{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":2.46,"endTime":5.1,"body":"Have you ever wondered whether the"},{"startTime":2.46,"endTime":5.1,"body":"problems in the world today would"},{"startTime":5.1,"endTime":8.37,"body":"exist if we had deeper connection"},{"startTime":5.1,"endTime":8.37,"body":"to ourselves, others, and the"},{"startTime":8.37,"endTime":10.47,"body":"environment, and acted from that place?"},{"startTime":10.74,"endTime":13.98,"body":"Welcome to the Conscious Action"},{"startTime":10.74,"endTime":13.98,"body":"Podcast with your host, Brian"},{"startTime":13.98,"endTime":17.44,"body":"Berneman and Kayla Greenville, who"},{"startTime":13.98,"endTime":17.44,"body":"believe that connection is the."},{"startTime":17.57,"endTime":21.35,"body":"Key to taking conscious action as"},{"startTime":17.57,"endTime":21.35,"body":"individuals and creating a better world."},{"startTime":21.71,"endTime":25.4,"body":"We're here to raise awareness and"},{"startTime":21.71,"endTime":25.4,"body":"inspire meaningful action by sharing"},{"startTime":25.4,"endTime":29.21,"body":"stories, knowledge and conversations"},{"startTime":25.4,"endTime":29.21,"body":"with thought leaders and change makers."},{"startTime":29.63,"endTime":33.86,"body":"From sustainability to wellbeing and"},{"startTime":29.63,"endTime":33.86,"body":"everything related to conscious living."},{"startTime":34.07,"endTime":38.12,"body":"Our mission is to empower you to be the"},{"startTime":34.07,"endTime":38.12,"body":"change that you want to see in the world."},{"startTime":40.199,"endTime":43.83,"body":"Welcome everyone to a new episode"},{"startTime":40.199,"endTime":43.83,"body":"of the Conscious Action Podcast."},{"startTime":43.949,"endTime":48.449,"body":"I am Brian Berneman and your host and I"},{"startTime":43.949,"endTime":48.449,"body":"have the pleasure to be joined all the way"},{"startTime":48.449,"endTime":51.55,"body":"from Australia and Victoria by Jem Fuller."},{"startTime":51.78,"endTime":55.769,"body":"Thank you and Jem for taking"},{"startTime":51.78,"endTime":55.769,"body":"the time for being here for."},{"startTime":56.715,"endTime":60.945,"body":"Really doing what you're doing,"},{"startTime":56.715,"endTime":60.945,"body":"uh, because we need more of"},{"startTime":61.005,"endTime":62.595,"body":"this conscious communication."},{"startTime":62.595,"endTime":63.615,"body":"We need more leadership."},{"startTime":63.615,"endTime":67.425,"body":"We need to show up better"},{"startTime":63.615,"endTime":67.425,"body":"in the world, as I believe."},{"startTime":67.725,"endTime":72.285,"body":"But I want to, to explore this"},{"startTime":67.725,"endTime":72.285,"body":"topics a little bit more in"},{"startTime":72.29,"endTime":73.935,"body":"depth during this episode video."},{"startTime":73.935,"endTime":78.435,"body":"But first of all, thank you for being"},{"startTime":73.935,"endTime":78.435,"body":"here and for everyone that is listening."},{"startTime":78.675,"endTime":80.475,"body":"Can you share a little bit about who is."},{"startTime":81.804,"endTime":82.795,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"startTime":83.185,"endTime":87.445,"body":"Um, first of all, it's a pleasure to"},{"startTime":83.185,"endTime":87.445,"body":"be here and um, and thank you very much"},{"startTime":87.445,"endTime":90.175,"body":"for offering me to come onto your show."},{"startTime":90.265,"endTime":91.585,"body":"Um, I'm very appreciative."},{"startTime":92.695,"endTime":93.625,"body":"So who is Gem?"},{"startTime":93.955,"endTime":95.875,"body":"I'm, uh, I'm 50."},{"startTime":96.794,"endTime":97.634,"body":"We can start there."},{"startTime":97.634,"endTime":99.524,"body":"I reckon I'm about"},{"startTime":97.634,"endTime":99.524,"body":"halfway through my life."},{"startTime":100.125,"endTime":101.115,"body":"You know, I don't know."},{"startTime":101.145,"endTime":103.125,"body":"I mean, we never know when"},{"startTime":101.145,"endTime":103.125,"body":"we're gonna die, right?"},{"startTime":103.125,"endTime":105.854,"body":"But I'm just gonna, I'm gonna"},{"startTime":103.125,"endTime":105.854,"body":"presume that I live to about a"},{"startTime":105.854,"endTime":109.005,"body":"hundred . So I'm halfway through."},{"startTime":109.065,"endTime":112.214,"body":"Um, I'm happily partnered."},{"startTime":112.304,"endTime":117.464,"body":"Um, my, my partner as a, a wonderful"},{"startTime":112.304,"endTime":117.464,"body":"human being, uh, gorgeous woman,"},{"startTime":117.464,"endTime":119.425,"body":"and we're very lucky in relat."},{"startTime":120.45,"endTime":123.69,"body":"Yeah, we both came to the relationship"},{"startTime":120.45,"endTime":123.69,"body":"with, with two of our own children."},{"startTime":123.69,"endTime":125.28,"body":"So I've got two teenage boys."},{"startTime":125.28,"endTime":127.68,"body":"My boys have just turned 18 and 16."},{"startTime":128.4,"endTime":133.26,"body":"Um, my partner has a, a teenage girl"},{"startTime":128.4,"endTime":133.26,"body":"at 15 and a younger boy who's 12."},{"startTime":133.92,"endTime":135.51,"body":"So we have the Brady Bunch."},{"startTime":136.08,"endTime":138.27,"body":"Um, and again, the kids have all been."},{"startTime":138.535,"endTime":142.945,"body":"Around each other long enough to just"},{"startTime":138.535,"endTime":142.945,"body":"relax into it and just, and, um, well"},{"startTime":142.945,"endTime":146.635,"body":"they, they're actually very happy"},{"startTime":142.945,"endTime":146.635,"body":"to see their mother and, and my boys"},{"startTime":146.635,"endTime":151.704,"body":"to see their father, um, in such a"},{"startTime":146.635,"endTime":151.704,"body":"beautiful, conscious, kind relationship."},{"startTime":152.745,"endTime":158.085,"body":"You know, we both came from marriages"},{"startTime":152.745,"endTime":158.085,"body":"that had become quite, toxic is a"},{"startTime":158.085,"endTime":161.715,"body":"strong word, but, um, but to some"},{"startTime":158.085,"endTime":161.715,"body":"degree toxic and, and certainly"},{"startTime":161.715,"endTime":163.575,"body":"not being very nice to each other."},{"startTime":163.965,"endTime":166.635,"body":"And so for our children, growing"},{"startTime":163.965,"endTime":166.635,"body":"up watching that, I was always"},{"startTime":166.635,"endTime":170.265,"body":"very conscious, very aware that"},{"startTime":166.635,"endTime":170.265,"body":"that was role modeling for them"},{"startTime":170.265,"endTime":171.555,"body":"and I didn't want them to see that."},{"startTime":172.095,"endTime":173.265,"body":"Anyway, that's a long story."},{"startTime":173.269,"endTime":177.345,"body":"But, um, but now over the last six or"},{"startTime":173.269,"endTime":177.345,"body":"seven years, they've been able to see"},{"startTime":177.345,"endTime":178.845,"body":"what a really beautiful relationship."},{"startTime":179.64,"endTime":180.99,"body":"Um, so that's me personally."},{"startTime":181.35,"endTime":185.01,"body":"Um, son, brother, community member."},{"startTime":185.609,"endTime":188.25,"body":"I sit in men's circle with"},{"startTime":185.609,"endTime":188.25,"body":"a group of men down here."},{"startTime":188.52,"endTime":192.48,"body":"We sit around a fire once a month, have"},{"startTime":188.52,"endTime":192.48,"body":"done that for about 12 years and talk"},{"startTime":192.48,"endTime":197.55,"body":"about meaningful themes and just hear"},{"startTime":192.48,"endTime":197.55,"body":"each other, just listen and to each other."},{"startTime":198.42,"endTime":199.98,"body":"So, yeah, I, I, I feel."},{"startTime":200.76,"endTime":202.709,"body":"Well placed in a really lovely community."},{"startTime":202.98,"endTime":207.63,"body":"My work, my mission is to, is"},{"startTime":202.98,"endTime":207.63,"body":"to help people create more ease"},{"startTime":207.63,"endTime":209.34,"body":"and more flow in their lives."},{"startTime":209.7,"endTime":213.57,"body":"You know, the wording of, of my"},{"startTime":209.7,"endTime":213.57,"body":"purpose for myself when I wake up in"},{"startTime":213.57,"endTime":217.29,"body":"the morning and say, Right, let's go,"},{"startTime":213.57,"endTime":217.29,"body":"because I'm, I'm very motivated, but"},{"startTime":217.295,"endTime":222.959,"body":"my mission is to help people create"},{"startTime":217.295,"endTime":222.959,"body":"habitual perspectives and practices."},{"startTime":223.769,"endTime":227.489,"body":"That bring them more ease in their"},{"startTime":223.769,"endTime":227.489,"body":"life, more flow, more success,"},{"startTime":227.97,"endTime":230.64,"body":"success in averted commerce,"},{"startTime":227.97,"endTime":230.64,"body":"whatever that is for people."},{"startTime":231.209,"endTime":234.149,"body":"And so, you know, my bread and butter"},{"startTime":231.209,"endTime":234.149,"body":"work, I'm, I'm a leadership coach."},{"startTime":234.179,"endTime":237.48,"body":"I have senior leader clients across"},{"startTime":234.179,"endTime":237.48,"body":"government departments here in"},{"startTime":237.48,"endTime":241.529,"body":"Australia and, and in the private sector"},{"startTime":237.48,"endTime":241.529,"body":"also, mainly in the health sector."},{"startTime":241.529,"endTime":243.12,"body":"I work with a lot of health practitioners."},{"startTime":243.63,"endTime":246.839,"body":"And then also in the not-for-profit"},{"startTime":243.63,"endTime":246.839,"body":"sector, there's a couple of"},{"startTime":246.839,"endTime":250.98,"body":"clients who are quite large"},{"startTime":246.839,"endTime":250.98,"body":"disability inclusion organizations."},{"startTime":251.98,"endTime":255.01,"body":"So I work with really beautiful"},{"startTime":251.98,"endTime":255.01,"body":"people doing good work and just"},{"startTime":255.01,"endTime":256.42,"body":"help them become better leaders."},{"startTime":256.99,"endTime":260.05,"body":"And my team is, we're reaching"},{"startTime":256.99,"endTime":260.05,"body":"out into the states at the moment."},{"startTime":260.05,"endTime":263.08,"body":"My, I published a book recently,"},{"startTime":260.05,"endTime":263.08,"body":"which I'm sure we'll talk about and"},{"startTime":263.29,"endTime":267.16,"body":"you know, so my team are reaching"},{"startTime":263.29,"endTime":267.16,"body":"out into leaders in the states."},{"startTime":267.84,"endTime":272.37,"body":"And we're, we're building an online"},{"startTime":267.84,"endTime":272.37,"body":"leadership, um, communication program,"},{"startTime":272.37,"endTime":273.54,"body":"which I'm really excited about."},{"startTime":273.545,"endTime":275.49,"body":"That's getting launched"},{"startTime":273.545,"endTime":275.49,"body":"in about six weeks."},{"startTime":276.03,"endTime":279.45,"body":"And I've got an online resilience course,"},{"startTime":276.03,"endTime":279.45,"body":"which was built just before Covid."},{"startTime":280.02,"endTime":280.26,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":280.26,"endTime":285.99,"body":"So working in the space of more conscious"},{"startTime":280.26,"endTime":285.99,"body":"leadership, helping people build healthier"},{"startTime":286.05,"endTime":289.77,"body":"workplace cultures, so, so people"},{"startTime":286.05,"endTime":289.77,"body":"can get along with each other better,"},{"startTime":289.77,"endTime":291.33,"body":"communicate better, and then be more."},{"startTime":292.35,"endTime":293.49,"body":"Effective in the work that they're doing."},{"startTime":293.91,"endTime":295.14,"body":"So that's me in a nutshell, man."},{"startTime":295.14,"endTime":296.82,"body":"I just, What do I love?"},{"startTime":296.82,"endTime":297.72,"body":"I love the outdoors."},{"startTime":297.72,"endTime":299.1,"body":"Massive outdoors fan."},{"startTime":299.49,"endTime":301.92,"body":"Um, you know, surfing, hiking, camping."},{"startTime":302.28,"endTime":303.06,"body":"I love music."},{"startTime":303.09,"endTime":306.09,"body":"I've been writing songs, playing"},{"startTime":303.09,"endTime":306.09,"body":"the piano and the guitar forever."},{"startTime":306.66,"endTime":307.92,"body":"Yeah, that's about it."},{"startTime":308.305,"endTime":308.755,"body":"Beautiful."},{"startTime":309.055,"endTime":310.075,"body":"Thank you for sharing that."},{"startTime":310.115,"endTime":313.795,"body":"And you know, I, there's a lot of topics"},{"startTime":310.115,"endTime":313.795,"body":"that you already mentioned that I want"},{"startTime":313.795,"endTime":316.825,"body":"to go and explore a little bit more."},{"startTime":316.855,"endTime":321.055,"body":"But before we get into that, how"},{"startTime":316.855,"endTime":321.055,"body":"did you get into all of this?"},{"startTime":321.055,"endTime":328.045,"body":"How was your journey to get into all of"},{"startTime":321.055,"endTime":328.045,"body":"this different avenues and perspectives?"},{"startTime":328.855,"endTime":329.635,"body":"Yeah, sure."},{"startTime":330.895,"endTime":332.995,"body":"I mean, before it was before I was."},{"startTime":334.02,"endTime":338.07,"body":"Formally applying myself to"},{"startTime":334.02,"endTime":338.07,"body":"understanding human behavior and."},{"startTime":339.15,"endTime":343.23,"body":"And, um, and working in this space"},{"startTime":339.15,"endTime":343.23,"body":"throughout my life, I always had a"},{"startTime":343.23,"endTime":345.15,"body":"burning curiosity about humanity."},{"startTime":346.02,"endTime":349.62,"body":"Uh, especially humans, people"},{"startTime":346.02,"endTime":349.62,"body":"that were really different to me."},{"startTime":350.43,"endTime":351.06,"body":"So I travel."},{"startTime":351.065,"endTime":354.96,"body":"I spent most of my late teens and right"},{"startTime":351.065,"endTime":354.96,"body":"through my twenties and early thirties."},{"startTime":355.28,"endTime":357.69,"body":"Pretty addicted to travel, to be honest."},{"startTime":357.69,"endTime":360.81,"body":"I just wanted to keep traveling"},{"startTime":357.69,"endTime":360.81,"body":"and, uh, but I wasn't interested"},{"startTime":360.81,"endTime":363.36,"body":"in traveling to cultures that"},{"startTime":360.81,"endTime":363.36,"body":"were similar to where I grew up."},{"startTime":363.36,"endTime":366.75,"body":"I was really fascinated about traveling"},{"startTime":363.36,"endTime":366.75,"body":"to cultures that were really different to."},{"startTime":367.37,"endTime":367.64,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":368.09,"endTime":372.56,"body":"And at the time I felt like I was,"},{"startTime":368.09,"endTime":372.56,"body":"it was just my adventurous spirit."},{"startTime":373.13,"endTime":378.2,"body":"But I look back now and, and I understand"},{"startTime":373.13,"endTime":378.2,"body":"now that I was actually driven for"},{"startTime":378.2,"endTime":381.65,"body":"this cross cultural communication,"},{"startTime":378.2,"endTime":381.65,"body":"this cross cultural connection."},{"startTime":382.15,"endTime":386.08,"body":"You know, I wanted to find out what"},{"startTime":382.15,"endTime":386.08,"body":"I had in common with peoples who,"},{"startTime":386.53,"endTime":389.71,"body":"you know, grew up in a completely"},{"startTime":386.53,"endTime":389.71,"body":"different geographical place on the"},{"startTime":389.71,"endTime":393.849,"body":"planet to me, and had a different"},{"startTime":389.71,"endTime":393.849,"body":"culture and a different set of beliefs."},{"startTime":394.299,"endTime":395.5,"body":"They looked different to me."},{"startTime":395.505,"endTime":398.95,"body":"The food they ate was different,"},{"startTime":395.505,"endTime":398.95,"body":"and I was really curious to"},{"startTime":398.955,"endTime":400.96,"body":"sit with them and connect."},{"startTime":402.27,"endTime":405.27,"body":"Um, so that, that was the"},{"startTime":402.27,"endTime":405.27,"body":"drive behind all of my travel."},{"startTime":405.27,"endTime":407.94,"body":"So there's always been a"},{"startTime":405.27,"endTime":407.94,"body":"curiosity in, in humanity."},{"startTime":407.94,"endTime":409.89,"body":"I've always been quite"},{"startTime":407.94,"endTime":409.89,"body":"introspective as well."},{"startTime":410.43,"endTime":415.74,"body":"I've, you know, as a, as a"},{"startTime":410.43,"endTime":415.74,"body":"writer originally writing songs"},{"startTime":415.74,"endTime":417.42,"body":"and poetry and then now books."},{"startTime":417.57,"endTime":421.74,"body":"I was always quite introspective,"},{"startTime":417.57,"endTime":421.74,"body":"you know, through my twenties."},{"startTime":422.49,"endTime":424.109,"body":"I smoked a lot of hash, man."},{"startTime":424.109,"endTime":428.82,"body":"I smoked a lot of weed and, and, and"},{"startTime":424.109,"endTime":428.82,"body":"also, um, it did a lot of exploration"},{"startTime":428.82,"endTime":432.45,"body":"with psychedelics as well, because I"},{"startTime":428.82,"endTime":432.45,"body":"was curious into the nature of the mind."},{"startTime":432.51,"endTime":433.919,"body":"This was when I was in my twenties."},{"startTime":434.64,"endTime":438.69,"body":"Um, I explored that as much as I"},{"startTime":434.64,"endTime":438.69,"body":"wanted to then, and I haven't felt the"},{"startTime":438.69,"endTime":441.33,"body":"need to, since I don't smoke anymore."},{"startTime":441.84,"endTime":446.4,"body":"Um, I don't do any, any drugs anymore"},{"startTime":441.84,"endTime":446.4,"body":"because I've, I've kind of understood"},{"startTime":446.4,"endTime":447.87,"body":"what I could understand from that."},{"startTime":448.26,"endTime":451.56,"body":"I'm now more interested in the mind and."},{"startTime":452.355,"endTime":455.655,"body":"The, you know, and the nature"},{"startTime":452.355,"endTime":455.655,"body":"of the mind through meditation."},{"startTime":455.895,"endTime":456.135,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":456.645,"endTime":459.255,"body":"Um, so that's what I've been"},{"startTime":456.645,"endTime":459.255,"body":"enjoying for quite a long time"},{"startTime":459.255,"endTime":461.355,"body":"now, is a practice of meditation."},{"startTime":462.42,"endTime":462.63,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":462.63,"endTime":464.16,"body":"So how did I get to what I was doing?"},{"startTime":464.16,"endTime":467.94,"body":"I, when I became a father, I, I'd"},{"startTime":464.16,"endTime":467.94,"body":"been, um, just kind of bumming"},{"startTime":467.94,"endTime":469.38,"body":"around the world for a long time."},{"startTime":469.38,"endTime":471.93,"body":"I'd never had a career, I'd"},{"startTime":469.38,"endTime":471.93,"body":"never had any qualifications."},{"startTime":472.5,"endTime":477.99,"body":"I've done everything from fire dancer to"},{"startTime":472.5,"endTime":477.99,"body":"traditional tattooists to kindergarten"},{"startTime":477.99,"endTime":483.21,"body":"teacher in Taiwan to volunteer in"},{"startTime":477.99,"endTime":483.21,"body":"Bangladesh to, um, laborer in London."},{"startTime":483.3,"endTime":484.8,"body":"Um, I've been a punk."},{"startTime":485.02,"endTime":489.43,"body":"You know, squatting in abandoned"},{"startTime":485.02,"endTime":489.43,"body":"buildings and, um, I've, I've lived a"},{"startTime":489.43,"endTime":492.909,"body":"very colorful life and then when kids"},{"startTime":489.43,"endTime":492.909,"body":"came along, I needed to get a job."},{"startTime":492.909,"endTime":496.84,"body":"So I got a job working for an"},{"startTime":492.909,"endTime":496.84,"body":"international travel company cuz I'd been"},{"startTime":496.84,"endTime":499.09,"body":"traveling, Ended up in senior leadership."},{"startTime":500.115,"endTime":503.205,"body":"And then when I was in senior"},{"startTime":500.115,"endTime":503.205,"body":"leadership, we, the, the company"},{"startTime":503.205,"endTime":506.805,"body":"I worked for were quite good at"},{"startTime":503.205,"endTime":506.805,"body":"spending money on, on development,"},{"startTime":507.165,"endTime":508.545,"body":"professional personal development."},{"startTime":508.935,"endTime":512.865,"body":"So we had a coach come in from"},{"startTime":508.935,"endTime":512.865,"body":"the outside and he is a human"},{"startTime":512.895,"endTime":514.995,"body":"behavioralist and a, and a profiler."},{"startTime":515.355,"endTime":517.125,"body":"Very, very good at what he did."},{"startTime":517.485,"endTime":521.265,"body":"And he came into the senior leadership"},{"startTime":517.485,"endTime":521.265,"body":"retreat one time and it was like magic."},{"startTime":521.505,"endTime":525.135,"body":"That was just, you know, he,"},{"startTime":521.505,"endTime":525.135,"body":"he understood us behavior."},{"startTime":525.875,"endTime":528.905,"body":"Really well with just when he just met us."},{"startTime":529.205,"endTime":530.465,"body":"And to me it was like magic."},{"startTime":530.465,"endTime":532.565,"body":"I'm like, Man, how do you know me so well?"},{"startTime":532.565,"endTime":535.625,"body":"You've just been listening to me"},{"startTime":532.565,"endTime":535.625,"body":"talk for half an hour and you've"},{"startTime":535.625,"endTime":537.995,"body":"got me completely, you know?"},{"startTime":537.995,"endTime":538.655,"body":"Understood."},{"startTime":539.435,"endTime":541.895,"body":"Um, so I was fascinated in that"},{"startTime":539.435,"endTime":541.895,"body":"and I asked him what he did and he"},{"startTime":541.895,"endTime":545.285,"body":"told me that he'd studied NLP and"},{"startTime":541.895,"endTime":545.285,"body":"coaching and human behavior, et"},{"startTime":545.285,"endTime":547.385,"body":"cetera, and I decided I wanted to do."},{"startTime":548.834,"endTime":554.055,"body":"Then comes the midlife crisis where"},{"startTime":548.834,"endTime":554.055,"body":"I lost my career, my marriage, my"},{"startTime":554.055,"endTime":556.694,"body":"house, my everything except my kids."},{"startTime":556.814,"endTime":559.114,"body":"I kept my kids 50 50."},{"startTime":559.604,"endTime":563.655,"body":"Week on, week off, but lost everything"},{"startTime":559.604,"endTime":563.655,"body":"else, but decided that that was the"},{"startTime":563.655,"endTime":565.694,"body":"time for it to be my midlife awakening."},{"startTime":566.265,"endTime":570.944,"body":"And so I, I started all over again and I"},{"startTime":566.265,"endTime":570.944,"body":"went and studied coaching and studied NLP"},{"startTime":570.949,"endTime":572.864,"body":"and human behavioral profiling, et cetera."},{"startTime":573.255,"endTime":575.025,"body":"Started my own coaching practice."},{"startTime":575.114,"endTime":578.305,"body":"This is about 10 years ago now,"},{"startTime":575.114,"endTime":578.305,"body":"and haven't looked back since."},{"startTime":579.344,"endTime":582.944,"body":"Thank you for sharing, sharing that"},{"startTime":579.344,"endTime":582.944,"body":"like, I mean, there's so, so much"},{"startTime":582.944,"endTime":585.734,"body":"in there and you know, I can see."},{"startTime":586.56,"endTime":592.35,"body":"Because I have, when I was younger, that"},{"startTime":586.56,"endTime":592.35,"body":"as well that, I don't know if it's called"},{"startTime":592.35,"endTime":596.79,"body":"an H or or what, but to explore the world,"},{"startTime":592.35,"endTime":596.79,"body":"to explore different people, to explore"},{"startTime":596.795,"endTime":601.829,"body":"different cultures, living in different"},{"startTime":596.795,"endTime":601.829,"body":"places and discovering more of myself."},{"startTime":602.25,"endTime":602.459,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":602.48,"endTime":605.31,"body":"And, and that has been my path as well."},{"startTime":605.37,"endTime":607.079,"body":"And in a sense, I'm, I."},{"startTime":607.545,"endTime":612.555,"body":"Glad that I found out of this"},{"startTime":607.545,"endTime":612.555,"body":"when I was like quite young."},{"startTime":612.855,"endTime":617.025,"body":"So yeah, it's not the same, but I"},{"startTime":612.855,"endTime":617.025,"body":"just love something that you just"},{"startTime":617.03,"endTime":620.595,"body":"mentioned that like in the last"},{"startTime":617.03,"endTime":620.595,"body":"part that was really interesting."},{"startTime":620.985,"endTime":627.105,"body":"Um, you said like the midlife crisis"},{"startTime":620.985,"endTime":627.105,"body":"and then you said midlife awakening."},{"startTime":628.815,"endTime":632.205,"body":"Yeah, and I thought the same experience."},{"startTime":634.125,"endTime":636.255,"body":"Very different perspective."},{"startTime":636.885,"endTime":637.275,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":637.875,"endTime":638.235,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":638.655,"endTime":642.704,"body":"I, I, um, I never thought"},{"startTime":638.655,"endTime":642.704,"body":"of it as a midlife crisis."},{"startTime":642.704,"endTime":645.165,"body":"I used that term because"},{"startTime":642.704,"endTime":645.165,"body":"that's what people know."},{"startTime":645.324,"endTime":645.675,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":646.125,"endTime":648.224,"body":"And I used the inverted s midlife crisis."},{"startTime":648.555,"endTime":650.865,"body":"Uh, for me it was always"},{"startTime":648.555,"endTime":650.865,"body":"a midlife opportunity."},{"startTime":650.87,"endTime":651.155,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":652.125,"endTime":657.675,"body":"Um, and, and it was also a midlife"},{"startTime":652.125,"endTime":657.675,"body":"awakening because I had a, a."},{"startTime":658.8,"endTime":663.54,"body":"Remarkable experience in a North American"},{"startTime":658.8,"endTime":663.54,"body":"Indian sweat lodge on aboriginal land"},{"startTime":663.54,"endTime":666.09,"body":"here in Australia with a, a group of men."},{"startTime":666.09,"endTime":667.53,"body":"And we were doing a, a sweat."},{"startTime":667.77,"endTime":670.62,"body":"I don't know if your listeners know"},{"startTime":667.77,"endTime":670.62,"body":"what that is, but I'm sure you do."},{"startTime":671.31,"endTime":674.84,"body":"And uh, and I had an out"},{"startTime":671.31,"endTime":674.84,"body":"of body experience and."},{"startTime":676.015,"endTime":677.895,"body":"It went back to being five years old."},{"startTime":678.285,"endTime":681.795,"body":"Anyway, long story short this night,"},{"startTime":678.285,"endTime":681.795,"body":"I woke up the next morning after a,"},{"startTime":681.795,"endTime":688.935,"body":"a very intense healing dream, and I"},{"startTime":681.795,"endTime":688.935,"body":"realized, and at the time I was 41,"},{"startTime":689.474,"endTime":691.635,"body":"I think it was about 41, maybe 40."},{"startTime":693.015,"endTime":697.844,"body":"And at the time I realized that I'd"},{"startTime":693.015,"endTime":697.844,"body":"been harboring this subconscious"},{"startTime":697.844,"endTime":700.785,"body":"belief that I wasn't enough."},{"startTime":701.265,"endTime":701.474,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":702.015,"endTime":703.005,"body":"And I wasn't good enough."},{"startTime":704.354,"endTime":709.785,"body":"I wasn't smart enough or"},{"startTime":704.354,"endTime":709.785,"body":"deserving enough, or man enough"},{"startTime":709.785,"endTime":715.395,"body":"or insert here, whatever, all the"},{"startTime":709.785,"endTime":715.395,"body":"insecurities that we tend to foster."},{"startTime":715.785,"endTime":718.275,"body":"And I'd had this belief in the"},{"startTime":715.785,"endTime":718.275,"body":"background that I wasn't enough."},{"startTime":718.28,"endTime":721.694,"body":"And so because of that, I had"},{"startTime":718.28,"endTime":721.694,"body":"created the life that I'd created for"},{"startTime":721.724,"endTime":723.375,"body":"myself with very unhappy marriage."},{"startTime":723.915,"endTime":727.005,"body":"Um, I was pretending to the"},{"startTime":723.915,"endTime":727.005,"body":"outside world to be happy."},{"startTime":728.265,"endTime":731.025,"body":"I had a great job and I had a"},{"startTime":728.265,"endTime":731.025,"body":"beautiful wife and I had two"},{"startTime":731.025,"endTime":734.715,"body":"children, and, and we built a house"},{"startTime":731.025,"endTime":734.715,"body":"and we lived in a beautiful town."},{"startTime":734.715,"endTime":741.225,"body":"And so to the outside world, it was like"},{"startTime":734.715,"endTime":741.225,"body":"a social media profile, , you know, But,"},{"startTime":741.375,"endTime":747.705,"body":"but on the inside I was deeply, deeply"},{"startTime":741.375,"endTime":747.705,"body":"sad and tortured and, um, dysfunctional."},{"startTime":748.785,"endTime":752.475,"body":"Uh, and so when I realized this,"},{"startTime":748.785,"endTime":752.475,"body":"I was, I was really curious as"},{"startTime":752.475,"endTime":754.125,"body":"to, you know, can I change that?"},{"startTime":754.365,"endTime":756.555,"body":"Is it possible to change the wiring?"},{"startTime":757.245,"endTime":761.175,"body":"And I found out obviously that it is"},{"startTime":757.245,"endTime":761.175,"body":"thanks to the understandings through"},{"startTime":761.175,"endTime":764.715,"body":"neuroscience, we've got a Western"},{"startTime":761.175,"endTime":764.715,"body":"perspective now on, on something that"},{"startTime":764.715,"endTime":770.115,"body":"the Great Eastern traditional wise ways"},{"startTime":764.715,"endTime":770.115,"body":"of thinking have known for a long time."},{"startTime":770.535,"endTime":773.385,"body":"And so I went to work on"},{"startTime":770.535,"endTime":773.385,"body":"myself and I very literally and"},{"startTime":773.385,"endTime":776.145,"body":"laboriously with a lot of tenacity."},{"startTime":776.775,"endTime":780.495,"body":"Um, I was determined and it"},{"startTime":776.775,"endTime":780.495,"body":"took me about a year of, of high"},{"startTime":780.495,"endTime":782.235,"body":"repetition and I just rewired."},{"startTime":783.36,"endTime":786.709,"body":"So I brainwashed myself into"},{"startTime":783.36,"endTime":786.709,"body":"believing that I am good enough."},{"startTime":788.7,"endTime":793.59,"body":"I've got everything I need to be the"},{"startTime":788.7,"endTime":793.59,"body":"best version of me and that I'm okay."},{"startTime":793.62,"endTime":798.36,"body":"So I did this self reparation"},{"startTime":793.62,"endTime":798.36,"body":"work, which I still do now."},{"startTime":798.36,"endTime":802.89,"body":"It's become habitual, but I, I really"},{"startTime":798.36,"endTime":802.89,"body":"had to do this self love, self acceptance"},{"startTime":803.28,"endTime":807.87,"body":"piece of work so that I could be okay"},{"startTime":803.28,"endTime":807.87,"body":"with myself so that I could get out of"},{"startTime":807.87,"endTime":811.05,"body":"my own way and go and serve , right?"},{"startTime":811.56,"endTime":814.92,"body":"It's easier to, to be of service"},{"startTime":811.56,"endTime":814.92,"body":"if you're, if you're not caught"},{"startTime":814.92,"endTime":816.21,"body":"up on all your own stuff."},{"startTime":817.005,"endTime":821.954,"body":"So I've created a, a, a daily habitual"},{"startTime":817.005,"endTime":821.954,"body":"way of being really kind to myself"},{"startTime":821.959,"endTime":826.005,"body":"and, uh, very accepting and, and,"},{"startTime":821.959,"endTime":826.005,"body":"and also still passionate to go"},{"startTime":826.005,"endTime":827.114,"body":"and make a difference in the world."},{"startTime":828.104,"endTime":828.405,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":828.645,"endTime":831.635,"body":"And you know, there's something"},{"startTime":828.645,"endTime":831.635,"body":"that, that I found is so interesting."},{"startTime":832.62,"endTime":837.569,"body":"We live in a society and mostly I'm not,"},{"startTime":832.62,"endTime":837.569,"body":"I'm generalizing a little bit, which"},{"startTime":837.569,"endTime":844.349,"body":"I don't like, but that we haven't done"},{"startTime":837.569,"endTime":844.349,"body":"a lot of our inner work, a lot of that"},{"startTime":845.219,"endTime":851.67,"body":"work of integrating and healing and as"},{"startTime":845.219,"endTime":851.67,"body":"you said with that word, reparations."},{"startTime":851.77,"endTime":860.31,"body":"Like we, we grew up in a society that for"},{"startTime":851.77,"endTime":860.31,"body":"most people, our childhoods gave us a lot."},{"startTime":861.105,"endTime":864.855,"body":"Different experience that we"},{"startTime":861.105,"endTime":864.855,"body":"weren't able to actually process."},{"startTime":865.455,"endTime":870.015,"body":"Whether they were big traumatic"},{"startTime":865.455,"endTime":870.015,"body":"experiences or small experiences"},{"startTime":870.015,"endTime":872.955,"body":"that were still traumas in our body."},{"startTime":873.465,"endTime":873.795,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":873.8,"endTime":879.795,"body":"And, and how can we show up later on"},{"startTime":873.8,"endTime":879.795,"body":"as adults for ourselves and then for"},{"startTime":879.795,"endTime":882.015,"body":"others if we haven't done that work?"},{"startTime":882.945,"endTime":884.835,"body":"And then how can we."},{"startTime":885.339,"endTime":890.469,"body":"Communicate our needs, our wants,"},{"startTime":885.339,"endTime":890.469,"body":"how we want to live our boundaries"},{"startTime":890.68,"endTime":892.15,"body":"if we don't understand them."},{"startTime":892.689,"endTime":895.93,"body":"Yeah, and I think that that is so"},{"startTime":892.689,"endTime":895.93,"body":"important and, and I want to explore"},{"startTime":895.935,"endTime":901.12,"body":"that with you in terms of, you know, I,"},{"startTime":895.935,"endTime":901.12,"body":"I believe that you were sharing as well"},{"startTime":901.125,"endTime":903.13,"body":"in terms of like conscious leadership."},{"startTime":903.189,"endTime":905.8,"body":"I believe conscious leadership"},{"startTime":903.189,"endTime":905.8,"body":"as well in our lives."},{"startTime":906.68,"endTime":911.27,"body":"People, not only for someone that is in"},{"startTime":906.68,"endTime":911.27,"body":"a, let's call it leadership position."},{"startTime":911.3,"endTime":911.81,"body":"Yeah, Yeah."},{"startTime":911.87,"endTime":918.74,"body":"So can, can you share a little bit more"},{"startTime":911.87,"endTime":918.74,"body":"around the importance of that inner work"},{"startTime":918.89,"endTime":921.38,"body":"for being able to communicate consciously?"},{"startTime":922.01,"endTime":923.09,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"startTime":923.99,"endTime":925.07,"body":"And it's interesting, isn't it?"},{"startTime":925.07,"endTime":932.73,"body":"You know, the idea of, um, leading for me,"},{"startTime":925.07,"endTime":932.73,"body":"you know, in terms of self leadership, And"},{"startTime":932.73,"endTime":938.88,"body":"being a conscious leader of self leading"},{"startTime":932.73,"endTime":938.88,"body":"means that we're going somewhere, right?"},{"startTime":939.24,"endTime":943.35,"body":"And so if we're not physically"},{"startTime":939.24,"endTime":943.35,"body":"moving location, where are we going?"},{"startTime":943.355,"endTime":945.75,"body":"Well, we're going into the ex."},{"startTime":945.75,"endTime":947.7,"body":"We're expanding into our potential."},{"startTime":948.57,"endTime":952.71,"body":"We're, we're, we're going to"},{"startTime":948.57,"endTime":952.71,"body":"the next version of ourselves."},{"startTime":953.714,"endTime":955.515,"body":"With this self work."},{"startTime":956.175,"endTime":961.425,"body":"So this healing process is the"},{"startTime":956.175,"endTime":961.425,"body":"journey for us to continually keep"},{"startTime":961.725,"endTime":968.954,"body":"becoming that next iteration of"},{"startTime":961.725,"endTime":968.954,"body":"self and hopefully this journey, the"},{"startTime":968.954,"endTime":971.145,"body":"relationship with self becomes easier."},{"startTime":972.45,"endTime":973.14,"body":"Not harder."},{"startTime":974.25,"endTime":978.96,"body":", you know, the more, the more self-love,"},{"startTime":974.25,"endTime":978.96,"body":"self-acceptance, self-compassion,"},{"startTime":978.96,"endTime":983.88,"body":"self reparation work we do, then"},{"startTime":978.96,"endTime":983.88,"body":"relationship with self becomes much"},{"startTime":983.97,"endTime":987.06,"body":"easier because you're not still."},{"startTime":987.93,"endTime":993.689,"body":"Holding onto or attached to the"},{"startTime":987.93,"endTime":993.689,"body":"past, which is yourself, right?"},{"startTime":994.35,"endTime":997.23,"body":"Your relationship with the past is"},{"startTime":994.35,"endTime":997.23,"body":"really your relationship with self."},{"startTime":997.98,"endTime":1004.579,"body":"And so as we do this work and the"},{"startTime":997.98,"endTime":1004.579,"body":"mind becomes, when I say it becomes"},{"startTime":1004.584,"endTime":1009.439,"body":"more quiet, I don't mean thoughts"},{"startTime":1004.584,"endTime":1009.439,"body":"stop near under, always firing."},{"startTime":1009.56,"endTime":1012.829,"body":"There's always the little"},{"startTime":1009.56,"endTime":1012.829,"body":"bubbling book of thoughts."},{"startTime":1013.43,"endTime":1016.28,"body":"I just mean that you're"},{"startTime":1013.43,"endTime":1016.28,"body":"less identified with them."},{"startTime":1017.24,"endTime":1022.88,"body":"So it's less of a fight, you know,"},{"startTime":1017.24,"endTime":1022.88,"body":"there's less of a, you're not"},{"startTime":1023.0,"endTime":1027.17,"body":"caught or stuck in this loop of"},{"startTime":1023.0,"endTime":1027.17,"body":"identification with thought emotion."},{"startTime":1028.52,"endTime":1032.42,"body":"You can notice it, but"},{"startTime":1028.52,"endTime":1032.42,"body":"just less affected by it."},{"startTime":1032.425,"endTime":1037.01,"body":"So, so for me, that feels like"},{"startTime":1032.425,"endTime":1037.01,"body":"there's less static, there's"},{"startTime":1037.01,"endTime":1039.47,"body":"less noise between me and, and."},{"startTime":1041.119,"endTime":1045.5,"body":"So if I'm perceiving you,"},{"startTime":1041.119,"endTime":1045.5,"body":"so I, I see you, I hear you."},{"startTime":1045.5,"endTime":1049.129,"body":"I, you know, if we're in the same room,"},{"startTime":1045.5,"endTime":1049.129,"body":"I could hold your hand and touch you."},{"startTime":1049.699,"endTime":1054.439,"body":"I'm perceiving you if I've got"},{"startTime":1049.699,"endTime":1054.439,"body":"a lot of noise going on in here,"},{"startTime":1054.439,"endTime":1057.919,"body":"A lot of lenses, a lot of bias,"},{"startTime":1054.439,"endTime":1057.919,"body":"a lot of belief, a lot of stuff."},{"startTime":1058.879,"endTime":1061.429,"body":"I'm gonna get a very"},{"startTime":1058.879,"endTime":1061.429,"body":"distorted version of you."},{"startTime":1062.989,"endTime":1066.56,"body":"Because my perception of you in my"},{"startTime":1062.989,"endTime":1066.56,"body":"mind has gone through all my lenses and"},{"startTime":1066.56,"endTime":1068.84,"body":"biases and beliefs and all my hangups."},{"startTime":1070.79,"endTime":1077.06,"body":"Conversely, if I'm reasonably quiet"},{"startTime":1070.79,"endTime":1077.06,"body":"in my mind, then when I'm sitting"},{"startTime":1077.06,"endTime":1079.01,"body":"with you, I'm seeing you more clearly."},{"startTime":1080.84,"endTime":1083.06,"body":"You know, I can really seek to understand."},{"startTime":1084.395,"endTime":1084.965,"body":"More."},{"startTime":1085.625,"endTime":1086.435,"body":"Not completely."},{"startTime":1086.435,"endTime":1088.504,"body":"I can't completely see"},{"startTime":1086.435,"endTime":1088.504,"body":"the pure version of you."},{"startTime":1088.504,"endTime":1093.245,"body":"I can only perceive you in my mind, , but,"},{"startTime":1088.504,"endTime":1093.245,"body":"but we can certainly see each other"},{"startTime":1093.245,"endTime":1097.775,"body":"more clearly when we do this work on"},{"startTime":1093.245,"endTime":1097.775,"body":"ourselves, which means that, you know,"},{"startTime":1097.78,"endTime":1103.504,"body":"there's more compassion for others then"},{"startTime":1097.78,"endTime":1103.504,"body":"and there's more, uh, less judgment."},{"startTime":1105.065,"endTime":1109.475,"body":"We don't need to shout at each"},{"startTime":1105.065,"endTime":1109.475,"body":"other, you know, we can listen."},{"startTime":1110.36,"endTime":1110.479,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1110.51,"endTime":1112.34,"body":"Doesn't mean that we always need to agree."},{"startTime":1112.34,"endTime":1115.04,"body":"We can still disagree, but"},{"startTime":1112.34,"endTime":1115.04,"body":"we can agree beautifully with"},{"startTime":1115.04,"endTime":1118.58,"body":"respect and love, essentially."},{"startTime":1118.82,"endTime":1120.8,"body":"So it's a really beautiful practice."},{"startTime":1120.8,"endTime":1124.129,"body":"I, I guess some people would think"},{"startTime":1120.8,"endTime":1124.129,"body":"of this as a very spiritual practice."},{"startTime":1124.399,"endTime":1125.389,"body":"I, I guess it is."},{"startTime":1125.389,"endTime":1129.8,"body":"I don't, I'm not really too concerned"},{"startTime":1125.389,"endTime":1129.8,"body":"about what labels we give things."},{"startTime":1130.43,"endTime":1135.26,"body":"Um, but we do need to use language to help"},{"startTime":1130.43,"endTime":1135.26,"body":"us have a conversation, but certainly it"},{"startTime":1135.26,"endTime":1141.17,"body":"helps in conscious communication because"},{"startTime":1135.26,"endTime":1141.17,"body":"communication is a sharing, you know,"},{"startTime":1141.17,"endTime":1143.27,"body":"communication is to make something common."},{"startTime":1143.75,"endTime":1147.77,"body":"It's not a telling, uh, If I'm telling"},{"startTime":1143.75,"endTime":1147.77,"body":"you something, we're not communicating."},{"startTime":1148.82,"endTime":1150.44,"body":", , you know, it's a sharing."},{"startTime":1150.5,"endTime":1153.68,"body":"We have to come to some kind of"},{"startTime":1150.5,"endTime":1153.68,"body":"understanding That's communication."},{"startTime":1154.1,"endTime":1158.6,"body":"And so conscious communication is being"},{"startTime":1154.1,"endTime":1158.6,"body":"aware of that, being aware of the other"},{"startTime":1158.6,"endTime":1162.74,"body":"person or people being aware of the"},{"startTime":1158.6,"endTime":1162.74,"body":"reason why we having this communication,"},{"startTime":1162.98,"endTime":1165.65,"body":"being more aware, not being so stuck."},{"startTime":1166.16,"endTime":1168.71,"body":"In the identification"},{"startTime":1166.16,"endTime":1168.71,"body":"with your point of view."},{"startTime":1169.46,"endTime":1170.21,"body":"Does that make sense?"},{"startTime":1170.36,"endTime":1171.56,"body":"Yes, definitely."},{"startTime":1171.86,"endTime":1175.31,"body":"And you know, I think there is a few"},{"startTime":1171.86,"endTime":1175.31,"body":"things and, and I want to ask you if"},{"startTime":1175.31,"endTime":1181.94,"body":"you use at all these frameworks or not,"},{"startTime":1175.31,"endTime":1181.94,"body":"but I, I, I have been introduced many"},{"startTime":1181.94,"endTime":1184.79,"body":"years ago to nonviolent communication."},{"startTime":1184.795,"endTime":1185.12,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1185.2,"endTime":1189.14,"body":"and as well to understand in, in my life."},{"startTime":1189.2,"endTime":1191.39,"body":"And of course it doesn't always happen."},{"startTime":1191.68,"endTime":1197.38,"body":"But to, to create agreements or"},{"startTime":1191.68,"endTime":1197.38,"body":"to create an understanding of."},{"startTime":1197.945,"endTime":1202.955,"body":"What is happening, because"},{"startTime":1197.945,"endTime":1202.955,"body":"sometimes I do have the time to"},{"startTime":1202.955,"endTime":1208.895,"body":"sit with someone and to actually"},{"startTime":1202.955,"endTime":1208.895,"body":"be, and to connect from that place."},{"startTime":1209.285,"endTime":1213.155,"body":"And then there's other moments with some"},{"startTime":1209.285,"endTime":1213.155,"body":"people that it's like, okay, we only have."},{"startTime":1213.49,"endTime":1214.48,"body":"15 minutes."},{"startTime":1214.63,"endTime":1214.9,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1214.9,"endTime":1219.67,"body":"We need to get to like the agenda"},{"startTime":1214.9,"endTime":1219.67,"body":"items that we need to go through."},{"startTime":1219.94,"endTime":1220.27,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1220.27,"endTime":1225.01,"body":"And, and it's like, let's,"},{"startTime":1220.27,"endTime":1225.01,"body":"let's briefly create a Yeah."},{"startTime":1225.25,"endTime":1226.03,"body":"An understanding."},{"startTime":1226.09,"endTime":1226.39,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1226.39,"endTime":1227.23,"body":"Because I love that."},{"startTime":1227.32,"endTime":1227.59,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1227.62,"endTime":1231.07,"body":"I, I, when I was living,"},{"startTime":1227.62,"endTime":1231.07,"body":"uh, this remind me."},{"startTime":1231.54,"endTime":1236.04,"body":"I, I lived at Tibet Boost Retreat"},{"startTime":1231.54,"endTime":1236.04,"body":"Center for a few years, Uhhuh, and"},{"startTime":1236.04,"endTime":1241.08,"body":"at one point we used their, what we,"},{"startTime":1236.04,"endTime":1241.08,"body":"what it was called, essential speech,"},{"startTime":1241.47,"endTime":1245.4,"body":"which meant we only spoke if there"},{"startTime":1241.47,"endTime":1245.4,"body":"was something that needed to be said."},{"startTime":1245.825,"endTime":1247.475,"body":"If not, we were silent."},{"startTime":1248.105,"endTime":1248.285,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1248.29,"endTime":1251.225,"body":"And that as a practice"},{"startTime":1248.29,"endTime":1251.225,"body":"already was incredible."},{"startTime":1251.585,"endTime":1257.465,"body":"Yet at the same time, we had an"},{"startTime":1251.585,"endTime":1257.465,"body":"understanding that if I said something"},{"startTime":1257.645,"endTime":1262.805,"body":"like, if you were supposed to go and pick"},{"startTime":1257.645,"endTime":1262.805,"body":"up that table over there, and you hadn't"},{"startTime":1262.81,"endTime":1268.76,"body":"done that, I would just say to you, Hey"},{"startTime":1262.81,"endTime":1268.76,"body":"Jim, the table needs to be picked up."},{"startTime":1269.36,"endTime":1272.81,"body":"And I'm not saying that"},{"startTime":1269.36,"endTime":1272.81,"body":"from a judgmental place."},{"startTime":1272.81,"endTime":1277.34,"body":"I'm not saying that from a you"},{"startTime":1272.81,"endTime":1277.34,"body":"to, like I'm saying that as that"},{"startTime":1277.4,"endTime":1282.14,"body":"was agreed upon and that is still"},{"startTime":1277.4,"endTime":1282.14,"body":"there and you haven't done it."},{"startTime":1282.41,"endTime":1287.57,"body":"And what I noticed living there, because"},{"startTime":1282.41,"endTime":1287.57,"body":"there were people sometimes that would"},{"startTime":1287.75,"endTime":1290.0,"body":"come to live there after I was there."},{"startTime":1291.409,"endTime":1297.409,"body":"That if they hadn't fully understood"},{"startTime":1291.409,"endTime":1297.409,"body":"that agreement, they felt attacked"},{"startTime":1297.949,"endTime":1302.179,"body":"by me or by someone else saying"},{"startTime":1297.949,"endTime":1302.179,"body":"things in a direct manner."},{"startTime":1302.899,"endTime":1307.46,"body":"And I realized like, Oh, like okay,"},{"startTime":1302.899,"endTime":1307.46,"body":"anytime that someone new comes to do"},{"startTime":1307.465,"endTime":1309.8,"body":"in the community, we really need to."},{"startTime":1310.31,"endTime":1316.129,"body":"Sit down and have an understanding"},{"startTime":1310.31,"endTime":1316.129,"body":"that when we are talking, we're talking"},{"startTime":1316.129,"endTime":1321.29,"body":"from a place of love and compassion and"},{"startTime":1316.129,"endTime":1321.29,"body":"kindness, and we are doing it in that"},{"startTime":1321.29,"endTime":1324.98,"body":"sense just to be effective with our time."},{"startTime":1325.04,"endTime":1329.0,"body":"But it's not a judgment, it's not me"},{"startTime":1325.04,"endTime":1329.0,"body":"trying to tell you about for anything."},{"startTime":1329.24,"endTime":1329.69,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1329.69,"endTime":1330.71,"body":"I I love that."},{"startTime":1331.07,"endTime":1335.03,"body":"It's so much easier if, if there's an"},{"startTime":1331.07,"endTime":1335.03,"body":"understanding and and consent even."},{"startTime":1336.155,"endTime":1339.815,"body":"There's a chapter in my book where I,"},{"startTime":1336.155,"endTime":1339.815,"body":"I talk about consent in communication."},{"startTime":1339.985,"endTime":1340.335,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":1341.045,"endTime":1345.395,"body":"You know, and the obvious, the obvious"},{"startTime":1341.045,"endTime":1345.395,"body":"topic or context when we talk about"},{"startTime":1345.395,"endTime":1348.035,"body":"consent is, uh, sexual consent."},{"startTime":1349.385,"endTime":1351.365,"body":"I believe also it's functional."},{"startTime":1351.37,"endTime":1353.855,"body":"If we can have consent"},{"startTime":1351.37,"endTime":1353.855,"body":"even in communication."},{"startTime":1354.74,"endTime":1359.72,"body":"It's not always possible, but,"},{"startTime":1354.74,"endTime":1359.72,"body":"but if, if it can be, if there"},{"startTime":1359.72,"endTime":1364.22,"body":"can be consent, the communication"},{"startTime":1359.72,"endTime":1364.22,"body":"will definitely be more effective."},{"startTime":1364.97,"endTime":1368.99,"body":"You know, if, if, uh, you, like you said,"},{"startTime":1364.97,"endTime":1368.99,"body":"if there's an understanding, if you have"},{"startTime":1368.99,"endTime":1372.89,"body":"permission, if you've given each other"},{"startTime":1368.99,"endTime":1372.89,"body":"permission to speak from a place of love"},{"startTime":1372.92,"endTime":1375.44,"body":"to share that, it's certainly much easier."},{"startTime":1375.44,"endTime":1378.5,"body":"And in a very practical sense as"},{"startTime":1375.44,"endTime":1378.5,"body":"well, if you've got a team leader,"},{"startTime":1379.43,"endTime":1382.77,"body":"uh, and they, they're responsible"},{"startTime":1379.43,"endTime":1382.77,"body":"for developing the people in their."},{"startTime":1383.735,"endTime":1387.995,"body":"And so there's a certain element of"},{"startTime":1383.735,"endTime":1387.995,"body":"needing to be their coach, to coach them"},{"startTime":1387.995,"endTime":1390.125,"body":"to being the next version of themselves."},{"startTime":1391.415,"endTime":1395.165,"body":"I, I say to all of my clients,"},{"startTime":1391.415,"endTime":1395.165,"body":"if you can ha if you can get"},{"startTime":1395.17,"endTime":1396.755,"body":"consent, I call it the green light."},{"startTime":1396.755,"endTime":1399.815,"body":"If you get the green light to coach,"},{"startTime":1396.755,"endTime":1399.815,"body":"your coaching will be way more"},{"startTime":1399.815,"endTime":1402.785,"body":"effective than if you are just telling"},{"startTime":1399.815,"endTime":1402.785,"body":"someone where they need to get better."},{"startTime":1403.925,"endTime":1409.595,"body":"But if you've had a conversation to"},{"startTime":1403.925,"endTime":1409.595,"body":"frame, frame the coaching to put it into"},{"startTime":1409.595,"endTime":1413.225,"body":"perspective, into context and say, Hey,"},{"startTime":1409.595,"endTime":1413.225,"body":"part of my responsibility is to help"},{"startTime":1413.225,"endTime":1416.975,"body":"you be the best version of you to help"},{"startTime":1413.225,"endTime":1416.975,"body":"you love your job, to help you thrive."},{"startTime":1417.575,"endTime":1417.695,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1418.115,"endTime":1424.735,"body":"Is that okay with you if I, if I invest"},{"startTime":1418.115,"endTime":1424.735,"body":"some resource, some time in helping you?"},{"startTime":1425.17,"endTime":1426.07,"body":"Love your work."},{"startTime":1426.075,"endTime":1427.18,"body":"Is that okay with you?"},{"startTime":1427.18,"endTime":1429.04,"body":"And the person says, Yeah, that's great."},{"startTime":1429.73,"endTime":1430.24,"body":"There you go."},{"startTime":1430.24,"endTime":1431.14,"body":"You've got consent."},{"startTime":1431.14,"endTime":1432.25,"body":"Now you can coach."},{"startTime":1432.82,"endTime":1437.32,"body":"And you know, even as a father with my"},{"startTime":1432.82,"endTime":1437.32,"body":"children, I can't always get consent"},{"startTime":1437.325,"endTime":1440.11,"body":"to communicate with them, but I try."},{"startTime":1440.925,"endTime":1441.135,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1441.435,"endTime":1445.185,"body":"You know, so if there's a time when,"},{"startTime":1441.435,"endTime":1445.185,"body":"when one of your teenagers has done"},{"startTime":1445.185,"endTime":1448.274,"body":"something and there needs to be a"},{"startTime":1445.185,"endTime":1448.274,"body":"conversation around that, because you"},{"startTime":1448.274,"endTime":1452.145,"body":"are their parent and you need to help"},{"startTime":1448.274,"endTime":1452.145,"body":"them hopefully grow up to be adults"},{"startTime":1452.145,"endTime":1457.514,"body":"who are kind and nice and functional,"},{"startTime":1452.145,"endTime":1457.514,"body":"et cetera, before just going into the"},{"startTime":1457.514,"endTime":1461.595,"body":"room and saying you that was blah, blah,"},{"startTime":1457.514,"endTime":1461.595,"body":"blah, and telling them, I'll come to the"},{"startTime":1461.595,"endTime":1465.794,"body":"bedroom door and say, Hey, I'd really"},{"startTime":1461.595,"endTime":1465.794,"body":"like to have a chat with you about that."},{"startTime":1466.304,"endTime":1467.504,"body":"Would that be okay with you?"},{"startTime":1467.504,"endTime":1468.225,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1469.04,"endTime":1473.899,"body":". You know, and when they say, even"},{"startTime":1469.04,"endTime":1473.899,"body":"if they don't want me to, but"},{"startTime":1473.899,"endTime":1475.76,"body":"when they say, Yes, dad, you can."},{"startTime":1475.76,"endTime":1476.69,"body":"We can have a chat."},{"startTime":1476.899,"endTime":1477.8,"body":"I've got consent."},{"startTime":1478.73,"endTime":1481.07,"body":"The communication's always more effective."},{"startTime":1482.015,"endTime":1484.565,"body":"You know, cuz there's an understanding"},{"startTime":1482.015,"endTime":1484.565,"body":"that we're gonna talk about"},{"startTime":1484.57,"endTime":1487.025,"body":"this now and the consequences,"},{"startTime":1484.57,"endTime":1487.025,"body":"et cetera, blah, blah, blah."},{"startTime":1487.025,"endTime":1488.645,"body":"So yeah, I love that."},{"startTime":1488.645,"endTime":1492.245,"body":"I love that, Brian, the idea of,"},{"startTime":1488.645,"endTime":1492.245,"body":"of an understanding is so good"},{"startTime":1492.245,"endTime":1493.505,"body":"with conscious communication."},{"startTime":1494.615,"endTime":1495.155,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1495.155,"endTime":1499.715,"body":"And I wanted to to ask you in terms of"},{"startTime":1495.155,"endTime":1499.715,"body":"the work that you do as well, because"},{"startTime":1499.72,"endTime":1505.135,"body":"for me, in terms of communication, most"},{"startTime":1499.72,"endTime":1505.135,"body":"people tend to focus on how we speak."},{"startTime":1505.925,"endTime":1507.365,"body":"How do we listen?"},{"startTime":1507.604,"endTime":1509.165,"body":"How are we present?"},{"startTime":1509.405,"endTime":1511.804,"body":"And can you speak of that receiving end?"},{"startTime":1512.854,"endTime":1513.395,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1514.084,"endTime":1514.564,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1514.564,"endTime":1522.665,"body":"I, Well, first of all, it, it's"},{"startTime":1514.564,"endTime":1522.665,"body":"easier to listen and hear if you"},{"startTime":1522.665,"endTime":1525.665,"body":"have been having a mindful practice."},{"startTime":1525.665,"endTime":1527.375,"body":"A mindful, yeah."},{"startTime":1527.405,"endTime":1531.965,"body":"If you've been meditating over,"},{"startTime":1527.405,"endTime":1531.965,"body":"over a period of time where you are"},{"startTime":1531.965,"endTime":1534.274,"body":"training your mind to be present."},{"startTime":1535.76,"endTime":1538.07,"body":"You just, you get better"},{"startTime":1535.76,"endTime":1538.07,"body":"at not being so distracted."},{"startTime":1538.73,"endTime":1544.58,"body":"And so when you're listening, the, the"},{"startTime":1538.73,"endTime":1544.58,"body":"more present you are, less distracted,"},{"startTime":1544.58,"endTime":1547.28,"body":"you know, you're not queuing up to"},{"startTime":1544.58,"endTime":1547.28,"body":"speak or you're not thinking about"},{"startTime":1547.285,"endTime":1548.39,"body":"what you're cooking for dinner."},{"startTime":1548.42,"endTime":1552.23,"body":"You are just really present with"},{"startTime":1548.42,"endTime":1552.23,"body":"that person seeking to understand."},{"startTime":1553.49,"endTime":1560.57,"body":"The person speaking, they feel that,"},{"startTime":1553.49,"endTime":1560.57,"body":"they feel that you are right there"},{"startTime":1560.57,"endTime":1564.44,"body":"with them listening and seeking"},{"startTime":1560.57,"endTime":1564.44,"body":"to understand, and they actually"},{"startTime":1564.44,"endTime":1565.76,"body":"communicate more effectively."},{"startTime":1565.76,"endTime":1567.74,"body":"It's this beautiful,"},{"startTime":1565.76,"endTime":1567.74,"body":"symbiotic relationship."},{"startTime":1567.745,"endTime":1571.88,"body":"Energetically, the, the more"},{"startTime":1567.745,"endTime":1571.88,"body":"beautifully you listen, the more"},{"startTime":1571.885,"endTime":1576.86,"body":"beautifully they relax into their"},{"startTime":1571.885,"endTime":1576.86,"body":"communication and vice versa."},{"startTime":1576.86,"endTime":1579.98,"body":"If you are not really listening to"},{"startTime":1576.86,"endTime":1579.98,"body":"someone, if you are kind of distracted or"},{"startTime":1579.98,"endTime":1581.72,"body":"you're thinking about how you're gonna."},{"startTime":1582.485,"endTime":1586.655,"body":"Debate them or refute what they're"},{"startTime":1582.485,"endTime":1586.655,"body":"saying, or add your point of view in"},{"startTime":1586.655,"endTime":1590.524,"body":"if you're just queuing up to speak or"},{"startTime":1586.655,"endTime":1590.524,"body":"if you, or if you're not even present,"},{"startTime":1590.524,"endTime":1591.875,"body":"you're thinking about something else."},{"startTime":1592.325,"endTime":1595.655,"body":"They start to stumble over their words."},{"startTime":1595.659,"endTime":1598.655,"body":"They, they, they become"},{"startTime":1595.659,"endTime":1598.655,"body":"clunky in their communication"},{"startTime":1598.659,"endTime":1600.575,"body":"because it is a relationship."},{"startTime":1602.075,"endTime":1607.054,"body":"You, it's this beautiful symbiotic"},{"startTime":1602.075,"endTime":1607.054,"body":"relationship and we are of the same."},{"startTime":1608.465,"endTime":1610.115,"body":"entity in communication."},{"startTime":1610.265,"endTime":1610.355,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1611.075,"endTime":1612.995,"body":", you know, so we affect"},{"startTime":1611.075,"endTime":1612.995,"body":"each other very much."},{"startTime":1614.075,"endTime":1614.555,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1614.615,"endTime":1619.475,"body":"Makes like, I, I have done,"},{"startTime":1614.615,"endTime":1619.475,"body":"as you can tell from my, some"},{"startTime":1619.475,"endTime":1620.975,"body":"of my experiences, a lot of."},{"startTime":1621.365,"endTime":1628.175,"body":"Practices to be mindful, to be able to"},{"startTime":1621.365,"endTime":1628.175,"body":"listen to what I might call hold space as"},{"startTime":1628.175,"endTime":1634.055,"body":"well when I'm working with, with people"},{"startTime":1628.175,"endTime":1634.055,"body":"as well, to, to be able to, to be there,"},{"startTime":1634.055,"endTime":1639.965,"body":"present for someone else and, and that"},{"startTime":1634.055,"endTime":1639.965,"body":"a lot of times I feel like it's one of"},{"startTime":1640.225,"endTime":1645.485,"body":"the most important gifts that we can"},{"startTime":1640.225,"endTime":1645.485,"body":"give to someone is to just be present."},{"startTime":1645.755,"endTime":1650.415,"body":"And, And as you're saying, there's"},{"startTime":1645.755,"endTime":1650.415,"body":"such a tendency to want to interject"},{"startTime":1650.565,"endTime":1655.245,"body":"in someone's sharing or to high"},{"startTime":1650.565,"endTime":1655.245,"body":"check the experiences like that."},{"startTime":1655.305,"endTime":1656.775,"body":"That happens to me as well."},{"startTime":1657.56,"endTime":1662.24,"body":"Without giving the space for the other one"},{"startTime":1657.56,"endTime":1662.24,"body":"to share, because we all want to share."},{"startTime":1662.33,"endTime":1664.909,"body":"And that's, you know, like,"},{"startTime":1662.33,"endTime":1664.909,"body":"uh, something that is there."},{"startTime":1665.24,"endTime":1670.97,"body":"And one of the things that came, came"},{"startTime":1665.24,"endTime":1670.97,"body":"up and whilst you were just talking,"},{"startTime":1671.72,"endTime":1679.639,"body":"was a time that I, I had a partner"},{"startTime":1671.72,"endTime":1679.639,"body":"in, in the US and, and she met my, my"},{"startTime":1679.639,"endTime":1684.62,"body":"family like in Argentina and the way."},{"startTime":1685.22,"endTime":1689.15,"body":"At home, we will just"},{"startTime":1685.22,"endTime":1689.15,"body":"communicate in the dinner table."},{"startTime":1690.17,"endTime":1693.74,"body":"I never noticed this, but until"},{"startTime":1690.17,"endTime":1693.74,"body":"I had someone else saying like,"},{"startTime":1693.74,"endTime":1694.94,"body":"Why are you all screaming?"},{"startTime":1695.91,"endTime":1696.33,"body":"Why?"},{"startTime":1696.59,"endTime":1698.03,"body":"Why are you all fighting?"},{"startTime":1698.09,"endTime":1699.57,"body":"And it's like, Oh, we're not."},{"startTime":1699.57,"endTime":1699.93,"body":"We're just."},{"startTime":1700.515,"endTime":1705.045,"body":"Talking, but you know, it's, it's,"},{"startTime":1700.515,"endTime":1705.045,"body":"it's such a like talking, going back"},{"startTime":1705.045,"endTime":1708.255,"body":"to like different cultures that you"},{"startTime":1705.045,"endTime":1708.255,"body":"were talking at the beginning, like"},{"startTime":1708.315,"endTime":1712.215,"body":"there's all of these different ways"},{"startTime":1708.315,"endTime":1712.215,"body":"and, and being, I don't know if it's"},{"startTime":1712.22,"endTime":1717.105,"body":"because it's Latin or what, but it's"},{"startTime":1712.22,"endTime":1717.105,"body":"this way of, of talking that it suddenly"},{"startTime":1717.105,"endTime":1719.325,"body":"like, It's getting louder and louder."},{"startTime":1719.325,"endTime":1719.775,"body":"Louder."},{"startTime":1719.775,"endTime":1723.855,"body":"And the only reason, like someone will"},{"startTime":1719.775,"endTime":1723.855,"body":"listen to you because you were the"},{"startTime":1723.855,"endTime":1729.615,"body":"loudest one . So I was just thinking"},{"startTime":1723.855,"endTime":1729.615,"body":"about that and it's like, ah, Like in"},{"startTime":1729.62,"endTime":1732.165,"body":"my experience, I, I should say that."},{"startTime":1732.165,"endTime":1736.515,"body":"I'm like, Wow, I, I have gone"},{"startTime":1732.165,"endTime":1736.515,"body":"from that way of communicating."},{"startTime":1736.515,"endTime":1739.875,"body":"Even my entire family has gone"},{"startTime":1736.515,"endTime":1739.875,"body":"from that way of communicating."},{"startTime":1740.11,"endTime":1746.11,"body":"To a much more conscious way of"},{"startTime":1740.11,"endTime":1746.11,"body":"doing that by creating space."},{"startTime":1746.11,"endTime":1751.389,"body":"I'm in a sense, fortunate that my"},{"startTime":1746.11,"endTime":1751.389,"body":"parents and my siblings in a certain"},{"startTime":1751.54,"endTime":1756.55,"body":"extent have gone on retreats,"},{"startTime":1751.54,"endTime":1756.55,"body":"have experienced and practiced so."},{"startTime":1756.93,"endTime":1760.56,"body":"We can meet each other within"},{"startTime":1756.93,"endTime":1760.56,"body":"that, that, and that's not"},{"startTime":1760.56,"endTime":1762.6,"body":"always the case in all families."},{"startTime":1762.6,"endTime":1766.14,"body":"So from that place, I'm,"},{"startTime":1762.6,"endTime":1766.14,"body":"I'm really, really grateful."},{"startTime":1767.07,"endTime":1767.55,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1767.64,"endTime":1771.45,"body":"So I, I wanted to, to, to ask"},{"startTime":1767.64,"endTime":1771.45,"body":"you a little bit more around"},{"startTime":1771.45,"endTime":1773.49,"body":"that, especially with families."},{"startTime":1774.06,"endTime":1777.75,"body":"You're saying that you have a"},{"startTime":1774.06,"endTime":1777.75,"body":"much more conscious relationship"},{"startTime":1777.75,"endTime":1779.1,"body":"now with your partner."},{"startTime":1779.58,"endTime":1783.84,"body":"How does that look like for people that"},{"startTime":1779.58,"endTime":1783.84,"body":"are now in a, in a relationship and"},{"startTime":1783.84,"endTime":1789.42,"body":"potentially they find that they are"},{"startTime":1783.84,"endTime":1789.42,"body":"either arguing or having difficulties"},{"startTime":1789.42,"endTime":1791.46,"body":"just from a communication standpoint."},{"startTime":1791.795,"endTime":1794.975,"body":"What are some of the things that you"},{"startTime":1791.795,"endTime":1794.975,"body":"can share from your own experience?"},{"startTime":1795.875,"endTime":1796.715,"body":"Yeah, sure."},{"startTime":1797.855,"endTime":1801.155,"body":"Before I do, I just, I have to share"},{"startTime":1797.855,"endTime":1801.155,"body":"with you, I was imagining you and your"},{"startTime":1801.155,"endTime":1806.585,"body":"family and how beautiful it is that"},{"startTime":1801.155,"endTime":1806.585,"body":"they've also been on retreat, but I"},{"startTime":1806.59,"endTime":1812.21,"body":"was imagining a different, Argentinian"},{"startTime":1806.59,"endTime":1812.21,"body":"family where just one person went on"},{"startTime":1812.21,"endTime":1817.58,"body":"retreat and practiced for years and,"},{"startTime":1812.21,"endTime":1817.58,"body":"and became, you know, more quiet."},{"startTime":1817.88,"endTime":1820.73,"body":"And when they would come back to their"},{"startTime":1817.88,"endTime":1820.73,"body":"family and their family's all speaking"},{"startTime":1820.735,"endTime":1824.525,"body":"loudly and talking, and the family"},{"startTime":1820.735,"endTime":1824.525,"body":"would be like, What's wrong with you?"},{"startTime":1825.065,"endTime":1827.615,"body":"And the man is, There's"},{"startTime":1825.065,"endTime":1827.615,"body":"nothing wrong with me."},{"startTime":1827.615,"endTime":1828.425,"body":"I'm happy they're going."},{"startTime":1828.575,"endTime":1829.625,"body":"There's something wrong with him."},{"startTime":1829.655,"endTime":1832.085,"body":"He's depressed some, What's wrong?"},{"startTime":1832.265,"endTime":1832.775,"body":"Wake up."},{"startTime":1833.315,"endTime":1833.615,"body":"Where?"},{"startTime":1833.615,"endTime":1834.305,"body":"Have you gone?"},{"startTime":1834.995,"endTime":1835.475,"body":"No, no, no."},{"startTime":1835.475,"endTime":1836.405,"body":"I'm just chill man."},{"startTime":1836.405,"endTime":1837.215,"body":"I'm just listening."},{"startTime":1838.805,"endTime":1841.015,"body":". But the family would think there"},{"startTime":1838.805,"endTime":1841.015,"body":"was something wrong with you, right?"},{"startTime":1841.705,"endTime":1842.255,"body":"Oh, no."},{"startTime":1842.285,"endTime":1843.095,"body":"He's depressed."},{"startTime":1843.095,"endTime":1844.895,"body":"He's gonna kill himself not talking."},{"startTime":1845.345,"endTime":1845.615,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1845.695,"endTime":1847.715,"body":"I, I had that one when I was younger."},{"startTime":1847.715,"endTime":1848.675,"body":"Like he's not talking."},{"startTime":1849.23,"endTime":1852.03,"body":"Like he's repressing"},{"startTime":1849.23,"endTime":1852.03,"body":"and, Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1852.03,"endTime":1853.04,"body":"There's something wrong with him."},{"startTime":1853.199,"endTime":1856.56,"body":"Actually, when I was a kid, I didn't"},{"startTime":1853.199,"endTime":1856.56,"body":"think that I was doing that, and later"},{"startTime":1856.56,"endTime":1858.209,"body":"on I was like, Oh, I was doing that."},{"startTime":1858.215,"endTime":1865.139,"body":"But  anyways, um, oh look,"},{"startTime":1858.215,"endTime":1865.139,"body":"I, you know where to start."},{"startTime":1865.55,"endTime":1871.11,"body":"Having a, having an understanding"},{"startTime":1865.55,"endTime":1871.11,"body":"of, of my ego and when it's my ego"},{"startTime":1871.11,"endTime":1872.97,"body":"that is about to jump in and speak."},{"startTime":1874.25,"endTime":1876.199,"body":"That doesn't mean that"},{"startTime":1874.25,"endTime":1876.199,"body":"I don't have an ego."},{"startTime":1876.199,"endTime":1877.129,"body":"Of course I have an ego."},{"startTime":1877.189,"endTime":1877.76,"body":"We all do."},{"startTime":1877.76,"endTime":1878.57,"body":"It's necessary."},{"startTime":1878.57,"endTime":1881.689,"body":"It's having a sense of identity"},{"startTime":1878.57,"endTime":1881.689,"body":"is a part of being human."},{"startTime":1881.689,"endTime":1883.159,"body":"So that's, that's fine."},{"startTime":1883.459,"endTime":1890.149,"body":"But we can develop a more acute"},{"startTime":1883.459,"endTime":1890.149,"body":"awareness of our ego through practice"},{"startTime":1890.629,"endTime":1897.169,"body":"and, and, and understanding, and it's"},{"startTime":1890.629,"endTime":1897.169,"body":"so helpful, you know, because if my"},{"startTime":1897.169,"endTime":1902.84,"body":"partner says something and my ego"},{"startTime":1897.169,"endTime":1902.84,"body":"wants to react, I can catch it now."},{"startTime":1902.93,"endTime":1903.59,"body":"I can go"},{"startTime":1906.83,"endTime":1911.84,"body":"take a breath, pause, and I"},{"startTime":1906.83,"endTime":1911.84,"body":"call it out in my, in my mind"},{"startTime":1911.84,"endTime":1913.91,"body":"I'm like, Oh, ego, look at you."},{"startTime":1913.91,"endTime":1914.33,"body":"Go."},{"startTime":1914.93,"endTime":1918.95,"body":"You're desperate to be right in"},{"startTime":1914.93,"endTime":1918.95,"body":"this moment, or you are desperate"},{"startTime":1918.95,"endTime":1924.68,"body":"to place judgment or you desperate"},{"startTime":1918.95,"endTime":1924.68,"body":"to justify your actions right now."},{"startTime":1926.045,"endTime":1931.325,"body":"And I have this conversation with my ego,"},{"startTime":1926.045,"endTime":1931.325,"body":"and I say, Bless your cotton socks ego."},{"startTime":1932.105,"endTime":1932.855,"body":"I love you."},{"startTime":1932.945,"endTime":1938.615,"body":"I know you're trying to keep us"},{"startTime":1932.945,"endTime":1938.615,"body":"safe, but we're safe right now."},{"startTime":1938.615,"endTime":1940.955,"body":"There's, there's no lion coming to eat us."},{"startTime":1941.435,"endTime":1942.455,"body":"We're not in danger."},{"startTime":1943.945,"endTime":1949.085,"body":"You know, my woman has just said something"},{"startTime":1943.945,"endTime":1949.085,"body":"and you've just had a reaction to it."},{"startTime":1949.085,"endTime":1949.745,"body":"That's okay."},{"startTime":1949.805,"endTime":1954.335,"body":"Just take a breath and then"},{"startTime":1949.805,"endTime":1954.335,"body":"lean into the communication."},{"startTime":1955.145,"endTime":1956.645,"body":"Seek to understand."},{"startTime":1957.905,"endTime":1959.345,"body":"You've got nothing to defend."},{"startTime":1960.425,"endTime":1966.514,"body":"You don't need to defend anything if"},{"startTime":1960.425,"endTime":1966.514,"body":"your partner is wanting an explanation"},{"startTime":1966.52,"endTime":1970.625,"body":"as to why you did something in a"},{"startTime":1966.52,"endTime":1970.625,"body":"particular way or what or how you thinking"},{"startTime":1970.625,"endTime":1972.965,"body":"about something, by all means give."},{"startTime":1974.39,"endTime":1977.0,"body":"Talk with each other, seek to understand."},{"startTime":1977.33,"endTime":1983.93,"body":"But it's this kind of aggressive defensive"},{"startTime":1977.33,"endTime":1983.93,"body":"life and death energy that the ego has,"},{"startTime":1983.93,"endTime":1989.3,"body":"you know, because we identify our ego,"},{"startTime":1983.93,"endTime":1989.3,"body":"identifies with our ideas, with our"},{"startTime":1989.305,"endTime":1995.42,"body":"beliefs, with our political beliefs, with"},{"startTime":1989.305,"endTime":1995.42,"body":"our ideologies, and then people go to war"},{"startTime":1995.42,"endTime":1999.26,"body":"with each other over an idea or a belief."},{"startTime":1999.935,"endTime":2004.525,"body":"And they end up, you know,"},{"startTime":1999.935,"endTime":2004.525,"body":"fighting either physically or,"},{"startTime":2004.525,"endTime":2008.335,"body":"or, or, you know, psychologically,"},{"startTime":2004.525,"endTime":2008.335,"body":"emotionally, verbally fighting."},{"startTime":2009.655,"endTime":2010.975,"body":"And, uh, it's unnecessary."},{"startTime":2012.175,"endTime":2015.145,"body":"It doesn't help, it doesn't"},{"startTime":2012.175,"endTime":2015.145,"body":"help evolve the situation."},{"startTime":2015.415,"endTime":2018.985,"body":"You know, I, I, I find anyway,"},{"startTime":2015.415,"endTime":2018.985,"body":"so my partner and I don't fight."},{"startTime":2019.835,"endTime":2019.955,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":2020.405,"endTime":2021.215,"body":"We just don't fight."},{"startTime":2021.845,"endTime":2025.565,"body":"And when we first got together, because"},{"startTime":2021.845,"endTime":2025.565,"body":"we came from tumultuous relationships,"},{"startTime":2026.075,"endTime":2027.785,"body":"we were like, Are we supposed to fight?"},{"startTime":2028.175,"endTime":2029.525,"body":"Do we, do we need to fight?"},{"startTime":2029.915,"endTime":2031.895,"body":"Is that where the sexual"},{"startTime":2029.915,"endTime":2031.895,"body":"charge comes from?"},{"startTime":2032.225,"endTime":2034.805,"body":"How are we gonna stay sexually"},{"startTime":2032.225,"endTime":2034.805,"body":"attracted to each other if we're not"},{"startTime":2034.805,"endTime":2039.155,"body":"fighting ? But we just didn't wanna fight"},{"startTime":2034.805,"endTime":2039.155,"body":"because we just, we love each other."},{"startTime":2039.16,"endTime":2041.015,"body":"We don't want to be mean to each other."},{"startTime":2041.015,"endTime":2042.395,"body":"So we're just nice to each other."},{"startTime":2042.395,"endTime":2043.705,"body":"It doesn't mean we don't disagree."},{"startTime":2044.71,"endTime":2047.74,"body":"But we can disagree"},{"startTime":2044.71,"endTime":2047.74,"body":"beautifully and, and with love."},{"startTime":2048.55,"endTime":2052.51,"body":"So the good news is that you don't have"},{"startTime":2048.55,"endTime":2052.51,"body":"to fight to have sexual attraction."},{"startTime":2052.51,"endTime":2054.4,"body":"We're still very sexually"},{"startTime":2052.51,"endTime":2054.4,"body":"attracted to each other."},{"startTime":2054.88,"endTime":2056.29,"body":"Um, but we are just nice to each other."},{"startTime":2056.35,"endTime":2057.49,"body":"So, yeah."},{"startTime":2058.81,"endTime":2063.25,"body":"You know, there's one of the"},{"startTime":2058.81,"endTime":2063.25,"body":"things that I, with a lot of my"},{"startTime":2063.25,"endTime":2069.22,"body":"clients, that a lot of times I, I,"},{"startTime":2063.25,"endTime":2069.22,"body":"when I listen to them, I notice."},{"startTime":2069.65,"endTime":2076.04,"body":"That there's a tendency to, when"},{"startTime":2069.65,"endTime":2076.04,"body":"things start to get charged up to"},{"startTime":2076.04,"endTime":2078.44,"body":"continue until someone in a sense wins."},{"startTime":2079.07,"endTime":2085.25,"body":"Um, and I, and I say, What if in that"},{"startTime":2079.07,"endTime":2085.25,"body":"moment you just call time out and"},{"startTime":2085.25,"endTime":2090.05,"body":"you actually process the feelings and"},{"startTime":2085.25,"endTime":2090.05,"body":"you come back when that church is not"},{"startTime":2090.054,"endTime":2092.23,"body":"longer there, so that you can actually."},{"startTime":2092.905,"endTime":2096.205,"body":"Listen to each other and you can"},{"startTime":2092.905,"endTime":2096.205,"body":"share actually what's happening."},{"startTime":2096.534,"endTime":2100.645,"body":"And yet I think that as well,"},{"startTime":2096.534,"endTime":2100.645,"body":"the more conscious that we are"},{"startTime":2100.65,"endTime":2104.845,"body":"within our experience, the easier"},{"startTime":2100.65,"endTime":2104.845,"body":"of course it will be to do that."},{"startTime":2105.025,"endTime":2108.205,"body":"Because one of the things"},{"startTime":2105.025,"endTime":2108.205,"body":"that, that I usually share, I,"},{"startTime":2108.325,"endTime":2113.725,"body":"I use a very differentiation"},{"startTime":2108.325,"endTime":2113.725,"body":"between reaction and response."},{"startTime":2113.725,"endTime":2116.875,"body":"And for me, reaction is"},{"startTime":2113.725,"endTime":2116.875,"body":"completely automatic pilot."},{"startTime":2117.145,"endTime":2118.135,"body":"All of those."},{"startTime":2118.295,"endTime":2122.675,"body":"Parts of ourselves that we haven't"},{"startTime":2118.295,"endTime":2122.675,"body":"held and integrated yet, and respond"},{"startTime":2123.005,"endTime":2125.915,"body":"responses how we are wanting to respond."},{"startTime":2125.915,"endTime":2126.965,"body":"It's more conscious."},{"startTime":2126.965,"endTime":2127.025,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2127.295,"endTime":2133.205,"body":"And as you were saying, if if it's not"},{"startTime":2127.295,"endTime":2133.205,"body":"about my inner experience, it's not."},{"startTime":2133.335,"endTime":2134.255,"body":"It is not there."},{"startTime":2134.255,"endTime":2134.855,"body":"It is there."},{"startTime":2134.86,"endTime":2136.805,"body":"It's just that I'm not clinging into it."},{"startTime":2136.805,"endTime":2138.575,"body":"I'm not actually, it's just reacting."},{"startTime":2138.665,"endTime":2139.055,"body":"I'm."},{"startTime":2139.66,"endTime":2140.02,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2140.08,"endTime":2140.68,"body":"You're there."},{"startTime":2140.98,"endTime":2144.85,"body":"I'm, I'm here with you and I'm going"},{"startTime":2140.98,"endTime":2144.85,"body":"to listen to you and I'm going to"},{"startTime":2144.85,"endTime":2151.09,"body":"respond without escalating the situation"},{"startTime":2144.85,"endTime":2151.09,"body":"because escalation won't help us as,"},{"startTime":2151.09,"endTime":2155.32,"body":"as you're saying, and, and escalation"},{"startTime":2151.09,"endTime":2155.32,"body":"a lot of times is, is the problem"},{"startTime":2155.32,"endTime":2161.41,"body":"because a lot of times I recognize"},{"startTime":2155.32,"endTime":2161.41,"body":"like we all come with our baggage, we"},{"startTime":2161.41,"endTime":2166.63,"body":"all come with our life experiences and"},{"startTime":2161.41,"endTime":2166.63,"body":"all of our, um, processed feelings."},{"startTime":2167.39,"endTime":2171.379,"body":"And all of those buttons that someone"},{"startTime":2167.39,"endTime":2171.379,"body":"can do something and sudden it's"},{"startTime":2171.379,"endTime":2173.509,"body":"like, uh oh, they are triggering me."},{"startTime":2173.839,"endTime":2174.2,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":2174.205,"endTime":2178.94,"body":"And, and the more aware that we"},{"startTime":2174.205,"endTime":2178.94,"body":"become of that through practices"},{"startTime":2178.97,"endTime":2183.44,"body":"like I I I use meditation and,"},{"startTime":2178.97,"endTime":2183.44,"body":"and if few other practices, but it"},{"startTime":2183.44,"endTime":2185.66,"body":"can be whatever works for someone."},{"startTime":2186.935,"endTime":2190.625,"body":"To get us to that place of"},{"startTime":2186.935,"endTime":2190.625,"body":"understanding, uh, this is how I"},{"startTime":2190.625,"endTime":2194.915,"body":"function, this is when someone does"},{"startTime":2190.625,"endTime":2194.915,"body":"that, this is what happens to me."},{"startTime":2194.915,"endTime":2196.775,"body":"And it's not about them doing that."},{"startTime":2196.78,"endTime":2197.825,"body":"It's about me."},{"startTime":2198.065,"endTime":2198.935,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2199.115,"endTime":2203.555,"body":"Actually responding in a way that is"},{"startTime":2199.115,"endTime":2203.555,"body":"based on something as you're saying."},{"startTime":2203.56,"endTime":2208.565,"body":"Like it could be if my five year old"},{"startTime":2203.56,"endTime":2208.565,"body":"that respond in one way and the only"},{"startTime":2208.565,"endTime":2210.545,"body":"way to actually work with that is."},{"startTime":2210.895,"endTime":2215.365,"body":"Through meditation or healing, or"},{"startTime":2210.895,"endTime":2215.365,"body":"as you were saying, in a sweat lodge"},{"startTime":2215.365,"endTime":2217.134,"body":"and having experiences like that."},{"startTime":2217.465,"endTime":2219.595,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2219.595,"endTime":2225.705,"body":"You know, and when you think about,"},{"startTime":2219.595,"endTime":2225.705,"body":"really the only thing that's personal is."},{"startTime":2227.23,"endTime":2232.36,"body":"What you do within yourself, your,"},{"startTime":2227.23,"endTime":2232.36,"body":"your reactions, your triggers,"},{"startTime":2232.81,"endTime":2235.84,"body":"your perceptions, your staff."},{"startTime":2236.17,"endTime":2237.7,"body":"That's the only thing that's personal."},{"startTime":2237.94,"endTime":2243.88,"body":"When, when somebody else comes up and,"},{"startTime":2237.94,"endTime":2243.88,"body":"and does something to you or triggers you."},{"startTime":2244.09,"endTime":2248.14,"body":"When someone comes up and makes it"},{"startTime":2244.09,"endTime":2248.14,"body":"personal, I'm doing inverted comments."},{"startTime":2248.44,"endTime":2252.52,"body":"When they make it personal, they"},{"startTime":2248.44,"endTime":2252.52,"body":"can't actually, it's not about you."},{"startTime":2253.615,"endTime":2257.125,"body":"They might come up to you and say,"},{"startTime":2253.615,"endTime":2257.125,"body":"Brian, you are at this and you are that."},{"startTime":2257.125,"endTime":2261.685,"body":"And they might say horrible things"},{"startTime":2257.125,"endTime":2261.685,"body":"about you, but they're not actually"},{"startTime":2262.855,"endTime":2265.375,"body":"talking about you objectively."},{"startTime":2265.375,"endTime":2267.535,"body":"They're talking about"},{"startTime":2265.375,"endTime":2267.535,"body":"their perception of you."},{"startTime":2267.535,"endTime":2268.285,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":2268.45,"endTime":2270.535,"body":", they can only know you in their mind."},{"startTime":2272.455,"endTime":2275.935,"body":"That's why if we got 10 people in the"},{"startTime":2272.455,"endTime":2275.935,"body":"room who know you and we asked them to"},{"startTime":2275.935,"endTime":2279.775,"body":"describe you in detail, you'll get 10"},{"startTime":2275.935,"endTime":2279.775,"body":"slightly different versions of Brian."},{"startTime":2280.285,"endTime":2281.755,"body":"So which one is the real Brian?"},{"startTime":2281.995,"endTime":2282.835,"body":"None of them."},{"startTime":2282.835,"endTime":2286.555,"body":"None of them can actually"},{"startTime":2282.835,"endTime":2286.555,"body":"completely know you objectively."},{"startTime":2286.56,"endTime":2288.565,"body":"They can only know"},{"startTime":2286.56,"endTime":2288.565,"body":"their perception of you."},{"startTime":2289.57,"endTime":2291.79,"body":"Their projection in their mind of you."},{"startTime":2292.9,"endTime":2295.36,"body":"So when someone comes up"},{"startTime":2292.9,"endTime":2295.36,"body":"and does something to you"},{"startTime":2295.42,"endTime":2297.07,"body":"personal, it's not personal."},{"startTime":2297.07,"endTime":2300.04,"body":"They're, they're attacking"},{"startTime":2297.07,"endTime":2300.04,"body":"their own projection."},{"startTime":2300.91,"endTime":2303.52,"body":", they're attacking themselves, you know?"},{"startTime":2303.91,"endTime":2307.54,"body":"And so the only thing that's personal"},{"startTime":2303.91,"endTime":2307.54,"body":"is what you do to yourself, what you"},{"startTime":2307.57,"endTime":2311.77,"body":"say to yourself, what you, how you"},{"startTime":2307.57,"endTime":2311.77,"body":"perceive and project your experience"},{"startTime":2311.77,"endTime":2314.68,"body":"of reality that's personal, you know?"},{"startTime":2314.68,"endTime":2317.69,"body":"So I believe that's the work to do."},{"startTime":2318.205,"endTime":2318.505,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":2318.775,"endTime":2323.605,"body":"You know, how do I talk to myself when"},{"startTime":2318.775,"endTime":2323.605,"body":"I set myself a goal, when I wanted"},{"startTime":2323.605,"endTime":2329.245,"body":"to live up to one of my values and"},{"startTime":2323.605,"endTime":2329.245,"body":"I fell short when I didn't show up?"},{"startTime":2330.19,"endTime":2335.26,"body":"In a way that I'm happy with, and"},{"startTime":2330.19,"endTime":2335.26,"body":"then I have to come into some place of"},{"startTime":2335.26,"endTime":2338.29,"body":"retribution or, you know, self coaching."},{"startTime":2338.295,"endTime":2339.85,"body":"How am I talking to myself?"},{"startTime":2340.18,"endTime":2343.27,"body":"What's the quality of the"},{"startTime":2340.18,"endTime":2343.27,"body":"words that I'm using on myself?"},{"startTime":2343.27,"endTime":2347.71,"body":"Because quite often us humans"},{"startTime":2343.27,"endTime":2347.71,"body":"are horrible to ourselves."},{"startTime":2348.76,"endTime":2351.1,"body":"The words we use are abusive."},{"startTime":2353.485,"endTime":2357.145,"body":"To any of your listeners, next time"},{"startTime":2353.485,"endTime":2357.145,"body":"you're standing naked in front of"},{"startTime":2357.145,"endTime":2361.075,"body":"the mirror and you're not feeling"},{"startTime":2357.145,"endTime":2361.075,"body":"very good about yourself, have"},{"startTime":2361.08,"endTime":2363.565,"body":"a listen to the choice of words."},{"startTime":2364.81,"endTime":2366.25,"body":"What are you calling yourself?"},{"startTime":2366.91,"endTime":2367.99,"body":"Because that's abusive."},{"startTime":2367.99,"endTime":2369.04,"body":"It's self abuse."},{"startTime":2370.0,"endTime":2370.51,"body":"Change it."},{"startTime":2371.53,"endTime":2372.52,"body":"Change the quality."},{"startTime":2372.525,"endTime":2376.0,"body":"Now, I'm not saying that you just kind"},{"startTime":2372.525,"endTime":2376.0,"body":"of go, well, full self acceptance,"},{"startTime":2376.0,"endTime":2379.24,"body":"therefore I never need to improve and"},{"startTime":2376.0,"endTime":2379.24,"body":"I, It doesn't matter how I show up."},{"startTime":2380.29,"endTime":2381.28,"body":"That's not what I'm saying."},{"startTime":2382.18,"endTime":2382.75,"body":"You can still."},{"startTime":2384.31,"endTime":2385.959,"body":"Have standards on yourself."},{"startTime":2385.959,"endTime":2387.729,"body":"You can still have your own core values."},{"startTime":2387.79,"endTime":2389.41,"body":"I want to be kind."},{"startTime":2389.41,"endTime":2393.009,"body":"I want to be compassionate, loving,"},{"startTime":2389.41,"endTime":2393.009,"body":"generous, whatever they are, right?"},{"startTime":2393.58,"endTime":2396.1,"body":"You can still aim to be"},{"startTime":2393.58,"endTime":2396.1,"body":"the best version of you."},{"startTime":2396.1,"endTime":2399.52,"body":"It's just that when you fall short or"},{"startTime":2396.1,"endTime":2399.52,"body":"you trip over or you make a mistake,"},{"startTime":2399.549,"endTime":2402.06,"body":"cuz that's what we do when that happens."},{"startTime":2402.97,"endTime":2404.479,"body":"Coach yourself positive."},{"startTime":2405.895,"endTime":2407.785,"body":"There's no excuse to be cruel."},{"startTime":2408.355,"endTime":2410.995,"body":"Cruelty is just simply dysfunctional."},{"startTime":2411.025,"endTime":2411.565,"body":"Full stop."},{"startTime":2412.105,"endTime":2416.214,"body":"I, I cannot think of a time when"},{"startTime":2412.105,"endTime":2416.214,"body":"being cruel serves any functional"},{"startTime":2416.214,"endTime":2418.944,"body":"purpose to yourself or to others."},{"startTime":2419.485,"endTime":2423.265,"body":"So it's just, I think it's, this"},{"startTime":2419.485,"endTime":2423.265,"body":"self work is, it's the only thing"},{"startTime":2423.27,"endTime":2425.575,"body":"that's really personal and that's"},{"startTime":2423.27,"endTime":2425.575,"body":"what we should be working on."},{"startTime":2425.935,"endTime":2426.565,"body":"Really, you."},{"startTime":2427.285,"endTime":2428.275,"body":"Yes, Yes."},{"startTime":2428.365,"endTime":2433.495,"body":"Like I, as you're saying that, uh, a"},{"startTime":2428.365,"endTime":2433.495,"body":"few of my students that are there at"},{"startTime":2433.555,"endTime":2442.825,"body":"university were working on starting to"},{"startTime":2433.555,"endTime":2442.825,"body":"realize how to befriend our own experience"},{"startTime":2442.975,"endTime":2448.885,"body":"and how to listen to those voices in"},{"startTime":2442.975,"endTime":2448.885,"body":"our heads and how to actually notice"},{"startTime":2448.885,"endTime":2450.475,"body":"the way that we are talking to our."},{"startTime":2451.24,"endTime":2454.48,"body":"And like I gave them some practice"},{"startTime":2451.24,"endTime":2454.48,"body":"like going into the mirror as"},{"startTime":2454.48,"endTime":2458.56,"body":"well, looking into their eyes"},{"startTime":2454.48,"endTime":2458.56,"body":"and just seeing what comes up."},{"startTime":2458.62,"endTime":2460.299,"body":"Not, you know, like not doing anything."},{"startTime":2460.305,"endTime":2464.319,"body":"Just seeing what comes up to"},{"startTime":2460.305,"endTime":2464.319,"body":"start to notice their self-talk"},{"startTime":2464.68,"endTime":2468.819,"body":"and to start to realize they"},{"startTime":2464.68,"endTime":2468.819,"body":"are, that's their inner roommate."},{"startTime":2469.24,"endTime":2470.68,"body":"They are living with that there."},{"startTime":2470.74,"endTime":2472.299,"body":"How do you want to live with that?"},{"startTime":2472.299,"endTime":2474.259,"body":"Do you want to have a good relationship?"},{"startTime":2474.64,"endTime":2477.52,"body":"Or do you want to have"},{"startTime":2474.64,"endTime":2477.52,"body":"that critical relationship?"},{"startTime":2477.52,"endTime":2482.83,"body":"So it's a, it's a lot of self, self"},{"startTime":2477.52,"endTime":2482.83,"body":"work that is needed, um, to do there."},{"startTime":2482.89,"endTime":2487.69,"body":"And Jim asked, as I noticed that"},{"startTime":2482.89,"endTime":2487.69,"body":"we are starting to get towards"},{"startTime":2487.75,"endTime":2489.43,"body":"the, the end of this episode."},{"startTime":2489.609,"endTime":2494.62,"body":"I wanted to, to ask you if you would"},{"startTime":2489.609,"endTime":2494.62,"body":"be able to share a little bit on some."},{"startTime":2495.175,"endTime":2502.735,"body":"Some ideas that you believe that"},{"startTime":2495.175,"endTime":2502.735,"body":"everyone would want to have discovered,"},{"startTime":2502.915,"endTime":2506.815,"body":"perhaps earlier if they haven't yet"},{"startTime":2502.915,"endTime":2506.815,"body":"to be able to show up better for"},{"startTime":2506.815,"endTime":2511.015,"body":"themselves and for others, and perhaps"},{"startTime":2506.815,"endTime":2511.015,"body":"those are things that are in your book."},{"startTime":2511.705,"endTime":2512.245,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2512.905,"endTime":2513.175,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2513.18,"endTime":2519.055,"body":"The idea that I'd love to share, it seems"},{"startTime":2513.18,"endTime":2519.055,"body":"simple, but it's deceptively simple."},{"startTime":2520.375,"endTime":2521.125,"body":"You are."},{"startTime":2521.815,"endTime":2522.805,"body":"I am You."},{"startTime":2524.529,"endTime":2531.97,"body":"Exactly who you're supposed to be"},{"startTime":2524.529,"endTime":2531.97,"body":"perfectly imperfect, and you are"},{"startTime":2531.97,"endTime":2540.879,"body":"completely enough, completely enough,"},{"startTime":2531.97,"endTime":2540.879,"body":"and a perfectly enough to be you."},{"startTime":2542.695,"endTime":2545.935,"body":"And you shouldn't be more like"},{"startTime":2542.695,"endTime":2545.935,"body":"anyone else cuz you're not them."},{"startTime":2545.935,"endTime":2549.175,"body":"You're you, . So apparently"},{"startTime":2545.935,"endTime":2549.175,"body":"you are supposed to be you"},{"startTime":2549.445,"endTime":2551.185,"body":"cuz there you are , right?"},{"startTime":2551.845,"endTime":2557.335,"body":"It's like, oh wow, I am enough to be me."},{"startTime":2558.175,"endTime":2560.605,"body":"I don't need to be more like"},{"startTime":2558.175,"endTime":2560.605,"body":"that person on social media."},{"startTime":2560.605,"endTime":2563.365,"body":"Or I don't need to be more like that"},{"startTime":2560.605,"endTime":2563.365,"body":"person down at the football club."},{"startTime":2563.365,"endTime":2568.285,"body":"Or I don't need to be more like that"},{"startTime":2563.365,"endTime":2568.285,"body":"person who's going out with my ex."},{"startTime":2568.495,"endTime":2568.795,"body":"I don't need."},{"startTime":2569.665,"endTime":2571.825,"body":"More like I, I'm actually"},{"startTime":2569.665,"endTime":2571.825,"body":"completely enough."},{"startTime":2572.365,"endTime":2573.805,"body":"I wish I knew that when I was younger."},{"startTime":2574.945,"endTime":2578.515,"body":"You know that that radical"},{"startTime":2574.945,"endTime":2578.515,"body":"self acceptance and then it"},{"startTime":2578.515,"endTime":2580.165,"body":"goes beyond self to everything."},{"startTime":2580.165,"endTime":2584.875,"body":"If we could take a snapshot in time,"},{"startTime":2580.165,"endTime":2584.875,"body":"if we could freeze frame time and look"},{"startTime":2584.88,"endTime":2590.755,"body":"at it right now, apparently everything"},{"startTime":2584.88,"endTime":2590.755,"body":"is exactly as it's supposed to be."},{"startTime":2593.365,"endTime":2594.225,"body":"How do we know?"},{"startTime":2594.745,"endTime":2597.145,"body":"Well, reality tops us because there it is."},{"startTime":2597.925,"endTime":2602.215,"body":"I love, There's an author thinker"},{"startTime":2597.925,"endTime":2602.215,"body":"from America called Byron Katie."},{"startTime":2602.725,"endTime":2606.445,"body":"Everyone just calls her Katie, and"},{"startTime":2602.725,"endTime":2606.445,"body":"she says, You can argue with reality"},{"startTime":2606.445,"endTime":2610.825,"body":"if you want to, but reality will win"},{"startTime":2606.445,"endTime":2610.825,"body":"only a hundred percent of the time."},{"startTime":2613.48,"endTime":2617.08,"body":"Right, And so, yeah, I would want"},{"startTime":2613.48,"endTime":2617.08,"body":"the world to know that everything"},{"startTime":2617.08,"endTime":2620.26,"body":"in this moment is exactly as"},{"startTime":2617.08,"endTime":2620.26,"body":"it should be, including you."},{"startTime":2620.68,"endTime":2623.62,"body":"That doesn't mean that we don't"},{"startTime":2620.68,"endTime":2623.62,"body":"look to improve, to evolve, to"},{"startTime":2623.625,"endTime":2625.51,"body":"grow, to expand into the future."},{"startTime":2625.51,"endTime":2629.59,"body":"It just means, oh, right now you are"},{"startTime":2625.51,"endTime":2629.59,"body":"exactly who you're supposed to be,"},{"startTime":2629.8,"endTime":2634.45,"body":"and you're enough and you deserve all"},{"startTime":2629.8,"endTime":2634.45,"body":"the happiness that you can manifest."},{"startTime":2636.175,"endTime":2637.225,"body":"You know, you really do."},{"startTime":2637.375,"endTime":2639.205,"body":"That's what I'd want the world to know."},{"startTime":2639.785,"endTime":2640.275,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2640.645,"endTime":2648.685,"body":"That's so beautiful and and I love as well"},{"startTime":2640.645,"endTime":2648.685,"body":"that where we are now, not only is enough,"},{"startTime":2648.715,"endTime":2656.005,"body":"it's perfect and there's in the next"},{"startTime":2648.715,"endTime":2656.005,"body":"moment a new version as well of ourselves."},{"startTime":2656.185,"endTime":2656.305,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2656.305,"endTime":2657.685,"body":"If we choose to, Yeah."},{"startTime":2657.685,"endTime":2663.355,"body":"We can stay where we are or we can go to"},{"startTime":2657.685,"endTime":2663.355,"body":"the next version of ourselves because."},{"startTime":2664.18,"endTime":2665.8,"body":"This is my understanding."},{"startTime":2666.28,"endTime":2668.08,"body":"Each moment we can choose."},{"startTime":2668.68,"endTime":2672.73,"body":"Yeah, Each moment there's an"},{"startTime":2668.68,"endTime":2672.73,"body":"opportunity for change, whether we"},{"startTime":2672.73,"endTime":2677.44,"body":"want to call it growth or not, that"},{"startTime":2672.73,"endTime":2677.44,"body":"there's always a new version of"},{"startTime":2677.44,"endTime":2679.75,"body":"ourselves if we want to choose that."},{"startTime":2680.02,"endTime":2684.62,"body":"It's one of the things that I"},{"startTime":2680.02,"endTime":2684.62,"body":"remember my teacher saying so much."},{"startTime":2685.555,"endTime":2688.944,"body":"If you don't like what's"},{"startTime":2685.555,"endTime":2688.944,"body":"happening now, now you can choose."},{"startTime":2689.125,"endTime":2690.035,"body":"Now you can choose."},{"startTime":2690.115,"endTime":2690.924,"body":"Now you can choose."},{"startTime":2690.984,"endTime":2694.915,"body":"Now you can choose like how many of these"},{"startTime":2690.984,"endTime":2694.915,"body":"moments do you want because it's every"},{"startTime":2694.915,"endTime":2698.125,"body":"single nanosecond that you can choose."},{"startTime":2698.605,"endTime":2702.955,"body":"But, but I love that message because"},{"startTime":2698.605,"endTime":2702.955,"body":"I think a lot of people, you know,"},{"startTime":2702.955,"endTime":2704.305,"body":"a lot of times haven't heard that."},{"startTime":2704.83,"endTime":2708.73,"body":"Mm, that they are enough and all that"},{"startTime":2704.83,"endTime":2708.73,"body":"they need to do is to be themselves."},{"startTime":2709.24,"endTime":2709.51,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2709.54,"endTime":2715.51,"body":"We, we live in a world where there's"},{"startTime":2709.54,"endTime":2715.51,"body":"a lot of comparison and there's a lot"},{"startTime":2715.51,"endTime":2721.24,"body":"of, as you shared before, a lot of that"},{"startTime":2715.51,"endTime":2721.24,"body":"false comparison based on what we might"},{"startTime":2721.45,"endTime":2726.16,"body":"see as the snapshot of someone's life,"},{"startTime":2721.45,"endTime":2726.16,"body":"that curated social media presence."},{"startTime":2726.19,"endTime":2729.7,"body":"Or even as you said, like it"},{"startTime":2726.19,"endTime":2729.7,"body":"seems that you have the perfect"},{"startTime":2729.7,"endTime":2732.13,"body":"life where inside that's not the."},{"startTime":2732.82,"endTime":2733.21,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2733.21,"endTime":2735.04,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2735.04,"endTime":2735.76,"body":"Absolutely."},{"startTime":2736.12,"endTime":2736.36,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":2737.56,"endTime":2738.19,"body":"Beautiful."},{"startTime":2739.03,"endTime":2744.91,"body":"And Jim, for everyone that is"},{"startTime":2739.03,"endTime":2744.91,"body":"resonating with some of the things"},{"startTime":2744.91,"endTime":2749.68,"body":"that you're sharing, what can they"},{"startTime":2744.91,"endTime":2749.68,"body":"find more about what you're doing and"},{"startTime":2749.68,"endTime":2753.76,"body":"what are things that they might, if"},{"startTime":2749.68,"endTime":2753.76,"body":"they want to do and work with you?"},{"startTime":2754.6,"endTime":2755.44,"body":"Yeah, sure."},{"startTime":2756.535,"endTime":2763.194,"body":"I'd love it if you, if you felt like"},{"startTime":2756.535,"endTime":2763.194,"body":"reading my book and I can, um, recommend"},{"startTime":2763.255,"endTime":2767.395,"body":"my book now wholeheartedly, because"},{"startTime":2763.255,"endTime":2767.395,"body":"the feedback that I've been getting"},{"startTime":2767.395,"endTime":2770.275,"body":"from around the world is so beautiful."},{"startTime":2770.275,"endTime":2774.025,"body":"People are emailing me and thanking"},{"startTime":2770.275,"endTime":2774.025,"body":"me for writing this book, um, because"},{"startTime":2774.025,"endTime":2775.765,"body":"it's, they, it's helping people."},{"startTime":2775.765,"endTime":2777.745,"body":"So yeah, that's that."},{"startTime":2777.745,"endTime":2778.585,"body":"Yeah, grab the book."},{"startTime":2778.585,"endTime":2782.965,"body":"You can get that from Amazon or"},{"startTime":2778.585,"endTime":2782.965,"body":"Booktopia or wherever or just off my."},{"startTime":2784.195,"endTime":2789.025,"body":"Gem fuller.com and on the website"},{"startTime":2784.195,"endTime":2789.025,"body":"you can contact me, you can"},{"startTime":2789.025,"endTime":2790.315,"body":"email me through the website."},{"startTime":2790.765,"endTime":2794.125,"body":"You can find out about the,"},{"startTime":2790.765,"endTime":2794.125,"body":"the retreats that I run."},{"startTime":2794.155,"endTime":2798.085,"body":"We run retreats in the Himalaya"},{"startTime":2794.155,"endTime":2798.085,"body":"and Barley and other places."},{"startTime":2798.475,"endTime":2799.345,"body":"I work with leaders."},{"startTime":2800.365,"endTime":2803.095,"body":"All around the world now and, and"},{"startTime":2800.365,"endTime":2803.095,"body":"especially over the last couple"},{"startTime":2803.095,"endTime":2805.765,"body":"of years, taking everything"},{"startTime":2803.095,"endTime":2805.765,"body":"online means that I can do that."},{"startTime":2806.455,"endTime":2811.464,"body":"We're forming a, a group of"},{"startTime":2806.455,"endTime":2811.464,"body":"leaders, uh, specifically to talk"},{"startTime":2811.47,"endTime":2814.615,"body":"about communication, conscious"},{"startTime":2811.47,"endTime":2814.615,"body":"communication for the modern leader."},{"startTime":2815.23,"endTime":2818.83,"body":"If you're interested in that group,"},{"startTime":2815.23,"endTime":2818.83,"body":"just email me or follow me on"},{"startTime":2818.83,"endTime":2822.46,"body":"Instagram, Gem Fuller, Facebook"},{"startTime":2818.83,"endTime":2822.46,"body":"Jam Fuller, LinkedIn, Gem, Fuller."},{"startTime":2822.91,"endTime":2824.05,"body":"Uh, a little bit of warning."},{"startTime":2824.05,"endTime":2828.07,"body":"I have a team that managed those"},{"startTime":2824.05,"endTime":2828.07,"body":"accounts, um, so you might be talking"},{"startTime":2828.07,"endTime":2831.25,"body":"with someone on my team, but if you"},{"startTime":2828.07,"endTime":2831.25,"body":"want to just reach out directly to"},{"startTime":2831.255,"endTime":2832.57,"body":"me, just email me through the website."},{"startTime":2833.53,"endTime":2834.13,"body":"Beautiful."},{"startTime":2834.31,"endTime":2834.7,"body":"Beautiful."},{"startTime":2834.79,"endTime":2838.06,"body":"And we'll have those links on"},{"startTime":2834.79,"endTime":2838.06,"body":"the show notes so that everybody"},{"startTime":2838.06,"endTime":2840.01,"body":"can us to all of it easier."},{"startTime":2840.34,"endTime":2844.69,"body":"So if you're listening to us now, whatever"},{"startTime":2840.34,"endTime":2844.69,"body":"it is that you are, give us a comment"},{"startTime":2844.69,"endTime":2849.1,"body":"if you resonated with something that"},{"startTime":2844.69,"endTime":2849.1,"body":"we talked about and whatever it is and,"},{"startTime":2849.1,"endTime":2854.29,"body":"and your platform, uh, we'd love to know"},{"startTime":2849.1,"endTime":2854.29,"body":"what's your experience with conscious"},{"startTime":2854.29,"endTime":2856.36,"body":"communication, conscious leadership."},{"startTime":2856.54,"endTime":2858.58,"body":"So there us a comment on that and."},{"startTime":2859.415,"endTime":2863.795,"body":"Thank you once again, Jim, for"},{"startTime":2859.415,"endTime":2863.795,"body":"this wonderful sharing, for this"},{"startTime":2863.795,"endTime":2869.134,"body":"conversation and for the work that"},{"startTime":2863.795,"endTime":2869.134,"body":"you're doing because it's so needed."},{"startTime":2869.674,"endTime":2870.424,"body":"You're welcome."},{"startTime":2870.424,"endTime":2870.694,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2870.7,"endTime":2874.595,"body":"Thank you again for having me on, and"},{"startTime":2870.7,"endTime":2874.595,"body":"it was a really lovely conversation."},{"startTime":2874.685,"endTime":2875.734,"body":"That's, That was beautiful."},{"startTime":2875.734,"endTime":2876.275,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":2876.785,"endTime":2877.265,"body":"Beautiful."},{"startTime":2877.27,"endTime":2881.165,"body":"Thank you everyone for listening as well,"},{"startTime":2877.27,"endTime":2881.165,"body":"and we'll see you in the next episode."},{"startTime":2881.5,"endTime":2882.22,"body":"Bye."},{"startTime":2883.84,"endTime":2885.85,"body":"What did you like the"},{"startTime":2883.84,"endTime":2885.85,"body":"most about this episode?"},{"startTime":2886.06,"endTime":2889.57,"body":"Take a moment to think about what"},{"startTime":2886.06,"endTime":2889.57,"body":"change you can make in your life today."},{"startTime":2890.08,"endTime":2894.04,"body":"Share your conscious action on social"},{"startTime":2890.08,"endTime":2894.04,"body":"media using hashtag conscious action"},{"startTime":2894.16,"endTime":2898.45,"body":"and tagging at Conscious Action and"},{"startTime":2894.16,"endTime":2898.45,"body":"said so we can celebrate your impact on"},{"startTime":2898.45,"endTime":2900.16,"body":"the world and create a ripple effect."},{"startTime":2900.625,"endTime":2904.285,"body":"One easy action we would love for"},{"startTime":2900.625,"endTime":2904.285,"body":"you to take right now is to share,"},{"startTime":2904.345,"endTime":2906.444,"body":"like, and subscribe to this podcast."},{"startTime":2906.654,"endTime":2910.225,"body":"This will help us get these messages"},{"startTime":2906.654,"endTime":2910.225,"body":"out into the world and inspire more"},{"startTime":2910.225,"endTime":2913.645,"body":"people to take conscious action"},{"startTime":2910.225,"endTime":2913.645,"body":"in their own lives, contributing"},{"startTime":2913.645,"endTime":2914.904,"body":"to the better world we hope for."}]}