A D&D Story
We are a Podcast playing DND 5E. A homebrew campaign filled with adventures, misadventures, love and punishing the stupid. A brand new Dungeon Master builds a world for far more experienced players as they navigate through the various dangers. Recommended for ages 18 and up.
A D&D Story
Episode 84: Jump in the Hole, Ask Questions Later: Adventures in Magical Chaos
now recording I thought you just looked straight at your child. I was like get the fuck out of here, kid. Welcome to dnd story. I am brennan the archbookie, and with me today is bill hello, I am bill.
Speaker 4:I play glenn, the half-elf rogue swashbuckler and Maddie.
Speaker 5:Hi everybody, my name is Maddie. I play Montoya Inigo the Arctic Tabaxi Ranger.
Speaker 3:And Brandon hey Brandon.
Speaker 2:Hello, I play Nines the high elf way of the. Slap you in the face, monk, oh.
Speaker 3:I was not aware of that subclass. Yeah, it's new oh okay, oh, homebrew aware of that subclass.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's new, oh, okay 2024.
Speaker 3:Oh, homebrew baby.
Speaker 6:And Justin Hi Brennan. Hello Hi everybody. I'm Justin. I'm playing Sam Morsbound. She's a half-orc barbarian of the Path of the Storm Herald.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, the last name. That's right, I forgot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay. So I want to say thank you everybody for following us, thanks for giving us ideas. It means a lot to us. Make sure you're giving us a like and a follow on Facebook at facebookcom slash ADNDstory. Retweet us on Twitter or ex at ADDstory2. And make sure you check us out on Instagram at instagramcom slash ADND story. Finally, because I'm not prepared and I'm not used to doing this, if there is a new couple of social media platforms out there, we're going to start spreading out to those. We do have a blue sky now.
Speaker 3:Spreading out, spreading out, we're spreading, so we do have a blue sky now. Make sure you check us out on blue sky at a D&D story, yeah, so go check that out. It's got a mix between Twitter and Instagram and I like it a lot. It's got a cool feel to it.
Speaker 2:And which billionaire owns it?
Speaker 3:None that I know of nice I thought you were about to drop me some knowledge that I didn't know.
Speaker 2:I mean there's there's always a little bit of drama going on behind the scenes, so I don't want to like say anything for sure right now, because maybe blue sky is owned by island owners, if you know what I mean yes, yes where aircrafts often land.
Speaker 3:I'll just leave it at that yeah, I think we're picking it up. Okay, and I wanted to take a quick moment to shout out hexwood creations. Make sure you check them out at instagram at hexwood creations, he makes a bunch of little cool dice boxes and dice towers Pretty much anything you want. Nerdy, he does with wood, so go check him out. He's a very talented artist.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, he does dirty things with wood. Yeah, dirty and nerdy. Yeah, nerdy dirty stuff. Oh hell, yeah, it's been dirty. All right, let's roll for some recap. Everybody except for Justin, because he did last week's.
Speaker 6:Hey, that's me.
Speaker 2:Ooh, almost rolled a one, but I got a seven.
Speaker 3:Nice Not good.
Speaker 5:I'm ready though.
Speaker 3:I got a three.
Speaker 5:Best roll of the night.
Speaker 3:I think this one's you, bill, all right.
Speaker 4:So we were spit out from a portal. We landed in a forest.
Speaker 2:Hold on, yeah, like a dreamlike forest, some might say, filled with an unnatural storm even.
Speaker 4:Yep and spitting lightning and balls of magical energy, floating islands crashing into each other and the ground in the distance. Arcane miasma is making us sluggish with its potency. Yeah, I just read that. Did I say that that doesn't sound like a word I would use? Yes, with its potency?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I just read that.
Speaker 2:Did I say that that doesn't sound like a word I would use. Yes, no, he was quoting me actually.
Speaker 1:That was my description that.
Speaker 2:I wrote in our forum, got it Okay.
Speaker 4:I would assume that you got the miasma from him, but anyway, doctors don't know where it came from again, medical miracle. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm trying to. I'm kind of at a loss right now, so uh, tag me in, bro, I got you.
Speaker 2:yeah, all right, take it, okay. Uh, yeah. So after we came through the portal where everything sucks, we noticed that Sam now has a kick-ass tattoo of mores and bean sprout on her left forearm, which is super neat, and we see a lightning strike and a column of smoke and a scream to the north, only to find a couple of burnt corpses Burnt beyond recognition, and we can see purple and green magic sparking from their body and even trying to investigate and encountering a heavy magical aura. Monty took some damage from that, but at least Glenn was able to find some loot. His one and only goal loot that body. He got it. He got a potion of mind reading and a spell of programmed illusion, spell scroll of programmed illusion.
Speaker 2:And then we see these cathedral ruins where Glenn scouts ahead of programmed illusion. And then we see these cathedral ruins where Glynn scouts ahead and finds this cathedral that depicts Mystra, the greater goddess of magic, known for sacrificing herself to save the Weave. Which is all of magic, right, like that's the ley lines and that's the force itself, basically. And then inside there was a large dragon skeleton curled in a corner. Or am I misplacing this? No, no, no, that's right, okay. And so curled within kind of the safety of this dead dragon skeleton was a floating blue crystal hovering just above the ground and there was a tiefling, a drow and a half-elf arguing nearby. And we very stealthily crept around with nobody any of the wiser that we were there, with nobody any the wiser that we were there, but I think somebody made a noise or something. I'm not sure, but we ended up falling into by nobody's fault.
Speaker 3:we we ended up into combat right, that's exactly how I remember it as well. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2:And we figured out that each of these three people had names Not sure if they're super important, but Falanor, matchless and Judira and we kicked their asses and then we loot that body and we got a couple of whatevers and then, oh, we broke the crystal at some point to try to distract them, maybe no to de-escalate?
Speaker 4:Oh, to de-escalate, yeah, Because they were all arguing about the crystal. I remember. That's where I remember from.
Speaker 2:They were arguing over the crystal and we're like, well, what if we just break their toy? Maybe they will just calm down.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it did not work Perfectly reasonable.
Speaker 5:Go figure.
Speaker 2:And so, after a couple of failed attempts, the crystal called to Nines, and so Nines picked it up and the crystal started speaking to him. And after a couple of false starts, he did eventually speak Mystra's's name, which kind of activated the crystal. Um, and he saw this vision of a vast empire of uncontrolled magic, uh, and islands consumed by fire, twisted landscapes and mages destroyed by their own spells. And the crystal says to him you know, history repeats, I am Mystra and I need you again. And Nines was given a level 7 spell for his efforts, did you?
Speaker 3:choose that spell.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I'm going with Force Cage. That's a good spell which it's like you can. You can put an hour-long invisible prison around something. Uh, it could be completely encased or like with bars so air could get in. That'd be fun to imprison a creature in an invisible force field for an hour and watch them suffocate and see their life.
Speaker 3:Oh my god.
Speaker 2:Their life deep in their eyes. That'd be so cool.
Speaker 5:Can we put a fish in there or something? No, they go in bags of holding, let it drown Out of water, no water.
Speaker 2:Damn, that's torturous bro.
Speaker 5:We've never done that before.
Speaker 6:I did not kill the fish, it was fine.
Speaker 5:It definitely died. It was fine.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah, sorry, I did poorly at recapping. Well, actually I threw my voice to make it sound like the second Brandon. There you go. Well, brandon, you get some inspiration. Hey-o, it sound like the second we're ending there, you go.
Speaker 3:Well, Brandon, you get some inspiration.
Speaker 2:Hey-o, I will forget to use that immediately.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're not going to be able to do it like this much longer, because inspiration in 2024 is very different.
Speaker 5:How does it work? In the other one it's strange, it's like it's called Hero Inspiration, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:We should play Draw Steel instead.
Speaker 3:I mean, I'm down to play Draw Steel. You knew that. Let's do it Alright.
Speaker 2:We're doing Draw Steel instead. Let's go.
Speaker 3:You heard it here first Brandon's going to DM a Draw Steel game. So if you're interested in coming in and playing with us for an offshoot or listening to it, make sure you check out our Patreon. That will be up soon.
Speaker 2:We're making promises now, boy, just doing it.
Speaker 3:I know you can't tell, but I was staring right at you.
Speaker 4:Heroic inspiration is just you get to immediately re-roll a die after rolling it, but you have to chase the re-roll die.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 4:Oh so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you must use the new roll.
Speaker 4:So it's. I mean, we've been using it wrong the whole most of the time anyway. So 100% and we'll probably use it wrong, wait you guys have been using inspiration wrong.
Speaker 2:It's just advantage on a roll, right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you guys have been using inspiration wrong, it's just advantage on a roll, right, yeah, but you have to use it before you throw the die and we don't wait until we throw a bad throw.
Speaker 2:You guys haven't been doing that Sometimes.
Speaker 3:That's right, it's all for fun and the points don't matter. And the points do not matter, alright, yeah, so, like Brandon said, you guys just finished a battle with the three mages arguing over the crystal Warb, not Warbond, nines. Nines has picked up the crystal and the crystal has given Nines some of its power, as well as a vision. And Nines, do you remember that vision?
Speaker 2:yeah, it was like an apocalyptic future where everything sucked magically.
Speaker 3:Yeah, basically yeah, the laws of magic were ripped apart and there was no order to it.
Speaker 2:Cats and dogs living together.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, basically wild magic, just twisting landscape all around you. And so, just coming off of that, you guys have looted the bodies, you've found a bunch stuff and as, as you all start to settle, your nerves have started coming down, uh, your adrenaline starting to come down a little bit. Uh, out through um, out through the crystal, you hear a voice and nines, you recognize it from the visions that you, that you saw before, and the voice that you heard and it's kind of unintelligible. You can't really make sense of what it's saying to you, but you feel it's emotion behind what it's trying to say and it's a pleading almost. It wants you to go and find these other crystals and put magic back where it belongs altogether. And as the voice starts to come down from the crystal, the ground starts to tremble and the earth sinks. And right next to the dragon carcass or dragon skeleton, the earth sinks and forms a staircase leading down Hell.
Speaker 4:Yeah, bill or Clint carcass or dragon skeleton the earth sinks and forms a staircase leading down. Hell yeah, bill, or so when's the voice out loud? Or was it just in nine's head?
Speaker 3:no, it was out loud and what did it say? You couldn't make out the actual words. None of you speak celestial right, uh nine, do you actually?
Speaker 5:speak celestial I actually do yeah, I used to. At one point I removed that language from monty when I reworked him of course not because you can't.
Speaker 4:You all, I think whenever you're going to speak a language, you check on glenn's character sheet and make sure that it's not there?
Speaker 3:Well, I used to just prepare to speak anything, because Mors had that damn helmet I gave him.
Speaker 6:And the passive I took.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, and the passive, that's right.
Speaker 2:Wait, no, on top of that, I don't know that it actually matters what languages I speak, because, yeah, I understand all spoken languages and any creature that can understand a language can understand what Nines has to say. And that's the tongue of the sun and moon. That was my 13th level thing that I got.
Speaker 3:Okay, I should put that in my languages.
Speaker 2:Fucking every language, biatch, biatch. I should put that in my languages Fucking every language, biatch. I'm gonna. I can't.
Speaker 3:I'm making a note so I don't forget that next time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm looking in the E's for every language and I'm not finding it. Oh nope, it was under the A's for all Right. All that makes sense.
Speaker 6:I thought it might be under the O for Omniverse. It's first.
Speaker 3:Nice, the nines.
Speaker 2:What you actually hear right is oh wait, no, it was garbled at first. That's fine. I'm going to shake the shit out of it. Yeah, I'm going to really hold it to my ear and be like what did you just say? Really hold it to my ear, what?
Speaker 4:did you just say A couple of the cracks kind of realign so that the frequency is back where it's supposed to be. The reverberation.
Speaker 3:Nines, you start understanding this garble halfway through a sentence, and it's chosen not by fate, but by the will of magic itself. That is not a female voice. Each shard you reclaim will mend the weave, bringing us one step closer to restoring what was lost and thrown into chaos. Follow the echoes of power, seek the places where air hums with forgotten spells, where the earth remembers the touch of gods, and keep. Keep on the lookout of Talos. Now go before the darkness moves ahead of you. Restore what was broken, restore me.
Speaker 2:Damn, we got to go find the infinity uh the crystal magic A different cinematic universe.
Speaker 3:I will have you know I'm 90% positive that Crystal started before Endgame. Not totally positive.
Speaker 2:Can you put the poem in chat for us?
Speaker 4:Yes, I'm going to say that the Endgame and that whole storyline has been around for a while. Yeah, you got me there.
Speaker 6:I was really hoping you were going to just roll in like help me, obi-wan Kenobi.
Speaker 4:That would have been good. So are you sharing this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, put it in the chat.
Speaker 4:I'm talking about nines, because sometimes he shares and sometimes he doesn't, that's true. I mean I can't really say anything. Glenn frequently doesn't share as well.
Speaker 2:Nines is going to just kind of hold the crystal in his hand and respond, and everybody's going to get this second hand phone conversation in common tongue Like yeah, uh-huh, oh, really, okay, okay, next shard Cursed water. That's weird. And then turn to the party and be like did you guys hear that? Can you believe this?
Speaker 4:Just maybe making some assumptions. As per usual, there's lots of languages being spoken that make no sense and Glint shakes his head. Stupid gods.
Speaker 3:At least it wasn't in Dwarven this time.
Speaker 4:It's all the same. So what did they say?
Speaker 2:So nines will absolutely translate and I'd probably say it or minimize it in a bunch of fun ways, but basically we have to leave, I think.
Speaker 5:Leave and go where. I'm guessing we're supposed to go down the stairs Sounds good to me.
Speaker 4:So did you mention the Talos thing?
Speaker 5:Would you have?
Speaker 4:mentioned it. It's a reference to a god.
Speaker 2:I mean, I would have translated it faithfully so that everybody has the same information, but I actually don't know what the shit you're talking about.
Speaker 4:In the first paragraph.
Speaker 3:Yeah, at the very end I told you to keep an eye out for Talos, Right?
Speaker 4:Yes, I actually didn't have it in this little chat thing, but it's yes, beware of Talos, Right?
Speaker 3:Yes, I actually didn't have it in this little chat thing, but it's yes, beware of Talos.
Speaker 2:Oh, I stopped paying attention when you were saying it, just assuming that you would post the entire. That's fair, okay, talos. Yeah, of course I would. Yeah, like easily, and I knew immediately what you were talking about. Note to Andrew can you edit that part out please?
Speaker 4:So knew immediately what you were talking about. Note to Andrew can you edit that part out please? So Glenn, when he hears Talos, will open up his big book of gods and see what information he has.
Speaker 3:So when you go through the table of contents for Talos, that page is ripped out of your book.
Speaker 4:Brings for me, how would that happen? Ripped out of your book, it means for me how would that happen?
Speaker 2:Dun, dun dun.
Speaker 4:Which page was it?
Speaker 3:271.
Speaker 4:Holy crap, this book is big 271.
Speaker 3:I'm just finding out how big it is as well.
Speaker 4:He's got a little pamphlet that just lists the name of every god, and that's it they each have their own page, though he tried to stack Mystra on the same page as somebody true, you are keeping better track of what pages and what gods, better than I am.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you that that's it.
Speaker 4:It's just a list of each reference of a page, but, and it's ripped out really, yes, um, so glenn will say that I'm sorry, go ahead justice could we make it like a religion check to know?
Speaker 3:oh yeah, absolutely, absolutely yeah. Uh roll me a religion check when you guys hear the name of Talos.
Speaker 2:Sounds like some sort of Claude.
Speaker 6:What's a 20 minus 1?
Speaker 3:That's a 19, justin, that's simple math, man.
Speaker 4:So do I get an advantage, since I have a big book of gods?
Speaker 3:No, Talos isn't there.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I wrote it.
Speaker 3:Yes, but because of your background you get advantage. Not that it mattered.
Speaker 4:I got one higher.
Speaker 3:What did you roll, Bill?
Speaker 4:A three and a four.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:And I have a plus zero.
Speaker 3:Alright, would Nines and Monty roll for this or care about this? For knowing who Talos is Talos was yes, I mean religion is a little bit my jam.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give it to me, roll it. Ioun says that Talos is a 26 total.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, really. Yeah, I rolled a 19.
Speaker 2:I have a plus 7 on religion.
Speaker 3:You're a monk bro.
Speaker 1:What do you think they?
Speaker 3:do. I don't know If I had to base what I know off monks on what you've told me.
Speaker 2:These are non-canon monks.
Speaker 4:Glenn will have his book out and he'll be looking and he's flipping back and forth in his book. He said I know Talos is a god, but I somebody ripped his page out of my book. Yeah, it's right, between Talok and Talot I can't.
Speaker 2:it's right between Talok and Talot.
Speaker 4:I don't know why you would think it's in alphabetical order. It's in a very specific order.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 3:So yeah, sam and Nine, do you guys know that Talos is known? He's basically the Odin of this universe. So he's a broad-shouldered, bearded man with the single good eye. He typically goes into battle with half-plate armor over black leather, wears black leather gloves, uses a spear or an axe. With lightning. He's known as the God of Storms and Fury. With lightning, he's known as the god of storms and fury. He's a very violent, angry, short-tempered god that's frequently motivated by his own emotions and passion. He could be roused to cause destruction at the smallest offenses and he holds grudges for centuries. He has been known to hold a grudge against Mistra for years or for millennia, based off of a failed relationship with her a long, long time ago. Nines, something you know over that, something you also know is pretty much everybody hates Talos. He has no shortage of enemies and his worshippers known as the Church of Talos. They are zealots. They are typically barbarians, sorcerers, wizards or stormlords, and they will go to war at the slightest provocation if they thought it pleased Talos.
Speaker 2:Damn. Okay, I was going to make up some shit about Talos, about how he is the god of in Ninth's universe, that he's the god of impotent fury and petty rage. He kind of is, but I don't know that that would be as helpful in this case, given your own description, so I will leave it at that extra knowledge that I have so Glenn is going to be updating his book to replace the received information he's just writing it on the cover no, he's
Speaker 4:going to use mending and put it back together again.
Speaker 3:Okay, Sam and Nines, are you guys sharing this information with Glenn? Okay, cool. So as you're standing there, there's a breeze. You all feel a breeze and a stale smell come from the staircase. It's a cold, damp breeze, but you also feel just raw power coming out with that wind and it kind of just slaps you all in the face a little bit. I need you all to make me a constitution saving throw.
Speaker 4:The wind coming out of the hole in the ground.
Speaker 2:Okay, Would you say its power level is over 9,000? Over 9,000,?
Speaker 3:right Low 9,000. Low 9000. Constitution saving throws.
Speaker 2:My god Will a 17 do me.
Speaker 3:It will.
Speaker 6:This is a DC 11.
Speaker 4:Hell yeah 14.
Speaker 6:6 plus 10 for a 16.
Speaker 3:Oof Sam is good at some Constitution Alright, so you all save. But you do feel that power hit you in the chest and you just stop it from pushing you back and knocking you prone. But you know that there's some real power coming from that entrance.
Speaker 2:Is it a worrying amount of power? Knowing our own power, Would you say it's like worth 4-ish level 13s. Or are we saying challenge rating?
Speaker 3:Let me ask you this question Would nines care? Nah, you're right.
Speaker 4:Would anybody in the party really care?
Speaker 2:I mean, what the fuck do you want me to do?
Speaker 3:You guys have gotten rid of the worry warts. You guys are just all jumpers.
Speaker 4:That power coming from there is a little spicy, let's go boys. Sam is the most cautious and she's a barbarian Right.
Speaker 6:She was also fairly new to adventuring and has since then sworn an oath to protect you guys. So if you're jumping, she's a barbarian Right. She was also, like, fairly new to adventuring and has since then sworn an oath to protect you guys. So if you're jumping, she's jumping.
Speaker 4:So Glenn will enter the hole, yeah, and he will shift into, like he will like. Can you describe the stairway? Yeah, is it? Just an open stairway it's moist.
Speaker 3:Is it a moist hole. It is actually pretty dry. I've heard that everybody. No, it's a, so it is stone steps down, but they're natural rocks that are forming the stone, so the stairs are a little uneven. The stairs are a little damp, moist, if you will, and you can see that there is water on the sides of the walls as you start descending the staircase.
Speaker 2:Nines is going to slip in the sloppy second place behind Glenn.
Speaker 4:Okay, so he's going to do cartwheels down there and how far?
Speaker 6:down, is it?
Speaker 3:The staircase descends about 150 feet. It's a deep hole.
Speaker 4:That probably would have been a good question to ask at the beginning, but Glenn just goes in. He did jump through a portal.
Speaker 2:Is there any kind of light or anything coming from the bottom it?
Speaker 3:says right here I have dark vision yes, oh hold on. Thank you, please. Does everybody else have dark vision?
Speaker 4:Glenn has dark vision.
Speaker 3:Perfect, 60 feet, okay Monty. I need to vision. Perfect, only to 60 feet, okay Monty.
Speaker 5:Uh, I need to check. Yep, yep, I do.
Speaker 3:Okay, good, this will definitely change what will happen in this cave. So as you start descending, you start seeing like a dim natural light coming off of some moss and lichen or some lichen that is growing on the walls of the cave. So there is a dim light as you descend hell yeah, but I have dark vision yes, just like nines, just like that can we turn off the dim light? I don't want that I mean, if you guys keep going in the next couple episodes, you, you will be in a true dark room.
Speaker 2:Okay, we continue, uh, deeper into the hole. Perfect, trying, trying to hit all the walls.
Speaker 4:Keep pushing into the hole.
Speaker 3:That's right. So you guys go deeper and deeper and into the hole.
Speaker 2:Since we bottomed out a few inches in. Yeah, what next? Do we just pull back out or Just run up and down the stairs.
Speaker 3:So you get to the bottom of the staircase and you see a large room spanning in front of you. So you step into this vast chamber and you can see on the walls that there are crumbling arcane symbols and they seem to be shifting and rewriting themselves across the walls and the floors. Because of that, you have these red fractures and lines kind of just going through the floor and it changes every couple seconds. You can see a pattern too, but it's a little hard to identify when you first glance at it. The air itself is crackling with raw, untamed energy. It's that same energy you felt with the crystal above you Untrimmed energy, untrimmed, untrimmed and untamed.
Speaker 3:And you kind of have that scent of ozone and burning paper in your nostrils untrimmed and it has a scent it's got a scent, yeah yeah, so, um, in the room itself, you can see that the floor is made from obsidian, um, but the the fractures themselves are blue, violet and red. As they're kind of going through the floor, you can see floating chunks of stone and debris. In the very center of the room, you see a suspended crystal in midair, similar to the one you saw above, and the crystal is spinning extremely quickly. It's revealing different colors of blue red purple, but it is a blue crystal itself, blue red purple, but it is a blue crystal itself. And then, right around the crystal, between the crystal and those red swirling patterns, you see on the floor, you see a pit with this green glow coming up from it and you can't see what's in the pit, but you do see chunks of rocks floating around that pit.
Speaker 2:This is right underneath the crystal. You said.
Speaker 3:Right under the crystal is stone. Right around that stone is that green glow, and then there's the red fractures. Where's the pit?
Speaker 4:You said there was a pit right.
Speaker 3:I'm going to share. Uh-oh, there's a battle map. Look out, boys, all right. As you enter the room maybe I described this poorly and out boys, all right. So as you enter the room, maybe I described this poorly, and that's on me. As you enter the room, immediately in front of you, you see those red rotating patterns on the floor. Okay, closer to the crystal, you then see a pit surrounding the crystal itself, with a green glow coming up and chunks of floating rocks in there are floating around that pit. And then, in the very center of the room, floating above a small pillar of stone, is that blue crystal.
Speaker 2:Okay, so we're going to have to jump or fly, or jump, fly.
Speaker 3:You guys are going to have to get to it. Throw a knife at it. Throw two knives at it. Throw all the knives. All right, so I have started the session. If you guys want to join the map, Okay so it's a big pit. It's a big pit.
Speaker 2:yes, Ho, ho, yeah, that thing is, and we're in the pit.
Speaker 4:Yep, we're falling.
Speaker 3:I did it by accident.
Speaker 2:You did it again Did I it's a 60 foot pit.
Speaker 3:Oh, there it is. I was going to say Glenn's not here, so you guys are all back here.
Speaker 4:Oh, so the red or the Alright, I guess Glenn's at the crystal.
Speaker 3:Okay, so the goal is to get to the crystal. It's going to be a skill check to get there, uh, or skill check challenge. I will say there are a couple different phases of this, and so we're going to roll for some initiative, just so we can keep track of it all before we start, we can roll initiative.
Speaker 4:That's fine. Um, my question is is the the red fissures? Are they like five, ten feet wide, like they look? Yes, okay.
Speaker 3:And they are continuously rotating around and you can see that energy pulsing up from it and the ground is fracturing and rupturing in certain places, as that power just pulses through the ground.
Speaker 2:I kind of get the feeling we maybe want to avoid that.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I mean, like the, red, or this entire room altogether, probably.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we just turn around we could just leave.
Speaker 1:We don't have to be here. Nope, I'm out.
Speaker 2:I'm going to actually just throw Mistress Crystal into the pit and we run right, you guys with me.
Speaker 4:So, here's one of the things I don't like about the D&D system and the jumping has nothing to do with dexterity.
Speaker 2:Just jump. Are you going to put us into combat and we roll initiative, or do you want us to just roll?
Speaker 3:I do have the tracker here. But yes, please roll for initiative Ka-chow.
Speaker 4:We no longer can see the tracker, can we?
Speaker 1:Almost got a 20, but I ended up with a natural 7.
Speaker 4:I can't see it.
Speaker 3:What did you guys get? Let me see 7.
Speaker 5:4.
Speaker 3:Glenn got a 13.
Speaker 4:Keeping in mind, that's with a plus 9. Seven, four, yeah Four. Glenn got a 13. Keeping in mind, that's with a plus nine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and Stan, what'd you get?
Speaker 6:I'm very curious to find out myself. I rolled it. I don't know. I'm waiting to see.
Speaker 5:When you say this is a skill check bonus. Do you have to roll dice for skill checks? Yes, you do.
Speaker 3:Oh, skill check bonus do you have to roll dice for skill?
Speaker 5:checks. Yes, you do. Oh, okay, well, got any walls we can climb?
Speaker 6:I guess we fall in the pit, plus one for 20.
Speaker 3:20? All right, okay. So, sam, you are up first. The goal is I mean your goal should be based off of the mission Mistra gave you to get to the crystal.
Speaker 4:Do we really care about this, mistra chick?
Speaker 2:Listen, there was a whole vision. It's like Terminator 2, where she sees it in her mind and can't escape it. It's the apocalypse. We have to save the world.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I don't know that this group is the one that we should really be interested with saving the multiverse.
Speaker 2:Perfect, just like Guardians.
Speaker 4:Yep, ah, there you go, perfect, all right, Sorry, go ahead, you're fine Justice.
Speaker 6:So you mentioned the red pattern here. It's only on the ground, it's not in the air above it.
Speaker 3:Correct, it is only on the ground.
Speaker 6:So Sam's going to go over and Let me fix that.
Speaker 3:There is energy coming up from those fissures and you can see ruptures popping up every once in a while. Is it hot?
Speaker 6:above it. We feel heat coming from it.
Speaker 3:You guys can feel the magic energy coming from it, not necessarily heat.
Speaker 6:Okay, it seems malevolent, I'm assuming.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it seems pretty bad. You shouldn't touch it. I'm gonna touch it. I'm gonna touch the butt. Yeah, sam kneels down and just like, puts like her pinky finger gently onto the red surface to see what happens yeah, as soon as that rupture comes towards you, you feel a searing pain in your pinky and as you yank your finger back, the tip of your finger has turned black. Ah shit, you can no longer feel the nerves at the very end of your finger.
Speaker 2:Yeah, put it directly in your mouth Sam Jesus Christ.
Speaker 6:I'm going to take it Sam dies.
Speaker 3:Mors is just in the afterlife. Like come on man.
Speaker 6:I gave up myself for that that you're dead two episodes later just because I'm curious, are we standing on like earth, or is it stone in here? It's obsidian, obsidian. Okay, yeah, that changes. I'm not gonna try to shovel that then. Uh, cool, then I'm not going to try to shovel that then. Cool, then I'm just going to wiggle my finger at the other guys Don't touch that. This hurts real bad. And then I'm going to jump across and make room for them. Actually, I have enough move speed probably to jump across and get into here Just outside the pit.
Speaker 3:Sure, give me either an athletics or an acrobatics check. Actually you're jumping, so that'd be athletics, correct?
Speaker 6:Athletics Okay.
Speaker 3:You should be good at this.
Speaker 6:Well, yeah, I got a plus nine, but I rolled a three, so we'll see how the mundane action affects me, so how does jumping mechanic work?
Speaker 3:It's an athletics role. I mean, the reason it's athletics role here is because of the shifting fissures underneath. It was just a normal.
Speaker 2:So it's not like yeah, direct mechanical jumping based on strength. Yeah, this is a check.
Speaker 3:OK, yeah, exactly If it was just a normal jump, I think Sam's got a jump range of like 30 feet or something like that, especially with a running start. Yeah, so, sam, as you jump the fissures, you misjudge the fissures underneath you and it does shift, just as you're about the land. You manage to avoid it, but you fall backwards into the middle area just to avoid those fissures. But you do feel that energy from your right. You feel the energy on the right side kind of push towards you and I need you to give me a con save please 14, plus 10 for 24.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that does save. You are going to take half, so oh, not that bad. Three force damage Three force damage.
Speaker 6:You got it. We didn't short rest or anything after the last combat, right? No, you didn't. I still got well over 100 HP, I'm okay.
Speaker 4:Why would we do that All right, glenn, you didn't, I still got well over 100 HP, I'm okay why?
Speaker 3:would we do that? Alright, Glenn, you are up.
Speaker 4:So Glenn is looking at this trying to figure. He'll walk up to here and look across the fissure, keeping in mind that Sam said that it hurt and had trouble. He's trying to figure out a way that he can use some of his skills to his advantage, and he can't think of any really, um so glenn, what you do realize as you're, as you're starting to walk up, is these fissures?
Speaker 3:uh, you think maybe. So you can either try to figure out the pattern itself or you can try to just dodge them quick enough as they start to come up. Okay so Glenn will try to dodge them quick enough.
Speaker 4:Okay, give me an acrobatics roll and he will use a bonus action to give himself advantage on an acrobatics roll.
Speaker 3:With what With? This isn't like true combat right.
Speaker 4:It's just a bonus action on your turn to gain advantage on the next acrobatics or athletics check.
Speaker 3:It's not a turn oh.
Speaker 4:I'm not actually taking an action.
Speaker 2:It's a skill, check it's a story beat Did that land? Oh, I'm not actually taking an action.
Speaker 4:It's a skill check. Yeah, it's a story beat. Did that land? Oh, hold on.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was on nines. Okay, I was like plus 10 for acrobatics. That's wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just deciding.
Speaker 4:What did you?
Speaker 3:get Glenn.
Speaker 4:I got a 13.
Speaker 3:13. Okay, kind of similar. You know you jump up there to get in the uh in the area and and the, the fissures kind of shift under you. You weren't expecting it. You do make it pretty far, but, uh, you're in a safe space right now. The fissures are, are around you, but not go actively going in your area, but again you do feel that that, uh, that energy pulse towards you. I need you to make me a con save.
Speaker 5:Where did?
Speaker 4:you jump from. I jumped from that little peninsula but somehow, I'm sure because of my failed roll, I fell to the right Got it Correct.
Speaker 3:And keep in mind, these phasers are just so you guys get the picture. These things are ever-shifting, so we're just putting you there as we're going, Glenn you're going to take seven force damage.
Speaker 2:Okay, Nines you're up, buddy, all right. Nines is going to still his mind and very perfectly analyze the shifting patterns of these fissures using uh his incredibly adept insight. Okay, uh planning his route perfectly
Speaker 3:and then executing. I was going to say perception, but insight also works, because they're the same, it doesn't matter, oh yeah, I guess so Uh.
Speaker 2:so oh, rolled a 17 plus eight for a 25.
Speaker 3:Nice, yeah, Nines, as you start walking towards this, you're able to completely sense these chaotic patterns that Crystal is giving off and you're able to move accordingly. What the rest of you see as you're moving forward, as Nines starts walking forward, is it seems like he's just kind of stepping between the fissures as they're forming and he pretty easily makes it across. Did I move the wrong person At first? You did. Oh my bad. Alright, You're muted, I'm muted.
Speaker 5:I was muted and I was talking about moving. Go in the room.
Speaker 3:Alright, nines, as soon as you get to the other side, uh, you, you. To your left, you hear a large crack cracking sound and and this spectral figure appears before you. Um, just arguing with myself? Oh no, oh no, you do recognize this individual, just based off of your religion, your religion, abilities as illustrious silver hand, one of M Mystra's children that have perished, and she. Yes, very sad. She screams in a loud voice.
Speaker 5:No, no, you cannot take it.
Speaker 3:You must not take it and we are going to add her to the initiative track, but she's going to be after you guys, nuh-uh, silverhand your mom, said yes.
Speaker 4:Of course her mom said yes.
Speaker 3:Alright. Mister is practically a saint Monty, you're up buddy.
Speaker 4:She's a mother, so she's obviously giving it up. What the fuck.
Speaker 5:Monty's going to see what Nines did and he's going to try to do that thing. He's kind of looking down at the fissures moving and trying to figure out and calculate them so he can hopefully run across.
Speaker 2:Hands behind your back as well, the same way that Nines did.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he'll put his hands behind his back and really focus on to try to figure out so he can step in the same places okay, um, so all right, give me a an insight check.
Speaker 3:Typically, I would make these at disadvantage if you try to use the same skill twice, but because this is an environment and not an individual you're dealing against, it's fine trust me, disadvantage can't get any worse than a two for a nine. Yikes.
Speaker 5:That's three fails.
Speaker 3:Monty, as you start walking across same thing, you step on a crack and you broke your mother's back. Oh no, both my parents are dead.
Speaker 5:Whoa whoa.
Speaker 3:Broken back doesn't equal death instantly In the epoxy culture. You to put them down after that.
Speaker 2:Oh no, what the fuck.
Speaker 6:The only thing worse than a broken leg.
Speaker 3:So Monty falls to the side as he steps on one of these fissures and, monty, you feel the immediate force through your foot. It kind of shoots you upwards and I need you to make me a concept doesn't monty have an affinity for all kinds of fish, including fishers?
Speaker 2:Oh?
Speaker 3:that's a good point. You're muted. You're muted again, Matty.
Speaker 5:I need to stop and put myself on mute. Is this considered difficult terrain? Because I got some perks with that. Anyway, my con save was seven.
Speaker 3:Seven, that fails, you're going to take eight force damage.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 3:This is not going well and the crystal being interacted with a few times. You feel a pulse of energy kind of. You feel a pulse of energy kind of, or you see a pulse of energy shoot out and even the specter is hit by this and the specter falls to the side.
Speaker 2:Is it like the seismic charge from Star Wars. It is a seismic charge.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, and I need all of you to give me a. I will let you choose either a con save or a dex save, either one will be okay, here Come on now, all right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nines is going to backflip with a plus 11 for a 21. I'll take a 26.
Speaker 5:I do take a 26.
Speaker 4:So you're going to see Glenn standing there and just barely move, completely avoiding it with a 24. Perfect, almost no movement at all. The exact right amount of movement.
Speaker 3:Perfect. So as you guys move away from this, you all avoid the main brunt of the energy, but it does hit you and all of you are going to take 14 points of force damage and I don't want to do that, so I'm going to use my feature to just not take that Absolutely.
Speaker 5:Is it still my turn?
Speaker 2:It is. Can I evasion this?
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 2:That's what I just did oh because it's a save. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, it's a save. Yeah, oh yeah, and it was a dex save. Instead, take no damage. Yeah, screw you, brandon, never again.
Speaker 3:Never again.
Speaker 6:That was halved, the 14 was halved damage 14 was halved.
Speaker 5:I'm going to cast a cure wounds on myself at the third level. Sure, I'll take back 20 points.
Speaker 3:Damn.
Speaker 5:I'm down to 37.
Speaker 4:What were the two things that I picked up after the last fight. It's not in our notes and I didn't write it down.
Speaker 2:I have it here the potion scrolls that I picked up after the last fight. It's not in our notes and I didn't write it down, so I have it here the potion scrolls from the three that we killed. It was two scrolls of lightning, one intact greater healing potion, one scroll of fireball, two scrolls of misty step.
Speaker 6:And 19 gold.
Speaker 4:Oh well, okay, okay, thanks.
Speaker 5:See, I found a broken potion of greater healing and a greater healing potion, yep, and a scroll of fireball. Alright, is it broken potion of greater healing? That doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2:No, you don't get that, I don't think.
Speaker 3:I gave you a potion of greater think.
Speaker 2:You can get a glass if you like and it will cut you and then heal you. But I think that's probably about all it would do. I like the glass.
Speaker 3:Have you guys ever watched DLDL, the Illiterate League.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:So they do a sketch in there where it's like man, what do you do with all these bottles after you drink the potion? They just take up my inventory. And the guy goes oh, I just eat the entire bottle. And he just bites into it, where the healing potion is oozing into his mouth and the blood and glass is cutting him. Just because it just heals you, it's fine, now you don't have to worry about it. And the other characters just looking at him horrified.
Speaker 2:What are you?
Speaker 3:doing. Oh my god, alright, sam, back up to you. You do see this specter that is in front of Nines and the crystal's starting to rotate even faster now.
Speaker 6:Okay, now that I've seen what kind of stuff we're up against, what would it take for Sam to be able to jump across? Let's say, ping? I want to Ping this like between I want to go pick up Matty Monty and then jump across the last one and get him up next to Spectre the both of us. Okay.
Speaker 3:I would say two acrobatic or a single acrobatic roll. Honestly acrobatics right for jumping. Athletics or athletics. I'm sorry, athletics okay yeah, I will.
Speaker 6:I will attempt that then barbarian.
Speaker 2:Huh, that's gonna be a wisdom check to figure out if you can jump over this. Alright, sam Sam starts running at.
Speaker 6:That's going to be a wisdom check to figure out how you can jump over this, all right. So Sam starts running at Monty. He says, monty, I'm going to grab you and then I do it and I get a 17.
Speaker 3:All right, that passes. Yeah, you successfully easily jump across Fissures, land next to Monty, grab him and jump across to the next set.
Speaker 6:Yeah, scoop him up under, like right under the arms and just like carry him with me up onto one shoulder and we just hop up on next to the Seer Spectre.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 6:And I assume I can't do more. That's probably my turn, yeah that would be your turn.
Speaker 3:Hell yeah, glen Glenareth. Well done.
Speaker 4:So Can I just use Misty Step? Fine, I'll freaking. I don't know what you want me to do.
Speaker 3:You know what? Yeah, you can use Misty Step.
Speaker 4:Yes, no, I won't use it. You looked upset. No, I'm not upset.
Speaker 3:You can absolutely. Those are part of your skills. You can use Misty Step.
Speaker 6:Crystal, is it floating? It is.
Speaker 3:It's floating about eight feet in the air.
Speaker 4:I see, so it would be cooler if we could. I actually don't want to use Misty Step, because I'd rather use Misty Step to get across the pit. There's no way for me to throw a rope to one of my teammates to jump over. You said the fishers are always moving.
Speaker 4:They're always moving. Yes, so Glenn is going to observe the shifting patterns and try to judge like when it's going to be. It's going to pay attention and investigate the patterns in which everything is moving around and try to come up with the perfect time to jump over to his party members.
Speaker 3:Okay, so perfect timing. You can either give me an insight or survival check for that, or an investigation.
Speaker 4:I'll give you investigation too all right, we'll go with investigation, because I don't think any of those other ones are very good for me. So 16th, all right, my insight is plus one, my survival is plus one, my investigation is plus five, and I'm proficient in it.
Speaker 3:So the lowest I can roll is a ten, but I rolled an eleven anyway, so sixteen yeah, glenn, you easily identify the patterns that the fissures are moving and you're easily able to navigate your way through them and get to your party.
Speaker 4:Oop, that's the wrong button. Nope, that's the wrong button. Nope, that's not it either. All right, so as Glenn jumps, he'll do a roll and land because it looks cool, but he stands up and goes. Okay, the way you do it is that one's going to rise, that one's going to drop, that one's going to rise, that one's going to drop. As he's pointing to the things and as he's saying it, for the most part he's accurate, but obviously it's not really a pattern Right, so it's absolutely no help to anybody.
Speaker 1:But it sounds like he knows what he's talking about.
Speaker 3:Okay. So the specter is going to scream once again stay away, stay away, stay away, and she's going to send out a pulse of wild magic coming straight from her. She seems to be drawing power from this crystal and she pushes it out towards all of you. I need you all to roll me a d20.
Speaker 2:Just a straight d20?.
Speaker 3:Just a straight D twin. Just a straight D20.
Speaker 4:I don't like that. I can't game that system. 20 feels wasted.
Speaker 3:You gamed it, just fine 18.
Speaker 2:18.
Speaker 6:I also have an 18.
Speaker 3:Beautiful. All right, monty, I'll wait for some of that.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. All right, monty, I'll wait for some of that Beautiful Monty.
Speaker 3:You feel yourself getting ripped from reality and you find yourself put back at the beginning of this chamber.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 3:Oh shit For Glenn. Oh, I'm sorry, Monty, you also have a minus four to DC checks for the remainder of this event.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Glenn, you feel yourself being pulled down by a heavy gravity and your movement speed is halved. Sam and Nines, you feel a sharp pain, hit both of you A sharp pain hit your head, on the inside of your head, and you're each going to take 10 points of force damage.
Speaker 2:Nines will scream out Ow, my brain creases. And then, once the pain subsides, he'll be like it's alright, I think they only got two of them. And then, once the pain subsides, he'll be like it's all right, I think they only got two of them Does Nines, have a certain amount of brain creases. They got half of them. He's trying to gain more every day.
Speaker 3:He's up to two Great All right, nines, you're up, buddy. So before you you see this pit and this green glow coming up from it, and it seems just like raw magical energy. In this pit you can see lightning discharging all around the pit itself, but around it floats six stone pillars. Okay, as like stepping stones, or do they appear to have some other purpose?
Speaker 2:Yeah, jumping stones. So I'm pretty sure I can withstand all sorts of dumbassery from a DM. I'm just going to use one of these stepping stones and try to use that in an attempt to get to the center island to stop that spinning ass crystal.
Speaker 3:Sure, yeah, it makes sense.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it does. So do we know what the green is now? Are we close enough?
Speaker 6:You can probably catch it and find out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, put your pinky in it. It's just pure magical energy.
Speaker 1:Just raw power.
Speaker 2:I'm sure I can make that short leap. Do you require a roll of some sort?
Speaker 3:I do. I need you to roll me a D100. As soon as you step on that first stone, I need you to roll me a D100. D100.
Speaker 2:D100. Oh shit, I got an 80.
Speaker 4:Hey, I just wish some of that wild magic would have done a beneficial thing to somebody but Screw that.
Speaker 3:Nah, as soon as you step on that pillar, butterflies just erupt from all around you. It doesn't stop you at all, they just erupt all around you and you're able to cleanly make your way across. Hooray, so now you have butterflies just circling you.
Speaker 2:I was so good at jumping Butterflies, literally. Hey guys, look, take a lesson from me.
Speaker 3:Glenn, as the butterflies come up around nines, you get a painful reminder of Elysium and what you all lost there.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:It's called foreshadowing, Davey Foreshadowing.
Speaker 4:Oh boy, all right, all right. Okay, I don't know what to do with that, but sure.
Speaker 3:I'm just letting you know.
Speaker 4:I have a memory of Elysium. That's what you're saying. Yes, it reminded me of Elysium and what we lost, correct?
Speaker 3:Okay, Monty, you're up, buddy.
Speaker 5:Glenn says Would it be safe to assume that Monty realizes that he's back at the beginning and is a result of the specter?
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 5:Okay, monty immediately kind of mumbles a curse word under his mouth and pulls out his bow and fires two arrows at the specter, or probably just shoots it once and see what happens after that.
Speaker 2:Oh, no wait, I'm probably not in the line of fire.
Speaker 5:Nah, Monty's good enough with his bow.
Speaker 3:Okay, sure, give me an attack roll there, monty, except our rolls have been shitty.
Speaker 5:Yeah, hey, I have a minus four to ability checks and not attack rolls.
Speaker 3:True, it's only dex and not attack rolls. True, it's only dex checks 17. All right, yeah, your arrow punches clean through this specter, doesn't?
Speaker 5:seem to even notice. Monty will curse again and stand there not doing anything.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 6:Sam, you're up. So I have a thing that Monty also tried to attack the specter and has decided that's the threat. Sam will bring out her plus two great X, which is a magical weapon, okay, and then walk up to the specter and take a reckless attack against it. All right, so we can't stop the magical assault against us. Sure, give me an attack. Roll At advantage with reckless attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 8 plus 11 for 19?.
Speaker 3:Yeah, your axe just cleaves right through her. She doesn't seem to notice at all.
Speaker 1:Wow, what a good strike.
Speaker 3:I know she is staring directly at Glenn.
Speaker 6:Okay, is that my turn.
Speaker 3:That is your turn. Okay, mr Glenareth.
Speaker 4:So Glenn's going to look at her and say, hey, how you doing.
Speaker 3:Okay, anything else, or is that it?
Speaker 4:No, so Glenn is going to. He's going to talk to.
Speaker 3:She cocks her head a little bit and she seems intrigued that you're talking to her.
Speaker 4:I'm going to say we're here to help everybody, we're here to save the world. So our goal is to reunite that crystal with your mother. That is all we're trying to do. We're not trying to damage anything, we're not trying to steal anything. We're trying to get that back to your mother, or I assume that I would know that. So he's trying to deceive her to think that we are all good people and trying to help.
Speaker 3:I mean, but you told her the truth that you're trying to help oh.
Speaker 4:So he's gonna tell her that you don't want to do this, that you want to just let us buy all right, give me a persuasion check persuasion. I don't like persuasion. They're the same check for you, I know, but I was trying to use, so we'll say 24. 24. I rolled a 4, but that goes. 4 goes to a 10.
Speaker 3:I have a plus 14, so 24. I forgot about that. It's such a wild ability. Yeah, the Spectre seems to kind of get mollified and she nods and just says Mother sent you and Monty, you feel time rip once again as the Spectre disappears and you're placed in the center of the crystal, not in the center of the crystal, in the center of the room next to the crystal Inside the crystal. As soon as I said it, I was like I need to fix that, I'll be one, okay. Alright, nines.
Speaker 5:Do I still have my negative perk to my ability checks?
Speaker 1:You do Okay.
Speaker 2:So this crystal is spinning right there in front of me eight feet in the air. Right, yes, it is. That's a pretty short leap for someone of Nines' acrobatic ability. So can I use kind of a it's not sleight of hand, I'm just talking about quickness of hands, ie flurry of blows to grab this thing. Can I spend a ki point to just be like snatch the fly out of the air with the chopsticks?
Speaker 3:Yes, you can so.
Speaker 4:I wonder how many intellectual properties we can punch through in a single episode.
Speaker 3:We've done a lot, so, hmm, it totally makes sense. Just wasn't expecting you to do that, just thinking I can see the little spinning wheel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm loading there in the middle of your forehead Loading, loading, loading.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, nines, you can absolutely do that. I do need you to make me a dex check of some sort, so I'll either let you do sleight of hand or acrobatics, okay well my acrobatics is plus ten, so faux sheezy doing that, I'm rolling, I'm rolling.
Speaker 2:I rolled a nine plus ten for a nineteen.
Speaker 3:If it meets, it beats. So, yeah, you snatch this crystal out of the air. As you jump up and as you grab it, it doesn't stop rotating and you can feel it in your hand trying to move. So I need you to give me a strength check.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, my plus zero strength.
Speaker 4:It keeps rotating. My plus zero strength it keeps rotating, so you're spinning.
Speaker 1:In the air.
Speaker 4:Just hanging on the legs.
Speaker 2:Alright, so just a straight strength, straight strength, that's a d20 plus zero. Here we go, baby. I got a 10.
Speaker 3:That was the DC man, yeah, so you grab onto this crystal and hold it tight with both hands, as this crystal is trying to spin and it's working against every muscle in your body, but you're able to hold it still. It's still pulsing with energy. You can feel it start to build in that energy, but you're holding it still for the moment.
Speaker 4:Nines is the one that still has the other crystal right.
Speaker 3:Nines does have the other crystal yeah.
Speaker 2:I've got to catch them all. I'm going to get like 17 level 7 spell.
Speaker 3:Monty, you're up, so you see Nines sitting here struggling with this crystal. Sam and Glenn are not yet on this platform.
Speaker 5:Monty's going to try to help. So wait, is nine still holding on to it, or did you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's. I imagine it's kind of shaking and there's a great amount of effort that nines is putting out trying to hold it still.
Speaker 5:Monty's going to try to grab Nines.
Speaker 3:You're going to ghost style him and come up behind him, grab his arms to help him.
Speaker 2:Take my breath away.
Speaker 5:You said he's eight feet in the air, so Nines is like eight feet in the air. No, no no, he's on the ground. Oh, he's okay.
Speaker 3:Sorry.
Speaker 5:I thought he was in the air, no, so I was going to grab him by the feet and try to pull him oh yeah, I didn't even think about it.
Speaker 2:You did say eight feet in the air.
Speaker 3:I did. Yeah, I was just thinking like a hop going to grab and landed yes, I just imagine. Nines coming up and very lovingly, grabbing.
Speaker 4:Monty, yeah, grabbing Nines forearms and just holding him in place and putting his chin because place and putting his chin because he's a cat, his chin on the shoulder.
Speaker 5:Watching every moment.
Speaker 1:Do I have anything, I'll break out my lyre.
Speaker 3:Lyre.
Speaker 5:Lyre, lyre, lyre. I mean I could smear it in mayonnaise.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm sorry, I don't know if that's going to help.
Speaker 1:Have you tried opening?
Speaker 6:your nipple flaps.
Speaker 5:Let's open the nipple flaps and smear it in mayonnaise boys, it's go time.
Speaker 3:If that doesn't become a sound bite, I'm going to be very upset with you, andrew. Okay, all right.
Speaker 5:No mayonnaise, no nipple flaps. I'll just go ahead and Monty's gonna try to restrain the crystal as well and just help assist nines and all right, grabbing a hold of it monty, as you're, as you're going to help nines uh as an alternative.
Speaker 3:You also see that there are tiny energy lines going across the surface of the crystal and uh and you you might be able to focus that energy if you were to be able to pass a successful arcana check I mean I've been having a hard time with the checks that I'm good at.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I'm not gonna go that route.
Speaker 3:all right, I'll just try to help. Give me a strength roll. Oh okay, that's one of those.
Speaker 5:Straight strength. Okay, that is a plus five minus four, fourteen.
Speaker 3:No, it's an eighteen. You only get the minus to your dex checks.
Speaker 5:Oh, only to dex.
Speaker 3:Yeah, only to dex.
Speaker 4:Oh, you said ability checks.
Speaker 3:Sorry.
Speaker 5:I meant only only uh, decks checks. That's on me, I'm sorry oh, so the ones I'm good at.
Speaker 3:Okay, uh, 18. Okay, uh, yeah, nines, as you were struggling before. With monty's help, you're able to hold the crystal in place a lot easier. You're not.
Speaker 2:You're not struggling any longer I use my free action to arch my back into Monty.
Speaker 3:As the crystal stops retaining, you're both holding it. You see all these red fissures kind of disappear, the wild magic subsides and the crystal seems to lose a lot of its momentum and it slowly just kind of goes to a very stabilized state. Nines, as you're holding this crystal, you are the only one that holds it. You're not getting anything from it. It doesn't seem to be reacting to you at all.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll shake it and hold it up to my ear, just like the other one.
Speaker 3:It worked before yeah, I mean, that's a solid point. Yeah, nines, you shake it, you hold it to your ear, but, monty, you hear a voice. I think it's broken you hear a voice as soon as he's shaking is. Look at the devastation unbound magic causes. They don't understand the laws that protect them.
Speaker 5:Monty looks around and then looks at our nines. Did you, did you hear that?
Speaker 2:Uh nines is still holding out this crystal like uh for scum to Lieutenant Dan ice cream. Style Lieutenant Dan ice cream.
Speaker 5:Ice cream.
Speaker 2:Monte crystal.
Speaker 5:Monte will kind of reach up and take it and say did you just hear a woman's voice?
Speaker 3:Yes, did you just hear a woman's voice? I actually thought about bringing a voice changer to these things, but it doesn't sound good at all.
Speaker 2:Oh man, I haven't heard a woman's voice in like 30 years. We've talked to a lot of women since he was transported here, there's one in the party.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's true, oh right.
Speaker 6:How's it going?
Speaker 2:Sorry, Forgot about you, sam.
Speaker 5:So Monty will take the Take the crystal and say who are you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so, monty, as soon as you grab the crystal, you get this Image it seems to be projected into your head of this large, powerful male figure with an eye patch on that seems to be causing storms and chaos around the land, and Mystra holding him back as best as she can with a city directly behind her, as best as she can with a city directly behind her. And as she's standing there, talos gets a lucky strike on her and Mistra falls and splits into three separate crystals.
Speaker 5:This is all just in the image, yep.
Speaker 2:Oh so it's not the six infinity stones or the five.
Speaker 3:Just three and you see an image in your head of a. It looks like a building made of sand with a woman holding the third crystal and she's in some sort of sand. Sand castle, sand, yeah, like a sand castle, not a sand castle.
Speaker 2:You said a building made of sand A sand house a sand house yeah, sand building, okay, a sand house.
Speaker 5:a sand house, yeah, sand building, okay.
Speaker 3:uh, dude one of the three crystals that she broke into look like one of the crystals in my hand.
Speaker 5:Yes, have we seen any of the other crystals? Yes, nines has one nines is okay, so, uh, oh, it's a little bit different crystal. Nines runs back and picks it up well, well, monty will hold out that one crystal and then I say, nice, do you have that? Do you have the dithered crystal, can I?
Speaker 1:can I take a look?
Speaker 2:at it real quick just what are the tips? What?
Speaker 3:are you talking about? Did you actually drop it?
Speaker 2:I don't remember you dropping no okay, no, that's just like that would dumb shit that nines would do.
Speaker 3:That would be funny. But the other thing, Monty, is I need you to roll me a d6.
Speaker 2:Like a d6.
Speaker 3:Six.
Speaker 2:Hey-oh Six.
Speaker 3:All right, that's good right, and you die and the power surge is through you and you crumble into ash.
Speaker 4:Both of your arms fall off. Have fun with that bow now, bitch.
Speaker 6:I just hear that Monty is split into three crystals.
Speaker 3:So, monty, you do feel power surge through you and, as a boon for Miestra, you damage. You deal with spells or magical items, bypass the damage resistances of any creature. Wait.
Speaker 5:That could be good. I've got a magical bow. It's almost like you're going to fight gods.
Speaker 3:It might be really really good.
Speaker 6:Is it resistances and immunities? No, just resistances.
Speaker 2:I was going to say let's take on a Tarrasque.
Speaker 5:I've got god killer Gauntlets too. There's that. Do you have them?
Speaker 3:I thought Sam had them.
Speaker 5:No, I have Godkiller Gauntlets.
Speaker 6:It's probably safer for the gods.
Speaker 5:Monty asks to see the Crystal that Nines has Granted. You hold it out to him has Granted, okay. Well, you just hold it out to him, I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, monty then will tell the group. The moment I laid hands on this crystal, I saw a vision of this mistra lady breaking into three crystals, one of which I hold here in my hands, the other is with Nines, and the third and final one rests in a sand building, maybe a castle or a house. It was very unclear at this point where exactly it was. I think that is what we need to get next.
Speaker 4:So Glenn will say what happens if you touch the crystals.
Speaker 5:As he's slowly backing away. Monty grabs him and clanks him together.
Speaker 1:Clank. I want to make sure I got this right.
Speaker 3:Monty now knows that Mistra, the goddess Mistra, is separated into three crystals he's like la, la, la, la la.
Speaker 5:No crystals, no, just once call that bitch back together.
Speaker 2:It's like humpty dumpty.
Speaker 5:Tap in wine glasses together, or no better here maybe monty takes them and sees if, like, the crystals can fit together. Like can he realign?
Speaker 3:the jagged parts. Okay, all right. Um, okay, so no, the crystals do not get formed back together. They, they stay separate. Um, you can feel that they have some sort of attraction towards one another, but they're not staying together at all. They're not. They're. I said, touch the tips, yeah, but the the glow from the room itself seems to brighten and you're able to see the entire room for the first time since you've been down there, even though you all have dark vision, and you can see a chest in the far right corner.
Speaker 2:Is it a male chest or? A female chest Is it like?
Speaker 3:boobs. Yeah, it's a large female chest, nice.
Speaker 5:Who sees it?
Speaker 2:Man, nobody else laughs, laughs. It's just not funny that I'm just being a fucking idiot that's true, bill did give you a smile oh, thanks for all of our viewers at home yeah, sam's the one that notices this.
Speaker 3:She feels a strong pull towards it like to, like you know large female large female chest.
Speaker 4:Maybe there's a uh, there's a uh set of god killer gauntlets in that chest so really granted is the are the fissures and all that stuff still there, or did all that fissures?
Speaker 3:are gone. The rotating platforms are still there, but you don't feel any magical energy, so you guys can easily, as level 13 adventurers, jump back and forth across this pretty simply cool.
Speaker 6:Uh, I will point out the chest and make my way over to it.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 6:I'm going to poke it with my axe to make sure it's not a mimic.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the axe doesn't budge at all, or not the axe, the chest doesn't budge at all, and it seems to stay in place Like bags of sand. Yeah, I feel it Like bags of sand Me so horny, me, so stupid. I got you, I got you, I got you.
Speaker 6:Yeah, could I handle that chest yeah?
Speaker 3:How do you want to handle it?
Speaker 6:I'm going to step around to the back and then reach around and undo the clasp.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, as you undo the clasp and start to open the lid, you hear what some think is just the creaking of a lid opening, but you hear a moaning.
Speaker 2:Oh God.
Speaker 1:Not like that.
Speaker 2:Why are you licking the lock? You hear the noises it's making? Oh my god.
Speaker 3:It's making me wet, alright. So Inside you find 400 gold pieces, two ring of protections and rings of protection.
Speaker 2:It's fine to bring, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, protections, rings of protection, yes. And then you also find a large. You find an axe in there, a two handed battle axe that is shimmering with a red hue like ooh. Grant, I was thinking more like the helicopter, the huey okay, I didn't understand the Grant thing, but now that when he said helicopter, now I understand okay uh, cool, I will pull the treasure out and put it on the ground so that when the gang approaches, they can also look at it.
Speaker 6:I'm gonna pick up the axe, though, and just like touch it. Oh nice, is anybody else into axes, or just sam? I'm just checking here.
Speaker 2:I don't I have oh you mean, like the poles, that the earth, like there's a tilt?
Speaker 6:Is that what you were?
Speaker 2:talking about.
Speaker 6:I'm thinking more like Axes and Allies.
Speaker 2:Oh, I've never played that Sorry.
Speaker 4:Really. It's actually really fun. So you got this board.
Speaker 6:Stop, stop.
Speaker 3:When you said that that, justin, I just imagine Sam has been regaled with so many of Glenn's stories that she's just sick of them. She's just like. I cannot hear about how much of a fucking hero you are anymore.
Speaker 6:I lived through a story. I can only imagine how it's going to turn out. I've seen this shit firsthand anymore. I lived through a story. I can only imagine how it's going to turn out.
Speaker 1:I've seen this shit firsthand. What?
Speaker 3:the shit are you drinking? Yeah, that is a red drink, kool-aid, what is that?
Speaker 6:It is Mezcal Montalobos mixed with Higher Vibes, THC. Oh, Quite nice that is.
Speaker 3:Goodbye. Yeah, that's what Like if I did that gone.
Speaker 6:I'm ready for bed. What can I say? Yeah, All right guys.
Speaker 2:Start the countdown timer.
Speaker 3:So, anybody, high or low, on 22 minutes Low.
Speaker 1:I went the under.
Speaker 3:No, Justin can handle it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say he's going to be up until 2 o'clock.
Speaker 3:anyway, I brought a second one.
Speaker 4:All right, going back, I'm trying to get ahead. Glenn will go over and and he'll look at the axe and the rings and the gold. I assume you put everything, just dumped it out.
Speaker 6:Yep pretty much.
Speaker 4:And Glenn will say hey, that looks like a good axe for you.
Speaker 6:Yeah, sam's holding it and she's just running her fingers over the edges. Can you describe the curvature of the axe a little more for me? I can, and yeah, sam's holding it and she's just like running her fingers over the edges. Can you, uh, describe the the curvature of the axe a little more for me?
Speaker 3:I can. So, yeah, it, uh, it's got a. You can tell that this is made from, uh, a, a precious metal that you've only seen a handful of times in your life, from some sort of meteorite, iron. Um, it's. It's glistening with a red hue, like I said before, and sparkles of what looks like almost stardust on it. Um, the edge of this, the axe itself, uh, flickers with fire as you're sitting there holding it, and they don't dim or die, uh, even as you're holding it in the air and taking some practice swipes. The handle itself is made from a very old wood of some sort of elder tree, though you can't identify it, and the handle flows with the everywhere you touch it. Everywhere your hands are on the handle, a deep blue luminescence makes it feel almost alive as it hums under your hands. The axe itself is double edged, like I said, and the top of it has a spike sticking out of it about seven inches on the, on the edge of the. Uh, sorry, go ahead I said sick sorry oh, yeah, yeah, no, you're good.
Speaker 3:And then on the blades you can see several runes on there, and where the runes are, you can see flames continuously etching around or edging around those runes.
Speaker 2:Edging I'm listening. How many?
Speaker 3:times, would you say this is called the Ax of celestial edging. No, it's not.
Speaker 1:I hope it is.
Speaker 2:The more you almost use it, the more powerful your swing becomes.
Speaker 4:M rating. I'm glad we're here with you oh, m rating.
Speaker 3:I'm glad we're here. We're here, yes, yes, um. So there's something special about this, this place you're in. Maybe it's the crystals you're around, maybe it's uh mistra trying to help you, maybe it's mores reaching from behind. But you're able to determine what kind of weapon this is and you do need to uh be attuned to it, but it is called the axe of celestial flame, um, and it is a gives it. It's an axe, it's a plus three axe, and once per day, when the wielder strikes an enemy, uh, you can choose to unleash a fire explosion and a 20-foot radius around the target. All creatures within that area must make a DC 17 dexterity saving throw and those that fail take 66 fire damage or half on a successful. That's all creatures, including allies.
Speaker 1:Including yourself.
Speaker 3:No, not, no, not, not Okay. The axe also grants fire resistance to its wielder and illuminates an area of 30 feet.
Speaker 5:But I have darkvision.
Speaker 3:I know you do. I'm going to drop the description right in here, hmm.
Speaker 4:But do you have blinding light vision?
Speaker 5:It sounds like a sand weapon.
Speaker 6:I hold that on my blind side so I don't get blinded.
Speaker 3:It's almost like I'm prepping you guys for a really big fight. Hell yeah.
Speaker 6:No, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1:So, yeah.
Speaker 3:Do you have anything to say about that Axe Sam, or anything you want to do?
Speaker 6:She goes and then she takes out both the grave. She takes the grave digger's shovel and then she, like more permanently, secures it into her pack and then replaces that into her weapon slot for grave digger's level. I don't need a tomb slot for the greataxe that I already have. I mean, obviously I won't be using it, but pommels over both shoulders is kind of her look.
Speaker 3:Perfect, and so yeah, you also in this chest have 400 gold pieces and two ring of protections Rings of protection, rings of protection.
Speaker 6:Thank you.
Speaker 3:I'll get it right eventually. It's a ring and a ring, a ring and a ring.
Speaker 6:A ring and a ring, a ring and a ring, a ring and a ring. So do we each take a hundred. Yeah, I think we split the gold even. Yeah, a hundred each Yep. Sure, I'll let it all out for everyone to see. So you can't fucking.
Speaker 4:So Glenn will reach down and pick up one of the rings of protection. Is it just labeled ring of protection? Of the rings of protection, is it just labeled ring of protection?
Speaker 3:Yeah, ring of protection. It gives you a plus one bonus to your AC.
Speaker 4:Bill knows what it does.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, I see what you're saying. You know what? Yeah, inscribed on the inside of both of these, it just says ring of protection Made in China.
Speaker 1:Made in.
Speaker 3:Taiwan.
Speaker 4:So Glenn'll pick up both of these rings and look at them and he'll look back and ask who do we think needs more protection?
Speaker 2:Do those need to be attuned or are they passive?
Speaker 6:They are attunement.
Speaker 2:Ring of protection.
Speaker 6:Yep requires attunement. I have itunement. Yep requires attunement. I'll drop it in our chat here, bud. Unfortunately, yes, which is what I'm struggling with right now, because I have the cloak of protection, the eyepatch and now the axe.
Speaker 4:I have no attunement items so I can take it. I have two as well.
Speaker 6:Well then.
Speaker 5:I guess I have no attunement items.
Speaker 3:So I will tell you as a DM, ac wise uh.
Speaker 1:Sam.
Speaker 3:Sam has the lowest, followed at 16, followed by Glenn at 17, monty's got 19 and nines is the tank with a 21.
Speaker 6:I mean, I'm a meat tank. I just my health is right and I get resistance. During rage, I have resistance to bludgeoning piercing the 21.
Speaker 3:I mean, I'm a meat tank, my health is Right.
Speaker 6:I don't have 100 plus During rage. I have resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, slashing lightning and with this axe fire it's pretty sizable health.
Speaker 2:When I speak.
Speaker 4:I have resistance to attraction. I'm immune to magical sleep, sorry. What'd you say, brandon?
Speaker 2:It said, when Nine speaks he has resistance to attraction.
Speaker 3:Yes, we found that out with Counselor Thornwell. Yeah right so.
Speaker 4:Glenn. I guess Glenn would say hey, you guys good with me taking one of these.
Speaker 6:Sam's not even looking. She's just holding this axe in the air, Just like oh Nines has been practicing his social cues and he gives you a tentative thumbs up.
Speaker 2:And he looks between his thumb and you. It's like, uh like, looking to you for approval so uh, glenn will nod and slip the ring on his finger.
Speaker 5:There you go uh, do you want another one for nines? Not sure that I could use it you can't use, it okay, and monty will say that looks nice anybody. Uh, I'll take this one.
Speaker 4:So, Glenn, well, are you over there by us?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 4:Okay. So, assuming everybody's over there. So Glenn will flick it to you like it's a coin. Knowing that your dexterity is equal to Glenn's.
Speaker 5:So assume that you will just catch it.
Speaker 3:Still, as you go to grab it, you just go right above it and miss it. It just falls to the floor.
Speaker 2:Stupid minus four.
Speaker 1:Cat, never mind, glenn puts up a no, it hits him right, right between the eyes he gets caught on nipple flap as it's falling down he's just hanging on the flap damn it.
Speaker 4:Why are?
Speaker 1:these here why do I have six of these?
Speaker 5:it gets stuck on a nipple flap, and now I have a nipple ring of protection do you have to? Wear this on your finger.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 5:No If you want to pierce one of your nipples.
Speaker 3:I'm okay with that.
Speaker 5:No, okay.
Speaker 3:One of your six nipples.
Speaker 5:Okay, monty, will take that one.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, please attune your items and add them to your inventory.
Speaker 6:I don't know how many inventory.
Speaker 3:Are we resting as well? Yeah, I guess you can only attune them during rest, that is true.
Speaker 6:Could you refresh me on the radius of the explosion for the fire?
Speaker 3:Yep, oh, it's still processing. It hasn't uploaded yet. That's weird. It is 20 feet Nice. So, as you're all sitting around talking and sharing your items, uh, uh, bill, you feel a presence behind you, or sorry, glenn, you feel a presence behind you. Oh, okay, monty puts his hand on his shoulder, it's dead Brown chicken brown cow.
Speaker 3:So this specter that you talked to, earlier, so this specter that you talked to earlier the specter that you talked to earlier standing there and she seems to be a little fuller, a little more, yes, a little fuller. She seems to be not as transparent as she was before and you can see that she's smiling. She seems happy to see you and she doesn't say anything, but she says the word thank you and she waves her hand and a portal appears in front of you.
Speaker 2:So she says nothing, except for the words that she says.
Speaker 4:Well, she mouthed it uh, so I hear nothing from her, but she mouthed the word, thank you.
Speaker 1:And her URL appeared. Yes.
Speaker 6:And did you say we are short or long resting?
Speaker 3:I didn't say anything If you guys want to.
Speaker 6:We said for us to attune.
Speaker 3:Yeah, to attune, you do long rest, I believe.
Speaker 2:Yeah he's not telling us to attune. He was saying that if you can, you should. But if there are rules against it, then let's not.
Speaker 4:Oh no, you can short rest, attune it in a short rest.
Speaker 3:Oh, shall we? Yeah, it's a short rest.
Speaker 6:Do we have enough time to short rest before, during this whole, after combat, before portal?
Speaker 3:It is a relatively safe area if you would like to perform a short rest.
Speaker 4:Sounds like a great idea. Does her portal seem to be breaking down like closing up?
Speaker 3:Seems to be stable.
Speaker 6:It seems like an hour. We probably spent 15 minutes talking about this and opening loot. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3:and take your short rest, recover some HP. If you're down, monty Some hips.
Speaker 5:I'm down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Monty, you got the crap beat out of you.
Speaker 6:Like a clown. I'm at almost 50% health.
Speaker 4:Enter Alustra's portal.
Speaker 6:Hell yeah, portal. She spreads it open and we just jump right in.
Speaker 4:Yep.
Speaker 5:Hello, hello.
Speaker 2:Slide right in yeah, do I have any sausages that I could toss down there uh.
Speaker 3:So yeah, you all jump through the portal, you get transported to what looks like a sand village, if you will. Just Just a bunch of different sand homes and buildings made out of sandstone. Oh, okay, yeah, buildings made out of sandstone. It looks a lot like Tatooine, if you will.
Speaker 5:Are there water races going on.
Speaker 4:So like getting tattooed at a tattoo shop.
Speaker 3:You know what I was trying to say. You know what I was trying to do. You know what I was trying to say. You know what I was trying to do.
Speaker 4:I know, but I'm trying to be funny. So it's sandstone, not buildings made out of sand.
Speaker 3:I did correct myself about a minute ago. The vision, oh.
Speaker 4:So was the vision of sandstone or of sand.
Speaker 3:Sandstone.
Speaker 4:Okay, so we're in the place You're in the place.
Speaker 3:Was the vision of sandstone or of sand Sandstone, okay, so, so we're in the place, you're in the place. We did it? Hell yeah, directly in front of you you see a shop and, based off of prior feedback, I am going to drop what the shop sells and you tell me if you want anything out of it.
Speaker 6:Hell yeah, love it If you want to read through it for our listeners. While we peruse cause, we also have to review.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. This shop has a bunch of normal stuff, but I just dropped six magic items in there just so this, this, these things kind of grab your guys' attention, so they're for our players that are listeners out there. They have a Cronus Whip which allows the wielder to manipulate small pockets of time, granting advantage on initiative rolls and an extra reaction once per short rest. Helm of Astral Perception it allows the wearer to cast Sea Invisibility at will and gives a plus five bonus against illusions while worn. Floral Cloak of Verdant Spirits allows the wearer to communicate with plants and cast Entangle once per day. Soulkeeper's Amulet grants protection from soul-consuming effects. Wearer can store one soul of a recently deceased creature as a once-off boon. Gale Bow Arrows fired have a wind-like property allowing for long-range attacks and immunity to being deflected by non-magical means. And finally, flask of elemental essences allows the drinker to breathe a type of elemental energy dealing 3d6 damage of the corresponding type per per round for one minute is that a single use, only flask, or is that once per day flask?
Speaker 6:uh once per day sam has her eyeballs on that flask and her backup backup would be the cloak, because that's all she can afford. Well, because those are the things that she's interested with in her pocket volume. I thought the colonel's whip sounded like a Glenn thing, I thought, because you guys use a lot of reactions to like not take damage. In particular, the single target negation thing gives you an extra chance to take a reaction brandon, did you have?
Speaker 2:a question uh, yeah, uh, nines is interested in purchasing the soul keeper's amulet, uh, which grants protection from soul consuming and the wearer can store one soul of a recently deceased creature as a once-off boon. And I'm pretty sure Nines wants to murder and soul-encapsulate the next motherfucker who tries to throw him through a portal.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, Nines has gone through some portals recently. Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's where gone through some portals recently.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's where all of his fucking problems started.
Speaker 3:Do you want to try to negotiate it down or do you want to pay the 500 gold pieces?
Speaker 2:Nines does not know the meaning of the word negotiation Perfect.
Speaker 3:Yep. So the shopkeeper, who is a half-elf man, reaches his hand as he sees you eyeing. He says That'll be 500 gold pieces.
Speaker 2:I don't have that much. I literally misread what my inventory. I only have 456. I take that back. Can I try to negotiate him down to 456 using my renowned negotiation?
Speaker 4:skills. I don't have that much.
Speaker 3:The half-elf looks at you and says, okay, what do you have? Do you have anything? Maybe you could trade with. I'm sorry ma'am I don't have that much Any gems. I mean, you look like a very profound and renowned adventurer. I'm sure you have something you can trade in value.
Speaker 2:I can offer you this tender box that I have carried with me between dimensions.
Speaker 3:He holds up three tender boxes that look exactly the same. I've already got some of those yeah, those aren't multi-dimensional though all right, you got me there. Sam, you ever heard of Ioun?
Speaker 6:can I withdraw my shovel of hold on? I have it's got a fancy name. It'll make the price go up. Hold on a second it's the uh grave digger's shovel. It does so many magical things I I just reach out and tap you on the shoulder with it, like offering it to you as a bartering tool uh, oh for for nines yes yeah, and so uh nine's gonna grab hold of the proffered shovel.
Speaker 5:I'm just looking up, I'll give you this shovel plus 500 gold pieces.
Speaker 4:Still don't have it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, nines isn't good at negotiating. No, the shopkeeper's eyes light up and he says oh, I'll tell you what, I'll take that and 150 gold pieces and we'll call it good. Wow, what an idiot.
Speaker 2:It's just 150 gold pieces and we'll call it good. Wow, what an idiot. It's just a shovel. Yes, you have a deal Perfect.
Speaker 3:And he reaches out and grabs the shovel from you and holds his proffered handout for the 150 gold.
Speaker 5:And you add the gravedigger shovel to the shop. Available inventory. We might want to buy it.
Speaker 4:I'll give you a price 54.
Speaker 2:I'm going to very quickly count out 150 gold pieces Offering a prayer to Ioun. Every time a clink of wealth.
Speaker 5:As he's yelling.
Speaker 3:That's right. Yeah, the shopkeeper looks terrified.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we get through the exchange.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, great yeah. The shopkeeper takes it and you see him writing on a tag real quick and he loops it around the handle of the shovel and you see in there another item added to the inventory Gravedigger shovel 500 gold pieces.
Speaker 2:Oh, can I buy that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that'll be 500 gold pieces. I don't have that much. He looks towards your companions like is this guy alright?
Speaker 5:No, I owe my friends, one of those shovels okay, does anybody else want anything?
Speaker 4:so I have a question about the chronos whip. Yes, do I have to be so the wielder? If it's on my belt, does that count as me wielding?
Speaker 2:it. Yes, if you whip yourself, you do still come. I'll just go ahead and answer the question for you.
Speaker 3:It has to be equipped. That has to be the weapon you have withdrawn. Yes, you have to be wielding it. It can't just be in your inventory.
Speaker 6:What about in your offhand?
Speaker 3:Yeah, offhand's fine.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 5:Hey, brandon, I know the Galebow looks like a Monty-specific item, but it doesn't actually do much for me because I already have those advantages.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, I understand that.
Speaker 5:Okay, then I don't think Monty sees anything that he wants in here.
Speaker 3:Okay, they do have a bunch of normal stuff in here, like if you want a mirror or chalk or glass, blowers, tools, perfume, a whole bunch of normal items. If you want to buy a healing potion or whatever, these are just the big magical items.
Speaker 5:I should try. Monty will go to the shopkeeper and say are you interested in purchasing vials of acid? I have three of them.
Speaker 3:I could probably use one of those. Yeah, I'll take it from you for 30 gold pieces.
Speaker 5:If you'd take two, how about 50? Done, I'll give him two for 50.
Speaker 6:And money, uh. So sam will offer to give 350, 350 gold for the flask of elemental essences and five greater healing potions 350 for flask of elemental essences and five greater healing potions just I didn't look up the price. I'm assuming that's reasonable as a group of purchasers. I've already thrown an axe shovel his way. He saw me hand it over. You know, it's the generosity of a merchant maybe Capitalists are known for their generosity. If I'm overpaying, he might have the hey, it's worth a little more.
Speaker 3:Yeah just so you know, in D&D a greater healing potion is about 100 gold pieces. That seems overpriced. It is super overpriced.
Speaker 6:Or maybe I'm not familiar with the economy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I haven't been charging you guys that I didn't think I ever had a greater healing potion. So he'll say to you eh, make it 400, and I'll give you the flask and three greater healing potions.
Speaker 6:What if? Uh, how about we lower it down to 365 gold and 20 silver? For what?
Speaker 3:For the same stuff. Roll me a persuasion check. You could also try to intimidate him.
Speaker 6:No, that's fine. 17 total.
Speaker 2:I have a shit ton of gold. My guy Let me help you.
Speaker 3:The shopkeeper looks at you and you see him kind of tilt his head. He seems almost interested in you. He keeps looking at the wrong areas of your body. He says yeah, you know what? Yeah, absolutely. He also hands you a small slip of paper as he passes you the greater healing flasks.
Speaker 6:Let me pick up the paper. What's it say?
Speaker 3:The paper has an address on it with a smiley face.
Speaker 6:Sam winks at him with her one good eye and then stuffs the note down the front of her leather.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna break you in half boy.
Speaker 3:He very visibly licks his lips Gross.
Speaker 5:I thought the shopkeep was that Brandon's female voice.
Speaker 6:I try to short him 10 gold to see if he notices Done with that one.
Speaker 3:Because he notices immediately. Does he stop me? No, he stops. He says actually I'm sorry, you're very beautiful, but I'm already giving you a huge discount and I have children to feed. So I think you're about 10 short.
Speaker 6:Alright, I'll give her the rest. So how many potions did you say?
Speaker 3:Three, three greater healing potions and you get the flask. And that's for 365 gold pieces and 20 silver.
Speaker 6:Exactly the amount that I have. How convenient.
Speaker 3:I know Anybody else want anything.
Speaker 4:Does he have any regular magic armor or anything Like? Studded leather plus one, or plus two or plus three.
Speaker 3:He does not, alright.
Speaker 5:Can he upgrade anything?
Speaker 3:No, this is just a shopkeep.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Let's see he has like an amulet of protection or something like that. Glenn is really. They haven't had anything major happen since the last time he went shopping Since the last major thing that happened.
Speaker 4:That's fair well, no, I mean we. No, I'm talking about where he would use the stuff that he bought like I mean he might so if he'd probably maybe two greater healing potions. What is he asking for? Greater healing potions yeah, all right. Two, two greater healing potions, uh 65 gold pieces two each, or for both of them, for both of them. So. But what if I give you one of these throwing feathers that?
Speaker 3:you know I I knew a guy in another, in another village, some guy trying to swindle him on these throwing feathers just Just wasn't having it. I'm going to have to pass on it, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:But it's from Lord Bill.
Speaker 3:That means nothing to me.
Speaker 4:Sorry man, I don't get to do a persuasion.
Speaker 2:Are we? Super in a new universe, fine.
Speaker 4:He'll give him 65 gold pieces. You're not going gonna let me persuade not. I mean he doesn't see the value in it I mean, okay, what about one dose of, uh, what do you call it? Uh, the mushroom stuff, one dose of pufferoon tea, or, yeah, pufferoon?
Speaker 3:tea. I'll give you 15 gold pieces for that 15, but I think it's worth.
Speaker 4:I know freaking this is a boring shit out of brandon, but I'll give you a. How about I give you two doses and we call it an even swap for the two you can give?
Speaker 3:me a persuasion check 32? Okay, he says to you, even I can't have that, but what I will do is I'll take the two and give you two greater healing potions for 40.
Speaker 4:What, what that math don't math.
Speaker 3:I math.
Speaker 2:Is it a better deal?
Speaker 4:It's not a better deal Because you said you'd give me 15 gold pieces for one dose. That's 2 for 30. Okay, yeah, so it saves me 10 gold pieces for a freaking 32 persuasion.
Speaker 2:Sure, whatever, that's not 32 persuasion, that's a success persuasion Correct. It's a very much success. An's a success persuasion. Correct, it's a very punch sequence An inch is as good as a mile Bill.
Speaker 4:Whatever?
Speaker 3:That is not true. I had an expert go with me because an inch wasn't as good as a mile.
Speaker 1:I heard that wasn't why Wow.
Speaker 3:Justin, what you got.
Speaker 6:Just a question. On the flask it says I can breathe, fire or breathe an element for 3d6 per round for a minute. Is that an action, bonus action?
Speaker 3:That is an action. That is an action.
Speaker 6:Full action.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 6:What did you think dominating fire would be.
Speaker 3:It does. I don't think I have it on there. I'll share it with you, but it does reach 30 feet In like a cone or a line, One line Line 30 feet.
Speaker 6:Okay, I'll add that in there. That's a little better.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it gives you some ranged abilities.
Speaker 6:I just got a plus 3x.
Speaker 2:I know I get it. Yeah, that's like some Ron Weasley shit, right You're in a weird situation. You take a sip of the polyjuice potion or whatever and then you're just like yeah. It feels like a desperate act.
Speaker 3:So you see this shopkeeper kind of glaze over for a second and then he says to you I believe you're looking for the chosen one right.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's so weird that you did that.
Speaker 1:But yes, I know, yeah, this building right here points to the one to the right as he's starting to close up all of his shop. Monty says I think we should head out of here.
Speaker 5:I believe we know where to go next. He's going to start walking through the door.
Speaker 2:Let's go.
Speaker 3:As you enter this building. It's kind of a run-down building. It's very humble-looking roots. You see some pots hanging on the walls very humble looking, humble looking roots. Right, it's it's. You see some pots hanging on the walls and pots hanging on the raw the walls, a very rundown carpet on the floor. There's dirt everywhere it. You know it's. It's a it's kind of a lower end, lower end type of a housing. But what really catches your eye is at the end of the room is a human woman with her neck broken on the floor.
Speaker 2:Damn that's hot.
Speaker 5:Really caught my eye. That's your response. Really caught my eye, that's your response.
Speaker 3:And as soon as you guys notice this, you hear a thunderous crack in the air and a shockwave kind of rocks the land around you. You can feel the building start to crumble, it starts to fall on top of your heads.
Speaker 2:Oh, I hate that.
Speaker 3:I know this is the part where you run away, oh is that what we hear? Yeah, the building's falling on you.
Speaker 6:Oh shit, is that a voice that somebody said to us? Or is that just our conscious telling? I was quoting Shrek.
Speaker 2:I liked it better when it was a voice it was more ominous. Yeah, I feel like a Spider-Man quick time event sequence is called for here.
Speaker 6:If only we had a way to have a really slow time around us.
Speaker 2:I'm super agile, uh do. Do you think that uh nines feels that he could be of any use to anyone else in escaping this dire situation?
Speaker 3:well, uh, the last thing that you saw was monty not being able to even catch a ring out of the air. Oh man.
Speaker 2:Monty needs some help probably. His cat-like reflexes are like orange, cat-like reflexes.
Speaker 6:One orange reflex. Sam carried him across the red stuff and he appeared on the far end.
Speaker 2:Oh man, yeah. So I think Nines is going to use this opportunity. Oh man, yeah. So I think Nines is going to use this opportunity to try to. I'm going to do a little kickflip sort of thing on Monty.
Speaker 5:Am I a skateboard?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we're doing a frontside 1080. Yeah, so grab Monty like a leaping grab on Monty shoulder. Tuck, roll, kick. Get Monty out. Let's see if we can dexterity him out of this situation His nipple flaps flap in the air as he's going for a ride.
Speaker 3:Catching the fucking wind. Monty, do you resist this at all, or are you just letting him take you?
Speaker 5:No, monty, he's a minus four to stuff.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's no, no, no, that minus four is gone now man, oh okay, well, monty's still gonna, he'll be okay with it.
Speaker 2:He trusts.
Speaker 5:Nines more or less.
Speaker 2:The first thing that Nines does is grab Monty by the scruff of his neck and make him go just a little limp, you know what I mean Like a little kitten Wait not your dick, monty, never.
Speaker 3:To do everything you described. Give me an acrobatics check and, because of of all the oomph you put into it, give me an advantage and and just like that I lose my erection oh no, all right, acrobatics plus 10 at advantage.
Speaker 2:I rolled. Oh hey, wow, oh, a 19 for 29. 29.
Speaker 3:All right, yeah, yeah, nines, you did all of that. You easily sail out of the building before Glenn or Sam even catch up to you. As the building starts to collapse, you drag Monty out of there and Monty is now standing and facing the building with you and you're still holding the scruff of his neck, standing and facing the building with you and you're still holding the scruff of his neck.
Speaker 4:So Glenn, as his boss move, is going to slowly stroll out of the building. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And walk out of there calmly.
Speaker 2:And does not look. I just did a get down, Mr President. And it was like a buster scrug sort of.
Speaker 3:Glenn just looks over his shoulder like the fuck and just walks out.
Speaker 4:Knowing's very sure that he can dodge anything that's going to freaking hit him.
Speaker 3:Sam, what are you doing?
Speaker 6:Sam similarly feels confident about getting out of here, so she's going to try to grab the body if we're if we're close enough to it to grab the body of the old lady or the dead woman with a broken neck, either way and try to take her out so that we can hopefully get some more idea what's going on here okay, and then revive her and make her relive her last torturous moments, like trap her soul in an amulet, I don't know whatever, and then hold my arm over my head as a strength constitution either way, like deflecting shit, as I try to back my way out, dragging the body.
Speaker 3:Yeah, give me a count save. Yeah, it's building starts to fall around you. You get several large stones hitting you. Give me a count save.
Speaker 6:It's a total of 14.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so some of it does hit you. It hurts you a little bit and you're going to take two points of damage, owie, but yeah, you drag the body out, no problem.
Speaker 6:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay. So with you all, outside you hear a dull roar and the world seems almost grown in pain. The sand around you has been pushed aside, the buildings have collapsed and Nines and Monty, you both hear from the crystals you're holding. He's done it, sorry, he's done it. He's broken the laws. He's done it, sorry, he's done it. He's broken the laws. A storm starts to rage above you all, and standing before you is this towering figure at the epicenter of this giant storm, and it seems to be as much a part of him as the beard he has on his face. He's got a single eye patch on him, and he's got. He seems almost divine. He's got this single eye patch on him, and he's got. He seems almost divine. He's got this whirling beard. He's got a blinding light that's being withheld or held within the socket, or this eye patch on his eye, and he's he talus or he throws back his head and laughs. Fall into her own domain. Mistra, at last, watch me use the power as it's meant to be used.
Speaker 2:Nines will curse Taloc's name. Oh, was it not Taloc with a Q? I thought.
Speaker 3:No, no, it wasn't.
Speaker 2:Ah fuck you're right you're right, flips the page mentally.
Speaker 3:Talos, damn it but that is where we're going to end the night this is a boss fight coming up yeah, it's going to be a big boss fight. This is the first god well you know a, not a true god, but a? What's the word I'm looking for? Gudra, not a goudra, anamonabia, no, a manifestation of a god. It's not a true god, but it is a manifestation of a god.
Speaker 6:Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:Oh, like an avatar maybe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like in Ghostbusters, like bohides.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 3:Alright, I do want to say thank you to everybody who found this liking us, giving us ideas. It means a lot to us. Make sure you check us out on facebookcom, slash AD&D story, retweet us on twitter or at AD&D story too. Check us out on instagram and finally, check us out on blue sky at AD&D story. So a couple things that I want to say real quick. We are currently in talks to partner with a website called WorldSmith, so this is a kind of a big deal. It's an auto-generating website. It helps you build worlds, treasures, items, shops everything that I've created in this episode has come straight from this website. Go check them out. It's at worldsmithio. It's got a free as long as you create an account. It does have a free version and a paid version. Go check them out. It's pretty cool. I've been playing with it for the last week or so.
Speaker 2:Explain yourself.
Speaker 3:Pretty cool, I've been playing with it for the last week or so. Um, explain yourself which things. All those items. Yeah, every single item that I generated came from this dang um. But no, it can create one. Shots off the rip quests traps. You can give it certain parameters and it'll help. It's llm. Yeah, it can even make maps on it, like like battle maps Good battle maps. Yeah, they're pretty decent here. Let me share it with you real quick. Also, if you like all the sound effects, music that you're hearing on these episodes, make sure you check out Sirenscape at Sirenscapecom for all your tabletop needs. And finally, check out Dungeon Draft for map creation. I've been using it for all of our map creations for our D&D games the last three or four episodes. So, with all that being said, matty, will you take us out tonight?
Speaker 5:It's been nerdy everybody.
Speaker 3:Hell yeah, it has been nerdy.
Speaker 6:It has been nerdy. It's been productive too. It's a good one.
Speaker 2:Nerdy, nerdy wordy and flirty, thank you.