Your Health First: Juggling Duties and Wellness

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by life’s relentless demands, feeling as though everything is spiraling out of control? I know this feeling all too well, and it's exactly what we're unpacking in today's episode. My personal wake-up call came in 2015, following a car accident that forced me to confront the state of my health head-on. I realized then that I had been putting my work and responsibilities ahead of my own wellbeing. Today, I’m here to share my journey and the valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way, all in the hopes that we can navigate the path of self-care together.

In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at the specific challenges that men, especially those in leadership roles, often face. It’s all too common for us to sideline our health, but today we’re talking about the importance of striking a balance. We’ll discuss how vital it is to make time for our physical, emotional, and mental health, even if that means reorganizing our schedules, waking up a bit earlier, or staying up a bit later. We'll also delve into effective time management strategies, a crucial element in our journey toward holistic wellness. My goal is to highlight the urgency of self-care, sharing practical strategies and personal experiences to help guide you in your own life.

As we close out our discussion, the focus shifts to continuous personal improvement. Becoming the best version of ourselves is a marathon, not a sprint. I want to inspire you to commit to improving by just one percent each day. Through small, consistent efforts, we can achieve significant positive transformations over time. So, I extend an invitation to you: join me on this journey towards wellness. Remember, no matter where you are in your life right now, it’s never too late to start putting your health first.

Chapters

• 0:02 Prioritizing Health and Wellness
• 10:53 Struggles and Self-Care
• 15:35 Strategies for Self-Care and Time Management
• 25:03 Importance of Self-Care and Mental Wellness
• 31:35 Striving for Continuous Improvement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

How are you doing right now? Lightly, really. How are you doing? How are you feeling? How's your health physical, mental, spiritual. How are you Better? Yet, are there any secrets that you're keeping, anything that you're worried about health-wise that you're not taking care of? In this episode of the Stingy Pusual Podcast, I want to engage you in a conversation about wellness and self-care and specifically paying attention to your health. Let's go ahead and start.

Speaker 2: 0:47

When they see me, they know that every day, when I'm breathing, it's for us to go farther. Every time I speak, I want the truth to come out. Every time I speak, I want to shiver. I don't want them to be like. They know what I'm going to say because it's polite. They know what I'm going to say and even if I get in trouble, that ain't what we're supposed to do. I'm not saying I'm going to rule the world or I'm going to change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world, and that's our job is to spark somebody else watching us. We might not be the ones, but let's not be selfish. And because we're not going to change the world, let's not talk about how we should change it. I don't know how to change it, but I know if I keep talking about how dirty it is out here, somebody going to clean it up, and now he's been promoted, his job is principle. That's it, hello, everyone.

Speaker 1: 1:43

This is Uchain Joghu SneakerPrincipal, and welcome to this episode of the SneakerPrincipal podcast. Your health is something that a lot of us, that a lot of you and including myself, don't always fully appreciate, until it drops, until you become unhealthy, until you become sick. So let me stop by telling you a quick story about myself. I've shared this before, but I feel like it's one of those stories that needs to be told over and over again. So back in about 2015 or so, I was in a car accident and, as a result of the car accident, I really tweaked my back and I had to go see a doctor. And doing this appointment with a doctor, you know they know the typical. They take your blood pressure. So they took my blood pressure and you know it's a problem. When they walk out of the room, they say nothing to you. The nurse runs out of the room you know, not run, but quickly walks out of the room. They come back and say we're going to do it again and they use a different technique. Maybe, instead of using the automatic cuff, they use they do the manual reading and they're like ooh, it's a little high, let me get the doctor in. And you're like okay, now this is going to be a third person or third runner of the blood pressure test.

Speaker 1: 3:46

And the doctor comes in and he does it and he's like, how are you feeling right now? And in that moment, I'll be honest with you I was tired, I was a little annoyed. I had to drive from work, put this appointment, a lot of traffic, finding parking was annoying and again, it was just a rough day at work. And he said to me how did you get here? I said I drove and he's like huh, he's like your blood pressure is really, really high, like it's so high that I'm not even sure how. You're still like like mentally functioning right now. And it's funny because my noise turned into watering on rage. I was like guys, listen, can we just move on with this? I just want to go home. And he was like you, I keep like I wouldn't advise you at this point in time in our reality. You know, in cases like this, with limits, like this, we're calling an ambulance to take you straight to the ER, because people in this situation usually are passing out or very passed out. I looked at him like what are you talking about? I also wind up typing the day that I already had at work.

Speaker 1: 5:11

I think, if I remember correctly that day, maybe I've had 30 parent meetings and I was in assistant principal at the time Like three parent meetings. There might have been a fight then, my principal's annoying me, you know, teachers were annoying me. There's all these things happening. And it didn't help that I was about 350 pounds. It didn't help that I was not eating healthy it wasn't. It didn't help that I wasn't getting much sleep. It didn't help that my whole entire life was really wrapped around the school building. I got there early, I left there late, you know, and my whole entire identity was there and tied into the work that I was doing as an assistant principal I made I really made very little room for anything else other than work.

Speaker 1: 6:02

So I'm sitting there with a doctor and the doctor is trying the best to help me understand the severity of the situation. I am not trying to hear it. And he said these words that resonated with me. It still echoes to my head, right, it didn't resonate but it definitely caught my attention. He said to me Mr Andjoku, are you trying to kill yourself? Do you want to die? And I heard him. But I was just like you know what bump this, I'm out.

Speaker 1: 6:45

And I remember I stormed out the hospital and everything. I was re-mad and of course, being angry is not gonna help the blood pressure. It was just so much going on and I went straight to the house. I went straight home and I was just like tired and exhausted and I just I think I just laid down and knocked out. And that's once when I didn't usually do go home and just go to sleep. I would find some work to do and I remember waking up the mulled the night and didn't feel any better and I kept on thinking about what he said are you trying to kill yourself? Are you trying to die? It's funny, but it's my mind.

Speaker 1: 7:32

I wanted to be successful. I want to be great at what I was doing. I want to be seen for the work that I was doing and I wanted to be the best since the principle I could be the best administration I can be. But I do know these things, in spite of the fact that I knew something was wrong with my health. I could feel it, but I'll give myself reasons. Oh, I'm just tired, I'm just not getting enough sleep, I'm just. I'm just. I'm just.

Speaker 1: 8:03

The reality was at 350 pounds. Let's call it what it is. I was very unhealthy and fast forward, you know. Eventually you had to make some some tough decisions and and and this is after several times up and down, losing 30 pounds here, 40 pounds here. I think the most whatever loss at any given time was roughly about 80. I think the most probably lost it any given time from the 350 range was by 80 pounds and I had done that few years earlier. So I've been doing the yo-yo wait up and down, up and down, and I'm it actually got to the point where, you know, I had to make the tough decision of getting guests think I've gained gastro by past surgery. I mind you, I'm. I was never I'm not surgery kind of person. I had my shoulder. I'd had my shoulder repaired a few years prior and that was that was crazy, that was painful, that was like completely just like, not something I would ever want to do again. And here I am and I had to make a decision because my weight was so out of control.

Speaker 1: 9:17

My blood pressure was also out of control, I was pre-diabetic, I had severe sleep apnea, like it was just everything and all the things on all the markers that could lead that typically, lisa, death of black men I had going on shouldn't have. The only thing I didn't have was heart disease. My heart was pretty strong. My heart, my heart walls were healthy and they said you know, that was something. Even when they, when it did my EKG, they were like that was pretty surprising and only thing, the only reason I would, the only thing I would give that to is the fact that even at my biggest size, I was always working out. I was a, I was 350, but I was still in the gym. I was still in the gym and my mentality was like I need to make sure I was powerful enough. I strong enough to be able to withstand anything that they came my way. And maybe that's why you know, you know, even though I wasn't doing much cardio but just lifting weights, got my heart rate up and kept my heart healthy, but everything else was out of control. You know again, pre-diabetic, hypotensive, all these things right.

Speaker 1: 10:23

So I'm, I got the surgery and fast forward. You know, and here I am now. You know, and I'm typically I'm about 225. Am I the healthiest I can be? Absolutely not. Am I still a workaholic? Yes, I am. Am I? Am I more conscious of of my health and and what I do. Yes, I am. Do I drop the ball all the time? Yes, I do, you know.

Speaker 1: 10:53

So it's a struggle, but it's also a struggle that I think doesn't have to be as long as we're conscious of the lies that we're telling ourselves about our health. And I lied to myself for a very long time. You know, I didn't get a 350 overnight and I need come coming to education. At 350 I was probably about 265 or so I was. I was pretty much a powerlifter, I had that powerlifter frame and the work became my priority and slowly but surely, over the next decade or so, I got the 350. And that's when and I'm grateful that I am, that I'm not there anymore, and I do work hard to make sure I don't get back. I don't get to that point, but also know that it is a thin line. You know it's a very thin line between where I'm at right now, or actually where I'm at right now where I could be as far as if I don't pay attention to what I'm doing, and also where I could be if I was more intentional and put more work in which I'm doing. But I know I could do more. So I'm, that's my little spiel and hopefully didn't bore you, but again, I know I'm.

Speaker 1: 12:11

What I'm saying is speaking to someone out there and I'm gonna say this specifically to men, to men. You know a lot of us and again, I know my audience is not just school leaders, it's not just aspiring school leaders, it's, it's. I have people who listen to this who are in various fields, in a very various fields, in education and outside of education. And I'll say this men, you have to take care of yourselves. Too often we, we, we move in the fashion that we are raised to move in or move to move, like, which is we are providers for the caretakers and we take care of everybody else before we take care of ourselves, you know.

Speaker 1: 13:00

And then if there's anything having to do with our health or our health, you know it's, it's we, we. We think that it is weakness to be sick, but the reality is being sick is your body telling you you're not doing something right or something is wrong. So we have to be very conscious, listening to our bodies, annoying Even, knowing all the things that we may face as men, whether it's things just have to do with men in general, whether it's things have to do with our westernized diets, whether it's things that tend to impact black men more so, or Asian men more so, white men more so, whatever race or background you may come from. We have to be conscious of these things because, again, let's be honest here, men live shorter lives than women for a reason Usually it's because we just don't tend to pay attention to our health until it is too late, and so I just want to put that out there and make sure it's very clear. And again, women, same thing with you. You know, it's just that, men, we do a poor job when it comes to staying on top of our health and hopefully, as a man, you have a strong woman next to you, or whether it's a wife or a sister or a mother or a friend who is looking out for you and is pushing you to take care of yourself, and, sadly enough, a lot of men don't have that.

Speaker 1: 14:38

So, again, let's get back to my notes I just wanted to point out before wrapping up this episode. So, first thing, the demands on school leaders we have to check ourselves and be realistic about what we can get done during the day, and I know I'm I need to listen to this myself, but it's very important that you schedule out your day. The demands on school leaders is insane, you know, between the compliance issues and then the things that pop up and the things, that has becomes your responsibility because you have the title of principles or assistant principle. So the number of times where I'm ready to walk out the building, you know, and all of a sudden ring, ring, ring. Such and such didn't get home. You know, and you're like, okay, what's going on here?

Speaker 1: 15:35

Then you find yourself in school making phone calls, trying to figure out where this child is or if the case is wrong these may be and then all of a sudden you find out they were at whatever, wherever's friend's house or at the park and the one new where they were. And now they're home. You know, and guess what? You're the last person in the building, you know. I mean I've been in the building sometimes waiting for police or child protective services to come, to come, come meet me, because there was a child at the school with me. I'm going to tell you now.

Speaker 1: 16:03

Sometimes it's late, at eight, nine o'clock, you know, and yes, but I might say, well, there's all these protocols that could come pick up yet, but you still got to wait with them. You know, you know you can't, you know, as a leader, I'm not willing to just say, hey, child, stay here on the corner until somebody comes to get you, my, my, my belief has always been what the child is in my custody, that that is my child, until I hand them off to the next, to the proper person, whether it's their parent or authorities or wherever the case may be. But things like this make for very, very long days. Yes, they don't happen all the time, but sometimes, you know, there are things that, um, that don't allow you to have a properly scheduled day. But one of the things that I learned, and and I have to remind myself every day, you have to have a full stop at how many days we eat, like I'm done for the day. You know, borrowing those things that that that could pop up at any given time, that are, that are, um, that are just part of the job. Like I said earlier, something happens and what a child. And you have to be there. Yes, I understand that, but you have to. You have to make it a point to knowing to stop your day and also knowing to start your day.

Speaker 1: 17:20

I know people who who their official work day doesn't start till 7 30, but their work is 6 30 every day. You know, I used to be me and that's one of the things that I had to stop doing and because I told myself, rather than taking getting to work a whole hour before I should be there, I can take this from that time and go to the gym and work out. You know, meditate, do something. So I have a clear mind and body before I even walk into the building, versus waking up, jumping, jumping in the shower, jumping in traffic and go straight to work. So think about you wake up, shower, being in traffic and, depending on how far you're driving, that's stress right there. They walk to the building. Then, as you walk in your, your drone is pumping your your stress hormones are are are starting to ooze out. Unless you know that they start and you're going, then if you want those people who doesn't know how to stop the day, they guess what you're doing Now you're at, you're at the job till you know, you know 5, 6, you know whatever it may be. And I know some of you who might be listening to this who work in the environment like Brandon, but it's a joke. You, you, you do that.

Speaker 1: 18:31

No one thing I do do is I do do. One of the things that I that I do is I do wake up early. I do go to the gym and let's look at religion. Religion for me, whether it's going to the gym or getting getting some kind of physical activity, even in the days where I'm like oh my God, overslept, which is rare, I would jump on the floor and knock out 100 push-ups. But again, I have to make sure the blood is flowing in my body and my and that blood is flowing to my brain, to make sure that I'm ready to start the day the right way.

Speaker 1: 19:00

When I'm in traffic and I'm driving, I'm not thinking. I try my best not to think about work. I think I might use that time to engage in some kind of gratitude conversation. I reach out to a friend who might, might be in traffic as well and just to say, hey, what's up? And chop it up. Or I might do an audio book in the car, like these are the things that I'm doing to make sure that when I walk into the building, I turn on when I walk in. Yes, is that? Is that always the case. No, there's some days where you walk into something and then and work might start a little bit earlier just because of the circumstances of that day, you know, and that's okay. But it cannot be. It cannot be like that every single day.

Speaker 1: 19:40

You know the thing, the thing that you need to understand about self care is that it's about taking the time to attend to your physical, emotional and mental well being Okay, physical, emotional and mental well-being and being intentional about that when carving that time out. And for everybody it's going to be different, like in my case. I like early mornings and I like late evenings, you know those two spaces just to like how I unpack my brain, you know, or set myself up for the next day. Now again, is it something that is easy to do? No, it's not. It's very hard because often, if you're not careful, you let the day dictate your 24 hours and for me, my 24 hours have to be broken up Sleep, preparation and release.

Speaker 1: 20:31

So preparation for my day working out, meditating, you know, getting the mind, of body ready. Then, end of the day, release, shut it off. Shut it off so that your body has time to recuperate and reset itself so you can jump into the next day and get back to the grind. So practical self-care strategies. So, like I said, I have it scheduled in my day to work out and I don't have it timed out to meditate, but I do take brain breaks, I do. You know, listen to my body.

Speaker 1: 21:16

There are times when I'm just like, okay, uche, you're starting to escalate, you know your anxiety is starting to reach, get high, or you're getting hyper-emotional, and I will, you know, stop everything, put my do not disturb sign on the door, turn lights off and breathe, or sometime it might just be. I need a complete detachment from what I'm feeling in that moment and I will drop into the floor and do some push-ups. Well, I might. Right now I haven't done that like like I'd drop out of the hat, but previously I would do that, I'd be in the hallway and just drop to do some push-ups. You know, and the thing with that was that doing push-ups or if you're for your jumping jacks or whatever it is, you do because it's something that requires focus and concentration. I, my brain, takes a, my brain takes a break from the thing that it was focused on prior to doing those push-ups. So I don't like to do minimum 40. And, depending on how I'm feeling, I might push for that 100 on push-ups, and I'm talking about 100 push-ups in a row. So I'll do 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10 times to get to that 100. And again, when I'm done, I'm breathing. No, I feel the, the, the adrenaline rush, the blood flowing and all of a sudden, my anxiety is, it's non-existent, and I get to be focused and attack whatever problem is or whatever work I need to get done. So I, so I do things like that.

Speaker 1: 22:44

The other thing, too, is eating doing a day and this is something to get better at doing a day I like to intentionally fast. What I mean by intentionally meaning that today I'm going to fast, this week I'm going to fast and it's part of my intention. Versus I fasted because I didn't get to eat. I was hungry throughout the whole entire day and I was annoyed, and every time I try to get some food to eat, somebody's bothering me or distracting me. So then what ends up happening is, when I do get to eat, I go and grab a bunch of bags of chips and soda or whatever the case may be, because I'm ravenous, I want something quick. Versus when you're intentional, you say, okay, I'm going to start my fasts at this time, I'm going to run to this time and this is how I'm going to break my fast, because if I break my fast at four, maybe I'll have a bowl of fruit or something that honors my body for surviving that fast. That intentionality is very, very important. So those are some of the strategies that I like to employ when it comes to food.

Speaker 1: 23:56

I try to make sure that I'm not putting myself in the position where I'm starving and then I'm hangry throughout the day because I didn't get to eat, and then, between the hunger and the anger and anger, it becomes its own beast, like, I make sure to be intentional and there's no what's happened. There are days where it slips my mind and I'm like, oh, snap. But then once I know, okay, I haven't eaten or I'm getting hungry, then I have to come to the issue with myself Okay, what am I going to do about that? Is there's a hunger where I can make it intentional and tell myself, okay, I'm going to hold off on the next two, three, four hours and then at that point, I'll get something? Or is it something where I'm just like, okay, I need to get something to eat right now. Then I ask myself what is it that is going to allow me to have a more effective day after I eat it, versus something that's going to make me exhausted and droggy and completely out of the loopy after I have in it and I'm talking about like things like sugars and processed foods that just elevates your sugar spike so you're like hyper and all of a sudden you're done. So those are the things that I really think about.

Speaker 1: 25:03

Like you know, how do I make sure that I'm taking care of my body? And the other thing too is then it's being hydrated. You know, getting some fluids in. I'm lucky I have a water cooler in my office. Then there's open to anybody who wants to get water. I just gotta make sure I say that I'm not the king with the water cooler in my office. Now it's stationed in my office. People come in there all the time to get water. But, yes, they're hydrated, especially when you're in a space where you know where the air quality is not that great or you might not be moving as much as you want to move. So you want to make sure you're hydrated, that you're body and muscles are getting a lot of fluids and also allows you to flush your body system out. People don't think about that. You know you have to be regular, whether it's, I mean, especially when you come to go into the bathroom, and the best way to do that is to drink water and let your body be able to flush yourself out.

Speaker 1: 26:01

And then now mental. When it comes to mental and emotional wellness I think I touched upon this already Breathing, that's been my biggest thing. Find a space to just breathe or do something that breaks the monotony during the day. That's something that's very important to me. But the other thing, too, is having trust of people around you that you talk to Like you know, read. Talk to them and say, hey, I'm having a tough day today, but also having people around you who are who you've developed a relationship strong enough for them to say, hey, how are you doing? You don't look too good today or you look tired, and I appreciate that. When people in my staff tell me that, I really appreciate that, because that tells me that they care about me.

Speaker 1: 26:46

Because the other thing, too, I do the same thing. I want to see them. But hey, what's going on? Are you good? Because sometimes… you know, manu, I started this episode by asking you this question and how are you doing? You know, because often how we're doing, especially when it comes to mental, physical, emotional health, is a secret. We say we're fine when we're not. So for me it's very important to create spaces for us to be able to freely express what we're going through, so that we have a tribe and a culture developed within our school of wellness, mutual wellness, taking care of each other.

Speaker 1: 27:28

You know, because, again, that's something that often you don't talk about. You know we suffer in silence and that's something that I try to ensure, at least in my school community, that we're not doing. Am I the best person at doing it all the time? No, but also, I put my money where my mouth is. I have vendors. I have one particular vendor who comes to my school and does that work, not just for myself, I'm sure, not just for my students, my teachers, but also for me, you know, and my parents as well, having workshops, wellness workshop for the parents, you know, going visiting classrooms and doing that work for kids, and then for the teachers and then me myself, you know, having a conversation and when I'm being checked in with to see how I'm doing, how I'm doing personally?

Speaker 1: 28:22

How am I doing professionally? How am I addressing issues in the school, how what kind of support I could be given to be more effective in supporting the school community, like these things are like very, very important and often we don't. We don't engage in them. I'm gonna say it again we don't engage in them because we are embarrassed or we're fearful or we're worried about being judged as being weak, but in all reality, that's not what it is. This is something that I think makes you better. I can tell you this. Ever since I lost the weight and I've been conscious in making the right moves to stay healthy, even though, again, I'm nowhere close to where I'm gonna be, but at least it's there, you know, and then only that being more conscious of my, my my mental well being, something again that I've now was done great at.

Speaker 1: 29:17

But the fact that I'm at like right now, I am conscious of it, you know I am, I am a, I am a big, big even protecting my mental health and being able to tell people like to back off, like really back off when they're infringing on my mental health, and these are things that, as school leaders, are very, very important. Knowing what to take a meeting and not to take a meeting, knowing to, knowing when to you know, being able to tell your superiors like, hey, I'm not doing good right now or I need XYZ these are things that I think I believe are marks of good leaders because, again, if you're serious about your health physical, mental, spiritual, emotional that means you are going to be, or at least you should be. You should be serious about those of the people around you because if you're serious about theirs and they eventually, hopefully they'll be serious about yours and you have, you develop a culture where that is part of the conversation, you know you start your, you start your meetings by doing check-ins, you make sure everybody is good, you're paying attention to people's needs and they're paying attention to your needs students, parents, kids staff, cafeteria workers, bus drivers these are things that are very, very important. So I was moved by, I've moved to make to do this episode, and maybe I've been babbling a little bit because, again, life is short. Life is very, very short and we're not we're not going to be here forever at all, but while we're here, I think it behooves us all to be the best version of ourselves, whether it's, you know, emotionally, physically, mentally. We have to be, we have to be the best versions, and the only way we do that is by listening to our bodies, listening to our inner voices and doing, when doing the work to make sure that we're healthy all around, but also creating space for our colleagues and our staff and our students and those that we care about, to engage in those some conversations. Yeah, please take care of yourself.

Speaker 1: 31:35

If you're listening to this episode, I hope that I said something that just sparked something in you to say you know what? I'm just going to try to be 1% better tomorrow, and that's and that's the really the goal. Just to be 1% better tomorrow, that's it. That's it, because, guess what that after five days, you know you might be 5% better. After 100 days, you might be 100% better, that's. That's that mean of movement, you know. But either way, you got to move forward, you know, and fell forward, stand up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward and reach that place that you end up being the best version of yourself. All right, y'all, this is Uchain's Joker's New Year Principal. Hopefully this was good for somebody and I'll talk to y'all soon. All right, be well, peace.