A D&D Story
We are a Podcast playing DND 5E. A homebrew campaign filled with adventures, misadventures, love and punishing the stupid. A brand new Dungeon Master builds a world for far more experienced players as they navigate through the various dangers. Recommended for ages 18 and up.
A D&D Story
Episode 80: Shadows in the Deep: A Maritime Mystery Unfolds
Fresh from their victory against a Kraken in the depths, our adventurers have reached level 12 and are ready to sail toward new horizons aboard the Aquaholic. Captain Dadalorian, a Warforged with a detective's cap and commanding presence, leads a curious crew that includes a gelatinous cube chef and a beautiful Aasimar chaplain. But what starts as a routine voyage quickly darkens when a half-starved Tiefling is rescued from a drifting lifeboat.
The party's shopping excursion before departure showcases their personalities perfectly—Monty acquires enhanced leather armor (with "nipple flaps" thanks to Nines' mischievous intervention) and a Shield of Emberguard, while Glenn demonstrates his persuasive talents to secure the captain's quarters for a night. Meanwhile, Mhors enhances his magical prowess and befriends the ship's first mate with promises of wind magic assistance beneath the stars.
so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so so so Make sure I delete this.
Speaker 3:You can leave notes for yourself, but I can't leave notes for you.
Speaker 2:Well, I do the editing Bullshit. If you would like to do the editing, I'm fine with it. I rescind my argument. Welcome a dnd story. I am bernie, the irish wiki, and with me today is bill hello this is bill I play glenn half health rogue swashbuckler and energy. No, yeah, you're, I'm really feeling it. You did just meet level 12, bill. What did you take at level 12?
Speaker 4:No, I decided that, being a rogue, I didn't have enough skills or expertise, so I decided to go with Master Skilled. Hold on, I forget the name of it. It is called Skill Expert. So what that does is it basically gives me I can choose a stat as well as I can choose a stat. I chose charisma. I can choose a skill to get proficiency in. I chose persuasion, and then I can choose a skill to get proficiency in. I chose persuasion, and then I can choose a skill to get expertise in, and I again chose persuasion. So I am now an expert persuasionist probably not a word um, with a bonus to my. The Charisma bonus put me to 18.
Speaker 4:So I now have a plus 4 to my Charisma and also gives me a Be Anonymous Watchbuckler. Charisma also contributes to my initiative, as well as my bonuses to the spell traits that I've picked up. They're all based around different charisma spellcasters, so the charisma bonus helps in many things that Glenn does. Plus he likes talking shit and being charismatic, so that is what I took.
Speaker 2:And Maddy.
Speaker 5:Hi everybody, I'm Maddy. I play Montoya Inigo, the Arctic Tabaxi Ranger, and for my level 12 level up, I took Mario. When I eat wild brown or red mushrooms, I grow in size. If I eat wild flowers, I can spit fireballs from my mouth.
Speaker 2:Okay, I know we started the whole whole dnd podcast about me not knowing what's going on, but uh, pretty sure that's not a feat. That'd be a cool feat if it were okay uh, what I actually took was speedy.
Speaker 5:Uh, this gave me plus 10 to my overall speed, uh gave me a point in constitution and uh it gave me the disadvantage on um opportunity tax appropriation when you say underlay no, um, it gave me a disadvantage on opportunity attacks, which I already had.
Speaker 5:So I kind of reordered my feats and allowed myself to have. So I kind of reordered my feats and allowed myself to have disadvantage on multi-attacks. So if I'm ever swung at from another creature, or if a creature performs multiple attacks against me, each subsequent attack per turn gives me a plus four to my AC.
Speaker 2:Nice, so the first one goes through normal, but after that it's a plus four, yeah, which would have been very helpful in this Kraken battle.
Speaker 5:It would have been, or Monty would have, so that's why I thought it was a pretty worthwhile feat for taking for Monty, hence the story that's unfolded so far.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely All right. And Brandon, oh hi, I'm Brandon.
Speaker 3:I mean hi, brandon, I'm Brandon, I mean hi, brandon, I'm Brandon, brandon Brandon. And I play Nines, the male high elf monk, who is now level 12 and is very proud of it.
Speaker 3:Did you take anything special? Actually, yes, two things. One, I took the ability, ability improvement, ability stat improvement, uh. So my dexterity is now a cool 20 for plus five. I know it's a little op, but also, uh, as part of a little bit of nines's character development, I decided to increase his charisma by one point, still leaving him at a negative one as a modifier. But that's 5% less awkward bud. So one out of 20 times when I was gonna say something stupid, I'll just stop myself.
Speaker 1:That's a good point.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's Nines' character development.
Speaker 2:And now with as a Monk and that dexterity, you got a 21 AC. That is nuts. Yeah, I like it Very nice. And last and certainly not least, justian Hi Brendan.
Speaker 6:Hello Justin, hi everybody, I'm Justin and I'm playing Mors, the High Elf Wizard. He also earned level 12 today. I gave him two more intelligence, which brings him up to a whopping 20 for all of the spell saves, I guess, and didn't know any more spells. I also play Sam sometimes. I also play Sam sometimes and for Sam we took Great Weapon Master, which if I kill something I get to take a second attack as a bonus action, and if I give myself minus 5 to attack rolls, it adds plus 10 to the damage, much like what Monty's bow thingy does. And yep, that's what we got.
Speaker 2:Okay, alright. Well, we appreciate everybody following us, liking us, giving us ideas. It means a lot to us. Make sure you're following us on social media. At facebookcom, slash ADNDstory, retweet us on Twitter or. Ex at ADDstory2. And follow us on Instagram at instagramcom slash ADNDstory. All right, let's roll for some recap. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh, why you guys are doing that. The maps in D&D Beyond finally has an encounter. Which do you call it? Feature Generator? No encounter tracker.
Speaker 6:Oh initiative, tracker Initiative tracker.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what it was.
Speaker 5:Oh, what is an encounter tracker, an initiative tracker, initiative tracker yeah, that's what it was. Oh, what is an encounter tracker?
Speaker 2:An encounter tracker. That's what I'm going to throw, six or seven of these things at you once, nine to the seven, monti to the five, glenn 16.
Speaker 5:I had a 19 in our other roll.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I had a five in the other one. Well, I'll trade you.
Speaker 5:There you go.
Speaker 1:Alright, let me pull up some.
Speaker 5:So episode 79. There we were Neck deep in water, actually, I think all the way deep. Yeah, we were definitely swimming underwater. So that was the big Kraken fight. We fought a Well, no, I guess the kraken fight had ended and now we were just beating up Skogoth, which was the aboleth that was trying to raise the kraken. So essentially, we had a very, very Probably one of the tougher fights that I think this party has ever come up against. Uh, not to mention, it was underwater, which made it extra difficult for some of our stuff that didn't work, like bows and arrows, and Bill's or sorry, glenn's ability to actually move around, um, which he kind of needs for what he does, um, but anyway, and I couldn um and I could anyway either what's that?
Speaker 4:I couldn't use my sword either oh you couldn't use this.
Speaker 5:Yeah sure you couldn't use this word, yeah. So the, the water, the water. Combat was not not easy on us. Um, I remember monty uh came pretty close to dying like all the way out. Um, but we managed through it. We got some pretty good loot from it. Um, I got some abelis scales. Uh, glenn got a trident of the deep. Um, bonti, for some reason I think, stuck his arm in the the kraken and got a mark is that how that happened? In his mouth. How did the mark happen?
Speaker 2:I forget no, he just he punched him and as uh, when he punched him, the kraken shot a jolt of electricity up uh nine's arms that was nine, just talking about monty.
Speaker 5:How did monty get the mark applied to him?
Speaker 2:oh, I don't recall. I just know that he's been branded.
Speaker 5:There's a note there. When he sticks his arm into the Aboleth's mouth, you get the mark of the Kraken, yeah, and it kind of looks like a Moana type symbol. Why did Monty?
Speaker 4:stick his arm into the Kraken's mouth. Why does Monty do half the shit Monty does?
Speaker 5:He was compelled to I wonder. Yeah, no idea. Anyway, mors gets the rod of the Kraken, so he steals the Kraken's penis, I'm pretty sure, from a pile of rubble.
Speaker 6:I'm not clear what that does yet it's a sex toy Nice.
Speaker 3:Nice.
Speaker 5:And that's kind of you know. We end the fight there, we go back to the Bard Rock Cafe Good one, guys, Nice name and we meet up with Thornwell. Her and Nines did it, I think. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not sure what happened.
Speaker 4:As far as the party is concerned. That's what happened.
Speaker 2:Brandon, do you want to elaborate, because I took extensive notes during this.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, how many notes.
Speaker 5:Long and distinguished.
Speaker 3:Too many.
Speaker 2:I'm a little ashamed of it.
Speaker 3:What I have written is that Thornwell gave Nines her key and then we all went and long rested Nines borrowed the Kraken sex toy from Mors Counselor Thornwell basically threw herself at nines and nines. Uh was either oblivious to her her coming ons or was just didn't, was not interested yeah, uh, I think either oblivious and or forgot or was like interested, like oh, I can put my key in there and I can just just slide it in there and unlock the Ooh, I can also take a stat improvement.
Speaker 5:Well, we'll let the listeners figure out for themselves what they felt. Like happened. Yep and after that.
Speaker 1:Let us know.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and let us know what you think happened between Nines and Thornwell. Maybe they played like happened, yep, yep. And after that, let us know, yeah, and let us know what you think happened between Nines and Thornwell. Maybe they played checkers. We'll never know. Doesn't know how to play checkers. After that we all boarded a boat that was awaiting the docks for us. The captain was the Dadalorian. We had breakfast, we earned a level. We know the ship is capable of battle, but apparently taking us on our way to the crystal deep, dead pelt shadows the crystal deep is the water you're traveling through to get to dead Pelt.
Speaker 2:Shadows. There we go, yeah. So a couple notes. Anybody remember what the ship's name is called? The Aquaholic, the Aquaholic, oh boy.
Speaker 4:So I want to elaborate a little bit on the fight. A little bit, not a lot. Go for it. It was not just the toughest fight. Multiple party members were downed at different times.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm well known among various circles for going down for no reason Except for on Councilor Thornwell. I stayed true to that.
Speaker 4:Except for on Councilor. Yeah, I can't remember who all was downed, but I know I do know that, uh, that nines went down um did glenn I can't even remember glenn did go down yeah, glenn went down and maybe mont, I think everybody except for everybody except for except for Mors. Mors pretty much brought people back a couple of times using his staff.
Speaker 5:What's funny about that?
Speaker 3:Nines almost got charmed, that's true.
Speaker 4:Monti did get charmed.
Speaker 5:I did and Monti did absolutely nothing the entire fight, except get knocked down and then revived and knocked down and deprived and was just getting beat down. And then, the one time I got to make an attack, I think I stabbed him with the dadger and had to make sure I didn't tell a joke, otherwise I would have killed the entire party, because we're all in single digits. Yeah, we're all in single digit health and that somehow killed Dabaleth. One stab of the dad gear.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 4:The other note I have is Deadpelt Shadows is home to a lot of strong Lycans Yep.
Speaker 2:Lycanthropes.
Speaker 3:And I think we're talking about the vegetation that grows on rocks.
Speaker 5:Yeah, turns into wolves at night.
Speaker 4:From moss to wolves and got some blood and meat. That's what breakfast was. Marinated Kraken. Filet Clint put a lot of time and effort into that, and you just said breakfast Thanks.
Speaker 2:So a couple of things during your long rest. We didn't really get to go over it last time because we were wrapping up and we finished kind of late. So, glenn, the Trident of the Deep, it allows the wielder. Sorry, not the welder. You had to be a wielder, not a welder.
Speaker 4:I can weld now.
Speaker 2:It allows the wielder to control A aquatic creature Of medium or smaller size Once per short rest. Wielder to control a aquatic creature of medium or smaller size once per short rest for up to 10 minutes. And if you're in the water and attack with it, it provides a bonus to your or it gives you advantage on your attack rolls.
Speaker 4:So does it give proficiency.
Speaker 2:Yes, it does, monty.
Speaker 4:I'm sorry, you said advantage while underwater.
Speaker 2:In the water. Yes, monty, the Mark of the Kraken. It gives the bear the ability to breathe underwater and you gain swimming speed equal to your walking speed. Alright, you're immune to the effects of deep sea pressure and you can see speed equal to your walking speed, all right you're immune to the effects of deep sea pressure and you can see clearly underwater, even in darkness nice and once for long rest yes, and once for long rest, you can use the spell control water without needing the material components control water okay andse Rod of the Kraken.
Speaker 2:The rod allows the wielder to summon a minor water elemental or cast control water once per short rest.
Speaker 6:One of the two.
Speaker 2:One of the two? Yes.
Speaker 4:You think the control is once a day right.
Speaker 2:Correct Once per long rest Okay, so effectively. Yes, as Once per long rest Okay, so effectively, yes.
Speaker 4:As long as I long rest. Well, I don't know how weapon is affected by me resting, but Alright.
Speaker 2:So, yes, you are currently standing in front of the Aquaholic with the Dadalorian as a captain. He has already been given notice from Counselor Thornwell that he is to transport you to Dead Petal Shadows Free passage. He only asks that you stay out of his. Sorry, we'll get into that in a second. Any questions before we begin? Alright, cool, cool, here we go. Dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun. Alright.
Speaker 2:So the Dadalorian, who is a six dun dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun. Friends, I have been told that I am to provide transport for you and your companions to Deadpelt Shadows.
Speaker 4:This is the Datalorian talking.
Speaker 2:Correct.
Speaker 4:Yes, he's a Warforged.
Speaker 2:He's a Warforged.
Speaker 5:Does he have one arm that can go out really really far and grab things and bring them back?
Speaker 2:You don't know that, but he does have a weird detective looking cap that may have a propeller underneath.
Speaker 4:So we know his name is Dadalorian right.
Speaker 2:Yes, councilor Throneworld did tell you that.
Speaker 4:So Glenn steps up and says Thanks, I really appreciate you taking us to Deadpelt Shadows. Is there anything you need us to do while we're here? I'm pretty good at stuff. I can help out as we're going.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm sure my crew wouldn't mind assistance. We are down to one cook in the kitchen, my other is not feeling well and I had to leave him ashore, and there are plenty other chores to be done among the ship. If you would like to assist, oh, I can definitely help cook.
Speaker 4:I'm hoping that you left him here, Not on some shore somewhere, because he was feeling unwell. Help cook. I'm hoping that you left him like here, Not like on some shore somewhere, because he was feeling unwell.
Speaker 2:Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha. Of course, I have left him here.
Speaker 4:Cool, which one of these cabins is mine?
Speaker 2:Oh, the only single cabin is my cabin. That is not for you.
Speaker 4:Huh Huh, there is a hammock.
Speaker 2:Save the city Under.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:All right. Under what.
Speaker 4:Not my city. You said there's a hammock under.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there is a hammock below decks, just one. No, I would not make you share. There is one for each of you.
Speaker 4:All right all right, so sure I can't talk you out of that room.
Speaker 2:What would you say to him to try to convince him?
Speaker 4:So I really want to improve the operations on your ship by helping your cookout. But if I can't stay in my, if I don't have like a good amount of rest so that I can rest before going to work in the galley, then I might not be able to perform my best and I may not, you know, give you my best. I mean, I'll definitely do a decent job, but I would make, I would be able to do way better if I have my own room.
Speaker 2:All right, give me a persuasion roll, glenn 25. So Datalorian looks at you and says you may have it the first night. Any night after that it is mine.
Speaker 4:Alright, alright. I appreciate that I appreciate that Also.
Speaker 2:I'm sure I showed it to all you guys. Look at it.
Speaker 3:It's very cool. It's pretty cool. Is that leather in the bottom? I don't know that. I've seen this.
Speaker 2:It's leather in the bottom. Yeah, I don't know that. I've seen this. It's leather in the bottom.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he sent a link to it or he sent a picture of it.
Speaker 2:And there's like little dice.
Speaker 3:I mean I've slept since then. That's fair.
Speaker 2:That's your official Battle. Coliseum dice. I love it Alright.
Speaker 6:Is that a company?
Speaker 2:What's that? It is a company on Etsy. Ah, all right, is there? So the datalorian looks at all of you and says we will be casting off in one hour. If there's anything you'd like to do in the city prior to that, please come back before then. The ship does not wait.
Speaker 3:Nines is going to check himself to make sure that he has everything and he's going to pull out that key and be like oh no, I have to return this to her.
Speaker 5:No, I have to return this to her From kind of what we've seen going to and from the boat, like what's in the near vicinity or area that we could potentially reach within an hour and be back in time.
Speaker 2:Okay, hold up. I want to back up for a second. Nines just said he's going to try to return a key to Counselor Thornwell. Nobody says anything to him, You're just like okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 5:Nines. Things must have went really well with you last night. If you want to go see her again, hey, buddy.
Speaker 3:No, I just need to return the key.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you do. Did you not give her the key last night? And he winks.
Speaker 3:No, I still have it. It's in my.
Speaker 4:Did you not give her the key last night and he winks no, I still have it, it's in my hand still. Oh, obviously I didn't know. In your hand, so she wasn't, you had to take care of her with your hand. Yes, okay.
Speaker 3:Glenn, I take care of myself with my hands all the time, okay.
Speaker 1:So she gave you.
Speaker 3:Why is this? I'm'm just gonna give her the key back. Okay, did she?
Speaker 5:she gave you the key. I mean, that is, that's what happened.
Speaker 3:No, we're confusing me. What is happening here?
Speaker 5:You dug you.
Speaker 3:Much you dog, you A wolf would Monty.
Speaker 1:Please Cicero, what if she needs her?
Speaker 5:She's been outside of her room this entire time. Do you want some company back? I will go with you. Nines, if you'd like to return the key to Torval.
Speaker 3:Wait, do you think if I close my eyes and wish real hard, I can just throw this straight to her?
Speaker 5:You can try. Monty just kind of wants to seize him.
Speaker 2:I think that might be enough to convince him. Nines, give me an insight.
Speaker 3:check, I'm pretty smart, I rolled a 10 plus 7 for 17.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, so you know that Monty is taking the piss out of you right now.
Speaker 3:Come on, monty. You know the buildings are in the way. Get out of here. Come on, I'll go with you, my friend.
Speaker 5:You shouldn't venture off by yourself. I would be happy to go with you. If you really want to go, return the key, but we shall not miss our boat, guys.
Speaker 3:we should not miss our boat, guys, we'll be right back. And then, uh, nine's going to take off at a sprint into the city, holding the key over his head and yelling out for a counselor.
Speaker 2:Uh, does Monty take off with him?
Speaker 5:Uh, yeah, yeah, He'll follow, he's follow, he's. He's gonna be like not sprinting to keep up with him, but keeping him within eyesight and walking quickly. Yes, okay uh.
Speaker 2:To answer your question, maddie, uh, there are the typical stores. You know. There's a magic store for magic supplies, uh, armor, there is a, uh, basic weapons store and general, what you would find blacksmith, a leather. They're not called leather. What are they called? Tanner? Thank you, tanner. And basic cooking supplies if you're interested in that. So if there's a shop specifically that you're looking for, let me know the on the way back.
Speaker 5:Uh, monty will stop by the. Yeah, uh, tanners, and he's got leather armor that he'd love to see. If maybe he can be upgraded, I don't know, is that a thing?
Speaker 4:uh, we can talk about that for sure glenn will, uh, probably check out the food store and the magic store if he has time.
Speaker 6:We'll walk with Glenn Probably some potions or something, maybe All right.
Speaker 2:So in this order, nines, you successfully went back to the Bard Rock Cafe and you return the key to Counselor Thornwell, that's too normal.
Speaker 3:As soon as he sees her, Nines is gonna fucking just fling it at her Pelter right in the chest Like hey, you forgot this. And then as hard as he can.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, forgot this. And then, as hard as you can, okay, uh, counselor thornwell's in the middle of discuss. She's, she's having a conversation, deep conversation, with somebody else at the table. Uh, as you enter the bar and you scream loudly hey, you forgot this. She looks up in time to see the key, uh coming right at her and she doesn't react fast enough and it hits her right in the chest. She winces slightly and I don't care, I've already left. Yep, she winces slightly, looks down, picks the key up, looks around Monty, have you kept up with Nines or did you even go in?
Speaker 5:I think Monty like walked through the door right as nines was leaving and sees Thornwell like grabbing her chest.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So counselor Thornwell grabs her chest, picks the key up with her other hand, looks up as nines as the door is closing from nines leaving the room.
Speaker 3:Also, he's going to do a like, a like, a slow motion like in the air and whoop because it was such a great throw.
Speaker 2:She looks up with the key in her hand and makes eye contact with Monty and she says what the fuck is wrong with him?
Speaker 5:I don't know what happened between you two last night. It must not have went as well as we all thought it did.
Speaker 2:Apparently not.
Speaker 5:Did you guys not do the? You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Her face turns crimson red. In a public room yeah, there are a dozen other people in this room. Her face turns crimson red and she looks absolutely mortified and she says I would never discuss that with you.
Speaker 5:From the looks at it, he finished on your chest.
Speaker 2:This right here is why I rated him. She grabs her mug of ale and walks upstairs.
Speaker 5:And Montiel just like shrug his shoulders. I didn't know what got into her. Then turn around and walk out.
Speaker 2:Not nines, nines.
Speaker 4:She tried to show me her boobies, and I wouldn't let her.
Speaker 5:Okay, montiel, like run up, like chase, chase down nines heading back to the ship okay, um, you said you wanted to go to a magic store.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we'll do, do mores and glenn real quick yeah, I'm going to okay well, so glenn was thinking going to the cooking supply store just to get like spices and whatnot to prepare, and that I don't think that will be very eventful, unless there's something that you want to talk about. Is there anything interesting in the store?
Speaker 2:Uh, is there? No, these are pretty typical stores. So the magical store as you walk up you see a sign that says I have newt and then some, and it's got typical magical components. Nothing really catches your eye, other than if you need a specific component for anything, for a spell or something for eye level spell, but nothing really stands out here.
Speaker 4:They don't have potions or anything at the magic store.
Speaker 2:Oh, they do have potions. What kind of potions are you looking?
Speaker 4:for the one thing that I'm looking for. Am I going to the which one's closer? Which one's first?
Speaker 2:The magic store is closer.
Speaker 4:Any kind of major healing potion, or we're about to go out to see a swim speed potion, or whatever it's called, that makes you able to swim, move underwater as if you're on land. That's what he will ask the proprietor Do you have a potion that will allow me to move underwater as well as I move on land, that will allow me to move underwater as well as I?
Speaker 2:move on land I. So you see a short gnome there and he responds with I do not have a potion that does that, but I do have water-breathing potions, if that would entice you.
Speaker 4:No, I think we still have like a dozen of those, so no, I'm good with that. How much is a standard major healing potion?
Speaker 2:I have greater healing potions in stock.
Speaker 4:That'll probably do. How much are those? 100 gold pieces 100 gold pieces, are you crazy?
Speaker 6:How many do you have?
Speaker 2:I have six.
Speaker 6:Well, if we're going to make you a bunch of money by buying these, what if we gave us a discount?
Speaker 2:Mmm, what do you suggest?
Speaker 6:Well, uh, how about uh? Buy two, get one free.
Speaker 2:Ooh, how about buy one, get the next for 50% off?
Speaker 4:How about you buy three and get two free?
Speaker 6:No, I like. The deal you offered is fine, so I'll take three total.
Speaker 2:So three total. So you're going to buy two at full price and one at half price.
Speaker 6:No, you said buy one, get one half off, yes, so I'm going to get one completely free and buy two. What?
Speaker 5:I mean, you buy the first one, you get the next one half off, and you buy another one, you get the next one half off.
Speaker 6:You're really only paying for two. Buy two, get one free. That's what that was. You gave me the same thing. I thought you did that on purpose.
Speaker 5:See the look on your face.
Speaker 2:Okay, fine, that'll be 200 gold pieces.
Speaker 6:Here you go. We'll just go to your tender over here and I'll count these out for you, do you?
Speaker 2:accept copper yes.
Speaker 6:That's good to know. I'll put 200 gold pieces on the counter for him.
Speaker 2:Okay, in copper, alright, subtract 200 gold pieces from your inventory and add 3 potions of greater healing to your inventory.
Speaker 6:Great, I'm up to four now.
Speaker 4:So Glenn will shake his head, I guess. I guess I'll take the other three and give her 150 gold pieces. She sits there and counts for a second.
Speaker 2:She says I'm sorry, I believe you are 50 gold pieces short. Sits there and counts for a second. She says I'm sorry, I believe you are 50 gold pieces short.
Speaker 4:So Glenn will start moving the gold pieces around and kind of move them around in such a way that it gets confusing.
Speaker 5:Are you sure? I love that he's not straight up trying to steal.
Speaker 2:Make me a sleight of hand check Glenn 28 and Mors. I would like you to make me a perception check perception check is a 15. My passive is a 20 oh yeah, I always forget about your friggin passive. I gotta start using those more, okay. Perception check is a 15. My passive is a 20. Oh yeah, I always forget about your friggin' passive. I gotta start using those more, okay, alright, yeah, so the gnome is thoroughly confused. She accepts that, but Morse does see that you gave her 150 gold pieces.
Speaker 6:Was he? I mean, if I was still standing there I'd probably give him an elbow or something, but I don't know what I have. I might have been busy about. I noticed he was paying and then just been putting my stuff in my pack, Essentially. I met your call how good he two shoes is Morris today.
Speaker 2:How could he two shoes is Morris today, that's how I'm not very good at issues.
Speaker 6:Well as Morris today. Not very good at tissues, morris doesn't do anything about it this time.
Speaker 2:Okay, subtract 150 gold pieces from your inventory, glenn.
Speaker 4:I didn't realize that a thousand.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I gave you guys a crap ton of money in the last couple episodes, alright, and then the cooking store. Anything specific you're looking for there? Looking there for Bill.
Speaker 4:Looking for there. So Glenn will walk directly up to the proprietor and say do you have an egg poacher that I can use on a ship?
Speaker 2:Is there a difference between an egg poacher for land and one on a ship?
Speaker 4:Yeah, because you can't boil the water as hot on a ship.
Speaker 2:I have an egg poacher. I'm sorry, the actual proprietor of the store is out today and I'm just covering for him.
Speaker 4:So you don't really.
Speaker 2:You just came in here and are selling the guy's stuff he told me to stick to the uh the, the price on the tech okay, so let me see your egg poacher he hands you the egg poacher. Okay, it uh a typical egg poacher, but it does have a seal on the top of it and it seems to be made of a very conductive material such as copper.
Speaker 4:Okay, all right, all right. So what's the tag?
Speaker 2:say, the tag says it is 42 gold pieces.
Speaker 4:Jesus, all right, I don't need a copper egg poacher. Alright, glenn will look for some spices and stuff and just get random spices. That's way too much for an egg poacher. It's like an equivalent of like $400.
Speaker 2:I thought you were going to try to bargain, so I started high.
Speaker 4:Okay. The guy said that thought you were going to try to bargain so I started high. Well, you got it. Okay. I mean, the guy said that he wasn't going to bargain but said stick to the prices.
Speaker 2:That would stop Glenn ever.
Speaker 4:That's true, that's true. Alright, so Glenn will say a typical egg poacher is generally made out of iron or something like that. So I'll give you that this typical egg poacher is generally made out of like iron or something like that. So I'll give you that this copper egg poacher is probably worth a little bit more than a typical egg poacher. But a typical egg poacher is only like 70 or so no, sorry, seven gold pieces, 70 silvers, whatever. That's usually what they go for. So if you bump this one up so you say 42, I don't know, maybe 15 gold pieces.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry I get the numbers backwards sometimes. It actually is 24 gold pieces 24, 24, that's closer, closer.
Speaker 4:How about? How about? I give you 21 and we call it good?
Speaker 2:How about you give me 20 gold pieces with a promise that the next time you are in town you come by and speak to the actual proprietor?
Speaker 4:All right Deal, and he extends his hand uh, we'll shake his hand okay, subtract 20 gold pieces, uh, and with a promise to come back to talk to the proprietor yep, because we're all about telling people where we're gonna to be and actually going, and then I will just get standard typical spices and whatnot to make sure that his spice packages are full.
Speaker 2:Yep, you fill all your spice packages for a total of 15 silver pieces.
Speaker 4:All right, Okay, dope Glenn will look at Moors and say is there anything that you wanted to get in either of the stores? Oh, you got gold. You got healing potions.
Speaker 6:I got potions, that first store. Really that was the only kind of magic store around.
Speaker 2:Other than the one you went to with what's-her-face the druid? What are you looking for, other than the one you went to with what's-her-face the druid? With the druid, what are you looking?
Speaker 6:for Some horse does know how to cast Gust. But if he had some way to make that more powerful, to help the sailing ship with wind power, if I had some way to harness that better, he would try to pursue that. But I only have 140 gold so I don't know if that would even get me something that would wind power or magic uh, so visiting both these stores you've used about 30 minutes of your time.
Speaker 2:You can probably still make it over to the other magic store if you'd like to check that out, the one with, uh, that druid lady. Yes, what is your name?
Speaker 6:trying to like pay to remember Piela or something.
Speaker 2:Slutleaf, Slutleaf yes.
Speaker 1:Slutleaf of the.
Speaker 2:Fire Druids.
Speaker 6:Piela, that's like Piela Piela. Yeah, why not? You can make that trip within a time period, within our time period? Yes, you can.
Speaker 2:Maybe we'll run into some people we know there you can say and what does the cantrip gusts do?
Speaker 6:just a couple things. Um, it lets you, uh, do one of the following things at a time. You can choose a medium or smaller creature to either be pushed away from you five feet. If they fail, a strength saving throw. You create a small blast of air which moves an object that is neither held nor carried, that weighs no more than five pounds, object to push ten feet away from me without enough force to cause any damage. Or I can create a sensory harmless effect using air, such as making leaves rustle, wind to slam shutters or to have your clothing ripple in a breeze and look really cool while you stand there with a hero pose, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Alright, we're going to go over to Monty real quick. While you're traveling over to the magic store Nice Monty, you walk up to the tanner and on the sign it says oh sorry, bill, do you have something else? Just saying Glenn is going with Moores. Okay, the sign on the door of the tanner is Buck Skinner.
Speaker 5:So, as Monty's like he's still kind of chasing down Nines because Nines is still in front of him, sure, and he's going to yell Nines, because nines is still in front of him, sure, um, and he's gonna yell in nines, nines, I'm, I'm going to stop by this shop. Does nines hear him?
Speaker 3:uh, or respond yeah, nines, nines will stop and, uh, and and go check it out as well all right, then monty will walk in to Buck Skinner.
Speaker 2:Alright. Behind the counter is a large orc standing there and he's actively working on a piece of leather. What color is his skin? His skin is a greenish white.
Speaker 5:Monty will walk up to the counter.
Speaker 2:The orc looks over at you and his two bottom teeth, or his two bottom incisors, are sticking up over his top lip and he says, wow, welcome.
Speaker 5:Good day, kind sir. I have traveled from afar and are looking for any kind of a armor upgrade to what I am currently wearing, and he will kind of pull back his cloak and show him the studded leather armor that he has. Do you have anything that might help me out in battle?
Speaker 2:Are you looking for something new, or do you want this to be reinforced?
Speaker 5:I would be happy with either, as long as it's currently just slightly better. You know, depending on price, I am not the most wealthiest fellow.
Speaker 3:Nines will offer helpfully. I'm pretty wealthy Monty. I have like 500 of these things.
Speaker 5:Monty will kind of turn around and shoot Nines a look he's like oh well, thank you, nines. If it is needed, I will definitely take you up on that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you see the orc's eyes light up when he sees all of Nines' gold.
Speaker 5:It might be Monty's opportunity to spend somebody else's money. This time.
Speaker 2:Alright, so Pretty good, alright. So yeah, the orc says Well, why don't you hand it over here? Let me see what I can do. Okay, that sounds great.
Speaker 3:No, no, Nines.
Speaker 5:Nines. Hold on for just one moment. Monty will take off his studded leathers and slide them onto the counter.
Speaker 3:Oh, not the money.
Speaker 5:Ah no, that will come here in a moment, don't you worry.
Speaker 3:Sorry, yeah, I tend to get ahead of myself. Speaking of which. Master of the Lions said never to judge a person by the color of their skin, but have you ever been Cerulean by chance?
Speaker 2:No, I have not. I know what you speak of the half-orcs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was confused too. It's like blue, but it's I know.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know what Cerulean is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like blue right.
Speaker 5:Where did you see these blue orcs?
Speaker 2:Oh, they're down south In Orgobar. I'm sorry where Orgobar? Orgobar. I'm sorry, I have an accent.
Speaker 3:The smorgabard of blue orcs? I get it, but where?
Speaker 2:And he just gets frustrated with himself and he holds his lip out with his hands and he says Orgobar.
Speaker 5:Oh, orgobar, okay, well, thank you.
Speaker 3:I don't know why he's cussing at me, but all right, yeah, so as he's examining, youring at me but alright, yeah.
Speaker 2:so, as he's examining your leather Monty, he asks is there anything specific that you would like some resistance to, or are you looking for it to be stronger?
Speaker 5:I would particularly love it to be stronger. Give it nipple holes. Nipple holes, he has terrible chafing. It might make it quite vulnerable in a very sensitive area, if you happen to know what I mean.
Speaker 3:He's got six nipples, though he didn't mention that, did he?
Speaker 5:He's got so many nipples Six very sensitive areas, Never mind the nipples Nines. What I'd really like is when people try to punch me, I'd prefer that they don't.
Speaker 2:You have. I could use nipple holes, but I'm sure you've heard the story of areola keys.
Speaker 5:Is that the famous Dromanian warrior that was shot in the areola and killed, but any other place on his body he was completely impenetrable.
Speaker 2:Yes, of course, you have heard this story.
Speaker 5:Yes, I watched that last night on Netflix. I actually did. I run.
Speaker 3:Oh, you watch Areola Cleese on Netflix.
Speaker 5:No, troy. My wife had never seen it before. She loved the movie. It's the story of Achilles. But no, no, no nipple holes are necessary. I'd like to be stronger. I'm resistant in any way, you see, but overall, if it prevents me from getting hurt while maintaining my nimbly pimbliness, that would be much appreciated.
Speaker 3:Hey, can you put nipple holes in my robes?
Speaker 2:Yes, I can. I can do that pretty easily. Is that what you would like?
Speaker 3:Mmm, no, I was just curious it would only cost one gold piece A little steep for my blood. Thank you, though, yeah of course.
Speaker 2:So yeah, after examining this, monty says I can make this a little stronger for you. If you'd like, I can also give it resistances to certain types of damage, or I can do both. They are varying costs. If you would like this to be stronger, more resistant to damage, I could do that for about 150 gold pieces.
Speaker 5:Resistant to what in particular?
Speaker 2:Well, I can make it resistant to piercing or bludgeoning damage.
Speaker 5:Hmm, how about?
Speaker 2:both or both, that would cost close to 800 gold pieces 800 gold pieces.
Speaker 5:So resistance, and now to it. Uh, how much stronger are we talking?
Speaker 2:uh, I could make it, uh, you know, resist a little more more damage. And he starts describing this to you and as he's describing it, you realize that it would increase your AC by 1.
Speaker 5:Okay. He looks over the shoulder at the mortars and he says he said Mortars is not there. I'm sorry, 9s.
Speaker 2:He said 850 was the 850 total, if you want piercing and bludgeoning resistance.
Speaker 5:Is there a way I could potentially convince you to do the whole thing for an even 800?
Speaker 2:Give me a persuasion check.
Speaker 4:It's in 30 minutes, yeah.
Speaker 3:I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 5:I guess that's probably his other question. I'll give you that persuasion. Jack, I'm a little bit short on time. How long would this take?
Speaker 2:It should take at least a day.
Speaker 5:Oh, I would not have a day. We, unfortunately, are catching a ship that will be leaving within the hour.
Speaker 3:I will give you 500 gold to put nipple flaps on his armor right now.
Speaker 5:Done. Never mind him kind, sir. Is there possibly armor that you have already in your store with some of these similar features?
Speaker 1:Unless.
Speaker 5:I may purchase and I'll trade you my current armor for.
Speaker 2:I can increase the toughness of your armor for 150 gold pieces and I can get that done in 20 minutes okay, that sounds like a deal is that a no go on the flaps, or no, no? 500 gold pieces for nipple flaps. Absolutely, and he extends his hand to shake with nines.
Speaker 5:Monty will kind of push Nines back. He'll be like Nines, it's quite all right. The nipple flaps would not be necessary. I believe that to be a chink in any well-formed armor.
Speaker 3:I resent that.
Speaker 5:But Monty will say but yes.
Speaker 4:But they're flaps. They cover them normally. Just make it so that if you want to get to them you can just lift up the flaps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he's got a short amount of time to do it, so one of those flaps would be broken and would constantly just reveal a nipple.
Speaker 3:Actually, I was thinking of some sort of pull string mechanism at his neck, where you pull it down and it reveals all six of the nipples at the same time.
Speaker 5:You know, our final boss is a wind elemental that constantly blows the flaps up, and Monty has exposed vulnerable areas.
Speaker 3:Yes, I will take the Hydra and a nipple monster.
Speaker 5:The armor strengthening. That sounds like a great idea. Would you perhaps have anything else in your store I might be interested in? Monty will start counting out coins for 150.
Speaker 2:Sure, we just met. I don't really know what you're interested in.
Speaker 5:Anything to make me tougher. The last time I got in a fight, let's say, the other dude felt worse than I did, but it was not a good experience for myself.
Speaker 3:The worst kind of nipple chafing you've ever seen.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you're willing to move up from leather armor, we can look at chainmail.
Speaker 5:To be honest, I prefer my maneuverability that the leathers produce. I'm pretty sure my character can't actually Well, I can put on chainmail, but it's.
Speaker 2:You can put on chainmail and you can also wear a shield.
Speaker 3:You get max dex bonus, though right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, your max dex will go down, so you'll end up putting chainmail on and lose AC.
Speaker 5:Yeah, no, I think I'll have to stick to the leathers. Yeah, no, no, I don't think I'll have to stick to the leathers, so I might just do the improvement I also have shields Can.
Speaker 2:I use a shield, so you'd have to have it equipped to actually gain the benefit of the AC, so you'd only really be able to use it if you're using your spear.
Speaker 5:Yeah, oh, but other than that, I could wear it on my back too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you don't get the AC bonus if you do that From it being on your back. Yeah.
Speaker 5:Correct, but if I was so, how would that work in combat? If you drop the bow, bring out the spear. Could I also equip the shield at the same time, or is that two separate actions?
Speaker 2:No, you can pull them both out at the same action.
Speaker 5:Alright, what kind of shields?
Speaker 3:I might be, interested in something like this. Nines is going to once again take the opportunity to rehash what sounds to be a tired argument for not wearing any armor at all, going over all of the litany against armor that Master the Lion would have instilled in Nines. Sorry, my wife just screwed the shit up.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, I'm okay. Thank you, love.
Speaker 5:That's what you get for being such a bitch.
Speaker 2:She puts you in place. So yeah, the orc is listening to you. He's obviously being as patient as he can. He's heard being as patient as he can. He's heard the story from other monks and he says, well, yes, but I have seen many a monk fall from an arrow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but that's okay because we have slow fall. It's not going to hurt us.
Speaker 5:I do not believe that. How slow fall works. Okay, well, shows what you know, Put on me kind of See me with.
Speaker 3:A&R right now bro.
Speaker 5:It is okay, my traveling companion here. He definitely is my friend, but the other day we got in the worst slapping match. He's just a glutton for punishment.
Speaker 3:Please feel free to don't worry about it no Master of the Lion says gluttony is a sin. I take exactly the right amount of punishment. So the armor looks at both of you and he says I take exactly the right amount of punishment.
Speaker 2:So the armorer looks at both of you and he says You're looking for a shield, I have shields.
Speaker 5:A basic shield will cost 10 gold pieces.
Speaker 2:Do you have anything that's maybe magical in nature? I do have some magical shields. The cheapest magical shield I have is about 300 gold pieces.
Speaker 5:Let me see what you have.
Speaker 4:But you don't have very many gold, not much gold.
Speaker 5:I mean I've got, If I paid 150.
Speaker 4:I'm saying that's what you told him.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's what I told him. Yes, but 9 has a whole bunch.
Speaker 4:And has offered it to you.
Speaker 5:That's true.
Speaker 2:So he pulls out his magical shield and it is probably the shiniest piece of metal you've ever seen as he takes it out from under the counter and it is absolutely gorgeous. You can see everything reflected off of this shield and he holds it up to you and you can see your reflection perfectly. And he says this is a shield of gleaming, no matter what. It stays perfectly polished. No dirt or grime ever gets on it. What does he? Do I mean, it's a shield. It does what shields do, but it's always clean.
Speaker 5:It's just a clean, it stays clean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the shield of gleaming. It's magically resistant to dirt and grime, always appearing clean and polished. It provides a typical plus two AC for shields.
Speaker 5:Is a basic shield. Do the same thing, but this one just stays clean, Correct? Do you have anything that might wield some benefits other than cleanliness, which we all know is next to godliness? You should meet my friend Glynn. He would love something like this.
Speaker 2:The next shield that I've got. It's a 400 gold pieces and he pulls it out and as he pulls it out from under the counter you see a red gleam to it. It is a metal shield, but it's got a dull red glow coming off of it consistently and he says this is a shield of ember guard. Um, it is, and legends say that it gives you resistance to fire when you're holding it a shield of ember guard.
Speaker 5:This looks more like my uh, my, my style.
Speaker 2:So essentially plus two plus fire resistance plus two bonus to ac and fire resistance while you're holding it yeah, um, does he have other ones like my?
Speaker 5:I did being cut to him having to like show me every shoe in the shoe store. Does he have other uh shields that I might be? I?
Speaker 2:mean I'll take that one if uh the other shield, uh, that really catches your eye is 500 gold pieces and it's a shield of vigilant. While holding it, you can't be surprised as long as you're conscious, which I believe you already have.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's gonna be the red one looks quite nice. You said it's a dull red. Is it like a noticeable thing going to affect camouflage of mine of any way? It won't affect camouflage, unless you're holding it unless I'm holding it by chance for an additional gold piece. Is there any way you could fashion a a leather cover to go over the front of the shield? I I do quite like my stealthiness uh, yes, I can do that.
Speaker 2:Instead of the nipple things, I guess I could do this.
Speaker 5:That would be much more presentable. Okay, so you said the shield is 400 and the armor upgrade would be 150. Can we work a deal to do it for a solid five?
Speaker 2:if you let me add the nipples into the leather, we can do it for five deal, say tell them, tell them, it's a deal so is it and the nipples or the nipple flaps the nipple flaps
Speaker 5:um, I, I wouldn't mind, you know, nipple protrusions and and some absculpting, if you would like to do that, but nipple flaps not quite my liking.
Speaker 2:Then I'm sorry, 550 is the lowest I can go.
Speaker 5:Okay, Actually give me a persuasion.
Speaker 2:check, monty, I'll give you the benefit of it.
Speaker 5:All right, I'm not very good at those.
Speaker 3:You do sequential nipple flaps.
Speaker 1:Give it the old college try.
Speaker 5:Oh, not perception, you said persuasion, persuasion, okay, got a 19 on that one.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, he kind of huffs around it for a second, then he says, fine, 500.
Speaker 5:Nines, would you mind spotting me 100 of those gold pieces that you happen to be carrying around so loosely there, unless you would like to pay for the full 500.
Speaker 3:How much for the nipple things?
Speaker 5:No nipple things that's not necessary.
Speaker 2:The Orc comes up immediately and says for you, sir the nipples, an extra 50 gold pieces, all right.
Speaker 3:Here you go. Good sir, he starts counting out the money.
Speaker 5:He hands him 550 gold pieces for armor with nipple shields.
Speaker 4:Nipple flaps.
Speaker 3:Wait, I'm sorry. Am I on the hook for the 550, or is it?
Speaker 5:Yeah, if you're adding nipple shield or nipple flaps.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I only want to like make up the difference, oh.
Speaker 5:No, the nipple flaps would be quite unnecessary, but if you could spot me in 100 gold pieces, this would be quite a nice addition to our little adventure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Nines is going to wink at the orc.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 5:One does Monty notice? And two I don't think I'm really going to give him a perception check.
Speaker 2:Okay then, yes, you notice it. Yeah, the orc sees it.
Speaker 5:So are you handing me 100 or 150?
Speaker 3:I'm handing it straight to the orc. It's going to be a stack of coins and then there's going to be a wink during the exchange.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the orc looks at it. You see him kind of bob it up in his hand and then he puts it into his pocket.
Speaker 5:Monty will hand over his 400, and, as he's saying to Jose, the nipple flaps will be quite unnecessary.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, understood, understood, and he, like very obviously, winks back at Nines.
Speaker 3:All right, Nines is going to get his finger guns.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so.
Speaker 5:The death of Monty.
Speaker 2:Monty, you get back. You get the Shield of Emberguard, which is an actual item in D&D, so you can add that to your inventory. And you also get back a We'll call it studded leather plus one, so it gives you plus one to your AC while you're wearing it. And there are two flaps right above your nipples Only two. Right in front of you One above each one.
Speaker 4:But he has six nipples.
Speaker 2:Do male cats have six nipples? All cats do Male cats? Yes, they differentiate.
Speaker 3:I did not know Different numbers of nipples. That's okay. Male cat yes, they differentiate. I did not know, Different numbers of nipples.
Speaker 5:That's okay. You know what I found out today? Female reindeer have antlers. Didn't know this Really, yeah, and come to find out in the months of November and December. Only the female reindeer would actually retain their antlers. The males would have shed them by that point. So all of Santa's reindeer, they're chicks. Huh, big conspiracy theory.
Speaker 6:Vixen didn't clue you in.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good point. I knew Rudolph sounded slutty. Alright, nines, is there anything you want in the story before we move over to glenn and moore's, and then we'll get all the nipple based uh clothing items uh gone or uh, he said the orc says to you uh, just if you would like me to alter your, your tunic, I would gladly add some uh flaps to yours for one gold piece.
Speaker 3:No, that would be embarrassing. Thank you, though.
Speaker 2:Yes, of course it is good doing business with both of you. All right, mors, you said you wanted to go check in with Pila yes, okay. Uh, morse, you said you wanted to go check in with Pylos yes, okay. So as you walk in, pylos stands up straight and she looks a little concerned, but she says welcome back. What, what can I do for you, master Morse?
Speaker 6:Morse squints at her still a little bit untrustfully. He says do you have anything that affects wind? Do you have anything that affects wind?
Speaker 2:I do. I have several items that can muster up a large gust of wind.
Speaker 6:Will you tell me more about them, please?
Speaker 2:Of course, yes, I have this. And she pulls up what looks like an oriental fan, one of the ones you flip out, and she says it would allow you to cast the cancer of gust once per short rest in combat, but outside of combat you could cast it up to five times.
Speaker 2:Interesting Okay, what else do you have? I also have a Breeze Orb and she holds up this small blue crystal orb and it's sitting in the palm of her hand and as she's holding it, it floats up about an inch above her palm and you can hear a small hum and as it's humming, you feel wind start generating in the space around you. She says this is what I call my breeze orb. It allows you to cast a gust three times per long rest. However, it does require that you spend some time with it, also known as attunement. But finally, I could. I have some ink here and I could tattoo you. It would just be a small tattoo on your right or left palm which would allow you to cast Gust outside of combat up to five times per long rest.
Speaker 6:Ah, I see. Well, those aren't really in the book for me. I appreciate your time, Unless, glenn, you want one of these.
Speaker 4:Unless, glenn, you want one of these. So Glenn is looking around and are there any magic items that look interesting?
Speaker 2:Anything specific you're looking for?
Speaker 4:So maybe something that will increase his AC or increase His dexterity, like a ring or something like that Rings or necklaces, or it would spell dexterity.
Speaker 2:How about, uh, she looks at you for a few seconds and then, um, she says, uh, she looks at you for a few seconds and then, um, she says, I, I do happen to have a cape sorry, I was going back to work and I do happen to have a cape that would, uh, that would strengthen your resolve, if you're interested in it uh, kind of like any kind of does a little flourish, kind of like this one.
Speaker 4:It's probably not going to work for me.
Speaker 2:There are also some tattoos that I could probably give you.
Speaker 4:Really wanting to tattoo us.
Speaker 2:I just got my certification. I'm working on it. I really need to master my art.
Speaker 4:What kind of tattoo could you? How long would it take to do a tattoo?
Speaker 2:It would probably take about two to three hours.
Speaker 4:Okay, that's not going to work. Okay, I guess. I guess I don't need anything.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I'm happy to see you both again and please feel free to stop by at any time.
Speaker 4:Alright, thanks, that was kind of a letdown, sorry.
Speaker 2:As you're heading out, she says oh, master Morris, one other thing. You did ask me for something last time you were here and I do have some, and I just had it delivered. And she pulls out a bag with a mushroom in it and she hands it over to you. Is that the?
Speaker 6:pufferoon.
Speaker 2:It is a pufferoon.
Speaker 6:When she pulls it out. I'm actually going to cast Gust and make wind swirl around me and make my contra pull up.
Speaker 2:I'm going to suggest that she stays away from me okay, yes, I'm sorry, I know, I know you've had bad experiences with me and she puts quotation marks up in the past, but again, not me. You asked me for this and I got it for you. He asked for it, yeah, last time he was in the store.
Speaker 6:I think I was making sure she didn't have any to put us to sleep in was my intent, but she went and got some for us.
Speaker 2:No charge at all. It's just. I would like to extend my goodwill to you and hopefully we can be a repeat customer. I have stores all over the region and hopefully you come back and visit one of my fine establishments.
Speaker 6:Morris lets the wind die down. Is it packaged somehow to prevent? Actually, I'll just ask Is it packaged somehow to prevent unintentional?
Speaker 2:sleepiness. I put a rubber band over top and you can see it. It's twisted with a rubber band holding the whole thing. There's like a bag or something that's in. Yeah, it's a bag, it's in, okay.
Speaker 4:Glenn will look over at Mors and say the mushroom itself is pretty safe. You have to make a tea out of it in order for it to be effective. To put somebody to sleep as he pulls out a package that has the stuff to make the pufferoon tea. I don't remember where I got it, but I've got it.
Speaker 6:Fair enough. Morse will open the mouth of his bag of holding and let her drop it in yep, yeah, she drops it right into your bag alright, pylo, I'll be watching for you that's, I look forward to seeing you again.
Speaker 2:And uh, you can actually, mors, give me an insight. Check, I remember where.
Speaker 6:I got it sorry, passive insight is 15. I'll before I roll this 9. Yeah, yeah 9,.
Speaker 2:okay, yeah, she just seems pretty excited to see you again as she drops the mushroom in your bag of holding.
Speaker 6:I'll give her a little nod of appreciation and then I'm going to leave, Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay. So as you all walk back up to the ship, the aquaholics crew is starting to um, uh, pull lines in and uh, getting the ship ready to depart. Boop, boop, the dadalorian sees you from the deck of his boat and says you have made it back in time. Welcome, morse waves.
Speaker 4:Then we'll walk right up the brow plank whatever it is that is bridging the gap and pat the dadalorian on the shoulder and say If you need anything, let me know when the meal times are. If you need me, I'll be in my cabin.
Speaker 2:They are already preparing food for the night. It's early evening.
Speaker 4:Okay, weird time to leave, but sure Ain't scared. Oh the how tides work, but Anyway Alright. So Glenn will walk into his cabin and set his bag down and then go down to the galley.
Speaker 2:Okay, Anybody else doing anything special? Just gonna enter into A casual conversation to the galley.
Speaker 3:Okay, anybody else doing anything special Just going to enter into a casual conversation with the Dadalorian about the nature of souls. About the nature of souls, casual.
Speaker 6:Yeah, casual conversation Morris will help, morris will help Beansprout fashion a bandana, a little raccoon-sized bandana. Okay, he insisted.
Speaker 5:Monty will walk around the ship, calling out terms that would imply he's been on a ship before.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, all right, all right, let me do this in order then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the dadalorian, after hearing some of Nine's conversation, says I apologize, I don't believe I am the one equipped for this conversation. Please talk to our chaplain. He points over to a. It's probably the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, nine. She is dressed very conservatively but she has very pretty features. She stands about 5'5" and you can see her just watching over the crew and she's casually praying over them. You can see her muttering things under her breath and she does have a set of wings behind her.
Speaker 3:Nines will scoff and say as if a woman can be a chaplain.
Speaker 2:Uh. The dadalorian says uh.
Speaker 5:Monty's ears perk up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so a woman can be a chaplain. She's right there, she is my chaplain.
Speaker 3:Uh yeah, nines will laugh along with the joke.
Speaker 2:Okay, morris Is this bandana a blood or crip situation.
Speaker 6:I hadn't meant it to be. I thought it would just be a cute thing that is there.
Speaker 2:I guess there are no colors associated with this shit well, he's, uh, yeah, well, he's fashioning it.
Speaker 6:He asked the crew members like is this, this color appropriate for our crew, our companions here?
Speaker 2:Yes. So, a half-elf a female half-elf walks up to you and she looks at you and then looks over at Bean Sprout and she bends down to Beanprout and you can see her start stroking his back. She's very, very excited about beansprout and says oh yes, of course, wait, whatever, uh, whatever this little cute little thing wants to wear, uh, it's uh, absolutely it doesn't matter. The colors.
Speaker 6:Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Oh uh, I'm moores and I am Moors and this is Beansprout. What is your name? I am First Mate Leela. First Mate Leela. It is a pleasure to meet you. It is a pleasure to meet you. I meant to ask. I have been trying Wind Magic, knowing that we were going to be on a boat at some point. I would love to try helping at some point if I could. I don't know how effective it will be.
Speaker 2:Oh, that is very, very, Thank you so much. And she shows you her right and left hands, Both hands, I guess. She shows you both hands and you see it adorned in different rings, and she points her pinky towards you and you feel a little gust of wind blow against your face.
Speaker 6:That's pretty good. I think you have more control over it than I do, but I could do something similar. But if you don't need my help, that's no problem at all. I am sure I can use your help.
Speaker 2:I mean especially late at night. It's hard to stay awake. If you would like to join me on the deck.
Speaker 6:Oh, I bet the stars are lovely.
Speaker 2:They're so lovely, I will have one of you have sex with my NPCs and not the one that wants to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the completely asexual character of Morse Monty, are you doing anything? Character remorse.
Speaker 2:And uh, monty, are you doing anything?
Speaker 5:Uh, Monty's just walking around like, just looking about the boat and calling out random nautical terms. That implies he has been on a boat before.
Speaker 4:What Correctly or incorrectly?
Speaker 5:No, correctly, like port with us. Oh, that stubborn main sheet over there. It needs to be tightened up quite a little bit. You should bring up the higher a little bit tighter there, young man.
Speaker 2:The crew is looking at you, but they continue their work without saying anything.
Speaker 4:There you go. Just one point of clarification.
Speaker 5:Was the first mate that was talking to Mors, the same chick that was praying over everybody.
Speaker 2:No, two different people. No, it's the wings that I described. So the chaplain is an Asimar.
Speaker 3:And did not get an M on her right.
Speaker 2:No, you did not. Okay, but the first mate's name is Leela. She has a hat belt.
Speaker 6:I wrote Leela on accident.
Speaker 2:Leela. I mean you can call her Leela, she might answer to you. Look at you, Look at you already making nicknames for your significant other. And I did catch that fifth element reference Bill Good one.
Speaker 4:That's good. I was just playing off of, I think, what his reference was, but um, all right, bill.
Speaker 2:yes, uh, you go down, or sorry, glenn, you walk down into the galley and you see a large green gelatinous cube, just kind of sprouting little arms everywhere and fixing things all throughout the kitchen Little flagella.
Speaker 4:Reminds me of a TV show I watched once. Alright.
Speaker 3:Couldn't understand it, though it was all in Japanese a lot of hyphen squealing.
Speaker 4:Um, no, it was. What do you call it?
Speaker 3:Seth MacFarlane. Yeah, we know, move on anyway.
Speaker 4:So and the chef of the cube.
Speaker 2:And it says I am Flubberstaffelis.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I apologize. Not good with names, I'm probably going to forget that Can you spell that.
Speaker 3:Flubberstaffelis.
Speaker 2:Flubberstaffelis, flubberstaffelis, flubberstaffelies.
Speaker 3:Flubberstaffelies, flubberstaffelies, oh man.
Speaker 4:I'm pretty sure I spelled it wrong Because it's got the little red squiggly under it, but I I mean, I hope it does, if that's an actual word. Um so Uh, I'm here to help. Saw pretty good with making stuff. Do you need some help.
Speaker 2:That'd be great. If you could tend to the pork over there, I'd appreciate it.
Speaker 4:What did you want me to pork?
Speaker 2:Uh, the cube points a giant arm up and over your head, behind you, to a large pot of something that's boiling.
Speaker 4:Boiled pork.
Speaker 3:Ew, All right so You've got to get rid of all the trichinosis.
Speaker 4:So Glenn will go over. So the I kind of want you to describe what it looked like when he. It looked at me like they don't have faces no, he's, he.
Speaker 2:He's keeping his mouth formed, and so his mouth is facing towards you, but there's no eyes or anything all right, so glenn will look around.
Speaker 4:In the galley area is there plenty of cooking apparatus or wood setting up my magic stove.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, there's plenty of room here. This is a pretty large galley. The crew is much smaller than you'd expect for a ship this size. They're like six inches tall the number of people and so there's plenty of room in the galley.
Speaker 4:Alright, so Glen will set up his stove and get out his personal cooking stuff and he'll kind of look at the boiling pork. Does it look like there's any kind of spices, or is it just like a piece of pig boiling in water?
Speaker 2:no, it looks like there's a uh. There's some kind of broth boiling. It's not just boiling in water, it's some kind of like extensive broth, and you can tell by the smell that it's been there for a while. The broth is something that's been made for or that's been tended to for days, and the smells coming off of it are really, really enticing to you.
Speaker 4:Okay, okay, so Glenn will go over and look at it and, using his judgment, I guess, try to figure out since he didn't actually give him a direction what he wanted me to do with it. And look at it using his judgment, I guess, try to figure out since he didn't actually give him a direction what he wanted me to do with it. But he'll stir it.
Speaker 2:Alright, you know what Glenn give me. We're going to keep this pretty short, but give me a cooking utensils check.
Speaker 4:Which one Dex Charisma or Intelligence.
Speaker 2:We'll go Intelligence? Oh, of course we will 21. Okay, yeah, so you're Really good roll. As you're looking at it, you can tell that it needs a little bit of spice to it, something to give it a little kick.
Speaker 4:All right, you taste it.
Speaker 2:You're like it's delicious tasting, but it needs something to really pop.
Speaker 4:So Glob will say hey, flubberstaff.
Speaker 2:Flubberstaff.
Speaker 4:Flubberstaff. How about we just call you Flubber? How's that? That's great. You okay with that Flubberstaffelisch, and is it alright if I add some garlic to this?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, yeah, do what you will.
Speaker 4:You obviously know what you're talking about, feel free alright, so Glenn will start working on the pig soup so this goes back and forth for about 30 to 45 minutes.
Speaker 2:Fleuristopheles looks over to you after a while and he looks at the fork and he extends one of his flubbery arms and picks up a spoon and takes a sip of it and he can see him obviously smacking his very fake lips together and he says I believe it could use a little more kick. And he hands you a jar of red powder.
Speaker 4:Okay, any label.
Speaker 2:No labels on it. No, nothing he has in the kitchen has labels on it.
Speaker 4:Nice. Does it look like anything that I recognize? Does it look like a certain spice that I used to use?
Speaker 2:No, no, this comes from a faraway land.
Speaker 4:Okay, taste it. So yeah, well, I mean Glenn will taste it.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, so Glenn, uh, you died, you're dead. Uh, uh, you feel this kind of like. You feel the spice start to kick in your tongue as soon as it hits your ear, as soon as it hits your your, the tip of your tongue and your mouth starts to light up, you can start feeling your face flush. Your nose starts to dribble a little bit. It is a very spicy powder, probably some of the spiciest you've ever seen. Tears start forming in your eyes.
Speaker 2:Man, the white guy, takes three points of damage from the spice and Flubberstaffelis looks over to you and he says Do not fear the flame, it is both destruction and rebirth. I think he's hitting on you, Glenn.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're going to have sex with this gel. This is why I stopped watching Emeril Lagasse.
Speaker 4:So Glenn will say oh no, I'm not afraid, it's just a little bit more than I was expecting. So he dumps the entire jar into the sauce and slowly reaches it down to his pouch and takes a drink of water okay, um all right, so or milk, milk, milk that he carries around in his pouch mon uh, so again this goes back and forth, and flubberstoff leaves, corrects you on a few things here and there, uh, and even though you don't you're not really you don't like being corrected uh, after he had he gives you spices to add.
Speaker 2:you can tell that the the food tastes better three hours down the road, after the food is done being made, you start appreciating the finer aspects of the culinary lesson that flebur stofflees has given you, and you now think you can uh to make your food taste even better. So I'm going to give you a modified feat for your cooking.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:And you can add this to your, your character. So, uh, you can use the modified feat for chef mastery, or you can use chef mastery as long as you modify it. So you now use less ingredients to make more food and, after a long rest, if you are the one that prepares the meal for your party, you and up to six other party members can eat that food and gain ten temporary hit points.
Speaker 3:Wow, nice.
Speaker 5:We might be interested in Glenn's breakfast now.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, Alright cool.
Speaker 2:So the ship has set sail. It's been in sail for a while, the crew is off doing its own thing. Total you count about as you see people running in and out of the ship. You count about 14 total crew members, not including the dadalorian himself or the party. And Beansprout's just having a blast. He's climbing all over the ropes, all over the masts, he's all over the place and Leela's just giving him all the attention every time he comes near and he's eating that up. After around dinner time you hear one of the crew members yell, yell something, and then a bunch of commotion is happening in the front of the ship and the datalorian runs up to the front of the ship. And the datalorian runs up to the front of the ship and he says get lines out there, bring him in. Is there?
Speaker 1:anything you would like to do?
Speaker 6:Morse is topside probably at this point.
Speaker 2:Morse is topside.
Speaker 6:And cast dancing lights out towards where the captain was looking. I'll send my four torch-sized little birds out there to go circle. Whatever it is that has caught our attention, okay.
Speaker 5:Montia will run to the rail and look. Does he happen to see anything?
Speaker 2:You don't see anything until Morse casts Dancing Lights. After that you see a. Yeah, it see anything until Morse casts Dancing Lights After that you see a. Yeah, it is dark. Now I have dark vision. Great, thank you, I did forget I have dark vision. Okay, anybody else have dark vision? That I forgot about.
Speaker 5:I'm also going to go up on deck. Let me check.
Speaker 6:I do actually have dark vision, okay, great.
Speaker 2:Does Beam Sprout have? Dark vision, okay great. Does Beamsprout have?
Speaker 6:dark vision. He is fae. I have to check his stat blocks. I think he has a raccoon. Hold on, oh, there's not a stat block for raccoon, but I use weasel which weasels don't? Yeah, beamsprout doesn't see shit.
Speaker 5:His bandana falls over his eyes.
Speaker 2:So as Dancing Light is cast, you see a small. It looks like a lifeboat. It's a single person rowboat. Both oars are missing and inside you see a tiefling that is laying, that is barely conscious, and you can see his arms moving slightly. The crew throws down ropes, Monty jumps overboard.
Speaker 4:The thing is, I'm almost unconscious what the hell is the point of throwing ropes to it.
Speaker 2:I was getting there. Okay, monty, you're jumping overboard.
Speaker 5:Yep Monty dives in with water. With his new found water abilities, we're going to put him to good use.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Monty will no longer be afraid of water Monty.
Speaker 2:As soon as you dive in the water, you feel webbing, start to grow between your fingers and toes and it feels like you're moving on land.
Speaker 5:Actually, first he takes off his boots.
Speaker 3:I think, technically, nines could run down the hole across the water, pick up the tiefling and then carry them back up. Probably.
Speaker 5:How could he do that? Can you walk on water? Yeah, are you D&D, jesus?
Speaker 3:I am D&D Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yes, nines can walk on vertical surfaces and run on water.
Speaker 5:Oh, interesting. Well, Monty's going to jump overboard and start swimming towards the boat and then climb in the boat once he gets there.
Speaker 2:Okay, In the boat you see a. It looks like a half-starved tiefling. His left horn is broken off completely, while his right one spirals back and touches the back of his head. He looks like he hasn't eaten in days. He has no water. You can see that his lips are cracked and he looks like he's almost the same color as your shield, so a dull red.
Speaker 5:Monty will just simply say Hing-Tight friend, we are here to take care of you, and he'll reach back and start grabbing some of the ropes that are being thrown at the boat and pulling the boat alongside the, not the Datalorian. What's the name of the ship?
Speaker 2:The Aquaholic. He will grab a hold of the ropes allowing the small raft to be pulled back to the Aquaholic, yeah, so you the small raft we pulled back to the Aquaholic how are you getting back? On board Monty.
Speaker 5:He'll climb.
Speaker 2:There's another rope there, if you'd like that.
Speaker 5:No, no, no, he's got claws, he can climb. He'll just climb up the side of the boat.
Speaker 2:This party is very good at climbing and then jump.
Speaker 5:He'll jump back onto the boat and land in his boots. That's what he's going to try to do.
Speaker 2:Alright, give me a dexterity check. Alright, acrobatics or not acrobatics? Acrobatics, that's dex, that's dex, yeah Okay, yeah, give me acrobatics.
Speaker 5:Damn 16. No, I'm using my inspiration on that one. Okay, what else am I going to use it on? Yeah, there we go 27.
Speaker 4:Did he actually give?
Speaker 2:you inspiration. I didn't say it, but yes, he had inspiration.
Speaker 5:I'm using it on this, of all things, 27.
Speaker 2:All right, he's trying to impress somebody. I don't know who, monty, you successfully landed right back in your boots.
Speaker 5:Maybe the ASMR will see all this going on.
Speaker 4:But did anybody notice? The entire crew is staring at Monty.
Speaker 2:Everybody on board saw this. I think it would have been funnier if everybody was paying attention to the teeth.
Speaker 1:Everybody was paying attention to the teeth. Everybody was paying attention to the teeth. Everybody was paying attention to the teeth.
Speaker 6:Morr is just clapping.
Speaker 2:Yeah, morr gives him a good clap like hey, hey, you saved him bean sprout also stands, sits back on his, on his uh, on his ass, and he starts clapping as well do it again encore no, thank you.
Speaker 5:Thank you very much, it's the least they could do. How is the tiefling?
Speaker 2:yeah, so the tiefling is, uh, he's very weak and but he's saying something, he's, he's starting to, to, to wake up a little bit, become more conscious. And the datalorian stands over him um and he says does anybody? It it are. Do we have a healer on board? Oh, I can heal a little bit and I have some potions. That'd be wonderful. Yes, it looks like he needs it. He's very weak.
Speaker 6:So I'll come forward and take a look at him and see if this is more like a mental, physical, spiritual ailment. I imagine it's probably physical, but can I Give me a medicine check See how he looks, if anybody's better at medicine and would be interested?
Speaker 3:in. I have a plus seven. Is that what you mean? Yeah, that's pretty good.
Speaker 6:Nines.
Speaker 2:Help him out with a medicine check.
Speaker 6:That's not too bad I got a plus one over here.
Speaker 2:I cannot wait for Nines to give a medical diagnosis.
Speaker 5:It's like one from Idiocracy. Yo man. It says here your shit's all jacked up.
Speaker 3:The computer says your shit's all tarted.
Speaker 4:Tarted and stuff.
Speaker 1:This one goes in your ear and this one in your butt. Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:This one in your mouth With my plus no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nines, you can, after looking at him, you can see that there's something deeper affecting him. It looks like there's something spiritually going on as well.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, check out these lines. They're all fucked up.
Speaker 6:Oh yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you see the one going from the hip to that left shoulder. Yeah, that's not even supposed to go to the left shoulder. That's crazy. I've never seen any shit like that.
Speaker 5:See that one horn, it turned around all their backwards.
Speaker 4:The tiefling horns grow back.
Speaker 6:I think not. I don't think so now let's you cast a spell on them.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I, having having passed, apparently, this medicine check and seeing that his key is all knotted up, all fuckered up, his key is crooked as a question mark. Does Nines have an inkling of what to do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, from what you can tell, he needs some alone time, meditation to really understand himself, some perspective on what's going on in his life. He needs some him time.
Speaker 3:This man needs to masturbate, stat. That's the only way he's going to get the clarity he needs. Can you, hey Morris, can you start pre-jacking him?
Speaker 6:I'll try to wake him up. Um what? I'm going to just dry him off first, and I'll use Prestidigitation to try to get the water whatever's left.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he needs.
Speaker 2:How dry do you want it? I want it as dry as a cigar digger.
Speaker 1:Wait, you said the man needs clarity of mind.
Speaker 3:And he needs some him time Like what am I missing?
Speaker 1:Am I the?
Speaker 3:stupid one here. No, no, no, it's the DM who's wrong. Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 5:Okay, it's the DM who's wrong. Yeah, 100%. I love how our notes have just turned into random memes there's notes in there the entire night. The memes are way better, though, and they tell a story.
Speaker 4:I can see mores what you beat me to do what?
Speaker 3:sorry, maybe you would understand it. Like uh humors or vapors or I don't know what kind of backwards science you guys understand, but it's actually it's. It's just magic, like I'll tell you guys someday. So, uh, but if he doesn't release his uh special magic, then uh, he will never again be, the same.
Speaker 6:Okay, well, uh, yeah Does anybody know Mage Hand? Yes, but uh, do you?
Speaker 3:have a particularly soft version or is it like? Do you have like ultra grip I?
Speaker 6:do have.
Speaker 3:Is there a medium and large?
Speaker 6:size to your. The one could probably hurt him, though I don't think he's ready. He doesn't look like he has any condition for that.
Speaker 2:So keep in mind, the entire crew is standing around you all while you're having this conversation.
Speaker 6:So keep in mind. The entire crew is standing around you all. While you're having this conversation, morse still has one hand on this guy's chest. After this wave of magic just pushed all the water out of his clothing, morse is still sitting here. It's a dude Tiefling, right? Yes, okay, just making sure I'm not groping an unconscious lady, okay, so still turning and talking with Nines, I think, can. I think he's going to need some time for that. Could I try something first, and then Maybe that will come about, naturally.
Speaker 3:Okay, if you know some Other way to untangle key, then I guess just try your Simple holistic healing or whatever. Monty will Step in simple holistic healing or whatever.
Speaker 5:Monty will step in and he'll say maybe first before all, that we should just try this, and he'll hold open his hand and cast Cure Wounds, and so he makes a little heart, and then he'll just kind of push the heart down at the tiefling and it'll go into his chest and I'll cast a first level Cure Wounds on him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the tiefling sits straight up as soon as you cast a spell. Then he's looking around and he's obviously very confused about where he is and he says when are my pants? I heard something about a fluffer.
Speaker 5:Brandon gives the party somebody to save and we try to jerk him off first. Where?
Speaker 1:are we going?
Speaker 5:Oh no.
Speaker 1:We did it Nine.
Speaker 5:Nine's really wanted us to. I mean, brandon did say no, no, no.
Speaker 3:Apparently, you guys have this Shortcut where you can just Detangle somebody's key.
Speaker 1:So whatever I didn't realize.
Speaker 3:I was amongst divinity over here, when you can just Unjack somebody's Like Whatever it's fine. I'm not, and just like unjack somebody's like Hot, Whatever it's fine.
Speaker 1:It's fine, your weight works too.
Speaker 3:I'm not angry Um.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, he sits up and he starts saying when am I? Where am I? No, no, no, no, it's not safe. There's shapes in the faces. There's shapes in the faces. There's faces in the shapes. You should have left me. You should have left me there. Calm down, Steve.
Speaker 6:Looks at Nines. Looks at Nines.
Speaker 3:Sorry, okay, sorry, continue.
Speaker 4:Continue. I mean, we could probably chuck you back over.
Speaker 2:You should, you should, you should, you should. Don't let me stay here. It's already here, it's already inside the ship the faces, the faces and the shapes.
Speaker 4:Glintark starts taking a couple of steps forward.
Speaker 5:Monty will stop him and put a hand on his head. Glentark starts taking a couple of steps forward with myself. My name is Montoga Montoya Nigor. My friends and I here we have fetched you from the sea. Where do you?
Speaker 2:come from. So I want to make one thing clear Monty stops Glenn, the same guy that took two snake fangs and pushed it into a tied-up victim.
Speaker 5:Yeah, she was bad though.
Speaker 2:This person's good Alright.
Speaker 5:She said bad, mean things to him and hurt his feelings.
Speaker 2:Okay, just making sure. As a DM, I was trying to understand Monty's alignment.
Speaker 5:I don't see the problem with all this.
Speaker 2:Okay. So the tiefling says I'm from another ship. Another ship, it took control. It doesn't just, it doesn't kill you like a beast or a monster, it doesn't have to. It becomes you. It looks like you, it laughs like you. Montio kind of turned and looked to the captain.
Speaker 5:It becomes you. It looks like you, it laughs like you. Monty will kind of turn and look to the captain and, quizzically, have you heard of anything like this in these waters?
Speaker 2:No, I have not heard of anything like this. Is this a threat to my crew and Tiefling? Sorry, go ahead, Bill.
Speaker 4:So Glenn is going to step forward and use his panache to either a hostile creature can taunt, but also the other part of it can turn non-hostile to Basically charm friendly. To use that to calm them down using a persuasion check.
Speaker 5:Alright give me a persuasion check.
Speaker 4:So luckily I am proficient. So that moves from a 17 to a 22.
Speaker 2:So what do you say to him?
Speaker 4:Glen will go down on one knee and say calm down, we are here to help you tell us what you know. But calm down. He gives him the sh-finger.
Speaker 2:He booped him.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay, so calm down, everything is going to be fine. We are here to help you. We pulled you out of the water. Well, the boat in the water, but let's not get into semantics. But everything's going to be fine. And he'll keep repeating in a slow, calm voice, the exact opposite of the way Glenn normally talks.
Speaker 5:Look at Glenn de-escalating. This is great. It's a new leaf, level 12.
Speaker 2:Until the tiefling says something bad, and then he's just going to stab him repeatedly.
Speaker 4:Oh, his hand's on his dagger.
Speaker 2:You can see this tiefling calm down and he says, he takes a deep breath and he says sorry, my name is he.
Speaker 2:Uh, he says he takes a deep breath and he says Sorry, my name is Kalthor. I was on another ship. It was taken over by something, some creature, some monster. It's something. It's not a beast, it's not even. It's not a kraken, it's something. It's not a beast, it's not even a kraken. It's something older. It's wrong. The air around it feels bad. It came from below. We thought we were just pulling salvage out of the water and instead it started to take us. It took everything it wanted our faces, our memories, our voices. It we. We didn't know until it was too late. I thought I escaped, but it was with me and now it's here. I I don't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry where is it?
Speaker 2:you say it's here. Where is it? It could be anywhere you can't. It could be anywhere you can't trust anybody. You can't trust me, you can't trust you. It could be you, it could be me, I don't know.
Speaker 5:Monty turns and looks at the camera and says I can't trust that we're going to make it to Dead Pell Shadows on time. That smells like another side quest, he returns his attention to the tiefling.
Speaker 2:You didn't think I was going to give you a voyage without something, right Could?
Speaker 5:have Not like we're on a timeline or anything Could have, could have, and you guys arrive at Dead Pell Shadows the next day and you guys arrive at Dead Pell Shadows the next day.
Speaker 2:Do you hear that? Do you hear it? The sound? It's calling us, it's calling me, it wants me back.
Speaker 5:Monty looks to the captain and says as much as it is nice to save this person from the sea, maybe we should look to some place for possible confinement. I'm not sure if he's quite of his right mind. While he gets better, perhaps is there someone that could potentially help. Do you have a healer on board or a cleric of any type?
Speaker 3:Or a chaplain or an aasimar chaplain.
Speaker 4:If only there was an aasimar chaplain.
Speaker 2:Keep going up. A very beautiful woman walks up and she takes the hand of the tiefling and she almost with one arm. She helps him up with one arm, she helps him up to his feet and she leads him towards the captain's stateroom.
Speaker 5:Monty will follow.
Speaker 4:So will Glenn.
Speaker 2:And you hear her saying soothing words and she starts saying things like everything will be okay, Please come with me.
Speaker 5:We will heal you. And Glint's just concerned because this guy's getting in the room, isn't he?
Speaker 2:Right, that's exactly it.
Speaker 4:He was concerned about the guy.
Speaker 5:Not anymore. Now it's his room, or is this guy trying?
Speaker 6:to find a clear spot and he's going to plop down on the ground and start casting detect magic to see if he can see anything around us or coming for us.
Speaker 2:Okay, as a ritual, I'm assuming. So while that is going on, monty, I would like you to roll me a perception check perception, corner it up.
Speaker 5:Passive is a 16, but I got a plus 6, so might be better. Hey, there we go.
Speaker 2:23 all right, monty, see out of the corner of your eye. You see what looks like movement, and when you turn your head to look at it, there's nothing there.
Speaker 5:It looks like it kind of sank back into the mast of the ship, almost like a shadow retreating reading okay, uh, monty will quickly kind of turn and look at the, uh say, the mast of a ship, of the ship where he saw a shadow, and it's like the shadow sinks back into the mast as quickly as it was there and there was nothing and monty slightly questions if it exists but deep down knows that he just saw something, but doesn't raise any kind of alarm, just notes it to himself and keeps following the ASMR.
Speaker 3:Okay, nines begins to glance around Like he's seeing something right. He can tell he uh, even to the point of looking where the tiefling is looking and he starts to kind of nod along and is like, yeah, the faces, the faces are in the ship.
Speaker 2:So the datalorian turns to your nines and says what did you just say?
Speaker 3:Nines will look to the datalorian and say I'm sorry, what?
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I must be, there must be something wrong. And he starts to walk towards his own cabin following the aasimar.
Speaker 3:No, I think I said the places are going to slip, don't worry about it.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter. That might be what I have heard. Yes, Okay, so it is midnight right now. How does everybody feel?
Speaker 6:I gotta get up pretty early tomorrow. You wanna call it. I have an 8am VA thing.
Speaker 2:Sorry, alright, so we will start up the unspeakable below decks at the next session. Excuse me, what? Oh, nothing, don't worry about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we don't speak about it, it's unspeakable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's unspeakable.
Speaker 2:All right, that's where we're going to end it for the night. I want to say thank you to everybody who found us liking us, giving us ideas. It means a lot to us. Make sure you're following us on social media at facebookcom slash ADNDstory, retweet us on Twitter or ex at ADDstory2. Follow us on Instagram instagramcom slash ADNDstory. And one more time I want to shout out RunDMG. Make sure you check him out at DMG. Underscore. Run Awesome DM. He's got a lot of good content out there. He makes a lot of homebrew items. And, brandon, if you wouldn't mind taking us out tonight, absolutely.
Speaker 3:You know how it'd be when you're hanging out with an ASMR cleric. You got to keep it flirty, but while you're doing that, go ahead and keep it nerdy.
Speaker 6:It's being nerdy, it's being nerdy, it's being nerdy. Thanks everybody.
Speaker 1:Thank you.