. You can go go down, you can either uh just to. I know it's been a couple months, so I'm just keep laying out a couple things for you all. You can either uh approach the warehouse during the day and try to talk your way into seeing mr dory. You can wait until nightfall and go in and sneak your way into Mr Jory's office. You can go and see the perfumer. Or you can try to regroup and do something completely different.
Speaker 2We'd like to choose option F.
Speaker 4Yes, I figured, which is even different than doing something different.
Speaker 5Yeah absolutely and is for no reason at all, just not option.
Speaker 7E for some reason.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 7So I think we should go back to Meat Hollow.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 3It's an open world man. You do what you want. Hmm.
Speaker 7So we want to investigate Dory because we think he or she I don't know- it's a he. We want to. It's Mr Dory. I guess that doesn't mean that it's Anyway 2024.
Speaker 7It is so we want to investigate Mr Dory because we think he's heavily involved in the murder and probably involved in shutting down the investigation. Okay, and so I would say I don't really want to wait until nighttime. So what do we know about Dory? Is he active in the day? Is he active in the night, like, does he go to the council chambers or anything like that? Do we know any of that?
Speaker 3uh, there is no set schedule for mr dory. Uh, you know he is an active part of the high council for the sties which makes ruling decisions over this area. Um, but they don't have. To your knowledge, they don't have any uh meetings scheduled. Um, you know that mr dory himself likes to visit a perfumer. He likes to uh he, he has private meetings with some of the council uh commanders and he is a private person in general. He has been described as always having his cloak up, he always smells of a lot of perfume and that his warehouse is humid at all times.
Speaker 2So he's a skul or a sled? Yeah, you mean a skoom.
Speaker 3Skoom.
Speaker 7Yeah, you're right, he's a skoom.
Speaker 5He's a skoomer, knew it. What a skoomer.
Speaker 3He's a skoomer, knew it.
Speaker 2What a skoomer. And it's daytime currently.
Speaker 3It is. It's just past midday, so 3pm-ish.
Speaker 2Well, based upon what we know of this Dory character, I'm not so sure he will just welcome us for an open invitation. We might have to sneak our way in or perhaps catch him someplace he would not expect us to be.
Speaker 7I'm pretty sure that he would welcome me. Why wouldn't I mean? Everybody likes me?
Speaker 2That is very true, but he does not know you, and so therefore he does not know how much he likes you quite yet.
Speaker 4Oh, okay.
Speaker 7Okay, so we could go see his friend the perfumer or the quote-unquote adventurer, whatever her name was.
Speaker 2Would you think our chances are sneaking into his office unseen?
Speaker 7I'm pretty sure that I could sneak in. I don't think. Okay, so, Brandon, I'm going to use my general. I don't think I could sneak the group. I don't think the group could sneak in. Is that accurate? That's a good question.
Speaker 3Let me see I might be able to sneak. I don't think the group can sneak in. Is that accurate? That's a good question. Let me see.
Speaker 2I might be able to sneak. I'm trying to see what my invisibility works.
Speaker 3Well, Maddie, your ranger, you have passed without trace.
Speaker 5Pass without trace. I was going to say like I can.
Speaker 4That's what's on the list, yeah.
Speaker 2That's true, does that? I think, it gives everybody like a plus ten on it.
Speaker 3It gives a plus ten on stealth checks.
Speaker 5Yeah, I think it is just a straight plus ten to all stealth for like an hour.
Speaker 4Yeah, it's an hour or until concentration is broken.
Speaker 5Nines will mention to everyone. Authority figures have always told me they want to keep me nearby to keep an eye on me. So I bet Counselor Dory would like to see me.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 2With a little bit of finesse, I feel like we can get in.
Speaker 7I'm pretty sure that I can talk to Counselor Dory and he'd want to talk to me. I don't think it would take me very long to convince him that he wants to talk to me.
Speaker 2So you just want to go in by yourself, or shall we all try to go along?
Speaker 7No, I think we should all sneak in Because, while I'm pretty sure I can convince Dory that we're all friends and we can get some out what's going on and find out what his you know, why he thinks or, sorry, figure out why people think that he is um messing up the investigation, I'm sure once we all get in there we can convince him of you know coming on and becoming honest with us the error of his ways yeah, I don't think it would be a good idea to try to just walk through.
Speaker 7I think I would have some problems convincing the manticores that I'm friends with them. But I'm pretty sure I can convince Mr Dory.
Speaker 2So let's sneak our way to Dory's office and we'll go from there.
Speaker 5Actually, Master the Lion told me a very effective way to get past manticores.
Speaker 2And that is.
Speaker 5I'll buy it. Oh, you just kind of you kneel down, make yourself a little small right, and then you just kind of hold out a hand and just make this kind of like a piss a hand and just make this kind of like a piss, piss, piss, noise. Um, yeah, it uh.
Speaker 7We'll use that as option B.
Speaker 5Telling it three times out of four works pretty good.
Speaker 2If the sneaking thing doesn't work, why don't you tease, tease, tease the Manticores and we'll run away.
Speaker 6I hope that affects Monty and not the manticores.
Speaker 2Monty's drawn towards nines intriguingly he loses concentration.
Speaker 5He can only totally charm, he's gonna throw he's gonna make a saving throw every time he hears piss, piss, piss.
Speaker 3You guys should not have given me that idea.
Speaker 2We're sneaking in. Monty sees a light. Oh, what's that, monty?
Speaker 3with his concentration All right. So what is the party's decision?
Speaker 7Yep, we're going in Sam.
Speaker 4Me.
Speaker 6I don't know that I'm really equipped to make any kind of decisions here.
Speaker 2This is one of those adventures we have talked about.
Speaker 6Would you like to go? Well, of course I'm here. I mean what's the worst that could go wrong? Mean what's?
Speaker 2the worst thing that could go wrong.
Speaker 7Yeah, what's the worst thing that could go wrong? I guess I sure will find out.
Speaker 6Well, could we all, could we disguise ourselves all as workers and get in there?
Speaker 5Nines tucks his pointy ears into, like the ends of his ears into his ears and says hey look, I'm a human.
Speaker 7I'll just put it on my credit card so are there elf workers, or is it all humans?
Speaker 3These are all human workers.
Speaker 5Didn't you say there were other dwarf and races around?
Speaker 3There are dwarf and human workers for this warehouse. Elves are not typically welcomed in the Styes.
Speaker 5Yeah, and so we were being side-eyed the entire time.
Speaker 7Just being around. Well, we were also dressed better than everybody else Also true, oh yeah, it's a poor part of town.
Speaker 5Yeah, and that's why, glenn was playing with his knife.
Speaker 2Truth be known, I'm pretty good at impersonating a dwarf. If you guys could pull off the human thing.
Speaker 7I can pull off anything that's true, monty. Good, sorry I was just gonna say, I mean, glenn could easily disguise himself as almost anybody let's.
Speaker 2Maybe we tried the disguises first and then. Then you know I filled us fails. We'll go for the sneaky sneak.
Speaker 7Um, in case you didn't know this if you walk in and everybody sees you, it's kind of hard to hide then yeah, we leave, and then we come back and hide. Okay, not saying that I've snuck in or I've disguised myself and gotten caught or anything like that. But generally it's hard to get away once they've discovered if I so if we were for our listeners out there.
Speaker 3The image of my head is a cat and two half-elves are having the conversation about disguising themselves, while Sam, a six and a half foot tall half-orc, is sitting in the back just like I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2I just forgot, sam was an orc Just thinking of half-elf, maybe the disguise is the mess.
Speaker 6You think I'd make a good dwarf?
Speaker 2Yes, I could disguise. I could disguise Sam as a dwarf, and then I could sneak in myself and just follow along behind you guys.
Speaker 7Why don't we just sneak in?
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 5We just Honestly, recently people seem to have difficulty punching me in the face. I think I'm just a little bit more tranquil than I used to be. Glenn punches him in the face. You have to make a little saving throw first.
Speaker 4I have the Sanctuary spell.
Speaker 5Yeah so I have Tranquility which, after a long rest, gives me the effect of the Sanctuary Spell, meaning that in order to attack me, you have to overcome your natural inclination, ie a Wisdom saving throw, so does a 20 save Jesus.
Speaker 3Are you actually punching him in the face? Because 5e is not good for player on player combat, but we'll do it one of us will do it.
Speaker 6Yeah, because nines is a pacifist this was glenn just not good at it he's trying his best.
Speaker 2He falls off the horse, he gets back on it's a daily struggle. Sorry, Dicey. Shall we sneak.
Speaker 7Shall we get our sneak on.
Speaker 2Yes, okay, then Monty is going to cast Pass Without Trace. Okay, dang it. I don't have any second level spell slot guys. Sorry, we can't use it. I'm just kidding, take a nap, it. Okay, dang it. I don't have any second level spell slot guys. Sorry, we can't use it.
Speaker 7I'm just kidding, take a nap.
Speaker 2It's active for one hour.
Speaker 7Alright, so okay so we can always come back in the evening. But yeah, Nevermind, it's already done.
Speaker 3Monty, what does it look like when you cast Pass Without Trace? I forget honestly.
Speaker 2Kuss, kuss, kuss, kuss, kuss, Kuss, kuss, kuss, kuss, kuss. Monty will just kind of rub his hands together and will form this black orb that then he lets it go and it hits the ground and creates a black kind of foggish circle within 30 feet, centered around him. And as he moves, ironically, this shadow just kind of follows on the ground around him for 30 feet around centered around him. And as he moves, ironically this shadow just kind of follows on the ground around him for 30 feet diameter exactly so.
Speaker 3You, you, it's not. It's not 30 feet around you. You get 30 foot creatures. You get to choose creatures within 30 feet of you oh, and then? They have the effect of it so I will.
Speaker 2when I cast that orb and then drop it on the ground, you'll see it go to each one of the party members and will kind of linger around their feet, Preventing them from being leaving tracks. And everybody gets a plus 10 bonus to dexterity. Stealth checks, All right, and we can't be tracked except by magical means.
Speaker 7So Glenn goes into stealth. Like you see him kind of cower down and kind of pull his cloak around him and you'll see his normally bright and shiny cloak just turn matte black and he becomes even more difficult to see. Yeah, with a plus 10, there is nobody that's going to ever see Glenn.
Speaker 3God, I hope you're rolling that one.
Speaker 7I can't. I know you can.
Speaker 3All right, so yeah, so before you all, the warehouse is a pretty large, imposing structure. You see weathered stone, reinforced wooden beams. It's roughly a rectangular shape. It's got high, thick walls and it shows signs of age, use and just the ocean wear on the side of it. Right directly in front of you, there are large, heavy wooden doors that serve as the main entrance and you see people walking in and out of there, mostly humans. There are some doors sprinkled in and out of that, directly on each side of the door, are two guards.
Speaker 3The guard on the left is a relatively burly middle-aged man. He's got a weathered face and he looks seriously at each person that walks past him. He's got a leather cuirass over his simple tunic and he's got large, sturdy boots and a helmet on. He's got a short sword on his left side and a bow on his back and he carries a shield in his right hand that he's holding at all times. The guard on the right is a younger individual. He's got leaner features leaner but sharp features and his eyes are darting back and forth towards the older guard and the personnel that are walking before him. He's got a crossbow slung over his shoulder with quiver bolts at his hip and you can see multiple daggers on his right side. He's not as relaxed as the guard on the left, but he's very alert. He's glancing down at the street and the alleys, but his face makes him seem like he's more approachable than the guard on the left.
Speaker 2Do you see a way to like just bypass these two guards altogether?
Speaker 3You have to walk past them to go into the main entrance. There is an entrance on the second floor. If you can find a way to climb it, it's on a small deck on the second floor that overlooks the main entrance.
Speaker 2If we try to climb to that and fail, would you think it'd alert these guards? Proximity of the entrance to the guards.
Speaker 3If you were to fall while trying to climb, there would definitely be sound made and I would likely make you roll stealth at a disadvantage.
Speaker 7So before we actually approach, glenn will say I can go in and drop a rope down from that second story to give you help climbing up. I have a knotted rope that will make it easier for you to climb up.
Speaker 3So, to be clear, this deck is directly overhead of the main entrance, so the rope would be hanging between the two guards.
Speaker 7Oh, so that probably wouldn't work.
Speaker 6Yeah, Can we see any like windows or other kind of ventilation in this big-ass warehouse, in this humid part of the docks?
Speaker 3There are multiple windows on the second floor. There seems to be a lack of windows on the first floor, which is a typical construct of this area based on the poorer neighborhood. The ship itself is hanging over a deeper trench, which seemed to have housed some water at some point in its life, so it's probably 60 feet in the air at this point.
Speaker 2Let me guess you got 50 feet of rope.
Speaker 7Say that again. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2You have 50 feet of rope. Is that right?
Speaker 6Ship 60 feet in the air. I also have 50 feet of rope, yeah hold on?
Speaker 7I don't know how long my rope is. 60 feet in the air. I also have 50 feet of rope. Yeah, hold on. I don't know how long my rope is, probably 50 feet.
Speaker 5That's usually what it is, I don't know.
Speaker 4Everybody knows how big their rope is yeah, it's just 50 feet.
Speaker 2Do you want to try to make your way all the way to the ship, and then we'll just climb up there, or perhaps one of those windows on the second floor?
Speaker 7Yeah, we could do that. I mean, the windows would probably be the better bet.
Speaker 2Yes, I think.
Speaker 7Or less than 50 feet up.
Speaker 2That might be better than us all trying to sneak past these two guards without another way to get through.
Speaker 7I mean Glenn is very confident in his, especially with the pass without trace. He's very confident in his ability to get by. He's probably. His confidence level is probably to the point where he thinks he can probably sneak right in front of them and they won't notice. I mean, the lowest he can get is a 29. And he has advantage.
Speaker 5Yeah, but that doesn't negate like you can't just walk through the middle of two people, but he can also do stuff like he carries ball bearings and stuff like that to use for distractions and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2So there's more to it than just I just don't think there's a way we can distract the two of them to get the whole group past them, but distract them enough to get one person by is doable, and then we all climb up.
Speaker 6We could make a distraction to pull them away.
Speaker 7Sam says we could make a distraction to pull them away. Sam says yes, and then the because we also. There's many different ways. You would, I don't. I don't know, Sam, if we would be able to. I think, if you were part of the distraction, that it would cause so much of a distraction. I don't think you'd be able to get away. So maybe put on your dwarf disguise and make, give somebody the dwarf disguise and make a thing in it, because none of us are races that are here so, but a dwarf is, so it might get away unnoticed. So use your dwarf disguise, make a loud noise to distract them so I could sneak by a loud noise to distract them, so I can sneak by and then run around the corner, drop your door to Skye's and then you hide, and then I will drop a rope down from one of the windows. Whichever, I'll point at one of the windows I'm the only one that probably knows the inside layout and I would point at one that I know that I can get to.
Speaker 6I think that would just fine.
Speaker 2Sam, do you want me to go and be the distraction, or is that something you'd like to take on? I'm looking at a plus eight to my stealth checks. What's Sam got Plus one? I should probably be the one doing the distraction then.
Speaker 6I'm pretty quick. I think I could maybe knock one over and pick a fight with them and then lose them and then circle around and get back to you.
Speaker 2That's not a bad idea as well. If you'd like to try, I'm more than willing to let you. I will stay close by in case you know what it's the fan.
Speaker 6I'm just tossing out options. I haven't done this kind of thing before.
Speaker 7I would say Glenn says he thinks that it might be best if Monty puts on his dwarf disguise and then he turns around.
Speaker 2That runs around the corner, and then he can drop his dwarf disguise as well as go into stealth and hide in the shadow, and you'll pretty much disappear it might be better for me to distract them as a tabaxi and then put on the dwarf disguise to get away and blend into the crowd if needed. Okay, I like that idea. Let's go that route. I'll be the one to make the distraction and, if I need, I'll use the hidden dwarf band to blend into the crowds and get away.
Speaker 6I bet this would be really easy with just a little bit of magic.
Warehouse Infiltration Plan Discussion
Speaker 2Yes, I do believe the hidden dwarf band. He holds out this like handkerchief thing. This has a little bit of magic on it.
Speaker 6I'm not sure how it works.
Speaker 2It's got to be magic.
Speaker 7I forgot about that headband.
Speaker 6That's pretty sweet.
Speaker 2I've had it for a long time.
Speaker 3First time you've used it Wow.
Speaker 2I used it in a time travel thing, Alright so that's what we're going to do. What are we going to do? Monty's going to make a distraction and draw them away from the entrance, letting Glenn get through, um, and honestly, everybody can probably get through at that point. And then I'll circle around to uh the window and climb up.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 4Sounds like a good plan, we'll see how the dice stay.
Speaker 2I'm going to pretend to be a human. You're just going to be stealthy, yeah you're just going to hide.
Speaker 7Yeah.
Speaker 2Just lurk around corners 11.
Speaker 7Plus 11 to stealth, so I'm hiding and waiting for a rope from a window, are they?
Speaker 6going to go with you? I think we should, are we?
Speaker 2waiting for them rope from a window. Are they going to go with you?
Speaker 5I think we should. Are we waiting or are we all going in?
Speaker 7I think you guys should wait and I drop the rope down and you're hiding underneath where the window is.
Speaker 2Okay, that way they're also there to help me. That's the entrance though right.
Speaker 7No, there's a deck.
Speaker 5Oh, we're doing a window. You said that right, no, no, no, there's a deck. Oh, we're doing a window.
Speaker 7You said that right, there's second-story windows, brandon.
Speaker 3There are second-story windows.
Speaker 2Okay, so Monty will say, if I draw them over here, pointing to the far left, further down the edge of the warehouse, towards an alley, an alley with entrances, two entrances or one entrance and an exit. He's like I will draw them over that way as soon as they leave the exit. Glenn, you sneak around and everybody else hide and we'll meet Glenn. What window should we regroup underneath?
Speaker 7He points at one, that one, that's one, the one that there's a way for me to get to it. Glenn points at one, that one that's one, the one that there's a way to get to it.
Speaker 3Glenn points to the window, the window, second windows to the left of the deck, as you're staring at the building.
Speaker 7Is it on the front side?
Speaker 3It is on the front side. How far away from the side. There's no windows on the side. Okay, because the side has a slight cliff on the side what about the other side?
Speaker 2that's where the boat is hanging, with the deeper, the 60 foot drop so is there a good alley that I could try to lure these guys into?
Speaker 3yeah, yeah, you're in a city.
Speaker 2Okay, so meet me over there by that window. But, glenn, be, I'll make a distraction. But if only one of them leaves, you might be prepared to have to make a quick move. I don't imagine that both of them will necessarily follow.
Speaker 5No, no, no, it's okay. I have a special way to touch people to make them go to sleep.
Speaker 7Me too, as Glenn pulls out his dagger.
Speaker 2Okay, this sounds like a plan. We'll meet over here and Monty throws his cape over his head and kind of disappears back where they came and he's heading for the alley.
Speaker 7Okay, too bad they don't have saps anymore. All right, this version of the game.
Speaker 3So, monty, what are you doing?
Speaker 2So Monty is gonna kind of double back and go to the exit of go ahead.
Speaker 7I would like to make a request that you use your Lyra to do your distraction.
Speaker 6Talk about his long-dressed banjo.
Speaker 2Yes, long-dressed banjo. So he'll run, find an alley that he can loop back around to where he goes in the exit and goes around to the entrance of the alley, and the entrance is going to be is an abomination and is the death of this poor town. And he can't even pleasure a. Oh, dorvey, dorvey, dorvey, dory, dory, there you go.
Speaker 5Finding.
Speaker 2Dorvey. He can't even take care of a town or pleasure women. Is the extent of the song that he is playing on his lyre.
Speaker 3I'm getting like flashbacks to the Lion King, where Timon and Pumbaa are like dancing in their grass skirt. Alright, alright, okay, so, all right, um, okay, so, uh, monty, the older, the younger and older guard both look at you. The younger guard looks to the older guard and the older guard nods once as the younger guard pulls his crossbow out and points it at you and starts running at you.
Speaker 2Monty will just slowly start ducking into the alleyway, taking slow steps until he gets out of sight, and then he's going to quickly run around a corner. But he wants to make sure At this point. Does Monty know he is coming after him?
Speaker 3Yes, Monty knows he's coming after him.
Speaker 2So he just like, slowly walks out of sight, and then, as soon as he gets, he breaks sight, he takes off down the alley running.
Speaker 3Okay. So, all right, go ahead. So, okay, okay, okay. So just as you're turning the corner, you look back and see the guard just making his way into the alley.
Speaker 2He's got his crossbow leveled and he's looking warily around the alley and then you duck around the corner and you can hear his footsteps behind you. So Monty's actually going to go around the exit of the alley into the city street and that's where he's going to put on the band of the hidden dwarf.
Speaker 3And then he's just going to just kind of meander slowly down the sidewalk trying to look like he was just a peasant just walking down the street, all right. So you see the younger guard dash out of the alley and he's looking around frantically with his crossbow leveled and you see him make eye contact with you and eye contact with a few others around you and he's looking around and he says loudly has anybody seen an ugly cat walk through here? Has anybody seen an ugly cat run through this?
Speaker 2alley Without saying anything. Monty will just point to the next alley like down. I don't think this band, this doesn't actually hide my voice. I don't think he's going to. It does not? Yeah. So he's just going to kind of point to that alley and nod at the guy.
Speaker 3The guard looks at you and he's just going to kind of point to that alley All right, and nod at the guy. The guard looks at you and he says thanks and he takes off. All right, nines.
Speaker 5Given that we have this visual format available to us and Maddie has some extra room, can I see a casual dwarven walk? Is that all right, Can we?
Speaker 3No no A dwarven sachet if you will.
Speaker 2I'm surprised you didn't ask me to sing the song.
Speaker 7I was going to, but Brandon I thought about it. I was going to, but, brandon, I thought about it, I would have Glenn. So Glenn will. As soon as he sees an opening where he can sneak by, he's going to sneak by.
Speaker 4So he's, going to.
Speaker 7Okay, so Monty is on the left-hand side of the building. If you're facing the building, Monty's on the left, correct?
Speaker 3Correct.
Speaker 7And the window's on the right Correct, okay, and the guards. The young guy is on the left or the right, I can't remember.
Speaker 3The young guy was on the right, but he's gone now. The older guy is on the left.
Speaker 7And where is he looking?
Speaker 3He is watching the entrance and watching the passerbys as they come in and out of the warehouse.
Speaker 7Okay, so Glenn is going to. Before he sneaks, when the guard is not looking, he's going to throw something a ball bearing or something, to make noise, throw it up against glass or something that's going to be loud, and he will throw a ball bearing to make noise to try to distract the guard as he's sneaking in.
Speaker 3So are you aiming for a window or something?
Speaker 7No, I'm just using it as a flavor for stealth.
Speaker 3Okay, so this guard is paying attention to all the people going in and out, and it's in the middle of the day in a city, so let's see.
Speaker 7So there's a lot of people right.
Speaker 3There are a lot of people While I'm looking at this. Brandon, what you got, or Nines.
Speaker 5Nines has an idea. Does that sound as foreboding? Yes, absolutely Like everyone else yeah, pretty much. Looking to diffuse or make the situation better. Nines is going to approach the older guard at the entrance to the warehouse and say Hi, I'm Nines. I bet you can't punch me in the face, okay.
Speaker 3Glenn, the guard is sufficiently distracted. The guard looks at Nines and he says I'm sorry, why would you want me to punch you in the face?
Speaker 5Believe me, sir, sir, I really don't.
Speaker 3I have no reason to punch you in the face that is so true.
Speaker 5I really appreciate the conundrum I've presented you with, but I promise you you can't if I punch you in the face for no reason, I will get in trouble.
Speaker 3I didn't think of that, can't If?
Speaker 5I punch you in the face for no reason. I will get in trouble.
Speaker 3I didn't think of that Like. This is my job.
Speaker 5I can't just start a fight for no reason. Well, if I punch you, no wait, that wouldn't work. I need you to punch me in the face unprovoked. Does that help?
Speaker 3No, that sounds like you want me to start a fight so that you can try to hurt me.
Speaker 5No, I don't want to hurt anything. I am a monk, sir. I appreciate and venerate all living beings. I wouldn't hurt the wings of a fly All right?
Speaker 3So, glenn, while this conversation is going on, give me a self-check advantage. The guard says back to you if you're a pacifist, why would you want me to punch you in the face?
Speaker 5So that I can passively show you why you shouldn't do that.
Speaker 3What did you get, Glenn 30.
Speaker 4God damn.
Speaker 5Yeah, you ducked down around other people. Never mind, I bet you would suck at it anyway.
Speaker 3I'm not saying you know what. I will be here.
Speaker 5Meet me by the flagpole afterwards tonight, you and me, we're going to have it. I will be untranquil by then.
Speaker 3You can't just You're a pacifist. You can't just say you're untranquil. Sometimes I'm untranquil.
Speaker 5What Are you? Okay, I'm leaving. You've insulted me, sir, and my entire religion.
Speaker 3The guard looks around wildly and he looks to other people walking past him and trying to get some comfort from them and he goes. What just happened?
Speaker 5Thank you for indulging me. This dwarf walks up.
Speaker 2Thank you for indulging me. This dwarf walks up and says never mind, my friend here he's just a bit different and kind of grabs him, pats him on the lower back because now he's not 7 feet tall, monty's not 7 feet tall anymore and says come, let us go this way bet you can't punch me in the face. You are probably right. I am not going to punch you.
Speaker 5Let us go See it's working.
Speaker 3Does Nines recognize that this is Monty?
Speaker 5Uh, I probably not. I don't see why he would know that this is.
Speaker 2Monty, just the voice, just the voice.
Speaker 3Uh, you know what, give me odds or evens, brandon, I'll do odds. You do not recognize that this is Monty.
Speaker 5Try to punch me in the face, dwarf.
Speaker 4I will punch you in the face.
Speaker 2I'll punch you in the face, hey guard look over here.
Speaker 5He's going to try. He's going to do it. Look at this.
Speaker 3The guard is staring at you bewilderedly and his hands are up and he's just very confused by this entire situation.
Speaker 5You can stop any time, All right dwarf Hands behind back, bending forward to get down to his level.
Speaker 2Just try to punch me monty punches him in the face you hear the guards say punch him monty will punch him in the face all right, uh, it is a 15.
Speaker 5Uh will save to try to attack me.
Speaker 3Yeah so give me my tranquility sanctuary spell so it's a Wisdom save first right.
Speaker 5Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3Okay, give me a Wisdom save.
Speaker 2All right.
Speaker 3DC 15.
Speaker 2I have four. I did not.
Speaker 3All right. So, monty, as you feel the anger and just frustration of Nines provoking you and him obviously not recognizing that it's you and you go to punch him, but just as your fist is about two inches from his face, some force pushes you to his side and your fist goes past his face you're right, I cannot.
Speaker 2I cannot punch him. I'm really glad that worked.
Speaker 5I didn't know that that was going to happen. Are you happy now? Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I have an apology letter to write.
Rooftop Escape Plan Implementation
Speaker 2I'm going to go now.
Speaker 3Nines Nines and Monty roll me a perception check.
Speaker 5Plus seven to perception, I rolled an 18 for a 25.
Speaker 2Oh, I got an 8.
Speaker 3Alright 9,. Do you hear the guard mutter under his voice? Obviously not one of the good ones. You can never trust a dwarf to do anything Gross.
Speaker 5See he couldn't do it. Pointing at his face Yelling at the guard.
Speaker 2Monty just starts walking kind of not towards the window but just away back into the town okay, uh, nines will continue to try to get people to punch him in the face, okay just like random passers by the guard is completely distracted just watching nines.
Speaker 3Do this, glenn. What would you like to do?
Speaker 7So Glenn is going to go upstairs and find the window All right.
Speaker 3So, glenn, as you're walking through, you do see the red slat. This creature is a large, toad-like creature. It's got a pretty muscular build, it stands eight feet tall and it's got a brightad-like creature. It's got a pretty muscular build, it stands 8 feet tall and it's got a bright, crimson red skin. It's covered in warts and spikes. Its eyes glow with an orange hue and its mouth is filled with sharp, jagged teeth. You see, it's got large, powerful limbs and clawed hands and feet, and in its left hand hand it holds a large club.
Speaker 3Between the first and second floor fly two manticores which you can now identify based off your discussion with the party. Uh, they're, they're hybrid creatures with the body of a lion, wings of a bat in the face of a humanoid, with mouth filled with three rows of sharp teeth. It's got a long spike tail, spiked tail, and now you know it can launch deadly spikes from that tail. So I need, on the first floor, I need you to roll me a stealth check, and then I also need you to roll me a stealth check on the second floor, at disadvantage.
Speaker 7So just regular then.
Speaker 4Correct.
Speaker 7Because I'm at advantage.
Speaker 4Yep.
Speaker 5So you said there were how many creatures.
Speaker 3There are plenty of animals, or plenty of humans, walking back and forth. There's one red slad and two manticores.
Speaker 5Okay, so three, yeah, three like monstos.
Speaker 7Yeah, so 29 for the first floor. Yeah, three like monsters, so 29 for the first form. Oh, fat dragon, natural 20, so 39 but it's a disadvantage.
Speaker 3Right, but it's not.
Speaker 7I have advantage.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so 39, alright, yeah, so you sneak past, no problem, the manticores, I have advantage. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, so 39. All right, yeah, so you sneak past, no problem, the Manticores. Briefly look in your general direction, but continue to move on Apparently.
Speaker 7I have the dice from when the D&D movie came out.
Speaker 5Yeah, that's when I joined too. It was yeah, thimber showed.
Speaker 7But anyway, okay, so I get up to the window.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 7And I'm guessing that I get up to the window and I see the nonsense that Nines is doing.
Speaker 3Yeah, you see your monk friend, your half-elf monk friend, walking up to random passersby High elf oh sorry, half-elf. Or walking up to random passersby oh sorry, half-elf or high-elf. Walking up to random passersby and saying and you hear him loudly proclaiming I bet you can't punch me in the face so Glenn releases a long-suffering sigh, and now he looks for the rest of this group down below.
Speaker 2Monty releases a long-suffering sigh, and now he looks for the rest of this group Down below Monty is walking up to where the window should be, in dwarf form.
Speaker 3Okay, what is Sam doing during this?
Speaker 6Sam's hiding, as she was told to. I assume that she has beansprout and she's like is that monk a genius? It's working so good.
Speaker 4I bet.
Speaker 6I could punch him in the face.
Speaker 4It's going to be how Nines dies.
Speaker 3It's going to be a Houdini thing, as you say, that Beansprout looks to you, puts his hand on your right temple and you hear him chittering in excitement.
Speaker 7So Glenn will open the window and see, try to calmly lower a rope down. So you do, lower a rope down.
Speaker 3So you do lower the rope down, which is to the far left of the guard, about 30 feet away, and he does not see the rope lowered. Monty, you do see the rope lowered, sam. You also see the rope lowered, nines. I need you to give me a perception check at disadvantage.
Speaker 5Son of a. My perception's too good, isn't it?
Speaker 3No, it's only because you're asking every passerby if they can punch you in the face.
Speaker 5Okay, well, with disadvantage, I rolled a 6 plus 7 for 13.
Speaker 3Okay, you're in the middle of asking somebody that they bet you can't punch you in the face when you, in your left peripheral, you see a rope being lowered from a window.
Speaker 7This was the plan.
Speaker 5Hang on. No, I need to maybe roll. Can you give me evens or odds Odds? Nines is going to call out the rope. He's going to be like oh my god, yeah, he's going to forget. And on evens he's going to recognize like oh shit, that's my rope.
Speaker 3Come on, that can't be odd even, oh my god, nines, you do remember that this is part of the plan.
Speaker 5Nines will catch himself before pointing out the rope to everyone. Hey guys, there's a rope and then make his way towards it Like very fucking suspiciously Stopping mid-sentence and like conspicuously making his way towards it.
Speaker 3Uh, the guard is still staring at you. Nines, give me a stealth check.
Speaker 2Monty sees all this happening and realizes this could go south very quickly and wants to hurry up the rope as fast as possible well, I rolled a with my self check.
Speaker 5I rolled a, an 18. Let's go down with my bonus, but plus, pass without trace.
Speaker 3Yeah, that gives me a 28, yeah so yeah, you the the guard gets distracted and looks somewhere else as you're walking by.
Speaker 5Alright, so Role played successfully Alright you forced Gump here.
Speaker 7What about Sam? You forced Gump your way through that situation. Hang on a minute.
Speaker 5That man is a national treasure. I'm going to need you to back off of old Forrest for a little bit, I got a piece. So one day.
Speaker 2I just started asking people to punch me, and I just kept asking people to punch me.
Speaker 5It's like Jerry from Rick and Morty. He's like I just kept asking people to punch me and it kept working.
Speaker 7Sam do.
Speaker 3Alright, what does Sam do?
Speaker 6I mean, Sam is on board. She's trying to impress these guys that are seasoned adventurers and a monk and just wants to climb this building.
Speaker 3Alright, so who is so? You're all at the bottom of the rope right now. Who is the first one to climb?
Speaker 2I think Monty, seeing Nines losing the distraction thing, would have started scampering up the rope as fast as possible. He's still a dwarf, so Sam's probably going to look over and see him.
Speaker 6Sam's on station in. Look over and see him. Sam's the only one who's not like Sam's on station in the right spot, yeah.
Speaker 3Sam would be the first person there, sam's the first one at the rope.
Speaker 7Just as a quick note that Glenn is watching all of this shit happening and he is at a moment's notice. If freaking Nines is going to bring the attention, he's pulling that rope up.
Speaker 6Understood, Not with Sam.
Speaker 7on the other end you're not Well if Sam's on the other end, glenn is not pulling the rope up, so Sam, you're going to climb the rope?
Speaker 3Yeah, all right, I need you to give me an athletics check. Oh, athletics you should be pretty good at this, uh 18. Alright, uh. So, sam, you look around and easily pull yourself up one hand over another. You don't even like use your legs to help you climb the rope. You just are hauling yourself up that rope.
Speaker 6Hell yeah, and you easily make it to the second floor. Easy peasy.
Speaker 3I could have jumped that, monty, you're the next one there. I could have jumped that. You're probably good enough. All right, monty, you need to give me an athletics check.
Speaker 2Okay, 14. Never mind Plus zero.
Speaker 3Okay yeah, you scamper your way up there using your claws to make sure you stick to the rope and you make your way up. And finally, nines you just saw an orc and a dwarf climb their way up.
Speaker 5I do have unarmored movement improvement. What does that do? It means that I gain the ability to move along vertical surfaces and across liquids on my turn without falling. So I think that means that my move speed is also my climb speed and my over water speed.
Speaker 6Generally speaking, you can run up walls. I'm pretty sure that's what that means. I'll look it up later We'll move on.
Speaker 3For now, nines, you easily grapple your way up this. This is no problem for you. So all of you are on the second floor of a warehouse, with two manticores flying between the first and second floor. I need you to throw me a stealth check.
Speaker 4I got a 28.
Speaker 7Is there a way that I could, can you, assist with stealth checks?
Speaker 4Not unless you're distracting.
Speaker 5Yeah, so with any check you're supposed to be able to grant advantage, I think 5e rules.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 5I mean obviously, if it's reasonable to do so.
Speaker 3You got to do something to distract that creature. You're trying to sneak past, or something like that. So, you could do it, but it would require.
Speaker 6I mean it might also be like, you know, padding some weapons or doing something else, so like I'm going to some weapons or doing something else to like reduce the noise of the passerby. Sam got a 17 plus 10 for 27.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 3All right. So Monty, with a low roll of 28. All right.
Speaker 2Sam got 27.
Speaker 3Okay. So, so, yeah, you're on the second floor. You do see a door in the far back left corner. The two Manticores are flying around that area, but there are plenty of boxes up here. You can keep behind at all times and you can make your way to that door, or you can make your way down one of two stairs on the northwest and southeast corner.
Speaker 5Is it just a warehouse otherwise?
Speaker 3Yes, so there are three floors of this warehouse, one sub-basement or one basement, one ground level, one second floor, which two spiral staircase. Two spiral staircases lead from the between all the floors, and on the second floor there's a door that leads across the bridge to the ship.
Speaker 5Yeah, and that's where we're trying to go to the floors. On the second floor there's a door that leads across the bridge to the ship.
Speaker 7We're trying to go to the ship Correct To confront. Dory Glenn will lead the way to make sure to see if the door is unlocked and all that.
Speaker 3You make your way over there and you try to handle the door. The door is locked.
Speaker 7All right, Glenn will check around him and make sure that they're still covered under stealth and he kind of puts his finger to his lips and kind of tells everybody to stay still, and then he will unlock the door All right, give me a sleight of hand check.
Speaker 3Well he does that. Sorry, thieves' tools? Well, he does that.
Speaker 6Sorry, thieves tools. Well, he does that. Just a question If there are manticores that are part of a military group, are they the manticore, manticore, manticores of the manticore, the core of manticores?
Speaker 3The core of manticores.
Speaker 6yeah, Manticore core.
Speaker 2The manticore core. Why are we even having this discussion? I thought that was just common knowledge to everybody. Everyone knows that.
Speaker 5Actually can I take five or ten soon.
Speaker 3Yeah, let's take five minutes and use the restrooms. But, Glenn, you do hear a click and the door unlocks.
Speaker 7So what are the stats for the Star powder?
Speaker 5You mean like nose candy?
Speaker 7Are you talking about cocaine? I'm talking about in the game, Like do we have the star powder? Oh.
Speaker 6Who has a star powder, glenn had it.
Speaker 5What I guess?
Speaker 7I don't see it on my list anymore. I know that he had it. Hmm.
Speaker 6Neither Glenn Excuse me Neither Mors nor Sam has nose candy. Mors does have a little bag of sand, though if you're looking for the right texture, no, or a particular texture, it's not the right texture, probably. I assume that would be uncomfortable. It's probably not sand, like If I had to guess Star powder.
Speaker 7there it is, Glenn has it. He has eight doses of star powder.
Speaker 5So the slad and the manticorin, which I think is the actual pluralization, those are on the first floor of the warehouse.
Speaker 7No, the manticore is flying between the first and the second floor.
Speaker 3The manticorei are flying between the first and second floor.
Speaker 5The manticorides fly is what I'm hearing Correct, they have wings.
Speaker 2How many wings?
Speaker 5The airborne core of the Manticore core has wings.
Speaker 3The core of the Manticores, have two core wings Okay.
Speaker 6Wings or like Red Bull wings, depends on if they're qualified, because then they get that third set.
Speaker 5Wait, manticore have wings. Shut the shit up.
Speaker 3Yeah, man score.
Speaker 5Really do have wings in D&D wait, oh fuck, I'm thinking of a displacer beast. What is uh can you? Describe a manticore to me please.
Speaker 2Yes, I can try this face, lion body, dragon rings tail. That shoots barbs.
Speaker 3Yep, so Manticore is a hybrid creature body of a lion, wings of a bat, face of a humanoid or lion with a mouth filled with three rows of sharp teeth, long spike tail, not even scorpion tail. Nope, long spike tail, not necessarily a scorpion tail.
Speaker 5Very interesting. Like a xenomorph tail maybe.
Speaker 3Actually I'll do this. I'll drop this into the chat.
Speaker 5Yeah, for whatever reason. I was thinking displacer beast. I was thinking cat. The entire time. Manticore always makes me think of that, but you're right.
Speaker 6I imagine like a hailer needler on a tail, just like rated.
Speaker 3M. That is a Manticore from the D&D 5e monster manual. Oh, we have so many chance.
Speaker 5I'm gonna look at a oh shared notes. Hey, oh man, that's. Oh, that's this motherfucker. Why is that blurry? That's some medieval shit. That's like 80 by 80 pixels. I.
Speaker 2Had no idea that the displacer kitten was a displacer beast from magic. A little cross pollination between D&D and magic.
Speaker 5Excuse me, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2There's a magic card called Displacer Kitten.
Speaker 5That's true.
Speaker 2And apparently it's a tiny, it's a kitten which comes obviously from A, d and D.
Speaker 5Kitten, which comes obviously from AD&D, yeah, which most of Magic is more or less based on right, a lot of it.
Speaker 3There's a lot of crossover, yeah.
Speaker 7I mean Especially now, because it's owned by the same company.
Speaker 5Original Genesis though 1980s it's owned by. Hasbro. Yeah, like think of all of the influences. Like it all comes back to Tolkien 1980s. Think of all of the influences. It all comes back to Tolkien, the Brothers Grimm, whoever else. Such a good book. Okay, so it looks like the Manticore has a oh, what is? What is the stegosaurus tail called?
Speaker 3it has a specific name, it does yeah, no, it's called like a thrombulator there is no way. That's not a sex toy no, dude.
Flesh Golems and Manticore Escape
Speaker 5so here's the story. Thank you, it was from Gary Larson. There is no way. That's not a sex toy, no dude. So here's the story Fagomizer, fagomizer. Thank you, it was from Gary Larson. Creator of the Farside comic strip on what, for Gen Zers, is a newspaper, which was when they printed Twitter on paper and sent it to everyone every day, anyway. So every now and then there were cartoons, one of which was the Far Side, by Gary Larson, and he actually, within one of his cartoons, coined the term Thagomizer, based on a caveman named Thag, and then paleontologists started calling the Stegosaurus tail a Thagomizer. Justin, I call on you next next.
Speaker 6Unfortunately, while I get the inspiration, the picture basis that we're looking at here is not a Thagomizer because, according to the six different articles I looked at just casually browsing Google while you were monologuing, has to be a specific orientation of exactly four spikes.
Speaker 5Okay, so Thagomizer is kind of a misnomer. Like, all tail spikes are Thagomizers are tail spikes, but not all tail spikes are Thagomizers. That appears to be the case.
Speaker 6Damn it. And it could even be a four-spiked tail and not be a Thagomizer, because it doesn't have the specific orientation.
Speaker 5Yeah, well, you know what?
Speaker 2Hey, now we know.
Speaker 5And we're better people.
Speaker 6Damn it. That's just to play something I might have used for a different purpose. But maybe that'll be a trivia question one day and I can win like a t-shirt or something.
Speaker 3Hell yeah there you go A D&D story where you learn new things every day, every day day every three months. Hey, it'll work.
Speaker 5Alright, split every episode into four minute chunks and you just put one out every day. Keep that interest high, bro. I don't think it works like that. I mean, I know how to math, my guy alright.
Speaker 3so, glenn, we just left off where you unlock the lock of the door or unlock the door and as soon as you hear a click the door and as soon as you hear a click the door, you feel the tension release from the door and you also hear a loud boom, boom, boom at the same time and you hear the wings of the manticores start rising back to the second floor.
Speaker 7What would you like to do? Where does the boom, boom, boom come from?
Speaker 3You're not sure.
Speaker 5So the manticore is flying up too fast.
Speaker 7I can't be sure where a sound came from.
Speaker 3You're not sure. It's all around you.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 5I mean, sound is just vibration, and sometimes vibrations are vibratory.
Speaker 2Do we all hear this?
Speaker 3Yes, you all do Okay.
Speaker 7Okay, so Glenn will, when we hear the manticore. Alright, so Okay. So Glenn will take a smoke pellet and throw it across the room and make it land on the other side of the warehouse, not aiming for anything in particular. Okay.
Speaker 3So yeah, that smoke pellet sells across. It explodes. You do see the manticores rise and they immediately go towards that smoke and Glenn will then open the door and go through. Okay, and the rest of you?
Speaker 2Monty's right behind him.
Speaker 3And as you get through, are you closing the door and go?
Speaker 7through, okay, and the rest of you, monty's right behind him, and as you get through, are you closing the door? Yes, well, I'm not the person there, so that would have to be Whoever. The last person that goes through will have to make that decision, but Glenn will be whispering, close the door.
Speaker 3Based off of the order that I have, Sam, you're the last one through the door. What do you do with it?
Speaker 6Yeah, sam will look around a little bit, startled by the noise, and then watch Glenn throw the smoke bomb over, slip through and mostly close the door and watch to see what the manticores do, with just enough of a sliver to see what's actually happening. And if they, if they don't go towards the smoke bomb, she'll quickly and quietly shut the door. Otherwise she'll try to appear for a few moments longer to see if they go investigate. Okay, um?
Speaker 3no, the manticores go to that smoke and they start circling around the second floor of the room checking at every window and door that's up there.
Speaker 6And I will close the door quietly and firmly and then lean back over and say I think your smoke thing was good. It looks like they're looking over there.
Speaker 3So okay. So while you guys are doing this, you do hear some voices in the room and you hear one of them say in a deep, rough voice what do you call a group of musical bards? And the other one responds with that's an easy one, a band of merry men. And then you hear them say the second voice say how does a druid send messages? And the first one goes you gotta try harder than that by planting an idea in your head.
Speaker 7So can we see these?
Speaker 3Yes, so what you see in this room.
Speaker 5Hey, can I use my free action to be?
Speaker 3disgusted. Yes, absolutely so. In this room, you see, uh, you see a large table with ten chairs around it, um, with a couple in the center of the room. It's got various papers and maps all scattered across it. You see a bear rug on the left side of the room with several large paintings around the room itself and at the very end of the table, what you see is two grotesque-looking creatures. So, oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, go back. So what?
Speaker 6you see? Okay, I'll go back to the door.
Speaker 3Yes, go back to the door. So what you see is a pretty grotesque creature, two creatures. They stand eight feet tall and what you can tell from their body is they're composed of various fish and squid parts that are stitched together. You see various scales of different colors and fins and slimy skin covering its form. They're vaguely humanoid in shapes, but their limbs are mismatched with an assortment of fish anatomy. Some many include claw-like appendages, while its head is a human shape, one male, one female with bulging eyes and gaping mouths.
Speaker 7So are these those thingies?
Speaker 5Smooks, mooks these are major arms.
Speaker 2Skoom, no Skoom.
Speaker 7Skooms. Are these Skooms?
Speaker 3No. So, as you see them, they both turn and look at you, and each of you give me either a nature check or an arcana check.
Speaker 6Do I have inspiration for any reason?
Speaker 3Brandon actually has inspiration for this one.
Speaker 7So kind of upset that I didn't get it for using a magic.
Speaker 5I'm gonna use that shoe more years ago.
Speaker 6Roll the 10. So did Maddie really? I mean, yeah, I.
Speaker 2Got 17.
Speaker 3All right, so Maddie got 17. What did everybody else get?
Speaker 514. Alright, so Matty got 17. What did everybody else get? Sam got a 14. With advantage, I used my inspiration. I rolled a natural 20.
Speaker 3Plus 2. And Glenn, 9. 9? No, I'm 9. So, everybody but Glenn, you recognize this as uh. So, glenn, what you see? Uh, they look like, uh, just abominations. They see stitches all over their body. They're not wearing a speck of clothing, uh, and they're just hideous creatures. They look like what you would imagine from a terrible play of zombies. The rest of you identify these as flesh golems. So, um, flesh golems are typically muscled brutes with, uh, very limited intelligence but formidable strength. They've got powerful enchantments protecting it which can deflect spells and all but the most potent of weapons. They typically use their brute strength to overpower their enemies and they're assembled by powerful sorcerers or wizards as bodyguards.
Speaker 2Is there anybody else in the room?
Flesh Golem Battle Plan Implementation
Speaker 3Not that you see, but they do see you. So I'm gonna need everybody to roll me some initiative.
Speaker 7How big is the room?
Speaker 3It is a very large room, so I'm going to invite you guys to this right now. It is, let me see, about 75 by 75.
Speaker 5Yeah, can you tell me again the part where you said all about the stuff?
Speaker 3That is not very descriptive at all.
Speaker 6You guys know about the flesh golems yeah or they rewind like four minutes tell me where we're doing room with two flesh columns in it.
Speaker 2They're telling jokes to each other. The flesh columns are a bunch of fish parts put together, held together by a source.
Speaker 7They are they are not telling jokes together by a sorcerer. They are not telling jokes.
Speaker 4Yeah, jokes by definition are funny. Yeah we all know that.
Speaker 7So are we doing above VTT or the maps? How do you get there?
Speaker 3In the top right of your player screen you should see start session or launch maps.
Speaker 7The play. Button.
Speaker 3Does everybody see their characters there? Perfect one second. Sam is a Justin because the only downside of maps is that it doesn't have a tracker just yet you have the wrong icon for there's a Morris here.
Speaker 6Did I transform back? No, you did not you've been deleted.
Speaker 2I just wanted you, so I never stopped stealthing, so they can't see me now they can see you how can they? Two.
Speaker 6You were still right there, matty, they're both.
Speaker 3So meta the boom, boom, boom was a magical alarm of the door.
Speaker 2There was no getting around that one, huh.
Speaker 3You could have disarmed it oh.
Speaker 2Whoops, I thought about detecting traps, but yeah.
Speaker 5All right.
Speaker 7Brenda's never used a trap or a lock before, and I didn't figure he'd use both on the same door.
Speaker 5Yeah, who is he? Andrew.
Speaker 3I'm trying to better myself as a DM. Yeah, alright.
Speaker 6That's what I appreciate about you, Brandon.
Speaker 3Alright, so what did everybody roll for initiative?
Speaker 7Oh shit, Eight Got an 11?.
Speaker 4Just shit Eight.
Speaker 2Got an 11.
Speaker 5Just like the best number, 14. 14.
Speaker 314, 8,. So, Sam Monty, you got a 14?
Speaker 211.
Speaker 311.
Speaker 2Glenn got a 14. Mother. Glenn, what did you get?
Speaker 3Nines.
Speaker 5I just rolled a six and I'm wondering if I have anything that will help me re-roll that, but I don't think so.
Speaker 3I don't think so. That could have been great for your inspiration there.
Speaker 5Well, you know what? It was better that I used it when I did, because otherwise I just never would have.
Speaker 2No, and they were flesh columns.
Speaker 3Alright. So you hear. What you hear is a large gasp and a shout of excitement, and then a dark green cloud spreads over all of you. I need everybody to give me a constitution saving throw.
Speaker 2Ouch.
Speaker 6It's a seven, no 25 for my con, save Nice.
Speaker 7I failed.
Speaker 2Monty rolled 10.
Speaker 7Still can't believe you didn't give me inspiration for the smoke bomb, but that's fine and for not drawing a anteater.
Speaker 3Okay, okay, so, all right, okay, so, all right. So, sam, you take 13 points of poison damage. Everybody else, you take 26 points of poison damage. 36, 26 wait, what was I supposed to do? You take 26 points of poison damage oh no that's your initiative roll roll me a con save.
Speaker 5Sorry, I was thinking about I have some sort of mother fuck.
Speaker 3I rolled a 2 yeah, you take 26 points of poison damage. All right, and it is your turn, can we?
Speaker 2erase the drawings. Sad cannon no idea.
Speaker 5Nobody knows whose drawings are whose.
Speaker 2It's impossible. I don I think anybody can erase them. Alright, sure Drawings, Brandon.
Speaker 7Okay, so Glenn will, glenn will jump up onto the table.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 7That's the wrong one. Jump up onto the table and throw a dagger at the flesh gold which one?
Speaker 3let me actually rename them real quick. I'll do fleshy 1 and fleshy 2 so fleshy 2.
Speaker 6I can't see your highlights, just so you know I can't see your highlights, just so you know I can't either.
Speaker 7I know.
Speaker 3Okay, so throw a dagger at Fleshy 2.
Speaker 7I was being sarcastic. You're a stinker.
Speaker 3You're a stinker Alright, so give me an attack roll there, glenn.
Speaker 7Wait, hold on one second attack. Roll there, glenn. Okay, nevermind, all right, so I changed my mind. So Glenn is going to run directly up to Fleshy 2. Okay, and it's 50 feet to him.
Speaker 3So he's going to say kaboom and attack him with his rapier. Just as a reminder. How are you going 50 feet and still attacking?
Speaker 7Oh, I'm sorry. Bonus action Using my bonus action for Dash. I forgot, I thought it, you didn't hear me. Oh, I'm sorry. Bonus action Using my bonus action for dash. I forgot, I thought it, you didn't hear me.
Speaker 3No, I did not.
Speaker 7Alright, so sorry. Glenn is going to use his bonus action. He's gonna do his movement 30. Use his bonus action for another 30. He will dart up for 50 and do his attack action, which is the CD core jewel. He will attack up for 50 and do his attack action, which is the Seedy Core Jewel. He will attack with that and he gets a 25 to hit.
Speaker 3It does hit All right, so roll me some damage.
Speaker 7So roll me some damage. Uh, seven, eleven, are you freaking, kidding me? Alright. Eleven and Twelve Did more with the boom. Uh, thirty, thirty damage okay. 12 did more with the food I what? 30 30 damage okay and then you will move back the I am.
Speaker 3How are you disengaging?
Speaker 6I just attacked him is another bonus action as on the attack, sees, got it automatically, doesn't take yeah, a church.
Speaker 3It's been a while the scoundrel monthly dancer.
Speaker 6What do you call the good? The?
Speaker 4anti footwork he's a swashbuckler okay, all right Monty.
Speaker 2Okay, so we're in a room on the east side of the room. The baddies are on the west side of the room.
Speaker 3Oh sorry, monty. I'm sorry, monty, I need you to make me another con save.
Speaker 2Oh, because I started my turn inside. Yeah, that's going to be bad 15.
Speaker 315. Okay, that saves you take. I forgot to do it to Glenn. That's the only reason he didn't take any damage.
Speaker 7I ran out of it really quickly.
Speaker 2Yeah, he's a rogue, he's a thief. For that you take 12 points of damage Called allergic to acid Allergic to that you take 12 points of damage Called allergic to acid.
Speaker 3Allergic to acid.
Speaker 2Okay, 12 points of damage, Alright. So we're standing in a pool of yuckies, so Monty's definitely going to move out of that, okay, so I am going to grab my character and I am going to move. How do I actually grab my character?
Speaker 7use the bottom button for token token browser.
Speaker 2There we go. Okay, so monty's just going to move down to this corner of the room.
Speaker 4You have to describe it.
Speaker 2Yeah, down to the south about 38 feet. Okay, uh, to the we'll call it the south east corner of the room. How are you going 38 feet?
Speaker 3I'll make it the southeast corner of the room. How are?
Speaker 2you going 38 feet, I'll make it a solid 30 feet Okay.
Speaker 3That is my move speed, that is your move speed.
Speaker 2This room, the scale in this room is there we go. The scale in this room is a.
Speaker 3Yeah, so real talk it was much smaller with the original room, but I blew it up just so there's movement during the combat. Yeah, so real talk. It was much smaller with the original room, but I blew it up just so there's movement during the combat.
Speaker 2Yeah, there's a 50-foot-long table in the middle of the room.
Speaker 3Sometimes he hosts giants 20 feet wide.
Speaker 2If you know a big girl, I got a 10-foot-wide chair for you. Anyway, Then Monty's going to again. This is ranger dwarf is going to pull out his bow and which nine still does not know.
Speaker 3So he just sees a dwarf pull out a bow, and neither does sam go.
Speaker 2That's sam, yeah, sam oh, that's true.
Speaker 7Yeah, glenn. Glenn is the only one that knows this. I was going to whisper to him to change it, but I think this actually works better, more in keeping with Glenn's personality.
Speaker 6I was going to ask is it a physical change? Is he physically a dwarf?
Speaker 3right now, it's just an illusion. It's just an illusion.
Speaker 2Yeah, and I'm going to shoot twice at the fleshy number two, that is, the flesh golem Glenn is currently attacking.
Speaker 3Okay, give me two attack rolls.
Speaker 2Two attack rolls coming right up. I got a 23 and a 14.
Speaker 4Both hit.
Speaker 2Both hit, both hit. So let's do two sets of damage, that's 17 plus 23. Total damage 23 total damage. And then yeah, just normal damage.
Speaker 3Okay, so all right. Yeah, just normal damage, okay, so, alright. So as the ice, as your ice arrows pierce into Fleshy 2, he looks at them and slaps them off of his side. He's obviously hurt from it. He grunts as they impact his side, but he slaps them down and your arrows fall to the ground with part of their staff still sticking out of his body. Alright, that's it for me. Okay, and your arrows fall to the ground with part of their staff still sticking out of his body All right, that's it for me, okay, okay.
Speaker 3So Fleshy1 is going to dash. Fleshy1 is going to dash down here around the table and go around towards Glen and Sam.
Speaker 6you're up so first I have to ask. I think I can get. I've moved to speed of 40 feet, so all I have to do is adjacent within five feet of that guy. Right, correct, can I get to combat melee combat range with fleshy one? Is that okay? Combat Melee combat range with Fleshy 1? Is that okay? Space?
Speaker 3next to me, to the space next to it. Yeah, yeah absolutely.
Speaker 6Oh yeah, alright. Well then, in that case, first I'm gonna make a con save to take some damage.
Speaker 3Yes, you are. Thank you for the reminder.
Speaker 6That's a 19 plus 9 for 28.
Speaker 3That does save. So you are going to take You're going to take 15 points of damage.
Speaker 2Was this also part of the trap? I'm assuming, okay. Was this also part of the trap.
Speaker 3I'm assuming For our listeners. Shrug shoulders.
Speaker 6Guys, I have bad news. I'm under 100 HP now. It's good to not be a wizard sometimes, you know.
Speaker 3Hey, morse would already be down.
Speaker 6Alright, so Sam is going to run up, as we mentioned before, and as I get within 10 feet of Mr Fleshy man, I'm going to activate my bonus action to enter a rage. Is it poison or acid? Did you say that we were?
Speaker 6in damage yeah, poison damage. So I'm running up there and like I wipe the poison like out of my one unpatched eye and like fling it to the ground, and then like this big guttural roar comes out of her, out of sam, as she runs up, and then like lightning starts to spark all around her and then out of nowhere, this lightning bolt just shoots down and smacks Fleshy1 as Sam enters a storm or a rage. Can you roll a dex?
Speaker 3save for Fleshy1, please. Well, you know, Flesh Golems are notoriously good at dexterity. Saving throws Hell yeah. So he rolled a two. Well, you know, Flesh Golems are notoriously good at Dexterity saving throws Hell yeah. So he rolled a 2. Okay, DC was 16.
Speaker 5Is that good?
Speaker 3I think it is. I think it is.
Speaker 6Yeah, full damage from a 2d6 Lightning damage, which is a whopping 5 lightning damage. As it comes down on you, it's a fleshy 1, got it.
Speaker 3What's that?
Speaker 6Alright, I think there's something about giving lightning resistance to myself and my peers, but I don't think that's going to be relevant. So as that lightning strikes down, sam reaches under her cloak, behind her, and then pulls out her big two-handed axe, her great axe, and rears back and just takes a huge. As she slides up next to this thing flesh golem number one she's approaching it from the east side. She slides to a stop and brings this thing over for a massive two-headed swing overhead to try to swing at it or hit it, and then she'll follow up with another crossbody slash coming from the side.
Speaker 3Just a question For the Great Axe. Are you using your Great Axe or the Gravedigger's Shovel?
Speaker 6It's the Great Axe just because there's two handles. So it's kind of like what's she going to get to, you know?
Speaker 3But in this case it is the axe, Unless there's, for some reason, the Gravedigger, the reason I'm asking is because you have both equipped to you right now, but the Gravedigger's shovel has the same attack damage as the Greataxe. That's the only reason I'm asking.
Fighting, Damage, Perception, and Fireball
Speaker 6Yeah, same stats. You gave it to me, so they're both pretty good. But, sam, you know she's, this is her trusted buddy, the great acts. Okay, but she's actually all right. Give me an attack roll. Okay, the first attack, the overhead, it's a 17 plus 10 is 27. That does it. I think rage does something. Advantage on strength checks and saving throws, not attacks. Oh, plus three melee damage Scree. So my attack roll. So that's the first attack. I'm gonna roll a second attack to you while I'm at it, which is a 16 plus 10 to his 26. That does it eat. So hopefully, plus 10 to hit is a 26. That does hit. So hopefully it looks like I don't think that it automatically adds my damage to this thing. Maybe it does 1d12 plus 6? Shoot, I don't know.
Speaker 7That's your normal is 1d12 plus 6.
Speaker 6Okay, then I will add 3 damage to each of these hits. Okay, the first one is 1 plus 7 is Sorry. 1 plus 6 is 7 plus 3 is 10. So 10 on the first hit, which is phenomenal. And the second one is a 2 plus 6 for 8 plus 3 for 11.
Speaker 3Okay, so 21 damage total.
Speaker 6Yeah, I just wanted to check, did I? I have massive crits, so do I have either of those? Were they big enough? No, no, close, that's it. That's my big turn.
Speaker 2Total damage done there 22.
Speaker 327 total.
Speaker 6I did roll a 1 and 2 on my damage die.
Speaker 7My 6d6 friggin' sneak. I rolled 4 or 5 ones.
Speaker 6And a 2. And a 2.
Speaker 3All right, my lightning also didn't do much, so it sucks Nice, I need you to roll me a con save.
Speaker 5Very well. Luckily I'm plus 2 here, so I rolled a 15 for 17.
Speaker 3All right that does save. So you're going to take You're going to take 16 points of damage. Jesus.
Speaker 5How much did I take before it? Was 36, right or 33?
Speaker 4It was 23.
Speaker 323.
Speaker 626. 26. It was 13 and 20 26 yep 26 damage.
Speaker 5I actually did 22. My bad 26. You said 26. Demage.
Speaker 3And then 16.
Speaker 5Hello, damage 16 damage Puts me at 27 out of 69. I'm in a bad way. Yeah, you're not looking great.
Speaker 3But it's my turn, it is your turn. So, Nines, as you breathe in this cloud, you feel pain in your lungs and you spit up a little bit of blood as it falls to the floor. What kind of cloud is this it is a poison cloud. Oh well, unfortunately, I'm actually Specifically this spell Cloud Kill.
Speaker 5Oh well, unfortunately, Specifically the spell Cloudkill. I am completely immune to disease and poison, as it turns out, because of my purity of body.
Speaker 2Is that true Sounds?
Speaker 3convincing. It does sound convincing, but I'm looking to leave your immune disease and poison.
Speaker 7So let me let me check, let me make sure poison cloud right, Clouds these club.
Speaker 3He's immune to disease of magical sleep and poison. Yeah, you are immune to this, so you take none of that damage.
Speaker 5He dances in the poison. Which, how many damage.
Speaker 3All of it, the 26 and the 16. You take it all back.
Speaker 2Thank you.
Speaker 3Does he still lose blood on the ground?
Speaker 5Yeah, a little bit of blood spills onto the ground still Not if I swipe it up or use a free action, a bonus action?
Speaker 4Is that a free action, a bonus action? What do I do here?
Speaker 2He starts coming out his nose and he goes you get back in there, Alright, so.
Speaker 5I can move a total of 50 feet, which would put me directly opposite of Glenn here on this fleshy one on top of the table. Does that feel fair?
Speaker 4Yep.
Speaker 5Okay, so I'm going to use my power of doing shit to move myself. How the fuck you click the token browser at the bottom T bottom browser and then you can type yourself and yeah, okay, cool, hot, tst, thank you very much, uh. And then I'm gonna, I'm gonna thump this dude on the back of his head. All right, he did bad things. Alright, he did bad things.
Speaker 6His poison can't hit you in the face.
Speaker 5So I'm attacking him with my quarterstaff plus.
Speaker 7That was funny, fuck you. I laughed.
Speaker 5I didn't understand.
Speaker 2I think you have flanking on this one, don't you.
Speaker 5Legally, yes, but are we doing flanking rules? Do you give me advantage for this? Do we generally do advantage for flanking? He had said previously.
Speaker 7In previous episodes he had said that you gave it to me one time because of the way I played my class by stating that you don't normally do it.
Speaker 3Yeah, you don't need it here.
Speaker 5Well, anyway, I rolled a 21 with my quarterstaff plus dose.
Speaker 3Okay, you do hit. That'd be funny as fuck, because after, right after I said that, I was like, yeah, miss.
Speaker 5Rolling damage 1d 8 plus 6, we got 13 Damage for my first attack.
Speaker 3Okay, that does it, and Damage alright, got it minus 13.
Speaker 5And then you know what I kind of feel like doing that again okay. Rolling on a plus 10. Ah, god damn, I rolled a 1.
Speaker 3So 11 is my attack roll that misses Motherfuck.
Speaker 5So that is my actions. Oh, but I get a bonus action.
Speaker 3You do get a bonus.
Speaker 5You all heard him. I get a bonus. You heard it here. You heard it.
Speaker 3Yeah, you heard, with third.
Speaker 5I'm going to actually do flurry of blows. I'm going to spend a ki point to flurry of blows. I'm gonna spend a key point to to flurry of blues. Okay, which is two unarmed strikes as a bonus action. So first, unarmed, 16 plus 8 is 24. That does it damage is a 3 plus 4 for 7 and then, second attack is a 9 or no, I'm sorry, 6 plus 8 for 14 that it's for 6 damage. Okay, and that will conclude my turn.
Speaker 3Alright, so. Okay, alright, so Fleshy 2. Alright, so Fleshy 2 is going to roll up. He bellows a roar and he runs up limping and you see bits of scales and fish parts roll off of him and he rolls up to Glenn.
Speaker 7And he takes 17 points of damage. Okay so I finally got a good roll, but not a really great role what kind of damage is that?
Speaker 3uh thunder okay, noisy, okay, um, and he is going to take two big old swipes at Glenn.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 3Glenn does a 17 hit.
Speaker 7Yes.
Speaker 3And does a nat 20 hit? No, no, oh interesting. Wow, that's crazy so fun. No, no, oh interesting.
Speaker 5Wow, that's crazy so fun.
Speaker 3That's wild. So, unless you have a feature that I don't know about, you probably do what is it? A natural 20 miss. Oh, interesting.
Speaker 7I name things good.
Speaker 2You can't kill me Feet.
Speaker 6Plot armor, plot armor.
Speaker 7Main character armor.
Speaker 3So, glenn, you're going to take a total of 19 points of damage, bludgeoning damage, so from two hits, two different hits.
Speaker 7yeah, whichever one is higher gets halved.
Speaker 3Okay, two hits, two different hits, yeah.
Speaker 7Whichever one is higher gets halved.
Speaker 3Okay, so that would be six, so you take so 14 points of damage.
Speaker 7What, how much did you say originally?
Speaker 319,. So it was 12 and 7. Originally 19, so it was 12. And7, oh so 6 and 7, 6 plus 7, so 13 points of damage okay, good, because that did that massive math.
Speaker 7I'm mad.
Speaker 3and then, um, you see, and then Let me see, you hear a loud voice saying Fire, fire, fire, and I need nines. Sam and Glenn, they roll me a perception. Check real quick.
Speaker 5So good at perception Are you? I'm going to percept the shit out of this with a 10 plus 7 for 17.
Speaker 4Okay, oh, that's not a button.
Speaker 6If only I had that passive perception 10.
Speaker 7Okay.
Speaker 6Oh wait.
Speaker 7Never mind Ha, we'll say 19 instead.
Speaker 6Is this a sight-based perception check?
Speaker 3It is sight.
Speaker 6Excellent. I have advantage on sight-based perception checks.
Speaker 7Which is ironic.
Speaker 2For the person with one eye.
Speaker 6I have both eyes. I just also have an eye patch.
Speaker 7Yeah, but it's covered. Glenn got a 19. Thankfully, I'm proficient in perception to an X the minimum of a 10. Sam got a 19. Thankfully, I'm proficient in perception to an x the minimum of a 10.
Speaker 6sam of a 23.
Speaker 3all right, so pull this back up so all three of you see a slight shimmer at the very west side of the wall of a disfigured creature in a cloak appear as he fires a fireball to encompass all of you. So I need you to Damn it.
Speaker 5Lana, you can tell by the telltale shimmer.
Speaker 3So I need you each to make me a deck save, and then he disappears once again. That is my strong hand.
Speaker 6I can see this fireball coming. Yes, I have advantage on deck saves when I can see the thing coming and I'm not wonderful acetate, blinded or deafened. Ok, I have convenient success with this particular set of fuckery. I have an 18 for San.
Speaker 4Okay, glenn, what up.
Speaker 6I don't have the thing that lets me dodge completely. But who cares? I'm raging 43.
Speaker 3Okay and 9? Nice, me dodge completely, but who cares, I'm raging. 23. Okay and nice. 19. Okay, each of you save. So that is 17 points of damage I decline yeah, I also declined.
Speaker 5Why?
Speaker 3Why is that?
Speaker 6Evasion. I don't have evasion, so I'll take 19 damage.
Speaker 7So evasion for our friends at home, when you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a dex saving throw, to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw and only half damage if you fail. So, sam, you half damage. You instead take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw and only half damage if you fail.
Speaker 3Okay, so, sam, you take damage. Oh, I did.
Speaker 6Hey, look at real good there's only 17 to Justin, 17 or not 19.
Speaker 5Yeah, I rolled a 19.
Speaker 6Oh shit. Thank you and.
Speaker 2Brandon is trying really hard to kill you guys. He's going to up the game a little bit, you guys, aren't you?
Speaker 3us guys? I am upping the game and you also see, I don't like that.
Speaker 5Probably us either.
Speaker 7Can't get rid of the circle. What circle? The green one the green one how did you do that?
Speaker 6I clicked it and then I moved it by dragging it and then there's a trash. Can? I clicked that and it deleted it.
Speaker 3I have the token browser selected ah, okay, that's what it was. Alright, so you see this green circle.
Speaker 6That's a square, that is a square.
Speaker 7I actually don't want a square If you push it hard enough, it'll go in a circle.
Speaker 3I mean, you know, it'll work, it'll work.
Speaker 2It's not actually you're not actually selecting the token browser. What you're doing is unselecting everything else by clicking the token browser.
Speaker 3It covers Monty over here.
Speaker 2Son of a.
Speaker 3Alright.
Speaker 4I react.
Speaker 2I react by doing nothing.
Speaker 7Did the flesh golems take damage?
Speaker 3The flesh golems did take damage.
Speaker 7But they're still standing.
Speaker 3They are still standing.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 6Does it look like they dodged any fireball?
Speaker 3There are bits of scales and fishtails and claws that are burning on various bits and pieces of their body, but they are still standing and they look angry.
Speaker 6So, since we saw this shimmering figure, can you tell us any more about what we saw?
Speaker 2Absolutely, I can.
Speaker 6We just saw a briefest little image of him.
Flesh Golem Battle and Retreat
Speaker 3Absolutely I can. We just saw a briefest little image of him. Yeah, so what? You see it looks peculiar and pretty unsettling. He looked tall for a humanoid figure, about six and a half feet tall. He's pretty thin, pale, sickly-looking skin. His eyes were sunken and he has a glazed far away look. He looks like he was contemplating or concentrating on something and he wore a dark cloak that contrasts pretty sharply with his skin tone.
Speaker 6Did we hear anything Like he might have moved? Possibly.
Speaker 3You did not hear that.
Speaker 7All you heard was fire, fire, fire all right and glenn, it is your turn okay, so glenn is gonna start with his bonus action.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 7And attack Fleshy 1 with his dagger. Okay, so I don't, since it's a bonus. You don't Offhand attack, you don't get your hit right, that's correct.
Speaker 3You don't get your bonus damage. You don't get your bonus damage.
Speaker 7Okay, so 17.
Speaker 4That does hit.
Speaker 7So he takes 4 points of damage.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 7Then Glenn will move to the south, around to the other side of Fleshy 2.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 7And then he will say kaboom and attack Fleshy 2 with his Reapier. Alright, his main attack Got an 18.
Speaker 4That does it 5.
Speaker 717. 5. So 27 points of damage all right, and then he will use, I guess, 25 feet of his movement, whatever's left.
Speaker 4Okay, all right over his left.
Speaker 3Okay, and.
Speaker 7Oops, alright, and We'll say I'm coming for you.
Speaker 3Just in general, or are you looking at any specific direction?
Speaker 7He's looking towards where Dory was Got it, even though Dory didn't do any damage to him. He did damage a friend of his.
Speaker 3True, all right, monty, I need you to roll me a con save.
Speaker 2You would. I would you have a plus one on this one? Yeah, take that. I got a three, a three, I rolled a two.
Speaker 3You fail, I would, you have a plus one on this one.
Speaker 2Yeah, take that, I got a three, a three. I rolled a two you fail, I fail, I need you to take. I'm just going to hold the up button a whole bunch.
Speaker 3I need you to take 32 points of damage. Wow, all right.
Speaker 2Okay, monty's kind of pissed that this poison keeps following him around the room and he's just like what the is going on here. He's livid, so he is going to rear up on these line of sights, on these two fleshies. I'm going to go ahead and use my sharpshooter feat and also my horde breaker, which is going to allow me to shoot two, one of them twice, the other one once. Um, which one's hurt the most?
Speaker 3uh, fleshy two is looking a little worse for wear.
Speaker 2A little worse for wear. Okay, so he's going to shoot twice at Flushy 1 and once at Flushy 2. Yeah, all right, so we'll start. We'll do two attacks at Flushy 1. That's going to be a minus 5 to that, so that's a 10. So that won't hit this one's a 22, so that won't hit.
Speaker 2This one's a 22, so it will hit. It does hit. I'll also do the damage for that guy before moving on to the next. He's gonna take 1d8 plus the cold damage. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, got my last one Total of 11. Oh, plus 10. Yeah, so it takes 21 damage 21 damage.
Speaker 3Alright, please describe how you kill fleshy 2 arrow through the neck.
Speaker 3Nothing, nothing hard about that oh, okay straight sideways through the neck, like yeah, so the arrow pierces his neck and you see that that was, that was fleshy, that's fleshy too that's fleshy too. We can do itleshy too. We can do it that way, that's fine. Okay, sorry, I thought that's what you said. That's my fault, it's okay. So you see him grasping at the arrow in his neck as he falls to the ground, and he just falls apart. The stitching falls to pieces and disintegrates and the various fish pieces and scales fall to the floor, making a sloshy mess.
Speaker 2Sweet Monty's thinking treats afterwards.
Speaker 6Here we go, a chummy mess.
Speaker 2Chummy mess, and so Fleshy won an attack roll of 12.
Speaker 3So just so. Everybody knows there's a little bit of slipperiness right around here.
Speaker 6Is that a combat effect or just a ickiness?
Speaker 3There's a bunch of fish there, fish and guts, if you were to step on it, you would probably slip. There's some improvised weapons right there, there could be improvised weapons, yes, so what did you say about fleshy one, maddie?
Speaker 2I attack roll of 12 12 that that hits, that hits, okay. So I was not expecting a 12 to hit, that's okay, uh, so I'll do one of those dice. One, oh man, seven. So a total of 17 damage to him. Okay, and I'm also going to mark him as my favorite foe, and that allows me to roll an additional d6 of damage. So let's throw that in there, 5 for a total of 22.
Speaker 322. Okay, nice hit.
Speaker 2Alright. So then, because he's just kind of pissed off, he's going to, uh, make our turn on, or, as my bonus action, I can become invisible using nature's veil. Okay, so I'm gonna do that. So I'm gonna disappear in the middle of the poison, and then I'm also going to use my feline agility to escape 60 feet to the north, putting me in the other corner of the room all right and I am invisible till the start of my next turn nice, all right.
Speaker 3So fleshy one is going to turn towards nines and he's gonna make a double hit. Do your fucking worst, there's a 21 hit. Damn it Make it through does a. Oh shit, there's a 22 hit. I Know it does. No, I know it does.
Speaker 5No, I know it does yes, I tried, so you are going to take there's my, there it is.
Speaker 3So you're gonna take a total of 19 points, all right, from 69 down to 50. Sam, it's your turn.
Final Showdown With Mr. Dory
Speaker 6Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I thought I was looking up Monty's stuff. I don't think it probably matters now, but I'm guessing that the past without trace is ended yes, it is ended yeah, favorite foe would have ended it okay, that's the conservation. Well, you took a bunch of damage too, so I was just trying to enforce it, you know, you know how I like them, or else? Okay, uh, sam, still raging. I'm going to start by another two-headed attack at fleshy dicky boy. Number one. With a two-headed attack, that's a 17 to hit.
Speaker 4That does it.
Speaker 6Okay, that damage is. I rolled a one again, so that's 7 plus 3 for 10 damage. Okay, that doesn't do it. Okay, so then I'll follow up with another as a horizontal left to right, right across the waist, and then, as I swing through, I'm going to full circle, take another swing and all the way around just keep swinging that axe. That's a 21 to hit.
Speaker 4That does hit.
Speaker 6Good, good, good, and this one is a better, alright. So a 6. 6 plus 6 plus 3 is 15 damage on that one. Alright, tell me how you kill Fleshy 1. So the first swing comes through and kind of like opens a little slit in the Fleshy's tummy. And then I take a second step and like follow through with that same attack along the same horizontal plane and just open it up all the way across the midriff. Uh, and it just all of its icky, stinky insides comes spilling out all over the place as it drops to the floor blood and icor. Because I was swinging left to right, the Blood and Icor goes towards Nines, but I mean, he's a monkey, he can probably dodge it. I'm not getting at him, but it's like that direction.
Speaker 6Maybe he slapped some fish out of the way, or something.
Speaker 3Yeah, so a bunch of Icor and fish parts fall to the ground and just cover this whole area right here, cool.
Speaker 6So Sam is pretty mad about getting hit by a fireball and, without thinking too much about it, she knows approximately where Homeless Life's bad guy, the wizard, maybe, is, and she's going to run right through this fresh bit of Icor trying to go up to approximately where she thought that castle was so, as you're running through that, I need you to give me an acrobatics check. Acrobatics. Okay, that's an eight.
Speaker 3Okay. So as you're running through, you do slip and fall, prone in the middle of the I-Core. Okay, can I? You do have enough movement to stand up where you are.
Speaker 6That would be half my movement. Could I then continue moving forward?
Speaker 3You can. How much movement do you have?
Speaker 640, so you would have another 10 feet of movement okay, so I will crawl the rest of the way out of the fish so I don't fall again, and then I will stand up and move 10 more feet, which I assume is approximately there. Correct, okay, and then for a bonus action, I would like to cast, use my storm aura at possibly disadvantage, without knowing where the bad guy is. Am I as far as I can go?
Speaker 4Yes, from here.
Speaker 6Okay, if I'm within 10 feet I'm going to try to use my storm aura to blast that bad boy with lightning. It doesn't say I have to see them. It says a creature of my choice in my aura. So if that guy is within 10 feet of me, I think he has.
Speaker 5I don't know like how do you choose the creature you can't see? It's still a creature there, uh yeah, I mean, you have a point.
Speaker 3So yeah, I mean you have a point, so I go off D&D based off Magic the Gathering rules, where you have to follow word by word, like the words matter, and so I will say that if he was within 10 feet of you, he would have to make it.
Speaker 4Okay, but he does not have to make it.
Speaker 6And my turn's over.
Speaker 5Okay, and so this is kind of the equivalent of a search action within his own area.
Speaker 3Alright, nines, you're up.
Speaker 4Hmm.
Speaker 5Well, there's only one. You're up, Uh so is there. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, so we have an invisible quarry Truth. Is there something?
Speaker 2Wait what you have? An invisible friend too, monty's invisible.
Speaker 3Yeah, Monty's also invisible.
Speaker 7Yeah, but he doesn't know that you're Monty.
Speaker 2How is that true? The dwarf is gone Um.
Speaker 5I don't really have anything that can help me.
Speaker 7I don't think to discover invisible people or so there's only one door in this room, right, correct?
Speaker 5Well yeah, in that case nines will post up back on the door, move the the 50 or so feet token browser ka-chow somewhere around there to uh, to protect, to prevent escape. And that will conclude my turn.
Speaker 3Alright, so so the green cloud of poison repossitions over Glenn and Sam. How far can that guy move it? He can reposition it up to let me see. You see, let me make sure I'm not fucking cheat here here. Oh, this is, I'm sorry. Uh, he cannot do it that far 30 feet, feet 23 feet. You don't have to tell me so your possessors it over to here and you hear another fire, fire, fire and another fireball. So, glenn, and actually all of you, give me a perception, check.
Speaker 6Glenn and actually all of you, give me a perception check.
Speaker 5So a site-based perception.
Speaker 6Yes, I'm tuning 10. Yeah, I got a 9. I pulled a 6 and a 7.
Speaker 2I am 11 All right 24 first.
Speaker 3Everybody that rolled over a 12, right 24. Everybody that rolled over a 12, none of us except for glenn sees, mr dory pop up here and throw a fireball towards sam and glenn.
Speaker 6My passive perception is 14. Does that count, or is that not? Is that, yep, okay?
Speaker 3so each of you need to roll me a deck save. Aha.
Speaker 7Only Glenn and.
Speaker 4Sam 25.
Speaker 6Okay, I cannot see this, ray.
Speaker 3No, you can see it coming at you.
Speaker 6Oh, oh, 14 and a 2, for a total of 16 alright, that does save.
Speaker 3So, sam, I mean, I guess you can choose to fail at Glenn, but each of you are going to take 17 points of damage no, thank you 17? Yes, and you see, and you see, oh, you see this creature make a movement with his hands, and then he is steady and he's still visible to everybody. Glenn, your turn.
Speaker 2Everybody, or just the people? I can see Everybody.
Speaker 4Everybody or just the people I can see on the map.
Speaker 7Everybody. Okay, ummm, yeah, so Glenn was gonna be friendly to him until he started chucking fireballs and poison spheres and all that kind of shit. So Glenn is going to dart forward and do what Glenn does With a kaboom. Yeah, with a kaboom, he will castcast. Well, I guess that is his cast. He will use his rapier.
Speaker 3Okay. So, glenn, as you start reaching, or as you go to stab him with your rapier, he falls to the ground and screams no, please, don't hurt me, please, I'm sorry. Do you continue with your attack?
Speaker 5Yes, I do, he sounds like that though. Yes, he does, he sounds like that though.
Speaker 3Yes, he does. He does sound like that, okay.
Speaker 7I literally saw him throwing the fireball right.
Speaker 3Correct, okay, yeah, all right, so he's.
Speaker 7Yeah, I Dude, chucked a fireball at me twice.
Speaker 3You rolled a 15 for an attack. Yeah, that does it.
Speaker 7Dude's not going to like this.
Speaker 5Throw another moon at me, I'm going to lose it 36 points of damage or no oh no, 14, 34, 42 points of damage.
Speaker 3Alright, so he your rapier goes 14, 34, 42 points of damage. Alright, so he, your rapier, goes through him easily and he daggers away, holding his stomach and pulls away from your sword and you hear him go and then he falls to the ground.
Speaker 7Is he dead?
Speaker 3He is no longer moving.
Speaker 7I think I've seen enough people die to know whether or not Does he look dead.
Speaker 3You cannot see any movement from his chest, from where you're at, and you can't see him breathing.
Speaker 6Does the poison cloud go away?
Speaker 3The poison cloud does disappear.
Speaker 6That's a good sign.
Speaker 7Well, I mean, he lost concentration.
Speaker 4Yeah. Which if he went unconscious. I'm sorry.
Speaker 7Go ahead and take a step forward and see if he's alive.
Speaker 3How do you check that he's alive?
Speaker 7He doesn't look. Human right.
Speaker 3He looks vaguely humanoid. I will put a photo of him in the chat. But his eyes are bulging. He is a tall, skinny individual with very pale skin. He's got some ichor and blood rolling from his mouth and you see a couple small worm-like creatures crawling in and out of his body, or in and out of his head.
Speaker 4Uh.
Speaker 7Did the combat music stop?
Speaker 4Are we all?
Speaker 2free to move about the room now.
Speaker 7No, so Glenn will not check to see if he's dead. He will be watching him with a readied action of telekinetic shove bonus action.
Speaker 2Can you?
Speaker 7ready a bonus action.
Speaker 3I don't think you can ready a bonus action. I think you can only ready an action I don't remember. My quick Google search says you can only ready an action.
Speaker 7Okay, then I'm watching him and I will say out loud I think he's dead, alright, with a shrug and a question mark on the end of it.
Speaker 3So combat has ended, you can all move around freely.
Speaker 6Can Slim smash the table before ending rage? Absolutely, give me an exact roll.
Speaker 3Smash that table freely can slam, smash the table before ending rage.
Speaker 7Absolutely, give me the exact smash that table it's a big table, 15 foot table is now.
Speaker 2I'm a big sam in a 20 foot table. That's uh.
Speaker 7Yeah, that makes it easier right the larger it is easier to hit, whether or not damage, but no, I mean yeah, you, you easily, you easily smash this in half. Easier to hit, whether or not damaged, but no, I mean easier to grab, yeah you easily smash this in half, Sam.
Speaker 3You take a good chunk out of this table. Obviously it doesn't split directly in two, but a huge part of it is broken. You can see fractures going all up and down the wood, Several splints and wood just gets sent everywhere in the room.
Speaker 6So as my axe passes through that thing and I kind of like ready my like I pull my axe about, I don't Take my second attack, I just take deep breath and breathe it out and then before, before I let go of my rage, I do bonus action lighting the table Also, just for good measure. Okay, uh, does your table?
Speaker 3make a deck save, okay, uh, does your table make a deck save? Uh, the table does not make a deck save. But you see some, some cool burned features in the wood start splitting out from where the wood is, we're lighting it and it starts uh it, it starts burning several different lightning spheres all around in a circular arc, all through the way.
Speaker 2It creates a map to.
Speaker 3It creates a map. No, it does not. Alright, so, glenn, you got the kill, so you get first action. What do you want to do?
Speaker 7So Glenn is going to say I think he's dead, I'm not sure, and ready it's a bonus action, but he's going gonna ready an action of telekinetic shove understood and if, if boy does any, if Dory does anything, he's gonna get shoved into the opposite wall okay uh, monty will come out of invisibility and he's gonna walk over to where Mr Dory is while he'sibility.
Speaker 2And he's going to walk over to where Mr Dory is. While he's doing that, he's going to cast a third level cure wounds on himself. When he does that, he just holds his hand up and creates a little heart. Then he kind of pushes that heart into his chest, giving himself back 13 health points. Then, immediately after he does that, he is going to cast the spell again. And as he's walking up to Glen and Mr Dorvies and say, do we need to question him? Should I wake him back up with this one?
Speaker 7Glen says I've already taken my action for this round.
Speaker 4Mm-hmm.
Mr. Dory's Corpse Cleanup and Findings
Speaker 7Actually nice uh, no it just has a ready to action and he's just very much concentrating on Saying if this guy is gonna stand up or move or do anything. If this guy is going to stand up or move or do anything tech related.
Speaker 2He looked at Sam and he said Sam, tie him up and I will bring, I'll resuscitate him.
Speaker 6I can do that.
Speaker 2Let's have a conversation with Mr.
Speaker 5Nines will put his hand on Monty's shoulder and say, hey, I don't know how to tell you this, but he's dead. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 6Sam's going to roll this person body face down and then pull the cloak up and hog, tie him Hands together, feet together, and then like pull the cloak up and hog, tie him hands together, feet together, and then a rope between the two and then back to the side yeah, as you're rolling it to the side you, you hear a loud as gas escapes from his ass so he didn't shit himself, he's just just farting, that's fine, he's alive. He's still alive, he's alive.
Speaker 5That's the death rattle.
Speaker 3That's the death rattle.
Speaker 5That's how you know he's gone Okay.
Speaker 2I've seen it too many times. After that's done, Monty is going to go ahead and give him four points of health.
Speaker 3So you're going to cast what Level 1?
Speaker 7on Dory.
Speaker 2Mr Dory the undead guy.
Speaker 3He does not move at all.
Speaker 6I want to point out that Sam's at less than 50% HP and chose to heal the dead enemy. But that's cool, you know we're good. So, it's plenty of health. Don't get me wrong 64 is pretty good.
Speaker 2Upon seeing that it clearly didn't work and he is, in fact, dead, monty is just going to be like, well, he had what you had coming to him so you have cast three level one spell slots then oh no, that was only one. I've only done one level one. Oops, I thought I clicked it there we go. Would you cure, cure, oh I have to do that one and I cured myself at the third level ah, okay after you?
Speaker 2Oh none, that's right. Yeah, I haven't done. Only dead people get the cure wounds, got it Yep. I'm down one third second and one of my firsts.
Speaker 3Guys, is there anything you want to do?
Speaker 5No, I don't think so. It's late enough and I'm tired enough that I'm just kind of hanging on.
Speaker 3We're just wrapping up. Right now, another ten minutes.
Speaker 2Monty, out of frustration, is like well, that was a waste, he's just going to storm off. And he's going to kick Mr Dory going out of the poison thing you mean the corpse storm off and he's going to kick Mr Dory going out of the poison thing, you mean the corpse, the corpse that was formerly known as Mr Dory. That's now tied up. Apparently they do, but then he's also going to go down here and check out these pile of fish, because he's kind of curious what these things were Give me an.
Speaker 3Give me an investigation. Roll there, monty, oh actually I'm sorry. I'm sorry it'd be, it'd be perception my bad oh, perception, okay, uh, it's even worse.
Speaker 2I have a plus six to it. It wasn't eight. It's even worse. I have a plus six to it. It wasn't eight.
Speaker 3That's enough, Alright. So, Monty, as you're going through the pile of fish and guts, Maybe he's just looking for a snack. You find a small dagger with runes carved on it. On the side of the handle it says Dadger, dadger, dadger, d-a-d-g-e-r.
Speaker 4Okay.
Speaker 2So Monty's going to reach down and pick up this Dadger thing, kind of hold it out, because it probably is covered in ick.
Speaker 3It is covered in a lot of ick.
Speaker 2And he's going to turn back to Glenn and he said, would you clean this thing up for me real quick? And kind of walks back over to Glenn, knowing he is really good at cleaning stuff.
Speaker 7So I'll let Justin go first.
Speaker 6Yeah, justin, I was just going to say does this door over here open inward, or into this room or away from this room?
Speaker 3It opens into the room.
Speaker 6All right, while Monty's over here doing this, sam's going to take this chair that I moved this icon to and just make sure we don't get manticored by the door. So, I'm going to prop that door up and block it.
Speaker 7Shut uh for our, our protection okay, great, glenn, you're next okay, so glenn will be walking by as he walks past monty, he will just touch it, cast prestidigitation to clean it and, uh, continue walking over the door and kind of look at Sam and then lock the door.
Speaker 3Okay, sam Sharks, sam Sharks.
Speaker 6We got in.
Speaker 3Whatever?
Speaker 6man, it doesn't fucking stop anybody.
Speaker 7I'm awesome. Nobody else is.
Speaker 5Nines. Nines will comment I think it's really neat that they let somebody who is so ugly be a counselor.
Speaker 7That's just really Open minded open minded that's so that's really just like very hmm, you know so Glenn nods and says yeah, so there's hope for ya oh no I.
Speaker 5If this is what it takes to be a counselor, I'm not qualified where's the door? On the east side yeah.
Speaker 3I was just going to say, with the door locked, with the comments made, glenn is going to look for any kind of clues but I'm sure that we want a break before going over anything we find, so we can start serving real quick, just so we know where we're going next session and then we'll stop it there.
Speaker 5To be clear, though, Counselor Dory looks like a fucking zombie, right.
Speaker 3Yeah, that's what a skoom looks like but he looks undead as a motherfucker.
Speaker 5Yeah, maggots crawling out of his mouth like just doesn't look great, not just.
Speaker 3Yeah, he was one shot all right, yeah, so who was searching mr Dory and who is searching the rest of the room?
Speaker 7Glenn doesn't want to touch Mr Dory, so he would be searching the room.
Speaker 4Yeah, Nines would be on, dory yeah.
Speaker 2Monti would be on the room then All right.
Speaker 3So, nines, you find a map on Mr Dory, so it's a small piece of paper or parchment that shows a small island about a half a mile off the coast, with a lighthouse on it, and it's marked as Therizdun's Temple, therizdun, therizdun's Temple. I'm sorry, therizdun, therizdun's temple, I'm sorry, therizdun's temple.
Speaker 5Therizdun being the god, was he the one that was the cultist worship? Correct, yeah, okay, so there's a map to Therizdun's temple On this parchment.
Speaker 3And a small note that says oh hold up One second.
Speaker 5It's fine, because I know it's fine. Nines is to say this guy has nothing, just some trash he's going to be ready to like. All right, can you all hear me?
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 5Throw the map into the fire.
Speaker 3All right, and so there's also a note on there that says this is not nothing.
Speaker 2Don't throw it into the fire.
Speaker 3There's also a note that says that says three weeks until full birth.
Speaker 5Nines will relay the information to the rest of the group, but we'll comment that it means nothing and that it should probably be ignored what do you mean? It means nothing yeah, like pregnancies take way longer than three weeks. It's obvious like just weird Nothing.
Speaker 7It didn't say that it started today and is gonna be done in three weeks.
Speaker 5Yeah, but it kind of implied it though, didn't it?
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 5Let's be clear, can we get through that.
Speaker 2Can I see what you're looking at, God?
Speaker 7I'm glad there's not a fireplace. Can I see what you're looking at? God?
Speaker 5I'm glad there's not a fireplace there might be there are no fireplaces now, anyway, this guy's not giving birth to anyone as dead as he is, so this was a dead end. Ha Ha.
Speaker 4Get it.
Speaker 2Can I see what it is you found?
Speaker 5Yeah, and Nines is going to share around the notes freely.
Speaker 3But Nines. You also find 120 gold pieces on Mr Dory.
Speaker 5Maybe he was going to travel somewhere.
Speaker 3Maybe not everything was worthless, so you can go ahead and add that to your inventory if you're gonna pick it up um, nines will yeah, nines will take it and say I don't think the undead need this, right.
Speaker 5Okay, it's logical, though it makes sense. Everyone's with me on this.
Speaker 2Yeah, of course You're fine. What was the other thing, though? Monty's holding out his hand?
Speaker 5Oh, like the notes.
Speaker 3The notes in the back.
Speaker 5Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, giving it up easily, doesn't think it's going to amount to much?
Speaker 2Monty will hold on to it until next time.
Speaker 3Okay, monty, you find one, and then Glenn and Sam. You each find two rubies, each worth 500 gold pieces. So please add two rubies to Sam and Glenn's inventory and one ruby to Monty's inventory.
Speaker 5Wait, shit, what was my? What 128?
Speaker 3128 gold, 128. Gold pieces. Alright, so With next episode, I'm gonna assume so you have a map. I'm not gonna assume anything. You guys have a map to Therizdun's temple and plenty of gold. And just so I don't forget, monty, you picked up the dadger, which is a dagger with plus two attack and every time you're wielding it and attack you get a. You say a pun or dad joke All creatures within 20 feet of you take 1d6 psychic damage. All creatures, all creatures.
Speaker 2I'll never use it, thanks. Thanks for the magical item. Can I call it the Harvey Dagger? Sure, I'll call it the Harvey Dagger. So a dad joke and everybody takes 1d6.
Speaker 3A dad joke or a pun? Yes, Okay.
Speaker 6How much?
Speaker 3damage 1d6.
Speaker 2Nice 10 foot radius.
Speaker 3No, no, no. All creatures within 20 feet 20 foot radius yeah. So basically anybody that can hear your terrible joker pun will take 1d6 psychic damage.
Speaker 2Oh, including allies.
Speaker 3Including allies.
Speaker 5All creatures, that's why, yeah.
Speaker 7Including himself.
Speaker 3Correct, oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry, not him.
Speaker 6That's really important.
Speaker 3No, no, no, Monty does not take damage from his own joke.
Speaker 7We're fine, all right. Is there a saving throw?
Speaker 3No saving throw All right Fair enough.
Speaker 7So two rubies to Glenn, two rubies to Sam, one ruby to Monty. Monty got a dagger. We have the map to Therizin's island with a note, as well as Nine's got some gold. Yep, I didn't catch how much. It doesn't matter, he can keep track of it.
Speaker 3All right Sam.
Speaker 6I had two questions, uh. One is about the ruby, uh, which, looking through our inventory, I'm only seeing them worth 5 000 gold each. I just I made a note. Does it matter? These are small rubies okay, so each one is worth approximately 500 gold pieces I was curious about the uh bonus action versus action thing for like readying an action, because I mean, if you can ready a full action, why wouldn't you be able to ready a bonus action?
Speaker 3so I don't know if it applies but you, you can ready an action or a bonus action, but if you've already taken your action for the turn, you cannot ready an action or a bonus action afterwards I agree with that.
Speaker 6The bonus the ready in action is your full regular action, so you can ready either.
Speaker 7But the readying is an action, so anything under that is fine, right you can use your ready in action for an action or a bonus action yeah, absolutely cool, but if you've already taken, your it, which was the case when I. But if you've already taken your, which was the case when I said it, I'd already taken my action and I was trying to ready a bonus action on the same turn.
Speaker 6Okay, I think I must have missed that first part. I've been looking for that for a while because I'm really interested. It didn't make sense, but okay best.
Speaker 3All right, any other questions before we end it?
Speaker 7You said birth in three weeks, right.
Speaker 3Yes.
Speaker 7Is it B-E-A-R-T-H or B-I-R-T-H?
Speaker 3B-I-R-T-H. Okay, good question.
Speaker 7Maybe there's a ship spot opening up and the guy's really been wanting this specific parking spot. Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, he's got a ship that's just floating up here in the air. Maybe he wants a parking spot.
Thank You and Follow Us
Speaker 3Alright, so that is where we're going to end it for the night. I want to say thank you to everybody for following us, giving us ideas. It means a lot to us. Make sure you check us out on Facebook and give us a like and a follow at facebookcom. Slash ADNDstory. Follow us on Twitter or X at ADDstory2. Follow us on. Check us out on Instagram. Instagramcom. Slash ADNDstory. And finally, if you want to find more content, you know, follow us and back us at patreon. At patreoncom. Slash ADNDstory. If you like all the sound effects and music that you've heard for this episode in the last 30, or sorry, 70 or 80 episodes, check out Sirenscape at sirenscapecom. I use it for all of my in-person sessions as well. It really sets the mood. And, um, justin, did you have something?
Speaker 6Uh, only about the bonus action thing again, because now I found something contrary to you. I'm sorry. Keep going, okay, okay.
Speaker 3And Maddie, if you want to take us out tonight.
Speaker 2Are we sure we don't want to finish A bonus action thing before we end the episode? It's been ner. We end the episode.
Speaker 3It's been nerdy everybody it's been nerdy, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2Bye nerdy I can't help it. That was great, justin.
Speaker 7That was that was all right, justin just so you know you can Toys for love, break the rules. Toys, saddles, don't stop me, thank you, oh my God.