You Are Not Meant To Be A Principal | Unmasking Imposter Syndrome

Feeling like an imposter in your own shoes? You're not alone. Through the lens of my personal journey, we peel back the layers of the seldom-discussed yet common phenomenon of imposter syndrome among school leaders. As a school principal, I’ve experienced it firsthand, and it's time we openly address this. 

This episode dispels the myth that a school principal is a fountain of knowledge, always ready with solutions. No two situations in school leadership are identical and this episode highlights that sometimes, the best thing a school principal can do is admit they don't have all the answers. So, get ready to challenge conventional wisdom, understand the real challenges of being a school leader, and learn from my experiences of overcoming self-doubt.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome back to the Sneak Principle Podcast. In this episode, I want to talk to you about a topic that is generally taboo when it comes to school leaders, and that is imposter syndrome. Not anybody's meant to be a principal.

Speaker 2: 0:22

When they see me, they know that every day, when I'm breathing, it's for us to go farther. Every time I speak, I want the truth to come out. Every time I speak, I want to shiver. I don't want them to be like. They know what I'm going to say because it's polite. They know what I'm going to say and even if I get in trouble, that ain't what we're supposed to do. I'm not saying I'm going to rule the world or I'm going to change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world, and that's our job is to spark somebody else watching us. We might not be the ones, but let's not be selfish, because we're not going to change the world. Let's not talk about how we should change it. I don't know how to change it, but I know if I keep talking about how dirty it is out here, somebody going to clean it up, and now he's been promoted. His job is principal.

Speaker 1: 1:18

So growing up as a kid in Southern California, the one thing you would always find me with especially- in middle school was a camera, whether it was the 110, you know, the Kodak the 110 film, you know you had to kind of like wind it, you know, or it might have been a 35 millimeter. You know, I always had a camera. You know, and in my mind, deep in my subconscious, I knew, or at least I believed, that somehow, some way, the camera would be always part of my existence. Now fast forward Today. This is not how I pay the bills, you know, even though I have a camera in front of me recording this podcast camera in my hand. I've started to work on having this be part of my, you know, daily ritual, whether it's going for a walk or at my school, documenting the environment was happening as I work with my team to transform a school. What I am now is far from being a photographer or filmmaker or videographer.

Speaker 1: 2:38

I'm a school principal and I'm very confident in my role as school principal. It was always the case Imposter syndrome, that nighting feeling of self-doubt, that voice telling you that you're not good enough, despite my accomplishments, despite what anyone had to say to me about what I was doing. This was something that I dealt with, that I overcame. But not everyone, not everyone, ever comes back and everyone has that moment in their mind, when they become a school leader, of extreme doubt what if I mess up In New York City? This ongoing theme that I think, conn Light, connects every school principal the fear of being on the cover of the New York Posts or the Daily News, or you working in New York Times for doing something that is career killing. So it's a natural thing in posture syndrome, but also, in some cases, it is the foundation of a truth, and that truth is that not everyone is meant to be a principal, not everybody is meant for school leadership and unfortunately, some people find out the hard way, they find out way too late and it becomes something that impacts the greater community. There are some myths about being a principal or about the principal shift that needs to truly be unpacked. There are myths that being a school principal that you need to know everything, that you walk into that space and you are just a library of knowledge and you have every single answer. And that is not true. I'm yet to meet that school leader who has all the answers or has had a perfect run in their career as a school leader, if anything, the majority of the time you don't have the answer. You have experiences that can lead to a possible solution, but no two situations are ever identical, especially when you lead in school. We have those bodies, those bodies in your building children and adults, faculty, you know, teaching, the pedagogues, the support staff, parents, the community, the Bodega owner, donald Block, who loves the fact that in the morning, you know, hundreds of kids are running through their store and pumping their business, but those kids late to school at the same time making, you know, school attendance, you know, quite complicated. You know how do you solve these things all require not an innate inability, an innate ability to have a solution, but just requires so much more.

Speaker 1: 6:19

I'm thinking about the people that I know who inspired me as school leaders, those who I watched and I thought to myself oh my goodness, I can never be as good as them. And now I think about those people who are now friends of mine, colleagues, and I realize that they literally function to what I just described experiences, confidence, the willingness to make mistakes and by doing this their minds become malleable and pliable and they're able to do and see things from different angles and they have these amazing careers and the impacts for me in lives. But in reality, if not everyone can do this, that's a simple fact. Let's call it what it is. A lot of people pursue school leadership. A lot of people pursue school leadership for the simple fact of increased income you know, not understanding that it's the income. In no way does it ever, ever, ever, ever come close to being equitable enumeration to what is required of you as a school leader. I've always said this this is not a job.

Speaker 1: 8:00

This is your life's work. You don't get rich doing this. Yes, you might be more comfortable. Yes, you know you might have a little bit more padding in your bank account, but if you count the number of hours that is spent engaged in the job, that is beyond seven and a half hours, like here in New York City. That is contractually your work time that you realize this is all consuming and in it being all consuming you're minus one. All the time You're always thinking about the next meeting, You're always thinking about the next lesson plan, You're always thinking about next observation, the next million things that are happening. And in that space you have to establish a flow, a flow of how you function in that space and, again, not everyone is cut out for it. It requires a unique blend of skills, temperament but, most importantly, passion, Passion for leading in ways that impacts the whole community. And when you're in that space, there's very little room for doubt.

Speaker 2: 9:25

Even though it's always going to be there.

Speaker 1: 9:30

it requires that you're always growing, you're always willing to accept that you don't have the answers, but even more so that you're willing to say that you don't have all the answers, but you're willing to find the answer. One thing I've seen, or because of my careers, are principles who have had very short careers or have their careers come to an abrupt end because they weren't willing to do one simple thing. Ask someone else. They walk into a room to their schools and they spew all the things that they think should be done because the textbook said so, because they saw somebody else do the same thing in the same situation, but not realizing that every single situation is unique. And that was that.

Speaker 1: 10:49

Union grievance might seem to be about point A, but it's really about point F. So you're dealing with a point A assumption when the issue here has nothing to do with point A. Point A is the facade, it's just the covering of the problem. But if you dig deeper you find this point F. But how do you get there? How do you go? Dig through A and B and C and D and E and realize man.

Speaker 1: 11:24

The issue here was never the schedule the teacher has. The issue was that there is deep anxiety about being able to leave work on time to pick up a child from daycare and that daycare is charging $20, $30, $40 for each additional hour or every 15 minutes that you're late to pick up the child, adding additional stress on this single parent who's a teacher of your staff. So they don't want to speak on their child. But they're telling you the issue is this over here, and I'm just using this as an example but you're dealing with that, saying this is contractory correcting. This is exactly how it should be. I'm sorry that every other teacher but you're not asking the questions. That leads you to F and you're like whoa, how can I collaborate with this teacher, maybe other staff members, to say how do we help our colleague so this doesn't become an additional stressor on them on a daily basis. But you don't know that if you're not willing to seek mentorship, if you're not willing to talk to your colleagues and say, hey, this is what's going on, what do you think I should do versus being the new all? Not willing to ask the question hurts a lot of school leaders. I've seen school leaders that barely made it past half a year in the seat. I've seen school leaders who have the potential to be amazing and really impacted community not make it past. You know, receiving tenure Because again in their minds they have this thing that they're saying I have to be so perfect Because I don't want people to think that I don't know what I'm doing, and that imposter syndrome kicks in and they really believe, without doubting their minds, that they're not good enough.

Speaker 1: 13:52

Again, imposter syndrome is that nagging feeling of self doubt, that voice telling you you're not good enough despite your accomplishments. It's surprisingly common among school principals. I felt it. I'm sure many of you have too. But what do you do about it? Do not lead on Island, do not be your own general, do not be your own captain, do not be your own lieutenant. Do not reject. The diversity of ideas, of thoughts, of experiences will really guide you.

Speaker 1: 14:43

I'm grateful for every principle I've ever had. I'm grateful for every colleague who's a school leader they know I can reach out to and lean on who can now point to me and say, hey, I went through something very similar. Not, I went through the same thing. But that doesn't happen. It's not, it's not possible. Every experience, every happening. It's never identical. It's like looking through a prism what you see is ever changing, even slightly. But however, those perspectives especially if you want to get several perspectives can sharpen your view of what you're going through or what you're dealing with. To all my fellow principals and aspiring school leaders grappling with imposter syndrome you're not alone. It's a journey of self-discovery and growth. Keep striving, learning and, most importantly, believing yourself, and know that there's always someone out there who has a perspective they can share with you, to empower you and help you get to the right decision. Thank you for joining me today. Have an amazing day Until next time.