What If Women Need a Better Option Than Modern Culture Is Offering? | January Donovan

Why are so many women and girls struggling with identity, confidence, and purpose today? 

In this episode, Katie sat down with January Donovan, founder of The Woman School, bestselling author, entrepreneur, and mother of eight, for a thoughtful conversation about the challenges facing women in modern culture and what it takes to build a meaningful life. 

As a school principal and the mother of a middle school daughter, I found much of this conversation deeply relevant. 

We discuss the messages young women are receiving, the gap between achievement and fulfillment, the role of mentorship and formation, and why many women are looking for something more than what our culture currently offers.

 Whether you’re raising daughters, working with young people, navigating your own personal growth, or simply interested in the conversation around womanhood and culture, January offers a perspective that is both practical and thought-provoking. Learn more about January Donovan and her work:

januarydonovan.com 

Topics discussed: • Raising girls in today’s culture • Identity, confidence, and purpose • Mentorship and women’s formation • Motherhood and leadership • Faith, culture, and personal development • Building a life of meaning and contribution If you enjoyed this conversation, please subscribe and share it with someone who would benefit from hearing it. #JanuaryDonovan #TheWomanSchool #WomenAndCulture #RaisingDaughters #Motherhood #Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #FaithAndCulture #WomenLeadership

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Today, I had the privilege of sitting down with January Donovan. She's the founder of the Women's School, a two-time best-selling author, Forbes recognized strategist, entrepreneur, wife, and mother of eight. Through her work, January has trained thousands of women across more than 50 countries and is leading what she calls a feminine revival, helping women rediscover their dignity, purpose, and unique gifts through intentional formation and mentorship. So I have to be really honest, this conversation was incredibly eye-opening for me. As a principal, a wife, and especially a mom raising a middle school daughter right now. So much of what January shared hit really close to home. And we talked about the challenges facing women and young women today, you know, the messages our culture is sending them, why so many are searching for meaning, identity, and purpose in all the wrong places. What impressed me the most is that January doesn't just diagnose problems, points them out. She offers a vision for something better. Her work is bold, countercultural, and deeply needed, both in the church and just in our world today. In a culture that often leaves women feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and unfulfilled, she presents a message rooted in wholeness, formation, and authentic femininity. I left this conversation challenged, encouraged, and excited. I truly believe every woman and every parent raising daughters needs to hear this message. So whether you're a young woman trying to navigate today's culture, if you're a mother raising the next generation, or simply someone searching for a deeper understanding of what it means to flourish, I know you'll take something valuable from this conversation. Let's dive in. So tell us a little bit about yourself. Tell us where where uh where you started.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Yes. Well, thank you so much for having me. I know it was sort of last minute, but it was just a great opportunity. So absolutely. Just a little bit about myself. So I um am a Superville graduate, um, kind of went to a Catholic school, but didn't really have faith or formation. Moved here from the Philippines to the United States, about 11 years old. And um in the Philippines, like I was just telling you, we always just thought Americans were just beautiful. And it was good, you it was kind of conditioned as a culture. And I remember moving as 11-year-old and thinking, nobody's ever gonna like me. Oh yeah, that was you know, just like you're 11-year-old. And so um the first guy that ever liked me, I thought, well, I better, you know, date this guy. Anyways, I didn't have faith in a formation at 16 I get pregnant with this guy. Um, I honestly didn't know Kate how I was I didn't know anything about sexuality. Didn't my mom was great, but you know, she was an immigrant. So there was a lot of things I really didn't know. And then I went to my guidance counselor and she said, January, you know, you've got a future ahead of you, then you need to get an abortion. And I remember thinking, what's an abortion? I really had no idea. Deep down inside of me, I knew something was not right. Like it's not, you know, you have to think your body, your mind, like your heart tells you, but I didn't, I wasn't my conscience wasn't formed. Morally, I didn't really even understand it was a sin. And so I remember walking out of that abortion clinic and feeling just disgusted with myself. Like I didn't um I I I didn't have anyone, I didn't tell anyone really. I think I told one friend in high school.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Um did your parents ever find out?

SPEAKER_02 3:50

No, I think I told them maybe when I was my like early 30s, so I kind of carried that. And then three months later, um, in the process of really wanting to break up with this guy, I get pregnant again for the second time and had my second abortion. At that point, I was a walking zombie. And but I didn't really understand that it was the abortion that caused a lot of low self-worth, anxiety, but it was just a hot mess, and by the grace of God, somebody invited me to a retreat. I met the Eucharist for the first time. I didn't really know what the Eucharist was, um, and that became really kind of the beginning and invited me to just kind of went through my boss of my converge and I pulled away from everything that was familiar to me. Um, I remember turning my TV into an altar, you know, just not knowing. I just I was drawn to sort of that depth in the and the Eucharist, and I didn't know why. And I think I was just aching, and I just needed I needed, I I think our Lord gave me hope and so I couldn't understand it fully. Fast forward went to Stevenville. Um, so that happened at the end of my sophomore year, junior year. And when I'm to Steubenville, I had gone through my conversion, but then when I was there, my first uh first month, I met a consecrated lady, which became kind of a spiritual director. And and she went with me my first month, and I remember our first meeting, just in January. What kind of woman do you want to be? And I thought, Alina, you don't have a choice because yes, you do, let's form you. And so I met with her for three and a half years. Every single month, almost every six weeks, she went around kind of like uh she was a um a traveling kind of um switcher director. And she gave me homework. She formed me from a very human level that I never realized I needed. And my first homework was to get rid of comparison and competition.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Yeah, that's what so that's my when you say flat form you. Yeah, expand on that. So your first homework was what was it? Comparison and competition and competition. Whew. That is that is a good one for especially girls.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Yes. I was because I told her, I was like, well, we I needed a quality friendship, you know, past abortion, kind of put away from my friends. I thought I just wanted to be like quality friends. Yeah. And so, and she said, Well, if you want quality friends, you'd have to get rid of comparison competition. So, form and the way we define it in the woman's school is the ongoing process of shaping your mindset and developing your skills so you can choose your highest good, pursue your highest potential and your purpose without suppressing your feminine, your family, and your faith.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

What a beautiful message for young women to hear. You know, I I women's empowerment, it sounds so beautiful when you when you like unwrap that package, though. It really is hollow. It's hollow. Yeah. I was gonna say empty. You said, yeah. And what a be like it's you just telling me what that, I'm gonna like cry. Well, you just telling me what that lady said to you, you know. I think about my own, you know, growing up and what I thought defined me and my identity. You know, it wasn't until I read JP2's Theology of the Body as a um as an adult in my 30s that I had to do it for a class through Steubenville, actually. Yeah. And um, I I came angry at the hollow message that I was served for how long and that the Catholic Church had this nugget that was kept from me, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Because of truth.

SPEAKER_03 7:13

Why aren't we forming young people, not just young women, but why not why aren't we forming in if we have this nugget of truth, why is it being so poorly given?

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Great question. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

So so tell me how do how do we fix it? How did you fix it? So this is such a problem. Yeah, so so this this person came around and formed you with these just as just having you questions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

So my formation was very unique. She was a psychologist background, but also a spiritual director. Honestly, when I look back, I actually dedicated part of my book to her because I was like, if I really look back on my life, she gave me such a gift that I think was I think by the grace of God. And here's why I I see it. I think there's a lot of faith formation and intellectual formation in our Catholic faith. I don't think that we have an abundance of human formation. So let me sort of explain. We can read the Bible, right, cover to cover, and not know that our facial expression is not charitable. We can read the Bible essentially and not unless we understand how to build a routine, say no to ourselves, communicate banners effectively, make decisions. A woman makes an average of 25,000 decisions a day.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Which then is the cornerstone of our sanctity and the quality of our life. So I think that we I think have a crisis of humanity in our culture. So we're saying, like, why is it being kept to us? I think in so many ways we have the fullness of truth in our Catholic faith. We have so much intellectual formation, but I do think that because of the sexual revolution, which took our mothers out of our homes, families were now not, I would say, the the basis of the cultural infrastructure. Uh, there was a division between men and women. All of a sudden, I'm woman, hear me roar, I can do whatever I want. The empowerment movement that was hollow, compounding that with a sexual, I mean I'm sorry, with the technology. I think women really didn't don't know how to be a woman. I think the foundation of who we are is loss, the foundation of being human. Let me give you an example, conversation. Like a lot of women today are lonely. We now have data that loneliness is an international epidemic. One out of three uh, I would say senior citizens report loneliness. 40% of high school kids report some form of anxiety or loneliness. But we have a mental health crisis that actually now recent data has surpassed cancer. That's how bad it is. And so I think it's not that what's capped, like you're saying. I don't think it's been introduced to us in a way that the world has changed post-sexual revolution or post-technology, which is why I think that we have to be on a mission to introduce not just human formation, but feminine formation. You know, what does it really mean to know a hundred skills as a woman, which is essentially how to live our life well? Like I think most of us have never been taught. Like we have a you know, a health crisis, nobody teaches a woman how to cook, how to clean. We don't have home economics, we have a loneliness crisis, nobody has like we should have built-in conversation skills in our and our elementary school.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

So some of this, I think, is just not part of our cultural, I would say, infrastructure. And we assume we know how to be a woman just because we're born one. I think that we need to start asking our questions. Do we really have the foundational tools to live on our feminine genius?

SPEAKER_03 10:35

And I say we don't. So, how did you answer that? Is that what your your woman's school and your foundation came to try to solve the world's problems?

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Well, it's laughable. So I I think the woman's school actually kind of really started in college for me. I didn't I didn't understand it, you know. Like I just felt like, whoa, I've been given this gift. Like my homework was get rid of comparison competition, get up at 4 30 in the morning so I could pray, study myself, exercise, and go to mass. Like that was my homework, and because I was so broken.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Those were the two things that she gave to you at what age?

SPEAKER_02 11:07

I was old were you? In college. I was like 17, 18, I mean, yeah, roughly. Okay and the third one was um make my bed before I went to the bathroom. But I had hundreds of homework. That was like the first, you know, like for example, like I needed to learn how to have conversation that wasn't about me. I needed to learn how to compliment women. I mean, let me this is like the extent of what I what she told me. So how to get rid of comparison competition. What she my homework was I need you to find 10 women that you felt that you were threatened. I need you to study them, harvest one thing that you want to learn from them. I want you to emulate it, I want you to pray for them, and I want you to be their friend. That was my homework. Wow, come to middle school. How I never struggled with comparison again. Wow. And she rewired my brain. I had no idea. All I told her was I was lonely. Yeah. And and but here's the thing, because of the abortion, she said January write three, I would write 20. You know what I mean? Like I was so broken and nobody knew. Like I was in Souvenville, and I I I I was crying every day, you know. And I think I was crying a bit every day because all of a sudden I realized the sin I was going, you know, the sin of of the abortion, but also just a robbery of like what I didn't know about myself, such a low self-worth. And so it was a very specific grace that I think our Lord gave me to the formation. And that's just one of I met with her for three and a half years. How long would your homework last again? Ah, she had all these different papers. I need to bring it with me because it literally has I had to write my routine every single day. And it was funny, like my reputation in college in Steubenville was she was a 430 girl. Like it was just like a 430 girl, yeah. But I mean, it was I really say like it was grace and it sounded like, oh, Jennifer, that's great. I was just so broken. Yeah. That I was like, I think I ached to be with our Lord because I was so, I was, I was ripped from the inside out. Yeah. You know, right. And I committed to not date because I just felt like I didn't know how to love myself. And I remember my spiritual director, Elena, she's like, You really can't receive love unless you know how to love yourself. Yes. And so there were so many wounds in there. It just wasn't one. I need to learn to forgive myself, I need to learn to communicate boundaries, I need to learn how to like myself, like not based on what other people think. I need to learn how to manage critics. I mean, which is really what we teach really in the woman's school. So it started essentially there. Like I remember a Jubilee celebration for women. It was very clear our Lord said, why don't you have a Jubilee celebration

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SPEAKER_02 13:32

for women? We had Kimberly

(Cont.) What If Women Need a Better Option Than Modern Culture Is Offering? | January Donovan

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Han in there as a speaker. This was like whatever, 2000, I went to the Jubilee door. And it was a, I think like it was sort of a commissioning. And honestly, because in so many ways I was felt so much gratitude. And then even then, my junior year, we went to college and we didn't know what we were doing and we wanted to like do formation school in college. And then I just kind of continued. I I was I was sitting to my theology classes and my philosophy classes and thinking, nobody knows how to live that, Dr. Hod. Yeah. You know, like it's great. I'm like, we're the fullness of truth. Great in theory, but how do we make it applicable? So true. Yeah, that was like my story. Was like, okay, this is great. We don't know how to live this. We don't like, I'm like, I just need to know how to talk to a boy.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Well, you start it started with other women. I mean, if we can't, like, how do we without tearing each other down, right? Which is what, yeah, um, my daughter's in middle school, you know, and to that sixth, seventh, and eighth grade years are so hard for girls. Yes. And and the comparison, it that's it that nails it right there.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Well, I think we have to first introduce it to the mothers because part of it is language. So so much of what we do in the woman's school is scripting. So, for example, my daughter, every time before we go to school, I mean, when school starts, we always I always give them a script. So we literally do neuroscience to help them understand. We have thousands of scripts, like our workbook. And one of the things that we were working on was, you know, how do you deal with critics? And so one day she came home from school, um, and she was eight at the time, and she's like, Oh, it's cool, you know, and just like, oh, it's good, mom. Kid kind of make fun of me. I was like, great. And I was like, Well, are you okay? She goes, What do you say? It's like, oh yeah, we're good. I just told him his opinion of me was not my opinion of me. Wow. And it was just like matter of fact, what we've been training, like in my own house, there's no comparison. So when they start to say, You're better, I'm better, there's a language. What we basically, there's illegal words in my house, but this is what we teach with thousands of women in a woman's school. And it's massive difference because before you can even police the crisis in the middle school, you have to give them a new language. So, for example, there's no, you don't ever criticize another woman. Like that's just a standard. Like, I can look at my daughter in the eye and say, you don't ever hear me judge another woman. And I had the same expectation of you. So I but it comes also from the mothers kind of cutting what we didn't learn and introducing that. You don't hear me compare myself. You don't hear me in the mirror go, I'm F-A-T. You don't hear me say I'm a horrible mess, I'm a S T P I D. And so, but I had to unlearn, relearn, yeah, learn because they, it's not what we tell them, it's what they inherit from us. So my daughters don't struggle with it, but not because it's some you know special grace, but because they just know mind management is an important thing. They know, well, you know, I'm looking at my 15-year-old and my my nine-year-old was working through, you know, some of emotion. And they're like, no, women are not emotional. You need to have command of your emotion. This is what you say. This is my 15-year-old talking to my nine-year-old.

SPEAKER_03 16:27

And you're watching that, are you like proud mom moment in the background?

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Like, we listen. Well, it's not always like that, trust me. It's like it's, you know, I'm trust me, I'm like, uh, you need to be in your room for a couple hours. So it's like real. But I think where my heart is is that I see the, I see the aches of women who like, no, I don't want that for my daughter. I just need new tools. Yeah. You know, and so that's where we're on the mission. I said, well, that's one skill out of the hundreds of skills that we teach is comparison and judgment. But here's the thing: judgment and comparison, also, we want to be able to make sure that girls know how to make a decision. And then they also know how to manage failure. That's another script, you know. Like in our dinner time, we have this thing called GFG. We teach frameworks and formulas in our school. What is GFG? Well, what are you grateful for? How did you fail today? And what did you gain from that failure? So now failure becomes part of growth, you know? And so we teach the women to study themselves. How do you study your tonality? You know, I could go and be like, hey, what's up, dude? Or you can say, Hello, how are you? You know, right, right. So, like the basis of communication, you know, I was just speaking at a college campus and I said, What's the basis of communication? And they're like, I don't know. And they're like, How much money are you gonna be in debt until you graduate here? They're like 200,000. I'm like, if you don't know the base of communication, then you were robbed of your college education. Totally threw the college under the bus. But yeah, 7% are words, 38% tonality, 55% body language. Can you imagine teaching couples that? Right, right. Couples didn't understand. I think my daughter will come to me like, I'm sorry. I'm like, well, you're sorry with your 7%. Yeah, I like that. And but they know it. Yeah, you know, and I hear them saying to each other, you're like, Well, they'll even come to me like, Mom, your 38% was not really good. Like, they'll hold me accountable. But the language is there, you know, they know, and yes, we do, I do it imperfectly. Like, but if we create a culture in our own home where formation, meaning the shaping of our mindset, because you know, right now anxiety is a massive crisis, stress is a massive massive crisis. And my daughters know that you're stressed because that's what you focus on. Because there's a part of our brain called called a reticular activating system, which expands what you focus on. If you're pregnant, all of a sudden you start to see pregnant ladies, you never saw them.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

That's true. When you buy a new car, you only see that car on the road. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Yes. And so they'll be like, Well, mom, you're focusing on it, you know. So they know that the words they have to be careful in the words they choose because the words they choose shape their perception. You know, the same external circumstance, but different interior perception, you know? And so what we teach women is that why don't we actually not just have freedom, but focus on interior freedom, the freedom to choose our highest good. And women are capable of that.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

You know, I can look at my daughter and say, no, your period is not an excuse for your negativity, not an option. You are, you know, you're stronger than that period. Your hormones, you can command your thoughts, your thoughts command your emotion, your emotion actually you know, command your physiology, and your physiology impacts your spiritual receptivity. They know that, right? And so we also teach women to focus on the whole version of themselves, you know. So it's not just here's my, you know, you know, like uh myself, my my mental health, but I could exercise but not manage my mind. But we have to teach women friendship. We need to teach women, you know, skills for relationship, their contribution. Some of them will be mothers, some will be working mothers. How do they have the skills to contribute the best of who they are? So that we can go before God and say, Well done, my good and faithful servant. Yeah, you have contributed and become who I have created you to be. What about our homes, our environment? How do we teach women how do we have homes where where they're nourished mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually? Or, you know, we talk about like our wealth arena or our family. So what we do in the school is that we even have a metric, zero to ten, you know, are you flourishing in your self-image? Or zero. Zero to ten, are you flourishing mentally, emotionally, physical, spiritually? And then what happens is that every season, sometimes we're flourishing in our mental health, sometimes we're not. Sometimes we're flourishing in a marriage, sometimes we're not. And it becomes sort of this a concept of constant ascending of your highest best self. And the whole the actually, this wheel comes from the scripture of Matthew 5.8, which is be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect. Perfect comes from the root road to lead you, which is actually to be whole. It's not perfect as flawless. How many women today struggle with this, you know, perfection? Even the word perfection is illegal in my house. I'm like, perfection is only reserved for our Lord, you know? Yeah. And the way they define perfection is that it it becomes her self-worth. So we have to teach women to say, no, it's about pursuing a life of order and wholeness. I love that. And so now my my daughters can be like, okay, it's ready to ten, you know, I haven't been eating healthy mom. I can tell that it's affecting my mental health, it can affect my friendship. They now have a language to then be aware of every arena.

SPEAKER_03 21:09

And a self-awareness, right? So when someone comes to you, is that the first thing you have them do is take that self-inventory. It's called a wholeness quiz.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

A wholeness quiz. Okay. And it's very simple. You know, there's like five questions in each arena. Um, but it just gives you a metric. Like if you were in business, you have a metric, right? Just so that you what you cannot measure, you cannot improve. It's not that you're a failure, it's that you're always growing. And maybe you were a 10 in your marriage, but then maybe I don't know, something happened and now you're a two. You know, it doesn't mean that you're a failure, it just means that you know how to manage your life of wholeness. And by developing your skill set, then you can say, you know what? I just need new tools in routine. I just need new tools in, you know, communicating my boundaries effectively. I just need new tools in prioritization. We're layering that tool so it's not this daunting thing. What's daunting is that. We we haven't had this incrementally in every season of our life, you know, or our elementary and high school. So all of a sudden we have mothers that are like, Oh, I'm learning a hundred skills, I've never been given how some others, it's not your fault, right? You know, we I'm very intentional by the fact that how would you have known if nobody ever showed you how? You know, and it's like in a world where we're expected perfection when women are not preparing.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

And it's and it's it takes vulnerability and humility to say, I don't know how to do this or I'm failing at this, right? So it's and especially in a world that shows our just our snapshots are good, right? And we compare. And yeah, oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

And humility really is kind of the cornerstone of what work we do. And we always tell women you can't teach a woman who knows it all. Yeah. And it but it is actually a massive crisis. I'm gonna uh just point this out to you because I think I was talking to Chris Stefanic, and I was like, Chris, you know, like I think there's such a crisis of what we call fix and growth mindset. And it's a book written by Carol Dweck. Yeah, and the premise is so simple. One is pride, one's humility, one is open to feedback.

SPEAKER_03 23:06

She just rebranded humility and openness to chance.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Yes, and give it like the language, but I think it's a such a great language for couples, yeah. You know, to be like way, like my my husband at the very beginning of this, like, I love rice. I'm full, you know, and I'm just like, I am never giving up rice. Like, and he would be like, That's a bit fixed mindset. I'm like, no, it's you know so it it gives us language for accountability, and so and I think as Catholics, you know, we ought to be leading the formation because we really have the depth of the anthropology for the whole person. Yes, yeah, we have the sacraments, we have the graces, we have the Eucharist, we have our lady. Like unfortunately, Kate, we are part of the data, but the mental health crisis is not reserved for non-Catholics only, right? Yeah, faithful Catholics, and that's why I tell women women are struggling today, not because of lack of faith, they're struggling because of lack of formation. They love the Lord, they want to do the best that they can, but if they've never been shown how, then inevitably they're struggling, but not because it's their fault. You know, and that's what we're coming in. That's what our mission is that what if formation was feminine formation was part of our culture infrastructure? We have mental health, we have exercise, we have like wealth. I'm like, formation is the preemptive work, it's the development of the human person. That's what essentially I'm like, then maybe we could solve the mental health crisis, the moral decay, and create a counter-movement to the sexual revolution. That's what we're basically boldly saying. But I think there's a I think there's a revival that's happening in our culture today, but I think the hunger is actually so deep because the crisis is so deep. And I think evil is no longer hiding. Yeah, that they actually want depth. They want the formation, they want more.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

No, this is speaking to me. I'm I'm like, yes, and tell me more because yeah, it is, you know, when you know, when you know the answer, right? Like it's kind of it's it's like eating right. You know you should, right? And you don't, right? Or or I know I need to get up at whatever and exercise. I know I need to get up at five o'clock in the morning to get my my me time. I know the answers. I know what needs to happen, but it's it really is so difficult. It's a heavy lift to be consistent with it. It really is. And I think that you're right. I think that there needs to be skill sets that are developed along with the grace that comes from our faith. So it's such a beautiful infusion of that to have your faith along with it, not just like a self-help. It's not self-help, it's a God help, right? It's a it's a development of skills.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Yeah, I think it's in I think it's virtue formation that's specific to our feminine genius. Yeah. And I think that it's just virtues broken out by size pieces. And that's why I think that Catholics need to lead the way in a feminine revival, because we have our lady. Yeah, you know, and and here's what I think. I think that the world has rejected our lady because in some ways we have been orphaned of the necessary formation that we needed to actually incarnate her virtues to the world. I think I would dare say, Catholics, we have a duty. And I think in so many ways we are responsible for bringing her to the world. And I think that responsibility comes from the way we actually form ourselves. Because I think of St. Francis, you know, go preach the gospel and if necessary, use words. What if we say, go tell the world about our lady? And if necessary, use words. What if our living testimony in the way we live at our feminine genius in a very excellent way becomes the living testimony of who she is? And what if that is a new evangelization? And all that is grace. And I always tell women, you know, January, it's not about a perfect life. I'm like, actually, perfect you know, formation is a cross. You know, it you can choose your heart, the heart of no routine.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

I love the choose your heart uh argument. Yes. I've said it's my kids a lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

But the heart of formation, and I always say we need to die to our own self in order to give rise to a new woman every day. And that's why the new woman, the the masterclass is called the new woman, because we are as Catholics called to endure the death and resurrection every single day. That we are to say today, I have an opportunity to become a, you know, that new woman that God has designed me to be. So I think that we die to our own formation and we rise to our own flourishment. And I think that's how we flourish is that we endure the death of our formation.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

So you have eight children. And how many? It's beautiful. I mean it's so beautiful. How many of them are girls? Four girls, four boys. So you have four girls, four boys. So in your conversations at home, um, do you differentiate then on how you're raising them? Because I have one girl and one boy. So I mean, I know there's like I'm want to raise a man, right? And then with my girl, I want to undo a lot of the things that I took on as a middle school girl and then girl in high school. And I, and I think this is beautiful because you're right. I as a as a woman, we know what we're lacking, but we need the tools to help correct that. So, how like how do you raise them differently? And what what kind of focuses do you have for each?

SPEAKER_02 28:03

Yeah, the great. I think that we are called to maximize our God-given purpose and potential. I think that what I think it's important to know that we don't, our mission is not to put women back the way it was 150 years ago, what we call fragile femininity, where women were silent, told to be in the background and kind of indifferent. But we have come kind of the radical extreme, which is a vicious feminism where we don't need a man, I can be a man. Yeah. So what we are basically saying, and I'll go back to your question, is that we're introducing a new model of women. So what we're based, what I how I raise my children is that I believe that women are called to nurture humanity. And we as women are called, we are given, I would say, the gift by God towards the other person. That's why women are more complex, because women are oriented towards people and men are oriented towards things. That's like the only kind of clear data. We're mostly the same in terms of biology, even for the women. I mean, yeah, obviously they're different, but we're a lot alike, men and women, but we obviously got great as male and female different. But what actually what data is saying that women are oriented towards people. So back to kind of how I raise my daughter. So I really raise them to understand their nature as nurture. What does that mean? I'm very fierce in how they manage a home. I'm very fierce about their ability to help understand how they make people feel. So, for example, in my kitchen, they time themselves when they cook. And I I'm always talking to them. Cooking is a way to nurture the soul. So, for example, I say you're responsible for dialogue and conversation. So I talk to them very differently about their purpose to be nurturers. Now, for men, I can't teach, you know, my sons the way my husband can, obviously. But I bring out different stuff for my son, but it's very different. I think that I when I talk to my son, I see them as a protector and a provider in a different way than a woman is, you know. And here's why I tell my daughter I say, one day, biologically, you are going to be vulnerable. Meaning, no matter how much you want to work, you might get pregnant and you can't. Something might happen. God forbid. You know, you could be bad, you know, um, what is it called? Um, bedridden, bedressed, bed rest or vulnerable. I need you to find a man who's going to be able to provide for you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I need you to know that no matter what, your biology, which makes you so beautiful, has both a gift and its limits, and you can't fight it. So I need you to find a man who's going to protect you. So I speak of them in that way. And then I tell my son kind of the same thing. And I tell my daughters, you know, because sometimes they give me a hard time. No, men can wash dishes. My husband, you know, is great. Like it's not that they can't, right? But I will tell my daughter, I need you to understand that your ability to nurture your brother is your practice to nurture your home someday. So this is what I say. So I typically make breakfast, you know, and I'll make a breakfast because my son's 18, so he is like golf. So I have to kind of sometimes get up early or whatever it is. And I said, right now, I need you to make your brother breakfast as your practice, and I need you to do it with love. I need you to crispy on the eyeside egg, you know. So I said, make this your practice because I need you to learn how to study men. It's we, you know, we are so called to love our husbands, but we are never formed, meaning mindset and skills that train to study men. This is an injustice. You can't love something you don't know. So I need you to study. So when I talked to him, I said, I need you to study the response your brother has for you and study what you're saying that's causing that response, cause and effect. So I'm always kind of having these kind of conversations. So in my home, it's a whole language, and we teach all of this in mass class. I'm like, oh, looks like you need to retone yourself. For example, like, you know, when they say things a little bit like harsher, I'm like, you're gonna get a different response. But maybe you say, Hey, Jack, can you help me with this? It's gonna be different, hey, can you help me with this? Yeah, two different response. Right. By your tone alone, you can build a man or break a man.

unknown 31:57

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

So I, you know, these things are just kind of infused. So I don't know if that answers your questions, but yes, very differently. But the same standard, I think, of sanctity, of reverence, of integrity. Like in my house, you know, when somebody lies, which they all do, we all have, it's a thousand scripts. They have to write. And they most of my half of my children have written because we've all failed, you know. Like I'm a woman of integrity, I'm a woman of my word. They've written that, like, because instead of my next question was what did they write? Okay. Oh, yeah. They're rewiring their brain. You know, I do it, you know, I put things away right away. Oh uh. You know, I like I say, like, for example, like in my own house, I'm like, sometimes I, you know, when I have like a long day, I have to work or whatever, I'm speaking or something, like you're in charge, right? You're in charge. I said, when I come home, I expect you to have a clean house. That is my expectation of you. That is your responsibility. And some people they get stricken and they they my children love it. They're like the designated babysitter because when they babysit, the house is spotless. There's nothing in the sink, you know. And so I I teach them to manage their home in a different way than I teach to manage, you know, my son. Not that they shouldn't be cleaning, you know. Yeah, yeah. Um, so, anyways, I hope that answers your question.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

Yeah, no, that does that help that's helpful too, because it is. It's and we need to acknowledge their differences, but still, like you said, hold hold them both to high standards, just in different ways.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Yes, and just do and in our house, you know, and I teach this in in the woman's school. God places a dream in our heart that nobody else can fulfill but us. And that is a dream that we have to uncover and discover because it's in harmony with his purpose for us. So I teach women there's a distinction between goal setting and dreaming, they're not the same. We teach women the distinction between goal setting. Goal setting is just there's a metric, right? You just have there's a deadline. A dream is requires faith, right? It re it is in harmony with the way God designed you in that particular season. So in my house, we talk about dreaming as an important skill set. Why? Because a lot of times mothers are told then you have to re you know, to essentially suppress your dreams so that you can be a mother. And I always challenge mother. I said, So you want me to go look at my daughter and say, You're the reason I gave up on God's dream for me. But go chase your own dreams. Yeah. Right. So we need to teach women how to dream in context of our vocation as mothers. But the more skills that we teach them, the more capacity they have to actually fulfill God's purpose for them. And that's what I tell women. I said, formation, ultimately, the goal in there is yes, to flourish, but the ultimate goal is to actually have greater capacity for the spiritual warfare around us. Ultimately, it's to become a greater apostle for Christ.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

What would you say is your target audience? Would you say it's a it's an emerging woman about to you know have a family or women who already have families, teenage girls? What would your target audience do?

SPEAKER_02 34:46

Great. So we have thousands of students across 50 countries and they're from 18 to 80. Because we teach 100 skills, so it's really beautiful. So one of the, I think, reason why it works is because they have the formation course called the New Woman, but they do it in this in a small group model. So they have a mentor, which we call like the spiritual motherhood, and a group of five, seven, sometimes 20 women. And what's beautiful is that now you've got a 60-year-old sharing what they're learning about their self-worth, about boundaries, about communicating effectively to a 40-year-old. And the 40-year-old is then learning, and then there's a 20-year-old that is actually generational learning, but they're learning the same things but with different levels of depth and different seasons. And it works beautifully because it's almost like replicating your aunts and you know the wisdom that was handed down. And then you've got six-year-old women that are learning from these like 40-year-old women. So that's and when I say demographic, it's really women who want depth, want meaning, who want purpose, who feel like they want to be able to actually bring Christ to the world. You know, I think ultimately Catholics are most majority of our audience, and I think because they resonate. I think when they go into the program, they know it's written in Catholic anthropology. We have theologians that are going through it. Um, but we also have our how to be a woman formation 101, which is essentially for college, maybe single women. And our vision there is to go into college campuses and say, nobody's teaching you how to be a woman in a world they can't define it. Here's your human feminine formation course.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Right.

unknown 36:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

And we want to introduce feminine formation circles on every college campus as a supplemental education system. Because I just did a presentation. I said we spend $1.2 trillion a year on mental health crisis, $900 billion in our educations in college, um, I think $50 billion on K to 12. Why is there a mental health crisis? There's something that's missing, and that's why we think what's missing is a practical life human formation, but more importantly, feminine formation. So we want to be able, our bold vision is to say, let's bring this to every institution. Let's bring this to parishes and pregnancy centers and college campuses, and let's offer them the things that we were not taught in our current infrastructure.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

How are you taking it college campuses with this message that's countercultural? It is very countercultural. So, you know, are you welcomed or do you have a question?

SPEAKER_02 37:08

We're first really going to Newman Center. So that's awesome. And I think because our our our course is rooted in natural law and Catholic anthropology, but I'm not doing an exegesis. I'm not doing like math. It's not a Bible study. We're talking about routines and boundaries. It's the best way to actually evangelize. You can bring women in. So we're but we're starting with our newman centers. But we had a, you know, our one of our mentors spoke to 4,000 sorority members, and they could say, Hey, why don't you sign up sorority members and have your group study.

SPEAKER_03 37:40

Yeah, hit up the sororities. That's smart.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

Yes. And and we're gonna inevitably hit. Yeah. The reality is that you're gonna, you know, you're gonna have women that are not gonna like the fact that we define what a woman is. Right. But here's my thought on that. You know, I think that the transgender movement, all the propaganda, I feel like they too are not formed.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Right. I agree.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

And I just think that maybe if we can have a discussion and a debate and a conversation on, okay, let's actually give you evidence on why you're so valuable. I think we can cover a lot of ground. And so that's our mission is to go there and say, listen, I'm just giving you 100 skills that you're not giving, take it or leave it. And throw away some. It's controversial because we define what a woman is. Yes, it leans conservative because we are, we don't, we're not relativistic. Yeah. You know, we we believe in natural law, but at the end of the day, I can't they have to be open to it. And I think what we if we can form and equip those that are hungry, you know, and those that are faithful, because I guess because I've been doing this for a long time, you have a lot of faithful girls within our college campus who have no clue how to make a decision, yeah, how to honor their self worth, how to talk to men, how to have friendship. They're good girls.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

And what's happening that they're ill-equipped and then they become others. That's that that was, you know, like that's most of us. I mean, I do what I do because I didn't have it. Yeah. I don't blame these women. We want to catch these girls before they have to make some of the most important decisions of their life, who they marry, who not to marry, what career, you know, motherhood. Like, let's fold in feminine formation or college campus so that we actually can save the generation. It's a bold, you know, vision, but at the same time, it isn't because it's an invitation to say one formed woman at a time. Yeah. The invitation is your own formation for your own flourishment. So, yes, it's big. Yes, we want to say the feminine revival is saying we want to build a counter movement to the sexual revolution, to the moral decay, and the crisis of the mental health. We want to say it's time for us to stop. We can't continue with the statistics right now. 60% of women are, you know, are in prescription um medication. Um at their senior, you know, how that's gonna be 80% in the next 10 years. How are we gonna continue? And I think that we as Catholic, who I think our Lord has entrusted, which is, you know, the grace and our lady, we should be in the front lines and saying, we're gonna, we're gonna reclaim the future for women. Yes. And how do we do that? Through formation. I think it's it's obviously all with grace, all with the grace is the Eucharist and our lady. But let's lead the way. Yeah, let's introduce a new model of woman right in a world that is hungry for truth.

SPEAKER_03 40:16

It's a both and there, not an either end. Yes, for sure. I love that. That's so beautiful. Wow, this is I'm excited. I'm excited to to to dive into it myself. Um, anything else about um your organization or anything that you want our watches, our listeners to Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:33

Well, I think I think what we want to create here is a feminine revival, but more importantly, a Catholic feminine revival. And we want to boldly say, imagine if we said, I want to invite you to become a feminine revivalist. The abolitionist stopped slavery, the feminist, we're the bad, gave women freedom. What if the feminine revivalist, we can make history and say they were the ones that stopped the mental health crisis, the moral decay, and they took a stand against a false model of women and they introduced a new woman. So my invitation is to become part of the feminine revival movement, become a feminine revivalist, and men can be, I'm a revivalist, we're gonna have a merch that says it. And what that really means is three things commit to your own formation. We don't change somebody else's world, we change our own world. And that it's, you know, our mission is our own interior freedom. So there's a three C's, commit to our own formation. So my invitation to anyone listening, you know, let's really own our own formation. Let's say, you know, what I haven't arrived. I have a lot of work to do. We all have.

SPEAKER_03 41:37

Yeah, give what you don't have. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

And number two, um, connect, connect women to the feminine revival, connect women to their own formation, connect women to this mission of a feminine revival. Number three, contribute their time, treasure, and talent. If women want to fund a college, if we want to fund a, you know, maybe those have means or maybe connections or time, fund a college, fund the Clemson University, fund a Newman Center, fund a pregnancy center, fund a parish. We just had a woman who funded two parishes and two universities. We just had one couple that funded two parishes because we want to be able, you know, to be able to bring this into every parish as a a, I would say, uh a formation that women can have in all parishes. And what we do is that we go to these parishes and we say, we have the new masterclass, give us your leaders, leaders, we will form them. Give us, you know, um, the women, we will offer the system to form them through the new masterclass. We're gonna give you your designated formator. You can have office hours. So any questions you have on formation, we will give you a formator that's designated for your parish, for your pregnancy, for your college campus. So if anybody wants to fund that or connect us, please. This is, I think, a movement for all of us for such a time as this.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

That's amazing. Thank you so much, Anyway. This has been a beautiful conversation. It's amazing. No, I'm very excited. So thank you so much. Um, there will be uh more information on on all this and and more in in the um links below. Don't forget to subscribe. Bob usually always says this spiel not me. He's like, Oh, don't forget to follow and subscribe and do all the things, all that, you know. And thank you so much again. Thank you.