{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.0,"endTime":0.42,"body":"Kristen"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":5.46,"endTime":7.56,"body":"daukas, welcome"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":5.46,"endTime":7.56,"body":"to Conversations on the rocks,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":7.56,"endTime":10.38,"body":"the podcast where the drink is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":7.56,"endTime":10.38,"body":"strong and the stories are"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":10.38,"endTime":13.68,"body":"stronger. I'm your host, Kristen"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":10.38,"endTime":13.68,"body":"daukas, and this isn't your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":13.68,"endTime":17.34,"body":"average chat fest. Here. Real"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":13.68,"endTime":17.34,"body":"people spill the tea alongside"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":17.34,"endTime":19.56,"body":"their favorite drinks, from the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":17.34,"endTime":19.56,"body":"hilarious to the heart"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":19.56,"endTime":24.26,"body":"wrenching, each episode a wild"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":19.56,"endTime":24.26,"body":"card. You'll laugh, you may cry,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":24.32,"endTime":27.68,"body":"but you'll definitely learn"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":24.32,"endTime":27.68,"body":"something new. So grab whatever,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":27.68,"endTime":30.74,"body":"what's your whistle and buckle"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":27.68,"endTime":30.74,"body":"up. It's time to dive into the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":30.74,"endTime":34.28,"body":"raw, the real and the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":30.74,"endTime":34.28,"body":"ridiculously human. Let's get"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":34.28,"endTime":40.1,"body":"this chat party started. Hey"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":34.28,"endTime":40.1,"body":"everybody, it's Kristen daukas."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":40.16,"endTime":43.3,"body":"You are tuning in to the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":40.16,"endTime":43.3,"body":"conversations on the rocks"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":43.3,"endTime":47.86,"body":"Podcast, the podcast that is as"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":43.3,"endTime":47.86,"body":"random as I can be, but I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":47.92,"endTime":52.12,"body":"super excited because I have a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":47.92,"endTime":52.12,"body":"really famous person with me,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":52.24,"endTime":55.48,"body":"and she's not just famous, but"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":52.24,"endTime":55.48,"body":"she's like a good friend of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":55.48,"endTime":60.42,"body":"mine, and it's Miss Blanca Cobb."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":55.48,"endTime":60.42,"body":"And without further ado, I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":60.42,"endTime":63.72,"body":"gonna let her introduce herself,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":60.42,"endTime":63.72,"body":"because she does it with such"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":63.72,"endTime":67.56,"body":"flair and finesse. Hello, my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":63.72,"endTime":67.56,"body":"dear, Blanca."},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":68.4,"endTime":70.62,"body":"Oh, hello, Kristen."},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":68.4,"endTime":70.62,"body":"It's such a pleasure to be on"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":70.62,"endTime":75.36,"body":"your podcast again. Again."},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":70.62,"endTime":75.36,"body":"That's right. So everybody who"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":75.36,"endTime":78.78,"body":"is listening, I'm Blanca Cobb,"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":75.36,"endTime":78.78,"body":"and I'm a body language expert,"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":78.78,"endTime":82.76,"body":"and have a master's degree in"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":78.78,"endTime":82.76,"body":"psychology. So if you can"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":83.12,"endTime":87.2,"body":"envision like a modern day Dear"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":83.12,"endTime":87.2,"body":"Abby with a little hint or twist"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":87.2,"endTime":92.48,"body":"of Dr Phil, that's me. I give a"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":87.2,"endTime":92.48,"body":"lot of advice on television. I"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":92.48,"endTime":95.84,"body":"work for a CBS affiliate in"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":92.48,"endTime":95.84,"body":"Greensboro, North Carolina. I've"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":95.84,"endTime":100.22,"body":"been on huge shows, like the"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":95.84,"endTime":100.22,"body":"Today Show, Dr Drew, Dr Oz,"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":100.22,"endTime":103.66,"body":"Megyn Kelly today the Steve"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":100.22,"endTime":103.66,"body":"Harvey Show, and I've been"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":103.66,"endTime":107.92,"body":"quoted in magazines around the"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":103.66,"endTime":107.92,"body":"world for my expertise. So I"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":107.92,"endTime":110.14,"body":"love to talk about"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":107.92,"endTime":110.14,"body":"relationships. I think"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":110.5,"endTime":115.3,"body":"relationships, I mean, it's it's"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":110.5,"endTime":115.3,"body":"what we need, and it's part of"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":115.3,"endTime":118.54,"body":"who we are, it's part of what we"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":115.3,"endTime":118.54,"body":"seek out, and we're always"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":118.54,"endTime":121.02,"body":"trying to figure out how to make"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":118.54,"endTime":121.02,"body":"it better. Is this the right"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":121.02,"endTime":126.36,"body":"person? How can I be happier?"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":121.02,"endTime":126.36,"body":"And that's my passion. And"},{"speaker":"Blanca Cobb","startTime":126.6,"endTime":127.2,"body":"specifically,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":127.2,"endTime":129.06,"body":"we're going to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":127.2,"endTime":129.06,"body":"talk about relationships and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":129.06,"endTime":132.78,"body":"body language. And you know how"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":129.06,"endTime":132.78,"body":"that can incorporate to it,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":132.78,"endTime":135.66,"body":"because you're right,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":132.78,"endTime":135.66,"body":"relationships are so important,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":135.72,"endTime":141.2,"body":"and we're not meant to be by"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":135.72,"endTime":141.2,"body":"ourselves, right? And no the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":141.56,"endTime":146.24,"body":"communication in a relationship"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":141.56,"endTime":146.24,"body":"is so so important that if you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":146.24,"endTime":149.9,"body":"don't have that, and it can,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":146.24,"endTime":149.9,"body":"it's always kind of, I don't say"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":149.9,"endTime":152.84,"body":"stunned me, because I've been"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":149.9,"endTime":152.84,"body":"there before doing what I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":152.84,"endTime":156.02,"body":"getting ready to say is that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":152.84,"endTime":156.02,"body":"people are so afraid to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":156.02,"endTime":160.16,"body":"communicate, but they're so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":156.02,"endTime":160.16,"body":"afraid they're going to lose"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":160.16,"endTime":163.12,"body":"their relationship, and the two"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":160.16,"endTime":163.12,"body":"of them go hand in hand, like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":163.12,"endTime":165.64,"body":"if you don't communicate, it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":163.12,"endTime":165.64,"body":"kind of, you know, it's a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":165.64,"endTime":168.7,"body":"snowball effect. Why do you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":165.64,"endTime":168.7,"body":"think people are so afraid to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":168.7,"endTime":171.64,"body":"communicate within their"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":168.7,"endTime":171.64,"body":"relationships, both verbally and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":171.64,"endTime":174.22,"body":"non verbally, but we'll get to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":171.64,"endTime":174.22,"body":"the non verbal part. But just in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":174.22,"endTime":178.6,"body":"your experience, why are humans"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":174.22,"endTime":178.6,"body":"so afraid to talk about their"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":178.6,"endTime":179.5,"body":"emotions? Many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":179.68,"endTime":182.16,"body":"times you're afraid to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":179.68,"endTime":182.16,"body":"talk about your emotions or tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":182.16,"endTime":184.2,"body":"your partner how you feel,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":182.16,"endTime":184.2,"body":"because you don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.2,"endTime":186.78,"body":"judged, you don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":184.2,"endTime":186.78,"body":"criticized and you don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":186.78,"endTime":190.44,"body":"be in invalidated meaning. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":186.78,"endTime":190.44,"body":"they don't see the situation the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":190.44,"endTime":195.36,"body":"same way as you do, then it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":190.44,"endTime":195.36,"body":"could be like, what's your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":195.36,"endTime":197.88,"body":"point? Why are you even talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":195.36,"endTime":197.88,"body":"about this? I don't see this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.24,"endTime":201.86,"body":"again. It goes down to being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.24,"endTime":201.86,"body":"criticized and judged and not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":201.86,"endTime":204.86,"body":"validated, and people would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":201.86,"endTime":204.86,"body":"rather be quiet or start a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.86,"endTime":207.26,"body":"problem. They don't want a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.86,"endTime":207.26,"body":"problem, and so they'll think,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":207.26,"endTime":209.72,"body":"Do I really need to mention"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":207.26,"endTime":209.72,"body":"this? Maybe I don't. But what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":209.72,"endTime":213.02,"body":"happens when you don't talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":209.72,"endTime":213.02,"body":"about it? It builds up, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":213.02,"endTime":216.02,"body":"festers inside of you, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":213.02,"endTime":216.02,"body":"And then something small and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":216.02,"endTime":220.04,"body":"trivial blows up like a volcano,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":216.02,"endTime":220.04,"body":"erupts like a volcano,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":220.04,"endTime":220.72,"body":"absolutely,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":220.78,"endTime":226.3,"body":"at some point,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":220.78,"endTime":226.3,"body":"powder keg. Yeah, so let's talk"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":226.3,"endTime":229.06,"body":"a little bit. Let's kind of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":226.3,"endTime":229.06,"body":"segue into some of the body"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":229.06,"endTime":233.5,"body":"language pieces of it in your in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":229.06,"endTime":233.5,"body":"your experience and in your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":233.56,"endTime":237.28,"body":"expertise. What are some of the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":233.56,"endTime":237.28,"body":"common body language cues that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":237.28,"endTime":241.14,"body":"people can often misinterpret in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":237.28,"endTime":241.14,"body":"conflicts, and how can they"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":241.14,"endTime":242.76,"body":"avoid those misunderstandings?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":243.06,"endTime":246.9,"body":"Sometimes, when a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":243.06,"endTime":246.9,"body":"partner looks away, someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":246.9,"endTime":248.88,"body":"might think you're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":246.9,"endTime":248.88,"body":"interested in what I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":248.88,"endTime":252.36,"body":"say. You're not invested in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":248.88,"endTime":252.36,"body":"this. You're blowing me off when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":252.36,"endTime":256.68,"body":"it could be that looking away,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":252.36,"endTime":256.68,"body":"turning away allows someone to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":256.68,"endTime":259.92,"body":"think for a minute. 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Another one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.58,"endTime":280.6,"body":"is when someone pulls back, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":280.6,"endTime":284.14,"body":"physically take a step back."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":280.6,"endTime":284.14,"body":"Sometimes they're not doing it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.14,"endTime":287.92,"body":"because they want to disengage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.14,"endTime":287.92,"body":"from you. Sometimes, again, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":287.92,"endTime":291.16,"body":"like turning their face away,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":287.92,"endTime":291.16,"body":"breaking eye contact. They need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":291.16,"endTime":295.42,"body":"a second. It's too much. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":291.16,"endTime":295.42,"body":"too much energy. It could be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":295.42,"endTime":299.92,"body":"negative energy that they need a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":295.42,"endTime":299.92,"body":"minute just to, just to the."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.84,"body":"Breathe, if you will, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.0,"endTime":303.84,"body":"collect themselves. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":303.84,"endTime":307.56,"body":"sometimes they need that space,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":303.84,"endTime":307.56,"body":"not because they don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":307.56,"endTime":310.5,"body":"engage with you, it's because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":307.56,"endTime":310.5,"body":"they need a few seconds to calm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":310.5,"endTime":313.8,"body":"down. So this physical space"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":310.5,"endTime":313.8,"body":"actually turns into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":313.8,"endTime":319.14,"body":"psychological space as well. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":313.8,"endTime":319.14,"body":"then tone of voice is another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":319.14,"endTime":322.4,"body":"big one. People will hear a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":319.14,"endTime":322.4,"body":"certain tone of voice and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.4,"endTime":325.28,"body":"they'll be like, Why are you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.4,"endTime":325.28,"body":"getting snippy with me? Why are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":325.28,"endTime":326.3,"body":"you getting mad? Why"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":326.3,"endTime":326.96,"body":"are you yelling?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.92,"endTime":330.2,"body":"That's right. 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And what it could be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":343.84,"endTime":348.58,"body":"is that someone when, when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":343.84,"endTime":348.58,"body":"get excited, and it could be not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":348.58,"endTime":352.0,"body":"a happy excitement in terms of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":348.58,"endTime":352.0,"body":"arguments or disagreements, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":352.0,"endTime":355.66,"body":"could be an angry excited."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":352.0,"endTime":355.66,"body":"Sometimes people don't realize"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":355.72,"endTime":361.2,"body":"how much their tone goes up, how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":355.72,"endTime":361.2,"body":"much it changes. So sometimes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.2,"endTime":363.9,"body":"if you could just say, hey, love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.2,"endTime":363.9,"body":"I don't know if you realize it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.9,"endTime":366.48,"body":"but it sounds like you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.9,"endTime":366.48,"body":"yelling right now, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":366.48,"endTime":368.82,"body":"different if you talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":366.48,"endTime":368.82,"body":"somebody that way, instead of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":368.82,"endTime":372.24,"body":"pipe it down, why are you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":368.82,"endTime":372.24,"body":"yelling at me? Like that's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":372.24,"endTime":375.24,"body":"going to get you anywhere? That"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":372.24,"endTime":375.24,"body":"does adding fuel to the fire."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":375.24,"endTime":377.1,"body":"I've never had"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":375.24,"endTime":377.1,"body":"that experience before in my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":377.1,"endTime":379.74,"body":"entire life. Why are you going?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":377.1,"endTime":379.74,"body":"I'm not yelling. 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If it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":413.38,"endTime":416.74,"body":"something really serious and I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":413.38,"endTime":416.74,"body":"don't want to talk about it, I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":416.74,"endTime":419.2,"body":"not talking about it. And it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":416.74,"endTime":419.2,"body":"not because I don't want to talk"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":419.2,"endTime":422.82,"body":"about it. It's because I need to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":419.2,"endTime":422.82,"body":"get my thoughts together. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":422.82,"endTime":428.28,"body":"I've had, you know, in my past"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":422.82,"endTime":428.28,"body":"where I have a child that is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":428.28,"endTime":430.92,"body":"this way too, that when there's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":428.28,"endTime":430.92,"body":"something going on, no, we're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":430.92,"endTime":434.94,"body":"gonna talk about it. We're gonna"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":430.92,"endTime":434.94,"body":"talk about it now and then that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":434.94,"endTime":439.14,"body":"just that's a whole other powder"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":434.94,"endTime":439.14,"body":"keg waiting to go off too,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":439.14,"endTime":443.36,"body":"because it's like, I can't, if I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":439.14,"endTime":443.36,"body":"can't process it, I'm not going."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":443.36,"endTime":445.94,"body":"It's not going to be an"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":443.36,"endTime":445.94,"body":"effective conversation,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":446.0,"endTime":450.32,"body":"regardless of what the end is."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":446.0,"endTime":450.32,"body":"Good point. So you got to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":450.32,"endTime":453.44,"body":"remember that everybody's a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":450.32,"endTime":453.44,"body":"little bit different. So are"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":453.44,"endTime":457.58,"body":"there any if, let's say we're in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":453.44,"endTime":457.58,"body":"a we're in a heated argument,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":457.58,"endTime":461.74,"body":"right? Is there anything that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":457.58,"endTime":461.74,"body":"you what kind of body language"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":461.74,"endTime":465.58,"body":"would you recommend that or that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":461.74,"endTime":465.58,"body":"you have seen be effective to de"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":465.58,"endTime":466.84,"body":"escalate something,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.12,"endTime":473.02,"body":"you have to do an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":469.12,"endTime":473.02,"body":"internal or external check on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":473.02,"endTime":477.82,"body":"yourself. So internally means"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":473.02,"endTime":477.82,"body":"what's happening with your tone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":477.82,"endTime":481.26,"body":"of voice, what's happening with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":477.82,"endTime":481.26,"body":"your rate of breath, what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.26,"endTime":484.32,"body":"happening with your speech, in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.26,"endTime":484.32,"body":"terms of your rate of speech,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":484.38,"endTime":487.56,"body":"not only the tone, but how fast"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":484.38,"endTime":487.56,"body":"or slow that you are talking?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.8,"endTime":491.82,"body":"Are you sweating? Are you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.8,"endTime":491.82,"body":"shaking? What's happening to you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":491.82,"endTime":495.0,"body":"physiologically? That's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":491.82,"endTime":495.0,"body":"internal check, and the external"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.0,"endTime":499.92,"body":"check is what's happening with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.0,"endTime":499.92,"body":"my facial expressions. Are my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":499.92,"endTime":503.06,"body":"facial muscles. Are they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":499.92,"endTime":503.06,"body":"relaxed? Are my shoulders"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":503.06,"endTime":507.5,"body":"relaxed? Are my fingers relaxed?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":503.06,"endTime":507.5,"body":"Am I fidgeting? Am I moving? Do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":507.5,"endTime":511.94,"body":"I have my arms crossed? You want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":507.5,"endTime":511.94,"body":"to make sure that your muscles"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":511.94,"endTime":515.78,"body":"are relaxed, because when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":511.94,"endTime":515.78,"body":"physically relaxed, then you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":515.78,"endTime":519.32,"body":"come across as relaxed. It isn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":515.78,"endTime":519.32,"body":"as threatening. It's very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.32,"endTime":521.44,"body":"different, if my shoulders are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.32,"endTime":521.44,"body":"down, and I'm talking to you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":521.44,"endTime":523.96,"body":"about something heated versus if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":521.44,"endTime":523.96,"body":"my shoulders are up, there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":523.96,"endTime":527.14,"body":"big difference there. It's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":523.96,"endTime":527.14,"body":"What's wrong with her? Like, why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.14,"endTime":531.76,"body":"are shoulders up? You want them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.14,"endTime":531.76,"body":"to relax, and sometimes you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":531.76,"endTime":535.06,"body":"to physically move your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":531.76,"endTime":535.06,"body":"shoulders down. Shake your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":535.06,"endTime":538.66,"body":"hands. Take it. Take a deep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":535.06,"endTime":538.66,"body":"breath. You can say, hey, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":538.66,"endTime":541.56,"body":"give me a couple seconds. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":538.66,"endTime":541.56,"body":"can actually go to the kitchen,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.56,"endTime":545.88,"body":"get something to drink and come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.56,"endTime":545.88,"body":"back, that's okay. The point is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":546.24,"endTime":548.76,"body":"when you're in control of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":546.24,"endTime":548.76,"body":"yourself, then you're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.76,"endTime":551.52,"body":"be more in control of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.76,"endTime":551.52,"body":"conversation and the impact that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.52,"endTime":552.18,"body":"you're having."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":552.54,"endTime":554.34,"body":"It's funny that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":552.54,"endTime":554.34,"body":"people try and work out these"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":554.34,"endTime":558.12,"body":"big things in the middle of a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":554.34,"endTime":558.12,"body":"heated thing, because no one's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":558.12,"endTime":561.02,"body":"thinking clearly, right? And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":558.12,"endTime":561.02,"body":"it's just like, it's my point of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":561.02,"endTime":565.82,"body":"view, I'm right, you're wrong."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":561.02,"endTime":565.82,"body":"And it just, it's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":565.82,"endTime":568.52,"body":"waste, it's a lot of energy, and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":565.82,"endTime":568.52,"body":"it's a lot of wasted energy, a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":568.52,"endTime":572.54,"body":"lot of negative energy, and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":568.52,"endTime":572.54,"body":"that's why, I guess, I try not"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":572.54,"endTime":575.12,"body":"to get into arguments, because"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":572.54,"endTime":575.12,"body":"it's just like, Ooh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.32,"endTime":579.02,"body":"yeah, it can, it can go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.32,"endTime":579.02,"body":"nowhere. What happens is, your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":579.02,"endTime":583.66,"body":"limbic system in your brain is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":579.02,"endTime":583.66,"body":"taking off. It's caught. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":583.66,"endTime":586.72,"body":"turned it on, you turn a switch"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":583.66,"endTime":586.72,"body":"on. So you're either a fight,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":586.72,"endTime":590.74,"body":"flight or freeze. And if you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":586.72,"endTime":590.74,"body":"in that fight stage, if your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.74,"endTime":596.8,"body":"limbic system goes to fight,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.74,"endTime":596.8,"body":"then that's where people can not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":596.8,"endTime":599.56,"body":"think, right? There's no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":596.8,"endTime":599.56,"body":"rationality, because emotions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":599.56,"endTime":603.48,"body":"are taking. Over. It's about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":599.56,"endTime":603.48,"body":"fighting. It's about winning,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":603.54,"endTime":605.64,"body":"absolutely survival. Arguing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":603.54,"endTime":605.64,"body":"It's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":605.64,"endTime":607.8,"body":"survival. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":605.64,"endTime":607.8,"body":"it is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.86,"endTime":611.22,"body":"It is about survival."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.86,"endTime":611.22,"body":"So not only do you take this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.22,"endTime":613.92,"body":"physical check on yourself, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.22,"endTime":613.92,"body":"something you can do with your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.92,"endTime":617.16,"body":"partner is, as long as it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.92,"endTime":617.16,"body":"soft touch. I mean, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":617.16,"endTime":619.98,"body":"touch their arm, you can touch"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":617.16,"endTime":619.98,"body":"their hand, you can say, Hey, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.98,"endTime":623.36,"body":"know this is a let me lift my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.98,"endTime":623.36,"body":"hand up, I know, or my arm up. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.36,"endTime":626.42,"body":"know this is a difficult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.36,"endTime":626.42,"body":"conversation, but I want you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.42,"endTime":628.82,"body":"know we're in this together. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.42,"endTime":628.82,"body":"as you're saying something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.82,"endTime":632.6,"body":"positive, and you reach out and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.82,"endTime":632.6,"body":"touch your partner, but you want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.6,"endTime":638.12,"body":"to touch for like, 1015, seconds"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.6,"endTime":638.12,"body":"you want. And the reason is, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.12,"endTime":642.04,"body":"because you want the the bonding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.12,"endTime":642.04,"body":"hormone oxytocin to be released"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.94,"endTime":648.76,"body":"so quick. Touch as effective. No"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.94,"endTime":648.76,"body":"hitting, right? That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":649.12,"endTime":650.2,"body":"absolutely no,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":650.26,"endTime":652.3,"body":"I mean, like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":650.26,"endTime":652.3,"body":"swatting, not hitting,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":652.72,"endTime":654.7,"body":"definitely no heading, but no"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":652.72,"endTime":654.7,"body":"swatting either."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.3,"endTime":657.94,"body":"Yeah, no. It needs to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.3,"endTime":657.94,"body":"be a gentle, loving touch or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":657.94,"endTime":661.08,"body":"keep your hands to yourself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":657.94,"endTime":661.08,"body":"period, right? You know, period."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":661.08,"endTime":662.88,"body":"I mean, there's no excuse for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":661.08,"endTime":662.88,"body":"No, absolutely"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":662.88,"endTime":664.8,"body":"not. And I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":662.88,"endTime":664.8,"body":"wasn't making light of that, so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":664.86,"endTime":669.48,"body":"don't come at me. Not you dumb."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":664.86,"endTime":669.48,"body":"It's a totally different world"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":669.54,"endTime":675.54,"body":"now, and has been definitely for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":669.54,"endTime":675.54,"body":"the past six years, as far as"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":675.54,"endTime":681.5,"body":"our communication devices. And a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":675.54,"endTime":681.5,"body":"lot of times, you know, people"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":681.5,"endTime":683.96,"body":"are doing a lot of their"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":681.5,"endTime":683.96,"body":"communication on their phones,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":683.96,"endTime":687.2,"body":"right through texting, through"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":683.96,"endTime":687.2,"body":"messaging, etc, which That in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":687.2,"endTime":690.2,"body":"itself, and I know it's not body"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":687.2,"endTime":690.2,"body":"language, but that in of itself,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":690.2,"endTime":692.84,"body":"can create some kind of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":690.2,"endTime":692.84,"body":"interest, because you lose a lot"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":693.2,"endTime":697.88,"body":"a lot of context in your content"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":693.2,"endTime":697.88,"body":"when you're you know. So do you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":697.88,"endTime":701.92,"body":"have any advice, as far as you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":697.88,"endTime":701.92,"body":"know, couples or, you know, in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":702.28,"endTime":705.04,"body":"to me, it's relationships in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":702.28,"endTime":705.04,"body":"general. You know, whether"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":705.04,"endTime":707.98,"body":"you're whether it's a romantic"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":705.04,"endTime":707.98,"body":"relationship or whether it's a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":707.98,"endTime":712.18,"body":"familial relationship. You know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":707.98,"endTime":712.18,"body":"what's your advice for folks"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":712.18,"endTime":716.5,"body":"that do a lot of communicating"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":712.18,"endTime":716.5,"body":"and maybe just something happens"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":716.5,"endTime":719.92,"body":"in a text? And you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":716.5,"endTime":719.92,"body":"obviously, for you don't want to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":719.98,"endTime":723.0,"body":"have big conversations over"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":719.98,"endTime":723.0,"body":"text. But do you have any"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":723.0,"endTime":727.2,"body":"advice? Because it is such a you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":723.0,"endTime":727.2,"body":"know, it's a considerable amount"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":727.2,"endTime":729.06,"body":"of our communication is that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":727.2,"endTime":729.06,"body":"way?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.44,"endTime":732.96,"body":"Yes, when it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.44,"endTime":732.96,"body":"something serious, super"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.96,"endTime":737.4,"body":"important, don't text it. Don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.96,"endTime":737.4,"body":"email it. Have a conversation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.3,"endTime":741.98,"body":"Look, think about your intimate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.3,"endTime":741.98,"body":"time generally aren't held by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.98,"endTime":745.16,"body":"text or email. So why would you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.98,"endTime":745.16,"body":"have such an important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":745.16,"endTime":750.98,"body":"conversation over email or text?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":745.16,"endTime":750.98,"body":"You need to have it face to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.98,"endTime":756.92,"body":"face. Because not only are you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":750.98,"endTime":756.92,"body":"actually listening right, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":756.92,"endTime":760.84,"body":"you're hearing their their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":756.92,"endTime":760.84,"body":"breath, you're in their energy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.9,"endTime":763.96,"body":"You're looking into their eyes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.9,"endTime":763.96,"body":"You can reach out and you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.96,"endTime":767.74,"body":"touch your partner. They can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.96,"endTime":767.74,"body":"touch you. You can caress each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":767.74,"endTime":773.5,"body":"other on the cheek. I mean, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":767.74,"endTime":773.5,"body":"means so much more, and a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":773.5,"endTime":778.0,"body":"times through touch or having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":773.5,"endTime":778.0,"body":"someone physically present can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.0,"endTime":781.62,"body":"help de escalate issues. Why?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.0,"endTime":781.62,"body":"Because nothing is left to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.62,"endTime":786.0,"body":"interpretation. They're in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.62,"endTime":786.0,"body":"real and now in the moment, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":786.0,"endTime":787.92,"body":"that makes the world of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":786.0,"endTime":787.92,"body":"difference."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":788.52,"endTime":792.3,"body":"So if someone"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":788.52,"endTime":792.3,"body":"finds a topic that is they're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":792.3,"endTime":796.5,"body":"afraid to have in person, and by"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":792.3,"endTime":796.5,"body":"afraid i Let me see. Let me just"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":796.5,"endTime":800.78,"body":"say it the way it's in my head,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":796.5,"endTime":800.78,"body":"is it better to at least have a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":800.78,"endTime":805.16,"body":"conversation through electronic"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":800.78,"endTime":805.16,"body":"means, then not have it at all,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":805.4,"endTime":808.16,"body":"because what if somebody is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":805.4,"endTime":808.16,"body":"really just like, I mean, some"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":808.16,"endTime":810.74,"body":"people are very anxious and they"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":808.16,"endTime":810.74,"body":"don't they know they need to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":810.74,"endTime":814.28,"body":"have this conversation, but for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":810.74,"endTime":814.28,"body":"some reason, they just are so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":814.28,"endTime":820.48,"body":"afraid to do it in person. Does"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":814.28,"endTime":820.48,"body":"that make sense? Was virtual?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":820.66,"endTime":823.6,"body":"Would does make sense,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":820.66,"endTime":823.6,"body":"but with virtual like how you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":823.6,"endTime":826.6,"body":"and I are doing it right now, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":823.6,"endTime":826.6,"body":"me, that would be the next best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.6,"endTime":830.92,"body":"thing. So fire on the Zoom. Fire"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.6,"endTime":830.92,"body":"up a zoom, fire up a FaceTime."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.52,"endTime":836.26,"body":"And if that doesn't work, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.52,"endTime":836.26,"body":"put it in text. But here's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.26,"endTime":839.2,"body":"there's a problem with text"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.26,"endTime":839.2,"body":"messages versus talking. A lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.38,"endTime":841.86,"body":"of times in text, you make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.38,"endTime":841.86,"body":"assumptions that the person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":841.86,"endTime":844.74,"body":"understands what you're talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":841.86,"endTime":844.74,"body":"about, what you mean. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":844.74,"endTime":847.8,"body":"people don't even use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":844.74,"endTime":847.8,"body":"punctuation anymore, and there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":847.8,"endTime":850.62,"body":"are a lot of examples out there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":847.8,"endTime":850.62,"body":"on the internet, when people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.62,"endTime":853.98,"body":"don't use punctuation, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.62,"endTime":853.98,"body":"changes what you're trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.98,"endTime":854.1,"body":"say."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":854.1,"endTime":856.14,"body":"It does. And I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":854.1,"endTime":856.14,"body":"need to understand why Gen Z is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":856.14,"endTime":859.26,"body":"so down on punctuation. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":856.14,"endTime":859.26,"body":"know."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.1,"endTime":861.92,"body":"And it changes. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.1,"endTime":861.92,"body":"there can be a lot more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":861.92,"endTime":865.28,"body":"confusion, which means a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":861.92,"endTime":865.28,"body":"more headache and suffering for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.28,"endTime":869.3,"body":"what if you have the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.28,"endTime":869.3,"body":"conversation, and it's easier to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.3,"endTime":873.14,"body":"relax somebody when you're face"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.3,"endTime":873.14,"body":"to face, also, because you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.14,"endTime":876.2,"body":"touch, you can't say, oh, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.14,"endTime":876.2,"body":"getting, you know, I'm hearing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.38,"endTime":879.14,"body":"I'm hearing that you're getting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":876.38,"endTime":879.14,"body":"a little angry right now, I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.14,"endTime":882.82,"body":"you to know X, Y or Z, That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.14,"endTime":882.82,"body":"not my intent. What can I do to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.82,"endTime":887.56,"body":"make this better? It's so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.82,"endTime":887.56,"body":"easier to get control of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":887.56,"endTime":891.76,"body":"conversation in a positive way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":887.56,"endTime":891.76,"body":"when you're face to face and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.76,"endTime":894.58,"body":"when you're talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.76,"endTime":894.58,"body":"something that's super serious."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":894.82,"endTime":898.06,"body":"I think it's better. Now, some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":894.82,"endTime":898.06,"body":"listener out there might go,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.06,"endTime":900.24,"body":"Wait a second, I'm in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.06,"endTime":900.24,"body":"California, and there. In New"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.24,"endTime":904.32,"body":"York. Okay, I got it, then I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.24,"endTime":904.32,"body":"gotcha. Okay, you can't be face"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.32,"endTime":907.68,"body":"to face, but you do have virtual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.32,"endTime":907.68,"body":"you do have a virtual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.68,"endTime":908.34,"body":"connection. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":908.34,"endTime":909.84,"body":"if it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":908.34,"endTime":909.84,"body":"important, schedule the time."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":910.74,"endTime":915.06,"body":"Absolutely schedule the time. So"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":910.74,"endTime":915.06,"body":"let's talk a little bit about we"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":915.06,"endTime":919.32,"body":"live in a melting pot country."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":915.06,"endTime":919.32,"body":"What about couples that are"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":919.32,"endTime":923.18,"body":"relationships that are"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":919.32,"endTime":923.18,"body":"multicultural, because it's very"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":923.18,"endTime":926.24,"body":"well known that way. We say"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":923.18,"endTime":926.24,"body":"certain things in America may"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":926.24,"endTime":930.44,"body":"not be the same. Have the same"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":926.24,"endTime":930.44,"body":"land, the same way and with"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":930.56,"endTime":934.58,"body":"someone in another country. So"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":930.56,"endTime":934.58,"body":"has that ever been Are there"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":934.58,"endTime":938.0,"body":"differences there that we should"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":934.58,"endTime":938.0,"body":"be aware of?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":938.12,"endTime":940.84,"body":"There are, there are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":938.12,"endTime":940.84,"body":"differences, particularly when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.84,"endTime":944.5,"body":"it comes to affection. Some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.84,"endTime":944.5,"body":"cultures are more touchy feely."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.68,"endTime":947.26,"body":"They're going to hug more,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.68,"endTime":947.26,"body":"they're going to touch more,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":947.26,"endTime":951.46,"body":"they're going to kiss on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":947.26,"endTime":951.46,"body":"cheeks more. And that tends to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.46,"endTime":956.32,"body":"be like Spanish speaking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.46,"endTime":956.32,"body":"countries and Italy. Then you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.32,"endTime":960.48,"body":"have some other countries where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.32,"endTime":960.48,"body":"it's not as accepted. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.48,"endTime":963.96,"body":"saying people don't do that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.48,"endTime":963.96,"body":"behind closed doors. I'm just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.96,"endTime":968.16,"body":"saying it's just it's shown"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.96,"endTime":968.16,"body":"differently or not as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.16,"endTime":971.1,"body":"frequently. So if you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.16,"endTime":971.1,"body":"someone who comes from a culture"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.28,"endTime":974.28,"body":"where hugging and kissing and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.28,"endTime":974.28,"body":"touching on the arm or the cheek"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.28,"endTime":977.22,"body":"or the crest on the shoulder or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.28,"endTime":977.22,"body":"the back is super common, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.22,"endTime":982.22,"body":"their partner isn't like that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.22,"endTime":982.22,"body":"The partner who comes or has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.22,"endTime":986.78,"body":"that the warm, touchy feely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.22,"endTime":986.78,"body":"culture, then they can perceive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.78,"endTime":991.22,"body":"that as, gosh, maybe I'm not as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.78,"endTime":991.22,"body":"loved as I thought. Maybe this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.22,"endTime":993.5,"body":"isn't as strong as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.22,"endTime":993.5,"body":"relationship as I had hoped,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.86,"endTime":998.3,"body":"where the other partner might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.86,"endTime":998.3,"body":"see the partner who wants all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.3,"endTime":1001.44,"body":"the touching and hugging and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.3,"endTime":1001.44,"body":"feeling like so demanding,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.5,"endTime":1007.02,"body":"needy, just so so needy, clingy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.5,"endTime":1007.02,"body":"exactly, so needy and clingy and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.02,"endTime":1010.26,"body":"oh my gosh, I thought I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.02,"endTime":1010.26,"body":"dating an adult, not a kid."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1010.62,"endTime":1014.16,"body":"That's where the differences"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1010.62,"endTime":1014.16,"body":"come. Can come in. But look,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.34,"endTime":1017.1,"body":"there's a solution to every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.34,"endTime":1017.1,"body":"problem. The way I see this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.1,"endTime":1020.66,"body":"there's more than one solution"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.1,"endTime":1020.66,"body":"to a given situation, and this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.66,"endTime":1024.74,"body":"is where you talk and say, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.66,"endTime":1024.74,"body":"love one thing that I love about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.74,"endTime":1027.62,"body":"our relationship. I love when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.74,"endTime":1027.62,"body":"we're affectionate. I love when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.62,"endTime":1031.4,"body":"you reach out and you and I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.62,"endTime":1031.4,"body":"kiss you or hug you or hold your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.4,"endTime":1036.08,"body":"hand. I get the impression, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.4,"endTime":1036.08,"body":"get the sense that maybe that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.98,"body":"doesn't work for you. So much,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.98,"body":"am I right? And they can say yes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.98,"endTime":1042.64,"body":"or no and that starts a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.98,"endTime":1042.64,"body":"conversation. Notice. There's no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.64,"endTime":1046.3,"body":"accusation, there's no judgment,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.64,"endTime":1046.3,"body":"it was safe, no criticism,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1046.48,"endTime":1050.08,"body":"there's no finger pointing. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1046.48,"endTime":1050.08,"body":"is completely emotionally safe,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.32,"endTime":1054.52,"body":"and that's the one thing that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.32,"endTime":1054.52,"body":"have found in my work people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1054.52,"endTime":1057.7,"body":"want so much is to feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1054.52,"endTime":1057.7,"body":"emotionally safe, where they can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.7,"endTime":1062.34,"body":"talk and not be judged or not be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.7,"endTime":1062.34,"body":"criticized or not be put down,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.46,"endTime":1065.1,"body":"but accepted for their feelings."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.46,"endTime":1065.1,"body":"The"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1065.1,"endTime":1067.44,"body":"whole safe thing"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1065.1,"endTime":1067.44,"body":"is you're right, and what you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1067.44,"endTime":1070.44,"body":"just said, what you were talking"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1067.44,"endTime":1070.44,"body":"about, about creating that safe"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1070.44,"endTime":1074.28,"body":"zone, I have heard, and I would"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1070.44,"endTime":1074.28,"body":"like, if you don't mind,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1075.12,"endTime":1078.0,"body":"explaining this, I've always"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1075.12,"endTime":1078.0,"body":"referred to it as the Oreo"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1078.0,"endTime":1082.16,"body":"cookie approach when you have a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1078.0,"endTime":1082.16,"body":"difficult conversation, or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1082.16,"endTime":1084.56,"body":"there's something about your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1082.16,"endTime":1084.56,"body":"partner or someone that you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1084.56,"endTime":1088.22,"body":"dealing with that you would like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1084.56,"endTime":1088.22,"body":"to, you know, talk about, I've"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1088.22,"endTime":1090.92,"body":"always heard it called Oreo"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1088.22,"endTime":1090.92,"body":"cookie. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.4,"endTime":1094.1,"body":"so this is what it is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1091.4,"endTime":1094.1,"body":"It's when you start off with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.1,"endTime":1099.08,"body":"something positive. I love how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.1,"endTime":1099.08,"body":"you and I talk every day. I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.08,"endTime":1102.22,"body":"that at the end of the day, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.08,"endTime":1102.22,"body":"know, we take a walk, or we go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1102.22,"endTime":1106.84,"body":"work out together. Okay, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1102.22,"endTime":1106.84,"body":"the positive. Then the the white"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.84,"endTime":1110.92,"body":"part of the cookie. You use that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.84,"endTime":1110.92,"body":"analogy. This is where you talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.92,"endTime":1114.46,"body":"about something that you wish"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.92,"endTime":1114.46,"body":"was different, not a criticism,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.58,"endTime":1119.44,"body":"not a blame, but a wish. That"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.58,"endTime":1119.44,"body":"you wish was different, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1119.44,"endTime":1122.28,"body":"wish on the weekends. Or I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1119.44,"endTime":1122.28,"body":"noticing on the weekends, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.28,"endTime":1124.56,"body":"don't spend as much time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.28,"endTime":1124.56,"body":"together as we do during the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.56,"endTime":1127.86,"body":"week. And I wish that could be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.56,"endTime":1127.86,"body":"different, and then you end with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.86,"endTime":1131.58,"body":"something positive, and I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.86,"endTime":1131.58,"body":"this to be different, so that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1131.58,"endTime":1134.94,"body":"way you and I can just stay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1131.58,"endTime":1134.94,"body":"connected, or continue to show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.94,"endTime":1137.94,"body":"each other how much we love each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.94,"endTime":1137.94,"body":"other. So you have the positive,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.94,"endTime":1141.2,"body":"then you have your wish, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.94,"endTime":1141.2,"body":"you have the negative, and that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1141.2,"endTime":1144.14,"body":"really makes a difference. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1141.2,"endTime":1144.14,"body":"does. It's very different than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.14,"endTime":1147.08,"body":"if I were to say, You know what?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.14,"endTime":1147.08,"body":"Why is it that we only spend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1147.08,"endTime":1149.36,"body":"time together during the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1147.08,"endTime":1149.36,"body":"weekdays, and we have like, an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1149.36,"endTime":1152.9,"body":"hour or two, which is great, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1149.36,"endTime":1152.9,"body":"then during the weekend, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.9,"endTime":1155.78,"body":"like, Mia, what's going on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.9,"endTime":1155.78,"body":"there? Your partner's gonna be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1155.78,"endTime":1160.1,"body":"like, Whoa, what? They're gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1155.78,"endTime":1160.1,"body":"just back up, like, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.1,"endTime":1164.5,"body":"talking to you, it just comes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.1,"endTime":1164.5,"body":"across. And what's coming across"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.5,"endTime":1168.52,"body":"is the frustration, but we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.5,"endTime":1168.52,"body":"all responsible for how we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.52,"endTime":1172.78,"body":"deliver our messages. It's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.52,"endTime":1172.78,"body":"invalidating how you feel, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.78,"endTime":1177.58,"body":"is frustrated or angry or hurt,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.78,"endTime":1177.58,"body":"but jumping on your partner, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1177.58,"endTime":1180.78,"body":"to speak, to get your point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1177.58,"endTime":1180.78,"body":"across is just not acceptable,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.08,"endTime":1185.76,"body":"because then their feelings get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.08,"endTime":1185.76,"body":"hurt and they become angry. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.76,"endTime":1189.0,"body":"they could either fight back or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.76,"endTime":1189.0,"body":"they could close off and shut"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.0,"endTime":1191.28,"body":"down, and then either way, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.0,"endTime":1191.28,"body":"a no win."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.88,"endTime":1198.84,"body":"Some podcasts sound old, weather"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.88,"endTime":1198.84,"body":"beaten and dull. Now there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.84,"endTime":1202.64,"body":"podcast called we. Dog made with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.84,"endTime":1202.64,"body":"space age polymers. Wheeler's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1202.64,"endTime":1206.12,"body":"dog podcast requires no rubbing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1202.64,"endTime":1206.12,"body":"no buffing. It is a humor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.12,"endTime":1209.9,"body":"podcast that restores the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.12,"endTime":1209.9,"body":"luster, makes the ears refreshed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.9,"endTime":1213.38,"body":"again. We ran the Wheelers dog"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.9,"endTime":1213.38,"body":"podcast through 50 consecutive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.38,"endTime":1216.32,"body":"car washes. Despite all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.38,"endTime":1216.32,"body":"scrubbing, the harsh detergents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.32,"endTime":1219.62,"body":"and steam, the Wheelers dog"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.32,"endTime":1219.62,"body":"podcast retained its glow. Get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.62,"endTime":1222.76,"body":"the Wheelers dog podcast,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.62,"endTime":1222.76,"body":"wherever you get podcasts."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1223.54,"endTime":1230.5,"body":"Okay, so let's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1223.54,"endTime":1230.5,"body":"talk about and yes, that very"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1230.5,"endTime":1233.08,"body":"long pregnant pause. You've"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1230.5,"endTime":1233.08,"body":"worked with people, you've"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1233.08,"endTime":1235.42,"body":"worked with couples, you've"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1233.08,"endTime":1235.42,"body":"worked with individuals for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1235.42,"endTime":1239.74,"body":"many, many years now, and I know"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1235.42,"endTime":1239.74,"body":"that you're getting ready to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1239.74,"endTime":1243.06,"body":"start a new project. So let's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1239.74,"endTime":1243.06,"body":"talk a little bit about that."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1243.06,"endTime":1246.36,"body":"Okay, and when, especially"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1243.06,"endTime":1246.36,"body":"specifically for couples, right?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1246.54,"endTime":1250.2,"body":"Why don't we talk a little bit"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1246.54,"endTime":1250.2,"body":"about that as far as what you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1250.2,"endTime":1254.34,"body":"creating? Because I think it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1250.2,"endTime":1254.34,"body":"so, so important for couples."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1254.34,"endTime":1257.88,"body":"Because, again, nobody should be"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1254.34,"endTime":1257.88,"body":"alone unless you're a hermit,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1257.88,"endTime":1260.78,"body":"but even then, you still gotta"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1257.88,"endTime":1260.78,"body":"have some cats or dolls or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1260.78,"endTime":1262.58,"body":"something like that, but we're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1260.78,"endTime":1262.58,"body":"not, this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1262.58,"endTime":1265.46,"body":"what I always say. This"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1262.58,"endTime":1265.46,"body":"is what I always say. We're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1265.46,"endTime":1267.92,"body":"made to be by ourselves, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1265.46,"endTime":1267.92,"body":"if we were, we'd be able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.92,"endTime":1270.74,"body":"procreate by ourselves, true?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.92,"endTime":1270.74,"body":"And I'm not talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.74,"endTime":1273.44,"body":"technology intervention, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.74,"endTime":1273.44,"body":"even with technology"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.44,"endTime":1277.22,"body":"intervention, you still need a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1273.44,"endTime":1277.22,"body":"sperm and an egg, which comes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.22,"endTime":1281.26,"body":"from two separate people, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.22,"endTime":1281.26,"body":"That's a great way to not made."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.68,"endTime":1287.02,"body":"We're just not made to be by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.68,"endTime":1287.02,"body":"ourselves. And so I tend to work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.02,"endTime":1292.96,"body":"more with women than men. Women"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.02,"endTime":1292.96,"body":"tend to want self help. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1292.96,"endTime":1297.82,"body":"want they're more aggressive in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1292.96,"endTime":1297.82,"body":"a positive way of resolving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1297.82,"endTime":1302.1,"body":"relationship issues. And a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1297.82,"endTime":1302.1,"body":"of times women, once they learn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1302.1,"endTime":1307.14,"body":"how to do this, it's a simpler"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1302.1,"endTime":1307.14,"body":"transition to their partner. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.14,"endTime":1311.34,"body":"I, what I do is that there are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.14,"endTime":1311.34,"body":"two different ways that I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1311.34,"endTime":1315.36,"body":"work with people right now and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1311.34,"endTime":1315.36,"body":"then, one is in the heat of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1315.36,"endTime":1319.44,"body":"moment, like there are three"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1315.36,"endTime":1319.44,"body":"different ways that people tend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.44,"endTime":1322.28,"body":"to get caught up in an argument."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.44,"endTime":1322.28,"body":"And I'm talking about an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1322.28,"endTime":1326.06,"body":"argument either before, during"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1322.28,"endTime":1326.06,"body":"and after an argument. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.06,"endTime":1328.82,"body":"there's some people who just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.06,"endTime":1328.82,"body":"don't want to argue at all, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1328.82,"endTime":1331.46,"body":"they know that having hard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1328.82,"endTime":1331.46,"body":"discussions can be difficult,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1331.82,"endTime":1336.56,"body":"and it's a it's a necessity at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1331.82,"endTime":1336.56,"body":"times. So then what I'll do is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.56,"endTime":1341.32,"body":"I'll help them strengthen their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.56,"endTime":1341.32,"body":"communication skills, strengthen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.32,"endTime":1344.56,"body":"how they're feeling, strengthen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.32,"endTime":1344.56,"body":"their body language where it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.56,"endTime":1347.86,"body":"comes across, more loving, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.56,"endTime":1347.86,"body":"it actually decreases the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.86,"endTime":1350.32,"body":"likelihood of even having an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.86,"endTime":1350.32,"body":"argument. So more it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1350.32,"endTime":1353.56,"body":"preventative approach, and that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1350.32,"endTime":1353.56,"body":"has been really successful for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1353.56,"endTime":1354.46,"body":"lot of people."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1354.58,"endTime":1356.8,"body":"Now are you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1354.58,"endTime":1356.8,"body":"going to start working with"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1356.8,"endTime":1361.2,"body":"couples in helping them"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1356.8,"endTime":1361.2,"body":"understand the body language and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1361.2,"endTime":1364.86,"body":"how it can help them navigate"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1361.2,"endTime":1364.86,"body":"conflicts more effectively. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1365.1,"endTime":1367.98,"body":"by doing that, then you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1365.1,"endTime":1367.98,"body":"have a better connection, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.22,"endTime":1371.76,"body":"Yes, of course. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.22,"endTime":1371.76,"body":"right now, I am working on an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.76,"endTime":1376.26,"body":"online course that helps with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.76,"endTime":1376.26,"body":"the preventative approach."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.74,"endTime":1379.74,"body":"That's what I'm gonna tackle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.74,"endTime":1379.74,"body":"first, or I am tackling first,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.74,"endTime":1383.06,"body":"and then I'll have one like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.74,"endTime":1383.06,"body":"where people get stuck in those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.06,"endTime":1386.66,"body":"three areas, either before,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.06,"endTime":1386.66,"body":"during or after an argument, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1386.66,"endTime":1390.68,"body":"help them, like, turn conflict"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1386.66,"endTime":1390.68,"body":"into closeness. So the first one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.68,"endTime":1393.02,"body":"I'm talking about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.68,"endTime":1393.02,"body":"preventative approach is really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.26,"endTime":1397.88,"body":"love more, argue less. And I do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.26,"endTime":1397.88,"body":"have a belief, and I've seen it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1397.94,"endTime":1402.16,"body":"with other people and with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1397.94,"endTime":1402.16,"body":"myself, that when you love more,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.22,"endTime":1405.64,"body":"you're really like riding a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.22,"endTime":1405.64,"body":"cloud of hormones, of really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.64,"endTime":1408.34,"body":"feel good hormones. You feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.64,"endTime":1408.34,"body":"more connected to your partner,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1408.34,"endTime":1412.0,"body":"you're happier. You tend to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1408.34,"endTime":1412.0,"body":"happier and you are angry, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1412.0,"endTime":1415.48,"body":"tend to be happier and relaxed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1412.0,"endTime":1415.48,"body":"than you are stressed. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.48,"endTime":1418.54,"body":"when there's a little bump or a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.48,"endTime":1418.54,"body":"little hiccup in the road, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.54,"endTime":1421.56,"body":"easier to maneuver around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.54,"endTime":1421.56,"body":"because you're loving more,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.74,"endTime":1424.8,"body":"you're leading with love. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.74,"endTime":1424.8,"body":"there's this exactly you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.8,"endTime":1429.24,"body":"leading with love, and it makes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.8,"endTime":1429.24,"body":"of the world of difference. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1429.24,"endTime":1432.66,"body":"there are two courses there, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1429.24,"endTime":1432.66,"body":"then I also offer concierge"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.66,"endTime":1435.72,"body":"coaching. So think about this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.66,"endTime":1435.72,"body":"Think about how many times"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.72,"endTime":1437.64,"body":"people will, or women"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.72,"endTime":1437.64,"body":"particularly, will call a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.64,"endTime":1439.8,"body":"friend. I'm like, guess what? I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1437.64,"endTime":1439.8,"body":"got to talk I got to talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.8,"endTime":1442.4,"body":"Charlie, and I got to talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.8,"endTime":1442.4,"body":"Charlie about X, Y and Z."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.4,"endTime":1444.74,"body":"Remember the last time I talked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.4,"endTime":1444.74,"body":"to Charlie and blah, blah, blah"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1444.74,"endTime":1447.14,"body":"to happen? And then you it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1444.74,"endTime":1447.14,"body":"like, your friend becomes your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1447.14,"endTime":1450.5,"body":"therapist, okay? Which sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1447.14,"endTime":1450.5,"body":"they can give you the best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1450.5,"endTime":1453.74,"body":"advice, and other times they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1450.5,"endTime":1453.74,"body":"give you the worst advice. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.74,"endTime":1457.4,"body":"the concierge coaching that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.74,"endTime":1457.4,"body":"offer is like, I'm that friend."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.4,"endTime":1459.62,"body":"You call me and say, okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.4,"endTime":1459.62,"body":"Charlie's going to be home, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1459.62,"endTime":1461.66,"body":"tonight, tonight, I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1459.62,"endTime":1461.66,"body":"talk to him. And these are my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1461.66,"endTime":1463.96,"body":"concerns. I talk you through it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1461.66,"endTime":1463.96,"body":"What's the blueprint to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.96,"endTime":1466.72,"body":"this conversation? Then when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.96,"endTime":1466.72,"body":"you're finished with that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.72,"endTime":1469.78,"body":"conversation with Charlie, guess"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.72,"endTime":1469.78,"body":"what? Then you can talk to me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.78,"endTime":1473.44,"body":"again, and I can help you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.78,"endTime":1473.44,"body":"process it. What happened? Where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1473.44,"endTime":1477.34,"body":"to go next time, how to pick up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1473.44,"endTime":1477.34,"body":"and move on. So it's very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.34,"endTime":1480.54,"body":"different than therapy, where,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.34,"endTime":1480.54,"body":"generally speaking, you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.54,"endTime":1483.54,"body":"book an appointment several"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.54,"endTime":1483.54,"body":"weeks or months in advance"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.54,"endTime":1487.32,"body":"before you can get in. And by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.54,"endTime":1487.32,"body":"then, the situation is over."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.68,"endTime":1491.28,"body":"It's done. So I'm like, on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.68,"endTime":1491.28,"body":"demand, if you will, enough for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1491.28,"endTime":1492.12,"body":"the concierge. I was"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1492.12,"endTime":1493.5,"body":"gonna say, You"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1492.12,"endTime":1493.5,"body":"know what you are. You're like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1494.22,"endTime":1496.38,"body":"we should call your company."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1494.22,"endTime":1496.38,"body":"Rent a bestie."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.16,"endTime":1499.68,"body":"Hi. I love that. Rent a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.16,"endTime":1499.68,"body":"bestie. That's."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1500.36,"endTime":1503.12,"body":"Or is like, what"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1500.36,"endTime":1503.12,"body":"was the, what was the Who Wants"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1503.12,"endTime":1509.42,"body":"to Be a Millionaire is the phone"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1503.12,"endTime":1509.42,"body":"a friend of BESTie? I'd like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1509.42,"endTime":1512.06,"body":"one. I think that's a great"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1509.42,"endTime":1512.06,"body":"idea, though, because you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1512.06,"endTime":1516.86,"body":"right. Because if you're talking"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1512.06,"endTime":1516.86,"body":"to someone that knows you and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1516.86,"endTime":1520.84,"body":"Charlie, right, they might not"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1516.86,"endTime":1520.84,"body":"be Charlie's favorite person, or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1520.84,"endTime":1523.54,"body":"they, you know, Charlie may not"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1520.84,"endTime":1523.54,"body":"be their favorite person, and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1523.6,"endTime":1528.28,"body":"they always, always have your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1523.6,"endTime":1528.28,"body":"best interest at heart, right?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1528.28,"endTime":1530.56,"body":"They're not as objective."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1528.28,"endTime":1530.56,"body":"They're not going to sit there"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1530.56,"endTime":1534.52,"body":"and say, okay, and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1530.56,"endTime":1534.52,"body":"for me, what I've started to do"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1534.52,"endTime":1537.82,"body":"is like, what is the end what is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1534.52,"endTime":1537.82,"body":"the end result that I want? And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1537.82,"endTime":1541.8,"body":"then, you know, reverse engineer"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1537.82,"endTime":1541.8,"body":"that, right? If this is what I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1541.8,"endTime":1545.46,"body":"want in the end, what do I need"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1541.8,"endTime":1545.46,"body":"to do to get that? If it's like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1545.58,"endTime":1549.12,"body":"I want you to take out the trash"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1545.58,"endTime":1549.12,"body":"more often, you know, kind of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1549.12,"endTime":1553.56,"body":"thing so. But I love the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1549.12,"endTime":1553.56,"body":"concierge piece of it. Now, will"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1553.56,"endTime":1557.7,"body":"you, will you be working with"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1553.56,"endTime":1557.7,"body":"couples, or is it largely one on"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1557.7,"endTime":1561.92,"body":"one? It's largely one on one?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1557.7,"endTime":1561.92,"body":"Have you ever had, have you ever"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1561.92,"endTime":1565.16,"body":"worked with couples together to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1561.92,"endTime":1565.16,"body":"get to some of this?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1565.34,"endTime":1570.08,"body":"I have, but like I said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1565.34,"endTime":1570.08,"body":"earlier, women tend to seek out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.08,"endTime":1573.8,"body":"the help. Yeah, more frequently,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.08,"endTime":1573.8,"body":"absolutely. And it's easier that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.8,"endTime":1577.34,"body":"they'll make the time like the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.8,"endTime":1577.34,"body":"relationship is of utmost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1577.34,"endTime":1581.56,"body":"important, and by golly, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1577.34,"endTime":1581.56,"body":"are going to figure out what is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.56,"endTime":1585.76,"body":"going on where men, and I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.56,"endTime":1585.76,"body":"putting every single person in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.76,"endTime":1589.84,"body":"specific category, I would never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.76,"endTime":1589.84,"body":"do that. But men, some men, tend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1589.84,"endTime":1594.28,"body":"to say, whatever, it's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1589.84,"endTime":1594.28,"body":"be fine. We're going to be okay."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.78,"endTime":1599.38,"body":"The problem with that is, and it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.78,"endTime":1599.38,"body":"could be true, what happens is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1599.38,"endTime":1604.26,"body":"is that the woman feels she's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1599.38,"endTime":1604.26,"body":"being minimized, her opinion,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.26,"endTime":1607.8,"body":"her point of view, her concern,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.26,"endTime":1607.8,"body":"the importance that she's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.8,"endTime":1611.28,"body":"placing on their relationship,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.8,"endTime":1611.28,"body":"is being minimized. And that may"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1611.28,"endTime":1615.18,"body":"not be his intent at all. It may"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1611.28,"endTime":1615.18,"body":"not be. It's just how it lands."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1615.36,"endTime":1619.68,"body":"So I tend to do more one on one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1615.36,"endTime":1619.68,"body":"and then, but however, what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1619.68,"endTime":1623.6,"body":"teach one on one, it makes it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1619.68,"endTime":1623.6,"body":"easier for them to use it in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1623.6,"endTime":1625.7,"body":"action when they're having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1623.6,"endTime":1625.7,"body":"conversations with their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.7,"endTime":1628.7,"body":"partners. And you can see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.7,"endTime":1628.7,"body":"changes almost immediately,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1628.7,"endTime":1632.9,"body":"because it's a different way of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1628.7,"endTime":1632.9,"body":"looking at the situation,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1633.32,"endTime":1637.76,"body":"analyzing it and then reacting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1633.32,"endTime":1637.76,"body":"and responding to it. And a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1637.76,"endTime":1641.08,"body":"of times with it, with a change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1637.76,"endTime":1641.08,"body":"in body language or in word"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1641.08,"endTime":1643.72,"body":"choices, because body language"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1641.08,"endTime":1643.72,"body":"and words go hand in hand,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.56,"endTime":1648.28,"body":"because we talk to people in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.56,"endTime":1648.28,"body":"lives, we don't mimic and mime"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.28,"endTime":1652.24,"body":"everything, we just don't do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.28,"endTime":1652.24,"body":"conversation. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1652.84,"endTime":1654.76,"body":"then you have"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1652.84,"endTime":1654.76,"body":"people like us that do both at"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1654.76,"endTime":1656.98,"body":"the same time. And then that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.98,"endTime":1660.72,"body":"right, then you have us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.98,"endTime":1660.72,"body":"with our hands, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1661.5,"endTime":1662.7,"body":"we've gone"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1661.5,"endTime":1662.7,"body":"through some similar"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1662.76,"endTime":1665.52,"body":"experiences, and we've learned a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1662.76,"endTime":1665.52,"body":"lot, you know, together. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1665.52,"endTime":1670.02,"body":"there was, I remember, one"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1665.52,"endTime":1670.02,"body":"particular person out there that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1670.02,"endTime":1674.52,"body":"who you know, but made a great"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1670.02,"endTime":1674.52,"body":"comment and that I thought he's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1674.52,"endTime":1677.22,"body":"like, if you're giving the job"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1674.52,"endTime":1677.22,"body":"of the relationship to the man,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1677.22,"endTime":1681.86,"body":"you're giving it to the wrong"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1677.22,"endTime":1681.86,"body":"person. And it is so very true,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1681.86,"endTime":1684.8,"body":"because, you know, women, by"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1681.86,"endTime":1684.8,"body":"nature, were the nurturers,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1684.8,"endTime":1689.72,"body":"right? That's right. But you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1684.8,"endTime":1689.72,"body":"know, I'm divorced, you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1689.72,"endTime":1692.12,"body":"divorced, you know. And there's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1689.72,"endTime":1692.12,"body":"so many, you know, 50% are"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1692.12,"endTime":1694.88,"body":"divorced. And it's so true. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1692.12,"endTime":1694.88,"body":"here's another reason why I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1694.88,"endTime":1699.5,"body":"think women, like women, will"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1694.88,"endTime":1699.5,"body":"try and try and try and try and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1699.5,"endTime":1703.96,"body":"try, right? And men tend to take"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1699.5,"endTime":1703.96,"body":"a back seat and let the woman"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1703.96,"endTime":1707.5,"body":"drive it right. And then all of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1703.96,"endTime":1707.5,"body":"a sudden, she's like, I'm done."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1707.62,"endTime":1710.5,"body":"I have done everything. And then"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1707.62,"endTime":1710.5,"body":"all of a sudden, then the man"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1710.5,"endTime":1713.26,"body":"will pop up. You're like, whoa,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1710.5,"endTime":1713.26,"body":"wait, whoa, whoa, what happened?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1713.26,"endTime":1716.68,"body":"You know, things were great. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1713.26,"endTime":1716.68,"body":"she's like, Dude, I for the past"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1716.74,"endTime":1719.92,"body":"18 months, I've been trying to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1716.74,"endTime":1719.92,"body":"get you to talk and do these"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1719.92,"endTime":1723.3,"body":"things. And so I think what"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1719.92,"endTime":1723.3,"body":"you're doing is such a valuable"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1723.3,"endTime":1727.26,"body":"thing, because giving people the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1723.3,"endTime":1727.26,"body":"resources and the tips and the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1727.26,"endTime":1730.38,"body":"tools I had to learn this on my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1727.26,"endTime":1730.38,"body":"own, well, you helped too. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1730.38,"endTime":1733.8,"body":"mean, you know, just kind of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1730.38,"endTime":1733.8,"body":"getting better at being I mean,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1733.8,"endTime":1738.18,"body":"like, nobody's a mind reader. No"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1733.8,"endTime":1738.18,"body":"one is a mind reader or not. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1738.18,"endTime":1742.52,"body":"it just Yes, these conversations"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1738.18,"endTime":1742.52,"body":"can be awkward to have. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1742.52,"endTime":1745.34,"body":"they can be hard to have. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1742.52,"endTime":1745.34,"body":"you might have just like a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1745.34,"endTime":1748.88,"body":"bowling ball in your stomach,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1745.34,"endTime":1748.88,"body":"but they're so important. If the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1748.88,"endTime":1752.3,"body":"relationship is important, it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1748.88,"endTime":1752.3,"body":"worth the time to, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1752.3,"endTime":1755.54,"body":"work with someone like you to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1752.3,"endTime":1755.54,"body":"find the right words and find"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1755.54,"endTime":1760.1,"body":"the right way to say it. So I am"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1755.54,"endTime":1760.1,"body":"super excited that you're doing"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1760.1,"endTime":1763.48,"body":"this, and I love the concierge"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1760.1,"endTime":1763.48,"body":"piece of it, because, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1763.54,"endTime":1766.84,"body":"the sometimes people get a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1763.54,"endTime":1766.84,"body":"little thrown off with the word"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1766.84,"endTime":1769.42,"body":"coach, because they're like, All"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1766.84,"endTime":1769.42,"body":"right, now I gotta sign up for a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1769.42,"endTime":1773.02,"body":"12 month program type thing,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1769.42,"endTime":1773.02,"body":"right? But the fact that I know"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1773.02,"endTime":1778.72,"body":"that I can dial a bestie,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1773.02,"endTime":1778.72,"body":"because you're right, if I have"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1778.72,"endTime":1782.28,"body":"to wait for my therapist, I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1778.72,"endTime":1782.28,"body":"gonna forget what it was I was"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1782.28,"endTime":1784.98,"body":"so upset about, because that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1782.28,"endTime":1784.98,"body":"the other thing about these"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1784.98,"endTime":1787.5,"body":"heated arguments, is they"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1784.98,"endTime":1787.5,"body":"usually pop up that they're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1787.5,"endTime":1789.9,"body":"like, they're like, flash fires,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1787.5,"endTime":1789.9,"body":"you know, they pop up, that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1789.9,"endTime":1792.12,"body":"right, you deal with it, and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1789.9,"endTime":1792.12,"body":"then it's gone. It's like, a lot"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1792.12,"endTime":1794.34,"body":"of times you don't even remember"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1792.12,"endTime":1794.34,"body":"it two weeks from now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.76,"endTime":1800.12,"body":"That is so true, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.76,"endTime":1800.12,"body":"people would pay attention. To"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1800.12,"endTime":1802.7,"body":"their partner as much as they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1800.12,"endTime":1802.7,"body":"pay attention to their babies."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.7,"endTime":1805.28,"body":"When their babies can't talk and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.7,"endTime":1805.28,"body":"all they do is cry to figure out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1805.28,"endTime":1809.06,"body":"what's going on. What can I do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1805.28,"endTime":1809.06,"body":"to make the baby feel better?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1809.24,"endTime":1811.7,"body":"And they do moms, moms do this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1809.24,"endTime":1811.7,"body":"and dads do this too. Self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.7,"endTime":1814.04,"body":"reflection. Okay, what is it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.7,"endTime":1814.04,"body":"What can I be doing better for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1814.04,"endTime":1817.28,"body":"my baby? What am I missing for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1814.04,"endTime":1817.28,"body":"my baby right now, if people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.28,"endTime":1821.32,"body":"adults would give that level of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.28,"endTime":1821.32,"body":"attention to detail, with their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.32,"endTime":1824.98,"body":"own partners, relationships"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.32,"endTime":1824.98,"body":"would be completely different,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1825.34,"endTime":1829.18,"body":"completely different. But here's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1825.34,"endTime":1829.18,"body":"the key though, one could argue,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1829.18,"endTime":1831.7,"body":"okay, Blanca babies are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1829.18,"endTime":1831.7,"body":"dependent on their parents. Yep,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.7,"endTime":1835.66,"body":"check. Got it. But you know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.7,"endTime":1835.66,"body":"what, if you have a partner who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1835.66,"endTime":1839.32,"body":"loves you and you love each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1835.66,"endTime":1839.32,"body":"other, it's worth it. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.32,"endTime":1842.16,"body":"absolutely. It's absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.32,"endTime":1842.16,"body":"worth it, because think about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.16,"endTime":1845.16,"body":"it, when you see somebody smile"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.16,"endTime":1845.16,"body":"at you, what do you do? Your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.16,"endTime":1848.34,"body":"reflex is to smile back, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.16,"endTime":1848.34,"body":"snarl, unless you have history"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.34,"endTime":1850.74,"body":"with that person. That's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.34,"endTime":1850.74,"body":"totally different story. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.74,"endTime":1853.08,"body":"talking about that, but I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.74,"endTime":1853.08,"body":"going with everyday person that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1853.08,"endTime":1856.2,"body":"you see on the street, someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1853.08,"endTime":1856.2,"body":"smiles you smile back. It's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1856.2,"endTime":1860.66,"body":"same thing, that niceness, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1856.2,"endTime":1860.66,"body":"caring, that warmth. When your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1860.66,"endTime":1864.38,"body":"partner feels it, they can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1860.66,"endTime":1864.38,"body":"help but reciprocate it. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.38,"endTime":1867.74,"body":"when you get saucy. They get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.38,"endTime":1867.74,"body":"saucy back then you add a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1867.74,"endTime":1869.84,"body":"more spice. Well, guess what?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1867.74,"endTime":1869.84,"body":"They're tripling down on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.84,"endTime":1873.26,"body":"spice. But just think about if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.84,"endTime":1873.26,"body":"it were positive. So paying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.26,"endTime":1876.44,"body":"attention to your partner and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.26,"endTime":1876.44,"body":"trying to figure out how to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.44,"endTime":1878.78,"body":"it better, just like you would,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.44,"endTime":1878.78,"body":"the attention you give to your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.78,"endTime":1882.22,"body":"baby, as long as it's a healthy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.78,"endTime":1882.22,"body":"relationship is absolutely worth"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1882.22,"endTime":1882.34,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1882.64,"endTime":1886.36,"body":"So we've got a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1882.64,"endTime":1886.36,"body":"few more minutes, and one thing"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1886.36,"endTime":1890.32,"body":"I would like for you to explain"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1886.36,"endTime":1890.32,"body":"to everyone, because I You"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1890.32,"endTime":1893.98,"body":"taught me, and I think it's so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1890.32,"endTime":1893.98,"body":"important, especially in any"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1893.98,"endTime":1898.0,"body":"kind of relationship, talk about"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1893.98,"endTime":1898.0,"body":"the baseline. Baseline"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1898.0,"endTime":1902.4,"body":"is huge. Baseline is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1898.0,"endTime":1902.4,"body":"how you typically are, how you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.4,"endTime":1906.36,"body":"typically are with other people,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.4,"endTime":1906.36,"body":"how you typically present"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.36,"endTime":1912.24,"body":"yourself. For example, if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.36,"endTime":1912.24,"body":"talk with a slow rate of speech,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.42,"endTime":1915.42,"body":"or do you talk with your hand?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.42,"endTime":1915.42,"body":"Do you look up when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.42,"endTime":1918.84,"body":"thinking about something? When"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.42,"endTime":1918.84,"body":"you get excited? Do you show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1918.84,"endTime":1921.62,"body":"that excitement in your body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1918.84,"endTime":1921.62,"body":"language? Do you move? Do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1921.62,"endTime":1924.2,"body":"shuffle? What is it that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1921.62,"endTime":1924.2,"body":"happening? So it's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1924.2,"endTime":1927.14,"body":"understanding how a person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1924.2,"endTime":1927.14,"body":"presents themselves in an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1927.2,"endTime":1931.1,"body":"unstressful situation, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1927.2,"endTime":1931.1,"body":"situation no stress situation,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1931.1,"endTime":1933.32,"body":"where they're not in a position"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1931.1,"endTime":1933.32,"body":"where they feel like they have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.32,"endTime":1936.92,"body":"to lie, but just how they are on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.32,"endTime":1936.92,"body":"the daily. That's so important,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.92,"endTime":1940.78,"body":"because you know what their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.92,"endTime":1940.78,"body":"baseline is, and then when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.78,"endTime":1943.66,"body":"see a change in their baseline,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.78,"endTime":1943.66,"body":"that's your aha moment. You're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1943.66,"endTime":1947.2,"body":"like, Kristen just changed. She"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1943.66,"endTime":1947.2,"body":"normally smiles, but right now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1947.2,"endTime":1950.74,"body":"she's not. She's kind of looking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1947.2,"endTime":1950.74,"body":"down, and the corner of her lips"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.74,"endTime":1954.46,"body":"are coming down also. Then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.74,"endTime":1954.46,"body":"that's a time not to make an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1954.46,"endTime":1959.32,"body":"accusation. Kristen daukas"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1954.46,"endTime":1959.32,"body":"getting the sense that there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.32,"endTime":1962.58,"body":"might be something on your mind,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.32,"endTime":1962.58,"body":"would I be correct? That gives"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1962.58,"endTime":1965.76,"body":"you the opportunity to say, yep,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1962.58,"endTime":1965.76,"body":"you're right, or no, you're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1965.76,"endTime":1968.1,"body":"right. And that's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1965.76,"endTime":1968.1,"body":"important. You got to give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.1,"endTime":1971.34,"body":"people an out. You cannot come."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.1,"endTime":1971.34,"body":"You can't corner somebody that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1971.34,"endTime":1975.0,"body":"not going to that doesn't come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1971.34,"endTime":1975.0,"body":"across like really caring. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1975.0,"endTime":1978.96,"body":"when you ask a question and say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1975.0,"endTime":1978.96,"body":"Hey, this is what I'm noticing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1978.96,"endTime":1981.38,"body":"you seem a little down. Am I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1978.96,"endTime":1981.38,"body":"right? Oh my gosh, you seem"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.38,"endTime":1985.7,"body":"really excited today. Like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.38,"endTime":1985.7,"body":"what's getting you so excited?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.24,"endTime":1989.6,"body":"Then they feel like, one, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.24,"endTime":1989.6,"body":"paying attention to them, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.6,"endTime":1992.18,"body":"they're important to you. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.6,"endTime":1992.18,"body":"then two, they matter to you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.18,"endTime":1995.24,"body":"because you're asking non"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.18,"endTime":1995.24,"body":"threatening questions. You're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.24,"endTime":1998.36,"body":"asking questions of curiosity,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.24,"endTime":1998.36,"body":"questions that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1998.36,"endTime":1999.5,"body":"understand them better."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2000.1,"endTime":2001.86,"body":"And going back"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2000.1,"endTime":2001.86,"body":"to what you were talking about,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2001.86,"endTime":2004.98,"body":"especially with like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2001.86,"endTime":2004.98,"body":"and we're all guilty of it,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2004.98,"endTime":2008.1,"body":"those of us that have children,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2004.98,"endTime":2008.1,"body":"right? When you're in mom mode,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2008.1,"endTime":2010.74,"body":"everything else, I mean, and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2008.1,"endTime":2010.74,"body":"that's was a very important"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2010.74,"endTime":2013.14,"body":"lesson that I learned in when"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2010.74,"endTime":2013.14,"body":"somebody asks me, who's getting"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2013.14,"endTime":2015.48,"body":"married, what's the piece of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2013.14,"endTime":2015.48,"body":"advice that you have to somebody"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2015.48,"endTime":2018.96,"body":"getting married? I'm like, the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2015.48,"endTime":2018.96,"body":"babies are going to be fine."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2019.32,"endTime":2023.0,"body":"Don't forget to date your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2019.32,"endTime":2023.0,"body":"partner, and we all in. And I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2023.0,"endTime":2026.18,"body":"think that's sometimes, what can"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2023.0,"endTime":2026.18,"body":"a lot of times happen in those"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2026.18,"endTime":2029.06,"body":"first marriages. And I'm not"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2026.18,"endTime":2029.06,"body":"being negative. I love love I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2029.06,"endTime":2031.52,"body":"love marriage. And you know it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2029.06,"endTime":2031.52,"body":"just, you know, those are the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2031.52,"endTime":2034.82,"body":"kind of things. And if you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2031.52,"endTime":2034.82,"body":"aren't paying attention to those"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2034.82,"endTime":2037.76,"body":"baselines before you know it,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2034.82,"endTime":2037.76,"body":"you know things are going to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2037.76,"endTime":2041.2,"body":"start scrolling out of control."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2037.76,"endTime":2041.2,"body":"And you know, if you're if"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2041.2,"endTime":2043.9,"body":"you're aware of those, then"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2041.2,"endTime":2043.9,"body":"that's as Blanca was saying."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2043.9,"endTime":2047.26,"body":"That gives you the opportunity"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2043.9,"endTime":2047.26,"body":"to check in and say and and then"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2047.32,"endTime":2050.02,"body":"you check in with your own gut"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2047.32,"endTime":2050.02,"body":"and go, Hmm, something's not"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2050.02,"endTime":2055.72,"body":"right here. Let's stop and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2050.02,"endTime":2055.72,"body":"focus. So okay, yes, I will have"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2055.72,"endTime":2059.98,"body":"everything in the show notes for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2055.72,"endTime":2059.98,"body":"how people can find you. But"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2060.58,"endTime":2063.3,"body":"tell me one of your favorite"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2060.58,"endTime":2063.3,"body":"success stories, one of your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2063.3,"endTime":2063.72,"body":"favorite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2063.72,"endTime":2066.66,"body":"success stories, one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2063.72,"endTime":2066.66,"body":"my favorite success stories is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2066.66,"endTime":2069.72,"body":"that I was working with a woman"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2066.66,"endTime":2069.72,"body":"whose partner was a little type"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.72,"endTime":2076.38,"body":"A and would come across as not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.72,"endTime":2076.38,"body":"being very sensitive to her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2076.38,"endTime":2081.5,"body":"feelings when she was talking or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2076.38,"endTime":2081.5,"body":"tried to express things to him,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2081.74,"endTime":2085.94,"body":"he interpreted it as they just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2081.74,"endTime":2085.94,"body":"interpreted as wrong. So working"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2085.94,"endTime":2090.8,"body":"with me, she learned that her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2085.94,"endTime":2090.8,"body":"own anxiety kind of ramped up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2090.8,"endTime":2093.68,"body":"the situation before the first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2090.8,"endTime":2093.68,"body":"word came out of her mouth, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.68,"endTime":2096.74,"body":"based on what she was showing in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.68,"endTime":2096.74,"body":"her body language. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2096.74,"endTime":2099.92,"body":"being able to role play with me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2096.74,"endTime":2099.92,"body":"and getting more comfortable."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2100.54,"endTime":2103.66,"body":"All talking to her partner in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2100.54,"endTime":2103.66,"body":"way that really helps him get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2103.66,"endTime":2106.48,"body":"his attention and helps him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2103.66,"endTime":2106.48,"body":"listen. And one was a way she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2106.48,"endTime":2108.82,"body":"was asking questions, where she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2106.48,"endTime":2108.82,"body":"thought she was actually asking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2108.82,"endTime":2112.78,"body":"a question, but it really came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2108.82,"endTime":2112.78,"body":"across as though she was making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2112.78,"endTime":2116.56,"body":"a command, because it came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2112.78,"endTime":2116.56,"body":"across came across as sharp and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2116.56,"endTime":2120.46,"body":"pointed. And then her body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2116.56,"endTime":2120.46,"body":"language was one of of angst,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2120.76,"endTime":2124.26,"body":"right? Once she learned what her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2120.76,"endTime":2124.26,"body":"body language was doing, and she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2124.26,"endTime":2128.34,"body":"could relax, and then she could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2124.26,"endTime":2128.34,"body":"ask a question, a real question,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.46,"endTime":2132.6,"body":"she noticed a big difference in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.46,"endTime":2132.6,"body":"how he would respond to her, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2132.66,"endTime":2136.92,"body":"it made him feel like she wasn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2132.66,"endTime":2136.92,"body":"being critical of him. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2136.92,"endTime":2139.8,"body":"turned out to be a really nice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2136.92,"endTime":2139.8,"body":"situation, because then it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2139.8,"endTime":2142.4,"body":"easier for them to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2139.8,"endTime":2142.4,"body":"difficult conversations."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2142.7,"endTime":2146.48,"body":"That's amazing."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2142.7,"endTime":2146.48,"body":"I love it. Thank you, my friend."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2146.54,"endTime":2152.72,"body":"It has been an entertaining we"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2146.54,"endTime":2152.72,"body":"went a full 3735 3536 minutes."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2152.72,"endTime":2155.54,"body":"But it's okay. It's good stuff."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2152.72,"endTime":2155.54,"body":"Lots and lots of good stuff."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2155.78,"endTime":2160.48,"body":"When do is the course ready yet,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2155.78,"endTime":2160.48,"body":"or is it or you're going to be"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2160.48,"endTime":2162.94,"body":"launching soon. Like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2164.02,"endTime":2166.84,"body":"launching, I'm hoping,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2164.02,"endTime":2166.84,"body":"I'm hoping to be launching at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2166.84,"endTime":2169.48,"body":"the end of August, but anybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2166.84,"endTime":2169.48,"body":"who wants to learn about it now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.48,"endTime":2173.8,"body":"should just reach me at Blanca,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.48,"endTime":2173.8,"body":"at Blanca cob.com let me know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2173.8,"endTime":2176.38,"body":"that you're interested. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2173.8,"endTime":2176.38,"body":"fantastic. And what's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2176.38,"endTime":2178.54,"body":"going to be fun about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2176.38,"endTime":2178.54,"body":"launch? It's really going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2178.54,"endTime":2182.16,"body":"it's a pilot launch, which means"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2178.54,"endTime":2182.16,"body":"those who join a board now can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.16,"endTime":2185.22,"body":"actually help refine the course."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.16,"endTime":2185.22,"body":"So you really have a say. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2185.22,"endTime":2188.16,"body":"almost like you're going to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2185.22,"endTime":2188.16,"body":"creating it with me. Nice. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2188.16,"endTime":2190.68,"body":"that makes it super cool. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2188.16,"endTime":2190.68,"body":"makes it and that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2190.68,"endTime":2192.0,"body":"good for you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2190.68,"endTime":2192.0,"body":"too, because you get the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2192.0,"endTime":2194.1,"body":"feedback, and you get to, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2192.0,"endTime":2194.1,"body":"know, it's like testing. It's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2194.1,"endTime":2196.98,"body":"like test driving a car. You"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2194.1,"endTime":2196.98,"body":"never know if you're gonna like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2196.98,"endTime":2199.26,"body":"it. And you'd like to push all"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2196.98,"endTime":2199.26,"body":"the buttons and things of that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2199.26,"endTime":2201.86,"body":"nature, you know. Then you go,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2199.26,"endTime":2201.86,"body":"Oh no, I want the bigger I want"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2201.86,"endTime":2205.82,"body":"the better one. So I hope you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2201.86,"endTime":2205.82,"body":"have a fantastic night. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2205.88,"endTime":2208.82,"body":"again, thank you for joining me."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2205.88,"endTime":2208.82,"body":"I am sure everyone is going to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2208.82,"endTime":2213.44,"body":"learn lots from this. And for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2208.82,"endTime":2213.44,"body":"those of you who are out there"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2213.44,"endTime":2217.82,"body":"listening, thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2213.44,"endTime":2217.82,"body":"tuning in, and until next time,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2218.12,"endTime":2222.7,"body":"may your drinks be as strong as"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2218.12,"endTime":2222.7,"body":"the coffee you drink in the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2222.7,"endTime":2227.38,"body":"morning. Peace out, everybody,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2222.7,"endTime":2227.38,"body":"as the saying goes, you don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2227.38,"endTime":2230.5,"body":"have to go home, but you can"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2227.38,"endTime":2230.5,"body":"stay here. And that's a wrap for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2230.5,"endTime":2233.62,"body":"this week's episode. A big"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2230.5,"endTime":2233.62,"body":"thanks to my guests for sharing"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2233.62,"endTime":2236.8,"body":"their story and to you for"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2233.62,"endTime":2236.8,"body":"listening. Don't forget to share"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2236.8,"endTime":2239.32,"body":"the show with your friends and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2236.8,"endTime":2239.32,"body":"spread the words and if you'd"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2239.32,"endTime":2242.04,"body":"like to be a guest on the show"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2239.32,"endTime":2242.04,"body":"the link is in the show notes"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":2242.1,"endTime":2243.9,"body":"till next time cheers you."}]}