{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":0.18,"endTime":3.12,"body":"Hey friends,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":0.18,"endTime":3.12,"body":"it's Kristen daukas, today's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":3.12,"endTime":6.48,"body":"show. I just wanted to give you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":3.12,"endTime":6.48,"body":"a little heads up that this"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":6.48,"endTime":9.78,"body":"episode contains sensitive"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":6.48,"endTime":9.78,"body":"materials such as abuse and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":9.78,"endTime":13.68,"body":"sexual abuse that may be"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":9.78,"endTime":13.68,"body":"upsetting to some. With that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":13.68,"endTime":21.14,"body":"said, let's get on with today's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":13.68,"endTime":21.14,"body":"show. Welcome to Conversations"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":21.14,"endTime":23.84,"body":"on the rocks, the podcast where"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":21.14,"endTime":23.84,"body":"the drink is strong and the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":23.84,"endTime":27.2,"body":"stories are stronger. I'm your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":23.84,"endTime":27.2,"body":"host, Kristen daukas, and this"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":27.2,"endTime":30.74,"body":"isn't your average chat fest."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":27.2,"endTime":30.74,"body":"Here. Real people spill the tea"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":30.74,"endTime":33.56,"body":"alongside their favorite drinks,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":30.74,"endTime":33.56,"body":"from the hilarious to the heart"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":33.56,"endTime":38.3,"body":"wrenching, each episode a wild"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":33.56,"endTime":38.3,"body":"card. You'll laugh, you may cry,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":38.3,"endTime":41.74,"body":"but you'll definitely learn"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":38.3,"endTime":41.74,"body":"something new. So grab whatever,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":41.74,"endTime":44.74,"body":"what's your whistle and buckle"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":41.74,"endTime":44.74,"body":"up. It's time to dive into the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":44.74,"endTime":48.22,"body":"raw, the real and the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":44.74,"endTime":48.22,"body":"ridiculously human. Let's get"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":48.22,"endTime":53.68,"body":"this chat party started. Hey"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":48.22,"endTime":53.68,"body":"everybody, it's Kristen, and you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":53.68,"endTime":57.76,"body":"are listening to the newest"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":53.68,"endTime":57.76,"body":"episode of conversations on the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":57.76,"endTime":61.98,"body":"rocks, the podcast that's as"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":57.76,"endTime":61.98,"body":"random as the Tumbleweed that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":61.98,"endTime":67.74,"body":"goes through my head on a hot"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":61.98,"endTime":67.74,"body":"summer day, and I have an author"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":68.04,"endTime":73.32,"body":"with me today. It's my first"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":68.04,"endTime":73.32,"body":"author, and I am actually an"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":73.32,"endTime":77.28,"body":"author, kinda I did a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":73.32,"endTime":77.28,"body":"compilation, compilation so I am"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":77.28,"endTime":80.18,"body":"published. I can walk around and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":77.28,"endTime":80.18,"body":"say I am a published author, but"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":80.18,"endTime":85.34,"body":"Lisa Girardi, who is my guest"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":80.18,"endTime":85.34,"body":"today, is a bona fide author,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":85.4,"endTime":89.78,"body":"like she's been writing her book"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":85.4,"endTime":89.78,"body":"now, chasing normal for it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":89.78,"endTime":92.78,"body":"been a hot minute, hasn't it?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":89.78,"endTime":92.78,"body":"It's been a year."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":93.14,"endTime":96.14,"body":"Yeah, well, it's been,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":93.14,"endTime":96.14,"body":"like, a decade since I first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":96.14,"endTime":100.6,"body":"started it. And then, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":96.14,"endTime":100.6,"body":"it's, it's a memoir, so I kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.6,"endTime":103.12,"body":"of be all gung ho, and then I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.6,"endTime":103.12,"body":"like, I don't want to think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":103.12,"endTime":107.38,"body":"about this, you know, because my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":103.12,"endTime":107.38,"body":"childhood wasn't like a downy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":107.38,"endTime":110.68,"body":"fabric softener commercial or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":107.38,"endTime":110.68,"body":"anything. It was, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":110.68,"endTime":112.42,"body":"different. So it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":112.42,"endTime":115.24,"body":"hard. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":112.42,"endTime":115.24,"body":"think we were chat chatting"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":115.24,"endTime":118.24,"body":"earlier today, and I told you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":115.24,"endTime":118.24,"body":"I've read half of it already,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":118.66,"endTime":121.44,"body":"which I still owe you a review"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":118.66,"endTime":121.44,"body":"for Amazon so I can be a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":121.44,"endTime":127.2,"body":"published author again. But it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":121.44,"endTime":127.2,"body":"an intense topic. Do you want to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":127.2,"endTime":128.4,"body":"talk about it a little bit?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.94,"endTime":130.8,"body":"I mean, sure, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.94,"endTime":130.8,"body":"know. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":130.8,"endTime":133.26,"body":"mean, I granted,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":130.8,"endTime":133.26,"body":"it's in the book, but, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":133.26,"endTime":133.92,"body":"right, it's in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":133.919,"endTime":137.279,"body":"book I was so it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":133.919,"endTime":137.279,"body":"been, it's always been my normal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":137.279,"endTime":140.539,"body":"so I can talk about this very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":137.279,"endTime":140.539,"body":"easily. And other people are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.539,"endTime":144.319,"body":"like, I almost titled The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.539,"endTime":144.319,"body":"memoir, making people cringe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.319,"endTime":147.679,"body":"because, you know, like, I'll be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.319,"endTime":147.679,"body":"in a situation like a book club,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":147.679,"endTime":151.219,"body":"and people are like, Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":147.679,"endTime":151.219,"body":"remember when my grandma made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.219,"endTime":154.219,"body":"cookies and I'm there. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.219,"endTime":154.219,"body":"remember when I went to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":154.219,"endTime":157.279,"body":"grandma to get help because my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":154.219,"endTime":157.279,"body":"step uncle was molesting me, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":157.279,"endTime":159.979,"body":"she told me, We don't talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":157.279,"endTime":159.979,"body":"that, you know. And everybody's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.979,"endTime":164.439,"body":"like, and to me, it's like that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.979,"endTime":164.439,"body":"you know, it is what it is. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":164.439,"endTime":167.019,"body":"people hear that and they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":164.439,"endTime":167.019,"body":"like, Oh, wow."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":168.16,"endTime":174.16,"body":"Well, it's a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":168.16,"endTime":174.16,"body":"very it's a hard topic that is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":174.16,"endTime":177.28,"body":"very real, but people don't want"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":174.16,"endTime":177.28,"body":"to talk about it because it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":177.28,"endTime":182.58,"body":"makes them uncomfortable, right?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":177.28,"endTime":182.58,"body":"And it is a conversation that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":182.58,"endTime":186.0,"body":"needs to happen a little bit"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":182.58,"endTime":186.0,"body":"more often, because you and I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":186.0,"endTime":188.64,"body":"are the same. We're both Gen"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":186.0,"endTime":188.64,"body":"Xers, so we're in the same, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":188.64,"endTime":191.28,"body":"know, I don't call it age"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":188.64,"endTime":191.28,"body":"anymore. We're at the same game"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":191.28,"endTime":195.72,"body":"level. And you're right back"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":191.28,"endTime":195.72,"body":"then, not, you know, thank God,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":195.72,"endTime":199.68,"body":"nothing like that ever happened"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":195.72,"endTime":199.68,"body":"to me. How? Yeah, exactly. But,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":199.92,"endTime":203.42,"body":"you know, it's it. That was the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":199.92,"endTime":203.42,"body":"general, oh, we don't talk about"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":203.42,"endTime":209.18,"body":"that and, yeah, it, you know, it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":203.42,"endTime":209.18,"body":"still happens. These situations"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":209.18,"endTime":214.4,"body":"still happen. However, I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":209.18,"endTime":214.4,"body":"hoping that as a society, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":214.4,"endTime":218.72,"body":"know, we take it a lot more"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":214.4,"endTime":218.72,"body":"seriously now, whether it's, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":218.72,"endTime":224.2,"body":"know, assault of a child or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":218.72,"endTime":224.2,"body":"assault in general, it's not so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":224.2,"endTime":228.16,"body":"much of the it's his word, their"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":224.2,"endTime":228.16,"body":"word against your word, because"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":228.16,"endTime":232.06,"body":"there's a lot of that. It's like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":228.16,"endTime":232.06,"body":"the thing that the big viral"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":232.06,"endTime":235.06,"body":"thing a couple of months ago."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":232.06,"endTime":235.06,"body":"Remember what the bear or like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":235.06,"endTime":239.2,"body":"just last month? Yes, would you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":235.06,"endTime":239.2,"body":"rather be alone with a man or a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":239.2,"endTime":241.44,"body":"bear? And all these women and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":239.2,"endTime":241.44,"body":"we're listing off the things"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":241.44,"endTime":243.66,"body":"that they gotta be alone with a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":241.44,"endTime":243.66,"body":"bear, right,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":243.72,"endTime":245.4,"body":"right? Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":245.46,"endTime":247.2,"body":"sad that we're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":245.46,"endTime":247.2,"body":"still in that kind of a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":247.2,"endTime":251.34,"body":"situation, yeah, as a society."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":247.2,"endTime":251.34,"body":"So what made you you said you've"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":251.34,"endTime":253.5,"body":"been doing it for about 10"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":251.34,"endTime":253.5,"body":"years. You've lived with it your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":253.5,"endTime":259.98,"body":"entire life, so over 50 years."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":253.5,"endTime":259.98,"body":"And what was, what? What made"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":259.98,"endTime":263.42,"body":"you finally go, I'm putting this"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":259.98,"endTime":263.42,"body":"down on paper. I am going to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":263.42,"endTime":267.5,"body":"publish this. I am going to put"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":263.42,"endTime":267.5,"body":"out my memoir. You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":268.16,"endTime":270.8,"body":"a couple of things."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":268.16,"endTime":270.8,"body":"Getting involved with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":270.8,"endTime":274.94,"body":"nonfiction authors association"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":270.8,"endTime":274.94,"body":"was very motivating. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.94,"endTime":278.6,"body":"watched, I forget the name of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":274.94,"endTime":278.6,"body":"the movie, but I watched a movie"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":278.6,"endTime":284.14,"body":"on TV where she was writing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":278.6,"endTime":284.14,"body":"about being abused, and she was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.14,"endTime":286.42,"body":"always holding off on it, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":284.14,"endTime":286.42,"body":"then someone told her, right,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":286.42,"endTime":290.8,"body":"like no one is going to read it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":286.42,"endTime":290.8,"body":"And so then I started doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":290.8,"endTime":292.66,"body":"that. Do you know what I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":290.8,"endTime":292.66,"body":"talking about? I know"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":292.66,"endTime":294.04,"body":"what you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":292.66,"endTime":294.04,"body":"talking about, but I can't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":294.04,"endTime":296.68,"body":"remember the name it was that,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":294.04,"endTime":296.68,"body":"that little piece that you just"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":296.68,"endTime":297.4,"body":"said right there,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":297.819,"endTime":300.659,"body":"right like no one's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":297.819,"endTime":300.659,"body":"going to read it. So and that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.659,"endTime":304.619,"body":"was always my, you know, fear."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.659,"endTime":304.619,"body":"And then, to be honest, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":304.619,"endTime":310.559,"body":"mother died in 2019 and I felt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":304.619,"endTime":310.559,"body":"more liberated to write because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":310.559,"endTime":315.239,"body":"she is, I don't know what planet"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":310.559,"endTime":315.239,"body":"she lived on during those years,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":315.239,"endTime":318.419,"body":"but it certainly wasn't the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":315.239,"endTime":318.419,"body":"one I'm on, because her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.419,"endTime":320.899,"body":"recollection is very different."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.419,"endTime":320.899,"body":"How"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":320.9,"endTime":323.12,"body":"was your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":320.9,"endTime":323.12,"body":"relationship with your mom as an"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":323.12,"endTime":324.8,"body":"adult? It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":324.8,"endTime":328.28,"body":"had stages, so I had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":324.8,"endTime":328.28,"body":"kind of divide her into two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":328.28,"endTime":334.58,"body":"people, then Mom and now mom."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":328.28,"endTime":334.58,"body":"She got better as I got older,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.7,"endTime":339.32,"body":"and my stepdad, even though he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.7,"endTime":339.32,"body":"was a bigot and whatever was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":339.32,"endTime":343.72,"body":"like the best man she brought"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":339.32,"endTime":343.72,"body":"into our life, and he told her,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":343.72,"endTime":346.54,"body":"you know, stop hitting her. Go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":343.72,"endTime":346.54,"body":"easy on her. She's a good kid."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":347.08,"endTime":353.5,"body":"So sorry. My younger years, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":347.08,"endTime":353.5,"body":"20s, I was okay with her, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":353.5,"endTime":356.8,"body":"know, she'd still give me money"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":353.5,"endTime":356.8,"body":"buy me things for my apartment."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":357.28,"endTime":363.12,"body":"But as I got older and as my son"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":357.28,"endTime":363.12,"body":"got older, I got angrier because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.12,"endTime":369.0,"body":"I love my son so much, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.12,"endTime":369.0,"body":"couldn't understand how she did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":369.0,"endTime":372.06,"body":"not do anything when I told her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":369.0,"endTime":372.06,"body":"about sexual abuse she did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":372.12,"endTime":376.74,"body":"nothing, and how she could talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":372.12,"endTime":376.74,"body":"the way she talked to me and hit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.74,"endTime":380.78,"body":"me and stuff, you know, like. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.74,"endTime":380.78,"body":"it got worse, and then I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":380.78,"endTime":384.62,"body":"just, I felt bad for her,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":380.78,"endTime":384.62,"body":"because as she got older, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":384.62,"endTime":388.4,"body":"brother had, like, he was off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":384.62,"endTime":388.4,"body":"the face of the earth. We didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":388.4,"endTime":392.0,"body":"know where he was, so I was all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":388.4,"endTime":392.0,"body":"she had. So, you know, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":392.0,"endTime":395.3,"body":"husband used to say, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":392.0,"endTime":395.3,"body":"understand why you still talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":395.3,"endTime":399.08,"body":"her. And the thing was, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":395.3,"endTime":399.08,"body":"guilt, I guess, like I'm all she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":399.08,"endTime":403.48,"body":"has. You know, we don't have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":399.08,"endTime":403.48,"body":"very big family. That's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":403.6,"endTime":407.74,"body":"says a lot about"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":403.6,"endTime":407.74,"body":"you. That says a lot you're in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":407.74,"endTime":411.76,"body":"your mom, she was, she was"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":407.74,"endTime":411.76,"body":"single, right? She was a single,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":411.76,"endTime":414.88,"body":"working mom for a lot of years."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":411.76,"endTime":414.88,"body":"When was it that your stepdad"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":414.88,"endTime":415.9,"body":"came into the picture?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":416.259,"endTime":419.499,"body":"Um, she met him when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":416.259,"endTime":419.499,"body":"was 13, when I was in eighth"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":419.499,"endTime":419.859,"body":"grade."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":420.88,"endTime":427.08,"body":"So as a single"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":420.88,"endTime":427.08,"body":"working mother, do you feel, or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":427.08,"endTime":433.38,"body":"do you think that she poo pooed"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":427.08,"endTime":433.38,"body":"it because she was having to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":433.38,"endTime":440.48,"body":"rely on the perpetrators, and if"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":433.38,"endTime":440.48,"body":"she were to, and I'm not"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":440.48,"endTime":443.54,"body":"justifying it. Please don't take"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":440.48,"endTime":443.54,"body":"that at all. And if she were to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":443.54,"endTime":446.36,"body":"say something, then I'm gonna be"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":443.54,"endTime":446.36,"body":"kind of crazier than the gravy"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":446.36,"endTime":451.28,"body":"train. The help the gravy train"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":446.36,"endTime":451.28,"body":"that she had would be gone, or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":451.28,"endTime":455.12,"body":"it could turn around, and then"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":451.28,"endTime":455.12,"body":"whatever abuse was was on her."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":455.36,"endTime":459.32,"body":"And you know which it's still"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":455.36,"endTime":459.32,"body":"just a shitty, shitty thing to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":459.32,"endTime":463.42,"body":"do, because I will. There's only"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":459.32,"endTime":463.42,"body":"five people in the world that I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":463.42,"endTime":467.8,"body":"would go to jail for, and three"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":463.42,"endTime":467.8,"body":"of those are my children, and it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":467.86,"endTime":471.7,"body":"is and you know, granted, some"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":467.86,"endTime":471.7,"body":"days I feel like I need to go to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":471.7,"endTime":477.1,"body":"jail because of them. But you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":471.7,"endTime":477.1,"body":"know that is as a mother. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":477.1,"endTime":480.22,"body":"you know this, you're a mom"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":477.1,"endTime":480.22,"body":"yourself. I mean, did you ever"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":480.22,"endTime":481.26,"body":"ask her why?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.38,"endTime":485.28,"body":"No, I never really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.38,"endTime":485.28,"body":"talked much about it as an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":485.28,"endTime":489.96,"body":"adult. The one time there was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":485.28,"endTime":489.96,"body":"one time I saw her have, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":489.96,"endTime":495.36,"body":"guilt or feelings about it, I in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":489.96,"endTime":495.36,"body":"my early 20s, is when my GI"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.36,"endTime":499.2,"body":"system started really bugging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.36,"endTime":499.2,"body":"me, and I was I prepped and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":499.2,"endTime":504.68,"body":"was supposed to have a lower GI,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":499.2,"endTime":504.68,"body":"which is a barium enema. Fun,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":504.74,"endTime":505.46,"body":"fun time."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":506.48,"endTime":510.62,"body":"This town needs"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":506.48,"endTime":510.62,"body":"an enema. Yeah, that's my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":510.62,"endTime":511.82,"body":"favorite line from Batman."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.859,"endTime":519.379,"body":"So she took me to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.859,"endTime":519.379,"body":"hospital to have this test only"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.379,"endTime":523.179,"body":"they they do not at least 20"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.379,"endTime":523.179,"body":"years ago, or when, no, this was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":523.179,"endTime":526.299,"body":"30 years ago. I'm lying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":523.179,"endTime":526.299,"body":"myself about my age. They did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":526.299,"endTime":531.399,"body":"not knock me out or anything."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":526.299,"endTime":531.399,"body":"And I they, they did not even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":531.399,"endTime":536.199,"body":"get the thing there. And I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":531.399,"endTime":536.199,"body":"hyperventilating, and I jumped"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":536.199,"endTime":540.599,"body":"off the the gurney, or whatever."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":536.199,"endTime":540.599,"body":"It's not a gurney, whatever the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":540.599,"endTime":544.199,"body":"bench is they put you on. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":540.599,"endTime":544.199,"body":"went back to where my mom was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.199,"endTime":547.259,"body":"waiting, and I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.199,"endTime":547.259,"body":"hyperventilating and crying, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.259,"endTime":552.479,"body":"she got mad at not herself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.259,"endTime":552.479,"body":"really, but she was like, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":552.479,"endTime":557.399,"body":"know, effing Norman. My step"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":552.479,"endTime":557.399,"body":"uncle was Norman, which is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":557.399,"endTime":561.199,"body":"terrible name. Sorry to all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":557.399,"endTime":561.199,"body":"Normans out there, but that name"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.199,"endTime":567.019,"body":"just norms. Terrible name,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.199,"endTime":567.019,"body":"Psycho is extra scary for being,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.199,"endTime":570.379,"body":"you know, so she did, like, show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.199,"endTime":570.379,"body":"some feelings about it, but she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":570.379,"endTime":574.819,"body":"never really, I don't know. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":570.379,"endTime":574.819,"body":"don't know if, if she had the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":574.819,"endTime":580.479,"body":"ability to be a better thinker"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":574.819,"endTime":580.479,"body":"and communicator. I don't know."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":581.26,"endTime":585.4,"body":"I have to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":581.26,"endTime":585.4,"body":"believe that in some way, that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":585.88,"endTime":592.12,"body":"the guilt she felt had to carry"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":585.88,"endTime":592.12,"body":"over. And I just have to, in my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":592.12,"endTime":595.48,"body":"mom heart, I have to, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":592.12,"endTime":595.48,"body":"she knew what it was, that it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":595.48,"endTime":600.12,"body":"wasn't right. So I have to hope"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":595.48,"endTime":600.12,"body":"and believe that. You know. So"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":600.12,"endTime":602.64,"body":"she didn't talk about it, she"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":600.12,"endTime":602.64,"body":"avoided it, but at the same"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":602.64,"endTime":605.58,"body":"time, she maybe internally"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":602.64,"endTime":605.58,"body":"acknowledged the fact that what"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":605.58,"endTime":609.96,"body":"she did was really awful or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":605.58,"endTime":609.96,"body":"didn't prevent what was the most"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":609.96,"endTime":613.08,"body":"challenging part. Do you think"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":609.96,"endTime":613.08,"body":"about writing about this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.62,"endTime":617.22,"body":"sharing, you know, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.62,"endTime":617.22,"body":"it's weird, but like you said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":617.22,"endTime":622.52,"body":"We're Gen X, so my, my arc, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":617.22,"endTime":622.52,"body":"guess, is, you know, the abuse"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":622.52,"endTime":626.12,"body":"happen, and then I had horrible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":622.52,"endTime":626.12,"body":"relationships, and then I found"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.12,"endTime":630.8,"body":"Chris. So the horrible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":626.12,"endTime":630.8,"body":"relationships, I internally slut"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.8,"endTime":635.78,"body":"shame myself. I was like, wow, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.8,"endTime":635.78,"body":"was a big old slut, you know. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.78,"endTime":639.8,"body":"that was tough. It was tough to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.78,"endTime":639.8,"body":"be honest, and I'm not even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.8,"endTime":643.24,"body":"including everything like this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.8,"endTime":643.24,"body":"is my best version of honest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":643.3,"endTime":647.5,"body":"about my dating life, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":643.3,"endTime":647.5,"body":"don't have shame over being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.56,"endTime":652.06,"body":"sexually abused because I didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.56,"endTime":652.06,"body":"do that. That wasn't my fault."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":652.36,"endTime":653.02,"body":"But then the day"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":653.92,"endTime":655.9,"body":"you weren't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":653.92,"endTime":655.9,"body":"wearing that little princess"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":655.9,"endTime":657.64,"body":"dress, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":657.64,"endTime":660.54,"body":"wasn't. I never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":657.64,"endTime":660.54,"body":"understood why people didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.54,"endTime":663.48,"body":"believe me or do anything,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":660.54,"endTime":663.48,"body":"because this was in the 70s,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":663.48,"endTime":666.78,"body":"right? It's not like we had the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":663.48,"endTime":666.78,"body":"internet. How do I know what a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.84,"endTime":670.5,"body":"what male genitalia looks like?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.84,"endTime":670.5,"body":"You know, I didn't have access"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":670.5,"endTime":672.18,"body":"to anything. So why wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":672.18,"endTime":674.22,"body":"you believe a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":672.18,"endTime":674.22,"body":"little kid? Because they didn't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":674.22,"endTime":677.1,"body":"want to, they didn't want to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":674.22,"endTime":677.1,"body":"have to do anything about it."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":677.46,"endTime":680.16,"body":"That's right, that's going to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":677.46,"endTime":680.16,"body":"get that ish is going to get"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":680.16,"endTime":685.52,"body":"ugly. And, you know, I, I've"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":680.16,"endTime":685.52,"body":"known, unfortunately, I've known"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":685.82,"endTime":689.12,"body":"women and young ladies who have"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":685.82,"endTime":689.12,"body":"who've dealt with sexual assault"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":689.6,"endTime":694.16,"body":"older and even in the 21st"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":689.6,"endTime":694.16,"body":"century, there's still that,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":694.16,"endTime":698.3,"body":"well, what were you doing? What"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":694.16,"endTime":698.3,"body":"were what were you wearing? Did"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":698.3,"endTime":700.54,"body":"you were you drinking? I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":698.3,"endTime":700.54,"body":"I remember telling my girls,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":700.54,"endTime":706.06,"body":"like, I don't care if you are"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":700.54,"endTime":706.06,"body":"standing Buck ass naked, holding"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":706.12,"endTime":713.38,"body":"a 12 pack of beer, and no is no,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":706.12,"endTime":713.38,"body":"and that is it. And I will come"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":713.38,"endTime":719.2,"body":"after somebody if that is the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":713.38,"endTime":719.2,"body":"case. But a lot of times too, it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":719.2,"endTime":721.56,"body":"doesn't, these guys get away"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":719.2,"endTime":721.56,"body":"with it, or these people get"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":721.56,"endTime":726.06,"body":"away with it, because our"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":721.56,"endTime":726.06,"body":"judicial system is set up so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":726.06,"endTime":728.7,"body":"that the victim is victimized"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":726.06,"endTime":728.7,"body":"twice, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.06,"endTime":735.54,"body":"So when I lived in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":732.06,"endTime":735.54,"body":"Ohio, I was on a grand jury,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.6,"endTime":738.6,"body":"which was interesting. I'm a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.6,"endTime":738.6,"body":"nosy person. I actually like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.6,"endTime":741.86,"body":"jury duty, but they saved the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.6,"endTime":741.86,"body":"sexual assaults for after lunch."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.86,"endTime":744.92,"body":"So it was always, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.86,"endTime":744.92,"body":"troubling. And this young woman"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.98,"endTime":749.42,"body":"came in, you know, an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.98,"endTime":749.42,"body":"acquaintance had raped her, had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.42,"endTime":752.18,"body":"kidnapped her and raped her,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.42,"endTime":752.18,"body":"actually had kept her against"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.18,"endTime":755.9,"body":"her will. And usually the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.18,"endTime":755.9,"body":"perpetrator doesn't come in to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.9,"endTime":759.68,"body":"give testimony, but he did, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.9,"endTime":759.68,"body":"did, and he was just all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.68,"endTime":763.06,"body":"handsome and denying everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.68,"endTime":763.06,"body":"and like, oh, it was consensual,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.06,"endTime":766.48,"body":"because DNA evidence doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.06,"endTime":766.48,"body":"nail them. They can just say it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.48,"endTime":771.52,"body":"was consensual, right? So what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.48,"endTime":771.52,"body":"really angered me about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.52,"endTime":775.42,"body":"situation is the three women"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.52,"endTime":775.42,"body":"sitting across the table from me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.42,"endTime":781.68,"body":"on the jury who are like, Well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.42,"endTime":781.68,"body":"you said she was a dancer. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.74,"endTime":787.14,"body":"because she was a dancer, she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.74,"endTime":787.14,"body":"deserved to be kidnapped and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.2,"endTime":791.1,"body":"taken like he offered her a ride"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.2,"endTime":791.1,"body":"home, and he did not let her get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":791.1,"endTime":793.44,"body":"out of the car, took her to his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":791.1,"endTime":793.44,"body":"house, tied her up the whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.44,"endTime":797.34,"body":"nine yards, and no, but she's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.44,"endTime":797.34,"body":"dancer, right, so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":797.34,"endTime":799.2,"body":"that makes it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":797.34,"endTime":799.2,"body":"okay, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.5,"endTime":802.58,"body":"yeah. I don't know what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.5,"endTime":802.58,"body":"happened with that case, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.58,"endTime":806.54,"body":"don't I wouldn't be surprised if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.58,"endTime":806.54,"body":"he was not found not guilty of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":806.54,"endTime":809.66,"body":"probably because"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":806.54,"endTime":809.66,"body":"she was a dancer. Well, that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":809.66,"endTime":812.36,"body":"another thing. This is totally"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":809.66,"endTime":812.36,"body":"off subject, but kind of on"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":812.36,"endTime":818.48,"body":"topic, which is the whole why"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":812.36,"endTime":818.48,"body":"sex workers, the whole sex work"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":818.48,"endTime":822.76,"body":"thing just needs to be"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":818.48,"endTime":822.76,"body":"legalized. Yeah. Yeah. I mean to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":822.76,"endTime":825.4,"body":"take away, if we can start"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":822.76,"endTime":825.4,"body":"getting rid of the stigma and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":825.4,"endTime":828.46,"body":"the connotation behind some of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":825.4,"endTime":828.46,"body":"these things, you know, these,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":828.52,"endTime":832.0,"body":"these people, I won't just say"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":828.52,"endTime":832.0,"body":"lady, you know, young ladies, or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":832.0,"endTime":834.7,"body":"girls, or whatever, they're just"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":832.0,"endTime":834.7,"body":"trying to make a living. They"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":834.7,"endTime":838.24,"body":"should be safe. They should be"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":834.7,"endTime":838.24,"body":"safe. But that's the reason why"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":838.24,"endTime":842.7,"body":"a lot of them, unfortunately,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":838.24,"endTime":842.7,"body":"then run down the addict path"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":842.7,"endTime":847.44,"body":"that goes with it. What about"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":842.7,"endTime":847.44,"body":"your son and what about Chris?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":847.8,"endTime":852.0,"body":"How did they, I mean, how did"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":847.8,"endTime":852.0,"body":"talk a little bit about how?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":852.54,"endTime":855.54,"body":"Because, again, very sensitive"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":852.54,"endTime":855.54,"body":"topic, right? Not only is it a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":855.54,"endTime":860.9,"body":"sensitive topic, but now it's my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":855.54,"endTime":860.9,"body":"mom and my wife having to go"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":860.9,"endTime":865.16,"body":"through that. How did, how did,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":860.9,"endTime":865.16,"body":"how did that work? Pan not pan"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":865.16,"endTime":867.56,"body":"out. But, you know, well, how"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":865.16,"endTime":867.56,"body":"was that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.92,"endTime":871.82,"body":"since that happened to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.92,"endTime":871.82,"body":"me, and I've always been pretty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.82,"endTime":875.0,"body":"open with my son at whatever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.82,"endTime":875.0,"body":"age, like, whatever level he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.0,"endTime":879.56,"body":"could handle, you know, I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.0,"endTime":879.56,"body":"asked him his entire life if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.56,"endTime":883.48,"body":"anybody has touched him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.56,"endTime":883.48,"body":"inappropriately. He's 27 I still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.48,"endTime":886.72,"body":"do, because he once told his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.48,"endTime":886.72,"body":"friend, like, gosh, if something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.72,"endTime":889.3,"body":"happened to me, I wouldn't tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.72,"endTime":889.3,"body":"my mom, because she'd be in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.3,"endTime":892.66,"body":"jail. So I asked him all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.3,"endTime":892.66,"body":"time, now, are you sure? Are you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.66,"endTime":896.92,"body":"just not telling me because you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.66,"endTime":896.92,"body":"know I'll go kill him or so he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.92,"endTime":900.96,"body":"he's known his whole life. I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.92,"endTime":900.96,"body":"send them the. First draft of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.96,"endTime":907.08,"body":"book, and Chris, he doesn't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.96,"endTime":907.08,"body":"to read it because of the dating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.08,"endTime":910.98,"body":"stuff. And there's a, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.08,"endTime":910.98,"body":"boyfriend in college that was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":911.04,"endTime":914.58,"body":"abusive to me, but we had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":911.04,"endTime":914.58,"body":"wonderful sex, so you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":914.58,"endTime":919.74,"body":"that's kind of he doesn't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":914.58,"endTime":919.74,"body":"to hear it. And my son started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.74,"endTime":923.24,"body":"reading it, and he texted me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":919.74,"endTime":923.24,"body":"said, Mom, I'm sure this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.24,"endTime":927.5,"body":"going to be a page turner, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.24,"endTime":927.5,"body":"you're my mom, so it's hard for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.5,"endTime":928.4,"body":"them to read."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":928.7,"endTime":930.5,"body":"But how were"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":928.7,"endTime":930.5,"body":"they through the process? I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":930.5,"endTime":932.72,"body":"sure they were supportive,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":930.5,"endTime":932.72,"body":"right? Oh, definitely,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":932.72,"endTime":935.66,"body":"definitely, yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":932.72,"endTime":935.66,"body":"And did you, were"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":935.66,"endTime":938.3,"body":"you, were you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":935.66,"endTime":938.3,"body":"able to work through some of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":938.3,"endTime":941.32,"body":"those things with them? I mean,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":938.3,"endTime":941.32,"body":"I mean, you're a very open and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":941.32,"endTime":944.98,"body":"honest person, I can't see ever"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":941.32,"endTime":944.98,"body":"that you would have not been"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":944.98,"endTime":947.8,"body":"open and honest and transparent"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":944.98,"endTime":947.8,"body":"with them about the situation."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":947.8,"endTime":950.38,"body":"So really, it's no surprise,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":947.8,"endTime":950.38,"body":"except for the fact that you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":950.44,"endTime":953.8,"body":"just writing a 250 page, 300"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":950.44,"endTime":953.8,"body":"page book, right,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.86,"endTime":957.4,"body":"right? Yeah, no, I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.86,"endTime":957.4,"body":"always been open with them and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":957.82,"endTime":964.14,"body":"medical things like Kristen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":957.82,"endTime":964.14,"body":"daukas office, because she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.14,"endTime":968.88,"body":"wanted to do a uterine biopsy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.14,"endTime":968.88,"body":"And I somebody, they attempted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.88,"endTime":974.52,"body":"that on me before, and I said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.88,"endTime":974.52,"body":"No, you have to knock me out any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.52,"endTime":979.56,"body":"anything deep orifice like that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.52,"endTime":979.56,"body":"I have to be unconscious because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":979.8,"endTime":983.06,"body":"it's weird. There's a book I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":979.8,"endTime":983.06,"body":"think the body remembers, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.06,"endTime":986.48,"body":"something like that. I have it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.06,"endTime":986.48,"body":"over there. But, um, even though"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.48,"endTime":990.98,"body":"I go in to these situations"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.48,"endTime":990.98,"body":"knowing that they are not there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":990.98,"endTime":995.96,"body":"to hurt me, my body just goes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":990.98,"endTime":995.96,"body":"nuts if we're if we're doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.96,"endTime":1000.36,"body":"anything rectal or beyond the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.96,"endTime":1000.36,"body":"cervix, you know, it's almost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1000.36,"endTime":1004.8,"body":"like muscle memory, yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1000.36,"endTime":1004.8,"body":"So he's seen me do that, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.8,"endTime":1007.44,"body":"and then they had to schedule a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.8,"endTime":1007.44,"body":"DNC because I was like, No, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.44,"endTime":1010.5,"body":"need to you are not doing that?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1010.86,"endTime":1012.6,"body":"You? I mean,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1010.86,"endTime":1012.6,"body":"we've known each other for a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1012.6,"endTime":1016.44,"body":"long time. We kind of grew up in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1012.6,"endTime":1016.44,"body":"the blogging world together, and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1016.44,"endTime":1020.3,"body":"your sense of humor has always"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1016.44,"endTime":1020.3,"body":"been a key piece of I mean,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1020.3,"endTime":1021.8,"body":"you're funny, you're funny as"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1020.3,"endTime":1021.8,"body":"shit."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.24,"endTime":1025.76,"body":"Shit can be unfunny"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.24,"endTime":1025.76,"body":"too, though it sure"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1025.76,"endTime":1029.12,"body":"can, but yours"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1025.76,"endTime":1029.12,"body":"is funny. Do you think, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1029.12,"endTime":1032.84,"body":"know, it is very true that, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1029.12,"endTime":1032.84,"body":"know humor sometimes hides our"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1032.84,"endTime":1036.5,"body":"trauma, right? That's how we"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1032.84,"endTime":1036.5,"body":"deal with things. Do you think,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1036.5,"endTime":1040.84,"body":"and I, you know, I'm a pretty"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1036.5,"endTime":1040.84,"body":"punny and, you know, witty kind"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1040.84,"endTime":1043.3,"body":"of person too. I'm not. I don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1040.84,"endTime":1043.3,"body":"take a lot of things very"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1043.3,"endTime":1046.72,"body":"seriously. And I know sometimes"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1043.3,"endTime":1046.72,"body":"that that's, you know, it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1046.72,"endTime":1049.24,"body":"easier to deal with these things"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1046.72,"endTime":1049.24,"body":"with humor. Do you think that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1049.24,"endTime":1054.46,"body":"that? Let me ask you this way,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1049.24,"endTime":1054.46,"body":"were you the little comic when"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1054.46,"endTime":1058.24,"body":"you were young? Oh, yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1054.46,"endTime":1058.24,"body":"you've all Do you think it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1058.24,"endTime":1063.12,"body":"always though, been kind of a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1058.24,"endTime":1063.12,"body":"way to not have to deal with the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1063.12,"endTime":1065.52,"body":"demons face on it's easier to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1063.12,"endTime":1065.52,"body":"deal with them."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.64,"endTime":1069.06,"body":"Definitely, when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1065.64,"endTime":1069.06,"body":"first realized I was funny, was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1069.06,"endTime":1073.02,"body":"eighth grade. I had moved to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1069.06,"endTime":1073.02,"body":"new school before my mom met"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1073.02,"endTime":1078.96,"body":"John, and my old school was very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1073.02,"endTime":1078.96,"body":"tough, like hood school, but the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.96,"endTime":1081.74,"body":"boundaries changed. I got to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.96,"endTime":1081.74,"body":"this new school, and it's all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.74,"endTime":1086.0,"body":"these people, I don't know, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.74,"endTime":1086.0,"body":"I just started cracking jokes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1086.0,"endTime":1089.18,"body":"And then all of a sudden, I, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1086.0,"endTime":1089.18,"body":"know, was in with the preps. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.3,"endTime":1093.02,"body":"so I thought, wow, that's, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.3,"endTime":1093.02,"body":"know, it's good that I'm funny."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.38,"endTime":1097.76,"body":"And then the first time John met"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.38,"endTime":1097.76,"body":"me, he had us to that we lived"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.76,"endTime":1101.38,"body":"in the same apartment building"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.76,"endTime":1101.38,"body":"as he did, and he had us to his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1101.38,"endTime":1104.44,"body":"apartment for dinner. And I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1101.38,"endTime":1104.44,"body":"just, you know, my mom had dated"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.44,"endTime":1109.0,"body":"rod for seven years. Who she got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.44,"endTime":1109.0,"body":"older, didn't exist. She's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1109.0,"endTime":1113.62,"body":"I never dated when Lisa was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1109.0,"endTime":1113.62,"body":"little. Like, okay, and he was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.62,"endTime":1117.34,"body":"horrible. So I, you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.62,"endTime":1117.34,"body":"oh, here we go again. Janet's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1117.34,"endTime":1121.08,"body":"picked out another man. Let me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1117.34,"endTime":1121.08,"body":"you know, get rid of them. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.08,"endTime":1124.62,"body":"was just tearing into him,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.08,"endTime":1124.62,"body":"because I can really hurt people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.62,"endTime":1129.12,"body":"with my words. It's, it's both a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.62,"endTime":1129.12,"body":"good thing and a bad thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1129.12,"endTime":1129.9,"body":"sometimes."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1130.44,"endTime":1134.34,"body":"And no, I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1130.44,"endTime":1134.34,"body":"understand that, believe me. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.339,"endTime":1137.219,"body":"he just, he laughed and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.339,"endTime":1137.219,"body":"laughed, and he goes, you got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.219,"endTime":1139.859,"body":"that he was much older than my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.219,"endTime":1139.859,"body":"mom. He's like, You got the gift"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.859,"endTime":1143.779,"body":"of gab kid. He says, You remind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.859,"endTime":1143.779,"body":"me of Joan Rivers. And I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.779,"endTime":1146.599,"body":"like, who's Joan Rivers? You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.779,"endTime":1146.599,"body":"don't know who's Italian too."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1146.659,"endTime":1151.039,"body":"You don't know who Joan Rivers"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1146.659,"endTime":1151.039,"body":"is. And he got me the album for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1151.039,"endTime":1154.999,"body":"Christmas, one of her album,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1151.039,"endTime":1154.999,"body":"young people, the vinyl, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.999,"endTime":1159.379,"body":"vinyl before, yeah, so, yeah. He"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.999,"endTime":1159.379,"body":"got me into basically, and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.379,"endTime":1164.739,"body":"I started doing comedy, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.379,"endTime":1164.739,"body":"know, like, eight years later, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.739,"endTime":1165.759,"body":"would say, when"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1165.759,"endTime":1168.339,"body":"did you finally"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1165.759,"endTime":1168.339,"body":"break out? Break out. Like, when"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1168.339,"endTime":1172.239,"body":"did you, like, break out from"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1168.339,"endTime":1172.239,"body":"your mom. How old were you? Oh,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1172.239,"endTime":1175.059,"body":"like, when did you leave to go"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1172.239,"endTime":1175.059,"body":"out on your own? Did you go to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1175.059,"endTime":1175.599,"body":"college? Did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1175.6,"endTime":1180.3,"body":"you go to college? I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1175.6,"endTime":1180.3,"body":"did so my mom made me. I had the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.72,"endTime":1184.56,"body":"boyfriend that nobody liked. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.72,"endTime":1184.56,"body":"didn't want to go away to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.56,"endTime":1189.48,"body":"college. I'm not a partier. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.56,"endTime":1189.48,"body":"I like to read, but I got into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.48,"endTime":1195.24,"body":"Florida State, and she made me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.48,"endTime":1195.24,"body":"made me go. She's like, No,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.24,"endTime":1198.06,"body":"you're going. I'm like, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.24,"endTime":1198.06,"body":"could go to community college"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.06,"endTime":1201.14,"body":"and it's right here. And they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.06,"endTime":1201.14,"body":"like, No. And. Plus my stepdad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1201.14,"endTime":1204.86,"body":"was so much older, he'd raised"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1201.14,"endTime":1204.86,"body":"his kid, so he wanted me out. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.86,"endTime":1209.66,"body":"17, I drove nine hours to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.86,"endTime":1209.66,"body":"Florida State in my Chevy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.66,"endTime":1213.8,"body":"Chevette. But then I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.66,"endTime":1213.8,"body":"hated it, so the next year, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.8,"endTime":1218.0,"body":"moved back in with them and went"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.8,"endTime":1218.0,"body":"to school locally. But then when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1218.0,"endTime":1222.04,"body":"I was 22 my stepdad was like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1218.0,"endTime":1222.04,"body":"starting he's like taking me to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.04,"endTime":1226.18,"body":"look at apartments that are in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.04,"endTime":1226.18,"body":"terrible places, but you know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.18,"endTime":1230.74,"body":"that I could afford. So I moved"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.18,"endTime":1230.74,"body":"in with the man who is now my ex"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1230.74,"endTime":1237.58,"body":"husband, because they wanted me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1230.74,"endTime":1237.58,"body":"out and you know he had room. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.58,"endTime":1241.74,"body":"I just moved in with him, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.58,"endTime":1241.74,"body":"tell my son now, you know, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.74,"endTime":1243.78,"body":"wouldn't be here if my parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.74,"endTime":1243.78,"body":"were nicer,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1244.8,"endTime":1246.48,"body":"because he's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1244.8,"endTime":1246.48,"body":"from your first marriage. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1246.48,"endTime":1247.68,"body":"yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.74,"endTime":1251.4,"body":"But he, he gets along"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.74,"endTime":1251.4,"body":"with Chris better, I would say."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1252.06,"endTime":1256.32,"body":"But isn't it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1252.06,"endTime":1256.32,"body":"kind of interesting, though, had"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1256.32,"endTime":1260.3,"body":"you not had a different"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1256.32,"endTime":1260.3,"body":"approach, or some, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1260.3,"endTime":1264.14,"body":"just a different mindset having"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1260.3,"endTime":1264.14,"body":"lived through that, how easy it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1264.14,"endTime":1266.96,"body":"would have been for you to fall"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1264.14,"endTime":1266.96,"body":"into the same trap that your mom"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1266.96,"endTime":1267.26,"body":"did."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1268.579,"endTime":1271.579,"body":"I did repeat some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1268.579,"endTime":1271.579,"body":"her behavior. I mean, I, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1271.579,"endTime":1276.619,"body":"know, have divorce. I I did hit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1271.579,"endTime":1276.619,"body":"Sergio when he was younger. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1276.619,"endTime":1280.419,"body":"think when he was about eight is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1276.619,"endTime":1280.419,"body":"when I, I met Chris, and I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.419,"endTime":1284.139,"body":"just like, I need to learn how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.419,"endTime":1284.139,"body":"to be a parent. I can't, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1284.139,"endTime":1289.419,"body":"know, I can't hit him. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1284.139,"endTime":1289.419,"body":"just not helpful. And he's so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1289.419,"endTime":1293.259,"body":"smart, even as a little kid,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1289.419,"endTime":1293.259,"body":"that helped me to be able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.259,"endTime":1297.279,"body":"talk to him instead of lose my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.259,"endTime":1297.279,"body":"shit, right? So I did have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1297.279,"endTime":1299.679,"body":"therapist. When I was going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1297.279,"endTime":1299.679,"body":"through my divorce, I went to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1299.679,"endTime":1304.319,"body":"therapist, and, like I said, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1299.679,"endTime":1304.319,"body":"never thought really much about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.319,"endTime":1309.239,"body":"how old I was when I was abused."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1304.319,"endTime":1309.239,"body":"I was two, and she said, how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1309.239,"endTime":1312.299,"body":"that? She said, That's profound"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1309.239,"endTime":1312.299,"body":"abuse. How are you not on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.299,"endTime":1315.899,"body":"corner right now? And I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1312.299,"endTime":1315.899,"body":"said, because I don't want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.199,"endTime":1316.619,"body":"be, I don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1316.62,"endTime":1321.08,"body":"know it's a it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1316.62,"endTime":1321.08,"body":"a good testament to your strong"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1321.08,"endTime":1325.76,"body":"will, because I can totally, I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1321.08,"endTime":1325.76,"body":"mean, when I went through my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1325.76,"endTime":1329.18,"body":"divorce, I did a lot of self"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1325.76,"endTime":1329.18,"body":"work, right? Because you have"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1329.18,"endTime":1331.82,"body":"to, and I didn't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1329.18,"endTime":1331.82,"body":"want to go to a therapist, so I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1331.82,"endTime":1335.66,"body":"said, Okay, well, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1331.82,"endTime":1335.66,"body":"read. And boy, did I learn a lot"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1335.66,"endTime":1340.28,"body":"about myself and my behaviors."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1335.66,"endTime":1340.28,"body":"Like, you know, I was, I was,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1340.58,"endTime":1342.88,"body":"you know, we were both latchkey"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1340.58,"endTime":1342.88,"body":"kids, but I was the latchkey"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1342.88,"endTime":1345.94,"body":"kid. And, you know, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1342.88,"endTime":1345.94,"body":"understand why I kept chasing"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1346.18,"endTime":1349.84,"body":"after unemotionally, emotionally"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1346.18,"endTime":1349.84,"body":"unavailable people, and that I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1349.84,"endTime":1352.42,"body":"was an emotionally unavailable"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1349.84,"endTime":1352.42,"body":"person. But why am I an"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1352.42,"endTime":1355.3,"body":"emotionally unavailable person?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1352.42,"endTime":1355.3,"body":"Because I got no emotion at home"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1355.3,"endTime":1357.52,"body":"kind of thing. And it's like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1355.3,"endTime":1357.52,"body":"once you start going through"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1357.52,"endTime":1360.3,"body":"this, and you start, and then"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1357.52,"endTime":1360.3,"body":"you get to the point that, until"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1360.3,"endTime":1362.34,"body":"you work on yourself, you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1360.3,"endTime":1362.34,"body":"going to keep chasing that."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1362.52,"endTime":1365.34,"body":"You're going to keep chasing"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1362.52,"endTime":1365.34,"body":"whether it's mommy issues or"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1365.34,"endTime":1369.36,"body":"daddy issues. You're going to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1365.34,"endTime":1369.36,"body":"keep trying to for me, it was,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1369.36,"endTime":1372.54,"body":"you know, my stepdad. I could"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1369.36,"endTime":1372.54,"body":"never, I was never good enough"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1373.02,"endTime":1377.04,"body":"for him, and if I was, he didn't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1373.02,"endTime":1377.04,"body":"let me know. It was always, You"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1377.04,"endTime":1379.74,"body":"could do this better. You could"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1377.04,"endTime":1379.74,"body":"do that better. So I was always"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1379.74,"endTime":1383.96,"body":"in my entire life. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1379.74,"endTime":1383.96,"body":"in my dating life, in my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1383.96,"endTime":1386.84,"body":"marriage life, in my post"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1383.96,"endTime":1386.84,"body":"marriage life, I was always"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1386.84,"endTime":1390.32,"body":"trying to prove that I was"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1386.84,"endTime":1390.32,"body":"worthy, and because I was trying"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1390.32,"endTime":1393.62,"body":"to prove it to the wrong people."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1390.32,"endTime":1393.62,"body":"So, I mean, we were destined to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1393.62,"endTime":1398.66,"body":"repeat these patterns until we"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1393.62,"endTime":1398.66,"body":"finally go, okay, until we can"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1398.66,"endTime":1403.9,"body":"name it right. Once you can name"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1398.66,"endTime":1403.9,"body":"it, then you're like, oh, okay,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1404.44,"endTime":1407.92,"body":"now, now, let's get our ish"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1404.44,"endTime":1407.92,"body":"together, and let's, let's start"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1407.92,"endTime":1411.88,"body":"from here, right? I came into"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1407.92,"endTime":1411.88,"body":"that naming thing a couple of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1411.88,"endTime":1417.4,"body":"years ago. What years? This is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1411.88,"endTime":1417.4,"body":"2024, so my youngest moved out"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1417.76,"endTime":1422.76,"body":"to of the house like so the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1417.76,"endTime":1422.76,"body":"beginning of empty nesting. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1422.82,"endTime":1426.36,"body":"I was so it was, I didn't put a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1422.82,"endTime":1426.36,"body":"name to it, but I was, like, a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1426.36,"endTime":1429.06,"body":"couple of months later, I was"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1426.36,"endTime":1429.06,"body":"like, What is wrong with me?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1429.06,"endTime":1432.18,"body":"Like, I'm just like, meh. Like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1429.06,"endTime":1432.18,"body":"I don't want to do this. I don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1436.2,"body":"want to do that. And it finally"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1436.2,"body":"clicked on me that I was"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1436.2,"endTime":1441.02,"body":"depressed, yeah, oh yeah. That,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1436.2,"endTime":1441.02,"body":"that huge piece of my life, of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1441.02,"endTime":1446.24,"body":"being an active mother, an"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1441.02,"endTime":1446.24,"body":"active parent, was done. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1446.24,"endTime":1449.72,"body":"once I put, once I put the once"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1446.24,"endTime":1449.72,"body":"I was able to label it, then I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1449.72,"endTime":1451.1,"body":"was able to fix it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.459,"endTime":1455.119,"body":"Yeah, no, that does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.459,"endTime":1455.119,"body":"help, um, with relationships, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1455.119,"endTime":1459.319,"body":"therapist I saw, um, before I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1455.119,"endTime":1459.319,"body":"even married my ex husband,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1459.679,"endTime":1463.899,"body":"which I shouldn't have, but said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1459.679,"endTime":1463.899,"body":"that I create chaos. Because if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.899,"endTime":1467.679,"body":"you're used to chaos, if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.899,"endTime":1467.679,"body":"grew up with chaos, you recreate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1467.679,"endTime":1472.119,"body":"it. So in relationships, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1467.679,"endTime":1472.119,"body":"either the abused or the abuser,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.119,"endTime":1475.719,"body":"not physical. I've never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.119,"endTime":1475.719,"body":"physically abused a man, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1475.839,"endTime":1479.679,"body":"just, you know, cheated,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1475.839,"endTime":1479.679,"body":"laughed, whatever you know, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.219,"endTime":1484.739,"body":"hurt them somehow. So I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.219,"endTime":1484.739,"body":"when I met Chris, a couple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1484.739,"endTime":1488.219,"body":"things had happened. I had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1484.739,"endTime":1488.219,"body":"talk to myself in my head, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1488.219,"endTime":1493.799,"body":"said, You do not have to date"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1488.219,"endTime":1493.799,"body":"men who need to be fixed, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.219,"endTime":1498.059,"body":"you can just date someone who's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.219,"endTime":1498.059,"body":"nice to you like you can allow,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.419,"endTime":1502.159,"body":"you can allow that to happen."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.419,"endTime":1502.159,"body":"You. Know so and you don't have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.159,"endTime":1507.079,"body":"to try to destroy it, because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.159,"endTime":1507.079,"body":"did. I remember one time when we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.079,"endTime":1510.499,"body":"were engaged, like being real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.079,"endTime":1510.499,"body":"mean to him, and he was just and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1510.499,"endTime":1512.899,"body":"then I caught myself. I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1510.499,"endTime":1512.899,"body":"What am I doing?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1513.2,"endTime":1515.84,"body":"I've had to have"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1513.2,"endTime":1515.84,"body":"the conversation several times"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1515.84,"endTime":1518.24,"body":"with people, and I did the same"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1515.84,"endTime":1518.24,"body":"thing until I did the work on"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1518.24,"endTime":1524.86,"body":"myself, which is the whole"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1518.24,"endTime":1524.86,"body":"Spark, the butterflies, yes. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1524.92,"endTime":1530.26,"body":"I'm like, I've had I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1524.92,"endTime":1530.26,"body":"that's not good. Society has has"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1530.26,"endTime":1534.04,"body":"lied to us and told us that if"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1530.26,"endTime":1534.04,"body":"you don't feel sparks and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1534.04,"endTime":1538.12,"body":"butterflies, it's not the right"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1534.04,"endTime":1538.12,"body":"person. And I'm like, Oh no,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1538.36,"endTime":1541.74,"body":"that's your body telling you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1538.36,"endTime":1541.74,"body":"run, that's your fight or flight"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1541.74,"endTime":1545.7,"body":"coming in, and that's an"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1541.74,"endTime":1545.7,"body":"adrenaline and safe feels boring"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1545.7,"endTime":1547.2,"body":"because you don't feel that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.88,"endTime":1551.88,"body":"No, for sure, for sure,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.88,"endTime":1551.88,"body":"the relationship I had in high"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1551.88,"endTime":1555.12,"body":"school my senior year wasted my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1551.88,"endTime":1555.12,"body":"whole senior year on this. This"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1555.12,"endTime":1559.08,"body":"guy was like that, butterflies"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1555.12,"endTime":1559.08,"body":"and excitement, and I lost a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.08,"endTime":1562.94,"body":"bunch of weight because I wasn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.08,"endTime":1562.94,"body":"eating and, you know, it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1562.94,"endTime":1564.08,"body":"Yeah, and it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1564.08,"endTime":1565.16,"body":"was your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1564.08,"endTime":1565.16,"body":"adrenaline,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1565.52,"endTime":1566.12,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1566.539,"endTime":1568.459,"body":"How's the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1566.539,"endTime":1568.459,"body":"process? We're gonna segue a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1568.459,"endTime":1570.679,"body":"little bit, because we're"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1568.459,"endTime":1570.679,"body":"probably got about another 10"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1570.679,"endTime":1574.219,"body":"minutes left. But let's talk"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1570.679,"endTime":1574.219,"body":"about the process, the fun part"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1574.219,"endTime":1577.819,"body":"of writing a book. So, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1574.219,"endTime":1577.819,"body":"I've never actually written my"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1577.819,"endTime":1581.559,"body":"own book. I had, you know, when"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1577.819,"endTime":1581.559,"body":"I contributed, it was somebody"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1581.559,"endTime":1584.019,"body":"else taking care of it. What"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1581.559,"endTime":1584.019,"body":"happens now? Okay, so the book"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1584.019,"endTime":1587.079,"body":"comes out in November, after the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1584.019,"endTime":1587.079,"body":"election. She made sure to point"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1587.079,"endTime":1587.679,"body":"out after the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1587.68,"endTime":1588.82,"body":"election nothing to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1587.68,"endTime":1588.82,"body":"with"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1591.46,"endTime":1594.52,"body":"so the book so"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1591.46,"endTime":1594.52,"body":"you are, is it done? Has it gone"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1594.52,"endTime":1597.04,"body":"to print yet? I know you had"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1594.52,"endTime":1597.04,"body":"mentioned to me that you had"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1597.04,"endTime":1598.3,"body":"some more edits. Editing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1598.84,"endTime":1603.0,"body":"yeah, I'm doing one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1598.84,"endTime":1603.0,"body":"more revision, because I sent it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1603.0,"endTime":1607.92,"body":"a couple months ago to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1603.0,"endTime":1607.92,"body":"developmental editor, and she,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.98,"endTime":1613.5,"body":"you know, really said, No, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.98,"endTime":1613.5,"body":"need to do a lot here. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.5,"endTime":1618.3,"body":"doing what she said, and I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.5,"endTime":1618.3,"body":"probably, it'll probably be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.3,"endTime":1622.88,"body":"completed, completed by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.3,"endTime":1622.88,"body":"September 15, and then that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.88,"endTime":1626.48,"body":"would give me a couple months to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.88,"endTime":1626.48,"body":"do things like this, and, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1626.48,"endTime":1631.04,"body":"know, all those other things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1626.48,"endTime":1631.04,"body":"promote I guess I'm not good at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.04,"endTime":1635.18,"body":"that, but I have to try. Now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.04,"endTime":1635.18,"body":"It's been fun. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1635.18,"endTime":1637.16,"body":"then, so then"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1635.18,"endTime":1637.16,"body":"the book goes on sale. You know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1637.16,"endTime":1641.08,"body":"it's not like the it's not like"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1637.16,"endTime":1641.08,"body":"they, they used to make it seem"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1641.08,"endTime":1643.78,"body":"in the movies and TV shows"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1641.08,"endTime":1643.78,"body":"you're not going on like, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1643.78,"endTime":1645.46,"body":"know, 50 city tour."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1646.12,"endTime":1650.62,"body":"No, no. I very much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1646.12,"endTime":1650.62,"body":"want Jenna Bush Hagar to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1650.62,"endTime":1654.1,"body":"interview me on the Today Show."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1650.62,"endTime":1654.1,"body":"But, you know, I don't, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1654.1,"endTime":1657.22,"body":"think I just can call her and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1654.1,"endTime":1657.22,"body":"say, hey,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1657.28,"endTime":1658.6,"body":"why not, bestie?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.599,"endTime":1663.059,"body":"I'm stopping in. Hey,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.599,"endTime":1663.059,"body":"happen to be in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1663.06,"endTime":1665.94,"body":"the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1663.06,"endTime":1665.94,"body":"neighborhood, yeah, well, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1665.94,"endTime":1669.6,"body":"should, and then are you going"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1665.94,"endTime":1669.6,"body":"to do anything else? Is this"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1669.6,"endTime":1672.42,"body":"your one and done? Do you think"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1669.6,"endTime":1672.42,"body":"this will motivate you to do"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1672.9,"endTime":1674.94,"body":"other published pieces? Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1674.94,"endTime":1678.54,"body":"I am working on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1674.94,"endTime":1678.54,"body":"journal with with prompts, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1678.54,"endTime":1681.98,"body":"it's called say nope to normal."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1678.54,"endTime":1681.98,"body":"So I am going to get that out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.98,"endTime":1687.08,"body":"sometime after the book. I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.98,"endTime":1687.08,"body":"to speak more, because I know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.08,"endTime":1689.78,"body":"you know, this kind of thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.08,"endTime":1689.78,"body":"happens to a lot of people out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1689.78,"endTime":1694.88,"body":"there, so I would like to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1689.78,"endTime":1694.88,"body":"speak. I find it easy to speak"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1695.0,"endTime":1700.04,"body":"about my abuse. I i tend, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1695.0,"endTime":1700.04,"body":"know, like I said, I tend to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1700.04,"endTime":1704.92,"body":"make other people uncomfortable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1700.04,"endTime":1704.92,"body":"when I talk about it, but I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.92,"endTime":1709.78,"body":"talk about it, I don't know. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.92,"endTime":1709.78,"body":"see myself trying to help"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.02,"endTime":1715.72,"body":"younger women and girls more to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.02,"endTime":1715.72,"body":"get through that, to move on. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1715.72,"endTime":1717.94,"body":"think it will,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1715.72,"endTime":1717.94,"body":"yeah, and I think it will. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1717.94,"endTime":1723.84,"body":"mean, it kind of goes back to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1717.94,"endTime":1723.84,"body":"you know, it's a catastrophic"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1723.84,"endTime":1729.0,"body":"thing to have happen, right? And"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1723.84,"endTime":1729.0,"body":"it can very easily define the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1729.0,"endTime":1733.98,"body":"rest of your life. And there has"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1729.0,"endTime":1733.98,"body":"to be a choice made. Because if"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1733.98,"endTime":1736.32,"body":"you don't make a choice, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1733.98,"endTime":1736.32,"body":"not saying get over it, right?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1736.32,"endTime":1740.3,"body":"Because do you ever really get"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1736.32,"endTime":1740.3,"body":"over it however, you can make"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1740.3,"endTime":1743.48,"body":"the choice to whether or not how"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1740.3,"endTime":1743.48,"body":"much it's going to define you in"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1743.48,"endTime":1747.86,"body":"your life and your future. You"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1743.48,"endTime":1747.86,"body":"know it's, it's just, it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1747.86,"endTime":1751.4,"body":"something I'd never wish on"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1747.86,"endTime":1751.4,"body":"anyone, but how you choose to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1751.4,"endTime":1755.66,"body":"move on with your life, it says"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1751.4,"endTime":1755.66,"body":"a lot about you and a lot about"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1755.66,"endTime":1758.66,"body":"the family and friends that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1755.66,"endTime":1758.66,"body":"surround you and support you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1758.66,"endTime":1762.34,"body":"through this. I think it's I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1758.66,"endTime":1762.34,"body":"think it's fantastic. I'm glad"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1762.34,"endTime":1765.58,"body":"you did it. I'm glad I've known"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1762.34,"endTime":1765.58,"body":"you so you know the name of the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1765.58,"endTime":1772.66,"body":"book is chasing normal, just as"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1765.58,"endTime":1772.66,"body":"we close out in your eight year"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1772.66,"endTime":1779.14,"body":"old, nine year old self, what"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1772.66,"endTime":1779.14,"body":"was normal to you? I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1779.14,"endTime":1782.94,"body":"had friends who, okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1779.14,"endTime":1782.94,"body":"so Jenny was my best friend in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.94,"endTime":1788.04,"body":"eighth grade. Her mom stayed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.94,"endTime":1788.04,"body":"home, and she was nice. She"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1788.04,"endTime":1792.24,"body":"didn't scream at us or anything."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1788.04,"endTime":1792.24,"body":"Jenny was in Girl Scouts, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1792.24,"endTime":1799.38,"body":"she took dance classes, and her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1792.24,"endTime":1799.38,"body":"mom cooked like we were big on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1799.38,"endTime":1803.66,"body":"TV dinner. And drive through,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1799.38,"endTime":1803.66,"body":"you know, and and her dad did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1803.66,"endTime":1807.74,"body":"not sexually abuse her, so it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1803.66,"endTime":1807.74,"body":"was just like that, like that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1807.74,"endTime":1812.06,"body":"was normal. And so in high"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1807.74,"endTime":1812.06,"body":"school, and later, when I dated"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1812.06,"endTime":1816.68,"body":"people that I was not compatible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1812.06,"endTime":1816.68,"body":"with, part of it was, Oh, his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1816.68,"endTime":1821.86,"body":"family is normal. And then I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1816.68,"endTime":1821.86,"body":"could be in that family, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.86,"endTime":1822.64,"body":"know, and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1822.64,"endTime":1826.9,"body":"now you know it."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1822.64,"endTime":1826.9,"body":"When did your definition of"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1826.9,"endTime":1830.86,"body":"normal change? And then what"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1826.9,"endTime":1830.86,"body":"does normal look like to you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1830.86,"endTime":1831.34,"body":"now?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.459,"endTime":1836.019,"body":"Oh, I'm never gonna be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.459,"endTime":1836.019,"body":"normal, because I, you know, I,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.019,"endTime":1840.099,"body":"I say whatever comes to my mind,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.019,"endTime":1840.099,"body":"I'm like Sophia on the Golden"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1840.099,"endTime":1844.319,"body":"Girls. That's who I identify"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1840.099,"endTime":1844.319,"body":"with. Yeah, normal is anything,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1844.319,"endTime":1848.219,"body":"but that is your normal, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1844.319,"endTime":1848.219,"body":"my normal is that I'm a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.219,"endTime":1852.779,"body":"nutty. Is, and I didn't realize."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.219,"endTime":1852.779,"body":"I mean, I think it took me a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1852.779,"endTime":1854.939,"body":"long time, is, when I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1852.779,"endTime":1854.939,"body":"younger, I thought, yeah, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.939,"endTime":1859.199,"body":"sexually abused, but I'm fine."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.939,"endTime":1859.199,"body":"No, I wasn't fine. You know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1859.619,"endTime":1863.479,"body":"just burying it?"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1859.619,"endTime":1863.479,"body":"Yeah, it's just like the gift"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1863.479,"endTime":1865.279,"body":"that keeps on giving until you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1863.479,"endTime":1865.279,"body":"unwrap it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.66,"endTime":1869.12,"body":"That's a good thing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.66,"endTime":1869.12,"body":"Yeah, that's a good thought. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.12,"endTime":1869.9,"body":"need that printed."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1873.26,"endTime":1876.32,"body":"Lisa, thank you"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1873.26,"endTime":1876.32,"body":"so much for taking time to tell"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1876.32,"endTime":1878.78,"body":"your story. Can't wait. I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1876.32,"endTime":1878.78,"body":"gonna finish the book and I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1878.78,"endTime":1882.94,"body":"gonna get you your quote, your"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1878.78,"endTime":1882.94,"body":"review, I promise, because I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1882.94,"endTime":1885.22,"body":"know it's important, and see"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1882.94,"endTime":1885.22,"body":"that's why I have to have a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1885.22,"endTime":1888.52,"body":"deadline. Because if you don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1885.22,"endTime":1888.52,"body":"give me a deadline, I'll be"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1888.52,"endTime":1891.16,"body":"like, my deadline is coming,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1888.52,"endTime":1891.16,"body":"because you said I need to have"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1891.16,"endTime":1893.02,"body":"it by September. And I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1891.16,"endTime":1893.02,"body":"Okay, I got it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.22,"endTime":1898.0,"body":"Thank you. Yeah, I do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.22,"endTime":1898.0,"body":"want to put something inside the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1898.0,"endTime":1902.28,"body":"book to have a page of quotes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1898.0,"endTime":1902.28,"body":"So, oh, nice to do that. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.34,"endTime":1902.76,"body":"very"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1902.759,"endTime":1905.399,"body":"nice little and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1902.759,"endTime":1905.399,"body":"I like the journal. You know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1905.399,"endTime":1908.219,"body":"journaling is good and you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1905.399,"endTime":1908.219,"body":"it helps us. Writing things down"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1908.219,"endTime":1911.399,"body":"helps us process a lot. You"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1908.219,"endTime":1911.399,"body":"know, just getting it out"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1911.399,"endTime":1913.859,"body":"sometimes, you know, just"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1911.399,"endTime":1913.859,"body":"putting it on paper is the first"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1913.859,"endTime":1917.699,"body":"step to really getting things"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1913.859,"endTime":1917.699,"body":"out. The catharticism of it is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1917.759,"endTime":1921.859,"body":"really good. So Well, the best"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1917.759,"endTime":1921.859,"body":"of luck to you. I hope it lands"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1921.859,"endTime":1926.359,"body":"on the New York Times bestseller"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1921.859,"endTime":1926.359,"body":"list. But more importantly, I"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1926.359,"endTime":1930.739,"body":"just hope you have fun with it"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1926.359,"endTime":1930.739,"body":"and that it is everything that"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1930.739,"endTime":1934.939,"body":"you want it to be. So thanks"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1930.739,"endTime":1934.939,"body":"again, everybody. Thank you."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1934.939,"endTime":1938.779,"body":"This has been an insightful and"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1934.939,"endTime":1938.779,"body":"you know, different"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1938.779,"endTime":1941.559,"body":"conversation, which I love. You"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1938.779,"endTime":1941.559,"body":"know, I love me some good"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1941.559,"endTime":1945.279,"body":"conversations. I hope everyone"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1941.559,"endTime":1945.279,"body":"is well and until the next time"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1945.339,"endTime":1951.459,"body":"we speak again or listen again,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1945.339,"endTime":1951.459,"body":"May the road before you always"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1951.459,"endTime":1954.879,"body":"be free of snow. How's that one"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1951.459,"endTime":1954.879,"body":"for this week? All right, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1954.879,"endTime":1958.839,"body":"Ready Talk to you later. As the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1954.879,"endTime":1958.839,"body":"saying goes, you don't have to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1958.839,"endTime":1961.859,"body":"go home, but you can stay here,"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1958.839,"endTime":1961.859,"body":"and that's a wrap for this"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1961.859,"endTime":1964.919,"body":"week's episode. A big thanks to"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1961.859,"endTime":1964.919,"body":"my guests for sharing their"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1964.919,"endTime":1968.219,"body":"story and to you for listening."},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1964.919,"endTime":1968.219,"body":"Don't forget to share the show"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1968.219,"endTime":1970.979,"body":"with your friends and spread the"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1968.219,"endTime":1970.979,"body":"words. And if you'd like to be a"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1970.979,"endTime":1973.739,"body":"guest on the show, the link is"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1970.979,"endTime":1973.739,"body":"in the show notes till next"},{"speaker":"Kristen Daukas","startTime":1973.739,"endTime":1975.059,"body":"time. Cheers. You."}]}