Sexualizing Your Dynamic

In this episode, Lady Petra and SafferMaster discuss how to sexualize your D/s dynamic over an Aperol and Limoncello Cocktail. 

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Transcript

Lady Petra 0:01

You're listening to cocktail hour, a conversation between adults about sex forward relationships, kinky lifestyles, and frank communication. If you're under 18, please stop listening and visit Scarletteen.com.[inaudible] I'm lady Petra. My pronouns are she her and hers. I'm Saffermaster. My pronouns are him his and he, And this is Kinky Cocktail Hour. Cheers. So what are we drinking today? We, We are having something new and it's called an Aperol and lemon cello cocktail. sure is pretty. Yeah. So it's equal parts of one part of vodka and lemon cello, and then two parts of Aperol or compari. I used Aperol this time since that's the name of the, of the drink and we just got Aperol. So we're trying to play with it and then three parts of orange juice.

SafferMaster 1:06

Okay.

Lady Petra 1:06

And then a smidgen of triple sec.

SafferMaster 1:12

Wow. Lets taste. Yeah. It's very interesting It's like fruity,

Lady Petra 1:19

very orangy.

SafferMaster 1:21

Orangy. Yeah. It's got like a reminds me of like a.

Lady Petra 1:25

creamsicle.

SafferMaster 1:26

Yeah. It's like a little bit of creamcicle

Lady Petra 1:28

It just doesn't have the cream part of it. You could make this into a creamcicle though, by adding a little cream, you know, because it tastes like that.

SafferMaster 1:36

It really does.

Lady Petra 1:38

Isn't that great?

SafferMaster 1:39

Yeah.

Lady Petra 1:40

Its a Summer summary type drink, but we haven't used, uh, Limoncello is one of those liquors that is put in a lot of things like sparkling wine or soda. T here's w hat's a spritzes but I wanted to see what other c ocktails could you make with that? This was pretty good.

SafferMaster 1:59

Yeah. It's not too bad at all. Yeah. A little ice scream. It'll go a long way.

Lady Petra 2:02

I know. I know.

SafferMaster 2:05

Kind of a hot sex day.

Lady Petra 2:07

Real hot sex day.

SafferMaster 2:08

Yeah.

Lady Petra 2:08

Yeah, definitely.

SafferMaster 2:10

Yeah. And it was made hot for a lot of reasons. I mean, first of all, I just love fucking you.

Lady Petra 2:17

We look forward to it.

SafferMaster 2:19

We Do. We actually do. And there was some pent up energy.

Lady Petra 2:25

Oh yeah.

SafferMaster 2:26

Yeah. So that was there. And then I told you that there was a box of jewelry that just arrived for you earlier today.

Lady Petra 2:37

Right.

SafferMaster 2:39

And you got your jewelry.

Lady Petra 2:42

Yes. And put it on

SafferMaster 2:43

Why don't you tell us what it is?

Lady Petra 2:47

It's Clit Jewelry.

SafferMaster 2:47

Surely it's clit jewelry basically.

Lady Petra 2:49

Yeah. It's a Bejeweled metal piece that fits around the perimeter of your clitoris.

SafferMaster 2:55

Yeah.

Lady Petra 2:56

And then your lips kind of stay to the side and then it's, and then it like elastic, like g-string type attachment. Yeah. And you know, I've seen him before and I've, I've been like, Oh, bejewel, your pussy, you know, and never really thought about anything other than it's bejeweling, but I had a different experience with it.

SafferMaster 3:18

Yeah.

Lady Petra 3:19

When my lips are spread and that's put in place for one, it keeps your lips open. Right. So you forget how wonderful your lips are in protecting your clitoris and keeping it moist and happy and warm. And now it's just open. And it reminds me of why I use or how I use a vibrator because it's the nerve bed that's on the base of the clitoris that goes in the perimeter.

SafferMaster 3:47

Yeah

Lady Petra 3:48

That is so highly sensitive. That's where I orgasm the most. That's why I, if your is rubbing up through there, that's why that base is so sensitive, right?

SafferMaster 3:59

Yeah.

Lady Petra 3:59

Well, the edges of this jewelry just drive themselves into that area the whole time. So they're constantly stimulating those nerves right there all the time.

SafferMaster 4:12

Right.

Lady Petra 4:12

Where the tissue is usually lax and it's away from the nerves and it's pulled, you know, naturally pulled up because it's not being pushed back, which is very similar. Like when you, you know, eat my, you spread me open, which then pulls the nerves up and the skin down. And therefore I'm way more sensitive because it's, the nerves are engaged. Well, this is kind of what this did. And it was really hard to concentrate all day long. Like I was very aware that I had this jewelry piece on all day long. It wasn't like sometimes even when you do quit pumping or nipple pumping, you know, it's on. But there is a point where it's somewhat desensitized after it's full is going to be, and it's not like you forget about it, but you aren't getting a constant stimulation. Like you were in the beginning, this was constant,

SafferMaster 5:02

Right? Yeah. I kept asking you how you're feeling and you were like, I'm really excited. Yeah.

Lady Petra 5:08

Yeah. Like when I took it off to get ready and prepared.

SafferMaster 5:12

Yeah.

Lady Petra 5:13

You know, I had creamed all over the g-string, so I'm just like, gee whiz. I'm a mess already. You know, we haven't even started to play yet..

SafferMaster 5:21

Yeah, I think the thought of you wearing that jewelry all day had me like sort of aroused.

Lady Petra 5:33

Wound up?

SafferMaster 5:33

Just emotionally aroused, like thinking of it. And you know, I come back from my walk and you presented yourself, you've got clips on your nipples and your clit jewelry is on and you present your chain to me and I bring you over to the chair. And I just look at you in that little g-string with the little clit jewelry. It's just so sexy. And when I came back, you know, I had tied my up with that ring.

Lady Petra 6:05

Right, right.

SafferMaster 6:05

You know, so that's already arousing. And what I did was I took a vibrator to you.

Lady Petra 6:11

Yes.

SafferMaster 6:12

And so I'm taking advantage of the fact that you're aroused.

Lady Petra 6:17

Yes.

SafferMaster 6:17

and exposed.

Lady Petra 6:19

Yes.

SafferMaster 6:20

And so how did that occur for you?

Lady Petra 6:21

It's crazy because it's not as if the Viber touches, my my clit is what is going to set me on fire. What was setting me at fires. You'd moved to the top where the Bejeweled part was.

SafferMaster 6:32

Yeah.

Lady Petra 6:33

And basically if that's the heaviest piece of jewelry.

SafferMaster 6:36

Yeah.

Lady Petra 6:36

But when you vibe there, it sends the vibration completely in a full circle, around the perimeter, on all the nerves at the same time. And it's overwhelming, you know, I wonder, you know, when I use the Hitachi, cause I love the Hitachi, you know, that's how I use it on myself in, in that base motion. Yes. It's going by my clitt and I get that, but that, isn't what gets me from zero to 60.

SafferMaster 7:06

Right.

Lady Petra 7:06

it's those base nerves that are, and I always thought, like I remember telling you is we even did a pod on this. And I think I thought I was broken. Right. Because just stimulated only, you know, with these little teeny handheld vibes, these little teeny things people use and just touch the tip of the clip and I'd be like, no, that's not doing it. That isn't what does it, my sensation is all in that base. And it's crazy. Once I got to a higher powered vibrator and got to understanding how to use it on me versus what everyone else said to do, it was like crazy orgasms. And so that's what that was like. I was like, Oh my God, it's happening, you know, and no control over myself.

SafferMaster 7:52

And then of course, just sex with you was astonishing.

Lady Petra 7:55

It was so much fun.

SafferMaster 7:56

Yeah. And then, um, I flogged you good I fucked you good.

Lady Petra 8:01

Flogged me really good. Yeah.

SafferMaster 8:03

Yeah. And then, then you rolled over and you took the little ch Bejeweled.

Lady Petra 8:07

thing down.

SafferMaster 8:08

off, and then I ate your. And I, my question is, was your more sensitive?

Lady Petra 8:14

It's crazy. The clip was more sensitive because it had been set apart but itself. And I had pumped it before I put the jewelry on right before you got home too. So I had kind of stimulated it prior. Yeah. I mean, oral is totally different. It's a totally different sensation because you've also got warm, moist touch happening there.

SafferMaster 8:39

I guess my question is though, could that jewelry alter your experience oral?

Lady Petra 8:45

Uh, no, I don't think so. I think it's two separate things.

SafferMaster 8:50

Okay.

Lady Petra 8:50

Yeah.

SafferMaster 8:51

That's good. Yeah. Yeah. So you're one, the experiences of the day, that is what this podcast is about. Is this broader question of how do you sexualize a dynamic? And this is an example of how you sexualize a dynamic. What I mean by that is in any relationship, sex can be something that happens between a couple of regularly or intermittently and life gets in the way in the middle. Right. And I can imagine certainly from my own experience, I imagine from other people's experience that oftentimes sex gets put to the side and in a dynamic where there's a power dynamic occurring of any sort or a DS dynamic of any sort. The question is how do you keep the context of the dynamic sexual and you, and I both believe that a healthy sex context, we are in a sex forward kink forward dynamic, that was kind of what we created, but in a healthy sexual dynamic, the context is sexual, not just the sex is sexual.

Lady Petra 10:09

Right, right. Oh, I mean, yes, there are all different things happening in a scene. However, I feel throughout our scene-ing, it's all sexualized. And I mean that because for me, if, if you're flogging me, I'm cumming.

SafferMaster 10:28

Right.

Lady Petra 10:30

And you're usually stroking your cock and things like that. And when I'm caned, I've cum before and then of course you in the way we do that as cane and then you fuck my ass, that ki nd o f t hing. And it brings that context. So we ju st, we stay like really connected to that context all the time

SafferMaster 10:52

In a scene.

Lady Petra 10:53

Yes.

SafferMaster 10:54

I'm arguing that there's a broader context to our dynamic that's sexualized.

Lady Petra 10:59

No. Yeah. I agree. I agree with you.

SafferMaster 11:01

Yeah. And what I'm arguing is that there's a way to keep the dynamic sexualized so that the sexual scenes aren't really exciting and hot and you don't have to sort of get up for them.

Lady Petra 11:13

Well, I definitely think the way we foreplay.

SafferMaster 11:17

yes, as an example,

Lady Petra 11:17

All day long or two days ahead or whatever.

SafferMaster 11:21

Yeah.

Lady Petra 11:22

I think that's a perfect example of creating, um, excitement and intensity and a readiness to in your head versus not knowing what's happening next. What there's, this is one thing I noticed just based on the dynamic we've created we're sex forward. So we play all the time.

SafferMaster 11:41

Yes.

Lady Petra 11:42

You know, and, but we also have lives and work and stuff. So we tend to use the early part of our day to wake up and to get going with our days. And there could be sexualization happening there, but that's kind of what's happening. And then we save the latter part mid, mid to latter parts of our day as sceneing.

SafferMaster 12:04

Yeah.

Lady Petra 12:04

You know, but in that whole day there's sexualization. So if you think about it, you're, you're I get up early before you, cause I need to go to the gym and I need to go do some stuff. And my work hours are a lot earlier than yours. And so I get up and I do normal things, dynamic tasks, things, things that make me responsible for myself wellbeing and for the households wellbeing, what have you. But then I send you a picture of my marks,

SafferMaster 12:33

Right

Lady Petra 12:34

So that's a sex, that's sexualizing, you know, you know what I'm saying? And lately we've added picture of my toes and occasional add a picture of me kind of a fun, sexy type of picture with me right before we've even been face-to-face in the morning.

SafferMaster 12:52

Right.

Lady Petra 12:52

And then, you know, of course we make time to be affectionate when we greet each other in the morning, we don't take that for granted that it just, who, who lobby the bus, you know? So we make sure to do that. And then throughout the day, we're both responsible for greetings and for acknowledgement in an affectionate sexual way with one another,

SafferMaster 13:16

right.

Lady Petra 13:17

You also have given me tasks to do edging tasks or have explained when you go on your walk and I prepare myself what you expect me to do to prepare,

SafferMaster 13:31

right.

Lady Petra 13:32

Uh, that may not be the normal thing we do. It would be additional stuff. Or if you have a specifics on how you present yourself, you also then know there are times when of you're giving me freedom that you don't know what you're going to come home to. You might come home to me appearing any way, any which way, which is an excitement for you.

SafferMaster 13:51

Sure.

Lady Petra 13:51

You know, you going on your walk, knowing I'm getting prepared is sexualizing that time that you're away.

SafferMaster 17:04

It's very difficult to have a walk, try to listen to him. no way you're going to get home to a horny slut, presenting herself to be used.

Lady Petra 17:15

Yeah.

SafferMaster 17:16

And so, you know, I have to process my emotions and control my emotions while I'm out with the dog for, you know, half an hour to an hour. But I also know when I come home, so does the dog, because I tell him he's got to go to his kennel before he comes in the house and he knows he goes right to his cattle. So he doesn't disturb us

Lady Petra 17:38

Well, even, and we're using reminder right now, um, the app. And it's just a way to, for us to keep the context going throughout the day on our dynamic.

SafferMaster 17:49

Yeah. and actually, Weminder will soon be available for general use, which is exciting,

Lady Petra 17:54

Which is a huge deal.

SafferMaster 17:55

Yeah. And we've been beta testing it with Mako and it's just been fantastic its a really killer app, it really is. For a couple in a dynamic, it's a killer app.

Lady Petra 18:04

And so one of the things that is on there is I have a behavior where I say I'm prepared for daddy's use.

SafferMaster 18:11

Yes.

Lady Petra 18:12

And basically I can't imagine how great that is when you get that kind of message. And you're like, you know, I'm ready, which is really convenient if you think about it, because if you're going to be a three whole slut, you have to, you know, there's biology, part of getting prepared and some days are faster than others and some aren't and to be able to be able to, to, to message that to your dominant so that you have the right amount of time. And so that when he walks in, he does get the presentation of you being prepared. I think there's only been, um, even before this app, there's only been like one or two. I can count them on one hand number of times in two years where you beat me home before I could get out.

SafferMaster 18:52

Right.

Lady Petra 18:52

But there's nothing wrong either. We don't make anything wrong about it.

SafferMaster 18:56

But that said, I have now, since we've been using weminder yeah. I've waited.

Lady Petra 19:02

Yes. I know.

SafferMaster 19:02

to get the note, the message come in from the park.

Lady Petra 19:06

Right.

SafferMaster 19:07

And you know, it's really exciting. So one of the advantages of weminder is that I know I'm going to get that message. And so it doesn't matter where I walk because I don't have to worry about getting home too early. Cause I know I'm going to get the message, but it also means that I can decide randomly to walk further

Lady Petra 19:27

Or sit on a bench and pass some time and whatever.

SafferMaster 19:30

And you get the experience of meditating in your sexual self-expression yes. For a period of time till I get home.

Lady Petra 19:38

Exactly.

SafferMaster 19:39

And that's a very sexualizing experience too.

Lady Petra 19:42

Well, it totally is. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's so amazing when you're in a dynamic where it's like, you know, hand to glove kind of fit.

SafferMaster 19:52

Yes.

Lady Petra 19:52

And earlier on, I remember I had all these stories and I was worried about all these different things. And I felt I put this all on myself. You never did this to me, but I did this. I was hurried. I had to get this done. I had to do this. I had to be, you know, an all these had toos.

SafferMaster 20:07

Right.

Lady Petra 20:07

Which is crazy. Which really, if I think in hindsight, it took away from me being immediately present. When you arrive. Now I know my procedure. I know how long it takes about.

SafferMaster 20:24

yeah.

Lady Petra 20:24

I know what I'm going to do. I've thought about it beforehand. And that's sexualizing itself. Cause I'm planning and planning for a scene I'm planning for us to play. And so then the whole act of me just getting prepared is hugely sexualizing. Hugely.

SafferMaster 20:43

Yeah. I think you can extend that further in our dynamic. We take it into the evening.

Lady Petra 20:50

Oh, totally, totally.

SafferMaster 20:53

You know, we experience Our dynamic even while we make dinner.

Lady Petra 21:00

Oh yeah.

SafferMaster 21:01

Even while we eat dinner,

Lady Petra 21:03

It seamless though. A lot of it because early on and you talked about how you wanted things done.

SafferMaster 21:09

Yes.

Lady Petra 21:09

We've adapted and we both evolve in that context. We've now gotten to a point of general comfort, if you will, comfort of the processes.

SafferMaster 21:20

Right.

Lady Petra 21:21

And so it's not like, that's the one thing I really, I really appreciate about your style is I'm not sitting here being told every single damn thing what I need to do. I can remember things. I'm a service hub and there's a human factor to it. Like, you know, occasionally you forget a knife, but you get up and get a knife. I don't make a big deal. There's nothing wrong.

SafferMaster 21:42

Right.

Lady Petra 21:42

And when I was able to do that, I said, I'm still serving. I'm not, he's not saying I have to be perfect.

SafferMaster 21:48

Right.

Lady Petra 21:50

No one is perfect.

SafferMaster 21:51

No.

Lady Petra 21:51

we're human.

SafferMaster 21:53

Yeah.

Lady Petra 21:53

Idea is he's not mad at me or dissatisfied with me because I omitted something by just sheer forgetting or didn't think of it.

SafferMaster 22:02

Right.

Lady Petra 22:03

Or we'd never run across that scenario before. And I didn't even know to ask you that or whatever, but what we have as an agreement that I trust that you'll tell me if you want something.

SafferMaster 22:13

Exactly.

Lady Petra 22:13

And the whole point is, I want to please you and I want to provide you those things. So just tell me. And it's so great because a lot of relationships and dynamics are innuendo and like these, these huge amounts of tasks, you know, some people are super anal. It's very particular like if you're doing a coffee press, it's gotta be three minutes here and you've got press it here. It's gonna take you a minute and a half to press it all the way down. Don't go any faster.

SafferMaster 22:43

Right.

Lady Petra 22:43

And then you need to pour it and you have to add 1.2, five tablespoons of cream and you have to stir it 30 times. Okay. And I get that maybe, maybe, truly, although I doubt it and someone's going to come back and yell at me at this I'm sure. But I've heard dominant say things like that.

SafferMaster 23:02

Yes.

Lady Petra 23:03

Okay. Let's just say making coffees, it comes to mind. I want to know if the dominant has really followed that exact precise recipe or are they thinking how they could have a good cup of coffee and they're just coming up. I'm not saying it's wrong that they do that. But what I'm saying is long term, you're talking about having someone hopefully around for a long time, right. If they're failing your needs, why wouldn't you want them around, right?

SafferMaster 23:31

Yeah. No, this was, this was a conversation. That's very interesting to me because we live in a 24, seven dynamic.

Lady Petra 23:37

Right.

SafferMaster 23:38

And there's a lot to learn from how we, how we live together because we have such an extraordinary experience of being together.

Lady Petra 23:46

I think someone who didn't know, and there was no volume, like it was only video and they saw us moving in the house.

SafferMaster 23:53

Yeah.

Lady Petra 23:53

They wouldn't know. They may know if they saw our scenes. Yes. But if they just saw everyday life, they may not know there's a dynamic going on.

SafferMaster 24:04

Right.

Lady Petra 24:05

But the reality is that, and that doesn't mean you aren't dominant what it is is we have it refined.

SafferMaster 24:12

Right.

Lady Petra 24:13

It's a, we've talked about this before. It's a dance.

SafferMaster 24:16

Yes.

Lady Petra 24:17

We dance in movement through the house in essence.

SafferMaster 24:21

Right.

Lady Petra 24:21

Because we have our roles, if you will.

SafferMaster 24:26

Right.

Lady Petra 24:26

We have our context for how we choose to live. It's been refined.

SafferMaster 24:32

Yeah. So that speaks to the total power exchange context of our dynamic. I'm interested in the sexualized aspect of dynamics,

Lady Petra 24:41

Well The reason I'm getting to that, the reason I'm putting that in there, just to interrupt you.

SafferMaster 24:45

Yes.

Lady Petra 24:45

Is because as a service sub, that's a turn-on that whole scenario that I just described is a sexualized turn on for a service hub. That's that's the deal,

SafferMaster 24:58

Right!

Lady Petra 24:59

That's what lights my fire.

SafferMaster 25:01

Yes. And then on top of that, we also have the love language that we have, which is physical.

Lady Petra 25:08

Yes.

SafferMaster 25:09

And so for example, you curl up with me on the couch. You cuddle with me in bed,

Lady Petra 25:15

I'll fall sleep on your leg.

SafferMaster 25:16

You do. We have a ritual at night where we get together in bed.

Lady Petra 25:22

And do pillow talk.

SafferMaster 25:22

where you come over and we have pillow talk.

Lady Petra 25:24

Yep.

SafferMaster 25:25

And we'll have a conversation about pillow talk another time, but it's not the pillow talk I'm interested in at the moment. It's the physical aspect of how we relate to each other that keeps us in a sexualized context.

Lady Petra 25:37

Well, yeah. I, I curl up with you. I mean, we have this ritual and it's, I always giggle to myself, but it's such a ritual. It's so wonderful. You always say I'm excited to come to bed.

SafferMaster 25:50

Yes.

Lady Petra 25:51

And then you say, why am I excited to cut to bed? And then I go through the little laundry list of why you're excited. Of course we have soft sheets and you have a three-hole in your bed, a collared slut.

SafferMaster 26:04

Yeah.

Lady Petra 26:05

And you know, if I've just been marked, a marked slut or what have you, you, I've kind of just put in what I put in and then you get in and get settled. And we kind of just experience the wonderfulness because we're really present about where we are in every moment and the presence of just being in the most luxurious bed like this, feeling that, so there's a pause while you experienced that. Cause I usually beat you to bed and I've already experienced that. And then it's not a, it's not a perfect scenario is what's usually said,

SafferMaster 26:38

it's almost perfect.

Lady Petra 26:39

It's almost perfect, but it's not perfect because I'm not near you. So then I come up against you. We, we spoon to the side of you and then I cup your balls and your cock.

SafferMaster 26:50

yeah.

Lady Petra 26:50

And then we talk right. Sometimes for five or six minutes, sometimes for 20 minutes to a half an hour. Sometimes it, it, well, a lot of times it leads to some arousal on both of our parts.

SafferMaster 27:03

Right.

Lady Petra 27:04

And then sometimes that's pushed forward into something like a blow job or fingering or those kinds of things. And sometimes it isn't sometimes it's like, no we're going or kind of like almost aroused and then edging to the point we're going to go to sleep. And then, you know, we, we talk and I love the idea of, I guess if you will, it fondling you and just without actually looking at you, like you would do in a blow job, i t more just without eyes feeling and discovering you and your Manliness.

SafferMaster 27:40

Right.

Lady Petra 27:41

You know,

SafferMaster 27:42

It's very arousing and it's, it's very, my love language is physical. So I'm excited about that experience.

Lady Petra 27:48

Oh yea,

SafferMaster 27:49

It keeps out context, very sexual. And then when, when it's time to go to sleep, you rollover. Yep. I slip my hard cock between your legs.

Lady Petra 27:58

Yes. up my ass, so they know What's happening. Yeah.

SafferMaster 28:03

And then, and then I reach over and I grab a hold of your right breast. Cause you have on your left side.

Lady Petra 28:08

Yeah.

SafferMaster 28:08

And that's how we fall asleep.

Lady Petra 28:10

And you know, we've been doing that for a long time.

SafferMaster 28:13

Right.

Lady Petra 28:14

And, and what I've noticed is because we're both, we recognize we're both going through our own transitions in this dynamic and we're both evolving. And I think when we both got to a point where, especially for me, because you were there a little before me, but when I got to the point where I recognize that of my view, that I could be loved, like really loved. And then I could choose to accept that didn't recognize I wasn't accepting that that is a new action. And therefore it created new things. Right. And so you evolve to, and then at that point, like we started sleeping more soundly. Like it was dramatic, embraced lots longer cuddled. Now you have to understand I'm a thermogenic slut. So the idea is he often cuddles with me and then pretty soon he's almost 5,000 degrees.

SafferMaster 29:08

She does get hot.

Lady Petra 29:08

Yeah. And then, uh, he's, he'll be covered up with, with the comforter and all the sheets over his head completely covered. And I will be like barely a sheet on me with the air conditioner going, and this is winter and I'm feeling just completely fine. And so, and I've always been that way that hasn't changed it, but it's great in winter, not as great in summer, but great in winter. So we're heading into winter now.

SafferMaster 29:35

Yeah. So I think the point is that if we think about what we just talked about, we have a waking hour experience,

Lady Petra 29:43

Right. Of, sexualizing, our dynamic ongoingly. And it's an experience. It's an experience that enhances our relationship and you get a big bump because we committed to having a sex forward kink forward dynamic in the first place. Right.

SafferMaster 30:03

But the context, the context of our dynamic is sexualized. And so this is what I would encourage people to consider and think about is that you can sexualize your dynamic ongoingly with little things. You know, it's just little things that might be a message, or it might be a piece of jewelry.

Lady Petra 30:23

And when we do dessert, the enticement, uh, well, regular food for that matter. But dessert, I'm thinking you love the little way for cookies and you love Kit-Kats. And so it's one of those niceties, those things that constantly keeps the dynamic fresh is like surprise you. I here's a bowl of ice cream with your favorite things. And.

SafferMaster 30:44

yes, exactly.

Lady Petra 30:45

And where the sexualization comes is like, when you enjoy something that, that level yeah. That's a new know your partner thought of you and did that for you. Not just like, it was a task, but like this is a thoughtfulness. Consideration correct. Yeah. That's sexualize it. I mean, maybe I'm weird, but I am a demisexual. So the reality is that sexualized and I see all kinds of things that are sexualized for me that don't require me touching my genitals or anything.

SafferMaster 31:13

Right.

Lady Petra 31:13

But the reality is the passionate you're going to go on your walk a we passionately kiss.

SafferMaster 31:20

Yes.

Lady Petra 31:20

I mean, it's hot. That gets me in a. Twitter.

SafferMaster 31:24

Yeah. Me too.

Lady Petra 31:25

Yeah. And we're responsible for constantly keeping it hot. Yeah. I mean, we don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks is hot. They've got their own hot, we found our hot, you can see over and over again, the responsibility we take for, you know, not taking for granted.

SafferMaster 31:45

Well I can tell you.

Lady Petra 31:45

at the time you have with the other person. Y eah.

SafferMaster 31:47

I can tell you that the sexual encounter we had today, right. It topped everything we've ever done, like everything.

Speaker 4 31:56

So hot. I mean, it was yelling at you to come in my, my with you.

SafferMaster 32:01

It was off the charts. Right.

Lady Petra 32:03

But it's, but it's primal it's.

SafferMaster 32:04

And like I said to you afterwards, you know, it's too bad. We haven't had that kind of hot sex since the last time we had hot sex, which was like yesterday kind of thing.

Lady Petra 32:11

Right. And see that's the point, the point is that I see you and you see me and we live inside of a context that we've created called sex forward, kink forward TPE 24 seven. That's what it is. And we've taken responsibility to keep that context alive because it's the context. I like to believe that context is everything. right.

SafferMaster 32:41

That it's not just that we have hot sex. We have hot sex inside of a context where hot sex is what's expected. And we create that.

Lady Petra 32:49

Well it's yeah. It's what, it's what is expected and desired. We're both in on that.

SafferMaster 32:54

Yeah.

Lady Petra 32:55

And that's changes everything when you're both in and the key is responsibility. You take responsibility because I'm not at all ignoring, like we said earlier.

SafferMaster 33:06

Yeah.

Lady Petra 33:07

Life gets in the way. Some people in dynamics are married. Some are not some that are married, have children. Some do not.

SafferMaster 33:16

Right.

Lady Petra 33:16

Whether they're inner dynamic and married or not married, some do not some do.

SafferMaster 33:21

Yeah.

Lady Petra 33:22

There's also jobs and all these things.

SafferMaster 33:24

Right.

Lady Petra 33:24

Let's just say there's a lot of shit

SafferMaster 33:26

Lots of distractions.

Lady Petra 33:26

And then, you know, life shit. Okay. We all have it. That's for sure. We have different kinds, but we all have it.

SafferMaster 33:35

Yes.

Lady Petra 33:35

The idea that responsibility for me is when you speak to me, I need to stop what I'm doing to pay attention. Right. So you have my full attention. That's responsible. Not yeah yeah Yeah. W hile I still do other. Right.

SafferMaster 33:53

There's actually, I want to just say something about that. There's a book that you can read the research and called'Thinking Fast and Slow', and it's proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that you could actually only do one thing at a time.

Lady Petra 34:08

Right? Oh, I agree. But even if you talk about inner dynamic in a relationship to not put the PR, if you, if you think about all these famous sages over time that have talked about life, they're in the end of their life, they talk about what's most important in life.

SafferMaster 34:26

Right.

Lady Petra 34:27

And they talk about, don't worry about so many things, let things kind of go with the flow. That's one of the main o utages. And the other thing is the most important thing in life is relationship that not all the things and where you've been and how you collect and whatever.

SafferMaster 34:43

Yeah. yeah

Lady Petra 34:45

It's the relationships, how you leave people, how you work with people. And that's where I'm really connected based on, you know, all the stuff we've gone through with our divorces and growing children and all these things that cause chaos I'm left with, I probably wasn't responsible. Well I'm no, it wasn't with my ex. Now neither here nor there. I shouldn't have married him. But the idea is I wasn't responsible for that. Right. I just kind of went so many years now. I have lots of reasons and excuses and all these reasons why I stayed and whatever. And everybody has those.

SafferMaster 35:25

Yeah.

Lady Petra 35:26

But I made a point now where I'm outside of that now, and I'm on the other side and I get to choose how I want to create my life now,

SafferMaster 35:37

right.

Lady Petra 35:37

With integrity, with authenticity. And I choose now to be for my relationships and dynamics in the sense of being present we're sex forward. That means we're probably gonna have sex every day, if not more than once a day. Right. And it's not like a chore to have sex, to have a chore. It's not a chore. But what I'm saying is in that I still have life happening to me.

SafferMaster 36:06

Yes

Lady Petra 36:06

And the idea is I need to be responsible and find myself no matter, let's say I'm paying bills, I'm getting frustrated paying bills. And you come over to me and say, I want you to bend over the couch and use you. I need to be able to be responsible and flip it so that I'm ready because that's what I'm, because what it comes down to, I'm committed to that. I'm committed to the health and the success of our dynamic because I so value it.

SafferMaster 36:34

Right.

Lady Petra 36:34

Well, if I value it that much, it's gotta be more than lip service. It has to be action.

SafferMaster 36:38

Right. And I'm exactly in the same space.

Lady Petra 36:41

right. now. I feel that way too

SafferMaster 36:42

Yeah. And therefore, what we have are like you said two people who are all in. Yep. And what we're all in on is keeping our dynamic extremely alive. Like it's a new dynamic every day.

Lady Petra 36:58

And, and that is, I think we've said it before. And we talk about this ongoingly. Yeah. But I really can't express that enough to people that we, if you think of it, similar to marriage, we're not recommitting our vows every day.

SafferMaster 37:12

No,

Lady Petra 37:12

but what it is is I get up and wander to the bathroom at five in the morning to get ready, to go work out in. The first thing I do is I there's a mirror in the bathroom and I look up and I see I'm collared.

SafferMaster 37:25

Right.

Lady Petra 37:27

And I get to have that aha moment. Like, this is real. This is where I'm at. And this is exciting. And my day begins, even if you're asleep to begin, as I complete things to inform my dominant what I'm up to.

SafferMaster 37:43

Right.

Lady Petra 37:44

Because that fulfills me and it fulfills you too. And those are our agreements and, and that is responsibility. And that keeps it hot.

SafferMaster 37:57

Totally, Yeah. It's hot.

Lady Petra 37:58

Yeah. It keeps it hot. That's it for today. If you're interested in relationship, coaching, online domination, or if you'd like to sponsor the pod to keep it going, please visit our Patrion website at lady Petra playground. You can reach me via email@ladypetraplaygroundatgmail.com. Our music is composed and performed by Roger Ferguson can be found@rogerfergusonmusic.com till next time. Cheers.