Navigating School Bullying: A Call to Educators for Open Communication and Action

Strap yourself in as we embark on an intense journey of personal discovery and intense disappointment, underscored by the harsh reality of school bullying. My own daughter was the victim, a revelation that shook me to my very core. Her story served as a stark reminder about the imperative role we educators play in protecting our students from the psychological and physical torment that bullying inflicts. Despite my position as a school leader, even I was blindsided by the lack of immediate action taken by the school and the subsequent lack of communication.

This episode goes beyond just sharing my personal ordeal. It serves as a clarion call to educators and school leaders everywhere to take immediate, decisive action against bullying. I echo the sentiment that communication is the lifeblood of prevention and resolution in such matters. Hear the story of a sneaker principal, a tale that starkly illustrates the needless conflicts that arise from poor communication. This episode is a pledge to honor the trust parents place in us, a trust that we must never betray. Let's ensure the school environment is a safe haven for our children and not a battleground. Join me as we navigate these choppy waters, seeking solutions and striving for open, effective communication between parents and school staff.

Chapters

• 0:00 Addressing Bullying Incidents in Schools
• 8:30 Communication With Parents Is Key

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

When they see me. They know that every day, when I'm breathing, it's for us to go farther. You know, every time I speak, I want the truth to come out. You know I'm saying every time I speak I want to shiver. You know I don't want them to be like. They know what I'm gonna say because it's polite. They know what I'm gonna say and even if I get in trouble, you know I'm saying that. Ain't that what we're supposed to do? It's. I'm not saying I'm gonna rule the world or I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the, the brain that will change the world. And that's our job. It's to spark somebody else watching us. We might not be the ones, but let's not be selfish. And because we're not gonna change the world, let's not talk about how we should change it. I don't know how to change it, but I know, if I keep talking about how dirty it is out here, somebody gonna clean it up. And now he's been promoted his job principal.

Speaker 2: 0:56

Welcome to you, welcome to the sneaker principal podcast. I'm a slipped up there and said welcome to the in joku show. I don't know what's going through my brain this morning, but um.

Speaker 2: 1:07

Yeah there's a lot going on through my brain. My name is to change your coon sneaker principal and In this episode, very short episode, I want to talk to you about something very personal, but it also links to my job, my work as a school leader. So this past Friday I Got a text message about my daughter from her mother and the text message was you know that my daughter, our daughter, is being bullied and and, um, you know it's. It's interesting to get that message About your child, especially doing what I do and having done this for such a long time. Those of you who know me know that I started my career as a dean and as a dean, one of the things that I dealt out of many, many times, countless times I can't even I Mean, I can't even put a number to it it's incidents of bullying and bullying when, whether it's physical, psychological or even in a space of Perceived, it is tough Because it puts you in a place where you feel like you're disconnected from everyone else. And I know this personally because as a kid I got bullied. You know, I'm an immigrant here from Nigeria, at the age Like dead and I still really young, being different, being the space where I was the standout, you know it made me a very easy target. So as an educator, as a leader, I've decided to really make that my non-negotiable and tolerable thing that once I see it, it must be attacked, and I wanna say that I think I've done a good job at it over the years. I have many children who are now adults. I had many children who are now adults that I've been spoken to, you know, in their present existence, about the past and what they went through, and I've always been proud that I've, you know, I address those issues to make sure at least to minimize that happening within the schools that I work at.

Speaker 2: 3:33

So to get the message that my daughter is a victim of this, you know, definitely rattled me. But what even made it worse was that it wasn't a psychological type thing or kids talking, it was physical. So she said she got hit in the chest by another girl and I was okay. My first question was did this school reach out to us, reach out to you, you know, send us an email, make a phone call to say, hey, this happened in school? And the answer was no. Then my next question is my mind, did she actually tell someone that this happened and I got in front of my daughter and she said she told the teacher and told the classroom aid. I was okay.

Speaker 2: 4:20

So my daughter has been, you know, physically touched in a manner that was intimidating and actually even I mean let's go down to the lowest denominator she was touched in the unwanted fashion, you know, brought to your attention as an educator and as a parent, you know, set aside my 20 year career, set aside my role as a principal, just as a parent. There was not a phone call, an email, anything, a note home. That's a problem for me, a big problem for me, because one of the things that should be our responsibilities as the adult in the life of children in schools is to make sure they're physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally safe. You know, then, nothing interferes with that and things will interfere with that If things happen that we are, as parents, communicated with so we can take the appropriate steps. So in this case she was hitting the chest. I mean, that's what my daughter's saying. So my thing is, I don't know how hard, I don't know what. You know, she's five years old, so God forbid, it was something extremely serious, with no, nothing about. She gets home and she passes out because she has contusion in her chest or something. You know, something happens and we don't know. So this morning I'm gonna go to the school and have a conversation with the principal. I'm pretty sure I teach I won't be able to speak to the teacher, but I would definitely want to speak to the principal as a parent, not as a sneaker principal, not as a school leader, just as a parent, because I just need to understand what happened there. So why am I sharing this with you? But if you're listening to this, more likely you are an educator.

Speaker 2: 6:08

Whether you're a teacher, you are aspiring school leader or you are a school leader, principal, assistant, principal, superintendent, wherever you may be across this country, it's interesting enough across the world, we have to honor our parents. I know it's hard. You know the stem is always. You know we can't be everywhere and I know that I actually know that person and we cannot be everywhere. But once we know something, we have to say something. The same way we ask our children is if they happen to say something. As your adults, you have to say something, because what happens is when you don't say anything. That's when you have days like this that start off not the way you expected it to start off, meaning that somebody like myself is gonna walk in there or smile on my face and ask the question. It's gonna rattle your morning. Because, again, it is your responsibility. It is my responsibility as a school leader, as a teacher, as an educator, as an adult human being tasked, tasked as a tasked tasked with overseeing children.

Speaker 2: 7:09

When a parent sends their child to my school, I have the full understanding and belief that what they want for their child is safety. You know I mean for yet the ABCs one, two, three. If the child is not safe, why would I want to send my child to school? But even more than that, if you're not communicating with me, letting me know what's happening, your current situation, that can be disruptive to your day as a school and I can cause way more trauma issues within the school space because now perceptions are being made by me about what's happening in that school. The other thing to myself is my child's safe in that school? Is that child who hit her or whatever the case may have been in the same classroom? This is gonna happen again.

Speaker 2: 7:56

All these things that could have easily been minimized by communicating. And, trust me, I went to my emails over and over again just to make sure in my junk mail there was no email stay, because in this day, the age we live in, people hide behind emails rather than making no phone calls. And I get it, I get it. You know people will send text messages, I get it. It's the world we live in now. But at minimum, do that. My expectation on what I would love is to get a phone call, but hey, I have no control over that. But there will be a conversation today.

Speaker 2: 8:30

So school leaders, teachers, assistant principal, aspiring leaders, remember communication with parents. Their children are the center of what we do. Okay, they're entrusting out their children with us. It doesn't matter who the child is or the child might have done, but you have to communicate with the parents, let them so they are aware, you know, because that minimizes a lot of unnecessary stuff that can happen because we're not communicating. So I'm gonna cut this short. I'm gonna be heading out shortly. I definitely want to make sure that I share this with you and stay tuned to the next episode. Hopefully y'all have some interesting news and hopefully this is a cautionary tale. Don't have the sneaker principal coming to your school asking you why their child got hit and you need to communicate with them. I say that with tongue in cheek, but really don't let any parent be in that situation to call you out. All right, thank you again. Have an amazing day and I'll talk to you all soon. All right, peace.