The very streets of Dallas light up with a somber blue, a hue that's become the rallying cry against the night's darkest secret – human trafficking. It was a privilege to have Bianca Davis, CEO of New Friends, New Life, join us to unravel this crisis that casts shadows over our city. With January marking National Human Trafficking Prevention Month, our conversation wove through the brutal realities of the trade, the importance of vigilance, and the powerful legislative milestones that propel our fight forward.
Faced with the chilling statistic of four hundred trafficked teen girls a night in Dallas alone, the magnitude of this issue is staggering. We dug into the subtle yet coercive tactics that traffickers use to ensnare victims, often exploiting the most vulnerable among us. Awareness is our strongest weapon, and this dialogue serves as an urgent call to action for all. It's not just about recognizing the signs; it's about understanding the hidden languages of control and manipulation that traffickers speak.
And it's not only about the victims but also the demand that fuels this black-market industry. Engaging men in the conversation around sex trafficking, through innovative programs like the manKINDness Project, is pivotal in dismantling the societal constructs that allow such exploitation to thrive. In crafting a future free from these chains, we highlighted the vital partnerships between support networks like Genesis and New Friends New Life. Their collaborative efforts not only rescue survivors but also equip them with the tools to rebuild and thrive. Our episode is a clarion call – a plea for engagement and education in the digital age where predators lurk behind screens, targeting our youth. Together, we can turn awareness into action and transform the narrative of human trafficking.
The very streets of Dallas light up with a somber blue, a hue that's become the rallying cry against the night's darkest secret – human trafficking. It was a privilege to have Bianca Davis, CEO of New Friends, New Life, join us to unravel this crisis that casts shadows over our city. With January marking National Human Trafficking Prevention Month, our conversation wove through the brutal realities of the trade, the importance of vigilance, and the powerful legislative milestones that propel our fight forward.
Faced with the chilling statistic of four hundred trafficked teen girls a night in Dallas alone, the magnitude of this issue is staggering. We dug into the subtle yet coercive tactics that traffickers use to ensnare victims, often exploiting the most vulnerable among us. Awareness is our strongest weapon, and this dialogue serves as an urgent call to action for all. It's not just about recognizing the signs; it's about understanding the hidden languages of control and manipulation that traffickers speak.
And it's not only about the victims but also the demand that fuels this black-market industry. Engaging men in the conversation around sex trafficking, through innovative programs like the manKINDness Project, is pivotal in dismantling the societal constructs that allow such exploitation to thrive. In crafting a future free from these chains, we highlighted the vital partnerships between support networks like Genesis and New Friends New Life. Their collaborative efforts not only rescue survivors but also equip them with the tools to rebuild and thrive. Our episode is a clarion call – a plea for engagement and education in the digital age where predators lurk behind screens, targeting our youth. Together, we can turn awareness into action and transform the narrative of human trafficking.
The subject matter of this podcast will address difficult topics multiple forms of violence and identity based discrimination and harassment. We acknowledge that this content may be difficult and have listed specific content warnings in each episode description to help create a positive, safe experience for all listeners.
Speaker 2:In this country, 31 million crimes 31 million crimes are reported every year. That is one every second. Out of that, every 24 minutes there is a murder. Every five minutes there is a rape. Every two to five minutes there is a sexual assault. Every nine seconds in this country, a woman is assaulted by someone who told her that he loved her, by someone who told her it was her fault, by someone who tries to tell the rest of us it's none of our business and I am proud to stand here today with each of you to call that perpetrator a liar.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the podcast on crimes against women. I'm Maria McMullen. January is National Human Trafficking Prevention Month, a presidentially designated observance designed to educate the public about human trafficking and the role they can play in preventing and responding to it. Bianca Davis, ceo of New Friends, new Life, a Dallas based nonprofit with the mission to restore and empower trafficked and sexually exploited teen girls, women and their children, and drive awareness of the issue and its prevalence, joining us for a closer look at how human trafficking is impacting our world and our future. Bianca, welcome to the show. Thank you, it's so great to be here. Thanks for making time for this conversation. I'm sure January is a busy month for you and everyone at New Friends, new Life, as it is National Human Trafficking Prevention Month. But before we get into the specific work you do at New Friends, new Life, let's identify what human trafficking is and the different ways that people are lured into it.
Speaker 3:Yes, well, human trafficking the term is an umbrella term that includes both sex trafficking and labor trafficking. In either instance, it's the use of fourth broad or coercion, to compel someone to either work against their will or commit a commercial sex act. Thankfully, if this person is a minor, you don't have to prove force, fraud or coercion. It's automatically a crime. The thing about human trafficking is it didn't become a federal crime until about 2000. So it took a long time for us to really identify what this crime is, what's happening to, where it's happening, and to get the attention at the federal level to make this an illegal act, although, as you can imagine, it's been happening probably since the beginning of time where people have been using and abusing and exploiting other human beings, sadly so, it is an international crime and prices, but it's also happening locally, and I think that's one of the most important messages, particularly here in the United States, particularly here in Dallas, is that human trafficking isn't just happening to other people in other places, it is happening everywhere, including right here in our own backyard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's for sure. I've talked to a lot of experts on this show about human trafficking and it's prevalent everywhere and of course, Texas ranks second in the country for incidents of human trafficking.
Speaker 1:But I want to go back to something you said, because you referred to the year 2000. And that was the year that the Trafficking Victims Protection Act was launched and I'm looking at the US Department of State website, which mentions that Protection Act and it enshrined the United States commitment to combating human trafficking domestically and internationally. And, to your point, in 2010, by presidential proclamation, president Obama declared January National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month, and every president since then has followed this tradition. Yes, so to those points. It's been more than a decade since the White House designated a national prevention initiative for human trafficking. How has this type of awareness helped the anti human trafficking movement, and is it enough?
Speaker 3:I think it's helped, because anytime you can raise awareness about what this issue looks like, then that's always going to be a plus for the community, because we spend a lot of time for example, your friends, your life has been around for 25 years and you would think in 25 years that that we would be, I think, further along in some of the dispelling of the myths, but still today, even after 25 years, our message is still we're not just looking for white vans in a parking lot.
Speaker 3:You know, we are still dispelling those very basic misconceptions that this is about a kidnapping, that this is about international people, that this is about just a migrant community. There are all of these misconceptions that after so much time we are still working against, and so things like National Human Trafficking Prevention Month really give us the platform and the voice to drill in the message of how it's happening, who it's happening to. So that's really important, but in and of itself it's not going to be enough, right? We need law enforcement support, we need legislative support, we need corporations to be connected, we need parents to understand in every facet of the community. We need that understanding if we're really going to make inroads on the issue.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I just remembered that the color for human trafficking awareness day, which is January 11th, is blue, and your nail polish is blue. Yes, was that intentional?
Speaker 3:It was intentional because of course I don't have enough blue to wear every single day, but I'm like my nails will be blue the entire month.
Speaker 1:Right, well, it's perfect. And you were telling me about how you're working with the city to do something special that day. What are you doing with the city of Dallas for January 11th?
Speaker 3:Yes, so we're in conversations with the city of Dallas to turn the skyline blue on the evening of January 11th. It's just another way to keep this issue top of mind. As I mentioned, none of these tactics or initiatives in and of themselves will make the difference, but combined they help to move the needle. So we are really excited about the commitment made by the city. As you mentioned, texas ranks second in the nation and Dallas ranks second in the state, and so we are so proud of the commitment by the city of Dallas, by law enforcement, by our legislative leaders, to really tackle this issue, because, although it's a big problem here, we are doing a lot of work against it. So that's encouraging.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about that. Let's really zero in on Dallas, which is the market that you work in and that I work in as well. How pervasive is human trafficking in Dallas? And we would get into some of the numbers.
Speaker 3:Yes, well, we know. There was a study that was done by the University of Texas several years ago. That said, on any given night, there are an estimated four hundred teen girls who were trafficked on the streets of Dallas. That's in just in our city alone. You can multiply that exponentially because so many people don't identify as being trafficking victims. If you are a 15-year-old girl which, by the way, is the average age that a girl is trafficked in the United States it's just 15 years old. If you're 15 years old and you're in a trafficking situation, what that's going to look like is you probably are with a boyfriend. You are with a partner who you think loves and cares about you, who is saying things like if you can just do this to help us take this trip that we all always wanted to take, or if he has coerced her because maybe she has sent him pictures of herself in the nude and now this is his payback to her.
Speaker 3:If you don't do this, I'm sending these photos to your pastor, to your parents, to the principal. In her mind, that's the absolute worst thing that can happen. But she's not going to identify with this being a trafficking situation. She may not even understand what that term means. That's why, when you look at the numbers, you're like yeah, it says four hundred, but you can probably expand that number, because people don't even realize that this is what's happening.
Speaker 1:Four hundred still sounds like a lot to me, that number in and of itself. When I heard it I think I heard that number a couple of months ago for the first time, or maybe a year ago for the first time I thought how is it possible that four hundred teen girls are out every night being lured into situations that are very dangerous? How is that possible?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's devastating and to your point, any girl, any number is too high, and four hundred is a scary number. But I think one of the things that makes the trafficking industry work is how subtly it happens. So she may be a runaway, because we know that 48 hours after a girl runs away, she's going to be approached by someone. Traffickers are master manipulators. They're looking for the girl who's out of place. They're looking for the girl who should be in school but she's at the mall, or should be at home, but she's somewhere else. And he's going to approach her or send someone to approach her. He may send another girl, which is also terrifying, because how do you fortify someone against someone who looks like she could be a peer or could be a friend? So he's going to send someone that says I can help you, it's cold tonight, or you did this horrible thing by running away and your parents are never going to accept you back, so he may as well come with me, like whatever the lure or the lie is. So that's one way it happens is because she might have been a runaway or she might be running away. A lot of times what we see is, when she's running away, she's running away from something that's happening at home. So maybe the mother has an abusive boyfriend or her dad is abusive. There's something happening in that environment that says out there is better than in here. So that's a whole other issue. But the other way it's happening is she may be coming home every single night because the grooming is happening online, because she thinks she has met this person through her Facebook or through her Instagram account who thinks she's beautiful and is looking for models in Houston, whatever that story is. So she's coming home every night, but she's just meeting up with this person who is little by little luring her into the life. And so you could be a parent and have a daughter at home who is being trafficked, but who is coming home to you every single night and have no idea. So that's why it's happening, because it's happening right under our noses so subtly.
Speaker 3:There aren't many. There are. There can be some outward signs, but there don't have to be. Some of those outward signs are is she showing up with money that you didn't give her, or does she have clothing that you didn't purchase for her? Does she have jewelry or does she have purses? She may have bruises. Initially, there might be that physical abuse portion to it. She may have tattoos, because sometimes the girls are branded, but the newer form of this branding is now jewelry pieces that have the initials or the name of the trafficker in it. So she's wearing a necklace with a charm or a bracelet with a charm that has this person's initial or name. So you have to be on the lookout for anything that's out of place. Is she being withdrawn? Does she seem depressed? Does she have older friends that you don't know? Is she spending an inordinate amount of time on social media which, I mean, isn't that everyone? At this point, those are some of the signs that she could be in trouble.
Speaker 1:So you mentioned 15 year old girls being a prime target, at least in this market. What other demographics are targeted for human trafficking?
Speaker 3:Well, we know that it can happen to anyone at any time, but there are groups that are more susceptible to your question, and it tends to be minorities. So black girls are more susceptible to becoming trafficking victims, and that's normally because there are the other socioeconomic issues tied to it, so they have a higher chance of maybe being living in poverty or being exposed to domestic violence or having lack of access to education. All of these cracks in the foundation make her so susceptible to the person who says I can help you, I can fix this for you. So if there are groups that are marginalized in other ways, those groups are prime targets to becoming victims of trafficking. And we also have stories of people who have grown up in the pristine environments and the perfect home with the picket fence, and they have still run into someone who made them feel special or filled some type of void in her life, and she too has become became a victim of that crime.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and a few minutes ago you mentioned one of the oldest poises. You're so beautiful, you could be a model. And I can connect you to a modeling agency or acting coach, or you want to be a singer, I can connect you to a talent agent and so on. That has been around for a really long time. I can't even believe that it still works.
Speaker 3:You know, I think it goes back to the fundamental needs that we have as human beings. You may remember, like Maslow's, hierarchy of needs from your school days, but at the base of it, you know, of course, it's food, water, shelter. The next step is like love and belonging. We all want to be noticed, chosen, made to feel special, and so things like being bullied or not feeling like you're enough, or that you don't live up to your parents' expectations, all of these very subtle emotional, mental challenges that every teenager likely experiences, those are the things that can be exploited.
Speaker 1:And 15 years old. That age group right there where they're really just trying to figure out like who am I and what am I doing here, is incredibly vulnerable in and of itself.
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely. And, as you may know, your frontal lobe isn't developed literally. You do not have that part of your brain that helps you make other decisions. And so I say once again that traffickers are unusually brilliant, like they are just manipulative and they are looking and waiting for the perfect time, the perfect opportunity, the perfect victim, and they show up like a knight in shining armor, which is very much the case.
Speaker 3:You know, there's so much similarity between victims of sex trafficking and victims of domestic violence, for example. You know there is that need to be made to feel safe, wanting to belong and having someone just split that switch on you. You know, when you're in a domestically violent relationship, it normally doesn't start out that way. It starts out like everything's fine, he's the man of my dreams. This is a perfect situation. It's very similar for the trafficking victim that he shows up as a really good guy who loves you, who's going to take care of you, who's helping you fill a need, and then he flips the switch and at that point she feels like she is in too deep. Where is she going to go? How is she going to get out of that?
Speaker 3:There are the financial tethers for adults who are women who are victims of trafficking. This is all they know. And then they end up with a criminal record, because now you're picked up for prostitution, because that's also illegal, and so you're both perpetrator and victim at the same time. And how do you then get out of that cycle? With a criminal record, limited education and no financial resources. So it becomes a very vicious, vicious cycle for survivors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there are agencies now that really shine a light on that aspect of it like. New Friends who Life the Jensen Project here in Dallas as well, and others who talk about like these are not women who chose to be sex workers. These are people who were forced into a life, into a labor market, and I want to talk about that market. What is fueling the sex trade market that's requiring so many girls to be trafficked into it?
Speaker 3:The buyer. The buyer is the driver of the sex trade, and what's scary about that is the average buyer is you know? I saw a statistic that said that the average buyer is a 45-year-old male and about 66% of the time he's married. These are literally everyday guys the attorney, the pastor, the physician, the football coach everyday men who are fueling the sex industry. Without the buyer, sex trafficking goes away.
Speaker 3:There's a documentary out called Buying Her that looks at it from the perspective of the buyer, so the John. It interviews about five or six men and they tell their story about why they do it and how they got away with it and what it cost them in the end. It cost them their marriages, it cost them their career. All of that. And at the end of the documentary it says that American men are the number one purchasers, consumers, of commercial sex in the world and that an estimated 13% of men, american men, have bought sex and that equals 17 million men. So 17 million men in this country have gone down this route of purchasing another human being to commit commercial sex ads. And that's what's fueling the industry. If we can shift the buyer behavior, this industry collapses and goes away.
Speaker 1:So to those points previously on the show I spoke with someone about the man kindness project and listeners can go back to our 2023 podcast season and find that conversation. But today give us an idea about that initiative and how it can help reduce human trafficking and violence against women for the next generation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's so important because if we know that men are Driving the industry as buyers and that most traffickers are also men, then if we're going to end this or make it impact, we have to engage our men and so at new friends, do life. We created the man kindness curriculum, which is designed for basically high school teenage boys and college boy men as well, young men as well, but it really talks about the issue and frames it in an age-appropriate manner, because what we know is Someone doesn't wake up one day at 45 years old and purchases a human being like what are all the many steps before that that make that okay? So we can talk to a 15 year old boy about healthy Relationships. And how do you see your girl Especially? You know if she likes you or especially if she breaks up with you. How do you frame that in your mind? What do you call her, how do you view her? Then we're hoping that we can shift and reduce that objectification that happens.
Speaker 3:There was an article that talked about a buyer who said that he Particularly chooses women and girls who don't look like his wife and daughters right?
Speaker 3:So there is this separation and objectification that has to happen for you to even feel like this is okay.
Speaker 3:So we can help young boys See women and girls differently, see themselves in the picture differently not to shame them or chastise them, but to say, hey, you have a chance to shape how this whole interaction happens in the future, and doing it in an age-appropriate Manor, then that gives us so much hope that we can shift the culture and shift the conversation. And so the mankind is. Curriculum is delivered by men who are a part of our men's advocacy group, because it's important that men share that Message. And they go into high schools and talk to the football team and the basketball team and the kiddos sign a pledge at the end of the day about how they're going to treat their moms and their sisters and their Girlfriends or partners. And it's really the part that gives me the most hope on this issue Is that we aren't just drinking from a fire hose, but that we're going upstream and saying how can we create a different world, a different mindset To reduce the victimization, because men and the buyers are really driving the industry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's critical Right. I mean the by engaging our youngest Citizens in these issues, things that are happening to them, things they are victims of or susceptible to, is the only way that we're going to change that mindset. And I Just reflecting on what I learned about the mankind as project, it really does seek to turn the tide on Patriarchy. Yes, and I love that idea. I mean, let's smash it. Let's smash the patriarchy. Is it Wednesday? I think this smash.
Speaker 3:Certainly and it really speaks like none of these issues happen in a silo, right. They don't just happen on their own. They're tied to everything else. If you look at Domestic violence, if you look at sexual assault, if you look at child abuse, if you look at sex trafficking, it's all tied to other things, but the common core tends to be what is a relate? What role do men play in all of these issues? You know, and that's such an Interesting and important piece of it is that if we can connect with our men, then we can address so many of these issues Simultaneously that simultaneously, because they're all linked and they all affect us.
Speaker 1:Even if we ourselves are not survivors or Someone that we love is not involved in a trafficking situation, the impacts of these affect all of us, certainly. Yeah. So New Friends, new Life also partners with the Conference on Crimes Against Women to provide education about human trafficking for professionals around the world. Tell us about that work and the plan for human trafficking education at the 2024 conference.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So we are so excited about this partnership with the Conference on Crimes Against Women and although at New Friends, new Life we serve survivors of sex trafficking, we also know that labor trafficking is a critical piece of the human trafficking puzzle as well, and so we saw the experts and the speakers to come in and provide the training on both the labor trafficking and the sex trafficking side, and I think it's so important because we all sit on the same spectrum.
Speaker 3:It's just a continuum when you come, when you speak about violence against women. So whether you are talking about domestic violence or sex trafficking or sexual assault, it's all affecting women and girls disproportionately. So it's important, when we're bringing together law enforcement and advocates and attorneys, that we have the opportunity to address all of these issues in the same space to the same people that are fighting against it and are seeing it firsthand. So we're excited to be able to provide the human trafficking content around the conference. This is going to be our second year in this capacity. One of the things that we offer is also a site visit to our location at New Friends, new Life to see what a trauma-formed anti-trafficking setting looks like, and that has been so popular amongst the visitors that have come in for the conference. So we're hoping to be able to provide that tour again and really talk through the best practices of our programming.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the feedback from that site visit and all of the education about human trafficking from the 2023 conference was really good and really compelling, and I'm so grateful that we get to work with New Friends, new Life and you and learn from each other. Now you also partner with Genesis, women's Shelter and support and other related organizations to reduce human trafficking and crimes against women. Tell us about that work.
Speaker 3:Yes. So what we see is a majority of our women are also victims of domestic violence. So when they come to our office, a survivor put it this way. I'll never forget how she phrase it. She said by the time someone's trafficked, that's not the first bad thing that's happened to them, and we see that all the time. So they come in and they have been strangled by their partner, they have been physically abused, they've been emotionally abused, and so that partnership or that relationship between the expertise provided at Genesis really fits in with the services that we provide at New Friends, new Life. So we can help them with their counseling needs and their case management needs and their economic empowerment needs. But one of the things that we do not currently have yet is residential support. So if someone comes to us and they're also they've been experiencing domestic violence and need shelter and transitional housing, we partner with Genesis on providing that service. So it's a really comprehensive network of support. That really speaks to how similarly those issues intersect.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, yeah, it's critical that we can refer our survivors to each other and to other partners across the county and the state.
Speaker 3:Over the last few years, we have identified for what I call our agency Big Rocks. These are the driving initiatives that really help us to propel our mission forward and that lead us through our strategic plan. One of the one of them is legal support, which we are well on our way with. We understand that 70% of our women have a criminal record because of what they were forced to do while they were being trafficked, and so if we're going to remove barriers, that's a big one. So a year ago, we hired an on-site attorney, we recently hired a paralegal, so we officially have a legal advocacy clinic that has seen over 75 cases in its first year.
Speaker 3:Another block or rock that we've identified is education. So many of our women don't have a GED, haven't finished high school. How are they really going to even get to the level playing field of the bottom right without education? And so we are in the process of designing our learning academy where we can hire an on-site GED instructor to help prepare our women for that. The third rock that we've identified is employment. We know that that's a huge barrier for her.
Speaker 3:Earlier this year we partnered with the Meadows Foundation, which is a huge and very significant foundation here in the Texas area They've been around for 75 years and we partnered with Bonton Farms, which is an urban farming initiative here in Dallas as well, to open Liberty Street Garden. So New Friends, new Life, bonton Farms and the Meadows Foundation partnered on a social enterprise initiative called Liberty Street Garden, where we are growing produce and all of that. But the key is our women who come in for programs are able to work in the garden. So they get income, they get expertise in training. It's just a pipeline and a bridge to external employment. So we're addressing that.
Speaker 3:And then the fourth rock is housing. Housing, affordable housing is such an issue across Dallas. If you put the issue of sex trafficking and the trauma and the criminal record and all of that on top of that, our women have very limited options for a safe place. Right now we are partnering with other agencies, like Genesis, for short emergency housing or transitional housing, but it is so critical that, as an entity, we have housing options. So that's the next rock that we're tackling looking at how we can provide and open trafficking specific beds for survivors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those are excellent initiatives, I think, to really try to break down the barriers related to people coming out of trafficking situations. What role can parents, educators, coaches and other adults who work with teens play in the awareness and prevention of human trafficking? And also, how can they help kids that they know or suspect are being trafficked, but they're not open with them about it?
Speaker 3:We have a very simple message to parents that it's really just two things. I think if parents can do these two things, it would go such a long way in the prevention of the issue with teens. And the first thing is, I say, simple but not easy, right? So there's a difference. It's simple but it's not easy to do. We have to, as parents, be aware of what's happening online. Online grooming is like the fastest growing way that traffickers are engaging with their victims, so you have to know who they're talking to, who they're communicating with, and teach them that you think it's another 15-year-old boy who lives in Arkansas? That's not even who this is.
Speaker 3:There was a story right around the time of the shutdown. There was a middle school history teacher in New York State who was having an online conversation for like three months with a 14-year-old girl in Tampa, florida, and he flew from New York to Tampa, got that little girl to leave her parents home, met him at a hotel, he assaulted her. Thankfully, she went back home and finally told her parents this is what happened to me, but they had absolutely no idea that their baby girl was being groomed online. So the online conversations that are happening is like the easiest way and the most the fastest growing way that traffickers are engaging with teams, and so, as a parent, you just have to put those protocols in place, even if you're monitoring or controlling how long they're online or what sites they're able to access. It may seem like tough love, but it literally can save their lives and save their futures. So that's the first step getting involved in the online communication. And the second thing is creating an environment where that child knows that there's absolutely nothing they can do. That would make you, as a parent, turn your back on them, because the trafficker is banking on that. The trafficker is banking on that child thinking because I sent the picture, or because I ran away, or because I, you know, fill in the blank that I will never be forgiven, accepted or received by my parents, all hope is lost, I'm out of here. So if the parent can strengthen and keep those lines of communication open, that child knows, like, no matter what danger I get into, no matter what silly mistake I made, no matter what I've done, home is a safe place, then that takes so much power away from the trafficker. And, as I mentioned those two things, they're simple but they're absolutely not easy. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to build that type of communication. It takes their entire teenage years to create that environment.
Speaker 3:But those are some of the things that parents can do in advance to fortify them against this person who was looking for the loophole. He is looking for the lack. He's looking for the need. He's looking for the girl that goes online and says I hate my parents, they don't understand me, they grounded me again. You know, if she's sharing that type of information, he's going to have a solution for her. He's going to be like you know what? They don't understand you and they're just mad because blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden this online relationship starts and then she meets up with him and that's when it all goes downhill.
Speaker 3:We did an internal study of our girls. We see about 100 girls a year in between the ages of 12 and 22. And thankfully, many of them have not been trafficked, but they're showing those vulnerabilities. So maybe they have come from backgrounds of poverty, or maybe they have experienced childhood sexual abuse or they're in the foster care system. So we know that they're at risk. But we do an intake and we look at our numbers every year and about 60% of our girls have met up with strangers that they met online, like that is if we can stop the meet up from happening, then we've done our jobs. You know that is such a critical point and in many cases by the time that happens, it's too late. Now she's engaged in a new way and she's on that path, and so getting involved in the online conversation and then keeping that line of communication open between parent and child are two of the steps that we know are game changers, and we also know how difficult it is to do both of those things.
Speaker 1:And to those points. Educators, coaches, people who work with teens can all reinforce those ideas. It's super simple to kind of just remind kids what's appropriate and what is not appropriate for them to interact with online that they don't know.
Speaker 3:And you know the other side of that. There was such a cool. There's a viral video going around that is so heartwarming and it's about two moms who had their. Their sons were gamers. I can't remember they were in different states, but they had them meet for the first time. They had been gaming and communicating online for like three years and they met for the first time and they were both so surprised, so the moms arranged it. The boys didn't know.
Speaker 3:But, I thought about that interaction and I'm like show, the level of interest and knowledge that those moms had to have had about who their sons were talking to is what made that moment possible. So it can also be for good ways. You know, we know that technology connects us and it's a part of our lives. It doesn't have to be all bad, but it's just engaging enough to know like, oh, that's another eight year old boy in New Mexico. They should meet. You know, as opposed to who is this 45 year old man in New York state?
Speaker 1:Yeah, talking to my daughter. Yeah, totally. And there's another way that I think this works as well is people grooming young men to have really sexist opinions and views of women through online just online communication and images and talking about women in certain ways. And so there's the side of being trafficked, but there's also the side of creating or really pushing the same culture of patriarchy and the objectification of women, even within the video games.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, the violence, the objectification in video games. And we can have a whole other conversation about music and videos and the glamorizing, the glamorization of that lifestyle, you know, of the woman who looks like she's in charge and she's in control of her body and she's making everyone swoon over her. You know that makes it look like, oh, that's something positive or that's something that I would want to engage in. But everyone who walks through our doors we see 350 women and girls every single year. Not one woman has said that's what I wanted for my life. Not one woman has come to us and said this is what I had in mind.
Speaker 3:Everyone's here because she's coming with pieces of her life with her, everything that's left over from all of the damage and all of the trauma, and she's saying are you for me or not? Are you going to disappoint me like everyone else? Are you going to lie like everyone else? Are you going to judge me like everyone else? Or are you going to see that I didn't want this for my life and so it's so different from what you see in the media or in the movies or on the videos or in the video games? That's not what this life is. It breaks. People are coming with pieces of their lives with them, not this full picture success story model thing that you see online, and it's hard for a child to differentiate between that. So you're right, getting involved in the gaming and in how we are producing content that reinforces this lie that this is fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. Now I want to give you a second to, because we've talked a lot about survivors, but I want to give you a second to speak directly to survivors who might be listening, or to love ones of survivors who might be listening. What would you want them to know and where can you direct them for support?
Speaker 3:Well, I would say to a survivor or to a loved one my first message is that we see you, that we hear you, that you are not being Judged for any of this, that we know that this was not a choice and that this isn't what you want for your life, and that you deserve the life of your dreams, and that there is an entire city and an entire community who's rooting for you. You know, we spend our lives every day trying to figure out how to make your life better, how to clear the path for you to live the life of your dreams, and so, if you are local to the Dallas area, I would say reach out to us At new friends to life. You can visit our website, new friends to life org. You can call us at 214 965 0 935 and just reach out for help locally. We are here to help you and to support you. And I would say the same thing to parents. You can call our youth resource center line at the same line 214 965 0 935 and just tell us what's going on, tell us what your concerns are. We have a caregiver support group, so these are for parents or caregivers of teens who are in trouble or who have been trafficked or who are vulnerable. We can help you. We can walk you through what you can do and what you can look out for, and you are not alone. There are so many other people who have the same fears and concerns, and so help is available to you.
Speaker 3:And I will say that, if you are not local to the Dallas area, if you're anywhere else in the country listening to this message and you want help, you can reach out to the National Human Trafficking hotline. The website is human trafficking hotline org. Or they have a an a phone number. It's 1-888-373-7888. That's available 24 hours a day. But I just want people to know that this is an issue that the entire Country, that the city of Dallas, that communities all over are paying attention to, and we are rooting for survivors and we are working to make sure that perpetrators are held accountable for this crime, because it is a crime. It's illegal yes, it is. I think people forget that. People forget that this is a crime indeed, Bianca.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for talking with me today. I will see you in May at the conference on crimes against women.
Speaker 3:I cannot wait so great to be here. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thanks so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe. Registration for the 2024 conference on crimes against women is now available. The 2024 conference will be held in Dallas, texas, at the Sheraton Dallas May 20th through the 23rd. Visit our website at conferencecaworg to learn more and register today, and follow us on social media at national CCAW for updates about the conference, featured events, presenters and more.